Movie Reviews
Borderlands (2024) – Movie Review
Borderlands, 2024.
Directed by Eli Roth.
Starring Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis, Edgar Ramírez, Ariana Greenblatt, Florian Munteanu, Gina Gershon, Haley Bennett, Janina Gavankar, Cheyenne Jackson, Charles Babalola, Benjamin Byron Davis, Steven Boyer, Ryann Redmond, Bobby Lee, Olivier Richters, Justin Price, and Paula Andrea Placido.
SYNOPSIS:
Based on the best-selling videogame, this all-star action-adventure follows a ragtag team of misfits on a mission to save a missing girl who holds the key to unimaginable power.
An adaptation of the popular cooperative multiplayer open-world video game series, Borderlands doesn’t play to the strengths of exploration or the strengths of co-writer/director Eli Roth as a shock filmmaker. The ultraviolent horror guru seems like an inspired choice on paper, considering these are Mature-rated games that also derive energy and excitement from gore and juvenile humor (typically referencing pop culture or smartly deconstructing video game tropes), but he has bafflingly been given a PG-13 rating to work with. To be fair, one can also imagine this turning out just as lifeless and generic even if Eli Roth and co-writer Joe Crombie had been given the green light to do whatever they wanted because they seem to fundamentally not understand what anyone likes about these games and are packaging it into a cinematic interpretation devoid of any personality.
Simultaneously, not all of these shortcomings should necessarily be attributed to the filmmakers. Borderlands isn’t exactly the type of video game property with strong storytelling or beloved heroes that scream for an adaptation. However, given the game’s visual color and humorous dialogue, there is reason to believe this could work if it elicits laughter and delivers fun variations of the playable characters and sidekicks, possibly fleshing them out in the process. Here, the attempts at comedy are forced to the point of cringe, whereas the story is a generic tale about a teenage girl theorized to have special abilities capable of opening a hidden vault many have tried hunting for.
Everything here is lifeless to the point where it is also a struggle to find things to say, so here’s an anecdote about my opening-night screening (this film was not screened for press in Chicago.) 15 minutes into the film, a random man walks in and sits down, most likely sneaking in after having just finished watching something else. He left after five minutes, presumably because the snarky humor was bombing, the plotting was basic, the action was bland, and the visuals were dull and complemented by costumes that feel more like high-end cosplay.
Cate Blanchett is the redhaired Lilith, a bounty hunter employed by Atlas (Edgar Ramirez) to rescue his daughter Tiny Tina (a fan-favorite played by Ariana Greenblatt) from one of his soldiers, Roland (a completely miscast Kevin Hart), aware that she is disposable to her father and locked away, only being used to one day open the vault when it is discovered. Meanwhile, one of the Mad Max-inspired masked psychos (Florian Munteanu) serves as a brute bodyguard for Tiny Tina. Three keys must be collected beforehand; this is based on a video game, after all. Unsurprisingly, everyone comes together and finds themselves on the same side, fighting against Atlas while searching for these keys.
As a game, there would be ample time to run off and cross paths with several kooky side characters offering up side missions that would give the consumer a sense of this world overrun by greedy corporations (a thematic thread the film does nothing with.) Or maybe it would be the right time to dig into the unique shooter mechanics that prioritized exploring and killing as much as possible to be rewarded with special weapon drops of varying damage levels and distinct traits (as far back as the first game, there were thousands of possibilities regarding these sometimes randomly generated firearms.)
Instead, Borderlands is rushing through this generic story (that smashes together multiple aspects and characters from all three games until it comes across as an overstuffed mess, similar to far too many other video game adaptations) like a player only concerned with speeding their way through the plot-centric quests, that’s not the right way to play Borderlands, and that for damn sure isn’t the correct way to adapt it.
