Lifestyle
Yikes! You’re stuck in a situationship. When to stick around or get out
Meagan Culberson, 32, was on a third date with a guy she met on Hinge when she decided it was time to ask him a make-or-break question: What are you looking for?
They’d gone on fun dates and she was interested in getting to know him better, but only if they were on the same page. She wanted a long-term relationship.
When she broached the conversation with him, he told her that he wanted to “go with the flow” — in other words, he wasn’t dating with intention like she was.
Dating in Los Angeles can be messy. In “Date Cute” we’ll explore common dating problems and provide tips on how to date better.
“It was kind of like an epiphany,” says Culberson, the founder of Single Girls Club, a Los Angeles-based lifestyle brand that advocates for the empowerment of single women. Now knowing that they each had different goals, she was left with two options: 1) continue dating him and see where things went, or 2) end it before she got hurt.
In her 20s, Culberson had been through situationships — a term for a romantic or intimate connection that mirrors a relationship but lacks commitment — and they caused her a lot of confusion and pain. She had done a lot of self-reflection since then and knew she didn’t want to end up in another one, so she decided to cut things off with the guy.
“It was really hard,” she says, adding that she was starting to like him. “But if I had stepped back into those old patterns, all of that healing that I’d done would’ve just been a waste.”
Although situationships have probably been around since the beginning of time, these undefined entanglements — ones that fall in the murky, gray area between a defined relationship and casual dating — seem to have become more common with the rise of dating apps, hookup culture and the broadening of traditional relationship dynamics (i.e. non-monogamy, polyamory, etc.), relationships experts say.
“When [a situationship] becomes toxic and it’s hurting your mental and possibly physical health, then you have to figure out a way to get out of that situation.”
— Denise Brady, a marriage and family therapist
A recent YouGov survey, which polled more than 1,000 U.S. adults, found that 39% of people had been in a situationship before, and of people between the ages of 18 to 34, that number increases to 50%.
In a 2022 report, Tinder declared “situationships” a top trend and reported a 49% increase in members adding the phrase to their bios with young singles saying they “prefer situationships as a way to develop a relationship with less pressure.” Also, after 34% of Hinge users reported falling into a situationship in 2022, the app added a feature called “Dating Intentions” so daters could indicate upfront what they were looking for (i.e. life partner, short-term relationship, figuring out my relationship goals, etc.). Tinder and Bumble offer a similar feature.
So why does it seem like more people are getting into situationships? One answer is exhaustion, says Denise Brady, a marriage and family therapist based in Long Beach. “[Some people] just feel like ‘Man, I’ve been through this so many times, I really don’t want to put myself out there, so at least I have my sexual needs met, maybe not my emotional needs, but this situationship is working for me,’” she says.
Though these unclear connections tend to get a bad reputation, relationship experts say they aren’t inherently good or bad. For some people, a situationship can provide exactly what they need at a certain time in their life, and can be mutually fulfilling as long as both parties are on the same page and one person isn’t abandoning their true wants.
“But when it becomes toxic and it’s hurting your mental and possibly physical health, then you have to figure out a way to get out of that situation,” says Brady.
Given that situationships often mirror full-fledged relationships, it can be difficult to break free from them. If you’ve found yourself in one and you want to end it, here’s what relationship experts say you should do.
Be honest with yourself
Whether you were initially OK with not having a title or you’ve been secretly holding out hope that the other person would eventually want a relationship, experts say it’s completely normal — and OK — to change your mind about what you want.
“You’ve got to know how you feel,” says Patrick Yao, a marriage and family therapy trainee at Pelican Cove. “Let’s make sure first and foremost that you’re taking care of yourself, so you can make a comfortable, healthy decision.”
Yao recommends reflecting on these questions:
- How do you feel when you’re with the person? (I.e. Do you feel safe? Distant? Supported? Respected? A lack of engagement?)
- What are you like when you’re not with the person?
- Do you share the same relationship goals? Are you looking for something more?
Speak up
Once you’ve gotten clear about your dating goals, Sara Stanizai, a marriage and family therapist based in Long Beach, suggests having a conversation with the person you’ve been seeing to get clarity on what they want — and then you can decide if that works for you. However, she warns that “you should be prepared to lose the relationship as you know it.”
