Health

Should Your Partner Really Be Your Best Friend?

Published

1 year ago

February 10, 2025

Should Your Partner Really Be Your Best Friend?

Stephanie Lopez is effusive about her husband’s good qualities. He is a man of character, kindness and integrity, she said. He is a loving father and treats her with respect.

But is he her best friend?

“No!” said Ms. Lopez, who is 43 and lives on Hawaii’s Big Island.

“I don’t have sex with my friends,” she explained. “I don’t pay bills with my friends. And I guarantee you, if I did, it would change the whole dynamic of the relationship.”

The belief that your partner should be your best friend pops up everywhere, whether on social media or in the greeting card aisle. It’s not unusual to seek a romantic partner who fulfills more than the role of spouse, co-parent or lover, said Alexandra Solomon, a clinical psychologist and host of the “Reimagining Love” podcast.

“We want somebody who sees us and gets us,” Dr. Solomon said. “Well, that’s the same darn thing we want in our friendships. We really are craving that same sense of affinity and admiration.”

But is it unreasonable to expect your bedmate to be your best friend, or is it the highest form of intimacy?

A Spouse’s Ever-Changing Role

Jennifer Santiago, 42, and her husband are best friends.

The couple, who began dating in high school, have broken up briefly over the years, taking time apart to get to know themselves and what they want out of life. But their underlying friendship brought them back together every time, said Ms. Santiago, who lives in Orlando.

“There was always an empty void when we took a break,” she said. They realized: “Wow, we really, truly do everything together!”

Historically, that is a relatively new approach to romantic relationships, said Eli J. Finkel, a social psychologist and the author of “The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work.”

Until the mid-1800s, marriage in the United States mostly revolved around ensuring partners had their basic needs (like food and shelter) met — what Dr. Finkel calls the “pragmatic era.” Between 1850 and 1965, marriage entered the “love-based era” — in which the primary relationship functions were about love and companionship, he said. Since then, we have been in the “self-expressive” era — in which marriage is about not only love, but also personal growth.

“The marital relationship has taken on more and more responsibility for our social and psychological needs,” Dr. Finkel said.

How to Set Realistic Expectations

Is it a good or bad thing that many people now expect their romantic relationships to fulfill so many roles in their lives? Ultimately, that depends on “whether your relationship can deliver,” said Dr. Finkel, who is also a co-host of the “Love Factually” podcast.

He feels “delighted” for people who say they want their romantic partners to also be their best friends. But he suggests they consider: Are there other expectations they can let go of? For instance, he said, it is a lot to expect your partner to be the co-chief executive of the household, to split child care, to be your exclusive sexual companion and to be your best friend.

“I don’t want to sound like a scold,” Dr. Finkel said. “I just want people to be aware that every additional expectation that you’re throwing on top of your relationship comes with opportunity for enhanced closeness — and it comes with additional risk that the relationship will buckle under the weight of those expectations.”

He suggested releasing some of that pressure. Can you lean on other friends for emotional support? Are you OK being emotionally close to your partner, but not necessarily having the spiciest intimate life together?

Dr. Solomon believes that friendship, particularly best friendship, is not a requisite for long-term intimacy. But it doesn’t hurt either, she said.

Liking your partner — which she described as admiring them, finding them funny, caring about their worldview, and having fun simply being together — can “cushion” the other relationship challenges a couple might face, she said.

But Dr. Solomon admitted that while she adores her husband of 26 years, he is not her best friend. “My best friend’s name is Ali, and she lives in Seattle,” she said. “She’s been in that spot since we were 10 years old.”

Ultimately, maintaining a tight romantic bond may come down to managing expectations and clearly discussing them, said Adam Fisher, president of the American Psychological Association’s division for couple and family psychology.

Dr. Fisher had a mentor who described marriage and relationships as best friendship plus sex. While he thinks that is one “very viable” approach to a relationship, he said, it is by no means the only one.

“Couples need some kind of ‘glue’ — commitment, shared values, sex, finances — something,” he said, but it doesn’t need to be friendship.

Ms. Lopez is opting out of the bedmate-as-BFF paradigm.

“I think we put so many expectations and responsibilities on our partners,” she said. “I’m not here to be everything and all things to you.”

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Health

Cheap surgery overseas may come with devastating complications, doctors warn

Published

9 hours ago

April 18, 2026

Press Room

Cheap surgery overseas may come with devastating complications, doctors warn

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More than three million people travel to undergo cosmetic surgery each year, statistics show — but the potential savings come at a cost.

Most people opting to pursue this so-called “medical tourism” are chasing budget-friendly price tags.

