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Why exercise can make you feel like yourself again – no mum guilt allowed

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Why exercise can make you feel like yourself again – no mum guilt allowed

As a new mum – or a parent of any age – it’s hard to find time to exercise. You’re likely spinning lots of plates on little sleep, and there’s a tiny person who needs you.

It’s a plight HELLO!’s homes editor Rachel Avery knows all too well. Her little one is seven weeks old and she shared that during her 20-minute workout this morning, she needed to pause twice to tend to her baby.

It’s not just newborns that are a barrier when it comes to mums working out, though. “As a parent you are responsible for the logistics of more people, and with this comes scheduling constraints,” says personal trainer Nicole Chapman. “You may have limited childcare available and lack of support or understanding of the mental and physical load of motherhood.”

Nicole Chapman specialises in helping mums get back into fitness

Exercise and mum guilt

Nicole explains that ‘mum guilt’ can enter the equation too. “It’s a very natural feeling. You may feel guilty for going to work, so when you aren’t working you think all the time should be spent with your children, or you may feel judged if you take time away from the kids.”

Our changing bodies

Nicole explains that not being used to your new body can act as a barrier to postnatal exercise. “As a new mum, what is often not considered is that it is normal to feel a disconnection to your body postpartum.

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“Combine this with feeling sleep-deprived and overwhelmed and you might feel less attractive and even a sense of loss of identity. Stretch marks, weakness in your pelvic floor, leaking nipples and a body that still looks pregnant once you have given birth. You have a right to not feel sexy!” Nicole laments.

Mother doing yoga at home surrounded by children© Getty
There are barriers for new mums when it comes to working out

“Take each day at a time, understand that these feelings are ok and might even stem from unrealistically high beauty standards we’ve had to navigate through our whole lives, and that impact on our mindset.

“Knowing that this is normal can in itself power you up to change that mindset to have a new respect for your body and admiration for all it has done for you and your baby.”

DISCOVER: I’m a personal trainer and here’s how to reset your approach to exercise 

If you are looking to get back into exercise, Nicole has some stellar advice.

 1. Focus on new goals

“Focus on non-aesthetic goals when it comes to working out,” Nicole suggests. “Find something you enjoy and celebrate the wins along the way as you get fitter and stronger.”

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Baby boy (6-11 months) assisting mother performing yoga in livingroom© Getty
Finding time to work out is tricky!

Of her own goals, Nicole says: “I no longer chase a figure on a scale – I chase personal bests. I set myself goals and challenge myself and everything else falls into place. It can be very easy to forget yourself through motherhood, so please remember that you are important too.

2. Keep it consistent

Consistency is key and if you can establish an achievable weekly routine, with balanced healthy eating, you will hit your weight loss and fitness goals, advises Nicole. “Patience will be your best friend.”

Routine is important if you are struggling to find time to exercise, says Nicole. “Put it in your diary as a meeting. Establish healthy habits and goals that fit into your lifestyle – do not change your life to fit them if it doesn’t make you truly happy.”

 READ: Brain fog? Try this super simple way to clear it 

If a lack of time is keeping you from working out, remember that even just 10 minutes of movement a day can be a total game changer for energy, mood and fitness.

Nicole explains that studies show that the intensity of the workout doesn’t dictate the benefits it has on your mood, so with this in mind, you can choose the physical activity based on your energy levels, time and present mood to support you best mentally as opposed to assuming HIIT being the answer, when indeed a walk in fresh air may be just what the doctor ordered.

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Jogging and running are fitness recreations© Alamy
Finding time to work out can be a challenge

“By adapting to what best serves you, you are more likely to build regular activity into your week in a way that is maintainable,” she adds.

3. Remember exercise is self-care

Self-care doesn’t have to mean soaking in the bath, it can equate to prioritising yourself, in whichever way you need that day.

“Recognise this and put yourself back on the priority list. You cannot pour from an empty cup!” implores Nicole.

 DISCOVER: I went for a walk every day – here’s what it did to my stress levels 

“Finding the time for yourself, feeling the independence and knowing you’re exercising for you, your body and your mind will see your family reap the benefits also. You’ll be a mum with renewed energy and a boost of confidence that exercise brings.”