Some other characters join the adventure, ranging from comedic robot sidekick Claptrap (for some reason voiced by Jack Black even though it sounds nothing like him and Lionsgate didn’t bother to market the movie, meaning it wouldn’t have mattered just giving the role to voiceover performer David Eddings again) and Jamie Lee Curtis’ scientifically inclined Tannis (doing almost nothing in the movie but spouting exposition even though she tags along, making it feel like that fourth person in the party who doesn’t provide any real assistance and just racks up Achievements from everyone else’s hard work.)
No matter who they are, everyone feels halfway committed to their video game counterpart in screenplay construction. The bigger issue is that, in doing so, the filmmakers never figure out who these characters are or why anyone should care about them. Technically, you could say the film looks like Borderlands, but even that statement only goes so far since the adaptation is robbed of the aesthetically pleasing cel-shaded animation. The song choices for the action sequences are seemingly selected at random, with encounters against even giant monstrosities lasting about as long as they do in the trailer.
Everything here feels desperate to convince viewers that everyone involved gets and understands Borderlands, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. There is hesitation in calling the film awful since the actors are trying, and there is a base-level competence to the proceedings, but this is a bore with zero personality.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
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Movie Reviews
1986 Movie Reviews – Dangerously Close, Fire with Fire, Last Resort, and Short Circuit | The Nerdy
by | May 9, 2026May 9, 2026 10:30 am EDT
Welcome to an exciting year-long project here at The Nerdy. 1986 was an exciting year for films giving us a lot of films that would go on to be beloved favorites and cult classics. It was also the start to a major shift in cultural and societal norms, and some of those still reverberate to this day.
We’re going to pick and choose which movies we hit, but right now the list stands at nearly four dozen.
Yes, we’re insane, but 1986 was that great of a year for film.
The articles will come out – in most cases – on the same day the films hit theaters in 1986 so that it is their true 40th anniversary. All films are also watched again for the purposes of these reviews and are not being done from memory. In some cases, it truly will be the first time we’ve seen them.
This time around, it’s May 9, 1986, and we’re off to see Dangerously Close, Fire with Fire, Last Resort, and Short Circuit.
Dangerously Close
I would love to tell you what the point of this film was, but I’m not sure it knew.
An elite school has turned into a magnet school, attracting some “undesirables,” so a group of students known as The Sentinels take up policing their school, but will they go too far?
The basic plot of the film is simple enough, but there is an oddball “twist” toward the end tht served no real purpose and somehow turns the whole thing into a murder-mystery. Mysteries only work when you know you’re supposed to be solving them, and not when you’re alerted to one existing with 15 minutes left.
Decent 80s music, some stylistic shots, absolutely no substance.
Fire with Fire
Oh wait… I may want to go back and watch Dangerously Close again over this one.
Joe Fisk (Craig Sheffer) is being held at a juvenile delinquent facility close a high-end all-girls Catholic school. One day while running through the forest as part of an exercise he spots Catholic schoolgirl Lisa Taylor (Virginia Madsen) and the two fall immediately in love because… reasons.
This film is just so incredibly lazy. The ‘love story’ really can just be chalked up to ‘hormones.’
Last Resort
Once again I am baffled how Charles Grodin kept getting work so much through out the 1980s.
George Lollar (Grodin) is a salesman in Chicago in need of a vacation. He loads up the family and takes them to Club Sand, which turns out to be a swingers resort as well as surrounded by barbed wire to keep rebels out.
There are a lot of talented people in this movie such as Phil Hartman and Megan Mullally, but the film lets them down at every turn with half-baked ideas of jokes. Supposedly, Grodin rewrote nearly the entire script and I think that explains a lot about how this film feels like unfinished ideas. It’s a Frankenstein monster of a script with half-complete ideas that feel like they are from completely different movies.
Short Circuit
Lets just get this out of the way: What in the world was Fisher Stevens doing?
