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How Mahmoud Khalil, a Columbia Student Activist, Landed in Federal Detention

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How Mahmoud Khalil, a Columbia Student Activist, Landed in Federal Detention

Crowds of masked student protesters raging against the war in Gaza filled the Columbia University lawns last spring, while counterprotesters and journalists surrounded the tent city that had been erected there.

One man stood out.

He was Mahmoud Khalil, a graduate student in his 20s, older than most of the students around him. Mr. Khalil, a Syrian immigrant of Palestinian descent, quickly emerged as a vocal and measured leader during rallies and sit-ins, doing on-camera interviews with the media in a zip-up sweater.

And he was unmasked. Many other international students wore masks and kept to the background of the protests, for fear of being singled out and losing their visas.

His wife worried. “We’ve talked about the mask thing,” Noor Abdalla, a 28-year-old dentist from the Midwest, said in an interview last week. “He always tells me, ‘What I am doing wrong that I need to be covering my face for?’”

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Mr. Khalil was a negotiator on behalf of Columbia University Apartheid Divest, the main coalition of protesting student groups, and one with its own spectrum of attitudes toward violence and dark rhetoric.

His decision to quite literally be the face of a deeply divisive movement would have huge consequences for Mr. Khalil. He was called out by critics by name on social media, and on March 8, seven weeks after the inauguration of Donald Trump, federal agents arrived at his door. He was swiftly taken to a detention center in Louisiana, where he is still being held for what officials have described, without providing details, as leading activities aligned with Hamas, an allegation he has denied.

Mr. Khalil’s friends and family have expressed outrage at his detention and possible deportation. But they also say they are not surprised by his activism in a movement that he was born into, nor his relatively calm presence amid a swarm of noise.

As he moved through the world, Mr. Khalil could often come across as the adult in the room. And to one who had known him as an office mate in an earlier time, his role in front of microphones and wielding a bullhorn came unexpected.

“He’s very sort of mild mannered,” said Andrew Waller, a former colleague who worked with Mr. Khalil in Beirut at the British diplomatic office for Syria. “Seeing him in more of a sort of leadership or spokesperson role, I guess was a surprise.”

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Mr. Khalil arrived at Columbia University at the end of a long and winding journey. His Palestinian origin story was written and ended before he was born.

His grandparents were from a village near Tiberias, a city on the western shore of the Sea of Galilee in Palestine before it became part of the state of Israel. They were forced to flee in 1948 during the wars preceding Israel’s establishment, Mr. Khalil has said, settling with other members of their large family in southern Damascus in Syria, in a Palestinian refugee enclave. It was there that Mr. Khalil was born in 1995.

In the early 2010s, he fled the Syrian conflict to Lebanon, where he arrived alone and broke. He worked in construction to make enough money to pursue an education, according to his friend Ahmad Berro, who met Mr. Khalil while the two were studying at Lebanese American University. Mr. Khalil graduated in 2018 with a degree in computer science.

While in Lebanon, Mr. Khalil worked with Jusoor, a Syrian American educational nonprofit. There, in 2016, he met the woman who would become his wife, a U.S. citizen of Syrian descent.

In 2018, he began working on programs related to Syria for the British diplomatic office in Beirut. He eventually oversaw a scholarship program for foreign students to study in Britain. His work was informed by his personal experiences of fleeing Syria and his opposition to the government there, Mr. Waller, his former colleague, said.

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After about four years, Mr. Khalil set his sights on the United States and applied to a few graduate schools. He hoped to be accepted at one in particular, Columbia University and its School of International and Public Affairs.

He was accepted and enrolled in January 2023.

He saw it as a huge win, not only for himself, but for his fellow refugees, said Lauren Bohn, a journalist who met Mr. Khalil in Beirut and spent time with him after his admission to Columbia. “He said, ‘This will really help me serve all the others who aren’t going to be able to get this chance.’”

He had been at the university for some nine months when everything changed on Oct. 7, 2023.

Students at Columbia turned out for protests immediately after Hamas’s attacks on Israel. Some were quiet calls for peace, others more raucous. Pro-Palestinian and anti-Israel chants rang through the campus, rattling many Jewish students.