Nicole adds that you’ll likely feel like a better parent if you make time for yourself to work out, explaining: “Through fitness you can build a body you fall in love with, grow your confidence and increase your energy so you’re fit enough to meet the demands of motherhood, be it playing with the kids, jumping on a trampoline or completing a physical challenge you thought was unattainable.

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“Exercise can give a sense of fulfilment away from motherhood or career achievements. Transforming your physical and mental health so you can bring the best of you into each and every day – which is rather empowering.”

4. Ask for help

“Ask for help when you need it and communicate with your partner or support network,” advises Nicole. “We often feel the need to juggle it all without asking for help. But by having support and getting that time for yourself, your family will benefit from a happier, heathier mum.”

Nicole Chapman is the creator of the 6-week online workout programme, Power of Mum, designed to empower women to be fitter and stronger in body and mind, through strength training and metabolic conditioning. Her next programme starts 19 February 2024.

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Fitness

At 72, Oprah swears by this specific move for full-body strength – here’s why it’s so effective

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At 72, Oprah swears by this specific move for full-body strength – here’s why it’s so effective

Oprah Winfrey, 72, has been vocal about her weight loss journey in recent years, revealing that maintaining fitness, particularly through strength training, has been crucial while using GLP-1s. Such is her love for these newfound fitness habits that she even did a 72-minute workout to celebrate her 72nd birthday earlier this year.

Now, the talk show host has taken to Instagram to share with her followers a specific strength move that has quickly become a staple in her routine: kettlebell swings.

Why are kettlebell swings effective?

‘Kettlebell swings are one of the most efficient movements because they combine strength, power and cardiovascular conditioning in one exercise,’ says Alice Jordan, a women’s strength and hormone health coach. ‘They target the posterior chain – glutes, hamstrings and lower back – which is especially important for women as we age, helping to improve posture, reduce back pain and support metabolism.’

Jordan adds that kettlebell swings ‘also elevate the heart rate quickly, making them ideal for busy women who want maximum results in minimal time,’ and that when incorporated into your routine correctly, they ‘can improve fat loss, core stability and overall functional strength, which carries over into everyday movement and injury prevention.’

Another key benefit that makes kettlebell swings such an effective movement for women as they age? ‘They help build explosive strength and bone density – both crucial for women during and after menopause.’

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How to do kettlebell swings

It’s important to take the time to properly learn the right technique – as Oprah said she did. Alongside the video she posted on Instagram of her performing the exercise, Oprah wrote ‘I first saw other people doing kettlebell swings so skillfully that I didn’t attempt them for at least a year! Now Trainer Peter is always right by my side to course correct me so I’m doing them right – and I think I finally got the swing of them.’

Explaining how to do kettlebell swings, Jordan says that ‘the movement should come from the hips, not the lower back or shoulders. Think about pushing your hips back, keeping your spine neutral, and then powerfully driving the hips forward. This helps target the glutes and reduces the risk of injury.’

When it comes to ensuring that you choose the right weight, Jordan adds that a ‘good starting point for most women is a kettlebell between 6-10kg – but the key is that it should feel challenging enough to drive the hips forward without using the arms.’

‘If you can easily lift it with your shoulders, it’s usually too light. Many beginners actually benefit from going slightly heavier so they learn proper hip hinge mechanics,’ she flags.

How often to do kettlebell swings

So, how often should you do the move per week? ‘For beginners, I’d typically recommend starting with 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps, focusing on good technique and plenty of rest between sets,’ says Jordan. ‘The priority early on is learning the hip hinge and building confidence with the movement, rather than pushing volume too quickly.’

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Doing this 2-3 times per week works well for most beginners, she adds, as it ‘allows enough time to recover while still building strength, power and cardiovascular fitness.’ When your technique and fitness improve, you ‘can gradually increase either the number of sets or include swings as part of full-body workouts.’

‘It’s also helpful for beginners to keep sessions relatively short and stop before fatigue affects form, as this reduces the risk of injury and helps reinforce good movement patterns.’