NOVA Laboratory has come up with a new series of military robots called S.A.I.N.T. (Strategic Artificially Intelligent Nuclear Transport). Following a successful demonstration for the military, Five is struck by an electrical surge and finds itself needing ‘input.’ After inadvertently escaping the lab, it wands into the life of Stephanie Speck (Ally Sheedy), who cares for animals and takes Five in. Dr. Newton Crosby (Steve Guttenberg) is trying to get five back, while the security team wants to destroy it.
Overall, the film is thin, but harmless. The 80s did seem to love a ‘technology being used for the wrong reasons’ theme, and this falls into that camp. What is mind-blowing, however, is Stevens as Ben Jabituya, Crosby’s assistant. Not only is he wearing brown face, but he’s doing a horrible Indian accent and later reveals he was born and raised in the U.S.
His whole character is mystifying.
Honestly, a couple of decades ago I may have recommended this movie, but it’s a definite pass now just for being offensive.
1986 Movie Reviews will continue on May 16, 2026, with Sweet Liberty and Top Gun.
By ABBIE BERNSTEIN / Staff Writer
Posted: May 8th, 2026 / 08:34 PM
AFFECTION movie poster | ©2026 Brainstorm Media
Rating: Not Rated
Stars: Jessica Rothe, Joseph Cross, Julianna Layne
Writer: BT Meza
Director: BT Meza
Distributor: Brainstorm Media
Release Date: May 8, 2026
AFFECTION is an odd title for this tale. While it is about a number of topics and emotions, fondness isn’t one of them. Obsession, definitely. Love, possibly. The kind of general warm fellow feelings associated with “affection”? No.
There have been a lot of movies lately in which characters – mostly women – are grappling with false identities and/or false memories imposed upon them, mostly by men.
Let us stipulate that the protagonist (Jessica Rothe) in AFFECTION is not an android or in an artificial reality. However, we can tell something is way off from the opening sequence. A car is stalled on a tree-bordered highway. Rothe’s character is lying face down on the asphalt beside it, possibly dead.
But then the young woman rises, dragging a broken ankle. She experiences a full-body seizure. Fighting to recover, she sees oncoming headlights and tries to run, only to be hit by a car.
The woman wakes up in a bed she doesn’t recognize, next to a man (Joseph Cross) she likewise is sure she’s never seen before. One big confrontation later, the man says his name is Bruce – and that the woman is his wife, Ellie.
Ellie insists that her name is Sarah Thompson, and she is married to someone else, with a son. When she sees her reflection in a mirror, she doesn’t relate to the face looking back at her.
Bruce counters that Ellie has a rare neurological condition that causes her to block out her waking life and believe her dreams are real. This is why they agreed, together, to move to this isolated house, without the kinds of interruptions that can hinder Ellie’s recovery.
The set-up is presented in a way where we share Ellie’s skepticism. But Ellie and Bruce’s little daughter Alice (Julianna Layne) immediately identifies Ellie as “Mommy!” Alice appears to be too young to be in on any kind of deception, so what is going on here?
AFFECTION eventually explains this via a helpful videotape, though it’s so convoluted that viewers watching on streaming may want to replay the sequence to make sure they understand the exposition.
Writer/director BT Meza musters a sense of menace and lurking weirdness, as well as making great use of his location.
We still have a lot of questions, many of which are still unanswered by the film’s end. It may not matter to the points AFFECTION is trying to make, but a better sense of exactly how all this started might help our investment.
As it is, despite a heroically versatile performance by Rothe, a credible and anguished turn by Cross and appealing work from Layne, we’re so busy trying to piece together what’s important and what’s not and how we’re supposed to feel about all of it that it can be hard to keep track of the action as it unfolds.
Agree or not, Meza’s arguments are lucid and illustrated clearly by AFFECTION’s events. However, the movie is structured in a way that becomes more frustrating as it goes. We comprehend it intellectually but can’t engage viscerally.
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The hosts gave their reviews and assigned the following star ratings:
Deanna: ★★★★.5
Allison: ★★★.25
Julia: ★★
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