Health

Should Your Partner Really Be Your Best Friend?

Published

1 year ago

February 10, 2025

Should Your Partner Really Be Your Best Friend?

Stephanie Lopez is effusive about her husband’s good qualities. He is a man of character, kindness and integrity, she said. He is a loving father and treats her with respect.

But is he her best friend?

“No!” said Ms. Lopez, who is 43 and lives on Hawaii’s Big Island.

“I don’t have sex with my friends,” she explained. “I don’t pay bills with my friends. And I guarantee you, if I did, it would change the whole dynamic of the relationship.”

The belief that your partner should be your best friend pops up everywhere, whether on social media or in the greeting card aisle. It’s not unusual to seek a romantic partner who fulfills more than the role of spouse, co-parent or lover, said Alexandra Solomon, a clinical psychologist and host of the “Reimagining Love” podcast.

“We want somebody who sees us and gets us,” Dr. Solomon said. “Well, that’s the same darn thing we want in our friendships. We really are craving that same sense of affinity and admiration.”

But is it unreasonable to expect your bedmate to be your best friend, or is it the highest form of intimacy?

A Spouse’s Ever-Changing Role

Jennifer Santiago, 42, and her husband are best friends.

The couple, who began dating in high school, have broken up briefly over the years, taking time apart to get to know themselves and what they want out of life. But their underlying friendship brought them back together every time, said Ms. Santiago, who lives in Orlando.

“There was always an empty void when we took a break,” she said. They realized: “Wow, we really, truly do everything together!”

Historically, that is a relatively new approach to romantic relationships, said Eli J. Finkel, a social psychologist and the author of “The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work.”

Until the mid-1800s, marriage in the United States mostly revolved around ensuring partners had their basic needs (like food and shelter) met — what Dr. Finkel calls the “pragmatic era.” Between 1850 and 1965, marriage entered the “love-based era” — in which the primary relationship functions were about love and companionship, he said. Since then, we have been in the “self-expressive” era — in which marriage is about not only love, but also personal growth.

“The marital relationship has taken on more and more responsibility for our social and psychological needs,” Dr. Finkel said.

How to Set Realistic Expectations

Is it a good or bad thing that many people now expect their romantic relationships to fulfill so many roles in their lives? Ultimately, that depends on “whether your relationship can deliver,” said Dr. Finkel, who is also a co-host of the “Love Factually” podcast.

He feels “delighted” for people who say they want their romantic partners to also be their best friends. But he suggests they consider: Are there other expectations they can let go of? For instance, he said, it is a lot to expect your partner to be the co-chief executive of the household, to split child care, to be your exclusive sexual companion and to be your best friend.

“I don’t want to sound like a scold,” Dr. Finkel said. “I just want people to be aware that every additional expectation that you’re throwing on top of your relationship comes with opportunity for enhanced closeness — and it comes with additional risk that the relationship will buckle under the weight of those expectations.”

He suggested releasing some of that pressure. Can you lean on other friends for emotional support? Are you OK being emotionally close to your partner, but not necessarily having the spiciest intimate life together?

Dr. Solomon believes that friendship, particularly best friendship, is not a requisite for long-term intimacy. But it doesn’t hurt either, she said.

Liking your partner — which she described as admiring them, finding them funny, caring about their worldview, and having fun simply being together — can “cushion” the other relationship challenges a couple might face, she said.

But Dr. Solomon admitted that while she adores her husband of 26 years, he is not her best friend. “My best friend’s name is Ali, and she lives in Seattle,” she said. “She’s been in that spot since we were 10 years old.”

Ultimately, maintaining a tight romantic bond may come down to managing expectations and clearly discussing them, said Adam Fisher, president of the American Psychological Association’s division for couple and family psychology.

Dr. Fisher had a mentor who described marriage and relationships as best friendship plus sex. While he thinks that is one “very viable” approach to a relationship, he said, it is by no means the only one.

“Couples need some kind of ‘glue’ — commitment, shared values, sex, finances — something,” he said, but it doesn’t need to be friendship.

Ms. Lopez is opting out of the bedmate-as-BFF paradigm.

“I think we put so many expectations and responsibilities on our partners,” she said. “I’m not here to be everything and all things to you.”

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Health

Dementia risk signals could lie in simple blood pressure readings, researchers say

Published

10 hours ago

March 27, 2026

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Dementia risk signals could lie in simple blood pressure readings, researchers say

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Simple measurements taken during routine blood pressure checks could predict dementia risk years before symptoms appear.

That’s according to new research presented this week at the American College of Cardiology’s Annual Scientific Session in Louisiana.

The findings draw on two studies led by researchers at Georgetown University, which suggest that monitoring how blood vessels age and stiffen over time can provide a window into future cognitive health.

LURKING DEMENTIA RISK EXPOSED BY BREAKTHROUGH TEST 25 YEARS BEFORE SYMPTOMS

Data shows rates of dementia and aging-related cognitive decline are expected to increase as populations age, and half of U.S. adults have high blood pressure (hypertension).

Scientists believe that efforts to better address hypertension, a key contributor to heart disease and a risk factor for dementia, could affect both cardiac and brain health.

Data shows rates of dementia and aging-related cognitive decline are expected to increase as populations age. Meanwhile, half of U.S. adults have high blood pressure. (iStock)

“Blood pressure management isn’t just about preventing heart attacks and strokes; it may also be one of the most actionable strategies for preserving cognitive health,” Dr. Newton Nyirenda, the study’s lead author and an epidemiologist at Georgetown University in Washington, said in a press release.

The research focused on two metrics, the pulse pressure-heart rate index and estimated pulse wave velocity. Both were calculated using data collected during standard doctor visits, such as heart rate, age and blood pressure.

