Q: My eldest daughter is 6, strong-willed, explosive and defiant. When she doesn’t get her way (we say no or there’s a natural consequence) she gets violent or destructive. We try a lot of approaches and she is seeing a psychologist.
Washington
Advice | I keep spanking my defiant 6-year-old. I’m scared of myself.
A: It’s clear you have tremendous guilt; you know that spanking not only doesn’t teach a child anything, but it also makes most behaviors worse. (For anyone who isn’t sure about this, the data is out there and clear.)
You wrote, “I am scared of myself because it seemed like an autonomous reaction and out of my control.” This is worth digging into. Are you dissociating? Do you feel like you are watching yourself rather than feeling like you’re in your body? You could be having a trauma response to your child’s explosion. This is not uncommon; We have conscious and unconscious memories and, without realizing it, our bodies can feel unsafe and cope in automatic or instinctive ways, like attacking or checking out. I strongly recommend talking to your doctor about your symptoms and seeking professional help from someone who specializes in post-traumatic stress disorder and/or complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
As you work on getting help, we need to help your brain-body connection. Parent coach and trauma specialist Sandi Lerman coined the term LIFT to help caregivers clarify issues in front of them. I find it is helpful in almost every challenging situation. L stands for the length of time that a struggle or, in your case, the feeling of being out of control lasts. When you spank your daughter, how do you feel for the rest of the day? Checked out? Wracked with guilt?
I stands for intensity. On the days you snapped, what was the intensity of your emotions even before your daughter’s explosion? If you zoom out, were you already feeling upset or stressed? For instance, I received some bad news this week and was very upset. One of my children had a big reaction to a mistake I made and, in turn, I had an even bigger reaction. Yes, she had an explosion, but the intensity of my feelings leading up to it definitely fed the situation.
F stands for frequency, which means how often you “check out” and spank your daughter, or even how often you feel dissociated. This kind of data is incredibly helpful for your doctors, and it also helps to gauge your growth as you begin to address this coping mechanism.
Finally, T is for triggers, one of the most important steps in understanding what is happening when you lose control. The best way to look at triggers is to write down what you remember. For example, “It was a Saturday morning, and I hadn’t slept well. Andrea woke up angry and was demanding a breakfast we didn’t have time to make. I was trying to reason with her, and she kept screaming in my face. She pushed me hard, and I almost stepped on the cat. From there, I don’t remember what happened …” Pay close attention to your breathing and your muscles as you write. Are you holding your breath or tense? Are you sweating? Are you beginning to check out? If at any point you begin to panic, stop, keep your eyes open, and do the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding technique, which involves identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.
Writing out your “LIFT” list serves two purposes: It gives you data for a specialist, and helps you see the patterns of when you lose control. You may realize that you were exhausted, angry, upset, but that being pushed was the trigger that led you to feel out of body. If the list shows you that you spank after your daughter hits, you can make a plan to exit the room when your daughter begins to become explosive. I don’t frequently recommend that parents leave their children, but in the case of violence, you do what you must. To smooth this process, tell the family, “When I feel angry at level 10, I will be walking outside to keep everyone safe. I love you all, and I will return after I breathe and feel calmer.” If you have a partner, make this plan a priority between the two of you.
Above all, please know that your body is in a panicked state when you lose control with your daughter and spank. You are not a “bad parent,” you need support and compassion. Please do not wait to get help, and good luck.
Washington
Pulitzer-winning Washington Post editor Dan Eggen found dead at 60 after being laid-off earlier this year
Veteran Washington Post editor Dan Eggen — a key architect of the paper’s political coverage who was laid off in a brutal round of cuts earlier this year — was found dead at his home in the nation’s capital on Tuesday. He was 60.
No foul play or violence were suspected in the death, local authorities told Eggen’s family, according to WaPo. The cause of death was pending an autopsy as of Wednesday morning.
Eggen spent nearly three decades at the paper, helping steer its reporting on the White House, Congress and presidential campaigns. He was on a team that won a 2002 Pulitzer Prize for investigating the plotters behind 9/11, going on to work on projects that won the most prestigious award in journalism in 2016, for reporting on Russian election interference, and in 2022, for exploring the previous year’s attack on the US Capitol.
A fixture of the newsroom’s most sensitive coverage, Eggen was “a sharp editor with a keen story sense,” the Post’s executive editor Matt Murray told staff.
“Dan was involved in hiring, editing and mentoring dozens of politics writers across the years,” he wrote, adding that Eggen’s “news muscle and instincts were integral to our coverage.”
At the time of his death, Eggen was set to start a new job at NOTUS, a recently launched, DC-based outlet that’s been scooping up laid-off WaPo staffers.
“We hired Dan to join us at NOTUS after some of the best reporters in DC told us he was the best editor they’d ever had,” the site’s editor in chief Tim Grieve wrote on X. “We were excited to have him here, and I think he was equally excited to be coming here. Deepest condolences to everyone who loved him.”
Josh Dawsey, a Wall Street Journal reporter who previously covered the White House for the Washington Post, recalled Eggen’s relentless work ethic. The late journalist “worked seven days a week, 14 hours a day” and was “incredibly dedicated, a wonderful line editor” who pushed reporters to improve, Dawsey told WaPo.
“I viewed him as one of the true beating hearts of the newsroom … Dan is one of those people who make the newspaper work,” he added.