Start the conversation by explaining what you desire (e.g., a committed relationship), but don’t blame the person or give any ultimatums, Stanizai says.
“That way, not only are you respecting the other person and only speaking for yourself, but it is also harder to dispute or argue your points,” she says. For example, if you tell someone that you aren’t getting what you need out of the situationship, it’s tough to have a rebuttal.
But it’s also fine if you don’t want to have a formal chat about it, Brady says. “Sometimes those conversations make it harder” to walk away.
In that case, she recommends cutting things off with the person and going no contact, or slowly decreasing your communication with them over time. (Pro tip: It’s also helpful to have an accountability friend whom you can text when you feel an urge to reach out to the person you’ve been dating, she says.)
Take time to heal
Though situationships lack titles, it doesn’t mean they hurt any less when they come to an end. In fact, some people argue that these entanglements are just as — and sometimes more — painful than an official relationship.
“You don’t have clarity within situationships to start that [healing] process, so that’s why some people feel like they’re stuck in limbo,” Yao says. “It gets into this prolonged emotional distress.”
Therefore, it’s crucial to give yourself the same amount of time, space and grace to heal from a situationship as you would an official relationship. (Reminder: Friends and family, if you know someone going through this, please don’t belittle their feelings just because they didn’t have a title.)
Be kind to yourself, says Culberson, and remember that “you are worthy of what you desire.”
P.S. If you need some extra encouragement or commiseration, check out the situationship-inspired playlist that our readers helped us curate:
A recently installed sign at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., as photographed on Jan. 10. The center’s name change has not been approved by Congress.
Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images
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Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images
Two senior staffers have departed the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C. — one of whom was officially on the job for less than two weeks.
Kevin Couch had been announced as the Kennedy Center’s new senior vice president of artistic planning on Jan. 16, at which point he was hailed as a “visionary entertainment leader” with “over two decades of experience in artist management, global booking and high-level brand partnerships,” including booking live events in San Antonio, Tulsa, Little Rock and Springfield, Mo.
Couch, who is a drummer, confirmed to NPR on Wednesday evening that he had resigned from the federally funded center, but declined to share any details.
Meanwhile, the Kennedy Center’s senior director of artistic operations, Sarah Kramer, confirmed to NPR on Wednesday evening that she had been fired after a decade working there.
The Kennedy Center did not respond to NPR’s multiple requests for comment.
Since President Trump became chair of the performing arts complex and later moved to change its name to the Trump Kennedy Center, several prominent artists have canceled their planned performances and presentations of their work. Cancellations announced this month include the composer Philip Glass, opera star Renée Fleming, the banjo player Bela Fleck and the Seattle Children’s Theatre. The Kennedy Center has told NPR in prior statements that the artists cancelling have been doing so under pressure from “leftist activists.”
The center’s name change did not receive the required approval from Congress. Last month, Rep. Joyce Beatty (D-Ohio), an ex-officio member of the Kennedy Center’s board, filed a lawsuit against President Trump, the center’s president Richard Grenell, and others over the name change.
Jennifer Vanasco edited this story.
Lifestyle
‘No lines and big, wide-open runs’: This woodsy ski town is like Mammoth without the crowds
You are a beginning or intermediate skier, allergic to long lift lines, more interested in peace and quiet than après-ski action. Or you have young kids, ripe for introduction to skiing or snowboarding. Or you simply want a rustic mountain getaway, one where you can amble through a woodsy little village with zero Starbucks.
These traits make you a good candidate for June Lake, the eastern Sierra town that lives most of its life in the shadow of bigger, busier Mammoth Lakes.
“It’s way family-friendlier than Mammoth,” said Daniel Jones after a day of June Lake snowboarding with Lorena Alvarado and children Gabriela Gonzales, 7, and Amirah Jones, 2. They had come from Riverside, a first-time visit for the kids.
After a day of snowboarding at June Mountain, Daniel Jones and Lorena Alvarado of Riverside head for the parking lot with children Gabriela Gonzalez, 7, and Amirah Jones, 2.
(Christopher Reynolds / Los Angeles Times)
Like me, they’d arrived in time to savor the sight of the Sierra under all the snow that fell in late December. That storm knocked out power for several days, but led to the opening of all the trails on June Mountain, the town’s ski resort.