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Mr. Khalil was on the front lines with Palestinian activists, bracing for a counterattack from Israel that was imminent. In a video from Oct. 12, five days after the attacks, he is seen atop another person’s shoulders, shouting “Free Palestine!” into a bullhorn.

Months of protests followed. Then, in April 2024, pro-Palestinian students established an encampment at the center of campus. They demanded that the university divest from what they called “all economic and academic stakes in Israel,” including Columbia’s dual-degree partnership with Tel Aviv University.

The rows of tents pitched on Columbia’s iconic, grassy lawns inspired similar protests at universities across the United States. They became a flashpoint after Columbia’s president called the New York City police to campus, leading to the arrests of more than 100 people. As the protests intensified, some Jewish students complained about feeling unsafe. Some heard anti-Zionist chants as threatening to them personally. Those accounts reached Congress, where Republicans derided the protests as antisemitic and Columbia as out of control.

When negotiations began between the protesters and the university, Mr. Khalil emerged as a lead spokesman for the students. The two sides met day and night. A Columbia administrator who negotiated with him described Mr. Khalil as thoughtful, passionate and principled, sometimes to the point of rigidity. He got his back up when he felt he wasn’t being taken seriously. Mr. Khalil was also a face of the protesters for the news media, where he was sharply critical of the university, stepping confidently up to banks of microphones where reporters from CNN, Spectrum News NY1, The Associated Press and The New York Times and elsewhere recorded him confronting the school that had brought him to New York.

“It’s very clear the university does not want to criticize Israel in any way,” Mr. Khalil told a gaggle of journalists gathered near the encampment last spring.

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On another occasion, at a discussion sponsored by the coalition of student protesters, he remarked that whether Palestinian resistance was peaceful or armed, “Israel and their propaganda always find something to attack.” He added, “They — we — have tried armed resistance, which is, again, legitimate under international law.” But Israel calls it terrorism, he said.

Those comments were highlighted as justifying terrorism by pro-Israel activists on a webpage about Mr. Khalil that had been compiled by Canary Mission, a group that says it fights hatred of Jews on college campuses and that pro-Palestinian protesters say has doxxed them.

Still, Mr. Khalil repeatedly told friends, as he had his wife, that he saw no reason to wear a mask. What were they going to do to me? he asked.

Once, when the number of tents rose to more than 100, including on a second lawn near the School of Journalism, administrators turned to Mr. Khalil. They made him an offer: Remove about 20 tents, they said, and we’ll ensure that the university’s trustees continue to discuss your demands.

Mr. Khalil countered, agreeing to remove a few less than the administrators wanted, according to one administrator present at those talks, who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss private university negotiations.

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Within minutes, 17 tents vanished and the second lawn was emptied. This response burnished Mr. Khalil’s reputation as a good-faith, if demanding, negotiator.

Other times, he stood fast. Late in the protests, when the university offered concessions and the threat of the police arriving to clear out demonstrators was looming, Mr. Khalil pushed back. We don’t want your concessions. The police? Let them come.

Then they did.

After a faction of protesters took over Hamilton Hall, a campus building, on April 30, barricading doors and trapping custodians inside, scores of police officers descended on the university. They arrested dozens of pro-Palestinian demonstrators and cleared the hall.

Mr. Khalil was not accused of being in the hall. He had been suspended by the university just before the building takeover, accused of refusing to leave the encampment, along with many other pro-Palestinian activists, and then was quickly reinstated. But there were no more negotiations, and the protests ended for a time.

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Columbia slowly ceased being the global flashpoint for campus unrest. Mr. Khalil focused on finishing his courses and looking for work after graduation.

He and Ms. Abdalla married, and he obtained a green card, giving him permanent residency in the United States.

Last summer, the couple learned that they were having a baby. Mr. Khalil was excited, his friends said, getting their apartment ready even as the couple looked ahead toward moving after he earned his degree.

“He did everything, basically,” Ms. Abdalla, now eight months pregnant, said. “He did all the cooking, he did all the cleaning. He did the laundry. He wouldn’t let me touch anything.”

He finished his coursework for his master’s degree from the School of International and Public Affairs in December. But he remained aware of protests still bubbling up at Columbia and at Barnard College, across Broadway.

