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Why exercise can make you feel like yourself again – no mum guilt allowed

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Why exercise can make you feel like yourself again – no mum guilt allowed

As a new mum – or a parent of any age – it’s hard to find time to exercise. You’re likely spinning lots of plates on little sleep, and there’s a tiny person who needs you.

It’s a plight HELLO!’s homes editor Rachel Avery knows all too well. Her little one is seven weeks old and she shared that during her 20-minute workout this morning, she needed to pause twice to tend to her baby.

It’s not just newborns that are a barrier when it comes to mums working out, though. “As a parent you are responsible for the logistics of more people, and with this comes scheduling constraints,” says personal trainer Nicole Chapman. “You may have limited childcare available and lack of support or understanding of the mental and physical load of motherhood.”

Nicole Chapman specialises in helping mums get back into fitness

Exercise and mum guilt

Nicole explains that ‘mum guilt’ can enter the equation too. “It’s a very natural feeling. You may feel guilty for going to work, so when you aren’t working you think all the time should be spent with your children, or you may feel judged if you take time away from the kids.”

Our changing bodies

Nicole explains that not being used to your new body can act as a barrier to postnatal exercise. “As a new mum, what is often not considered is that it is normal to feel a disconnection to your body postpartum.

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“Combine this with feeling sleep-deprived and overwhelmed and you might feel less attractive and even a sense of loss of identity. Stretch marks, weakness in your pelvic floor, leaking nipples and a body that still looks pregnant once you have given birth. You have a right to not feel sexy!” Nicole laments.

Mother doing yoga at home surrounded by children© Getty
There are barriers for new mums when it comes to working out

“Take each day at a time, understand that these feelings are ok and might even stem from unrealistically high beauty standards we’ve had to navigate through our whole lives, and that impact on our mindset.

“Knowing that this is normal can in itself power you up to change that mindset to have a new respect for your body and admiration for all it has done for you and your baby.”

DISCOVER: I’m a personal trainer and here’s how to reset your approach to exercise 

If you are looking to get back into exercise, Nicole has some stellar advice.

 1. Focus on new goals

“Focus on non-aesthetic goals when it comes to working out,” Nicole suggests. “Find something you enjoy and celebrate the wins along the way as you get fitter and stronger.”

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Baby boy (6-11 months) assisting mother performing yoga in livingroom© Getty
Finding time to work out is tricky!

Of her own goals, Nicole says: “I no longer chase a figure on a scale – I chase personal bests. I set myself goals and challenge myself and everything else falls into place. It can be very easy to forget yourself through motherhood, so please remember that you are important too.

2. Keep it consistent

Consistency is key and if you can establish an achievable weekly routine, with balanced healthy eating, you will hit your weight loss and fitness goals, advises Nicole. “Patience will be your best friend.”

Routine is important if you are struggling to find time to exercise, says Nicole. “Put it in your diary as a meeting. Establish healthy habits and goals that fit into your lifestyle – do not change your life to fit them if it doesn’t make you truly happy.”

 READ: Brain fog? Try this super simple way to clear it 

If a lack of time is keeping you from working out, remember that even just 10 minutes of movement a day can be a total game changer for energy, mood and fitness.

Nicole explains that studies show that the intensity of the workout doesn’t dictate the benefits it has on your mood, so with this in mind, you can choose the physical activity based on your energy levels, time and present mood to support you best mentally as opposed to assuming HIIT being the answer, when indeed a walk in fresh air may be just what the doctor ordered.

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Jogging and running are fitness recreations© Alamy
Finding time to work out can be a challenge

“By adapting to what best serves you, you are more likely to build regular activity into your week in a way that is maintainable,” she adds.

3. Remember exercise is self-care

Self-care doesn’t have to mean soaking in the bath, it can equate to prioritising yourself, in whichever way you need that day.

“Recognise this and put yourself back on the priority list. You cannot pour from an empty cup!” implores Nicole.

 DISCOVER: I went for a walk every day – here’s what it did to my stress levels 

“Finding the time for yourself, feeling the independence and knowing you’re exercising for you, your body and your mind will see your family reap the benefits also. You’ll be a mum with renewed energy and a boost of confidence that exercise brings.”