Ashley Parker, a former White House reporter for the Washington Post who has since decamped to The Atlantic, remembered Eggen as a deeply collaborative editor who empowered his staff, saying he “was the rare editor who believed in his reporters” and “changed only 10 percent of your copy but made it 90 percent better.”
Eggen began his WaPo career as a metro reporter and covered the post-9/11 Justice Department before becoming an editor.
He is survived by two children from his ex-wife, journalist Stephanie Armour, and a sister, according to WaPo.
The Post has sought comment from local police.
Incidents like the one in 2023 along the Baltimore Beltway — a crash that killed six highway workers — are the reason why officials gathered to stress the need for better work zone safety during National Work Zone Awareness Week.
This week, officials, workers and residents are calling for safer roads as they say there is still more work to be done when it comes to safety.
“It’s about understanding that each of us has a role to play in the safety and protection of one another,” William Pines from the Maryland State Highway Administration said.
With an active construction site as the backdrop — at the interchange between Pennsylvania Avenue and Suitland Parkway — roadway workers spoke up.
“We are not just workers, we are people — real people. We are parents, siblings, friends and neighbors. So when you see us out there, please pay attention to that.” Dawn Hopkins with Flagger Force Traffic Control Services said.
Hopkins says she’s had to sound an alarm to get her crew out of dangerous situations.
“Please slow down, stay alert…and watch out for us in the workzones,” Hopkins added.
While the number of crashes in Maryland work zones in 2025 remains concerning, it is lower than in 2024. In 2025, there were:
- 1,148 work zone crashes
- 9 work zone deaths
- 449 injuries
In 2024, there were:
- 1,302 work zone crashes,
- 12 work zone deaths, and
- 492 injuries
“While citations are down, we still had 19 citations that were issues where the automated system recorded drivers traveling in excess of 130 miles an hour in work zones,” Pines said.
Maryland Gov. Wes Moore has proclaimed April 22 as “Go Orange Day” in Maryland, urging everyone to wear orange in support of highway worker safety.
A moment of silence for road workers who have been killed will be observed at noon this Friday.
This regularly scheduled column is written by Eli Tucker, Arlington-based Realtor and Arlington resident. If you would like to work with Eli and his team in Northern Virginia and the greater D.C. Metro area, you can reach him directly at [email protected].
Question: How has the local real estate market performed so far this year?
Answer: After a year where market conditions softened in favor of buyers, the Northern VA real estate market became more favorable for sellers in the first quarter of 2026, while the Washington DC condo market continued to reel.
What is in this article:
- Northern VA, Arlington, and Washington DC Absorption Trends (demand)
- Northern VA, Arlington, and Washington DC Inventory Trends (supply)
- Washington DC List Price Trends (market values)
Northern VA & Arlington Inventory is Being Absorbed Faster
After four straight quarters of double-digit decreases in year-over-year absorption, the Northern VA and Arlington markets saw a ~8% increase in absorption rate.
What this means: Demand increased in Q1
Northern VA & Arlington New Listing Volume is Declining
After a promising trend of six straight quarters of year-over-year increases in the number of homes listed for sale in Northern VA, new listing activity fell by ~1% each of the previous two quarters.
What this means: Sellers have less competition, buyers have fewer choices
Washington DC Condo Absorption is Plummeting
The absorption rate for DC condos has declined year-over-year for 16 quarters straight and 23 out of the past 26 quarters.
What this means: It is difficult to find buyers for DC condos
Washington DC Condo Inventory Declined Slightly
Total inventory declined by 3.4% year-over-year, the first quarterly drop since Q4 2023. Still, there were great than 2x more condos for sale in DC in Q1 2026 than Q1 2020
What this means: Motivated sellers must compete aggressively with each other for buyers
Washington DC Condos Keep Getting Cheaper
The average price of a DC condo listed for sale is 9.4% less than it was in Q1 2025 and ~9% less than it was ten years ago.
What this means: Even lowering the price won’t guarantee a buyer
If you’d like to discuss buying, selling, investing, or renting, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at [email protected].
We have access to the most pre and off-market listings across the DMV of any brokerage and are happy to share what’s available with anybody who asks.
Below are some of our team’s pre/off-market listings, details and additional listings available by request:
- Westover – 4BR/2BA/2,000sqft – Detached Single Family (2000) – 23rd St N Arlington VA 22205
- Green Valley – 5BR/4.5BA/3,000sqft – Detached Single Family (2020) – 24th St S Arlington VA 22206
- Ballston – 4BR/3.5BA/2,400sqft – Townhouse (2008) – N George Mason Dr Arlington VA 22203
- Ballston – 4BR/3.5BA+office/4,000 sqft – Four Townhouses (2026/2027) – 11th St N Arlington VA 22201
- Rosslyn – 2BR/2BA/1,800sqft – Condo (2021) – 1781 N Pierce St Arlington VA 22209
- Rosslyn – 3BR/2.5BA/2,400sqft – Condo (1986) – 1530 Key Blvd Arlington VA 22209
- Williamsburg – 6BR/5.5BA/5,500 sqft – Detached Single Family (2026) – 27th St N Arlington VA 22207
- Yorktown – 6BR/6.5BA/6,000+ sqft – Detached Single Family (2026) – N Greencastle St Arlington VA 22207
Eli and his team believe that your real estate needs should be managed by advisors, not salespeople. Their mission is to guide, educate, and advocate for their clients through real advice, hands-on support, and personalized service.
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