Common mistakes to avoid

Jordan says common mistakes to avoid include:

  • Turning the swing into a squat rather than a hinge
  • Lifting the kettlebell with the arms instead of letting momentum and hip power do the work
  • Rounding the back and going too heavy too quickly

It really is important to be patient and take some time to get your form exactly right – as it will mean you’ll get the most out of the exercise in the long run.


Headshot of Hannah Bradfield

Hannah Bradfield is a Senior Health and Fitness Writer for Women’s Health UK. An NCTJ-accredited journalist, Hannah graduated from Loughborough University with a BA in English and Sport Science and an MA in Media and Cultural Analysis.  She has been covering sports, health and fitness for the last five years and has created content for outlets including BBC Sport, BBC Sounds, Runner’s World and Stylist. She especially enjoys interviewing those working within the community to improve access to sport, exercise and wellness. Hannah is a 2024 John Schofield Trust Fellow and was also named a 2022 Rising Star in Journalism by The Printing Charity.  A keen runner, Hannah was firmly a sprinter growing up (also dabbling in long jump) but has since transitioned to longer-distance running. While 10K is her favoured race distance, she loves running or volunteering at parkrun every Saturday, followed, of course, by pastries. She’s always looking for fun new runs and races to do and brunch spots to try.

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The Workout Habit That Can Become Harm

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The Workout Habit That Can Become Harm

If your day begins with a HIIT class and ends with the saintly glow of “I’ve been good,” you’re not alone. Regular movement can lighten stress, settle anxiety, and generally make the world feel a little less like a group chat on deadline. But for a small group of gym-goers, exercise addiction isn’t a punchline or a humblebrag — it’s a real behavioural pattern that can quietly bulldoze daily life.

Researchers in Budapest have suggested that for around 0.3 to 0.5% of gym-goers, working out and the quest for ultimate wellness can tip into unhealthy obsession. And a separate study from Anglia Ruskin University found the risk rises sharply for people with a history of eating disorders — with researchers reporting you’re nearly four times more likely to experience exercise addiction if you’ve previously had anorexia or bulimia.

It’s an uncomfortable twist, because exercise is supposed to be the good bit. The socially approved coping mechanism. The one that gets likes, not concerned phone calls.

Why “Healthy” Can Be a Convenient Disguise

Wellness culture has a curious magic trick: it can make rigid rules look like discipline. Eight hours’ sleep becomes a badge of honour. “Clean eating” becomes a personality. And a workout missed can feel, for some, less like a rest day and more like a moral failure.

That’s what makes compulsive exercise hard to spot — especially during or after recovery from disordered eating. To friends and family, it can look like someone has “sorted themselves out.” Under the surface, the engine can be the same: fear, control, anxiety — just with different gym kit.

As Eating Disorders Awareness Week begins (March 2–8), we spoke to experts about wellness, disordered exercise, and the additional risks for those with a history of eating disorders.

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Can Eating Disorders Be Replaced by Exercise Addiction?

Kerrie Jones, a psychotherapist specialising in eating disorders and clinical director of treatment centre Orri, says eating disorders and exercise addiction often share the same roots — and the same function.

“Eating disorders, like exercise addiction, arise when we have lived through an experience – or lots of different experiences – that have taught us that we’re not safe in our day-to-day lives,” she says.

“Obsessing about food, weight or exercise is a behavioural mechanism that has developed as a means of keeping us feeling safe and in control when otherwise we’d feel overwhelmed with fear and anxiety.”

Jones explains that these behaviours can narrow a person’s focus to what feels measurable and manageable — calories, reps, weight, shape — while masking the deeper fear underneath.

“We call these ‘maladaptive’ coping mechanisms, as they develop through seemingly good intentions, but to the detriment of our longer-term physical and mental health.

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“Sometimes, when people reach a point in their recovery where they are stable and functioning, they may move from an obsessive relationship to food, to an obsessive relationship to exercise.”

And because exercise is widely applauded — and often actively encouraged — the behaviour can stick around far longer than people realise.

“It’s a much more socially accepted and idolised means of maintaining obsessive behavioural patterns,” says Jones, which means it can linger for years before someone seeks help.

What Drives Exercise Addiction Psychologically?