“Blood pressure management isn’t just about preventing heart attacks and strokes; it may also be one of the most actionable strategies for preserving cognitive health.”

Researchers examined five years of data patterns for more than 8,500 people in the SPRINT trial, a large study of adults 50 years and older with hypertension. In the follow-up, 323 of the participants developed probable dementia.

HIDDEN BRAIN CONDITION MAY QUADRUPLE DEMENTIA RISK IN OLDER ADULTS, STUDY SUGGESTS

In one study, the team found the pulse pressure-heart rate index was a strong independent predictor of dementia risk in adults over 50. For participants under 65, every one-unit increase was associated with a 76% higher risk of developing dementia.

For participants under 65, an increase in the pulse pressure-heart rate index was associated with a 76% higher risk of developing dementia. (iStock)

The second study found that adults with consistently elevated or rapidly increasing pulse wave velocity were more likely to develop dementia than those with stable velocity, even after accounting for factors like smoking, gender and cardiovascular history.

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“Our findings suggest that vascular aging patterns may provide meaningful insight into future dementia risk,” said Nyirenda. “This reinforces the idea that managing vascular health earlier in life may influence long-term brain health.”

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The team emphasized that clinicians should tailor risk assessments and treatment strategies to the individual.

Further studies are needed to confirm these parameters and determine whether changing vascular aging trajectories reduces dementia risk. (iStock)

“You don’t want to wait until a patient starts manifesting cognitive decline before you act,” said senior study author Sula Mazimba, an associate professor at the University of Virginia.

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Researchers noted the study could not establish causation. Other limitations included the fact that participants already had hypertension and elevated cardiovascular risk, meaning the findings may not apply to people without those conditions.

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Further studies are needed to confirm these findings and to determine whether improving blood vessel health over time could reduce dementia risk.

Khloe Quill is a lifestyle production assistant with Fox News Digital. She and the lifestyle team cover a range of story topics including food and drink, travel, and health.

Health

Everything You Need To Know About Zepbound for Weight Loss, Including Costs

Published

21 hours ago

March 26, 2026

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Everything You Need To Know About Zepbound for Weight Loss, Including Costs

What Is Zepbound? Weight-Loss Benefits, Costs and Dosage

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Health

‘Gas station heroin’ banned in another state amid nationwide crackdowns

Published

22 hours ago

March 26, 2026

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‘Gas station heroin’ banned in another state amid nationwide crackdowns

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A dangerous substance dubbed “gas station heroin” continues to alarm medical professionals, with more states making moves to restrict or ban tianeptine.

Fourteen states have officially classified the tricyclic antidepressant as a Schedule I controlled substance.

Connecticut is the latest state to crack down, officially banning the sale and use of the substance starting on Wednesday.

HEALTH OFFICIALS WARN OF DANGEROUS SUBSTANCE AVAILABLE IN STORES ACROSS THE NATION

Tianeptine, which can produce euphoria in higher doses, can be more potent than morphine and addictive opioids, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Some countries have taken steps to restrict how tianeptine is prescribed or dispensed, and have even revised the labels to warn people of its potential addictive qualities.

Tianeptine can be more potent than morphine and addictive opioids. (iStock)

Misuse of tianeptine can cause severe adverse health effects, including respiratory depression, severe sedation and death, according to the Drug Enforcement Administration.

Some companies market the drug as an aid for pain, anxiety and depression, or as a means of improving mental alertness in a pill, powder, salt or liquid form.

The products are typically sold at convenience stores, gas stations, vape shops and online retailers, and go by names like Tianaa, ZaZa, Neptune’s Fix, Pegasus and TD Red.

Connecticut is the 15th state to classify tianeptine as a Schedule I controlled substance. (Markus Scholz/picture alliance via Getty Images)

Connecticut Lt. Gov. Susan Bysiewicz said in a press release that the schedule change is a necessary step to combat addiction.

“With false marketing that led consumers to believe these are safe products, and with candy-like flavor options, these substances posed a clear threat to those battling substance-use disorder and our youngest residents,” she added.

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The Nutmeg State also added Mitragyna speciosa (kratom), 7-hydroxymitragynine, Bromazolam, Flubromazolam, Nitazenes and Phenibut to the schedule classification.

Earlier this month, FDA Commissioner Martin Makary penned a letter sounding the alarm on what he called a “dangerous and growing health trend.”

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“I am very concerned,” Makary wrote. “I want the public to be especially aware of this dangerous product and the serious and continuing risk it poses to America’s youth.”

New York-based Robert Schwaner, M.D., vice chair of system clinical affairs at Stony Brook Emergency Medicine, told Fox News Digital that the FDA has never approved tianeptine as a dietary supplement.

“As with heroin and other opioids, significant mu-opioid receptor stimulation ultimately results in a loss of respiratory drive and subsequent cardiac arrest.” (Dekalb County Sheriff’s Office)

“The euphoria at low doses is primarily due to increased serotonergic activity from its serotonin reuptake effects. With increasing doses, the mu-opioid receptor stimulation may become lethal,” said Schwaner. “As with heroin and other opioids, significant mu-opioid receptor stimulation ultimately results in a loss of respiratory drive and subsequent cardiac arrest.”

Schwaner said he believes the substance requires national regulation due to its addictive qualities.

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“Acting at the same receptor as opioids, tianeptine has the potential for an individual to develop tolerance, subsequent dependence and withdrawal from its use,” he cautioned.

Fox News Digital reached out to the FDA for comment.

Fox News Digital’s Greg Wehner and Melissa Rudy contributed to this report.

Ashley J. DiMella is a lifestyle reporter with Fox News Digital.