Connect with us

Denver, CO

Ask Amy: Volunteer feels cornered by unwanted friend

Published

on

Ask Amy: Volunteer feels cornered by unwanted friend


Dear Amy: I am a 45-year-old married woman with three children.

I volunteer for a nonprofit organization and through this work I met a nice older woman (58) in this group. “Carol” was very nice, but over the past two years, she’s become very attached to me. This makes me uncomfortable.

She messages me over Facebook every morning and every night, and texts me multiple times a day.

Carol stops by unannounced and is very much in my space. She is very touchy.

Advertisement

She says I’m her best friend and that she loves me, but I don’t even think of her that way at all.

She sends extravagant gifts to me and my family frequently.

I’m trying to be nice; I don’t want to hurt her. But other than the nonprofit, we have nothing in common.

I kind of feel uncomfortable around her. She gets angry when I don’t respond to her and messages my children, telling them I’m “shutting her out.”

That’s crossing the line. I just don’t know what to do.

Advertisement

I just wish I had never met her.

Help!

— Concerned

Dear Concerned: This is concerning. You don’t say how old your children are or how well they know “Carol,” but she should not be sending messages to them at all — and certainly not as a way to get to you.

You need to convey to her that it is necessary for you to have stronger boundaries with her and that she needs to respect them. Tell her, “I’ve enjoyed working with you, but I am not going to move forward in friendship outside of our work together. I’m feeling crowded. I don’t feel comfortable with you stopping by the house or sending gifts to us. My spouse and I don’t want adults to contact our children without our permission. I’m asking you to respect these boundaries.”

Advertisement

I suggest seeing if she can respect your wishes before blocking her contact across platforms.

You should speak with your supervisor to let them know that you’re trying to handle this situation. You might ask not to have your hours overlap with Carol’s.

Save and print out any unwanted contact from Carol, and if she escalates, you may also have to escalate your response by considering a no-contact order.

Dear Amy: I am wondering if I should intervene for a friend and neighbor who appears to be being taken advantage of by her daughter and granddaughter.

“Edna” and “Max” retired eight years ago. (Edna is the neighborhood piano teacher. Many children and adults have benefited from her lessons.)

Advertisement

Shortly after Max passed away seven years ago, Edna’s divorced, unemployed daughter, “Lara,” moved in with her. Now, Lara’s unemployed daughter (Edna’s granddaughter) has moved in bringing her four young children with her.

The last time I saw Edna, she was crying and said that her daughter and granddaughter are sponging off of her, spending her Social Security, and because the unruly children are allowed to scream, fight, and wail incessantly, she’s had to give up her piano clients.

She said her daughter has talked her into a reverse mortgage so she and her granddaughter can have access to more of her money.

She says she is a prisoner in her room. I provided my advice — kick them all out!

Last week, I knocked on her door and her daughter turned me away, saying Edna has dementia symptoms and cannot talk to neighbors or go outside the house.

Advertisement

I don’t buy it. I am worried about Edna but do not want to be a busybody.

Your advice?

— Worried

Dear Worried: You should intervene, and do so quickly. “Just kick them out” is not practical advice when the abuse has progressed to this extent. “Edna” is trapped.

You should do a search for “Adult Protective Services” in your county and report this abuse immediately.

Advertisement

I would also call the police and request a “wellness check” on this very vulnerable elder.

This is not being a busybody. This is being a good friend.

Dear Amy: I’m responding to “Dissed Sib,” who felt it was unfair that certain family members received more financial help from their mother than others had. This happened in my family, and my mom’s response was: “Fair does not always mean equal.”

— Always Miss My Mom

Dear Always: I’ve heard from many readers who report similar pearls of wisdom delivered by parents during their childhoods.

Advertisement

Teaching this to children while they’re growing up will prevent resentment later.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter, In The Know, to get entertainment news sent straight to your inbox.





Source link

Advertisement

Denver, CO

Denver Country Club caddie earns full-ride Evans Scholarship, becomes first in family to attend college

Published

on

Denver Country Club caddie earns full-ride Evans Scholarship, becomes first in family to attend college


DENVER — What started as a summer job has turned into a life-changing opportunity for Denver-area student Vanessa Olivar.

The 18-year-old Denver Country Club caddie has earned the prestigious Evans Scholarship, a full tuition and housing scholarship awarded by the Western Golf Association to caddies who demonstrate strong character, academic achievement, financial need and a strong caddie record.

Watch Bradey King’s story on how Olivar persevered to nab this scholarship in the video below.