Work Out Animation GIF by Jake - Find & Share on GIPHY

There’s rarely one neat cause. It’s more often an overlap of biology, social pressure, past experiences, and psychology — with a particular role for trauma and learned patterns of control.

“There’s no one reason or cause why someone might develop an eating disorder or exercise addiction, however, it’s often a combination of social, genetic and psychological factors,” says Jones. “Commonly, we find a negative life experience or traumatic experience at the root.”

Chartered psychologist and Healthspan ambassador Dr Meg Aroll says more research is needed specifically on exercise addiction, but we already know a lot about how behavioural addictions operate — particularly the loop of compulsive thoughts and repeated behaviours.

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“We know that it’s important to change patterns of ruminative and compulsive thoughts in people with behavioural addictions, which is why treatments such as cognitive behavioural therapy are likely to be of help.”

In plain terms: it’s not about willpower. It’s about patterns — and treating what’s driving them.

Signs to Watch For: When Training Turns Compulsive

Fitbit GIF by Product Hunt - Find & Share on GIPHY

There’s no single template for exercise addiction. People don’t present in one uniform way, and “looking fit” tells you precisely nothing about what’s happening mentally.

But there are common warning signs, especially when exercise becomes less about wellbeing and more about relief, guilt, or control.

Jones says a person might:

  • Feel guilt and shame about missing exercise routines
  • Keep secrecy around how much they’re exercising
  • Continue to workout when ill, exhausted or injured
  • Prioritise exercise repeatedly over family, friends, work, and recovery

That last point matters. Training that regularly trumps relationships, rest, or basic health isn’t “dedication.” It’s a red flag waving in fluorescent gym lighting.

Does Social Media Make It Worse?

Social media can be supportive — community can be a lifeline — but it can also validate compulsive habits. A life organised entirely around workouts can look, online, like “motivation,” when the reality might be anxiety management dressed up as routine.

“For people who are predisposed to eating disorders or behavioural addictions, wellness culture can appear to support and condone this type of maladaptive behaviour,” says Aroll.

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“However, on its own, wellness and social media culture is not to blame – someone with such conditions will have a complex combination of factors in their life leading to their symptoms, which should be investigated fully and treated professionally.”

Jones adds that if you know you have an addictive personality, it’s worth curating your feed with intent — and unfollowing content that escalates guilt, restriction, body obsession, or punishment narratives.

What To Do If You’re Worried About Someone

The hardest part is saying something — and the most important part is saying it well. Jones recommends addressing it directly, but with care around timing, tone, and what you focus on.

“It’s important to broach the topic with them directly as their physical and mental health may be severely at risk,” says Jones. “Pick a time to talk when emotions aren’t running high, and where possible, try and avoid talking about exercise specifically or the more symptomatic aspects of exercise addiction or their eating disorder.

“Instead, focus your questions and concerns on how they’re feeling, underneath their day-to-day activities.

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“Keep in mind that there are specialists out there who can help and the charity Beat has numerous resources on how to have a difficult conversation with someone.”

In other words: aim beneath the behaviour, toward the emotion.

Do We Need a Broader Conversation About “Healthy”?

Here’s the tricky bit. Health professionals rightly champion exercise for physical and mental health. But for people recovering from eating disorders — or with a vulnerability to compulsive behaviours — messaging can land differently. “More is better” can become a permission slip for harm.

“I think there needs to be a broader conversation about what it means to be ‘healthy’ and to live a ‘healthy lifestyle’,” says Jones. “What works for some, may not work for others, particularly if they’ve suffered with an eating disorder in the past and would have trouble maintaining a normal relationship to exercise and food.”

Jones says clinicians assessing physical health need to consider personal history and the intention behind the behaviour.

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“If possible, we need to investigate the intention associated with exercise and unpick the feelings that arise before, during and after exercising.”

That’s the real measuring stick. Not calories burned, not streaks kept alive, not the smug serenity of a kale smoothie. If movement helps you live more freely, it’s doing its job. If it’s tightening the cage — especially in recovery — it’s time to call it what it may be: exercise addiction, and something that deserves proper support, not applause.

