Entertainment
The worst video game ever made is back. But why?
From the arcades to the handhelds, mobile phones to home consoles, absolutely nothing could prepare the video game world for the unrivaled experience that is 1993’s “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” — a critically maligned game which, after a quiet rerelease last spring, is now getting a special edition rerelease on the long-defunct ’90s video game system Panasonic 3DO.
For the uninitiated, “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” was released as an “interactive romantic comedy” game meant for adults where, in a series of images with PowerPoint pacing, the player has to make “Choose Your Own Adventure”-style choices to help John, a struggling plumber on a bike, successfully woo Jane, a woman he meets in a parking lot as she’s en route to a job interview. What follows is a tale of corruption, Los Angeles action, narrator murder and a happily ever after — with plenty of raunchy ’90s shock humor along the way.
Released independently for the Windows PC and Panasonic’s aforementioned, relatively short-lived 3DO home console at a time before there were industry-wide ratings on games, this adults-only experience may have buried seeds in the minds of ’90s video game magazine readers, who perhaps encountered the scathing reviews in the July 1994 issue of PC Gamer (which gave the game a 3 out of 100 score and called it “the nadir of entertainment”), or who were vaguely intrigued by the title being the only video game for sale in the back-of-the-magazine catalogs with an “18+ only” warning.
While this style/genre of video game was known and embraced in Japan at this time as “visual novels,” the Americans behind “Plumbers” were unaware, and came to the same format through parallel thought. According to the Good Bad Flicks documentary on the game, which is included with the game’s new “Definitive Edition” release, “Plumbers” is the brainchild of Michael Anderson, who in the ’70s and ’80s was a pioneer in early forms of the internet and digital mapping. After he sold his digital mapping company in the ’80s, the lucrative buyout gave Anderson the time and money to — as he put it —“get into trouble.” This was a time where there was interest in “interactive movies,” and given the thrills he found at previous bleeding edges of technology, he explored what it would take to give a cost-effective romantic comedy audience-dictated movie experience a go.
Since full-motion video games weren’t quite at the crisp visual quality for home consoles with modern CD-ROM limitations, Anderson approached making the game as a frame-by-frame experiment. He’d approach potential actors in person, including Jeanne Basone — a face familiar to wrestling fans as “Hollywood” from the original “GLOW: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.”
Basone told The Times that filming was “like shooting a movie you shoot out of sequence, so honestly, if you’ve ever been on a set you understand, you just need to trust your producer and director and that’s just what we did. Plus we had a whole lotta fun shooting it and being on location.” While the guerrilla-style filmmaking around Los Angeles landmarks may have not quite translated the on-set fun to players in 1994, it does look like they were having a blast at time time, perhaps giving the game a bit more charm 30 years later.
That charm is something the Limited Run Games team behind “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition” hoped to maximize while fashioning the game’s resurrection. LRG co-founder and CEO Josh Fairhurst went through the effort to not only track down the “Plumbers” rights holder, but purchase the IP to help make it happen.
“As one of the worst games of all time, we wanted to explore what led to its existence and why it is important,” Fairhurst told The Times, adding “I always value being as authentic as possible to the original experience. With ‘Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition,’ we did our best to not mess with the core game. It’s supposed to be bad, so we didn’t want to try and make it good. I felt like that would miss the point. Instead, we faithfully cleaned up and restored the game’s images, did our best to repair the audio without overriding the tinny low-budget charm, and surrounded the game with documentary footage, commentary, and extra features that do their best to contextualize it.”
The restorers of “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” had a philosophy: “It’s supposed to be bad, so we didn’t want to try and make it good.”
(Courtesy of Limited Run Games)
One of the new “Definitive Edition” producer/developers Joe Modzeleski felt a full range of emotions in the early stages of development. He told The Times, “It was funny … but it wasn’t long after that, the thoughts started to be, ‘Oh, this is going to be difficult’ because there is nothing compelling to sell here and we have to make a profit.”
