Denver, CO
Ask Amy: Volunteer feels cornered by unwanted friend
Dear Amy: I am a 45-year-old married woman with three children.
I volunteer for a nonprofit organization and through this work I met a nice older woman (58) in this group. “Carol” was very nice, but over the past two years, she’s become very attached to me. This makes me uncomfortable.
She messages me over Facebook every morning and every night, and texts me multiple times a day.
Carol stops by unannounced and is very much in my space. She is very touchy.
She says I’m her best friend and that she loves me, but I don’t even think of her that way at all.
She sends extravagant gifts to me and my family frequently.
I’m trying to be nice; I don’t want to hurt her. But other than the nonprofit, we have nothing in common.
I kind of feel uncomfortable around her. She gets angry when I don’t respond to her and messages my children, telling them I’m “shutting her out.”
That’s crossing the line. I just don’t know what to do.
I just wish I had never met her.
Help!
— Concerned
Dear Concerned: This is concerning. You don’t say how old your children are or how well they know “Carol,” but she should not be sending messages to them at all — and certainly not as a way to get to you.
You need to convey to her that it is necessary for you to have stronger boundaries with her and that she needs to respect them. Tell her, “I’ve enjoyed working with you, but I am not going to move forward in friendship outside of our work together. I’m feeling crowded. I don’t feel comfortable with you stopping by the house or sending gifts to us. My spouse and I don’t want adults to contact our children without our permission. I’m asking you to respect these boundaries.”
I suggest seeing if she can respect your wishes before blocking her contact across platforms.
You should speak with your supervisor to let them know that you’re trying to handle this situation. You might ask not to have your hours overlap with Carol’s.
Save and print out any unwanted contact from Carol, and if she escalates, you may also have to escalate your response by considering a no-contact order.
Dear Amy: I am wondering if I should intervene for a friend and neighbor who appears to be being taken advantage of by her daughter and granddaughter.
“Edna” and “Max” retired eight years ago. (Edna is the neighborhood piano teacher. Many children and adults have benefited from her lessons.)
Shortly after Max passed away seven years ago, Edna’s divorced, unemployed daughter, “Lara,” moved in with her. Now, Lara’s unemployed daughter (Edna’s granddaughter) has moved in bringing her four young children with her.
The last time I saw Edna, she was crying and said that her daughter and granddaughter are sponging off of her, spending her Social Security, and because the unruly children are allowed to scream, fight, and wail incessantly, she’s had to give up her piano clients.
She said her daughter has talked her into a reverse mortgage so she and her granddaughter can have access to more of her money.
She says she is a prisoner in her room. I provided my advice — kick them all out!
Last week, I knocked on her door and her daughter turned me away, saying Edna has dementia symptoms and cannot talk to neighbors or go outside the house.
I don’t buy it. I am worried about Edna but do not want to be a busybody.
Your advice?
— Worried
Dear Worried: You should intervene, and do so quickly. “Just kick them out” is not practical advice when the abuse has progressed to this extent. “Edna” is trapped.
You should do a search for “Adult Protective Services” in your county and report this abuse immediately.
I would also call the police and request a “wellness check” on this very vulnerable elder.
This is not being a busybody. This is being a good friend.
Dear Amy: I’m responding to “Dissed Sib,” who felt it was unfair that certain family members received more financial help from their mother than others had. This happened in my family, and my mom’s response was: “Fair does not always mean equal.”
— Always Miss My Mom
Dear Always: I’ve heard from many readers who report similar pearls of wisdom delivered by parents during their childhoods.
Teaching this to children while they’re growing up will prevent resentment later.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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The NBA Draft kicks off Tuesday night at the Barclays Center in New York.
The Nuggets, who own the 26th overall pick, are looking to improve a team that was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs for the first time since the 2021-22 season.
Here’s a look at who national draftniks are thinking will land in Denver.
The Athletic | Zach Harper | Updated June 23
Sergio de Larrea, guard, 6-6, Valencia
“It’s hard to say whether the Nuggets will have the roster flexibility to use this pick or if they kick it down the road by trading it. This team needs offensive creation outside of what Nikola Jokić does. Jamal Murray is more of a scorer than a creator, and they’ve been missing that guard off the bench to run some offense through. With de Larrea in the mix, they’ll have good size at the guard position and someone who can orchestrate more.” See the full mock draft.