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Fitness

I’ve seen some bizarre exercises online. If I were an influencer, this is the one workout I’d recommend | Devi Sridhar

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I’ve seen some bizarre exercises online. If I were an influencer, this is the one workout I’d recommend | Devi Sridhar

Are you still keeping up with your 2026 resolution to exercise more? Or perhaps you’re just trying to survive the winter doldrums, with exercise the last thing on your mind. Whatever it is, social media is alight with fitness influencers showing off all kinds of bizarre and viral exercise trends.

Take squats, a core exercise move. Those don’t seem good enough any more, so now we have Zercher squats (holding a barbell in your elbow crease like a metal baby), squats on vibration plates, squats while throwing a heavy ball and on and on. Some of these exercises may in fact be good, some useless, but because influencers can’t be seen to be doing the same thing every day, the key thing is that they’re novel and can be sold as “the little-known secret exercise that everyone should be doing”.

Then there’s adding a gimmick to an existing exercise. There’s goat yoga, puppy yoga and – my favourite new trend from the US – snake yoga, in which snakes such as pythons slither around the room and on to mats and yogis while they’re in downward dog thinking about spiritual intentions or, more likely, what’s for dinner. The marketing is that being around snakes in yoga can help overcome a fear of snakes while also building flexibility. Cross two things off your to-do list at once!

Here’s my public health take: fear of snakes is rational. About 5.4 million people are bitten by snakes each year. Evolution spent thousands of years instilling that fear in us – for good reason.

Why do bizarre fitness trends go viral, and why do they appeal to something within us? I think it has to do with boredom, the need for novelty and Fomo. Exercise can feel boring: going out running for the same 5k or heading to the gym to the same equipment and space. This is true also for yoga, which can feel slow and lack excitement.

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The idea of trying something new is appealing, plus there is a constant push by certain fitness influencers implying that they know something we don’t. Some of them play on health anxiety and a desire to optimise with the “best” exercise to maximise your time and results: how to get a six-pack in two weeks or how to lose 10kg in five days (both pretty much impossible, by the way). Plus they’re telling us to buy a supplement or try a new juice cleanse that will be the missing piece to make us feel better by March.

Fitness trends sell that hope of feeling better. Take Hyrox, a hybrid endurance event where super-fit people pay good money to push sleds, throw wall balls, burpee-jump across the room and run between various stations. It’s impressive to watch and looks great on social media – which feels essential these days – and it’s a clear way to show your friends how fit you are. But it also reflects the push towards extreme, complicated and injury-prone exercise.

I’m going to say something you don’t want to hear, especially if you love Hyrox or snake yoga: none of this is necessary. If your goal is to feel strong, move better, stay pain free and live longer, you need three things: cardio exercises, resistance training and mobility training.

You don’t need weights, reptiles or cameras. It sounds simple, but what makes exercise hard isn’t the actual movement. It’s finding the time and routine to make it sustainable and part of your daily life. Which brings me to the most untrendy thing I can offer you: a 13-minute workout you can do anywhere, with or without weights. This is my default on busy days, and when I’m at home I have an 8kg sandbag on hand to add in.

All you need is a timer on your watch or phone. Start with three minutes of cardio to get warm and your heart rate up, whether it’s jogging on the spot, jumping jacks or just marching. Then it’s three minutes of legs, rotating between five each of narrow squats, broad squats, backward lunges, forward lunges and calf raises. Then on to three minutes of upper body, moving between five each of narrow push-ups, wide push-ups and tricep dips. Time to move on to core with a one-minute plank (either on your hands or forearms) and one minute of glute bridges (lifting your hips off the floor while lying on your back). For the final two minutes, just stretch out, whether that’s standing and reaching for your toes, lying on your back and moving your legs right and left like windshield wipers or sitting cross-legged and folding forward.

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That’s it. Do this a couple of times a week if you can. Will you see it go viral on socials? No. Will it get sponsored by a supplement company? No. Will it increase your healthy life expectancy and make you feel happier? Public health evidence suggests yes. The real challenge, it turns out, isn’t finding the latest hack or trend. It’s sticking with a (snake-free) routine, even when the novelty wears off and 2026 resolutions fade from memory.

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