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In January, protesters stormed into a Columbia classroom, and two Barnard students were later expelled that month for their roles that day. It was a flashback to the turmoil of the previous spring. While Mr. Khalil was not present, he was soon drawn back in.

Days later, President Trump, newly inaugurated, issued an executive order promising to combat antisemitism and prosecute or “remove” perpetrators of such views.

The same night, an X account of a Zionist group singled out Mr. Khalil. It accused him, without evidence, of saying that “Zionists don’t deserve to live,” and said that the federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency had his home address. “He’s on our deport list,” the post said.

It included a video of Mr. Khalil speaking in a CNN interview, during which he made no such statement. Mr. Khalil has said he had “unequivocally” never spoken those words — another student had, and was expelled.

Mr. Khalil saw himself and other student protesters as victims of doxxing, finding their personal information spread on social media. On Jan. 31, he emailed Columbia administrators asking for protection for international students, such as himself, who he said were facing “severe and pervasive doxxing, discriminatory harassment and very possibly deportation.” A Columbia spokeswoman declined to comment on communications from Mr. Khalil.

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Jasmine Sarryeh, a close friend, tried to allay his concerns and told him he would never be deported. Now she feels like she let him down.

“I didn’t think to expect that this would happen,” she said in a recent interview.

On March 5, in response to the expulsion of the Barnard students in January, protesters dressed in kaffiyehs and wearing masks descended upon the college’s library. It was a Wednesday, and Mr. Khalil turned from his baby preparations and attended as well, maskless again.

It was the beginning of a four-day stretch that would end with Mr. Khalil in federal detention.

Videos on social media depict him at the library holding a megaphone — and, at one point, using it to amplify the Barnard president, who is speaking over a cellphone. When the protesters are asked if they want to speak with the president, Laura Rosenbury, Mr. Khalil gives them an encouraging thumbs up. They respond in unison: “Yes!”

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Critics of the protests immediately began posting videos and images of Mr. Khalil on X, calling him out by name.

One post included an image of his face circled in red with the label “Suspected Foreign National.”

Then, Shai Davidai, an Israeli Jew and Columbia professor banned from campus in October after he was accused of harassing employees, reposted that image and tagged another X account. It belonged to Marco Rubio, the secretary of state, who had just posted a threat to deport Hamas supporters.

“Illegally taking over a college in which you are not even enrolled and distributing terrorist propaganda should be a deportable offense, no?” Mr. Davidai wrote.

Separately, Shirion Collective, a group that says it exposes antisemitism, has said that it sent the Department of Homeland Security a legal memorandum advising the “detention and removal” of Mr. Khalil.

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Mr. Khalil saw some of the posts online and panicked. He was being singled out for deportation directly to the very official with the power to set that process in motion.

On Friday, March 7, he again wrote to Columbia administrators and described a “vicious, coordinated and dehumanizing doxxing campaign” against him.

“I haven’t been able to sleep, fearing that ICE or a dangerous individual might come to my home,” he wrote.

That fear would be realized the next day.

Mr. Khalil and his wife were out with friends on Saturday night, March 8. When they returned to their Columbia apartment, a man in plain clothes pushed into the lobby behind them. Ms. Abdalla felt her husband tense.

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“He knew something was wrong,” she said.

I’m with the police, the man said. You have to come with us. More officers arrived in the lobby. Ms. Abdalla hurried up to their apartment to get her husband’s green card. She reminded the officers that he was a permanent citizen.

“‘This guy has a green card,’” she heard the officer say on his phone. “And then the guy on the phone with him told him, ‘Let’s bring him in anyway.’”

In a video recording of the arrest, she is heard asking the officers repeatedly to identify themselves and to specify what charges her husband was facing. She rushes after the officers into the street as they ignore her questions.

It remains unclear what exactly Mr. Khalil is believed to have done. He is accused by the White House and others of organizing protests, such as the one in the Barnard library, where participants distributed fliers promoting Hamas. A flier that was shown in online postings from the library said it had been produced by the “Hamas Media Office.” It was titled “Our Narrative” and listed Hamas’s code name for the Oct. 7 attacks, with an image of fighters standing on a tank. It is unclear whether Mr. Khalil knew the fliers were there.

