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Asking Eric: Destination wedding leaves old friends adrift

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Asking Eric: Destination wedding leaves old friends adrift


Dear Eric: My husband and I recently attended a destination wedding 1,500 miles away for the daughter of friends we have known for more than 50 years. We gave a very generous cash gift, despite the fact that we are retired and on a fixed income. We received a perfunctory thank you note a month or so later.

We paid all of our other expenses for lodging, food, etc. The only meal we were invited to attend was the wedding reception, not even the rehearsal dinner, which other non-members of the wedding party attended.

Over five days we spent little to no time with our friends due to how busy they were with the wedding and the number of friends from their local world, who were unfamiliar to us.

Needless to say, it was a giant waste of time and lots of money. At this point, I wish we had just sent a card with a congratulatory note and our regrets. I’m resentful. Please, help me re-frame this to get over it.

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— Destination Dread

Dear Destination: Whenever I’m deciding whether to attend a destination wedding or just send a gift, I always ask myself, “Am I interested in going on a pricey vacation to this place and entertaining myself for the entire time in exchange for one free meal?”

Because, while some couples do program all their guests from sun-up to sundown, it’s usually more financially and logistically feasible to only promise everyone the main event. So, I prepare to spend a lot of time on sightseeing tours or reading poolside – or I stay home.

Think of this wedding as a vacation that you probably wouldn’t have chosen for yourself but which you went on nonetheless. Were there enjoyable meals or moments from your time there? Focus on those.

I know you were hoping to have more time with your friends, but you should grant them some grace here. You felt left out of some of the special moments of the wedding, passed over in favor of other friends. I understand the expectation but try reframing your thinking.

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See it less as a rejection than as an oversight that came from them juggling friends from multiple stages of life, far from home, on a logistically complex weekend. Any time they spent with other people was not time they were purposefully spending away from you.

Your feelings are valid. Five days is a long time and it’s OK to have gone in with an expectation that you’d be a bigger part of the event, and you should have received a nicer thank you. All that being said, take the good memories from your vacation and leave the rest. It’s not worth throwing away 50 years of friendship over.

Dear Eric: My two adult children sometimes privately criticize or demean the other in my presence. I don’t want to get involved in a defensive conversation about my children, even if I may understand the reasons for the comments. I try to respond with something constructive and change the subject, but sometimes the comments are so bitter it really upsets me.

We tried a few sessions of family counseling that were really unhelpful. How can a parent respond in a way that is loving without validating the animosity between two adults? Maybe my expectation that my children relate to each other as friends is unrealistic.

— Mom Not Mediator

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Dear Mom: Animosity between siblings is one of the oldest stories in the book. What book? Honestly, choose just about any and you will find sibling animosity littered throughout history and myth. It’s amazing that people who share DNA and memories so often can’t seem to share the same space.

I understand how sad this makes you. A lot of parents feel guilt when their children don’t get along as adults. The underlying causes can be unpacked in family therapy, when it works for you, but at the end of the day sometimes people just don’t like each other. Not even a mother can make them see eye to eye. It’s hard to accept and it makes for difficult holiday dinners but there is a way forward.

You have to set a clear boundary with your children about what they can and can’t talk about with you. They’re taking advantage of you as a receptive audience and each is trying to win you to their side. Mom’s agreement is the gold medal in the sibling rivalry Olympics. Take yourself out of the game.

Tell them, “I know that you don’t get along and I respect your feelings. It hurts me that you hurt. I wish I could fix it but I can’t. It also hurts me to be brought into this. I love you and I support you, please love me enough to talk about something else with me.”

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

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Denver, CO

“The Notebook” musical sets sights on Denver, composed by Ingrid Michaelson

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“The Notebook” musical sets sights on Denver, composed by Ingrid Michaelson


Just in time for the holidays, the iconic love story of “The Notebook” is coming to life on stage at Denver Center for the Performing Arts in December. The classic tale, now presented as a musical, plays the Buell Theatre starting in mid-December.

The story was first created as a novel and was later transformed into a hit movie in the early 2000s. Now, for the first time, the popular tale is being told as a musical touring the country.

“The story is already so emotional and beautiful. The music just elevates that,” said Kyle Mangold, the actor portraying young Noah in the show.

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CBS


The story is told primarily through six actors and actresses, three of which play Noah and three of which play Allie through different phases of their lives.

Songwriter and singer Ingrid Michaelson served as lyricist and composer for the production, bringing a new art to the love story.

“I have always been a fan of Ingrid Michaelson, who of course wrote the music for the show,” Mangold told CBS Colorado. “It is gorgeous. It is so beautiful, intimate and soring.”

