World
Filmmaker Couple Asks Themselves ‘Why the F*** Am I So Sad?’ to Reclaim the Narrative of Childlessness
After 14 years together, editor Nela Märki and cinematographer-producer Martin Rattini locate a kernel of sadness in a shared life they describe as happy: they have not been able to have children. Grief and love inform the couple’s first feature—they share directors’ credits—with the title “Why the F*** Am I So Sad?,” which documents their changing relationship to childlessness.
Their documentary project was pitched earlier this week at Thessaloniki’s Pitching Forum and has since received the Mediterranean Film Institute Doc Award, which consists of free participation in the 2024 edition of the MFI Doc Lab, a script development program dedicated to documentaries. Films that Märki has edited have screened at Locarno, CPH:DOX and IDFA, but “Why the F*** Am I So Sad?” will be a debut feature for both of them as directors. Rattini, who is also a cinematographer, produces with Italy’s Helios Sustainable Films.
Speaking with Variety, Märki says she’d noticed nuanced depictions of childless couples were lacking in cinema, while the existent ones were mostly negatively tinted, particularly the women. Then, she understood the best way forward was to make a film about her and Martin’s story, and to do it together. “We thought, ‘We’re filmmakers, let’s document this!’,” says Rattini regarding the way the couple dealt with an ongoing cycle of IVF treatments, procedures invasive to the female body often billed as “an easy fix and a quick thing.” After a decade of trying to build a nuclear family, the two embarked on a journey to make “a film about what comes after you realize nothing works,” Märki says, suggesting that maybe there is something else to cherish in that situation, “living a happy life without children.”
Märki was open about her ambivalence on the topic of motherhood, being both “open” and “pressured” by societal expectations.” In the titular question, they consider the pitfalls of identity as defined against a rigid idea of the “normal” nuclear family: “If we weren’t able to do this ‘normal’ thing, are we not part of the ‘normal’ people?,” she asks. In the process of researching childlessness, she noticed how strong the recurring narrative is, and how one-sided: if you don’t have kids, you lack something fundamental.
After the age of 40, as Westerners, they noticed that exclusion and isolation happen almost naturally when you’re the only childless couple in a friend group. This aspect of the social rules made them consider “Why the F*** Am I So Sad?” also a project where they can question belonging. “Almost a quarter of the population of Western Europe and Japan never have children, so what about them? Nobody talks about them, at least not in a very positive light,” Märki says.
Developing this documentary project has allowed the couple to turn the camera on themselves and each other for the first time in such an intense way. “Why the F*** Am I So Sad?” mixes an archive of holiday memories, filmed on Super 8 with an underwater camera, with digital, 4K or smartphone footage of their daily life now, as it unfolds. “These are our so-called ‘happy moments’,” Rattini says, poking fun at the idea of a perfect—and perfectly documented—couple, “because when you film each other on analogue film for 10 years, on every vacation, you end up with a representation of the perfect couple.”
Additionally, Märki and Rattini will digitalize and incorporate archive materials from their own families to complement the structure. An important part they have also mapped out is a part where they reflect on the dreams and aspirations they’ve had, and “also things we cannot tell each other, like our fears,” Märki says. The two have slightly different attitudes toward childlessness depending on their individual backgrounds, so to tell their different stories, she says, they plan to involve therapists as facilitator figures. Contrasting with the imagery of a “perfect couple” is raw honesty in their shared search for ways to “free yourself from internalized social narratives and stereotypes,” she says.
The Thessaloniki Documentary Festival runs March 7 – 17.
NEW YORK (AP) — Oil prices rose in early trading Sunday as a standoff between Iran and the U.S. prevented tankers from using the Strait of Hormuz, the Persian Gulf waterway that is crucial to global energy supplies.
The price of U.S. crude oil increased 6.4% to $87.90 per barrel an hour after trading resumed on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. The price of Brent crude, the international standard, climbed 5.8% to $95.64 per barrel.
The market reaction followed more than two days of lifted hopes and dashed expectations involving the strait. Crude prices plunged more than 9% Friday after Iran said it would fully reopen the strait, which it effectively controls, to commercial traffic.
Tehran reversed that decision and fired on several vessels Saturday after President Donald Trump said a U.S. Navy blockade of Iranian ports would remain in effect. On Sunday, Trump said the U.S. attacked and forcibly seized an Iranian-flagged cargo ship that allegedly tried to get around the blockade. Iran’s joint military command vowed to respond.
Sunday’s higher prices wiped out much of the declines seen Friday, signaling renewed doubts about how soon ships will again transport the vast amounts oil the world gets from the Middle East.
The US-Israeli war against Iran, now in its eighth week, has created one of the worst global energy crises in decades. Countries in Asia and Europe that import much of their oil from the Gulf have felt the most impact of halted supplies and production cuts, although rapidly rising gasoline, diesel and jet fuel prices are affecting businesses and consumers worldwide.
Asked when he thought U.S. motorists would again see gas cost less than $3 a gallon on average, Energy Secretary Chris Wright said prices at the pump might not go down that much until next year.
“But prices have likely peaked, and they’ll start going down,” Wright told CNN’s “State of the Union” on Sunday.
The price of crude oil — the main ingredient in gasoline — has fluctated dramatically since the U.S. and Israel attacked Iran on Feb. 28, and as Iran retaliated with airstrikes on other Gulf states. Crude traded at roughly $70 a barrel before the conflict, spiked to more than $119 at times, and previously closed Friday at $82.59 for U.S. oil and $90.38 for Brent.
