Seattle, WA

A New York State of Mind

Published

2 months ago

May 14, 2024

I love the Northwest, but there’s no place like New York City. Recently, I was there for some meetings. As I walked from one neighborhood to another, taking in the intellectual stimulation and people-watching, I understood the importance of adopting a New York State of Mind, at least occasionally. Let me explain.

To begin, all the senses are aroused. Most storefronts confront you with intriguing possibilities. Along my walk to lunch, I passed a children’s bookstore and got lost browsing in it for a while. I noticed the clothing stores — none of them franchises. I didn’t dare go in any, but admired the pricey outfi ts. Every half hour or so, I would pass a small museum. My favorite was the photography museum, where I couldn’t resist buying a poster.

Second, there’s the architecture: a mix of buildings, each one interesting to scan from bottom to top. Some have helicopter pads. The 18th-century buildings have exquisite and ornate detail. Skyscrapers boldly change shape halfway up. I imagined the penthouses at the top, a place only true titans of business can afford.

Third, infectious enthusiasm is evident on every street. High volumes of people walk together energetically, sharing snippets of conversation. Their confidence shows in the way they cross the street. Not one person waits for a “walk” signal. This is a town of extreme chutzpah, where the walkers own the streets.

Fourth, the people themselves are fabulous entertainment. Every race, ethnicity, age, class, and fashion — not to mention the full spectrum of mental health — is represented. My favorite was the stereotypical East Side matron, pushing a dual carriage with trickedout 3-year-old twins. Both had designer haircuts and elegantly tailored suits, ties, and Brooks Brothers shirts. You don’t see this in Seattle.

Fifth, the intensity of places to eat: bagel shops, fruit and vegetable markets, and streets filled with sidewalk tables. Italian, Greek, Japanese, Armenian, French — restaurants not too much bigger than their doorways, each with their own boosters in the neighborhood. The only thing that stopped me from multiple drop-ins was the fact I was heading to a business lunch.

So why am I sharing this with you? Because you should go. As one of the few great cities in the world, New York is reasonably accessible to us. The experience wakes us up. It broadens our perspective and creates ideas. Yes, there are a lot of problems like potholes, poverty, and politics. But New York will make you feel as though you’ve plugged into a socket and new energy is coursing through you. Your mind will go into hyper-speed. You’ll feel expansive, creative, and grateful for the new experiences. All this, just by walking across town.

Q: I love my husband. He is a good man, and we have an OK sex life. So that’s the problem — it’s just an OK sex life. My husband will not do anything fancy, and by that, I mean oral sex. He just doesn’t like it and won’t do it. But I miss it. I was married before him and that was a great part of our sex life, and it made it easier for me to have an orgasm. How do I get him to get over his distaste for something I like so much?

A: My first question to you: Did he ever do oral sex? With anyone else or early in the relationship? If he did, there might be a hygiene issue. Even married people sometimes don’t give each other accurate information on why they do or don’t like a specifi c sexual act. Perhaps you have a bacterial infection or do not get nicely washed up before sex — it could make a difference. So that’s at least worth looking into, even if it could be an awkward discussion.

If that’s not the issue, and if he has never liked oral sex or practiced it with you (or practiced it infrequently), you have then acquiesced to the lack of oral sex in the relationship. Making it a big deal now might genuinely upset him. Thus, you have two choices: Live without something you really miss (because you have already done so for quite awhile) or get the two of you to sexual therapy, specifi cally one that has getaway weeks or weekends where you can get support to reinvent your sex life.

These getaway therapies really can change habits. It’s hard to change them otherwise. But there are some great therapists who do them, and if you write to the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, they can tell you who is licensed in your area and what avenues of research could help you find the therapeutic situation. Of course, this requires that you and your husband would be enthusiastic about this kind of experience, and you could afford it, so there are a lot of “ifs.” But if oral sex is very important to you, then it’s at least worth considering some therapeutic intervention, which would require meaningful discussion and some guided experimentation.

Q: I need some help. My husband is very impulsive, and I don’t know what to do about it. He thinks I am a grouch and overly cautious, but he has gotten us into financial trouble. Examples: He bought a huge TV without us discussing it. We already had a big TV. He bought round-trip nonrefundable tickets for a trip that I cannot go on because of a business function. He bought our children an iguana that neither of them wanted. What to do?