Nicole adds that you’ll likely feel like a better parent if you make time for yourself to work out, explaining: “Through fitness you can build a body you fall in love with, grow your confidence and increase your energy so you’re fit enough to meet the demands of motherhood, be it playing with the kids, jumping on a trampoline or completing a physical challenge you thought was unattainable.

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“Exercise can give a sense of fulfilment away from motherhood or career achievements. Transforming your physical and mental health so you can bring the best of you into each and every day – which is rather empowering.”

4. Ask for help

“Ask for help when you need it and communicate with your partner or support network,” advises Nicole. “We often feel the need to juggle it all without asking for help. But by having support and getting that time for yourself, your family will benefit from a happier, heathier mum.”

Nicole Chapman is the creator of the 6-week online workout programme, Power of Mum, designed to empower women to be fitter and stronger in body and mind, through strength training and metabolic conditioning. Her next programme starts 19 February 2024.

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Fitness

How the 3-3-3 Rule Helped Me Stick to an Exercise Routine

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How the 3-3-3 Rule Helped Me Stick to an Exercise Routine

If you’ve ever started a new workout routine with the best intentions only to find yourself skipping sessions by week two, you’re not alone. I’m the type to get trapped in the same cycle of burnout, where I go hard for a couple of weeks, feel exhausted, feel guilty, and repeat. For me, what finally broke that cycle wasn’t a new gym membership or a fancy fitness app, but a simple scheduling hack: the “3-3-3 rule.” I’d seen this rule applied it to general productivity, and all the same principles can apply to your fitness habits, too. Here’s how you can use the 3-3-3 rules to structure your workouts and create a habit that sticks.

What is the 3-3-3 rule?

The 3-3-3 “rule” (or “method,” or “gentle suggestion”) is essentially a weekly workout framework built around three types of movement, each done three times per week:

  • Three strength training sessions. This includes lifting weights, bodyweight circuits, resistance bands, whatever builds muscle and challenges your body.

  • Three cardio sessions. This includes running, cycling, swimming, jump rope, a dance class—what counts as “cardio” is up for debate, but here, I think of it as anything that gets your heart pumping.

  • Three active recovery days. This includes light walking, yoga, stretching, foam rolling, and so on.

And yes, I realize this math adds up to nine intentional days of movement across a seven-day week. Here’s the thing: You do double duty some days, or skip workouts here and there, or adjust to a nine-day cycle, because the point isn’t rigid scheduling. The point is rhythm over a strict structure. For me, the 3-3-3 rule provides a sense of momentum that’s flexible enough to fit into real life, but consistent enough to actually stick to.

Why the 3-3-3 rule works for me

Before I get into how the 3-3-3 rule helped me specifically, let’s talk about why so many workout plans fall apart in the first place. I believe most of them make two classic mistakes. The first is doing too much, too soon. You go from zero to six days a week at the gym, you get burnt out, and the whole thing unravels. The second mistake is having no real structure at all—just vague intentions, like “I’ll work out when I can,” which never materializes into anything real for a lot of people.

For me, the 3-3-3 rule solves both of those problems. It gives me enough structure to build habit and momentum, but not so much intensity that my body and brain feel overwhelmed. I personally adore running, but I struggle to motivate myself to lift weights; the 3-3-3 rhythm here helped me find a middle ground between those two workouts. When I know I have three strength sessions to hit in a week (or nine-ish day cycle), I can look at my calendar and find three slots without too much drama or dread.

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There’s also plenty of breathing room built into the plan, which was the biggest game changer for me. I used to have the (toxic) thought that my rest days were wasted days, which is a mentality that led to either overtraining or complete inactivity with pretty much no middle ground.

Plus, there’s something psychologically satisfying about the number three. I know and love the rule of threes in photography, comedy, survival tips, and all over the place.

How to make a 3-3-3 workout schedule work for you

The 3-3-3 rule has a ton of wiggle room for customization. Here are some ideas for how you can approach it:


What do you think so far?

For strength days, pick a format you actually enjoy. That might be a full-body circuit, a push/pull/legs split, or a class at your gym. (Boxing, anyone?) Your focus on these days should be a progressive challenge—push yourself, yes, but don’t obliterate yourself.

