Washington

Advice | Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend forecasts a breakup every time they fight

Published

2 years ago

March 11, 2024

Advice | Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend forecasts a breakup every time they fight

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Jan. 10, 2010.

Dear Carolyn: When my boyfriend and I get into arguments, he inevitably says, “Maybe we shouldn’t be together,” or, “There are obviously compatibility issues.” Our relationship is complicated by the fact that he is in the process of getting a divorce, which has recently become more dramatic and has led to more stress on us. I am hurt by his comments and am increasingly becoming insecure in the relationship. Can you provide any insight? If it helps, “I love yous” have been exchanged as we’ve discussed our future together.

S.: I know your “if it helps” is about helping me answer your question. However, that talk of love and futures strikes me as being particularly unhelpful to you.

That’s because, when you and he gaze into each other’s eyes and see white picket fences, it’s natural for you to start mentally writing a fairy tale about the two of you. Then, when he says things like, “Maybe we shouldn’t be together,” you’re not thinking, “Hmm, maybe not.” Or, “Was this fight worth fighting?” Or, “Was I being fair, and was he?” Instead, your mind jumps right to that fairy tale — oh no! — and your primary focus becomes, “Save that picket fence!”

I feel no particular resentment toward the princess myths of my childhood, I swear, but “dreams” are vastly overrated. Ideas? Great. Plans? Necessary. Inspiration? Bring it on. Imagination? Sure, as long as you know you’re just making up stuff and reality will eventually have its say.

But dreams, I don’t know. They seem to get cultural carte blanche, when, in many cases, they’re just imaginings unmoored from reality. Exhibit A: the bridal-industrial complex.

You, S., are probably feeling insecure because you’re harboring dreams of where you want this relationship to go, when in fact there’s a whole lot of reality clearing its throat to be heard. You’re hoping. He’s doubting. You’re both fighting. His divorce is escalating.

Please just wipe out whatever you’ve imagined happening and force yourself to think clearly about what is happening.

Specifically: Do you get along, in most cases, without much effort? Do you like him as is? If you weren’t physically attracted to each other, would you choose each other as friends? Do you talk easily? Do you seek each other out equally? Can you hit your normal highs and lows without fear of scaring him off?

Tell us: What’s your favorite Carolyn Hax column about breakups?

And no sanity list is complete without these: Are you strong enough to say out loud to him, “If you don’t think we should be together, then why don’t you break up with me?” Not soap-operatic, just matter-of-fact. And, if this relationship ends, can you envision yourself crying it out and then carrying on?

The first set of questions is about the way you get along with him. The second is about the way you get along with you. Unless you get yeses on both sides, the white picket fence is a trap.

Meanwhile, those raw feelings in his ongoing divorce are already telling you to slow down, calm down, pace yourself and think. Now I’m saying it, too.

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Washington

Deputies shoot armed suspect in Leesburg Walmart parking lot

Published

5 hours ago

January 6, 2026

Press Room

Deputies shoot armed suspect in Leesburg Walmart parking lot

Deputies shot an armed suspect in the parking lot of a Walmart store in Leesburg, Virginia, late Tuesday morning, authorities say.

Detectives, deputies and special agents from the FBI had tracked the suspect down after he tried to rob the Bank of America at Dulles Crossing on Monday, the Loudoun County Sheriff’s Office said. The suspect, who still hasn’t been named, didn’t get any money before taking off from the bank.

Authorities found the suspect was parked at the back of the Walmart parking lot just before noon Tuesday.

Deputies pulled up behind the suspect’s blue sedan at the back of the Walmart parking lot about 11:40 a.m. Tuesday. As they approached, the suspect got out with a gun, Sheriff Mike Chapman said.

Deputies then fired their guns at the suspect, hitting him. Chapman did not say how many times the suspect was shot or give specific information about his injuries.

Medics took the suspect to a hospital.

No deputies were injured, the sheriff’s office said.

Chapman said it was too early in the investigation to say if the suspect fired his gun or how many officers were involved in the shooting.

Stay with News4 for updates to this developing story.

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Washington

The American story projected on the Washington Monument came from North Texas

Published

18 hours ago

January 6, 2026

Press Room

The American story projected on the Washington Monument came from North Texas

Steve Deitz walks with the energy of a coach; however, he does not hide that he and his team are digital nerds and storytellers who specialize in large-scale visual content and software development. More specifically, the 48-year-old makes a living creating the wow factor at his agency, “900lbs.”

“We started the company working for the Dallas Mavericks, telling large-scale visual content on the Jumbotron, and next thing you know, Activision, Blizzard calls,” he said. “We get to work in the Perot Museum on the biggest exhibit in the museum, and then fast-forward another 12 years, and here we are now.”

His current project is wrapping up in the nation’s capital — sorta. Since Dec.31, projections of America’s story have been given to his agency.

“We’re telling the story of the 250-year birthday of America in the biggest way possible on the facade of the Washington Monument on all four sides,” Deitz said.

He said they started testing out the results a couple of nights before New Year’s Eve. Scenes from Thomas Edison’s light bulb, the Empire State Building, the Model T Ford, and the Industrial Revolution, to name a few, are projected onto the Washington Monument.

Deitz gives his team a ton of credit from the moment he received the call about the project. He also thinks back to the times when he was an athlete who loved to draw in Merkel, Texas. The kid who dared to dream beyond the city limits and outside of the box. The CEO is giving advice to that child who may need a little inspiration.

“Hard work, perseverance, dedication, surround yourself with a team of brilliant people that are way smarter than you, and do the best you possibly can,” he said.

Deitz said there is a likelihood his team’s creations will return to the nation’s capital this year.

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Washington

Tracking crime in the DMV: Some areas see drop in violent crime, homicide

Published

2 days ago

January 5, 2026

Press Room

Tracking crime in the DMV: Some areas see drop in violent crime, homicide

It is not the way any homicide squad wants to start an already busy new year.

Prince George’s County police Sunday were trying to figure out who was found dead in a car behind a strip center overnight and why. Police, who responded after a call about gun shots, told News4 they’re still searching for the most basic details.

It comes just a day after three people were shot and killed at a Temple Hills banquet hall early Saturday morning. Police told News4 that investigation is active and showing signs of promise.

But the busy start somewhat hides the bigger picture about crime in the area.

Despite the tough start to 2026, homicide in Prince George’s County was down 40% in 2025 percent compared to 2024, and violent crime on a whole was down 19%, both through mid-December according to Prince George’s County police.

In D.C. is a similar story.

“Now we have no crime in Washington, DC. We have no killing,” said President Donald Trump Saturday during a news conference about action in Venezuela.

While the crime rate is not nearly as good as Trump has repeatedly said, the District recorded five homicides in December and 126 in all of 2025. That’s down 32% over 2024. Violent crime is down 29%, according to D.C .police crime statistics.

In Fairfax, homicide is down 14% — but the county only had 12 total — and violent crime dropped 4%, according to the county’s online reporting.

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