The main road to June Lake is the 14-mile June Lake Loop, a.k.a. State Route 158, which branches off from U.S. 395 about 10 miles north of the exit for Mammoth, roughly 320 miles north of Los Angeles.
Once you leave 395, things get rustic quickly. The two-lane loop threads its way among forests and A-frames and cabins, skirting the waters of June Lake and the lake’s village, which is only a few blocks long. Check out the three-foot icicles dripping from the eaves and keep an eye out for the big boulder by the fire station on the right.
After the village, you pass Gull Lake (the tiniest of the four lakes along the loop) and the June Mountain ski area. Then, if you’re driving in summer, the road loops back to 395 by way of Silver Lake and Grant Lake.
The June Lake area in the eastern Sierra includes several bodies of water. Rush Creek, seen here, feeds into Silver Lake a few miles from the village of June Lake.
(Christopher Reynolds / Los Angeles Times)
But in winter, the northern part of that loop is closed to cars, Maybe this is why the village, mountain and environs so often feel like a snowbound secret.
As for the June Mountain ski area, its 1,500 accessible acres make it much smaller than Mammoth Mountain (with whom it shares a corporate parent). And it has a larger share of beginner and intermediate runs — a drag for hotshots, maybe, but a boon for families.
By management’s estimate, June Mountain’s 41 named trails are 15% beginner level and 40% intermediate. (At Mammoth, 59% of 180 named trails are rated difficult, very difficult or extremely difficult.) Leaning into this difference, June Mountain offers free lift tickets to children 12 and under. (Adult lift tickets are typically $119-$179 per day.)
From the chairlifts at June Mountain ski resort, visitors get broad views.
(Christopher Reynolds / Los Angeles Times)
The ski area is served by six chairlifts, and just about everyone begins by riding chair J1 up to the June Meadows Chalet (8,695 feet above sea level). That’s where the cafeteria, rental equipment, lockers and shop are found and lessons begin.
That’s also where you begin to notice the view, especially the 10,908-foot Carson Peak.
“Usually, me and my family go to Big Bear every year, but we wanted to try something different. Less people. And a lot of snow,” said Valeriia Ivanchenko, a 20-year-old snowboarder who was taking a breather outside the chalet.
“No lines and lots of big, wide-open runs,” said Brian Roehl, who had come from Sacramento with his wife.
“The lake views are nice, too,” said Roxie Roehl.
June Lake is a 30-minute drive from Mammoth. Because both operations are owned by Denver-based Alterra Mountain Co., Mammoth lift tickets are generally applicable at June. So it’s easy to combine destinations.
Or you could just focus on June Lake, an unincorporated community with about 600 people, one K-8 public school and one gas station (the Shell station where 158 meets 395).
In summer, when it’s busiest, fishers and boaters head for the lakes and you can reach Yosemite National‘s eastern entrance with a 25-mile drive via the seasonal Tioga Road.
The Tiger Bar has anchored June Lake’s downtown since 1932.
(Christopher Reynolds / Los Angeles Times)
In winter and summer alike, the heart of June Lake‘s village is dominated by the 94-year-old Tiger Bar & Café (which was due to be taken over by new owners in January); Ernie’s Tackle & Ski Shop (which goes back to 1932 and has lower rental prices than those at June Mountain); the June Lake General Store and June Lake Brewing.
At the brewery — JLB to locals — I found Natalie and Chris Garcia of Santa Barbara and their daughter Winnie, 18 months old and eager to chase down a duck on the patio.
“This is her first snow,” Natalie Garcia said, adding that June Lake “just feels more down-home … less of a party scene.”
“We built a snowman,” said Chris Garcia.
Natalie and Chris Garcia of Santa Barbara play with their daughter, Winnie, and a duck at June Lake Brewing.
(Christopher Reynolds / Los Angeles Times)
It’s fun to imagine that rustic, semi-remote places like this never change, but of course they do, for better and worse. The Carson Peak Inn steakhouse, a longtime landmark, is closed indefinitely. Meanwhile, Pino Pies, which offers New Zealand-style meat pies, opened in the village last spring. (I recommend the $13 potato-top pie.)
Pino Pies, open since 2025 in June Lake, offers New Zealand-style meat pies.
(Christopher Reynolds / Los Angeles Times)
Next time I’m in town I hope to try the June Deli (which took over the former Epic Cafe space in the village last year) and the June Pie Pizza Co. (New York-style thin crusts) or the Balanced Rock Grill & Cantina. And I might make a day trip to Mono Lake (about 15 miles north).