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“I can wholeheartedly say that I know that he did not touch those fliers,” said Mr. Khalil’s friend, Maryam Alwan. “But just because he had his face out, people are trying to pin everything on him.”

His lawyers also denied that he had distributed the fliers at Barnard.

Mr. Waller, his former colleague in Lebanon, said the depictions of Mr. Khalil that he had seen in the news media did not line up with the friend he knew.

“The idea that he’s somehow a political extremist or a sympathizer with terrorist groups or whatever just sounds totally outlandish,” he said. “If you know him and you know his character, it just feels like a sort of obvious smear.”

There are circumstances in which permanent residency status in the United States can be revoked — if, for example, the resident is convicted of a crime. But Mr. Khalil has not been accused of any crime. Instead, Secretary Rubio has cited a little-used statute as the rationale for Mr. Khalil’s detention. The law says that the government can initiate deportation proceedings against anyone whose presence in the country is deemed adversarial to the United States’ foreign policy interests.

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Mr. Davidai, the professor who tweeted the photo at Secretary Rubio, said in an interview that he believed Mr. Khalil was entitled to due process under the law. But, he added, it does not so much matter whether Mr. Khalil personally handled fliers promoting terrorists, if the group he represented did.

“When you lead an organization, you are accountable for your organization’s actions,” Mr. Davidai said. “When you lead an organization that openly and proudly supports a U.S. designated terrorist organization, you are accountable to the spreading of propaganda.”

Mr. Khalil has said he was never the planner and leader of the pro-Palestinian protests; he has consistently described himself as a spokesman and negotiator for a coalition of student groups.

Resolving this was not the job of the agents who came to his lobby that Saturday night. They handcuffed Mr. Khalil, led him to a car waiting outside and drove him away.

Katherine Rosman, Sharon Otterman, Jonah E. Bromwich and Michael LaForgia contributed reporting. Kirsten Noyes contributed research.

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Essential New York City Movies Picked by Ira Sachs and Blondie’s Debbie Harry and Chris Stein

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Essential New York City Movies Picked by Ira Sachs and Blondie’s Debbie Harry and Chris Stein

Film

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Leo McCarey’s “Make Way for Tomorrow” (1937). The Criterion Collection

‘Make Way for Tomorrow’ (1937), directed by Leo McCarey

The log line: After the bank forecloses on their home, an elderly couple must separate, each living with a different one of their adult children. 

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The pitch: “It’s a film that Orson Welles famously said ‘would make a stone cry,’” says Sachs, 60, about McCarey’s movie, singling out a long sequence at the end that depicts “a date through certain lobbies and bars of New York City that offers a snapshot of Midtown in the ’30s.” 

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Tippy Walker (left) and Merrie Spaeth in George Roy Hill’s “The World of Henry Orient” (1964). United Artists/Photofest

‘The World of Henry Orient’ (1964), directed by George Roy Hill

The log line: A wily 14-year-old girl and her best friend follow a ridiculous concert pianist, on whom they have a crush, around the city.

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The pitch: Hill’s 1960s romp inspired Sachs’s film “Little Men” (2016), which is about boys around the same age as these protagonists. “It’s an extraordinarily sweet film that also seems, to me, very honest,” he says. 

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Rip Torn (left) in Milton Moses Ginsberg’s “Coming Apart” (1969). Courtesy of the Everett Collection

‘Coming Apart’ (1969), directed by Milton Moses Ginsberg

The log line: Rip Torn plays an obsessive psychiatrist who secretly films all the women passing through his home office, inadvertently capturing his own mental breakdown. 

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The pitch: Shot in one room with a fixed camera, Ginsberg’s film “really feels of a time,” says Sachs. It’s also “very sexual and very free,” reminding him of what’s possible when it comes to making movies. 

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Don Murray and Diahn Williams in Ivan Nagy’s “Deadly Hero” (1975). Courtesy of the Everett Collection

‘Deadly Hero’ (1975), directed by Ivan Nagy

The log line: A disturbed, racist cop saves a cellist from a crook, only to become her tormentor. 