Sports Illustrated | Kevin Sweeney | Updated June 23
Isaiah Evans, F, Duke
“Evans is a polarizing prospect after two years at Duke. At his best, he’s one of the most dynamic shooters in this draft, capable of getting his shot off with next-to-no separation and regularly going on streaks of multiple threes in short spurts. His overall impact on the game can be muted at times though, especially when threes aren’t falling. He’s a below-average athlete and mediocre defensively.” See the full mock draft.
Other picks:
- Second round, 49th overall pick: Aaron Nkrumah, G, Tennessee State
The Sporting News | Stephen Noh | Updated June 23
Isaiah Evans, F, Duke
“Denver has built a great offense without relying much on 3-pointers. What if they could take an even bigger step on that end of the floor?
“Evans could provide that extra oomph. He’s a good shooter who should be able to drill wide open looks while playing off Nikola Jokic. He has the size to defend capably. And he’s a decent athlete who can attack closeouts well.” See the full mock draft.
CBS Sports | Adam Finkelstein | Updated June 22
Ebuka Okorie, G, Stanford
“The Pistons, Grizzlies, and Wolves have done the most work on Okorie, but Denver has a real need for a paint touch point guard, especially as Nikola Jokic begins to age and they are forced to explore other ways of creating offense. Ejiofor has reportedly been to Denver as well. Veesaar would fit their system; Reed would be another potential backup five if he were available, and Isaiah Evans and Meleek Thomas could provide floor spacing.” See the full mock draft.
Yahoo Sports | Kevin O’Connor | Updated June 22
Ebuka Okorie, G, Stanford
“The Nuggets need some variety to their half-court offense aside from having Nikola Jokić initiate everything. Well, here’s a guy who could help. Okorie is the best driving guard in the class, a 6-1 jitterbug who manipulates defenders with a tight handle, sudden changes of speed, and an advanced feel for the game. He’s not an above-the-rim athlete, though, and not long ago he was a kid from New Hampshire who ranked outside the top 100 and committed to Harvard. Then Stanford found him, he flipped his commitment, and he proceeded to lead the ACC in scoring with eight 30-point games and a habit for hitting clutch shots. NBA teams will have to decide whether what carved up the ACC will survive against bigger, longer defenders.” See the full mock draft.
Other picks:
- Second round, 49th overall pick: Tobe Awaka, F, Arizona
CBS Sports | Gary Parrish | Updated June 23
Koa Peat, F, Arizona
“Peat impacts winning in a variety of ways and was among the reasons Arizona won the Big 12’s regular-season championship before advancing to the Final Four. Good size. Good body. Intriguing prospect. The issue is that he’s a 6-7 wing who doesn’t really shoot, evidence being that Peat only took 20 3-pointers in 36 games with the Wildcats. That’s not ideal for the modern-NBA and why Peat’s draft-range seems vast.” See the full mock draft.
SB Nation | Ricky O’Donnell | Updated June 23
Koa Peat, F, Arizona
No writeup available. See the full mock draft.
ESPN | Jeremy Woo | Updated June 23
Labaron Philon Jr., G, Alabama
“This would be quite a fall for Philon, who has interest in the late lottery from the Bucks if they opt for a guard at No. 13. But it seems likely that one of the point guards falls toward the back of the first round with the way the board has shaped up — particularly in this scenario, where the Pistons don’t take one.
“Philon’s range has seemed particularly wide of late, and teams have speculated that he could slip, with his recent workout for the Timberwolves (who have since traded out of the first round) raising some eyebrows.” See the full mock draft.
Other picks:
- Second round, 49th overall pick: Jaden Bradley, G, Arizona
Bleacher Report | Jonathan Wasserman | Updated June 22
Tarris Reed Jr., C, UConn
“Tarris Reed Jr. has been receiving strong reviews from workouts after putting together a rare statistical season, posting a 9.0 block percentage, 13.0 offensive rebounding percentage and 15.0 assist percentage.
“His combination of strength, paint touch, passing and rim protection should put him in first-round conversations for teams that want bigs.” See the full mock draft.