I might also repeat the two hikes I did in the snow.
For one, I put crampons on my boots and headed about 3 miles south on U.S. 395 to the Obsidian Dome Trail, a mostly flat route of just under a mile — great for snowshoes or walking dogs.
For the other hike, I headed to the closed portion of June Lake Loop and parked just short of the barricade. Beyond it, a hiker or snowshoer finds several miles of carless, unplowed path, with mountains rising to your left and half-frozen Rush Creek and Silver Lake to the right.
When part of Highway 158 closes to auto traffic in winter, hikers and snowshoers inherit a broad, mostly flat path with views of Silver Lake.
(Christopher Reynolds / Los Angeles Times)
“You get up to the lake and you hear the ice cracking. It’s wonderful,” said Mike Webb, 73, whom I met on the trail with his son, Randy, 46, and Randy’s 10-year-old and 12-year-old.
“This is serenity up here,” said Webb. “If you’re looking for a $102 pizza, go to Mammoth.”
Philadelphia (1993)
Library of Congress
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Library of Congress
Two actors received double recognition when the Library of Congress announced its most recent additions to the National Film Registry, a collection of classic films intended to highlight film preservation efforts and the depth and breadth of American film.
Bing Crosby, the popular midcentury crooner, starred in White Christmas (1954) and High Society (1956). And Denzel Washington starred in Glory (1989) and Philadelphia (1993), all now part of the registry’s roundup of the country’s most culturally significant films.
Created in 1988, the National Film Registry adds 25 films every year. New additions are usually announced in December of each calendar year. The Library of Congress did not explain why its 2025 films were announced in 2026.
Half a dozen silent films were added to the registry, more than usual. Many of them were recently discovered or restored. The oldest, The Tramp and the Dog (1896), is an early example of “pants humor,” which comes from the fun of watching people lose theirs. It is likely the first commercial film made in Chicago. The Oath of the Sword (1914) is the earliest known Asian American film, about a Japanese student in California yearning for his beloved back home.
Other newly added silent films include the first student film on record, made in 1916 at Washington University in St Louis, Mo. and Ten Nights in a Barroom (1926), a melodrama with an all-Black cast, one of only two surviving films made by the Colored Player Film Corporation of Philadelphia.
Four documentaries were added to the collection, including Ken Burns’ first major documentary, The Brooklyn Bridge (1981).
Widely familiar additions include one Boomer classic – The Big Chill (1983) – and several Gen X ones: Before Sunrise (1995), Clueless (1995) and The Karate Kid (1984.)
The Karate Kid (1984).
Library of Congress
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Library of Congress
“I’m amazingly proud,” star Ralph Macchio told the Library of Congress in an interview. “The National Film Registry and film preservation are so important because it keeps the integrity of cinema alive for multiple generations.”
Other contemporary movies added to the registry include The Truman Show (1998), Frida (2002), The Incredibles (2004) and The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014), set in an Alpine resort in the 1930s. Director Wes Anderson credited the Library of Congress for inspiring the movie’s distinct visual style.
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
Library of Congress
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Library of Congress
“When we were first starting to try to figure out, how do we tell this story… the architecture and the landscapes… they don’t exist anymore,” Andserson said in a statement, explaining that he started his research in the Library of Congress “We just went through the entire photocrom collection, which is a lot of images. And …we made our own versions of things, but much of what is in our film comes directly – with our little twist on it – from that collection, from the library, the Library of Congress.”
The entire list of movies added to the National Film Registry for 2025 follows in chronological order.
• The Tramp and the Dog (1896)
• The Oath of the Sword (1914)
• The Maid of McMillan (1916)
• The Lady (1925)
• Sparrows (1926)
• Ten Nights in a Barroom (1926)
• White Christmas (1954)
• High Society (1956)
• Brooklyn Bridge (1981)
• Say Amen, Somebody (1982)
• The Thing (1982)
• The Big Chill (1983)
• The Karate Kid (1984)
• Glory (1989)
• Philadelphia (1993)
• Before Sunrise (1995)
• Clueless (1995)
• The Truman Show (1998)
• Frida (2002)
• The Hours (2002)
• The Incredibles (2004)
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