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“It is amazing that this is her first musical,” said Ken Wulf Clark, the actor portraying middle Noah.

The six stars of the show sat down with CBS Colorado for an exclusive advanced preview of the production in Memphis, Tennessee. All six said they have loved how the music seamlessly helps tell the story without being distracting or feeling like a deviation from the original tale.

“It is so gorgeous, this music,” said Chloe Cheers, the actress who portrays young Allie.

“I think it is the best part, the writing, the lyrics, the melodies,” said Alysha Deslorieux, the actress portraying middle Allie.

Wulf Clark, Mangold, Deslorieux and Cheers co-star with Beau Gravitte and Sharon Catherine Brown who portray older Allie and older Noah.

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“(The music) is amazing, and I feel like it elevates the story of the notebook in a way we have not yet seen in the book or the movie,” Deslorieux said.

During the live production, it was easy to see how music perfectly wove together big emotions into melodies in which audiences of all ages and backgrounds could connect with.

“There is this sort of ache to a lot of these songs that Ingrid captures so perfectly,” Wulf Clark said. “It invites the audience to do that thing where they are leaning forward. It is such a beautiful illustration of something is missing inside, and you want to see that thing get completed. And she captures that so well.”

“The Notebook” plays at DCPA Dec. 16 through Dec. 28, with exceptions for the Christmas holiday. CBS Colorado is a proud partner of the DCPA. For more information on tickets for the musical visit DCPA’s website. 

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Los Angeles takes on Denver, looks to break 5-game skid

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Los Angeles takes on Denver, looks to break 5-game skid


Denver Nuggets (7-2, third in the Western Conference) vs. Los Angeles Clippers (3-7, 12th in the Western Conference)

Inglewood, California; Wednesday, 10:30 p.m. EST

BETMGM SPORTSBOOK LINE: Nuggets -2; over/under is 225.5

BOTTOM LINE: Los Angeles looks to end its five-game skid when the Clippers take on Denver.

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Los Angeles finished 50-32 overall and 29-23 in Western Conference action a season ago. The Clippers allowed opponents to score 108.2 points per game and shoot 46.1% from the field last season.

Denver went 50-32 overall and 32-20 in Western Conference play during the 2024-25 season. The Nuggets averaged 17.0 points off of turnovers, 14.4 second-chance points and 26.4 bench points last season.

INJURIES: Clippers: Bradley Beal: out (hip), Kawhi Leonard: out (injury management).

Nuggets: None listed.

___

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The Associated Press created this story using technology provided by Data Skrive and data from Sportradar.



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Why Is The Denver Fashion Week STREETWEAR Show Tonight Is A Must-Attend” Event?

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Why Is The Denver Fashion Week STREETWEAR Show Tonight Is A Must-Attend” Event?


The Denver Fashion Week Streetwear show this evening, Tuesday, November 11th is a must-attend for its energetic atmosphere, celebration of local and diverse culture, and emphasis on individuality and self-expression. The event features unique collections from emerging and established designers, showcases the “Colorado cool” style, and often includes performances by local artists and musicians. Attendees can also expect to see and be inspired by the cutting-edge streetwear and sneakers of the season, with the added opportunity to showcase their own personal style.

Tickets for the Streetwear & Sneakers show are almost sold out. Reserve your tickets HERE

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Photo credit: Weston Mosburg

This season’s featured designers include:

    Photo credit: Weston Mosburg

    Energetic and immersive experience

    • Vibrant atmosphere: The show creates an immersive and energetic environment, often enhanced by music and performances by local artists.
    • Audience participation: Attendees are encouraged to wear their best street-style outfits and sneakers, making the crowd an integral part of the spectacle. 

    Celebration of local and diverse culture 

    • “Colorado cool” style: The event showcases Denver’s unique style, which often blends functionality and layering to account for the unpredictable weather, along with influences from the city’s outdoor and creative scenes.
    • Diverse designers: DFW is a platform for a wide range of talent, with many shows featuring designers from diverse backgrounds, including Black, Latino, and Indigenous communities, which adds varied cultural influences to the collections. 
    Photo credit: Weston Mosburg

    Focus on individuality and creativity

    Trendsetting: It’s a place to discover the bold and unique pieces that will define the season’s streetwear style, from limited-edition drops to cutting-edge brands. 

    Unique collections: Designers create individual and personal collections, sometimes drawing inspiration from their own heritage to create a unique Denver-infused vibe.

    Boundary-pushing designs: The event highlights emerging and boundary-pushing designers who are creating the next wave of streetwear.

    Tickets for the Streetwear & Sneakers show are almost sold out. Reserve your tickets HERE

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