Other picks:
- Second round, 49th overall pick: Dillon Mitchell, F, St. John’s
USA Today | Bryan Kalbrosky | Updated June 23
Meleek Thomas, G, Arkansas
“The Denver Nuggets tend to look for players with a strong assist-to-usage ratio because they rely on high-efficiency passing and off-ball movement. Arkansas freshman Meleek Thomas averaged 16.0 points, 4.4 rebounds, 2.5 assists and 1.5 steals per game while shooting 43.2 percent on 3-pointers during his 21 games as a starter last season.
“He was efficient using off-ball screens and handoffs and occasionally showed some on-ball flashes as a pick-and-roll ball handler as well. He led the SEC in corner 3-pointers made (32) last season, per CBB Analytics, and his plus-four wingspan gives him solid length as a young guard who is still improving on both sides of the court. Thomas answered one of the biggest questions in college basketball when he decided to turn pro rather than return to the NCAA.” See the full mock draft.
Other picks:
- Second round, 49th overall pick: Dillon Mitchell, F, St. John’s
Want more Nuggets news? Sign up for the Nuggets Insider to get all our NBA analysis.
Home prices are falling in Denver and other areas around the nation.
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Scott Olson/Getty Images
A few weeks ago, we asked our readers for ideas and questions for future Planet Money newsletters and podcasts. We got a bunch of great submissions, including an intriguing one from Karl Baumgartner.
Baumgartner is a 29-year-old internal medicine resident in Denver, where home prices and rents have been falling. Depending on which data you look at, the Denver metro area is experiencing one of the steepest — if not the steepest — housing price declines in the nation. Home prices have fallen more than 2% year over year, according to the S&P Cotality Case-Shiller Home Price Index, and even more if you adjust for inflation. Rents have fallen even more dramatically.
“As a renter myself, I am ecstatic about the falling prices,” Baumgartner writes. In fact, he just moved “to a bigger apartment with nicer amenities that I previously couldn’t afford, but now can because rent has fallen.” One of his friends, meanwhile, recently renegotiated her lease for about $500 less per month by showing her landlord that comparable apartments in her area were now going for much less.
“With almost all of my friends being in a similar position at the beginning of our careers with plenty of debt, we are all very excited about the decrease,” Baumgartner says.
So, yeah, falling rents are obviously a win for Denver renters. But Baumgartner is wondering about the broader economic picture.
“We know that negative inflation is bad for the economy in general, and we try to shoot for 2% annual inflation in general. What about negative inflation in the housing market specifically? Are there any downsides to falling prices, or is this just a sign of the market working as it should, with supply finally catching up to demand?”
It’s a great question because economics doesn’t seem to provide a simple answer on whether falling housing prices are good or bad for the economy.
Obviously, falling home prices and rents have downsides for homeowners and landlords. But what about the broader economy?
Sometimes falling housing costs could be a sign that the economy is healthy and the free market is working as economists might hope. Higher prices encourage builders to construct more housing. More supply comes online. Supply comes closer to or may even surpass demand, and housing prices go down. It’s the basic logic behind the YIMBY movement — a pro-housing development effort whose name stands for “Yes In My Backyard” — which argues that housing restrictions have prevented this healthy market process from delivering plentiful and more affordable housing.
Other times falling prices are a symptom of — and sometimes a big contributor to — a community’s economic distress.
So how can we tell the difference?
When falling home prices are bad
Let’s start with a clear bad scenario of falling home prices: Detroit. After years of deindustrialization and socioeconomic problems, Detroit saw a massive drop in population. Between 1990 and 2010 alone, Detroit lost nearly a third of its residents.
Home prices fell by more than 80% during the housing bust of the 2000s.
This wasn’t affordability created by abundance. It was affordability created by economic collapse.
Detroit neighborhoods emptied out and fell into disrepair. At one point, in 2007, houses in Detroit were cheaper than cars. For over a decade, the city has had an official program to demolish abandoned homes and buildings. For many Detroit families, generational wealth evaporated.
TO GO WITH AFP STORY by Joe Szczesny, US-city-Detroit-auto-debt
Curtains flap outside the broken window of an abandoned home December 31, 2014 in Detroit, Michigan. After the largest municipal bankruptcy in US history, Detroit hopes outsiders will see the city’s potential not the history of racial conflict, financial crises and citizen flight that has cut its population in half since 1960. AFP PHOTO/JOSHUA LOTT (Photo credit should read Joshua LOTT/AFP via Getty Images)
JOSHUA LOTT/AFP via Getty Images
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JOSHUA LOTT/AFP via Getty Images
Falling home prices can make homeowners feel poorer and cause them to spend less, a phenomenon economists call the wealth effect, says Daryl Fairweather, chief economist of Redfin.
