Denver, CO
Asking Eric: Destination wedding leaves old friends adrift
Dear Eric: My husband and I recently attended a destination wedding 1,500 miles away for the daughter of friends we have known for more than 50 years. We gave a very generous cash gift, despite the fact that we are retired and on a fixed income. We received a perfunctory thank you note a month or so later.
We paid all of our other expenses for lodging, food, etc. The only meal we were invited to attend was the wedding reception, not even the rehearsal dinner, which other non-members of the wedding party attended.
Over five days we spent little to no time with our friends due to how busy they were with the wedding and the number of friends from their local world, who were unfamiliar to us.
Needless to say, it was a giant waste of time and lots of money. At this point, I wish we had just sent a card with a congratulatory note and our regrets. I’m resentful. Please, help me re-frame this to get over it.
— Destination Dread
Dear Destination: Whenever I’m deciding whether to attend a destination wedding or just send a gift, I always ask myself, “Am I interested in going on a pricey vacation to this place and entertaining myself for the entire time in exchange for one free meal?”
Because, while some couples do program all their guests from sun-up to sundown, it’s usually more financially and logistically feasible to only promise everyone the main event. So, I prepare to spend a lot of time on sightseeing tours or reading poolside – or I stay home.
Think of this wedding as a vacation that you probably wouldn’t have chosen for yourself but which you went on nonetheless. Were there enjoyable meals or moments from your time there? Focus on those.
I know you were hoping to have more time with your friends, but you should grant them some grace here. You felt left out of some of the special moments of the wedding, passed over in favor of other friends. I understand the expectation but try reframing your thinking.
See it less as a rejection than as an oversight that came from them juggling friends from multiple stages of life, far from home, on a logistically complex weekend. Any time they spent with other people was not time they were purposefully spending away from you.
Your feelings are valid. Five days is a long time and it’s OK to have gone in with an expectation that you’d be a bigger part of the event, and you should have received a nicer thank you. All that being said, take the good memories from your vacation and leave the rest. It’s not worth throwing away 50 years of friendship over.
Dear Eric: My two adult children sometimes privately criticize or demean the other in my presence. I don’t want to get involved in a defensive conversation about my children, even if I may understand the reasons for the comments. I try to respond with something constructive and change the subject, but sometimes the comments are so bitter it really upsets me.
We tried a few sessions of family counseling that were really unhelpful. How can a parent respond in a way that is loving without validating the animosity between two adults? Maybe my expectation that my children relate to each other as friends is unrealistic.
— Mom Not Mediator
Dear Mom: Animosity between siblings is one of the oldest stories in the book. What book? Honestly, choose just about any and you will find sibling animosity littered throughout history and myth. It’s amazing that people who share DNA and memories so often can’t seem to share the same space.
I understand how sad this makes you. A lot of parents feel guilt when their children don’t get along as adults. The underlying causes can be unpacked in family therapy, when it works for you, but at the end of the day sometimes people just don’t like each other. Not even a mother can make them see eye to eye. It’s hard to accept and it makes for difficult holiday dinners but there is a way forward.
You have to set a clear boundary with your children about what they can and can’t talk about with you. They’re taking advantage of you as a receptive audience and each is trying to win you to their side. Mom’s agreement is the gold medal in the sibling rivalry Olympics. Take yourself out of the game.
Tell them, “I know that you don’t get along and I respect your feelings. It hurts me that you hurt. I wish I could fix it but I can’t. It also hurts me to be brought into this. I love you and I support you, please love me enough to talk about something else with me.”
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
Denver, CO
NBA Legend Proposes Cam Thomas-Denver Nuggets Deal
Could the Brooklyn Nets’ No. 1 scoring option team up with a two-time league MVP?
According to Paul Pierce, it’s possible.
On a recent episode of “Ticket & The Truth,” the former Boston Celtics star suggested a move from Brooklyn to the Denver Nuggets for Cam Thomas to provide the 2023 NBA Champions with a depth boost.
“Alright, let me put my GM hat on,” Pierce said. “I think right now, for Cam, I’d like to see him off the bench for Denver. …Because they need that spark plug off the bench.”
He may want to take that hat off.
The Nuggets do not have an asset they’d be willing to part ways with that would entice the Nets enough to move off of a 23-year-old who’s turning in over 24 points per game. And even if Denver were to offer a king’s ransom of draft capital, as long as Nikola Jokic is healthy a Nuggets’ choice will never hold much value.