International surgeries, such as hair transplants in Turkey, can cost as little as $4,000 to $5,000 compared to $20,000 to $30,000 in the U.S., but often come with extreme risks, according to board-certified plastic surgeon Dr. Sheila Nazarian of California.

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The doctor recently joined Lisa Brady on the “The FOX News Rundown” podcast to discuss the rising trend of medical tourism. One of the biggest risks, she said, is the lack of safety regulations in popular destinations like Mexico and Turkey.

As demand spikes in these medical tourism “mills,” there have been reports of non-medically trained staff performing procedures like hair transplants.

Most people opting to pursue “medical tourism” are chasing budget-friendly price tags. (iStock)

“I’ve heard that they [international clinics] are even recruiting people who maybe were taxi drivers and then putting them through their own training program … to become hair transplant technicians,” Nazarian said. “That’s how high the demand has become.”

In the U.S., medical school graduates are granted a “physician and surgeon” license, which means doctors — including pediatricians or OB-GYNs — can legally perform cosmetic surgeries, even if they didn’t receive specialized training for those procedures during residency, Nazarian noted.

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Instead of pinching pennies, the doctor recommended paying whatever amount is necessary to ensure quality treatment.

“People think of it as, you know, going to the mall. … It’s surgery, and surgery has risks,” she said. “You need to be with someone who not only can perform a beautiful surgery, but who can handle possible complications well.”

“You need to ask them: ‘What was your residency training in? And if you wanted to, would you be allowed to do this procedure in a hospital?’”

Aftercare is another critical factor in the success and safety of a cosmetic procedure, as the doctor emphasized that 20% of a surgical result depends on post-operative care.

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This can be difficult or even impossible to manage when a doctor is in a different time zone, she cautioned, or if the clinic disappears shortly after the procedure.

Nazarian also noted the importance of addressing the psychological component of plastic surgery, noting that no procedure will fix underlying unhappiness. The doctor said she uses screening questionnaires to ensure that patients are truly seeking self-improvement rather than a “cure” for deeper issues.

International surgeries, such as hair transplants in Turkey, can cost as little as $4,000 to $5,000 compared to $20,000 to $30,000 in the U.S., but often come with extreme risks. (iStock)

“If you’re not already generally very content with your life, a knife in my hand is not going to bring you there,” Nazarian said.

“The analogy I always give is you don’t want a paisley couch — you want a neutral couch and you can put paisley pillows on it,” she said, noting that a procedure should “make you look normal, God-given, athletic. And then you can change your clothes when the trends come and go.”

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Samuel Golpanian, M.D., a double board-certified plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills, said he has also seen an increasing number of patients undergoing cosmetic procedures abroad, sometimes with “devastating consequences.”

“The key is being extremely careful before embarking on this journey.”

“I’ve seen a wide range of complications, including infections, poor wound healing, significant scarring and tissue necrosis (skin death),” he told Fox News Digital. “These complications often lead to prolonged pain, ongoing medical problems, and significant additional costs to repair the damage.”

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Golpanian said he’s treated patients who received unsafe or non-medical-grade injectable materials, which can lead to serious long-term health issues.

One surgeon said he’s treated patients who received unsafe or non-medical-grade injectable materials, which can lead to serious long-term health issues. (iStock)

“I’ve also seen damage to underlying structures, asymmetry and results that are extremely difficult — sometimes impossible — to correct.”

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“That said, I’ve also seen some good outcomes, so it’s not all bad,” he noted. “The key is being extremely careful before embarking on this journey.”

Quick tips for safe ‘medical tourism’

Fully vet the surgeon. “Most surgeons will provide information about their education and training, but it’s important not to accept these claims at face value,” Golpanian said. “Verify them directly by contacting the institutions where they trained.”

Ask for references from prior patients. Ideally, it’s best to get references from U.S.-based patients who can speak candidly about both their experience and their results, the surgeonsaid.

Think beyond the cost. Golpanian emphasized the adage “you get what you pay for.” “Cost should take a back seat to experience, training, judgment and proven results,” he advised.

Be cautious about relying on before-and-after photos. These can be selective or even enhanced, Golpanian warned.

Keep aftercare in focus. “Make sure the practice emphasizes comprehensive follow-up care and has a clear, realistic post-operative plan in place.”

Melissa Rudy is senior health editor and a member of the lifestyle team at Fox News Digital. Story tips can be sent to melissa.rudy@fox.com.

Health

This 1-Minute Senobi Breathing Trick Curbs Cravings and Boosts Weight Loss

Published

20 hours ago

April 17, 2026

Press Room

This 1-Minute Senobi Breathing Trick Curbs Cravings and Boosts Weight Loss

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