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The pitch: Harry, 80, and Stein, 76, were extras in Nagy’s film, which stars Don Murray, Diahn Williams and James Earl Jones as the cop, the cellist and the crook, respectively. The pair call the movie “[expletive] weird,” but also say that their day rate — $300 — “was the most money we’d ever made on anything” up to that point.

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Chantal Akerman’s “News From Home” (1976). Collections Cinematek © Fondation Chantal Akerman

‘News From Home’ (1976), directed by Chantal Akerman

The log line: An experimental documentary by Akerman, a Belgian filmmaker who moved to New York in her early 20s, the film features long takes of the city and voice-over in which the director reads letters from her mother. 

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The pitch: “I’m intrigued by how beauty contains sadness in the city,” says Sachs. Not only is her film a “beautiful record of the city” but it captures “what it is to be alone here, to have left some sort of community and, in particular for Chantal, separated from her mother.”

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Michael Wadleigh’s “Wolfen” (1981). Orion/Courtesy of the Everett Collection

‘Wolfen’ (1981), directed by Michael Wadleigh

The log line: Albert Finney stars as a former N.Y.P.D. detective who returns to the job to solve a violent and bizarre string of murders. 

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The pitch: Wadleigh’s film is not only a vehicle for Finney, says Stein, it also “has a lot of footage from the South Bronx when it was still completely destroyed” by widespread arson in the 1970s.

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Seret Scott in Kathleen Collins’s “Losing Ground” (1982).

‘Losing Ground’ (1982), directed by Kathleen Collins

The log line: Collins’s film — the first feature-length drama for a major studio directed by an African American woman — observes a rocky relationship between a college professor and her painter husband.

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The pitch: Sachs calls “Losing Ground” “a revelation.” The characters are “so human and fascinating and extremely modern,” he says, adding that he loves a movie that “exists in some very complete version of the local.”

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Griffin Dunne in Martin Scorsese’s “After Hours” (1985). Mary Evans/Ronald Grant/Everett Collection

‘After Hours’ (1985), directed by Martin Scorsese

The log line: In Scorsese’s black comedy, an office worker (Griffin Dunne) has a surreal and bizarre evening of misadventure while trying to get back uptown from a woman’s apartment in SoHo. 

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The pitch: Harry and Stein recommend this zany tale and borderline “nightmare” for the way it captures a bygone era of New York. “It’s this great image of [Lower Manhattan] when it was still raw, you know, Wild West territory,” Stein says. 

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A scene from Edo Bertoglio’s “Downtown 81” (1980-81/2000). Courtesy of Metrograph Pictures

‘Downtown 81’ (shot in 1980-81, released in 2000), directed by Edo Bertoglio

The log line: Bertoglio’s film is a striking portrait of a young artist who needs to raise money so he can return to the apartment from which he’s been evicted. 

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The pitch: Jean-Michel Basquiat stars as the artist in this snapshot of life in New York during the ’80s. Despite all the drama surrounding it — postproduction wasn’t completed until 20 years after filming, and for many years the movie was considered lost — the film is notable, says Stein, because “it’s got all the characters and all our buddies in it.”

These interviews have been edited and condensed.

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13 Actors You Should Never Miss on the New York Stage

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13 Actors You Should Never Miss on the New York Stage

Theater

Quincy Tyler Bernstine

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A master of active stillness, the 52-year-old Bernstine (imposing in the 2024 revival of John Patrick Shanley’s “Doubt,” above) has that great actorly gift of making thought visible. A natural leader onstage, she compels audiences to follow her.

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Victoria Clark

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One of the theater’s best singing actors, with Tonys for Adam Guettel and Craig Lucas’s “The Light in the Piazza” (2005) and David Lindsay-Abaire and Jeanine Tesori’s “Kimberly Akimbo” (above, 2022), Clark, 66, performs not on top of the notes but through them, delivering complicated characterization and gorgeous sound in each breath.

Susannah Flood

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Flood, 43, is a true expert at confusion, a good thing because she often plays characters like the twisted-in-knots Lizzie in Bess Wohl’s “Liberation” (above, 2025). What makes that confusion thrilling is how she grounds it not in a lack of information or purpose but, just like real life, in an excess of both.

