Health
Dementia warning: Don't ever say these 16 things to loved ones with the disease, experts advise
Dementia may be a disease of the mind, but its effects can be highly emotional.
Those suffering from cognitive decline can experience frequent changes in emotions and have less control over their feelings, according to the Alzheimer’s Society — which can make communication difficult.
“Most people do not have regular interactions with those living with dementia, so it can be hard to know the do’s and don’ts of what to say and how to behave,” Dana Eble, outreach manager for the Alzheimer’s Caregivers Network in Detroit, Michigan, told Fox News Digital.
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“Unfortunately, even the most well-meaning of interactions can lead to stress or confusion for someone experiencing cognitive decline.”
When communicating with a dementia patient, experts say it’s important to choose your language carefully and avoid certain phrases or questions, including the items on the list that follows.
Those suffering from cognitive decline can experience frequent changes in emotions and have less control over their feelings. (iStock)
1. ‘Don’t you remember?’
This topped the list as the worst question to ask someone with dementia, according to experts.
“This question can be frustrating or embarrassing for someone with dementia, as memory loss is a central symptom of their condition,” Timothy Frie, a nutritional neuroscientist in Atlanta, Georgia, who studies how traumatic stress causes neuroinflammation, told Fox News Digital.
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“It can make them feel inadequate or upset about their cognitive decline.”
Forcing the person to acknowledge that they don’t remember a memory or conversation can make them feel bad, added Christina Chartrand, the Florida-based vice president of Senior Helpers, a home care company that often helps dementia patients.
2. ‘Let me do that for you’
One of the hardest parts of having dementia is the daily realization of things that can no longer be done independently, according to Adria Thompson, a licensed speech-language pathologist in Massachusetts with 10 years of experience in dementia care.
It is best to avoid arguing or reasoning with someone with dementia, as it will likely anger and agitate them, experts said. (iStock)
“Often, well-meaning individuals might prematurely take over tasks without asking or assessing if they need to, which can diminish the person’s sense of autonomy,” she told Fox News Digital.
“Instead of assuming they can’t do something, it’s more respectful to offer help and let them tell you if they need it — and allow them to still do the things they can for as long as possible.”
3. ‘You’re wrong’
It is best to avoid arguing or reasoning with someone with dementia, as it will likely anger and agitate them, experts agreed.
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“People with dementia do not need to be corrected when they believe it’s Tuesday the 13th and not Monday the 1st,” Elizabeth Landsverk, M.D., a California-based geriatrician and founder of Dr Liz Geriatrics, an online education and support resource, told Fox News Digital.
“Keep the peace,” she advised. “It’s better than being right.”
4. ‘Would you like to make plans for next week?’
“As dementia patients lose their sense of time, they lose a frame of reference that would make this question meaningful to them,” said Leonie Rosenstiel, president of Dayspring Resources, Inc., in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which helps families of elders plan and cope with the problems of aging.
“Repeatedly pointing out that someone is repeating themselves can lead to feelings of frustration and self-consciousness” for that person, an expert said. (iStock)
“If you expect to do something with them at a particular time in the future, they will not be able to keep track of this appointment.”
To prevent frustration, Rosenstiel recommended ensuring that someone else can remember or write down the plans, and that those plans don’t conflict with activities such as medical appointments.
5. ‘You seem fine’
“Society often has a preconceived notion of what dementia looks and acts like, and if someone doesn’t fit that stereotype, it might seem tempting to use this phrase as a compliment,” noted Thompson.
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“However, this phrase can belittle the individual’s daily struggle and experiences.”
It’s important to be aware that symptoms and experiences can vary greatly among individuals with dementia, Thompson told Fox News Digital.
6. ‘I just told you that’ or ‘You already told me that’
Along the same lines of “Don’t you remember?” experts recommend not asking questions or making statements that are likely to upset the person.
Continually “pointing out that someone is repeating themselves can lead to feelings of frustration and self-consciousness,” said Frie.
“It’s better to gently redirect the conversation or respond as if it’s new information.”
Experts recommend not asking questions or making statements that are likely to upset the person. (iStock)
This is especially true in the middle stages of their disease, when patients may have moments when they know their brain isn’t working right, according to Jennifer Fink, a caregiver expert in California who facilitates support groups for the Alzheimer’s Association.
7. ‘How have you been feeling this week?’
This might seem like a natural question to ask if it’s been a week since you’ve visited a loved one or friend, and you’re trying to catch up.
Yet it could do more harm than good, Rosenstiel said.
“We ask each other questions like this all the time, but someone with dementia might not remember how they were feeling five minutes ago, let alone how they felt yesterday,” she warned.
“They might make something up, in an effort to satisfy you, or they might get frustrated or angry.”
