Lifestyle
What It Means to Be a ‘Well Woman,’ According to Amy Larocca, Author of ‘How to Be Well’
When I met the writer Amy Larocca at a cafe in the Boerum Hill neighborhood of Brooklyn on a recent afternoon, I could not help but notice: She had the glow. Or seemed to.
The glow, as Ms. Larocca explains in her new book, “How to Be Well: Navigating Our Self-Care Epidemic, One Dubious Cure at a Time,” is what happens when you purify yourself “from the inside out.” When you never miss a day of your skin care routine, regularly drain your lymphatic fluids and take your collagen supplements. But to truly glow, you must also practice mindfulness, self-care and, ideally, transcendental meditation, avoid processed junk and sleep at least eight hours every night.
Such are the exacting standards of a contemporary wellness culture that has swelled to encompass nearly every facet of life. Not just the serums we slather on our faces or the Pilates classes we scurry off to but the food we eat (always whole foods), the bowel movements we pass (must be “firm and beautifully formed”) and the very thoughts we let enter our minds (intentional ones only).
It sounds like a lot of work. Or one might say it sounds like a lot of work — if it were not so incumbent on a well woman to be perpetually at ease.
After talking to Ms. Larocca, 49, for an hour, I learned she did not do everything a well woman should. She tries to sleep a lot. She exercises regularly. And yes, she wears an Oura ring, the latest in wearable tech for tracking one’s blood oxygen rate, body temperature and other biometrics.
But she does not observe 12-step routines of any kind. She is aware of the fact that dry-brushing may be a great way to exfoliate but that it probably does not drain your lymphatic fluid.
Sometimes, she participates in what she calls “recreational wellness,” something she knows is not likely to achieve what it promises but that nonetheless brings her some form of pleasure. Ms. Larocca, who spent 20 years at New York magazine in various roles including fashion director, is no stranger to the intensely human draw to believe that some of these practices will give her a control over her life and her body that she knows is fundamentally unattainable — which may be the emotional core of our wellness obsession.
This conversation, which took place over a matcha latte and an iced green tea, has been edited for length and clarity.
Going into your book, I had a much more narrow view of what wellness was. But I was compelled by your more capacious understanding of this world.
Wellness is really silly exercise classes. It’s also underserved communities talking about how no one takes their health seriously. We can talk about the way the beauty industry uses wellness as a “get-out-of-jail-free” card when it wants to pretend it’s feminist. We can talk about weird colonic therapists. We can talk about wellness as a socially acceptable term for eating disorders. There are 90 million ways to have a wellness conversation. In the end, I tried to say, wellness is all of this and we just live in this messed-up soup.
At this point, it seems hard to draw any firm boundaries around wellness.
Sometimes you see this when you go to these new medical practices. You’re like, “Am I at a spa? A gym? A boutique hotel? At the doctor? In a Kate Hudson movie?”
You started this book before Covid. How was your idea of wellness shaped by the pandemic?
It quickly became clear who was getting sick and who was dying from Covid. So the concept that was driving the project — coming at it from the perspective of someone who has written about fashion and style all these years — was that wellness had become this thing where we’re being sold our own bodies with the same marketing techniques that people use to sell handbags or shoes or lipstick. It’s incredibly dangerous to live in a society that treats health like a luxury product.
I liked that you pointed out some of the inconsistencies contained within wellness culture. At one point, you mention the concept of a single well-intentioned cigarette — a little indulgence.
It’s because all of these things reside within privilege. There’s a term, the narcissism of small differences. The things that make someone unwell are so much bigger than whatever little wellness protocol. They’re these larger socioeconomic factors.
Something I was thinking about as I read was the gendered aspect of wellness, and wellness as a kind of bonding exercise among women — sharing your insecurities, how you want to self-improve, these personal routines.
I think it can be. Going to an exercise class with friends or to a spa — it’s definitely a bonding ritual for a lot of people. There are wellness social clubs, like Remedy Place. It can also be a form of entertainment or recreation. It’s just a question of understanding its position and your expectations. It’s important to say here: It’s not like I hate wellness. I also participate in a lot of it. I think wellness is too entrenched in our lives to be “pro” or “anti.”
I love the term “recreational wellness.” It seems to relate to an experience I often have, which is knowing something is not going to work but doing it anyway.
It’s a diversion. I exercise a lot — part of it is for recreation, part of it is for actual health. I used to do my red light stuff and drink my collagen. Now I’ve sort of whittled it down. Every once in a while, a friend of mine will call me and be like, “My life has been changed by bovine colostrum!” And I’m like, “I need bovine colostrum!”