A: Impulsiveness can be a very hard habit to break. Some literature suggests it can have a genetic component. That said, it can be very dangerous both financially and physically, so while I am going to give you some advice, I think you might want to think about some therapy — perhaps starting as couples therapy (because he thinks it’s your problem and you need a third party to convince him that he has an issue that is not just a result of a difference in your temperaments).

Basically, most very impulsive people are nervous and have recurring anxiety. Buying something expensive or jumping at some chance that might not really be the right opportunity (either at that time, or ever) is soothing to them. It gives a sense of power and, oddly enough, control. Once it rewards a pleasure center in the brain (the same immediate way chocolate or a sexual climax can do), the impulsive moment tugs at the person because they yearn for repeating that “high.”

There is major reluctance to change because the thrill is so rewarding. Even if there is buyer’s remorse or some other negative consequence (like your reactions, for example), the impulsive person doesn’t want to forgo that excitement and momentary rewards.

You can talk about it with him and see if there is some middle ground. For example, when he gets excited about buying something or going somewhere, agree to meet and talk about it, promise to not always be a “downer,” and see if there’s a way to accommodate his desires. He might be willing to do that, and that could help a lot. Or agree that impulse purchases have an expenditure lid, and that you both agree to stick to that limit.

Start there, but if there is no way he can modify his impulsive pattern, then some couples counseling, and ultimately, some individual counseling for him, really needs to happen if anything is to change.

Source link

Seattle, WA

Seattle Reign defender Ryanne Brown out for season with torn ACL

Published

7 hours ago

July 26, 2024

Press Room

Seattle Reign defender Ryanne Brown out for season with torn ACL

Seattle Reign FC confirmed on Friday that defender Ryanne Brown tore her anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) and meniscus and has been placed on the Season-Ending Injury (SEI) list. Brown was injured toward the end of the first half of last Friday’s match against the Utah Royals, going down without contact as she chased a ball out of bounds.

Brown will undergo surgery to begin her recovery, which can vary depending on the severity of the injury but typically ranges from nine months to a year.

Brown, in her second full season with the Reign, started four games and played in 10 matches across all competitions this year. All her starts came in June and July as she worked her way into a starting role. Brown was part of a backline that corrected earlier defensive mistakes and gave up just three goals in the last four matches she started.

“We’re heartbroken for Ryanne,” said head coach Laura Harvey in a team release. “She has consistently been a player who works hard every day to help the team as much as possible. Her performances on the field this year have shown how much growth there has been in Ryanne’s game. We will be fully supporting her throughout this journey.”

After the Reign’s Summer Cup win against Utah, Harvey shared her frustration with the fact that the Reign had to play on Friday and couldn’t start training until Monday following a seven-day CBA-mandated break.

“The fact that we’ve been asked to play four days, five days after the mandatory break, I don’t think is the most player health and safety thing that we’ve ever asked the players to do. Tonight was always going to be tough. Playing on a Friday after a mandatory break outside of a FIFA break is close to absurd if you ask me, and unfortunately, we have a player that got injured because of it.”

Reign forward Bethany Balcer shared a similar sentiment on Twitter this week, commenting on the news that Sam Staab will miss the rest of the season with a torn Achilles tendon.

multiple season ending injuries after a week long break and then having to play 5 days after…..
— Bethany Balcer (@bethanybalcer) July 25, 2024

Source link

Seattle, WA

County representative blames Seattle City Attorney, not jail, for safety issues

Published

14 hours ago

July 26, 2024

Press Room

County representative blames Seattle City Attorney, not jail, for safety issues

In an escalation of tensions between two local governments over how to handle misdemeanor crime, a representative for King County Executive Dow Constantine is pushing back on the claim that booking restrictions in the downtown jail are heightening public safety issues in Seattle, pointing the finger instead at City Attorney Ann Davison’s office.

Davison, as well as Seattle City Council President Sara Nelson and interim police Chief Sue Rahr, have argued the county’s restrictions, in place since 2020, mean they’re limited in their ability to combat public disorder and repeat shoplifters.

In a message to Metropolitan King County Council members sent Wednesday, Penny Lipsou, director of council relations for county Executive Dow Constantine, said Davison’s claims are misguided. Lipsou said the jail makes exceptions to booking restrictions when there is a compelling reason. Davison’s office has been ineffective at making those arguments in court, she said.

“Rather than attacking the jail (and in past months, the judges), she should first get her own shop in order,” Lipsou wrote in her message Wednesday.

The message goes on to invite Seattle to cancel its contract with the county for jail space.