When reports suggested Thomas could be available in negotiations, they didn’t mean Brooklyn was looking to give him away. The return would have to warrant the transaction, and a hypothetical package consisting of Christian Braun and two first-round picks (no offense Christian) won’t be enough to entice Sean Marks.
The Nets shouldn’t look to move Thomas until a can’t-say-no deal emerges. Until then, let him continue to drop nearly 25 a night on the opposition and revisit any potential thoughts of trading the electrifying scorer at February’s deadline.
Want to join the discussion? Like Nets on SI on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to stay up to date on all the latest Nets news. You can also meet the team behind the coverage.
Denver, CO
Who is Mike Johnston? Denver mayor dares Donald Trump over mass deportations, expresses willingness to go to jail
Mike Johnston, the Democrat mayor of Denver, has stated that he will urge citizens to oppose the mass deportations of migrants that President-elect Donald Trump has planned in Colorado. This comes as local authorities in “sanctuary cities” have started organising how to handle the issue.
Speaking to Denver’s station 9, Johnston, 50, stated that he is prepared to serve time in prison in order to halt any attempts at deportation.
Calling it a “Tiananmen Square moment,” the mayor of Denver has pledged to use local police and 50,000 citizens “stationed at the county line” to protect migrants residing in his sanctuary city from Trump’s mass deportation.
“More than us having [federal agents] stationed at the county line to keep them out, you would have 50,000 Denverites there,” he stated.
“It’s like the Tiananmen Square moment … right?” Johnston asked, making a reference to the well-known conflict between a Chinese student and a government tank at Tiananmen Square, China, during the 1989 uprising.
“You’d have every one of those Highland moms who came out for the migrants,” he continued, adding that “And you do not want to mess with them,” recalling the time when Denver people were reportedly ready to fight the federal government to the death.
Mike Johnston faces flak for his warning
Danielle Jurinsky (R), a councilwoman for Aurora City, told The Post that Johnston’s strategy will simply highlight his ineffectiveness in one of the nation’s so-called sanctuary cities, which deter or prohibit local officials from assisting federal immigration investigators in migrant cases.
“Aurora does not plan to provide the Trump administration any assistance, as far as I know, but we will certainly not stand in the way of what the American people voted for,” he stated.
Also Read: Trump border Czar Tom Homan issues fresh warning to President-elect’s critics, illegal migrants: ‘You got a problem’
After Johnston compared his endeavor to Tiananmen Square, Xi Van Fleet, a Chinese survivor of Mao’s revolution, lambasted him on Thursday, telling Fox Business that he is “either profoundly ignorant of the history, or he did the false analogy on purpose.”
Elon Musk, who Trump just appointed to lead the new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), also reacted to Johnston’s warning, saying that it demonstrates “the mayor of Denver hates his constituents.”
Trump’s border czar speaks out
Tom Homan, Trump’s choice for “border czar,” told The Post that he hopes the incoming government will sue sanctuary communities and stop providing them with federal funds.
He claimed that if they don’t alter their stand, the Trump government will “flood” certain communities with Immigration and Customs Enforcement personnel to stay outside local prison for the release of illegal migrants.
Johnston declared that he would not permit local law enforcement to help the federal government apprehend undocumented migrants.
“Absolutely not,” Johnston remarked. “We won’t do it.”
Denver, CO
Stats Rundown: 5 numbers to know from the Mavericks’ gutsy 123-120 win at the Denver Nuggets
The Dallas Mavericks (9-7) showed a little backbone in crunch time on Friday, gutting out a 123-120 win over the Denver Nuggets (8-6) at Ball Arena. Sure, the Mavericks coughed up a 24-point lead in the process, but they didn’t fold, even without Luka Dončić, who missed the game with a wrist sprain.
Dereck Lively II blocked two big shots in the game’s final two minutes to help P.J. Washington key a late 9-0 Mavs run to preserve the win. Naji Marshall led seven Mavericks scoring in double figures with 26 points in the win, but Washington was huge down the stretch as well and ended the night with 22 points, 13 rebounds and three steals. Nikola Jokic led the Nuggets with 33 points, 17 rebounds and 10 assists in the loss.