Advertisement

Denver Country Club caddie earns full-ride Evans Scholarship

Olivar is one of 15 students from Colorado to receive the scholarship this year and will attend the University of Colorado Boulder this fall.

When she first heard about caddying through her high school’s assistant principal, Olivar said she wasn’t sure it was the right fit.

“I didn’t know anything about the game of golf,” she said. “At first, I was a little doubtful and nervous, but I thought it would be a great summer job. I quickly found out that it was more than just carrying a golfer’s bag.”

Advertisement

Over the past three years, Olivar learned the responsibilities that come with the job, from carrying clubs and providing yardages to building relationships with members and fellow caddies.

“I learned a strong work ethic, and the relationships that I built through caddying have really shaped who I am today,” she said.

Her dedication paid off when she received the news that she had earned the Evans Scholarship.

“I got that flag saying, ‘Congratulations,’ and I was so excited,” Olivar said. “Words couldn’t express how excited my family and I were for this great opportunity that I worked so hard for over three years.”

The scholarship carries even greater significance because Olivar will become the first person in her family to attend college.

Advertisement

“I’m a first-generation college student,” she said. “Coming from immigrant parents, I kind of had to navigate this world by myself.”

Her parents immigrated to the United States when they were 18, and Olivar said their sacrifices inspired her to pursue higher education.

“Being able to tell my parents they don’t have to pay for my college takes that weight off their shoulders, but also mine,” she said.

Western Golf Association officials say Olivar exemplifies the qualities the Evans Scholarship is designed to recognize.

“The scholarship is based upon four principles: Their caddie record, their academic record, their financial need, but really what’s most important is their character,” said Brian Wilkinson, the Western Golf Association Director at Denver Country Club. “Vanessa expresses the great character and leadership that we’re looking for in young women and men.”

Advertisement

At CU Boulder, Olivar plans to major in public health with a minor in business before pursuing dental school.

She said the opportunity has changed the trajectory of her future.

“I knew I wanted to go to college, and I wanted to have a further education,” Olivar said. “I just didn’t know how I was going to do that. I didn’t know caddying was eventually going to change that for me. It’s a scholarship that has changed my life forever.

Denver7

Denver7 | Your Voice: Get in touch with Bradey King

Advertisement

Denver7’s Bradey King reports on the entire sports landscape in Colorado, including Denver’s pro teams, but is always looking for stories off the field and in the non-professional ranks. If you’d like to get in touch with Bradey, fill out the form below to send her an email.





Source link

Continue Reading

Denver, CO

Denver area events for July 13

Published

on

Denver area events for July 13


If you have an event taking place in the Denver area, email information to carlotta.olson@gazette.com at least two weeks in advance. All events are listed in the calendar on space availability. Monday Music in the Gardens — With Pamela Machala, 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., 17th Street Gardens, 1945 17th St., Denver; cpvmd.org/music-in-the-gardens-2026. Denver Cocktails Tour — 4:30-6:30 p.m., […]



Source link

Continue Reading

Denver, CO

Nuggets sign former Denver West basketball player Alpha Diallo out of EuroLeague

Published

on

Nuggets sign former Denver West basketball player Alpha Diallo out of EuroLeague


The Nuggets have made a habit of signing bench players with Colorado ties.

The latest homecoming they’ve arranged is for Alpha Diallo, who played a season of high school basketball at Denver West and is now signing a one-year, $1.4 million minimum contract with Denver in NBA free agency, a league source told The Denver Post on Sunday.

Diallo, 29, was named Defensive Player of the Year in the EuroLeague last season. This will be his first foray into the NBA after a five-year stint with AS Monaco. He recently committed to join Dubai Basketball on a multiyear deal, according to a report by the European media outlet BasketNews, but his contract included a clause granting his release if he left for the NBA by July 15.

The Nuggets have signed Diallo, Reggie Jackson (Palmer High School), David Roddy (Colorado State) and KJ Simpson (CU) to various deals in the last three years.

Advertisement

Born in New York, Diallo helped lead Denver West to the Colorado Class 4A Sweet 16 as a sophomore. He transferred to Lincoln High before his junior season, but he was ruled ineligible to compete for the entire school year due to what CHSAA deemed an implicit recruiting violation; Lincoln’s coach at the time had just coached Diallo in a summer tournament.

The eligibility fight with CHSAA eventually led Diallo to leave the state. He returned to the East Coast and played four years of college basketball at Providence, where he earned Second Team All-Big East honors twice.



Source link

Continue Reading
Advertisement

Trending