Recently, I was in a pharmacy filled with beautiful skin care products in an upscale part of Los Angeles. I knew I did not need anything, but I wanted it. And an elegant woman was floating around the store offering to help customers find what suited them.
It can really make you feel cared for and cosseted. It can feel really nice!
I thought about how it would feel to have all of these things in my medicine cabinet. I would feel like one of the fancy women walking around this neighborhood. Which goes back to the luxury aspect.
It’s the same feeling of, “if I purchase this bag. …”
Why is the pull so strong? We often know consciously that these products are not going to do what they say they will.
Wouldn’t it be so great if they did, though? And in the absence of credible information from actual experts, there’s this incredible opportunity. We want it to be true, and there’s a loss of faith in the systems that are supposed to be protecting us and informing us. And it’s on the left and the right. A lot of the Moon Juice products and the Infowars supplements have some of the same types of ingredients. The message on both sides is, “Prepare yourself for the collapse of the world! Wellness will save us from these terrible inevitabilities!”
Something about knowing that there is so much snake oil and bad information out there can also amplify the feeling that somewhere, hidden among these thousands of products, are maybe the two or three that “actually work.”
Totally! I’m like, “Sometime, one of these Bobbi Brown emails is going to have that tip!” And what if that was the time I didn’t click?
Lifestyle
DMV artist turns belts into a conversation about discipline
Artist Lex Marie taken by Stephen L.A Miller
hide caption
toggle caption
Multidisciplinary artist Lex Marie has gone viral on TikTok and Instagram for her artwork confronting discipline within Black households.
At Lex Marie’s art studio, a belt is no longer just a belt.
I met the multidisciplinary artist in Washington, D.C., at the American University’s Katzen Arts Center.
She led me to her studio, where some belts are stretched across a canvas in meticulously organized rows and columns.
Others are used as a tool. Marie dips them in paint and swings them like a brush, leaving thick, violent marks across a white canvas.
Marie says each piece of work carries a story about childhood, discipline, survival and the complicated ways love can be expressed.
She is building a body of work that confronts a topic many families know well but rarely discuss openly: corporal punishment in Black households.
“I’m critiquing discipline in Black households specifically,” Marie says. “But I’m trying to tackle the history behind discipline in black households, behind spankings and whippings, and speak to the difference in how millennials are raising their children as well.”
The work is personal for her. Marie is 33 and the mother of an eight-year-old boy. As her son continues to grow, she says the questions that shape her art often come directly from her parenting.
“Through motherhood, I’m starting to think about my own childhood, and I’m comparing and contrasting it. So some of these works are just speaking from my experiences with spankings, and they’re also going from the perspective of how I feel.”
One of the larger works in the series is called “Watch Your Tone.” The six-by-six-foot piece is composed entirely of belts — dozens of them — arranged carefully across the canvas. They are an assortment of different shades of brown, black and pink to represent the color of flesh.
The title of the piece echoes a phrase many children hear growing up: “Watch your tone when talking to me.”
But Marie says the belts also represent something deeper.
She explains that she created this piece to convey multiple meanings. The different skin tones help her explain the different ways punishment is tied to American history.
For some historians and scholars, the conversation around corporal punishment in Black American households cannot be separated from the legacy of slavery. During enslavement, physical violence, such as being beaten with whips, was used to control Black bodies. Over generations, those discipline practices have evolved into modern parenting practices.
Yohuru Williams, founding director of the Racial Justice Initiative at the University of St. Thomas, believes that the link between corporal punishment and African Americans is rooted in slavery.
“This idea of whipping, this idea that black bodies require extreme punishment — that there’s something about the constitution of blackness that requires excessiveness in terms of discipline — has deep roots. Roots that extend beyond slavery. But it [was] really reinforced by the enslavement of Africans. And then once they come to the United States, you have this adoption of punishment systems within slavery that continue after slavery; that continue that process with that practice of brutalization of … black and brown bodies,” he said.
“Because I Love You, another piece in Marie’s series, highlights the physical act of enforcing punishment.
Marie painted a wooden panel white, dipped a belt in acrylic paint and struck the surface again and again, leaving marks scattered across the piece like scars and welts.
“I spent hours just kind of beating the same thing over and over,” she said.
The process left her physically sore the next day.
The piece’s title comes from a phrase many children hear after a whipping: “This hurts me more than it hurts you” or “I’m doing this because I love you.”
Marie explains how making this work has been cathartic and difficult. When the videos of her art began circulating online, the reactions were immediate.
Thousands of people commented on her post, sharing their own childhood stories. Some were painful and defensive, while others were grateful the topic was being discussed.
