Lifestyle
7 genius tips for avoiding preschooler meltdowns (and bankruptcy) at Disneyland
When you figure in the high cost, endless lines, height restrictions and miles of walking, does it ever make sense to take a preschooler to Disneyland?
Yes, as long as their adults adjust their expectations, plan carefully and slow waaay down. Because, let’s face it, most preschoolers are too young to understand what Disneyland is all about. It’s the parental (and grandparental) excitement and expectations that are really driving this visit.
Case in point: When we took my Seattleite granddaughter to Disneyland for her fourth birthday, her parents and I spent most of the time watching her reactions, which, I must admit, were pretty gratifying.
Craft an epic visit to Disneyland and California Adventure with our comprehensive guide.
It’s full of expert tips and fresh perspectives.
Following the advice of Disneyland enthusiasts and L.A. Times readers, we were right in front when the park opened its gates. We were making a beeline to Fantasyland when out of the corner of my eye I saw Minnie and Mickey Mouse waving by the train station. Ordinarily, with my teen (and now adult) kids, nothing would have deterred us from racing to our favorite ride. But this was my granddaughter’s first visit, and all she really knew about Disneyland was that it was Mickey Mouse’s home. How could we ignore this introduction?
So we turned, which was hard, since she was already laser focused on Sleeping Beauty Castle, but when she finally saw Mickey and his gang cavorting just a few feet away, she reared back and started shaking so hard I feared she was going into shock. She couldn’t approach them or even wave; she just stared and vibrated, like an awestruck cartoon character with her finger in a light socket.
Meeting Mickey and Minnie was an emotional start to the day.
(Jae C. Hong / Associated Press)
I wanted photos, but her parents and I were so busy wiping away our tears we could barely hold the camera. It was a pretty intense start to the morning, and we had barely left the entrance.
“Going when they’re preschoolers may be the best time, because everything is a wonderment at that age,” said Kristen Carr, of Orange, a “Disney mom” of four (ages 10, 9 and 6-year-old twins) who podcasts, blogs and organizes Disney-related activities.
Don’t expect to go on massive thrill rides with preschoolers, Carr said, “but many of the rides feel very well suited for children 3 to 4. Some of my most fun memories are from when my kids were that age.”
Most of the 35 readers who responded to our question “What can you do with a preschooler at Disneyland?” agreed with Carr. Only four said taking preschoolers to Disneyland was a waste of money and time; the rest came down squarely in the plan-ahead-and-you’ll-love-it camp. We followed most of their top tips when we made this Disneyland pilgrimage and almost all were winners. Plus, we discovered rides and experiences at the park we’d never really noticed before.
1. Adjust your expectations
Focus on visiting just one park, and missing most of the big rides. We were in Disneyland from 8 a.m. until 9 p.m., but between rests, meals, more rests and endless lines, we only managed eight rides — the carousel, Storybook Land and Casey’s Railroad in Fantasyland, the junior roller coaster in Toontown (after an hour wait to visit Minnie at her house), the Thunder Mountain roller coaster, Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage (almost too scary), the Jungle Boat Cruise and the Winnie the Pooh ride, plus the Tiki Room, the Toontown playground and the parade.
Chip ‘n’ Dale’s Gadget’s Go Coaster at Toontown is a good introduction to roller coasters for small children — although larger adults may feel crippled for hours after having wedged themselves into the seats.
(Irfan Khan / Los Angeles Times)
But we had no meltdowns and she was smiling when we left. (Of course, she was also carrying a new toy purchased just before our departure, but you know, what are grandmothers for?) If the adults must go on a big-person ride, make sure you have someone in your party to take the preschooler to something they’ll enjoy — in my case, we bought a balloon, ate some pre-packed snacks and watched the parade (which she loved) while her parents waited 90 minutes for their first ride on Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance (which they loved).
2. Get a stroller
OK, I wasn’t going to do this because I’ve always hated the herd of strollers blocking everyone’s path in Disneyland, but Carr said it was an absolute must, even for her 6-year-old twins, and most of our readers agreed. The kids start out strong, but when they get tired (which happens quickly for little legs), your choices are to carry them or try to find a quiet bench for a nap (good luck). So we rented a big-kid stroller ($38 for 24 hours), which was delivered to our hotel, and it gave us a place to stash our snacks, extra clothing, and a cuddly blanket so she could relax later in the day. Worth every penny.
The sea of strollers at Disneyland, here at the King Arthur Carrousel, was long a subject of scorn in my family until we discovered their value in keeping young children happy (and as a place to stash all our gear).
(Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)
Carr notes: If you don’t have your own, rent a good sturdy stroller outside the park; Disney’s are hard plastic and not very comfortable, she said. Umbrella strollers are too little for big kids and back breakers for whoever is pushing them. Plus, you won’t have to wait in line at Disneyland to rent and return a stroller. Our stroller was delivered to the hotel about 30 minutes before our departure, and all we had to do was leave it at the front desk when we returned that evening, which was a godsend since we had to walk back to the hotel.
3. Pack water and non-sugary snacks
You can get plenty of sweet stuff at Disneyland, “but a lot of sugar equals a lot of breakdowns” for little ones, Carr said. Bring a small cooler loaded with water, apple slices, carrot sticks, grapes and/or sandwiches, but also do yourself a favor, Carr said: If your child has a favorite snack they eat every day, be sure you pack some of that too.
4. Arrive early, before the park opens
In our case, that meant leaving our off-site hotel at 7 a.m. and running the gauntlet through metal detectors, bag searches and guard dogs so we could be at the gates when they opened at 8 a.m. People who stay in park hotels might be able to enter even earlier. The point is to get in early, before the crowds and head for Fantasyland first, which has the greatest concentration of little-kid rides but also the worst lines once the park starts filling up. Several Fantasyland rides, like Pinocchio, are too dark and scary for preschoolers, but once you get your fill of the sunnier ones, Carr said, you can stop mid-morning, have a late breakfast and plan out the rest of your day.
5. Download the Disneyland app
With preschoolers, I’m not convinced it’s worth the extra $35-$50 per person to get the Genie+ and Lightning Lane passes that let you skip the line at the most popular rides, but the free Genie app is mandatory for ordering food (so you don’t wait in yet another line to eat), keeping track of special events in the park and seeing what rides have the longest lines or are shut down. Pro tip: Bring a portable phone charger.
6. Prep your child for what to expect
The Storybook Land Canal Boats almost resulted in a major meltdown when the boat left while we waited in line. Our 4-year-old Disneyland newbie didn’t understand that new boats would keep coming.
(Todd Martens / Los Angeles Times)
We almost had a meltdown at the first ride, when my granddaughter thought the boat we were waiting for at the Storybook Land canal left without us. It took about four boats coming and going before she began to understand that their appearance was continuous and we would eventually get our turn to climb aboard. Nothing will truly prepare them for the experience IRL, but you can at least explain how the rides and lines work and show them some photos of what they’ll see.
7. Gird your loins and watch your spending
The nickle-and-diming at Disneyland is intense. Preschoolers want just about everything they see, and doting adults are eager to oblige, but between $30 Ariel bubble wands (which need refilling almost immediately), $20 Mickey Mouse balloons, $30 Star Wars stuffies and $50 sweatshirts, it’s easy to overspend. One of the biggest lures for little ones is the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique, where “magical makeovers for royalty-in-training ages 3-12” start at $100, a fee that includes a princess hairstyle, nail polish, sash, T-shirt and “shimmering makeup and face gem.” The prices go up from there, to nearly $500 for all of the above, plus a princess gown, tiara and satin hanger (every preschooler’s dream). There’s also the $80 Deluxe Knight Package, which includes a knight costume, gel hairstyling and a “mighty sword and shield.”
Emily San Miguel, 6, beams as she shows off her fancy “Belle” dress at Disneyland, but the price of a princess “makeover” can have a decidedly different effect on adult pocketbooks.
(Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times)
Here’s where advance planning can pay off, Carr said. She bought her daughter’s favorite princess gown online for a fraction of the park price, showed it to her the morning of their trip and let her wear that to the park. They still visited the boutique, she said, but only to get a free sprinkling of pixie dust (a.k.a glitter) anyone can request. I can’t emphasize this enough: Plan ahead for what purchases are a must ($6.50 bowls of Dole Whip are non-negotiable in my family) and let your children and accompanying adults know they can’t have everything they want.
Bonus: The lasting memories may surprise you
With two nights at an off-site hotel ($525), four admissions to the park (only $602, thanks to a short-time $50 deal for young children), meals, treats and souvenirs, our one-day visit in early February cost about $1,500, or $375 per person. That’s an eye-popping figure, but truth be told, we had a lot of fun, and if we’d curbed our souvenir shopping and been willing to spend nearly three hours driving home after a long day at the park, it could have been at least $300 cheaper.
Note this, because four months after our trip, I asked my granddaughter, “What was your favorite part about Disneyland?” Her answer was immediate: When the servers at Café Orleans brought her a tiny cake — basically three blobs of whipped cream in the shape of Mickey Mouse’s head — with a little candle on top. We all sang happy birthday while she beamed and blew the candle out, and that precious moment came free of charge.
