Denver, CO
Ask Amy: Gender transition highlights host’s rudeness
Dear Readers: The following Q&A first ran in 2020.
Dear Amy: A couple of years ago, an acquaintance of ours hosted a dinner party. I was only acquainted with half the people there. The hostess didn’t make introductions.
One person present was someone I had met a few times. (I’ll call her “Jane.”)
I knew that Jane had a partner, “Joan,” whom I had only met once years before.
At the dinner, Jane was sitting next to a man.
At one point I stared across the table because I was trying to determine if this was Jane’s brother, or if Joan was transitioning to male.
I admit that I feel bad for staring, but I was trying to figure out if we had met.
We spoke briefly afterward, and they made no attempt to reintroduce themselves to me.
After they left, the hostess explained that Joan was now “John” and how they hate to have to explain themselves or their pronoun, which is “they.”
I tried to joke: “I didn’t get the memo.” To which the hostess replied, “It wasn’t my memo to send.”
I think the hostess could have spared some social awkwardness with one quick sentence privately, like “Joan is John now, deal with it,” which would have been fine with me.
I am still angry with the hostess for leaving us floundering as to who was at the party. What do you think?
— Befuddled Guest
Dear Befuddled: Let us for a moment go back to nursery school. Have you ever noticed that when children don’t know other kids’ names, they don’t talk to them?
Names: We have them for a reason.
Now let’s talk about this hostess. Who invites a bunch of previously unacquainted (or semi-acquainted) people to their home and then doesn’t introduce (or re-introduce) them to each other at the beginning of the evening? I mean, if you’re going to make a cassoulet, you can certainly make an introduction.
Now onto you. In the absence of hostess-courtesy, why didn’t you introduce yourself to people? “Hi, I’m Befuddled Guest. But please, you can call me Befuddled. Tell me your name?” If the person answers by saying, “We’ve met before” (I get this a lot), you can say — as I always do — “Oh, I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten that. Remind me of your name?”
I agree that it is not the hostess’s job to deliver the memo about a guest’s gender transition in advance of the party. It IS the hostess’s job to introduce her guests to one another.
If you know someone’s name, you don’t have to ponder or puzzle over their gender. Granted, “John” is likely a male. “Courtney” might be a man or a woman. But gender identity doesn’t matter, because when you know someone’s name, you can just address them by their name, see them as fellow humans, and take it from there.
Dear Amy: I wanted to respond to the recent letter from “Befuddled,” in which a husband laments the estrangement between his wife and her sister. Your advice was beautifully written.
As an RN of some 45 years, I have seen the awfulness of unresolved estrangements, which can be decades long.
I could recount way too many situations, during end-of-life discussions in which it was appropriate to discontinue life support.
But if a family member is estranged from a loved one, once the person dies, so too does any hope of reconciliation.
It is these very people who often struggle with what’s called “complex grief.”
So many times, we nurses would hear stories that break your heart: Each person was longing for the other one to make that first phone call, and apologize.
Of course, many times no one could even recall what exactly was said so many years ago that led to such a fracture between loved ones.
Life is short. Regrets can tear us up.
— Nursing Some Hurts
Dear Nursing: Estrangement seems to be a particularly heartbreaking trend (at least in the questions sent to me). Your perspective is so valuable. Thank you for offering it. I hope your words inspire people to reconsider their relationships and seek ways to reconcile, if possible.
Dear Amy: “Passively Helpful Guy” seems to think that if he offers to help people, he’ll be trapped in an endless loop of offering assistance.
I suggest he try it, just once.
Yes, we should all learn to ask for help — and also learn how to offer it.
— Faithful Reader
Dear Faithful: Exactly. Thank you.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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Denver, CO
Denver airport delays, crashes, broken windows, downed power lines: What to know about Colorado’s windy Wednesday
Hurricane-force winds in Colorado on Wednesday had a major impact across the Denver metro area, Front Range, and foothills. It’s a First Alert Weather Day because of the dangerous conditions.
Gusts of over 100 mph — equivalent to a category 2 hurricane — were reported in some parts of the Front Range, and over 100,000 people were without power as of 7 p.m. On Berthoud Pass, between Empire and Winter Park, wind gusts reached at least 102 mph. They reached 97 mph at Rocky Flats National Wildlife Refuge in Boulder County, 96 mph in Marshall, and 93 mph in West Arvada.
Several highways were closed, Denver International Airport saw dozens of delays, power lines and other property damage were reported, schools were closed, Denver’s holiday events were canceled, and thousands of homes and businesses were without power after Xcel’s Public Safety Power Shutoff and unplanned outages.
Power shutoff
Xcel Energy was implementing what it calls a Public Safety Shutoff, for only the second time ever in Colorado. An estimated 50,000 people across the Front Range were impacted, mostly in Boulder, Clear Creek, Jefferson, Larimer, and Weld counties.
Restoration for some areas was expected to start around 6 p.m. Wednesday, but many customers told CBS News Colorado that Xcel told them it could be up to three days before their power is restored.
