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The worst video game ever made is back. But why?

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The worst video game ever made is back. But why?

From the arcades to the handhelds, mobile phones to home consoles, absolutely nothing could prepare the video game world for the unrivaled experience that is 1993’s “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” — a critically maligned game which, after a quiet rerelease last spring, is now getting a special edition rerelease on the long-defunct ’90s video game system Panasonic 3DO.

For the uninitiated, “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” was released as an “interactive romantic comedy” game meant for adults where, in a series of images with PowerPoint pacing, the player has to make “Choose Your Own Adventure”-style choices to help John, a struggling plumber on a bike, successfully woo Jane, a woman he meets in a parking lot as she’s en route to a job interview. What follows is a tale of corruption, Los Angeles action, narrator murder and a happily ever after — with plenty of raunchy ’90s shock humor along the way.

Released independently for the Windows PC and Panasonic’s aforementioned, relatively short-lived 3DO home console at a time before there were industry-wide ratings on games, this adults-only experience may have buried seeds in the minds of ’90s video game magazine readers, who perhaps encountered the scathing reviews in the July 1994 issue of PC Gamer (which gave the game a 3 out of 100 score and called it “the nadir of entertainment”), or who were vaguely intrigued by the title being the only video game for sale in the back-of-the-magazine catalogs with an “18+ only” warning.

While this style/genre of video game was known and embraced in Japan at this time as “visual novels,” the Americans behind “Plumbers” were unaware, and came to the same format through parallel thought. According to the Good Bad Flicks documentary on the game, which is included with the game’s new “Definitive Edition” release, “Plumbers” is the brainchild of Michael Anderson, who in the ’70s and ’80s was a pioneer in early forms of the internet and digital mapping. After he sold his digital mapping company in the ’80s, the lucrative buyout gave Anderson the time and money to — as he put it —“get into trouble.” This was a time where there was interest in “interactive movies,” and given the thrills he found at previous bleeding edges of technology, he explored what it would take to give a cost-effective romantic comedy audience-dictated movie experience a go.

Since full-motion video games weren’t quite at the crisp visual quality for home consoles with modern CD-ROM limitations, Anderson approached making the game as a frame-by-frame experiment. He’d approach potential actors in person, including Jeanne Basone — a face familiar to wrestling fans as “Hollywood” from the original “GLOW: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.”

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Basone told The Times that filming was “like shooting a movie you shoot out of sequence, so honestly, if you’ve ever been on a set you understand, you just need to trust your producer and director and that’s just what we did. Plus we had a whole lotta fun shooting it and being on location.” While the guerrilla-style filmmaking around Los Angeles landmarks may have not quite translated the on-set fun to players in 1994, it does look like they were having a blast at time time, perhaps giving the game a bit more charm 30 years later.

That charm is something the Limited Run Games team behind “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition” hoped to maximize while fashioning the game’s resurrection. LRG co-founder and CEO Josh Fairhurst went through the effort to not only track down the “Plumbers” rights holder, but purchase the IP to help make it happen.

“As one of the worst games of all time, we wanted to explore what led to its existence and why it is important,” Fairhurst told The Times, adding “I always value being as authentic as possible to the original experience. With ‘Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition,’ we did our best to not mess with the core game. It’s supposed to be bad, so we didn’t want to try and make it good. I felt like that would miss the point. Instead, we faithfully cleaned up and restored the game’s images, did our best to repair the audio without overriding the tinny low-budget charm, and surrounded the game with documentary footage, commentary, and extra features that do their best to contextualize it.”

The restorers of “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” had a philosophy: “It’s supposed to be bad, so we didn’t want to try and make it good.”

(Courtesy of Limited Run Games)

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One of the new “Definitive Edition” producer/developers Joe Modzeleski felt a full range of emotions in the early stages of development. He told The Times, “It was funny … but it wasn’t long after that, the thoughts started to be, ‘Oh, this is going to be difficult’ because there is nothing compelling to sell here and we have to make a profit.”

Compared to Limited Run Games’ previous remastered ’90s video game cult classics like the controversial “Night Trap” and “Corpse Killer,” this wasn’t a game that could be sold on gameplay. Fellow producer/developer Audi Sorlie also told The Times there was a real ground-up challenge in bringing back “Plumbers” with its proper elements as well. “Nothing really survived of this stuff. It was a weird throwaway project in the ’90s. No one is going to keep any of that. This is a problem throughout the entire video game industry, most of the stuff that was done prior to 2005 didn’t get archived so it’s hard for any project to nail down this stuff. And for ‘Plumbers’ even more so as this was this small project in California.”

Sorlie had to work on the game’s extensive trained AI upscaling, an undertaking that involved taking the game’s 890 images, all 640 x 480 indexed at 256 colors, and bring them to 4K quality — of which the reading and rebuilding combined took a year of compositing and by-hand touch-ups.