“The County is more than willing to immediately release the City from any further obligations under the 2012 contract. This would ameliorate [the Department of Adult and Juvenile Detention]’s staffing challenges, and allow the County to focus on the more serious (felony) suspects and offenders, who are the County’s responsibility under state law,” Lipsou wrote.

King County has been restricting bookings in its downtown jail since the beginning of the pandemic, first for public health reasons, then due to staffing shortages. While violent offenses and DUIs are still eligible for booking, property destruction, trespassing, shoplifting and others are not. Seattle, which pays the county about $20 million a year for roughly 200 beds in the downtown jail, has only been able to access between 70 and 80 since 2020.

In response, Mayor Bruce Harrell recently announced a plan to jail people in a Des Moines jail, owned and operated by South King County cities, known as the South Correctional Entity, or SCORE. The proposal, which would put Seattle into new territory after exclusively using county-run jails, comes as Davison and members of the Seattle City Council have increased pressure on Harrell to find new jail beds.

In a City Council meeting Wednesday, Davison told officials her office couldn’t book more than half the misdemeanors listed in the city’s code.

“If somebody smashes a plate-glass window at one of our storefronts, I can’t get them booked into King County Jail,” Davison said.

Nelson, meanwhile, has repeatedly said the city should demand its money back from the county until it’s afforded all 200 beds.

Lipsou said the restrictions are not policy driven, but a response to low staffing levels which do not allow the county to operate its jails at full capacity. Hiring has picked up, but is still well below the number of staffers needed.

Seattle can request exemptions from the restrictions — which it has done several times, according to Lipsou’s email, including as recently as last week to allow Seattle police officers to book more people from downtown and its surrounding neighborhoods. News website PubliCola earlier reported on the exemption request.

“[The Department of Adult and Juvenile Detention] has made it clear to Seattle and other partner agencies that it will grant exceptions to booking restrictions based on special emphasis patrols, special events, and place-based enforcement, up to and including a recently requested exception for all of downtown Seattle,” Lipsou wrote.

As for the money, Lipsou said the county is already subsidizing misdemeanor bookings and the city is not paying the full cost, even with the limitations in place.

“There is no money to return, despite the city council president’s assertion,” wrote Lipsou.

Amy Enbysk, press secretary for Constantine, confirmed the authenticity of the email, which was intended to be internal.

“The Executive is extremely frustrated that these issues are being discussed at a City Council meeting without an opportunity for the County to be present, as it provides a one-sided perspective of a complex challenge,” she said.

A spokesperson for Mayor Bruce Harrell said the city remains in conversation with the county about its booking restrictions. A spokesperson for Davison declined to comment.

David Kroman:
206-464-3196 or dkroman@seattletimes.com; Seattle Times staff reporter David Kroman covers Seattle City Hall.

Source link

Seattle, WA

Seattle weather: Sunshine and upper 70s Friday

Published

21 hours ago

July 26, 2024

Press Room

Seattle weather: Sunshine and upper 70s Friday

Seattle weather: Warm and mostly sunny start to the weekend

FOX 13 Seattle Meteorologist Ilona McCauley has your latest western Washington weather forecast!

It was a cooler day Thursday after we started with morning clouds and even a few sprinkles around Everett. Highs today only warmed into the mid to low 70s.

TODAY HIGH TEMP (FOX 13 Seattle)

Mostly clear skies this evening with a few clouds along the coast by Friday morning. Overnight lows in the mid to low 50s.

Regional Overnight Lows (FOX 13 Seattle)

Clouds will be less to start Friday compared to Thursday, mainly along the coast.

FUTURECAST 7am (FOX 13 Seattle)

Skies will be mostly sunny on Friday afternoon with highs warming up to seasonal normal for late July, upper 70s to low 80s.

Regional Highs Tomorrow (FOX 13 Seattle)

Fire weather remains a high concern during this time of year, but we will see a bit of a relief especially for eastern and central Washington through this weekend. Winds will decrease tonight through Friday, decreasing the spread of current fires. Temperatures will be relatively cooler compared to the heat they have been seeing, in the 90s to 100s. Smoke will remain in the area and a haze could be noticeable in Western Washington.

FIRE CONDITIONS HEADLINES (FOX 13 Seattle)

Temperatures will warm a few degrees through Saturday with mostly sunny skies. A few more clouds on Sunday with temperatures in the mid 70s. We will see our first real rainmaker move through Monday into Tuesday, which could bring our first measurable rainfall in over a month! Warmer and drier skies will return by the middle of next week.