But Marie stands firm that the goal of this work isn’t to accuse or shame. It creates space for a conversation that is often buried.
Williams says that in order to have these discussions, Black families have to reimagine how they think about discipline.
“I think a lot of parents — black parents — struggle with this because there is this inherent knowledge that this is the way that we came up. And there is this belief that, well, you know, … maybe we’re more stable, maybe we’re more durable, maybe we’ve been able to endure more. We’ve developed a particular type of grip because of this experience,” Williams said.
Williams says it’s time to have an “honest” conversation about the historical legacy of corporal punishment within the Black community. “That would be far more communal and affirmative of human dignity and the dignity of black life,” he said. “Coming out of the Black Lives Matter movement, you kind of look back at this, and you go, ‘We understand it from a historical standpoint.’ But from a humanistic and community-centered, restorative justice practices standpoint, there’s something that just doesn’t sit right with me about this practice. And I think we owe it to ourselves as a community to revisit that.”
Marie sees her art as a pathway to discuss extremely difficult and triggering conversations about childhood trauma, especially for people who might struggle to find the words themselves — just like her.
The project will continue to grow over the next year as Marie develops more pieces for a planned exhibition this fall. The series has nearly 20 pieces, and she has even sold two to filmmaker Spike Lee, who is known for his films Do the Right Thing and Malcolm
X
Lex Marie has a solo show at The Bishop gallery in Brooklyn, New York this fall which will feature this series.
For Marie, the most important outcome isn’t agreement. It’s recognition.
This story was edited by Olivia Hampton and produced by Nia Dumas. The digital story was written by Nia Dumas.
Lifestyle
Faith’s role in U.S. politics ‘requires humility,’ not certainty, says Sen. Warnock
U.S. Sen. Raphael Warnock, D-Ga., attends a rally opposing the SAVE America Act outside the U.S. Capitol on March 18 in Washington.
Heather Diehl/Getty Images
hide caption
toggle caption
Heather Diehl/Getty Images
Sen. Raphael Warnock, a Georgia Democrat, became the state’s junior U.S. senator over a decade after he was selected to serve as senior pastor of Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia, a church that was once led by the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. His role as a senator brought him to Washington National Cathedral in 2023, where he marked Juneteenth that year with a sermon framed around the life of the prophet Isaiah.
“Every valley shall be exalted, every mountain and hill shall be made low, the crooked places shall be made straight, the rough places smooth, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together,” Warnock said during the sermon.
Warnock expands on that message in his new book, The Crooked Places Made Straight: Reflections on the Moral Meaning of America, where he argues that democracy is “the political enactment of a spiritual idea.”
In an interview with Morning Edition host Michel Martin, Warnock said the country’s divisions are less political than moral. “What we’re dealing with right now is not the difference between right and left, it’s really the difference between right and wrong,” Warnock said. He added that “it’s really too bad when my party cedes so much of the faith and values space … to those on the right.”
In his conversation with Martin, he explains why he believes faith should confront systemic injustice, not just personal behavior, and calls for a broader moral imagination in American politics.
Listen to the interview by clicking on the blue play button above.
Lifestyle
Inside the L.A. club where dads swap kid chaos for golf and grounding exercises
To understand the gravitational pull toward golf, consider the sport as a sequence of problems. Aaron Singleton, a skilled player in the Dads Link Golf Club, is playing particularly well today at Palos Verdes Golf Course, having just hit two back-to-back birdies. But even on the shots that fly into a grassy oblivion, he smiles.
-
Share via
“Golf is 18 different holes. 18 different chances to solve a problem,” he says. “Each hole presents a different problem. Each shot is a different problem.” According to Singleton, this wisdom that players inherit on the golf course — especially resilience and patience — translates to fatherhood.
Singleton, who has a 3-year-old son, is part of a growing group of fathers who participate in the Dads Link Golf Club. The club is part of the region’s golf boom; Southern California Golf Assn. is estimated to have one of the largest memberships in the country, with over 200,000 golfers.
Ian Davis, the founder of Dads Link and Golf Club, watches his drive.
Ian Davis is the founder of Los Angeles’ Dads Link Golf Club. Each month, he invites fathers to enjoy golf together to focus on fellowship, fatherhood and their well-being.
“This has grown in a way that I couldn’t have imagined,” says Davis, who works as a wellness coach with an emphasis in mindfulness and meditation. He started the club in 2023 on the East Coast before relocating it to Los Angeles in January 2024, where the club hosts an annual Father’s Day tournament and various golf clinics.