So, why put all this effort into something seemingly every video game player would consider objectively bad? Perhaps it’s the fan base, of whom the vast majority likely hasn’t pushed a single button on a “Plumbers” menu before this year. Yes, there’s a “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” following, largely thanks to the second life the game has had as an internet meme. In the summer of 2009, longtime YouTube personality James Rolfe dedicated an episode of his series “Angry Video Game Nerd” to “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties,” giving perhaps the first widespread video capture of its gameplay and trademark sleazy absurdity to the world.

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Instantly becoming one of his most popular episodes, today his 2011 upload has over 9 million views and has spawned numerous other reviews and revisitations across all corners of the so-bad-it’s-good video game fandom. A factory-sealed copy of the original 3DO game sold on eBay last year for $600. The one known existing copy of the PC version was tracked down at Ball State University in 2017, and its subsequent software upload to the internet is considered a triumph of lost media discovery.

Whether you consider the prospective players “fans” or just curious, there’s a proven legacy of “Plumbers” whose presence, whether as an intriguing of-its-time experiment or just the absolute worst of the worst, can have a strong argument for preservation.

Fairhurst describes the need for it as, “We frequently get remasters and rereleases of the best games of all time, but rarely does anyone spend their time and resources on the worst. As odd as this seems to say, I think the worst games of all time are just as historically significant as the best. We should be researching these and examining why they were bad, what made them exist, and how they were received culturally,” adding “I think people will always remember ‘Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties’ and want to experience it in the same way film enthusiasts still view and discuss ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space.’ Bad games draw our curiosity and I think there’s something to that. It’s been an honor to get to bring this game back, and I hope that people enjoy getting to experience it.”

A plumber squares off with a man in a tie.

The CEO of Limited Run Games, which is behind the rerelease, says, “I think the worst games of all time are just as historically significant as the best.”

(Courtesy of Limited Run Games)

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This new experience is giving “Plumbers” its biggest public boost ever. To promote the game’s release, Basone appeared at Boston gaming convention PAX East to meet the legions of old and new “Plumbers” fans. Basone told The Times, “I couldn’t wait to dive back in and make something that was being updated for what I thought was lost long ago, and will be on all game platforms today. I am proud of everybody who worked on it in 1993, and so happy Limited Run Games decided to release this updated version.” Given that LRG now owns the Plumbers IP, the question of a possible sequel seems more possible now than ever. However, when asked, Modzeleski laughed and said “Well, yeah, but don’t encourage that!” with Sorlie adding “Have you played this game?”

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Movie Reviews

Film Review: King of Prison 2: The Prison War by Kang Tae-ho

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Film Review: King of Prison 2: The Prison War by Kang Tae-ho

“Guys like you need to get beaten up”

I am not sure how successful the first entry was, but nevertheless, a sequel to “King of Prison” titled “The Prison War” did come two years later, and with an evidently bigger budget. Lee Sol-gu who played the King in the first movie gave his stead to the even more impressive physically Shin Yoo-ram, while the cast is almost completely different, with the exceptions of Lee Hyun-woong who reprises his role as Wai-wai and Kim Min-V as KTX.

This time the action is much more intense and actually starts from the beginning, as Kang Tae-ho creates an explosive mixture. King Beom-teol is here once more and is still the King, but his dominance is more challenged than ever. First from the Mess Sergeant, who works in the kitchen and thus has access to knives, and secondly from a cell filled with immigrants from China, who seem to be particularly violent. When Gi-cheol, the number two of a gang opposing the one Mess Sergeant belongs to enters Beom-teol’s cell and Gwang-ho enters Mess Sergeant’s cell, all hell breaks loose, with the King frequently finding himself under attack.

As the Christians in prison find themselves persecuted and the authority of the chaebol chairman in control of the prison and the head of the security department goes too far, the situation becomes even more dire, and the battle for the new King becomes more intense than ever.

As I mentioned before, the focus this time is more on action than the previous entry. However, this does not mean that the realistic premises are not here once more. On the contrary, the boredom associated with life inside and the value of food is highlighted once more, as much as the fact that people in prison frequently end up becoming friends, even though they have very little in common. The differences between those who were involved with organized crime and the ones who don’t is also showcased, as much as that the older ones are the one in charge, and the younger ones are treated as rookies. There is a sexual offender present once more, who is, once more, used for laughs, while the homosexual relations are not omitted either. Thankfully, the jokes having to do with the toilets are rather toned down.

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On the other hand, the concept of religion inside the prison is a new concept, implemented both for comedy and for drama, while the hierarchy of each cell also gets its focus. Furthermore, the corruption of the higher ups is even more stressed, to the point that their authority gets challenged more than ever. Lastly, Gi-cheol adds an intense sense of drama to the movie, that is definitely a plus for the narrative.

Regarding the action, it is framed for both impression and drama. Beom-teol is the King and the most powerful guy in prison, but his opponents are many and cunning, resulting in a series of fights he has to battle on his own against scores of enemies. Expectedly, this leads to multiple injuries for him and the occasional punishment by the corrupt authorities. Mess Sergeant proves a worthy opponent, particularly in terms of cunningness, although the reemergence of KTX balances the whole thing to a point. The real fight, however, begins when Gwang-ho takes over and the Chinese get involved, with chaos essentially ruling the whole prison and action taking over the narrative.