“Instead of assuming they can’t do something, it’s more respectful to offer help and let them tell you if they need it — and allow people to still do the things they can for as long as possible,” an expert advised. (iStock)
8. ‘You’re not making any sense’
Criticizing dementia patients’ communication can damage their self-esteem and discourage them from expressing themselves, according to Michael Kramer, a long-term care educator and director of community relations for retirement residences that accommodate seniors with dementia.
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“Having patience and making an effort to understand their perspective helps to maintain their dignity and encourages open communication,” said Kramer, who is based in Ontario.
9. ‘Do you remember this?’
It’s best to avoid asking if the person recalls specific pieces of information, such a name or date or event, as it can put the person on the spot and feel like a test, experts said.
“Instead, start by introducing yourself,” Eble suggested — “something like, ‘Hey, Grandma, it’s Dana, your granddaughter!’ It might feel strange at first, but it will put your loved one at ease by reminding them of your name and connection to them.”
It’s best to avoid asking if the person recalls specific pieces of information, as it can put them on the spot and feel like a test, experts say. (iStock)
The same goes for events or memories, she said.
Instead of asking if they remember, start with “I remember when…” and then continue with your story.
“Those with dementia love reminiscing, but don’t frame it as a test of their memory,” Eble added.
10. ‘You’re being difficult on purpose’
This phrase is “hurtful and dismissive,” Kramer warned.
“It overlooks the fact that behavioral challenges are a result of the dementia itself, not intentional actions,” he said.
In some cases, phrasing activities as a question can cause confusion for a dementia patient, experts warned. (iStock)
“Using empathy and understanding instead of frustration is crucial in managing these situations.”
Labeling behavior as “difficult” can increase frustration and tension, Frie agreed.
“Understanding that challenging behaviors are often a symptom of the disease can help in responding with patience and empathy,” he said.
11. Using words like ‘bib’ or ‘diaper’
“As dementia progresses, caregivers may need to start using products to help with incontinence and/or to help make meal times easier,” Eble pointed out.
“Sometimes a limited choice is too much of an effort for a dementia patient.”
She recommended using positive language for these products, such as “protective underwear,” “cloth” or “apron.”
12. ‘Remember, she died last year, we went to the funeral…’
Reminding someone with dementia of the death of a loved one can be upsetting, as the person is likely not retaining this information, according to Kate Granigan, a geriatric social worker and president of the Aging Life Care Association Board in Boston.
Reminding someone with dementia of the death of a loved one can be upsetting, as the person is likely not to have retained this information. (iStock)
“This can trigger a grief response over and over again, as if the information is newly learned,” she told Fox News Digital.
Instead, she recommended saying something like, “It seems like you are really thinking about Uncle Harold today. Do you have a favorite memory from when you were kids?”
13. ‘That’s not how it happened’
“Dementia can cause confusion and altered perceptions of events,” said Kramer.
“Correcting someone sharply can increase their distress and confusion.”
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Instead, it’s better to validate their experiences and gently guide them rather than insisting on correctness, the expert recommended.
14. ‘Do you want to [insert activity]?’
In some cases, phrasing activities as a question can cause confusion for a dementia patient, according to Eble.
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“If you’re the primary caregiver in charge of your loved one’s toileting, showering, feeding or sleeping schedule, instead of asking ‘Do you want to,’ lead with ‘Let’s go to the [bathroom, shower, kitchen],’” she recommended.
“Adding that bit of direction will help maintain their schedule.”
15. ‘What would you like to wear today?’
Open-ended choices may leave a dementia patient confused or frustrated, noted Rosenstiel.
“They also might have no idea whether they’ll need a sweater or not, because they don’t remember what they heard on a weather report an hour ago,” she told Fox News Digital.
Open-ended choices may leave a dementia patient confused or frustrated, an expert advised. (iStock)
A more productive question might be, “Here’s a red sweater and a blue one. Which one would you rather wear?”
“Even then, sometimes a limited choice is too much of an effort for a dementia patient,” the expert said.
16. ‘Get your coat and shoes, grab your bag and meet me by the door’
Long sentences with multiple parts or commands can be overwhelming and confusing for someone with dementia, according to Granigan.
“It is more successful to provide one short direction or piece of information at a time,” she told Fox News Digital.
“Pause between each and guide the person through the task if needed before starting the next.”
Over the two and a half years following the 2022 rollout of the 988 national suicide prevention hotline, the rate of suicides among young people in the United States dropped 11 percent below projections, decreasing most sharply in states with a higher volume of answered 988 calls, a new study has found.
The findings, published today as a research letter in JAMA, compared suicide deaths from July 2022 to December 2024 with sophisticated mathematical projections that were based on historical trends. This yielded good news, with 4,372 fewer suicides of adolescents and young adults, ages 15 to 34, than had been projected.