As a result, the Colorado Division of Emergency Management opened charging centers, shelters, and resource centers in the impacted areas.
Xcel said it shut off the power in these areas because of the combination of wind speeds and dry conditions that increase the chance of wildfires.
Once conditions improve, Xcel Energy Colorado President Robert Kenney said crews will begin inspecting lines to determine when power can be restored.
“Once the wind event stops, that does not mean your power will be immediately restored,” he said. “We have several hundred crew members that are already being pre-positioned, that are on standby, so that when the wind event does end, they will be able to immediately begin inspecting the lines. They have to visually inspect the lines for damage before restoring the power.”
Delayed flights
The Federal Aviation Administration called for a ground delay at Denver International Airport from 5 through 8 p.m., although that’s subject to change, based on evolving weather conditions.
As of about 6:30 p.m., 66 flights were delayed, and one was canceled.
Wind gusts were recorded at around 40 mph at the airport around 5 p.m.
School closures
Several school districts — including Jefferson County, Colorado’s second-largest — closed schools, and many also canceled after-school activities.
The University of Colorado cancelled classes, but the Buffs’ basketball game against Portland State is continuing, although fans are not allowed to attend.
Highway closures
Several highways in the foothills near Boulder, as well as in Northern Colorado up to the Wyoming state line, were closed. At least one crash also closed the westbound lanes of Interstate 70 on the Eastern Plains.
Those planned closures included:
- Highway 93 between Boulder and Arvada
- Highway 36 between Boulder and Lyons
- Highway 128 from Superior to Highway 93
- Highway 287 between Ted’s Place and the Wyoming border closed this afternoon, but has since reopened
Damage and other closures
Power lines were reported as having fallen across the Denver metro area, adding to the number of customers without power.
A number of local businesses were also forced to close — some out of caution, others due to a lack of power.
Car and structure windows were also broken by flying debris, like this car in Boulder, whose windows were shattered by small, flying rocks.
Despite losing power around 10 a.m., Ace Hardware in Golden remained open and kept busy, selling generators, flashlights, batteries, and tools and materials to prevent or fix damage.
Some business owners raised concerns about what a days-long outage could mean for their companies, products, and customers.
“We could lose everything,” DeAnn Wieber, owner of the Windy Saddle Cafe in Golden, said. “We could lose all our food, the time that it took to prepare everything, and we just don’t know. And there’s are a lot of businesses going through the same thing.”
Denver, CO
Canceled due to high winds: Wednesday’s drone show, holiday tree, Christkindlmarket
Downtown’s Mile High Drone Show, the Denver Christkindlmarket and access to the Mile High Tree have been canceled for Wednesday, Dec. 17, due to high winds, said producers at Visit Denver.
The city’s tourism arm on Wednesday morning decided to cancel the shows and outdoor holiday market for this evening “due to weather conditions,” as well as cut off access to the 110-foot LED icon known as the Mile High Tree, through which visitors can typically walk and snap selfies.
Denver is forecasted to endure wind gusts of up to 50 mph on Dec. 17, with gusts of up to 75 to 80mph possible in higher elevations. High winds, low humidity and the possibility of wildfire led Xcel Energy to cut power to more than 100,000 Front Range residents by Wednesday morning. Xcel Energy also sponsors the Mile High Tree.
Denver Christkindlmarket is scheduled to run through Dec. 23 at the Auraria Campus.
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Denver, CO
Denver weather: Strong wind and increased fire danger Wednesday
DENVER (KDVR) — A Pinpoint Weather Alert Day has been issued for Wednesday as fire danger increases in Denver due to strong wind gusts and dry conditions, with even stronger wind gusts to the west into the foothills.
Denver weather tonight: Mainly clear

Denver weather tomorrow: Warm & windy
Wednesday will be warm and windy.
As high temperatures climb to the mid-60s, wind gusts will pick up to over 40 mph.
A Red Flag Warning has been issued across the urban corridor as strong wind gusts are paired with dry conditions on the ground and low humidity, leading to high fire danger for the potential of rapid fire spread.
The strongest wind gusts will be west of the metro. High wind warnings are set to go into effect Wednesday morning and continue into early Thursday. During this time, gusts could reach 65-85 mph, especially for areas above 6,000 feet.
Above 9000 feet, there is a chance for light snowfall. Even though most places will only see 4″ of snowfall or less, blowing snow from strong wind gusts will lead to limited visibility and difficult driving conditions.
Looking ahead: Staying warmer through the weekend
Temperatures will drop on Thursday to around 50 degrees, which is still more than five degrees above normal for this time of year.
Friday, sunny, breezy and warm weather returns. High temperatures will climb to record range, which in Denver is a high of 67 degrees, last hit in 2023.
More dry and warmer than normal conditions will continue into the weekend, with a high in the mid-60s Saturday, then just shy of 60 degrees by kickoff of the Broncos game. Then the workweek starts with sunshine and high temperatures reaching record levels.
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