Jonathan Groff

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The rare musical theater man with the unstoppable drive of a diva, Groff, 41, sweats charisma, as audience members in ringside seats at Warren Leight and Isaac Oliver’s Broadway musical “Just in Time” (above, 2025) recently discovered. Giving you everything, he makes you want more.

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William Jackson Harper

Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

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Unmoored characters are often unsympathetic. But whether playing a confused doctor in the 2024 revival of Anton Chekhov’s “Uncle Vanya” or a delusional bookstore clerk in Eboni Booth’s “Primary Trust” (above, 2023), Harper, 46, makes vulnerability look easy, and hurt hard.

Joshua Henry

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There are singers who blow the roof off theaters, but the 41-year-old Henry’s voice is so huge and deeply connected to universal feelings that he seems to be singing inside you. Currently starring in the Broadway revival of “Ragtime” (above, by Lynn Ahrens, Stephen Flaherty and Terrence McNally), he blows the roof off your head.

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Mia Katigbak

Superb and acidic in almost any role — in distress (Annie Baker’s 2023 “Infinite Life,” above) or in command (2024’s “Uncle Vanya”) — Katigbak, 71, finds the sweet spot in even the sourest truths of the human condition.

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Judy Kuhn

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With detailed intelligence and specific intention informing everything she sings, Kuhn, 67, is (among other things) a Stephen Sondheim specialist — her take on Fosca in “Passion” (above, 2012) was almost literally wrenching. It requires intellectual stamina to keep up with the master word for word.

Laurie Metcalf

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

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The fierce, sharp persona you may know from her years on “Roseanne” (1988-97) is about a tenth of the blistering commitment Metcalf, 70, offers onstage in works like Samuel D. Hunter’s “Little Bear Ridge Road” (above, 2025). She goes there, no matter the destination.

Deirdre O’Connell

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For 40 years an Off Broadway treasure, O’Connell, 72, handles the most daring, out-there material — including, recently, a 12-minute monologue of cataclysmic gibberish in Caryl Churchill’s “Kill” (above, 2025) — as if it were as ordinary as barroom gossip.

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Conrad Ricamora

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Revealing the Buddy Holly in Benigno Aquino Jr. (in the 2023 Broadway production of David Byrne and Fatboy Slim’s “Here Lies Love”) or the queer wolf in Abraham Lincoln (in Cole Escola’s “Oh, Mary!,” above, last year), Ricamora, 47, is uniquely capable of great dignity and great silliness — and, wonderfully, both together.

Andrew Scott

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

It’s a tough competition, but Scott, 49, may have the thinnest skin of any actor. Whether he’s onstage (playing all the characters in Simon Stephens’s Off Broadway “Vanya,” above, in 2025) or on film, every emotion — especially rue — reads right through his translucence.

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Michael Patrick Thornton

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Some actors are hedgehogs, projecting one idea blazingly. Thornton, 47, is a fox, carefully hoarding ideas and motivations. Keeping you guessing as Jessica Chastain’s benefactor in the 2023 revival of Henrik Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House” or as a pathetic lackey in last year’s production of Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot” (above, center), he holds you in his thrall.

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How a Geologist Lives on $200,000 in Bushwick, Brooklyn

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How a Geologist Lives on 0,000 in Bushwick, Brooklyn

How can people possibly afford to live in one of the most expensive cities on the planet? It’s a question New Yorkers hear a lot, often delivered with a mix of awe, pity and confusion.

We surveyed hundreds of New Yorkers about how they spend, splurge and save. We found that many people — rich, poor or somewhere in between — live life as a series of small calculations that add up to one big question: What makes living in New York worth it?

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Here’s one way to make New York more affordable: triple your income. After moving from Baton Rouge, La., in 2016 to attend graduate school, Daniel Babin lived mostly on red beans and rice or homemade “slop pots,” renting rooms in what he called a “cult house” and a building on a block his girlfriend was afraid to visit.

Then, in January, he got a job as a geologist with a mineral exploration company, with a salary of $200,000, plus a $15,000 signing bonus. A new city suddenly opened up to him. “I can take a woman out on a $300 dinner date and not look at the check and not feel bad about it,” he said. He also now has health insurance.