Eric Zwick, an economist at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, says the bigger danger from falling home prices comes from debt, as many of us painfully remember from the 2008 financial crisis. If home prices fall enough, many owners can end up “underwater” — owing more on their mortgages than their houses are actually worth.
It was a big contributor to the Great Recession. One reason the economic damage was so severe, Zwick says, was lax lending standards that preceded the crash. Many homeowners took on too much debt assuming prices would keep rising and when they didn’t, they were overstretched.
“ That created a kind of cascade of forced sales, further price declines, more people defaulting potentially, and then spillovers into the financial system, which then affected everybody,” Zwick says.
Wall Street amplified the problem by bundling risky mortgages into securities that spread losses throughout the financial system.
Because of the role that debt plays in the housing market, a big decline in home prices can hurt not just homeowners, but also “businesses that borrow and everybody else,” Zwick says.
Falling home prices can also hurt important economic sectors, like the construction industry. And they can be bad for a city’s tax revenue.
So, yes, falling home prices can have serious downsides, to answer our reader’s question.
When falling home prices are good
But falling housing prices may not always be bad. Just ask Denver renters!
The housing affordability problem has loomed especially large in cities with roaring economies and not much new development to accommodate growing demand to live there.
Economists have long worried that the lack of housing construction in these places has created a kind of economic traffic jam: when workers can’t afford to live where the best jobs are, they don’t move there, businesses struggle to hire, and the economy doesn’t grow as fast as it could.
The economists Chang-Tai Hsieh and Enrico Moretti published research in 2019, which estimated that “stringent housing restrictions” to build new housing in places like the San Francisco Bay Area prevented workers from moving to where they could be more productive. By their estimate, constraints on building new housing lowered U.S. economic growth by a staggering 36% between 1964 and 2009.
Zwick says subsequent research has found that Hsieh and Moretti overestimated the size of that effect on economic growth. Nonetheless, he says, the broader idea is persuasive: housing scarcity in productive areas slows economic growth.
Denver may be a good example. It’s been seeing solid economic growth and job creation, but as local housing advocate Kevin Matthews of Denver YIMBY sees it, the lack of affordable places to live in the city has been holding Denver’s economy back.
Matthews recalls a large Denver employer expressing concern about the lack of affordable housing. “Their business is growing really fast, and they are trying to attract workers,” Matthews says. “I think it has a big effect. If those workers can’t afford to live here, they’re gonna go elsewhere.”
And similar to how higher home values may encourage homeowners to spend and invest more, cheaper rents may encourage renters to spend and invest more.
“If I’m trying to steel man the case for why falling values can be good, it would be that you are freeing up people’s incomes to spend on other sources of investment in the economy,” says Misha Fisher, the chief economist of Zillow. “If people are spending 80% of their income on housing, that’s not leaving a lot left over to spend on other things.”
Cheaper housing could also nudge more people to make decisions that ultimately serve their community and the economy. For example, Zwick suggests cheaper housing might help encourage family formation. When people are less worried about the cost of an extra bedroom or finding enough space for a family, they may be willing to have more kids. Over the long run, that could mean more workers and more taxpayers, which can ultimately benefit the economy.
Researchers have also linked homeownership to higher rates of civic engagement, neighborhood investment, and other behaviors that can improve communities.
How can you tell when falling prices are good or bad?
So how can we tell when a decline in housing prices is good or bad? We talked to a bunch of economists, and we couldn’t find a simple rule, but we did cobble together some important things to consider.
First, why are prices falling? One potentially important distinction is whether the decline in prices is driven by an increase in supply or a decrease in demand. Put more simply: are prices falling primarily because fewer people want to live somewhere, or because more housing is being built?
Fisher, from Zillow, says demand-driven price declines are often a bad sign. “ That’s usually an indicator that something else has gone wrong,” he says. For example, that the economy is cratering, as was the case in Detroit, or that demand to live somewhere is falling for other reasons, like a rise in crime or natural catastrophes.
By contrast, if price declines are in response to an increase in housing supply, that’s “typically a healthier way to keep home prices in check,” Fisher says.
