Bowen Yang on Wild Card.

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Mike Coppola/Getty

Bowen Yang on Wild Card.

Mike Coppola/Getty

The Pop Culture Happy Hour team is off today, so we’re bringing you an episode of the NPR podcast Wild Card with Rachel Martin. This episode is an interview with Bowen Yang. He is the first Chinese American cast member on SNL, the co-host the podcast Las Culturistas, and he starred in the rom-com Fire Island. He talks to Rachel about living too much in the present, hard truths from Tina Fey, and why the afterlife should have a rollercoaster.

Liz Metzger produced the encore version of this episode.

When you figure in the high cost, endless lines, height restrictions and miles of walking, does it ever make sense to take a preschooler to Disneyland?

Yes, as long as their adults adjust their expectations, plan carefully and slow waaay down. Because, let’s face it, most preschoolers are too young to understand what Disneyland is all about. It’s the parental (and grandparental) excitement and expectations that are really driving this visit.

Case in point: When we took my Seattleite granddaughter to Disneyland for her fourth birthday, her parents and I spent most of the time watching her reactions, which, I must admit, were pretty gratifying.

Following the advice of Disneyland enthusiasts and L.A. Times readers, we were right in front when the park opened its gates. We were making a beeline to Fantasyland when out of the corner of my eye I saw Minnie and Mickey Mouse waving by the train station. Ordinarily, with my teen (and now adult) kids, nothing would have deterred us from racing to our favorite ride. But this was my granddaughter’s first visit, and all she really knew about Disneyland was that it was Mickey Mouse’s home. How could we ignore this introduction?

So we turned, which was hard, since she was already laser focused on Sleeping Beauty Castle, but when she finally saw Mickey and his gang cavorting just a few feet away, she reared back and started shaking so hard I feared she was going into shock. She couldn’t approach them or even wave; she just stared and vibrated, like an awestruck cartoon character with her finger in a light socket.

Meeting Mickey and Minnie was an emotional start to the day.

(Jae C. Hong / Associated Press)

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I wanted photos, but her parents and I were so busy wiping away our tears we could barely hold the camera. It was a pretty intense start to the morning, and we had barely left the entrance.

“Going when they’re preschoolers may be the best time, because everything is a wonderment at that age,” said Kristen Carr, of Orange, a “Disney mom” of four (ages 10, 9 and 6-year-old twins) who podcasts, blogs and organizes Disney-related activities.

Don’t expect to go on massive thrill rides with preschoolers, Carr said, “but many of the rides feel very well suited for children 3 to 4. Some of my most fun memories are from when my kids were that age.”

Most of the 35 readers who responded to our question “What can you do with a preschooler at Disneyland?” agreed with Carr. Only four said taking preschoolers to Disneyland was a waste of money and time; the rest came down squarely in the plan-ahead-and-you’ll-love-it camp. We followed most of their top tips when we made this Disneyland pilgrimage and almost all were winners. Plus, we discovered rides and experiences at the park we’d never really noticed before.

1. Adjust your expectations

Focus on visiting just one park, and missing most of the big rides. We were in Disneyland from 8 a.m. until 9 p.m., but between rests, meals, more rests and endless lines, we only managed eight rides — the carousel, Storybook Land and Casey’s Railroad in Fantasyland, the junior roller coaster in Toontown (after an hour wait to visit Minnie at her house), the Thunder Mountain roller coaster, Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage (almost too scary), the Jungle Boat Cruise and the Winnie the Pooh ride, plus the Tiki Room, the Toontown playground and the parade.

Chip ‘n’ Dale’s Gadget’s Go Coaster at Toontown is a good introduction to roller coasters for small children — although larger adults may feel crippled for hours after having wedged themselves into the seats.

(Irfan Khan / Los Angeles Times)

But we had no meltdowns and she was smiling when we left. (Of course, she was also carrying a new toy purchased just before our departure, but you know, what are grandmothers for?) If the adults must go on a big-person ride, make sure you have someone in your party to take the preschooler to something they’ll enjoy — in my case, we bought a balloon, ate some pre-packed snacks and watched the parade (which she loved) while her parents waited 90 minutes for their first ride on Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance (which they loved).

2. Get a stroller

OK, I wasn’t going to do this because I’ve always hated the herd of strollers blocking everyone’s path in Disneyland, but Carr said it was an absolute must, even for her 6-year-old twins, and most of our readers agreed. The kids start out strong, but when they get tired (which happens quickly for little legs), your choices are to carry them or try to find a quiet bench for a nap (good luck). So we rented a big-kid stroller ($38 for 24 hours), which was delivered to our hotel, and it gave us a place to stash our snacks, extra clothing, and a cuddly blanket so she could relax later in the day. Worth every penny.

The sea of strollers at Disneyland, here at the King Arthur Carrousel, was long a subject of scorn in my family until we discovered their value in keeping young children happy (and as a place to stash all our gear).

(Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)

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Carr notes: If you don’t have your own, rent a good sturdy stroller outside the park; Disney’s are hard plastic and not very comfortable, she said. Umbrella strollers are too little for big kids and back breakers for whoever is pushing them. Plus, you won’t have to wait in line at Disneyland to rent and return a stroller. Our stroller was delivered to the hotel about 30 minutes before our departure, and all we had to do was leave it at the front desk when we returned that evening, which was a godsend since we had to walk back to the hotel.

3. Pack water and non-sugary snacks

You can get plenty of sweet stuff at Disneyland, “but a lot of sugar equals a lot of breakdowns” for little ones, Carr said. Bring a small cooler loaded with water, apple slices, carrot sticks, grapes and/or sandwiches, but also do yourself a favor, Carr said: If your child has a favorite snack they eat every day, be sure you pack some of that too.

4. Arrive early, before the park opens

In our case, that meant leaving our off-site hotel at 7 a.m. and running the gauntlet through metal detectors, bag searches and guard dogs so we could be at the gates when they opened at 8 a.m. People who stay in park hotels might be able to enter even earlier. The point is to get in early, before the crowds and head for Fantasyland first, which has the greatest concentration of little-kid rides but also the worst lines once the park starts filling up. Several Fantasyland rides, like Pinocchio, are too dark and scary for preschoolers, but once you get your fill of the sunnier ones, Carr said, you can stop mid-morning, have a late breakfast and plan out the rest of your day.

5. Download the Disneyland app

With preschoolers, I’m not convinced it’s worth the extra $35-$50 per person to get the Genie+ and Lightning Lane passes that let you skip the line at the most popular rides, but the free Genie app is mandatory for ordering food (so you don’t wait in yet another line to eat), keeping track of special events in the park and seeing what rides have the longest lines or are shut down. Pro tip: Bring a portable phone charger.

6. Prep your child for what to expect

The Storybook Land Canal Boats almost resulted in a major meltdown when the boat left while we waited in line. Our 4-year-old Disneyland newbie didn’t understand that new boats would keep coming.

(Todd Martens / Los Angeles Times)

We almost had a meltdown at the first ride, when my granddaughter thought the boat we were waiting for at the Storybook Land canal left without us. It took about four boats coming and going before she began to understand that their appearance was continuous and we would eventually get our turn to climb aboard. Nothing will truly prepare them for the experience IRL, but you can at least explain how the rides and lines work and show them some photos of what they’ll see.

7. Gird your loins and watch your spending

The nickle-and-diming at Disneyland is intense. Preschoolers want just about everything they see, and doting adults are eager to oblige, but between $30 Ariel bubble wands (which need refilling almost immediately), $20 Mickey Mouse balloons, $30 Star Wars stuffies and $50 sweatshirts, it’s easy to overspend. One of the biggest lures for little ones is the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique, where “magical makeovers for royalty-in-training ages 3-12” start at $100, a fee that includes a princess hairstyle, nail polish, sash, T-shirt and “shimmering makeup and face gem.” The prices go up from there, to nearly $500 for all of the above, plus a princess gown, tiara and satin hanger (every preschooler’s dream). There’s also the $80 Deluxe Knight Package, which includes a knight costume, gel hairstyling and a “mighty sword and shield.”

Emily San Miguel, 6, beams as she shows off her fancy “Belle” dress at Disneyland, but the price of a princess “makeover” can have a decidedly different effect on adult pocketbooks.

(Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times)

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Here’s where advance planning can pay off, Carr said. She bought her daughter’s favorite princess gown online for a fraction of the park price, showed it to her the morning of their trip and let her wear that to the park. They still visited the boutique, she said, but only to get a free sprinkling of pixie dust (a.k.a glitter) anyone can request. I can’t emphasize this enough: Plan ahead for what purchases are a must ($6.50 bowls of Dole Whip are non-negotiable in my family) and let your children and accompanying adults know they can’t have everything they want.

Bonus: The lasting memories may surprise you

With two nights at an off-site hotel ($525), four admissions to the park (only $602, thanks to a short-time $50 deal for young children), meals, treats and souvenirs, our one-day visit in early February cost about $1,500, or $375 per person. That’s an eye-popping figure, but truth be told, we had a lot of fun, and if we’d curbed our souvenir shopping and been willing to spend nearly three hours driving home after a long day at the park, it could have been at least $300 cheaper.

Note this, because four months after our trip, I asked my granddaughter, “What was your favorite part about Disneyland?” Her answer was immediate: When the servers at Café Orleans brought her a tiny cake — basically three blobs of whipped cream in the shape of Mickey Mouse’s head — with a little candle on top. We all sang happy birthday while she beamed and blew the candle out, and that precious moment came free of charge.

Ted Danson speaks onstage on June 5, 2024.