Industry analysts have repeatedly warned that the longer the strait is closed, the worse prices could get.
A fragile, two-week ceasefire between the U.S. and Iran is set to expire Wednesday, while escalating tensions in the Strait of Hormuz puts the fate of new talks to end the war into question.
Even if a lasting deal to reopen the Strait of Hormuz emerges, analysts say it could take months for oil shipments to return to normal levels and for fuel prices to go down. Backed-up tanker traffic, shipowners concerned about another sudden escalation, and energy infrastructure damaged during the war are factors that could impede production and shipment volumes from returning to pre-war levels.
A gallon of regular gas cost an average of nearly $4.05 a gallon in the U.S. on Sunday, according to motor club federation AAA. That’s about 8 cents lower than a week ago, but far higher than $2.98 before the war.
Trump warns Iran it ‘can’t blackmail’ US with Hormuz closure
Fox News reports on heightened tensions in the Middle East as Iran’s Revolutionary Guard reaffirms strict control over the Strait of Hormuz and fires on passing ships. President Donald Trump, speaking from the Oval Office, states the US naval blockade will remain in full force. White House correspondent Alex Hogan provides updates on the escalating diplomatic and military standoff.
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Hundreds of commercial tankers are stranded on both sides of the Strait of Hormuz after Iran shut the critical chokepoint on April 18, halting traffic and leaving crews trapped amid reports of gunfire and “traumatic experiences” on board.
The Strait of Hormuz is considered an international waterway under international law, through which ships have the right of transit passage, according to the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea (UNCLOS).
Roughly one-fifth of the world’s oil supply passes through the Strait of Hormuz, making it a critical chokepoint for global energy markets, according to the U.S. Energy Information Administration.
The U.K. Maritime Trade Operations (UKMTO) said Iranian gunboats opened fire on a tanker the same day, while a projectile struck a container vessel, damaging cargo.
STARMER AND MACRON ACCUSED OF ‘PLAYING AT BEING RELEVANT’ WITH STRAIT OF HORMUZ PLAN
U.S. Central Command said Tuesday that “U.S. Navy guided-missile destroyers are among the assets executing a blockade mission impacting Iranian ports.” (CENTCOM)
Audio released by maritime monitoring group TankerTrackers appears to capture the moment a vessel and its crew came under fire while approaching the strait, including a distress call from a crew member.
“Sepah Navy! Motor tanker Sanmar Herald! You gave me clearance to go… you are firing now. Let me turn back!” the crew member can be heard saying in the recording, according to TankerTrackers.
Iranian state media confirmed that shots were fired near vessels to force them to turn back, while the Ministry of External Affairs of the Government of India said the foreign secretary was deeply concerned.
Hapag-Lloyd, the world’s fifth-largest container shipping line, told Fox News Digital that it had activated a crisis team as its crews remain stuck on board vessels in the region.
“We have been working from Friday afternoon until today with the entire crisis team to bring the vessels out — in vain, unfortunately,” said Nils Haupt, senior director of group communications at Hapag-Lloyd AG.
“These events can easily lead to traumatic experiences. There is also a significant risk from sea mines, which has made insuring vessels for passage through the Strait nearly impossible.”
LISA DAFTARI: HORMUZ WHIPLASH PROVES TEHRAN CAN’T HONOR ANY DEAL IT SIGNS
“The crews are well, but they are becoming increasingly impatient and frustrated. It is very unfortunate that we could not leave today,” he added. “Many ships are still stuck in the Persian Gulf.”
“Our six ships are anchored near the port of Dubai, and all crews hope for an improvement in the situation,” Haupt said.
The Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) said on April 18 that the strait would remain closed until the U.S. lifts its blockade on Iranian ports, warning ships not to move from anchorage or risk being treated as “enemy” collaborators.
Iran has previously argued that restrictions on its oil exports and shipping amount to “economic warfare,” framing actions in the Strait of Hormuz as a response to foreign pressure on its economy, according to statements from Iranian officials and state media in past incidents.
“Approaching the Strait of Hormuz will be considered cooperation with the enemy, and any violating vessel will be targeted,” the IRGC said in a statement carried by the semi-official Tasnim News Agency.
TRUMP ORDERS A BLOCKADE IN THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ AS TENSIONS WITH IRAN SOAR
Fishing boats dot the sea as cargo ships, in the background, sail through the Arabian Gulf toward the Strait of Hormuz off the United Arab Emirates, Friday, March 27, 2026. (AP Photo)
The United States imposed the blockade on Iranian ports to pressure Tehran to reopen the strait, with U.S. Central Command saying the measures are being enforced “impartially against all vessels.”
Hapag-Lloyd said its vessels have been stuck for weeks following the initial closure after the outbreak of war with Iran on Feb. 28.
“For us, it is critical that our vessels can pass through the strait soon,” Haupt said.
“We offer all crew members unlimited data so they can video call loved ones and access entertainment. Crews are strong, but after weeks on board there is growing monotony and frustration.”
“One crew experienced a fire on board from bomb fragments. Others have seen missiles or drones near their vessels,” he added.
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“They are resilient, but each additional day makes the situation more difficult, more monotonous, and more stressful.”
President Donald Trump said Iran had agreed not to close the strait again but after the closure, Trump called the situation “blackmail” and said the U.S. would not back down.
Shops and schools shut in northern Israel as residents protested a 10-day ceasefire with Lebanon that took effect on April 16, saying “nothing was achieved”. Israeli officials say operations may continue, with forces still deployed inside southern Lebanon.
Published On 19 Apr 2026
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