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For cardio days, variety helps. Mix a longer, easier effort with a shorter, more intense session (like a 20-minute interval run). I know I’m biased, but cardio really shouldn’t feel like punishment.

For recovery days, resist the urge to “make them count” by sneaking in extra work. The whole point is to let your body consolidate the gains from your harder days. Walk, stretch, breathe, and trust the process.

Another practical tip: Pick a night to map out your 3-3-3 week ahead of time. You’ll probably find that the week arranges itself pretty naturally once you’re looking for those nine windows.

The bottom line

As always, consistency should always be your priority in fitness. If you’ve been struggling to find a rhythm, if your past workout plans have always fizzled out around week three, give the 3-3-3 rule an honest four-week try. Maybe start with a 1-1-1 month! After all, the 3-3-3 rule isn’t a hack to totally transform your physique, but I do think it can provide something way more valuable. Finding a routine that works for you—like the 3-3-3 rule works for me—is the first step to make exercise a reliable, sustainable part of your life.

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I’m a running coach — I’ve just tested shoes actually designed for women’s feet, and they’re a total game changer

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I’m a running coach — I’ve just tested shoes actually designed for women’s feet, and they’re a total game changer

Why you can trust TechRadar


We spend hours testing every product or service we review, so you can be sure you’re buying the best. Find out more about how we test.

QLVR ENDVR: Two minute review

Most running shoes feel familiar for a reason: the formula has barely changed in millennia. We have archaeological evidence of shoes being fastened with “shoelaces” as far back as around 3,500 BC, yet the basic lace-up running trainer remains the default.

QLVR (pronounced “clever”) set out to challenge that. Its debut shoe, the ENDVR, is a laceless “running slipper” built around a women-specific mechanical structure, with a slip-on Wing Fit system inspired by the way a bird’s wing opens and closes around movement.

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Mere minutes of daily vigorous exercise can cut your risk of 8 diseases | CNN

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Mere minutes of daily vigorous exercise can cut your risk of 8 diseases | CNN

Move more. Sit less. For many years, that’s been accepted guidance for people wanting to get healthier.

Now that message is getting refined, with a growing body of research suggesting that certain types of movements may be more beneficial than others when it comes to health benefits.

The intensity of your exercise may matter as well. A new study published in the European Heart Journal found that a small amount of vigorous activity may be linked to lower risk of eight different chronic diseases.

The findings raise questions about why intensity matters and how people can incorporate more intense exercise routines into everyday life. To better understand the study’s implications, I spoke with CNN wellness expert Dr. Leana Wen, an emergency physician and clinical associate professor at George Washington University. She previously served as Baltimore’s health commissioner.

Before beginning any new exercise program, consult your doctor. Stop immediately if you experience pain.

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CNN: What did this study examine about exercise and its relationship to chronic disease?

Dr. Leana Wen: This investigation looked at how the intensity of physical activity is related to the risk of developing a range of chronic diseases. Researchers analyzed data from two very large groups in the UK Biobank, which is a long-term health study in the United Kingdom that tracks medical and lifestyle information from hundreds of thousands of participants. One group included about 96,000 people who wore wrist activity trackers that objectively measured their movement, and the other included more than 375,000 people who self-reported their activity.

The researchers followed participants over an average of about nine years and examined the development of eight conditions: major cardiovascular events, atrial fibrillation, type 2 diabetes, immune-related inflammatory diseases, fatty liver disease, chronic respiratory disease, chronic kidney disease and dementia, as well as overall mortality.

The key finding was that the proportion of activity done at vigorous intensity mattered. People who had more than about 4% of their total activity classified as vigorous had substantially lower risks of developing these conditions compared with people who had no vigorous activity at all. The numbers were stunning, with the participants having the following results:


  • 63% lower risk of dementia,

  • 60% lower risk of type 2 diabetes,

  • 48% lower risk of fatty liver disease,

  • 44% lower risk of chronic respiratory disease,

  • 41% lower risk of chronic kidney disease,

  • 39% lower risk of immune-mediated inflammatory diseases,

  • 31% lower risk of major cardiovascular events,

  • 29% lower risk of atrial fibrillation, and

  • 46% lower risk of death from any cause.