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for the Environment

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Jesse Grant/Getty Images for the Environment

Ted Danson speaks onstage on June 5, 2024.

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for the Environment

A note from Wild Card host Rachel Martin:

I started watching The Good Place with my kids. It was sort of born out of guilt that I didn’t take them to church, honestly. I decided that the very least – and I mean the very least – I could do to prevent complete moral decay, was to watch a show that sandwiched real ethical questions between jokes about frozen yogurt and the infinite nature of the universe.

What really captivated my kids was the idea throughout the show that people are both good and bad. We are both things all the time. Some of us are a little more of one than the other, but you get the point. Ted Danson is one of the best representations of this. He plays Michael, who’s a bad guy, playing a good guy, who actually becomes a good guy, who’s still a little bit bad.

In that lies the real joy of a Ted Danson performance, because you can see this duality in so many of his roles. He’s a happy-go-lucky guy with a quick wit and a quicker smile, and then you start to see the cracks in that sunny demeanor. There’s a darkness underneath all that goodness that gives his characters depth.

You see this duality with Sam Malone on Cheers, Hank Larsson in Fargo and even when he played a version of himself in Curb Your Enthusiasm. He’s all light and fun, and then you see that little twinkle in his eye, that unforgettable smirk, how he literally skips into scenes and you have to wonder if everything is as it appears. So I invited him on Wild Card to find out.

Danson has a new podcast with his former Cheers co-star, Woody Harrelson, called Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes).

This Wild Card interview has been edited for length and clarity. Host Rachel Martin asks guests randomly-selected questions from a deck of cards. Tap play above to listen to the full podcast, or read an excerpt below.

Question 1: What was your form of rebelling as a teenager?

Ted Danson: I’m not 100 percent sure I ever rebelled as a teenager. I brought my parents to their knees when I was 45. But, as a teenager, I smoked cigarettes.

Rachel Martin: That’s rebellious.

Danson: Yeah, my father’s museum in Arizona had this huge Hopi bowl full of sand right outside the door with a sign that said, “No smoking.” People would get out of their car, light a cigarette, walk five feet and have to stick it out. We’d watch them from our hiding place and we’d scamper up, grab the cigarette before it was put out and run back into the canyon and smoke.

I guess that’s rebellion. I’m milquetoast, I’m telling you, but it came later.

Martin: So now I have to go there. When you were 45, you brought your parents to their knees?

Danson: Well, I won’t be too specific, but I didn’t really grow up emotionally until I was in my 40s, and I was a bit of a liar in my relationship. I’ll leave it at that. And I started to work on myself very seriously around that time. I went to clinics and a psychologist and a mentor. I worked very hard to not be that person who hid his emotions and left out the back door.

So that was all kind of messily in the press, and my poor parents were going, “What?” And I finally called them and they were very sweet and they came to support me and everything. The press sounded horrible. But the work underneath the press was invaluable. I’m very glad for that time, even though it was messy – very messy.

Question 2: If you got a do-over for one decision in your life, what would it be?

Danson: I wouldn’t.

Martin: You wouldn’t?

Danson: I wouldn’t choose a do-over. You know, if I did something differently and I took a different path, I wouldn’t be with my wife, Mary Steenburgen. I am horribly embarrassed about many things in my past, things that are cringeworthy, but that’s my life.

Martin: Were you always so accepting of that, or has that been an evolution for you to look back at your life and those mistakes and embarrassments and errors and say, “It’s okay?”

Danson: Well, I wish I hadn’t become a liar and walked out the back door early in life. I wish that hadn’t been me, but even your wounds, you kind of have fondness for if you’ve gone through them and live through it and acknowledged it and made amends and all that stuff.

Martin: Did your wife, Mary, have a hard time accepting those wounds?

Danson: No. First of all, I’m one of those people that obnoxiously vomits their life out on people.

Martin: Like, on your first date?

Danson: Literally the day I met her.

Martin: She accepted you for all the things?

Danson: Yeah, from day one. I was like a convert to truth. And our life together is so empty of secrets. If there’s even a moment when I didn’t exactly tell the truth, it’s so devastating to me that I immediately grind to a halt and say, “I got to talk to you.” Being truthful, it greases the skids of life. But our life together is very full of laughter and joy. We’re very blessed.

Question 3: How often do you think about death?

Danson: Ooh, a lot. I don’t like living in fear, and I have tons of it, you know, it comes up. I just finished filming A Classic Spy and I was having so much fun doing it that halfway through I was going, “Oh, don’t die. Let me finish this.”

But then I went, “Wait a minute, what you’re really saying is that you are so happy to be doing what you’re doing, you’re so joyful, having so much fun, don’t take it away from me, life,” you know?

So instead of being fearful, just say thank you. Thank you for this blessing that I have. Thank you for this job. Thank you for whatever, because then I can live in gratitude, which is more joyful and I don’t have to live in fear.