Compared to Limited Run Games’ previous remastered ’90s video game cult classics like the controversial “Night Trap” and “Corpse Killer,” this wasn’t a game that could be sold on gameplay. Fellow producer/developer Audi Sorlie also told The Times there was a real ground-up challenge in bringing back “Plumbers” with its proper elements as well. “Nothing really survived of this stuff. It was a weird throwaway project in the ’90s. No one is going to keep any of that. This is a problem throughout the entire video game industry, most of the stuff that was done prior to 2005 didn’t get archived so it’s hard for any project to nail down this stuff. And for ‘Plumbers’ even more so as this was this small project in California.”
Sorlie had to work on the game’s extensive trained AI upscaling, an undertaking that involved taking the game’s 890 images, all 640 x 480 indexed at 256 colors, and bring them to 4K quality — of which the reading and rebuilding combined took a year of compositing and by-hand touch-ups.
So, why put all this effort into something seemingly every video game player would consider objectively bad? Perhaps it’s the fan base, of whom the vast majority likely hasn’t pushed a single button on a “Plumbers” menu before this year. Yes, there’s a “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” following, largely thanks to the second life the game has had as an internet meme. In the summer of 2009, longtime YouTube personality James Rolfe dedicated an episode of his series “Angry Video Game Nerd” to “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties,” giving perhaps the first widespread video capture of its gameplay and trademark sleazy absurdity to the world.
Instantly becoming one of his most popular episodes, today his 2011 upload has over 9 million views and has spawned numerous other reviews and revisitations across all corners of the so-bad-it’s-good video game fandom. A factory-sealed copy of the original 3DO game sold on eBay last year for $600. The one known existing copy of the PC version was tracked down at Ball State University in 2017, and its subsequent software upload to the internet is considered a triumph of lost media discovery.
Whether you consider the prospective players “fans” or just curious, there’s a proven legacy of “Plumbers” whose presence, whether as an intriguing of-its-time experiment or just the absolute worst of the worst, can have a strong argument for preservation.
Fairhurst describes the need for it as, “We frequently get remasters and rereleases of the best games of all time, but rarely does anyone spend their time and resources on the worst. As odd as this seems to say, I think the worst games of all time are just as historically significant as the best. We should be researching these and examining why they were bad, what made them exist, and how they were received culturally,” adding “I think people will always remember ‘Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties’ and want to experience it in the same way film enthusiasts still view and discuss ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space.’ Bad games draw our curiosity and I think there’s something to that. It’s been an honor to get to bring this game back, and I hope that people enjoy getting to experience it.”
The CEO of Limited Run Games, which is behind the rerelease, says, “I think the worst games of all time are just as historically significant as the best.”
(Courtesy of Limited Run Games)
This new experience is giving “Plumbers” its biggest public boost ever. To promote the game’s release, Basone appeared at Boston gaming convention PAX East to meet the legions of old and new “Plumbers” fans. Basone told The Times, “I couldn’t wait to dive back in and make something that was being updated for what I thought was lost long ago, and will be on all game platforms today. I am proud of everybody who worked on it in 1993, and so happy Limited Run Games decided to release this updated version.” Given that LRG now owns the Plumbers IP, the question of a possible sequel seems more possible now than ever. However, when asked, Modzeleski laughed and said “Well, yeah, but don’t encourage that!” with Sorlie adding “Have you played this game?”
Movie Reviews
Stream It Or Skip It: ‘The Home’ on Starz, a paranoid thriller where Pete Davidson gets trapped in a creepy retirement home
The Home (now streaming on Starz) pits Pete Davidson against the residents of a creepy retirement community, and it isn’t exactly a Millennials-vs.-Boomers clash for the ages. “Best generation, my f—in’ dick,” our headliner mutters under his breath at one point, and that’s an accurate representation of this quasi-horror movie’s level of articulation. Filmmaker James DeMonaco (director of the first three The Purge movies, writer of all of them) takes a halfway decent idea and turns it into an uninspired, vaguely brownish-colored movie version of the stew you make out of all the leftovers in the fridge, and that you can’t revive with just a little more salt.