To ensure that the decline was related to the use of the hotline, researchers at Harvard Medical School teased out the trends in states with high and low usage of the hotline. The findings were striking: The 10 states with the largest increases in 988 calls experienced an 18.2 percent reduction in observed suicides compared with expected suicides; in the 10 states with the lowest uptake, the reduction was smaller, 10.6 percent.
The results suggest that the government’s investment in the 988 rollout has translated into “a measurable reduction of deaths,” said Dr. Vishal Patel, a resident physician at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and one of the authors of the study.
“What our study has added,” he said, “is evidence for the deeper benefit of the program, and that is, that at the population level, among young people at least, suicide mortality is lower than it would have been without the program.”
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He added, “The implication of that is that sustained funding for this program matters.”
The United States rolled out the three-digit hotline with bipartisan support in July 2022, replacing a 10-digit hotline number, and augmented it with a $1.5 billion investment in crisis center capacity. Since its inception, the service has fielded more than 25 million contacts, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. The agency has asked Congress for $534.6 million to fund the program for 2027.
Last summer, the Trump administration terminated one element of the hotline, the Press 3 option for L.G.B.T.Q.+ callers. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration said that the Press 3 option was being discontinued because it had exhausted its funding from Congress and that the hotline would “focus on serving all help seekers.”
But advocacy groups and policymakers protested the decision, and in testimony before the Senate on Tuesday, the health secretary, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., said his agency was planning to restore the Press 3 option.
Dr. Patel said his group had become curious about measuring the program’s effectiveness after Press 3 was eliminated. While call volume and satisfaction surveys suggested that 988 was succeeding, he said, the harder question was, “Did the creation of this 988 program, the transition from the old hotline to this hotline, actually move the needle on suicide mortality?”
Experts said it was difficult to tease out the beneficial effect of 988 from other things that changed in 2022, the year that the new hotline was created. Around that time, suicide prevention programs were being introduced in schools, in faith communities and on social media, but more important, the pandemic was ending.
“We were finally out of this crazy time, and there was a sense of optimism and hope,” said Jonathan B. Singer, a professor of social work at Loyola University Chicago and a co-author of “Suicide in Schools.” He called the downward trend in youth suicides “encouraging, but it is tempered by the fact that we don’t have a good explanation as to why.”
The authors acknowledged that their findings could not account for the influence of social and economic changes, changes in mental health services or public awareness about services.
But they did make comparisons to exclude other possible explanations. The authors looked for similar effects among American adults over 65, who are less likely to use the hotline. In that group, there was a reduction in suicides that exceeded expectations, but it was smaller, at just 4.5 percent.
To ensure the decline in suicides did not reflect a general improvement in young-adult mortality, the researchers tracked cancer deaths, and found there was no change. They also looked at the rates of suicide among young people in England, where no change had been made to the national crisis line in that time period; they found no reduction in youth suicides there.
Hannah Wesolowski, chief advocacy officer for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, said she was persuaded that the hotline had contributed to the improvement in suicide rates, in part because it did not appear among English youths or in older Americans.
“To me, that really helps hone in that this might really be the differentiator,” she said. “We are seeing potentially a pretty significant decline in suicides among young people. For public policy, this is strong evidence to double down on that we are doing.”
Emily Hilliard, a senior press secretary at the Department of Health and Human Services, said H.H.S. and SAMHSA are “committed to ensuring that all Americans have access” the 988 line, which she said “clearly provides lifesaving support, helping millions of people every year.”
If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or go to SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources.
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A highly contagious digestive virus is surging across the U.S., experts warn.
Rotavirus, a double-stranded RNA virus, causes acute gastroenteritis — inflammation of the stomach and intestines — which can lead to severe diarrhea, vomiting, fever and stomach pain.
The virus primarily affects infants and young children, but there have also been outbreaks in elderly populations, such as nursing homes.
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Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that in the week ending April 4, out of 2,329 rotavirus tests, 7.3% were positive for the infection. Last year’s highest infection rate was 6.77% as of the week ending April 19.
Rotavirus, a double-stranded RNA virus, causes acute gastroenteritis — inflammation of the stomach and intestines — which can lead to severe diarrhea, vomiting, fever and stomach pain. (iStock)
“We’re seeing a lot of rotavirus in the wastewater right now,” Dr. Marc Siegel, Fox News senior medical analyst, confirmed to Fox News Digital. “Testing for rotavirus is way down, but the percentage of positive tests is up.”
While the virus typically peaks in the spring, it is not currently slowing down, he noted.
Why cases may be rising
Patricia Pinto-Garcia, M.D., a medical editor at GoodRx who is based in California, said there are several possible reasons for the rotavirus spike.
“Vaccine rates are down overall among young children, as they decreased during COVID,” she told Fox News Digital. “This means there’s a growing number of infants and young children who are vulnerable to infection.”