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Mr. Babin, 32, a marine geologist who also leads an acoustic string band, now navigates two economic worlds, one shaped to his postdoctoral income of $70,000 a year — when his idea of a date was a walk in Central Park — and the other reflecting his new income. In this world, he is shopping for a vintage Martin Dreadnought guitar, for which he will gladly drop $4,000.

Finding a New Base Line

On a recent morning at Mr. Babin’s home in Bushwick, Brooklyn, where he shares a 6,800-square-foot cohousing space with 17 roommates, he was still figuring out how to manage this split.

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Daniel Babin lives in a cohousing space modeled on the ethos of Burning Man, the annual arts festival in Nevada.

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“I’m feeling less inclined to just let it rip than I was a few months ago,” he said of his spending habits. He socks away $1,500 from each paycheck, and has not moved to replace his 2003 Toyota Corolla, an “absolute dump” given to him by his father. “Hopefully, I’m returning a little bit to some kind of base-line lifestyle that I’ve established for myself over the last five years,” he continued. “Because the fear is lifestyle inflation. You don’t want to just make more money to spend more money. That’s not the point, right?”

Lightning Lofts, the cohousing space where Mr. Babin has lived since January 2024, bills itself as part of a “social wellness movement” and seeks to continue the ethos of Burning Man, the annual communal art and cultural festival in the Nevada desert.

For a room with an elevated loft bed and use of common areas, Mr. Babin pays $1,400 a month in rent, plus another $250 for utilities and weekly housecleaning.

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He was first drawn to the organization through its events, including open mic “salons” where he played music or read from his science fiction writings. These were free or very cheap nights out, unpredictable and fascinating.

“You would see dance and tonal singing, and some dude wrote an algorithm that can auto-generate A.I. video based on what you’re saying — beautiful storytelling,” he said.

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“So I just showed up every month, basically, until they let me live here.”

The room was a good deal. He had looked at a nearby building where the rent was $1,900 for a room in a basement apartment that flooded once a month. “Ridiculous,” he said.

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But beyond its financial appeal, Mr. Babin liked the loft’s social life. “I used to be chronically lonely, and I just don’t feel lonely anymore,” he said. “Which is fantastic in a crazy place like New York. It’s so alive and it’s so isolating at the same time.”

Splurging on Ski Trips

Before Mr. Babin got his new job, he used to go to restaurants with friends and not eat, trying to save up $35 for a “burner” party — in the spirit of Burning Man — or Ecstatic Dance, a recurring substance-free dance party. He loved to ski but could not afford a hotel, so he would carry his old skis and beat-up boots to southern Vermont and back on the same day.

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“Going on a hike is a pretty cheap hobby,” he said, recalling his money-saving measures. “Living without health insurance is a good one.”

He still appreciates a good hike, he said. But on a recent ski trip, he splurged on new $700 boots and another $300 worth of gear. “I’m like, this is something I’ve wanted for 10 years, so I deserve it,” he said.

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He bought a $600 drone to take pictures for his social media accounts, and then promptly crashed it into the Caribbean (he’s now replacing the rotors in hopes of returning it to health).

He cut out the red beans and rice, he said, but his usual meal is still a modest $13 sandwich from the nearby bodega or $10 for pizza. “If I’m getting takeout and it’s less than $17, I don’t feel too bad about it,” he said.

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A Future After Cohousing

A big change is that dating is much more comfortable now, and he feels more attractive as a marriage prospect. “It turns out that a lot more people pay attention to you if you offer them dinner instead of a walk in the park,” he said.

He is now thinking of leaving the cohousing space — not just because he can afford to, but because his work has kept him from joining house events, like the regular potluck dinners. “I sometimes feel like a bad roommate, because part of being here is participating,” he said. “I feel like there might be someone who would enjoy the community aspect more than I’m capable of contributing right now.”

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He sounds almost wistful in discussing his former economizing. If it weren’t for the dating issue, he said, he would not need the higher income or lifestyle upgrades. “I never really felt like I was compromising on what I wanted to do,” he said.

He paused. “It’s just that what I was comfortable with has changed a little bit.”

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