Lifestyle
It Started with a Midnight Swim and a Kiss Under the Stars
When Marian Sherry Lurio and Jonathan Buffington Nguyen met at a mutual friend’s wedding at Higgins Lake, Mich., in July 2022, both felt an immediate chemistry. As the evening progressed, they sat on the shore of the lake in Adirondack chairs under the stars, where they had their first kiss before joining others for a midnight plunge.
The two learned that the following weekend Ms. Lurio planned to attend a wedding in Philadelphia, where Mr. Nguyen lives, and before they had even exchanged numbers, they already had a first date on the books.
“I have a vivid memory of after we first met,” Mr. Nguyen said, “just feeling like I really better not screw this up.”
Before long, they were commuting between Philadelphia and New York City, where Ms. Lurio lives, spending weekends and the odd remote work days in one another’s apartments in Philadelphia and Manhattan. Within the first six months of dating, Mr. Nguyen joined Ms. Lurio’s family for Thanksgiving in Villanova, Pa., and, the following month, she met his family in Beavercreek, Ohio, at a surprise birthday party for Mr. Nguyen’s mother.
Ms. Lurio, 32, who grew up in Merion Station outside Philadelphia, works in investor relations administration at Flexpoint Ford, a private equity firm. She graduated from Dartmouth College with a bachelor’s degree in history and psychology.
Mr. Nguyen, also 32, was born in Knoxville, Tenn., and raised in Beavercreek, Ohio, from the age of 7. He graduated from Haverford College with a bachelor’s degree in political science and is now a director at Doyle Real Estate Advisors in Philadelphia.
Their long-distance relationship continued for the next few years. There were dates in Manhattan, vacations and beach trips to the Jersey Shore. They attended sporting events and discovered their shared appreciation of the 2003 film, “Love Actually.”
One evening, Mr. Nguyen recalled looking around Ms. Lurio’s small New York studio — strewed with clothes and the takeout meal they had ordered — and feeling “so comfortable and safe.” “I knew that this was something different than just sort of a fling,” he said.
It was an open question when they would move in together. In 2024, Ms. Lurio began the process of moving into Mr. Nguyen’s home in Philadelphia — even bringing her cat, Scott — but her plans changed midway when an opportunity arose to expand her role with her current employer.
Mr. Nguyen was on board with her decision. “It almost feels like stolen valor to call it ‘long distance,’ because it’s so easy from Philadelphia to New York,” Mr. Nguyen said. “The joke is, it’s easier to get to Philly from New York than to get to some parts of Brooklyn from Manhattan, right?”
In January 2025, Mr. Nguyen visited Ms. Lurio in New York with more up his sleeve than spending the weekend. Together they had discussed marriage and bespoke rings, but when Mr. Nguyen left Ms. Lurio and an unfinished cheese plate at the bar of the Chelsea Hotel that Friday evening, she had no idea what was coming next.
“I remember texting Jonathan,” Ms. Lurio said, bewildered: “‘You didn’t go toward the bathroom!’” When a Lobby Bar server came and asked her to come outside, Ms. Lurio still didn’t realize what was happening until she was standing in the hallway, where Mr. Nguyen stood recreating a key moment from the film “Love Actually,” in which one character silently professes his love for another in writing by flashing a series of cue cards. There, in the storied Chelsea Hotel hallway still festooned with Christmas decorations, Mr. Nguyen shared his last card that said, “Will you marry me?”
They wed on April 11 in front of 200 guests at the Pump House, a covered space on the banks of Philadelphia’s Schuylkill River. Mr. Nguyen’s sister, the Rev. Elizabeth Nguyen, who is ordained through the Unitarian Universalist Association, officiated.
Although formal attire was suggested, Ms. Lurio said that the ceremony was “pretty casual.” She and Jonathan got ready together, and their families served as their wedding parties.
“I said I wanted a five-minute wedding,” Ms. Lurio recalled, though the ceremony ended up lasting a little longer than that. During the ceremony, Ms. Nguyen read a homily and jokingly added that guests should not ask the bride and groom about their living arrangements, which will remain separate for the foreseeable future.
While watching Ms. Lurio walk down the aisle, flanked by her parents, Mr. Nguyen said he remembered feeling at once grounded in the moment and also a sense of dazed joy: “Like, is this real? I felt very lucky in that moment — and also just excited for the party to start!”
Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: I loved someone who felt he couldn’t be fully seen with me
He always texted when he was outside. No call, no knock. It was just a message and then the soft sound of my door opening. He moved like someone practiced in disappearing.
His name meant “complete” in Arabic, which is what I felt when we were together.
I met him the way you meet most things that matter in Los Angeles — without intending to. In our senior year at a college in eastern L.A. County, we were introduced through mutual friends, then thrown together by the particular gravity of people who recognized something in each other. He was a Muslim medical student, conservative and careful and funny in the dry, precise way of someone who has always had to choose his words. I was loud where he was quiet, messy where he was disciplined. I was out. He was not.
I understood, or thought I did. I thought that I couldn’t get hurt if I was completely conscious throughout the endeavor. Los Angeles has a way of making you feel like the whole world shares your freedoms — until you realize the city is enormous, and not all of it belongs to you in the same way.
For months, our world was confined to my apartment. He would slip in after dark, and we’d stay up late talking about his family in Iran, classical music and the particular pressure of being the son someone sacrificed everything to bring here. He told me things he said he’d never told anyone, and I believed him.
The orange glow from my Nesso lamp lit his face while the indigo sky pressed against the window behind him. In our small little world, we were safe. Outside was another matter.
On our first real date, I took him to the L.A. Phil’s “An Evening of Film & Music: From Mexico to Hollywood” program. I told him they were cheap seats even though they were the first row on the terrace. He was thrilled in the way only someone who doesn’t expect to be delighted actually gets delighted — fully, without guarding it. I put my arm around his shoulders. At some point, I shifted and moved it, and he nudged it back. He was OK with PDA here.
I remember thinking that wealth is a great barrier to harm and then feeling silly for extrapolating my own experience once again. Inside Walt Disney Concert Hall, we were just two people in love with the same music.
Outside was still another matter.
In February, on Valentine’s Day, he took me to a Yemeni restaurant in Anaheim. We hovered over saffron tea surrounded by other young Southern Californians, and we looked like friends. Before we went in, we sat in the parking lot of the strip mall — signs in Arabic advertising bread, coffee, halal meats, the Little Arabia District — hand in hand. I leaned over to kiss him.
“Not here,” he said. His eyes shifted furtively. “Someone might see.”
I understood, or told myself I did, but I was saddened. Later, after the kind of reflection that only arrives in the wreckage, I would understand something harder: I had been unconsciously asking him to choose, over and over, between the people he loved and the person he loved. I had a long pattern of choosing unavailable men, telling myself it was because I could handle the complexity. The truth was more embarrassing. I thought that if someone like him chose me anyway — chose me over the weight of societal expectations — it would mean I was worth choosing. It took me a long time to see how unfair that was to him and to me.
We went to the Norton Simon Museum together in November, on the kind of gray Pasadena day when the 210 Freeway roars in the background like white noise. He studied for the MCAT while I wrote a paper on Persian rugs. In between practice problems, he translated ancient Arabic scripts for me. I thought, “We make a good team.” Afterward, we walked through the galleries and he didn’t let go of my arm.
That was the version of us I kept returning to — when the ending came during Ramadan. It arrived as a spiritual reflection of my own. I texted: “Does this end at graduation — whatever we are doing?”
He thought I meant Ramadan. I did not mean Ramadan.
“I care about you,” he wrote, “but I don’t want you to think this could work out to anything more than just dating. I mean, of course, I’ve fantasized about marrying you. If I could live my life the way I wanted, of course I would continue. I’m just sad it’s not in this lifetime.”
I was in Mexico City when these texts were exchanged. That night I flew to Oaxaca to clear my head and then, after less than 24 hours, flew back to L.A. No amount of vacation would allow me to process what had just happened, so I threw myself back into work.
My therapist told me to use the conjunction “and” instead of “but.” It happened, and I am changed. The harm I caused and the love I felt. The beauty of what we made and the impossibility of where it could go. She gave me a knowing smile when I asked if it would stay with me forever. She didn’t answer, which was the answer.
I think about the freeways now, the way Joan Didion called them our only secular communion. When you’re on the ground in Los Angeles, the world narrows to the few blocks around you. Get on the freeway and you understand the whole body of the city at once: the arteries, the pulse, the scale of the thing.
You understand that you are a single cell in something enormous and moving. It is all out of your control. I am in a lane. The lane shaped how I drive. He was simply in a different lane, and his lane shaped him, and those two facts can coexist without either of us being the villain of the sad story.
He came like a secret in the night, and he left the same way. What we made in between was real and complicated and mine to hold forever, hoping we find each other in the next life.