These results are amazing. Imagine if someone invented a medication that could reduce the risks of all these diseases at once — it would be very popular! Crucially, even people who exercised a lot still benefited if the proportion of time they spent doing vigorous physical activity was increased. Conversely, people who were relatively inactive also benefited from adding just a little bit of higher-intensity exercise to their daily routines.

CNN: What counts as “vigorous” physical activity?

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Wen: Vigorous activity is generally defined as exercise that substantially raises your heart rate and breathing. A simple way to gauge it is the “talk test.” If you can speak comfortably in full sentences while exercising, you are likely in the low to moderate range. If you are so out of breath that you can only say a few words at a time, that is vigorous.

Running, cycling, lap swimming or climbing stairs quickly could count. But this also depends on people’s baseline fitness. For some individuals, taking longer strides with walking can be vigorous exercise. Others who are already fairly fit would need to do more. It’s also important to remember that vigorous activity doesn’t have to be in the context of a structured exercise plan. Short bursts of effort in daily life, such as rushing to catch a bus or carrying heavy groceries upstairs, can also qualify if they raise your heart rate and make you breathless.

CNN: Why might higher intensity exercise provide additional health benefits?

Wen: Higher intensity activity places greater demands on the body in a shorter period. This type of movement can improve cardiovascular fitness, increase insulin sensitivity and support metabolic health more efficiently than lower-intensity activity alone. Some studies have also linked vigorous activity with cognitive benefits.

Greater intensity may have distinct benefits across different organ systems. The researchers found that some conditions, such as immune-mediated inflammatory diseases, appeared to be more strongly linked to the intensity of activity than to the total amount. On the other hand, type 2 diabetes and kidney disease were influenced by both how much activity people did and how intense it was. Why this is the case is not yet known, but intensity appears to have a significant impact across diseases affecting multiple organs.

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CNN: How much vigorous activity do people need?

Wen: The threshold for people seeing a benefit appears to be relatively low. The researchers found that once people reached more than about 4% of their total activity as vigorous, their risk of developing chronic diseases dropped substantially.

To put that into practical terms, we are not talking about professional athletes dedicating their lives to hours of high-intensity training. Everyday people may see benefits from just doing a few minutes of vigorous effort daily.

CNN: How can people realistically incorporate vigorous activity into their daily routines?

Wen: One helpful way to think practically is that vigorous activity does not have to happen all at once. It can be accumulated in short bursts throughout the day.

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People can take the stairs instead of the elevator and do so at a faster pace than usual. When they are heading to work, they can add some speed walking. They can park farther away when grocery shopping and walk briskly while carrying groceries.

Structured exercise also can incorporate intervals where people alternate between moderate and more intense effort. If you’re swimming laps, you can warm up at a more leisurely pace, then do a few laps at a faster pace, then again at a leisurely pace and repeat. This suggestion applies to any other aerobic exercise: Aim for multiple intervals of at least 30 seconds to a minute each where your body is working hard enough that you feel noticeably out of breath.

CNN: What about someone who is older or has mobility issues?

Wen: Not everyone can or should engage in high-intensity activity in the same way. Vigorous activity is relative to that person’s baseline. For someone who is not used to exercise, even a short period of slightly faster walking or standing up repeatedly from a chair could be considered high intensity. And not everyone may be able to walk. In that case, some exercises from the chair can have aerobic benefits.

Individuals who have specific medical conditions should consult with their primary care clinicians before embarking on a new exercise routine. People with mobility issues also may benefit from working with a physical therapist who can help to tailor exercises appropriate to their specific situation.

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CNN: What is the key takeaway for people trying to improve their health?

Wen: To me, the main takeaway from this study is that it’s not only how much total exercise you get but also how hard you push yourself that matters. And you don’t have to have a lot of high-intensity exercise: Adding just a little has substantial health benefits across a wide range of chronic health conditions.

At the same time, exercise needs be practical. People should look for opportunities to safely increase intensity in ways that fit their daily lives. The most effective approach to physical activity is a balanced one: Exercise regularly, incorporate more challenging activities when you can and build habits that are sustainable over time.

Get inspired by a weekly roundup on living well, made simple. Sign up for CNN’s Life, But Better newsletter for information and tools designed to improve your well-being.

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