The rotavirus vaccine series must be completed by the time a child is 8 months old, she noted.
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As a result of the declining vaccinations, herd immunity isn’t protecting vulnerable children, according to Pinto-Garcia. “Children who haven’t finished the vaccine series yet, are too young to get vaccinated, or can’t get the vaccine due to medical illness are more likely to get exposed to the illness because other children aren’t vaccinated,” she said.
Siegel noted that before the vaccine became available, rotavirus resulted in 55,000 to 70,000 in the U.S. per year.
“Vaccine rates are down overall among young children, as they decreased during COVID,” a doctor told Fox News Digital. “This means there’s a growing number of infants and young children who are vulnerable to infection.” (iStock)
“I am concerned that the vaccination rate has been declining over the past seven years and is continuing to decline in the current climate of vaccine skepticism,” he said.
Surveillance methods are also much better than they used to be, Pinto-Garcia noted, which means public health experts are able to pick up and track cases better than ever before.
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“But we see that rotavirus-related healthcare visits are also up, so improved detection is not the only reason we are seeing this spike,” she said.
The COVID pandemic also disrupted the pattern of infections, according to Pinto-Garcia, so it’s “tricky” to compare the current levels against older cycles.
“It’s possible that what we are seeing is still some post-pandemic rebound, but it’s unlikely that this year’s pattern is fully explained by just this factor,” she added.
Transmission and risk
Dr. Zachary Hoy, a pediatric infectious disease specialist at Pediatrix Medical Group based in Nashville, Tennessee, often sees young patients with rotavirus.
“Rotavirus is spread via the fecal-oral route, meaning that a person comes into contact with virus droplets from contact with other children or adults, or from contact with objects such as toys that have been contaminated with the virus from someone who is sick,” he told Fox News Digital. “This can lead to outbreaks, especially at schools where many young children share the same toys.”
“It’s possible that what we are seeing is still some post-pandemic rebound, but it’s unlikely that this year’s pattern is fully explained by just this factor.”
Rotavirus is associated with many dehydration cases in the hospital due to the degree of diarrhea, according to Hoy.
In some severe cases, the virus can lead to seizures due to electrolyte imbalances from dehydration and loss of electrolytes in the stool.
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“Younger children do not have the reserves that older children and adults have, so they can become more dehydrated quicker and develop more severe electrolyte imbalances, leading to more severe infections,” Hoy said.
“Patients with problems with their immune systems or on medications that can decrease their immune systems can have more severe and prolonged infections, too.”
Treatment and care
Because rotavirus is a viral infection, antibiotics are not effective against it. There is no specific antiviral treatment for the condition, with doctors typically recommending supportive care.
“The mainstay of treatment is hospitalization for rehydration via intravenous (IV) fluids,” Hoy told Fox News Digital. “Sometimes it can take up to two to three days of IV fluids to help get patients rehydrated.”
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Blood draws are often necessary to evaluate patients’ electrolyte levels, such as sodium, potassium, calcium and magnesium, according to the doctor.
“If these electrolyte levels are significantly low, sometimes patients need special IV solutions or individual electrolyte medications,” he added.
“The mainstay of treatment is hospitalization for rehydration via intravenous (IV) fluids,” a doctor told Fox News Digital. (iStock)
Dr. Daniel Park, medical director of the Pediatric Emergency Department at UNC Health in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, noted that most children recover with supportive care, but parents should seek medical attention if a child shows signs of dehydration. Those include decreased urination, lethargy or inability to keep fluids down.
“While rare, rotavirus can be life-threatening in vulnerable populations, especially very young infants or children with underlying medical conditions,” Park told Fox News Digital.
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Prevention strategies
Given the lack of antiviral medications for rotavirus, doctors emphasize the importance of prevention, primarily the vaccine.
There are two rotavirus vaccines – Rotateq (a three-dose series) and Rotarix (a two-dose series). They are given starting at age 2 months as oral drops, not injections, according to Hoy.
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“It’s important to get the rotavirus vaccines on schedule, because these younger infants are at greatest risk if they get rotavirus,” he advised.
Other recommended prevention methods include handwashing with soap and water.
Every day we’re faced with a zillion small choices: Go to sleep early, or watch one more episode of that Netflix drama. Call an old friend to catch up, or cruise social media. Of course, no single action will guarantee a long, healthy life or doom you to an early grave. But those little daily decisions do add up, and over the long term they can make a difference when it comes to both your longevity and your health span, the amount of life spent in relatively good health.
Scroll through this theoretical “day in the life” and select the option that best fits your typical day. Not every situation will apply perfectly, but think about which choice you’d be most likely to make. This isn’t a formal scientific assessment. The goal here isn’t to assign you a “good” or “bad” score, but to help you understand the central factors that shape the way we age and how long we live.
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