Minnesota
Yankees 9, Twins 5: Scared hitless (through five)

This game was an embarrassing turd;
We all vomited.
We should’ve been swinging up there,
Not just taking awful strikes — umps don’t help.
All in all it was a wretched first,
The Yanks put four painful runs through.
Offense? We had to try,
Try, but we
Had no little offense not a soul could reach…
No one
Through five
Even reached the bases,
Thought it’d last (thought it’d last) all night:
This was an embarrassing turd.
Well, there were still some STUDS tonight;
Some stood aloft that we’re proud to see:
Yeah, Royce and big Santana skied
Very far o’er the wall,
Their blasts soaring out of reach.
DUDS were Paddack, Castillo, and
Home plate ump not allowed to see.
Props zkonedog: he had the Comment,
The game’s best rant meant to teach.
Still we’re
Alive
And we’re reached a stasis;
We’ll be back (we’ll be back) next night,
Them to be embarrassed in turn!

Minnesota
Minnesota couple searching for stolen wedding memento

Six days after their Oct. 4 wedding at Grand View Lodge, Brianne Wilbury and her husband stopped at Sociable Cider Werks, a favorite date spot. Their car still had “Just Married” on the back window.
“I look over and see a car that says ‘just married,’” Wilbury said. “I thought, oh good for them. Then I realized, that’s my car.”
Wilbury said someone pulled a white car behind theirs, broke the driver’s-side lock, removed the panel by the ignition and started the vehicle with a USB cable.
“It took them about 30 seconds, and then my car was gone,” she said.
The car was later found in the Dinkytown/Marcy-Holmes area, Wilbury said. Several items were missing, including a wood-burned wedding sign her father made and keepsakes the couple collected while living in Colorado.
“I’m happy they found the car, but you only get one of them,” Wilbury said. “My dad could make another, but it wasn’t there. It didn’t see the ceremony.”
Wilbury lost her mother when she was 10. She said the sign mattered because, “it’s not like I can ask my mom to make me a wedding present,” adding, “this was really important — to have something my dad touched and worked on.”
Wilbury says staff and patrons at the cidery tried to help.
“People were already on their phones, ready to call, and the bartender gave us a free round,” Wilbury said.
One person followed the car to try to get a license plate number, she said.
Wilbury isn’t focused on arrests; she wants the sign back.
“If someone does have it, I’d really like it back,” she said. “Even if it’s broken in two pieces — there’s always wood glue.”
“Even if they take my car, they cannot take my marriage,” she said.
Minnesota
Rural health care in Minnesota: What’s changing and why?

Minnesota
Speeding motorcyclist dies in downtown Minneapolis crash, state patrol says

A motorcyclist who crashed while leaving downtown Minneapolis was later found dead, according to the Minnesota State Patrol.
The crash happened around 1 a.m. Sunday on the ramp from Third Street to Interstate 94 west, according to the patrol’s incident report.
The 21-year-old motorcyclist from Spring Lake Park, Minnesota, was “traveling a very high rate of speed,” the patrol said, and “was later found deceased as a result of the crash.”
No other vehicles were involved. The motorcyclist has not been publicly identified.
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