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Asking Eric: Destination wedding leaves old friends adrift

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Asking Eric: Destination wedding leaves old friends adrift


Dear Eric: My husband and I recently attended a destination wedding 1,500 miles away for the daughter of friends we have known for more than 50 years. We gave a very generous cash gift, despite the fact that we are retired and on a fixed income. We received a perfunctory thank you note a month or so later.

We paid all of our other expenses for lodging, food, etc. The only meal we were invited to attend was the wedding reception, not even the rehearsal dinner, which other non-members of the wedding party attended.

Over five days we spent little to no time with our friends due to how busy they were with the wedding and the number of friends from their local world, who were unfamiliar to us.

Needless to say, it was a giant waste of time and lots of money. At this point, I wish we had just sent a card with a congratulatory note and our regrets. I’m resentful. Please, help me re-frame this to get over it.

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— Destination Dread

Dear Destination: Whenever I’m deciding whether to attend a destination wedding or just send a gift, I always ask myself, “Am I interested in going on a pricey vacation to this place and entertaining myself for the entire time in exchange for one free meal?”

Because, while some couples do program all their guests from sun-up to sundown, it’s usually more financially and logistically feasible to only promise everyone the main event. So, I prepare to spend a lot of time on sightseeing tours or reading poolside – or I stay home.

Think of this wedding as a vacation that you probably wouldn’t have chosen for yourself but which you went on nonetheless. Were there enjoyable meals or moments from your time there? Focus on those.

I know you were hoping to have more time with your friends, but you should grant them some grace here. You felt left out of some of the special moments of the wedding, passed over in favor of other friends. I understand the expectation but try reframing your thinking.

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See it less as a rejection than as an oversight that came from them juggling friends from multiple stages of life, far from home, on a logistically complex weekend. Any time they spent with other people was not time they were purposefully spending away from you.

Your feelings are valid. Five days is a long time and it’s OK to have gone in with an expectation that you’d be a bigger part of the event, and you should have received a nicer thank you. All that being said, take the good memories from your vacation and leave the rest. It’s not worth throwing away 50 years of friendship over.

Dear Eric: My two adult children sometimes privately criticize or demean the other in my presence. I don’t want to get involved in a defensive conversation about my children, even if I may understand the reasons for the comments. I try to respond with something constructive and change the subject, but sometimes the comments are so bitter it really upsets me.

We tried a few sessions of family counseling that were really unhelpful. How can a parent respond in a way that is loving without validating the animosity between two adults? Maybe my expectation that my children relate to each other as friends is unrealistic.

— Mom Not Mediator

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Dear Mom: Animosity between siblings is one of the oldest stories in the book. What book? Honestly, choose just about any and you will find sibling animosity littered throughout history and myth. It’s amazing that people who share DNA and memories so often can’t seem to share the same space.

I understand how sad this makes you. A lot of parents feel guilt when their children don’t get along as adults. The underlying causes can be unpacked in family therapy, when it works for you, but at the end of the day sometimes people just don’t like each other. Not even a mother can make them see eye to eye. It’s hard to accept and it makes for difficult holiday dinners but there is a way forward.

You have to set a clear boundary with your children about what they can and can’t talk about with you. They’re taking advantage of you as a receptive audience and each is trying to win you to their side. Mom’s agreement is the gold medal in the sibling rivalry Olympics. Take yourself out of the game.

Tell them, “I know that you don’t get along and I respect your feelings. It hurts me that you hurt. I wish I could fix it but I can’t. It also hurts me to be brought into this. I love you and I support you, please love me enough to talk about something else with me.”

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

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Denver, CO

Prolonged ‘Welly weather,’ our first taste of winter and Lisa’s official first-snow prediction for Denver

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Prolonged ‘Welly weather,’ our first taste of winter and Lisa’s official first-snow prediction for Denver


Lisa Hidalgo and Ryan Warner were ready to bust out the rain boots for their September weather and climate chat.

Denver7’s chief meteorologist and the Colorado Public Radio host delved into a rare, days-long rainy stretch, our first taste of winter and the pair’s official first-snow-date prediction for Denver.

‘Welly weather’

“Two things happened this week that rarely happen in Colorado,” Warner said. “The first is that when I went to bed it was raining. I woke up and it was raining. And two, the rain meant I could wear my ‘Wellies,’ my Wellington boots.”

“These are rare events,” the green-rubber-boot-clad Warner quipped during the conversation.