Fairweather, from Redfin, says land values can provide another important clue. “When a city’s economy is struggling and people are leaving, land typically becomes less valuable,” Fairweather says. “ So when Detroit was going through its recession, its downturn, the land value was dropping because Detroit overall as a city was becoming a less attractive place to live in, to do business in,” Fairweather says.
But imagine a different scenario. A city remains economically vibrant, demand to live there stays strong, but developers are allowed to build a ton of housing — including lots of big apartment buildings — to accommodate the growing demand to live there. In that case, land values might rise even as housing prices decline. Why? Because developers are squeezing more housing units onto each parcel of land.
“ You’re making better use of the land,” Fairweather says. “You’re getting the most economic value out of the land. That’s overall a good thing.”
Matthews, the representative from Denver YIMBY, suggested another metric to consider: the “price to income” ratio. This compares the typical cost of housing to the typical income that can be earned in an area. If the cost of housing is falling, but so are incomes in an area, that’s likely a bad sign. But if prices are falling while incomes are rising, that’s a good sign. It means the economy is doing well while housing is becoming more affordable.
Finally, the size and speed of the price decline matters. Most homeowners can handle small or gradual drops. But a sharp, sudden decline can trigger widespread economic distress, foreclosures, and unleash a cycle that can lead to a recession.
Several YIMBYs we’ve spoken to over the years have suggested the least economically disruptive path to housing affordability is for housing prices to fall in real terms, but not necessarily in nominal terms. That means that home values rise more slowly than wages and inflation, allowing housing to become more affordable without requiring a sharp drop in the sticker price of homes that can cause financial distress to homeowners.
We were curious what our sources thought about Denver’s falling housing prices. Many suggested that it’s been driven primarily by an increase in supply. The city has built a ton of new housing units, especially new apartments, in recent years. That is probably a good sign. Although some did mention the in-migration into Denver has slowed while out-migration has picked up steam, suggesting demand to live in Denver has also cooled.
The downtown Denver skyline is seen from the air.
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Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images
But none of our sources suggested what was happening in Denver is any cause for alarm. Most Denver homeowners have seen considerable growth in their home values in recent years, and all our sources agreed that the price fall isn’t dramatic enough to push many of them underwater. This is not a Detroit-style housing crash.
Plus, the fall in prices is providing financial relief to Denver renters, like our reader. Denver may represent something close to the version of falling housing costs that economists hope for: housing becoming more affordable without a broader economic downturn.
Congrats, Karl, on that nice, new apartment.
And for the rest of our readers: Have other questions you want us to answer? Send us an email: planetmoney@npr.org
Denver will use $3 million of its contingency fund money to help pay out settlements this year under an ordinance the City Council approved Monday.
The council makes a similar transfer every year, but the amount varies depending on the settlements reached, said Laura Swartz, the spokesperson for the city’s finance department.
“It is difficult to budget for settlements in advance because the amounts and timing can be unpredictable based on each case’s own scheduling, negotiations and court decisions,” Swartz said.
Every year, the city sets aside $2 million for settlements in the budget. Officials request a transfer from the contingency fund for anything needed above that amount. The 2026 transfer brings the amount that will be used to pay out settlements this year to $5 million so far.
This year’s allotment will leave the city with $30.5 million remaining in its contingency fund. The contingency fund is separate in the annual budget from the city’s reserves, which officials have been working to replenish from a recent low point.
The city has been ordered to pay millions of dollars in settlements in recent years related to the Denver Police Department’s actions during the George Floyd protests.
Earlier this month, the council approved about $2.87 million in payments for 13 people who alleged that local police violated their constitutional rights during the 2020 protests.
In April, a federal appeals court ruled that the city must also pay $14 million to another group of protesters, upholding a jury verdict. The city hasn’t yet said how it will pay out that amount.
“The city is contemplating the next steps first and expects to have more to share soon,” Swartz said.
The city has approved a total of $24.2 million for settlements related to the George Floyd protests, according to the City Attorney’s Office. That count doesn’t include the $14 million the appeals court ordered the city to pay in April.
“This is money that we could have used for any other purpose,” Councilwoman Shontel Lewis said during a council meeting. “It represents a missed opportunity.”
The council unanimously approved the contingency money transfer through its consent agenda.
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