THE HOME: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?
The Gist: Hurricane Greta is about to slam into this community, and this movie would love you to come to the conclusion that it’s the result of the collective might of boomers’ farts after they ate too many Wagyu tenderloins basted in the metaphorical gravies wrung from the pores of younger generations. Maybe that’s why Max (Davidson) is so skinny, but it’s definitely why he’s so P.O.’d. He breaks into a building and expresses his angst via some elaborate graffiti art that gets him arrested – again. His foster father finagles a deal for him to avoid jail time by performing community service at the Green Meadows Retirement Home and that doesn’t seem too bad since he’ll be a janitor and not a nurse on diaper duty. And at this point it’s established that Max has some trauma stemming from his foster brother’s suicide, the type of trauma that’s requisite to pile atop any and all protagonists of crappo horror movies at this point in the 21st century.
It’s worth noting that Green Meadows is a halfway-decent retirement community – not as posh as the one in The Thursday Murder Club, and not as repugnant as you might expect for a low-rung horror flick. BUT. There’s always a BUT. He arrives at the home and looks up and sees peering out a window the face of a gaunt old man with eyes that ain’t quite right. I’m sure it’s nothing! Management gives him the nickel tour, and gives him the first rule of The Friday the 13th Murder Club: DON’T GO ON THE FOURTH FLOOR. And yes, that’s also the second rule of The Friday the 13th Murder Club. Max will stay in a room at the home so he can be available 24/7 in case the job requires a 2 a.m. mop-up, and also so he can have lucid dreams that may or may not actually be dreams about weird shit happening around these here parts.
But everything goes fine and Max quietly manages his trauma and nothing incredibly gross and/or violent happens and he lives happily ever after the end. No! Actually, he catches a glimpse of old people in bizarre masks having miserable sex, and hears horrible screams of agony coming from, yes, the fourth floor. Max seems to be getting along OK, and even makes a couple of friends, like Lou (John Glover), who summons Max to clean up a big mess of feces when it’s actually a little welcome party for the new super. Ha! Max also has conversations about Real Stuff with Norma (Mary Beth Peil), both sharing the pain of the people they’ve lost. Eventually the fourth floor misery noises get to be too much and Max picks the lock and investigates, and it’s full of wheelchair-bound elderlies in states of drooling, semi-comatose madness. After Max gets his hand slapped for violating the first/second rule, that’s when the bullshit ramps up. Let’s just say this bullshit has some Satanic vibes, and poor Norma doesn’t deserve what happens to her, although Max seems ready to do something about all this.
What Movies Will It Remind You Of? The Home is sub-Blumhouse drivel nominally referencing things like Rosemary’s Baby, Eyes Wide Shut, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest in order to make it seem smarter than it is. Other recent scary movies set in nursing homes: The Manor, The Rule of Jenny Pen.
Performance Worth Watching: A moment of praise for the makeup and practical effects people, who provide The Home with more memorable elements than any of the cast performances.
Sex And Skin: A bit. Nothing extensive. But definitely unpleasant.
Our Take: In The Home, DeMarco tries a little bit of everything: flashbacks, dream-sequence fakeouts, jump scares, body horror, surveillance-tech POVs, occult gobbledygook, creepy sex, conspiracies, climate change dread, generational divide, paranoia, deepfake-ish dark-web weirdness… it goes on, and none of it is particularly compelling or original. It’s most effective in its grisly imagery, with a couple of memorable deaths that might tickle the cockles of horror connoisseurs, and DeMarco’s generous deployment of pus and eyeball gloop shows a variation on the usual bodily fluids that’s, well, I don’t know if “satisfying” is the right word, but at least we’re not drenched in the same ol’ blood and barf. Small victories, I guess.