The author lives in Los Angeles.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
Lifestyle
The Nerve Center of This Art Fair Isn’t Painting. It’s Couture.
The art industry is increasingly shaped by artists’ and art businesses’ shared realization that they are locked in a fierce struggle for sustained attention — against each other, and against the rest of the overstimulated, always-online world. A major New York art fair aims to win this competition next month by knocking down the increasingly shaky walls between contemporary art and fashion.
When visitors enter the Independent art fair on May 14, they will almost immediately encounter its open-plan centerpiece: an installation of recent couture looks from Comme des Garçons. It will be the first New York solo presentation of works by Rei Kawakubo, the brand’s founder and mastermind, since a lauded 2017 survey exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute.
Art fairs have often been front and center in the industry’s 21st-century quest to capture mindshare. But too many displays have pierced the zeitgeist with six-figure spectacles, like Maurizio Cattelan’s duct-taped banana and Beeple’s robot dogs. Curating Independent around Comme des Garçons comes from the conviction that a different kind of iconoclasm can rise to the top of New York’s spring art scrum.
Elizabeth Dee, the founder and creative director of Independent, said that making Kawakubo’s work the “nerve center” of this year’s edition was a “statement of purpose” for the fair’s evolution. After several years at the compact Spring Studios in TriBeCa, Independent will more than double its square footage by moving to Pier 36 at South Street, on the East River. Dee has narrowed the fair’s exhibitor list, to 76, from 83 dealers in 2025, and reduced booth fees to encourage a focus on single artists making bold propositions.
“Rei’s work has been pivotal to thinking about how my work as a curator, gallerist and art fair can push boundaries, especially during this extraordinary move toward corporatization and monoculture in the art world in the last 20 years,” Dee said.
Kawakubo’s designs have been challenging norms since her brand’s first Paris runway show in 1981, but her work over the last 13 years on what she calls “objects for the body” has blurred borders between high fashion and wearable sculpture.
The Comme des Garçons presentation at Independent will feature 20 looks from autumn-winter 2020 to spring-summer 2025. Forgoing the runway, Kawakubo is installing her non-clothing inside structures made from rebar and colored plastic joinery.
Adrian Joffe, the president of both Comme des Garçons International and the curated retailer Dover Street Market International (and who is also Kawakubo’s husband), said in an interview that Kawakubo’s intention was to create a sculptural installation divorced from chronology and fashion — “a thing made new again.”
Every look at Independent was made in an edition of three or fewer, but only one of each will be for sale on-site. Prices will be about $9,000 to $30,000. Comme des Garçons will retain 100 percent of the sales.
Asked why she was interested in exhibiting at Independent, the famously elusive Kawakubo said via email, “The body of work has never been shown together, and this is the first presentation in New York in almost 10 years.” Joffe added a broader philosophical motivation. “We’ve never done it before; it was new,” he said. Also essential was the fair’s willingness to embrace Kawakubo’s vision for the installation rather than a standard fair booth.
Kawakubo began consistently engaging with fine art decades before such crossovers became commonplace. Since 1989, she has invited a steady stream of contemporary artists to create installations in Comme des Garçons’s Tokyo flagship store. The ’90s brought collaborations with the artist Cindy Sherman and performance pioneer Merce Cunningham, among others.
More cross-disciplinary projects followed, including limited-release direct mailers for Comme des Garçons. Kawakubo designs each from documentation of works provided by an artist or art collective.
The display at Independent reopens the debate about Kawakubo’s proper place on the continuum between artist and designer. But the issue is already settled for celebrated artists who have collaborated with her.
“I totally think of Rei as an artist in the truest sense,” Sherman said by email. “Her work questions what everyone else takes for granted as being flattering to a body, questions what female bodies are expected to look like and who they’re catering to.”
Ai Weiwei, the subject of a 2010 Comme des Garçons direct mailer, agreed that Kawakubo “is, in essence, an artist.” Unlike designers who “pursue a sense of form,” he added, “her design and creation are oriented toward attitude” — specifically, an attitude of “rebellion.”
Also taking this position is “Costume Art,” the spring exhibition at the Costume Institute. Opening May 10, the show pairs individual works from multiple designers — including Comme des Garçons — with artworks from the Met’s holdings to advance the argument made by the dress code for this year’s Met gala: “Fashion is art.”
True to form, Kawakubo sometimes opts for a third way.
“Rei has often said she’s not a designer, she’s not an artist,” Joffe said. “She is a storyteller.”
Now to find out whether an art fair sparks the drama, dialogue and attention its authors want.
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