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Warner and Hidalgo held their conversation on the heels of an unusually rainy spell. In Colorado, rain storms often come and go quickly. This week’s rainfall, though, came during a slow-moving storm.

“It’s more the direction of it and where it camps out,” Hidalgo explained. “So as you get a low pressure system rolling through the state, and we get all this moisture that wraps around the back side of it, it jams up against the foothills. It’s called an upslope flow.”

In the winter, such a storm would’ve meant inches of snow in Denver. With September highs in the 50s, though, it came down as rain in town as it snowed in the high country.

First taste of winter

The National Weather Service in Boulder estimated Tuesday that “a widespread 5-10 inches” of snow fell at the highest elevations – above 10,500 to 11,000 feet – during the September 22-23 storm.

Hidalgo noted things would quickly warm up after what was the area’s first winter weather advisory of the season.

“But this is just a hint of what’s to come,” she said. “And, obviously, we’re going to see a lot more alerts as we get into fall and into winter.”

When will Denver see its first measurable snow?

On average, the first snowfall in Denver happens on Oct. 18. The window has already passed for our earliest first snow, which happened on Sept. 3. The latest first snow in Denver is Dec. 10 – Lisa’s birthday.

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With all of that in consideration, Hidalgo predicted this year’s first snow in Denver would fall on Oct. 24.

Warner’s guess? A potentially soggy evening of trick-or-treating after an Oct. 29 first snow.

More weather in-depth

Lisa and Ryan touched on studies on potential connections between both lightning and snowmelt on Colorado’s year-round fire season. They also discussed a study that suggests the eastern half of Colorado is drying out faster than the western half.

For more in-depth weather analysis, watch their full weather and climate chat in the video player below:





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Denver, CO

Denver Zoo animals don’t just do tricks, they help vets with their own healthcare

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Denver Zoo animals don’t just do tricks, they help vets with their own healthcare


From a tiny tree frog to an enormous elephant, every one of the nearly 3,000 animals at the Denver Zoo are treated for their health issues on site. Many of the animals at the zoo aren’t just doing tricks, they’re helping zookeepers by participating in their own healthcare.



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Denver, CO

Some Park Hill residents feel Denver is failing on minority outreach in golf course discussion

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Some Park Hill residents feel Denver is failing on minority outreach in golf course discussion


Saturday morning at Park Hill’s Hiawatha Davis Recreation Center, the City of Denver held a community open house to talk about its next big project: the city park and open space that was formerly the Park Hill Golf Course.

“It’s quite rare for a city to have this large of a park coming in. So it’s really important to us that that process is driven by the community,” said Sarah Showalter, director of planning and policy at the city’s Department of Community Planning and Development.

Residents got to see the plans for the park and the future the city has in store for the surrounding neighborhood.

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“The voters clearly said that 155 acres should be a park, but the community is still looking for access to food and to affordable housing,” said Jolon Clark, executive director of Denver Parks and Recreation.

It seemed to be a good turnout, which the city likes, but two groups that appeared to be underrepresented were Black and Latino people, which is a problem, since Park Hill is a historically Black neighborhood.

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A Denver resident looks at a presentation at a community open house in Denver, Colorado, on Saturday, Sept. 13, 2025 on the future of the Park Hill neighborhood.

CBS


Helen Bradshaw is a lifelong Park Hill resident. She and Vincent Owens, another long-time resident, came to the open house and said the problem is simple: the city isn’t meeting the neighbors of color where they are.

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“The people who are just the average go to work, they might be at work or they have to work today or, you know, they couldn’t get a babysitter or something like that,” Owens said. “A lot of the elders on my block, they’re not going to come to something like this. So, you need to canvass and actually go get the voice of opinion, or they don’t know about it.”

Bradshaw and Owens say they want a neighborhood park and space for the neighbors by the neighbors. They also want a grocery store and opportunities for people who were part of the neighborhood long before it became a gem for development.

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Helen Bradshaw, left, and Vincent Owens say the City of Denver is failing to reach out to enough Black residents of the Park Hill neighborhood as the city works to determine how to move forward for the site of the former Park Hill Golf Course.

CBS


The city says that’s what they want as well, and that’s why they want everyone in Park Hill to give their input until the project is done.

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“People can go to ParkHillPark.org and they can fully get involved and find out what the next engagement is, how to provide their input, you know, through an email, through a survey,” said Clark.

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