Here are five stats that tell the tale of what went down in Denver on Friday night.
7-of-9: Quentin Grimes’ and P.J. Washington’s shooting start
Playing without the safety net that is Dončić, the scoring was going to have to come from somewhere for the Mavericks. As they’ve done a couple of times before this season, the Mavs force-fed Washington in the post early in the first. He made his first three shot attempts on two post-up opportunities against smaller Denver defenders and a mid-range banker that gave the Mavs an early 9-3 advantage just two and a half minutes in. Quentin Grimes took Dončić’s spot in the starting lineup and promptly hit his first two 3-point attempts to apply a little early pressure on Denver’s home floor.
Kyrie Irving found Grimes streaking in transition for an easy dunk that put Dallas up 18-9 with just under seven minutes left in the first. Grimes hit his fourth straight shot attempt to start the game less than two minutes later, a mid-range jumper with a hand in his face that kept the Mavericks in front, 22-15 at the time.
Grimes led all scorers with 10 points in the first, but Denver chipped away at the lead in the last four minutes of the frame, and Dallas led 33-31 after one.
15-2: Mavs’ late second-quarter run
Irving and Naji Marshall ignited a 15-2 Mavericks run as the second quarter wound down to give Dallas a little breathing room before halftime. Jokic scored underneath after rebounding his own miss over Lively to pull the Nuggets to within 47-44 midway through the second, but Irving and Marshall combined to score 17 of the game’s next 20 points as the Mavs built their lead to as large as 19 points. Irving’s drive through the lane with 2:19 left in the first half gave the Mavericks a 63-46 lead. Marshall kept Dallas’ momentum rolling about a minute later with a tough drive in transition through several Denver defenders to give the Mavs a 67-49 advantage.
Irving and Marshall scored 15 apiece in the first half, while Jokic led all scorers with 19 points and pulled down eight rebounds for the Nuggets. The Mavs went off for 40 in the second quarter and led 73-53 at the break. The second quarter was the second time Dallas has scored 40 or more in a quarter this season.
13-of-15: Dallas’ first-half shooting in the restricted area
Any way you look at it, Dallas was dominant inside in the first half. It would be a very repeatable way to win should the Mavs choose to repeat the effort any time soon. There was a concerted effort on everyone’s part to get to the rim whether in transition or in the halfcourt offense.
The Mavs shot 13-of-15 in the restricted area in the first half at Denver. They outscored the Nuggets 44-20 in the paint in the first half as well. It wasn’t just Lively and Daniel Gafford feasting in the middle, either. Seven of Irving’s 12 first-half shot attempts came at or near the rim. Marshall and Washington got involved, consistently getting shots in the lane if not right at the rim. It was a big part of the reason the Mavericks shot 30-of-49 (61.2%) from the field in the first half.
27-6: Denver’s third-quarter run fueled by Michael Porter Jr.
Dallas held Michael Porter Jr. to just four points on 1-of-4 shooting in the first half. Without Aaron Gordon (calf strain) in the lineup, Porter Jr.’s lack of production was no small part of what set Denver back in the first half.
He hit a finger roll in the lane and a step-back in the midrange on back-to-back possessions early in the quarter before driving through the teeth of the Dallas defense for a dunk and following that up with a long 3-pointer the next time down to bring the Nuggets to within 81-69 midway through the third. It all stretched into an excruciating 27-6 Nuggets run that brought Denver all the way back to within six, down just 83-77 after Jokic’ leaner in the lane with 3:29 left in the third. Porter Jr. scored 11 on 5-of-6 shooting (2-of-3 from 3-point range) in the quarter, and the Mavs’ led 95-89 heading into the fourth.
26: A career-high scoring night for Naji Marshall
Marshall provided the big bucket the Mavericks needed time and time again down the stretch. He never shied away from the big moment, showing that knack for getting into the lane and scoring on tough leaners. He weaved through the Denver defense and finished with a high banker late in the shot clock with 20 seconds left to play to give the Mavs a 119-115 lead. That basket also gave Marshall a new career-high scoring night with 26 points on 11-of-15 shooting.
He wasn’t just a threat going to the bucket, either. After missing his last 14 3-point attempts coming into the game, Marshall hit 3-of-4 from distance in the win over the Nuggets. The Dallas bench outscored the Denver bench 57-24 behind Marshall’s 26 in the win.
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