The fights, as in the previous film, follow realistic paths for the most part, without any particular exaltation, dictated by the fact that the majority of the protagonists are middle-aged. The brutality, though, is definitely here once more, particularly after the point when a number of inmates get their hands on various weapons.

The cinematography follows realistic paths, with the claustrophobic setting of the prison being communicated quite eloquently. The editing results in a relatively fast pace, that does become too slow, though, on occasion, while at 111 minutes, the movie somewhat overextends its welcome, particularly during the overlong finale.

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Shin Yoo-ram as Beom-teol is definitely a force for the movie, with him demanding fear and respect with every movement. That his acting is quite measured is definitely a tick in the pros column, although, as with the previous movie, if Don Lee was in the role the whole thing would be rather better. Kang In-sung as Gi-cheol presents a truly tragic figure convincingly, while Sung Nak-kyung as Mess sergeant highlights his transformation brilliantly. Yoo Sang-hoon as Gwang-ho is also good as one of the central villains here.

“King of Prison 2: The Prison War” although not staying as far away from usual prison films as its predecessor, it is actually a better film, much more well-shot and entertaining.

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Activists targeting Taylor Swift's jet vandalize planes with paint. Hers wasn't there

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Activists targeting Taylor Swift's jet vandalize planes with paint. Hers wasn't there

Two climate activists in the United Kingdom threw orange paint at private jets at an airport Thursday — an action specifically targeting Taylor Swift.

Alas, her jet wasn’t there.

The activists are part of Just Stop Oil, a coalition of organizations demanding that the British government create a treaty that would “end the extraction and burning of oil, gas and coal by 2030.”

Cole Macdonald and Jennifer Kowalski were arrested on suspicion of criminal damage, police told BBC News. Stanstead Airport confirmed to the outlet that Swift’s jet wasn’t present.

The two individuals chose that airport, in Essex, because they believed Swift’s plane was stationed there, the group said in a release. The singer has been criticized for the carbon dioxide emissions from her globe-trotting affairs.

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In a statement released through the group, Macdonald condemned billionaires for living in luxury while others reside in “unlivable conditions.”

Swift’s representatives did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

A spokesperson for the airport told BBC News that the demonstration briefly suspended runway operations, but that no flights were disrupted. The airport has since continued operating as normal.

In December, Swift served a cease-and-desist letter to a Florida college student who runs a social media account publishing information about the whereabouts of the pop star’s jet.

“While this may be a game to you, or an avenue that you hope will earn you wealth or fame, it is a life-or-death-matter for our Client,” said the letter, reviewed by The Times. “Ms. Swift has dealt with stalkers and other individuals who wish her harm since she was a teenager.”

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Jack Sweeney, who runs the account, told the Washington Post that he obtains the information from public records and that he would not be intimidated from sharing the data.

“This information is already out there,” Sweeney said. . “Her team thinks they can control the world.”

Swift is in London for her Eras Tour concert, which has international dates throughout the year.

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: 'Hit Man' – Catholic Review

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Movie Review: 'Hit Man' – Catholic Review

NEW YORK (OSV News) – A fact-based fish-out-of-water tale, director and co-writer Richard Linklater’s black comedy “Hit Man” (Netflix) starts off intriguingly. After some needlessly graphic forays into eroticism, however, the film’s third-act departure from the real biography of its protagonist sends a morally skewed message.

Glen Powell — who collaborated with Linklater on the script, which is based on an article by Skip Hollandsworth — plays mild-mannered New Orleans philosophy professor Gary Johnson. Although his routine-driven, solitary lifestyle centers on his cats, Gary’s flair for electronics does enable him to dabble in undercover surveillance work for the police as a sideline.

Suddenly called upon to pose as an assassin-for-hire during a sting operation, Gary is initially intimidated and frightened. But he soon finds he has a knack for the work. Calling himself Ron, and dressed in ever more elaborate disguises, he tailors his various personas to meet the expectations of each suspect he’s trying to ensnare.

Despite his success, Gary’s situation becomes complicated when he first runs afoul of Jasper (Austin Amelio), the full-time cop whose role he has usurped, and then falls for Madison (Adria Arjona), an abused wife who wants him to kill her lowlife husband, Ray (Evan Holtzman). Gary persuades Madison to adopt a more peaceful plan. But he doesn’t share his secret with her.

By the midpoint of the running time, there’s an enjoyable irony to Gary’s dual life. He explores abstract questions of identity in the classroom while simultaneously conducting a secret romance in the guise of his tough-guy alter ego.

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But, ethically at least, things unravel with the movie’s climax. Without resorting to a spoiler, suffice it to say that the wrap-up of the plot blithely suggests that heinous crimes can serve as the foundation for a happy future. Such a wrongheaded outlook makes “Hit Man” unsuitable for viewers of any age.

The film contains a frivolous view of evildoing, strong sexual content, including explicit premarital encounters and implied aberrant acts, a few profanities, several milder oaths, pervasive rough and much crude language and about a half-dozen crass terms. The OSV News classification is O — morally offensive. The Motion Picture Association rating is R — restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.

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