At the driving range, Davis leads the group through “a grounding practice” that involves stretching and deep breathing. Member Ose Akhile, a personal trainer, follows up with stretching and other warm-up exercises. For many of the men, golf has become a rediscovered hobby. Singleton returned to the sport after playing it as a teenager. “I’m looking forward to getting better,” he says.
Club member Darius Ingram, father of 3-year-old daughter, says that reconnecting with the game has allowed him to prioritize his own well-being.
“I used to play golf recreationally. Now, I do it for mental stability,” he says.
Ian Davis greets Ose Akhile as Darius Ingram stands nearby.
Ian Monteilh, who is new to the group and has two daughters ages 11 and 15, says the outing provides camaraderie that was missing from his life.
“It’s a community that I didn’t have. I’m blessed to be around like-minded men with no pressure,” he says. “Even if we’re having a rough day on a golf course, there’s camaraderie.”
Once considered a predominantly white sport, golf is now being reshaped by a new generation of Black players and other players of color, including many of the fathers in Dads Link Golf Club. In 2024, 25% of golfers across courses nationally were Black, Asian and Latino, marking the most diverse era in the sport’s history, according to the National Golf Foundation.
“It’s a lot less pretentious — more diverse, more access for all different types of people,” says Ingram, who noticed a shift in golfing culture in recent years. Despite Tiger Woods’ storied career as one of the sport’s most impactful athletes, Black men remain underrepresented in top tournaments.
Darius Ingram reacts to barely missing a putt on the 18th green as Ian Davis watches.
Ingram partly attributes Black men’s interest in golf to renewed interest from other professional athletes. Star athletes like Michael Jordan and Steph Curry — who also happen to be dads — are skilled golfers.
“There are a lot of people who play their main sport, and they play golf when they retire,” says Ingram.
Ose Akhile smiles before teeing off.
Rappers like Schoolboy Q and DJ Khalid have also become interested in the sport, adding to its cachet.
The benefits of the groups are apparent, explains Akhile, who has three daughters, ages 6, 7 and 9.
“I’m outside — fresh air, sunshine, a break for my family. I get to decompress,” he says. Describing himself as a “Caribbean baby,” he explains that the ocean waves have a hypnotic effect on him. As the golfers move along the Palos Verdes course, the ocean stretches beyond them.
“Nature helps a lot with stress relief. There’s a lot of green grass and quiet out here. I love my child, but it’s hard to hear her yell, ‘Dad!’ every three seconds,” says Singleton. During the game, he stays calm while a squirrel approaches him. “Me and nature are one with each other,” he says. Behind him, a baby coyote prances into the fog.
Singleton adds that in the chaos of fatherhood, friendships occasionally fall to the wayside.
“There’s so much to do. Everyone separated. It’s beneficial to have a group text, a fellowship like this, where you can hear someone going through the same thing as you,” Singleton says.
Akhile agrees. “These are probably the only guys that understand the day-to-day stressors and pressures of my life,” he says.
Ose Akhile, Darius Ingram, Ian Monteilh, Ian Davis, Aaron Singleton and other Dads Link and Golf members have breakfast together.
After finishing nine holes, the men enjoy breakfast burritos. They joke that they will begin ranking the golf courses in the L.A. area by the quality of their breakfast burritos. Meanwhile, Davis leads the group through a conversation about fatherhood. Each month he chooses one dad to be the focus. This morning that’s Ingram. He speaks on being a father and how it relates to golf.
“I’m not as good as I want to be, so there’s frustration there,” Ingram says, referring to the challenges of parenting. He adds that to “right things” he doesn’t like about himself, he focuses on how his efforts could result in his daughter becoming a better version of him. The men offer encouragement as birds circle above. The sun pierces through the fog.
Monteilh looks up and jokes: “The only birdies I saw today were in the sky.”
-
World4 minutes agoVideo: Among Mexico’s World Cup Fans: Merlin the Duck
-
Lifestyle42 minutes agoDMV artist turns belts into a conversation about discipline
-
Technology52 minutes agoThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes is a great last-minute Father’s Day gift
-
World57 minutes agoAnti-G7 protest turns violent as demonstrators torch Tesla and smash UN office windows
-
Politics1 hour agoDems pick potential successor to DC’s congressional delegate after decades-long incumbency
-
Health1 hour agoBride in full wedding gown makes 2-hour hospital trip to see her mother before the ceremony
-
Sports1 hour agoBest Of World Cup: Top Fan Moments, From Cape Verde’s Goats To Mexico’s Duck
-
Technology1 hour agoNew wheeled robot says no thanks to humanoid hype