Most will take issue with the casting of Davidson, who in the majority of his roles to date has yet to show the intensity that anchoring a thriller like The Home demands. He puts in some diligent effort in the role of the guy who routinely goes what the eff is going on around here?, and his work is a cut above merely cashing a paycheck, which isn’t to say he’s necessarily good. Miscast, maybe. The victim of half-assed writing, more likely, this being a paranoid creepout that never gets under our skin, with attempts at cheeky comedy that fizzle out and social commentary that dead-ends into obviousness. Having Davidson piss and moan about “F—ing boomers” ain’t enough.
The plot works its way through its hodgepodge of this ‘n’ that plot mechanisms to get to a conclusion that’ underwhelming and over the top at the same time; the initial bit of exhilaration quickly dissipates and we’re left with the sense that the movie just hasn’t been good or diligent enough in its storytelling and character development to earn this catharsis. It’s just spectacle for its own gory sake. This mediocrity might just inspire Davidson to retire from horror movies.
Our Call: Hate to say it, but 1.7 decent kills does not a horror movie make. SKIP IT.
John Serba is a freelance film critic from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Werner Herzog hugged him once.
Entertainment
House committee report questions distribution of FireAid’s $100 million for L.A. wildfire relief
The House Judiciary Committee on Tuesday released a report after its own investigation into FireAid, the charity founded by Clippers executives that raised $100 million for wildfire relief efforts in Los Angeles last January.
The investigation — led by Rep. Kevin Kiley (R-Rocklin) under committee chair Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) — began in August when Kiley “sent a letter to FireAid requesting a detailed breakdown of all non-profits that received money from FireAid.” Kiley expressed concern that the money had gone toward local nonprofits rather than as more direct aid to affected residents.
FireAid promptly released a comprehensive document detailing its fundraising and grant dispersals. After reaching out to every named nonprofit in the document, The Times reported that the groups who successfully applied for grants were quickly given money to spend in their areas of expertise, as outlined in FireAid’s public mission statements. A review conducted by an outside law firm confirmed the same.
The new Republican-led committee report is skeptical of the nonprofit work done under FireAid’s auspices — but cites relatively few examples of groups deviating from FireAid’s stated goals.
Representatives for FireAid did not immediately respond to request for comment on the report.
Out of hundreds of nonprofits given millions in FireAid funds, “In total, the Committee found six organizations that allocated FireAid grants towards labor, salaries, or other related costs,” the report said.
The committee singled out several local nonprofits, focused on relief and development for minorities and marginalized groups, for criticism. It named several long-established organizations like the NAACP Pasadena, My Tribe Rise, Black Music Action Coalition, CA Native Vote Project and Community Organized Relief Efforts (CORE), whose activities related to fire relief they found “unclear,” without providing specific claims of misusing FireAid funds.
The report — while heavily citing Fox News, Breitbart and New York Post stories — claims that “FireAid prioritized and awarded grants to illegal aliens.” Yet its lone example for this is a grant that went to CORE, citing its mission for aiding crisis response within “underserved communities,” one of which is “undocumented migrants” facing “high risk of housing instability, economic hardship, exploitation, and homelessness.”
The report said that $500,000 was used by the California Charter Schools Assn., Neighborhood Legal Services of Los Angeles County, Los Angeles Regional Food Bank, LA Disaster Relief Navigator, Community Clinic Assn. of Los Angeles County and LA Conservation Corps “towards labor, salaries, or other related costs,” which the committee said went against FireAid’s stated goals.
Yet the examples they cite as suspicious include NLSLA using its FireAid grant to pay salaries to attorneys providing free legal aid to fire victims, the Community Clinic of Los Angeles “expanding training in mental health and trauma care” through grants to smaller local health centers, and the L.A. Regional Food bank allocating its funds to “mobilize resources to fight hunger.”
The report singled out one group, Altadena Talks Foundation, from Team Rubicon relief worker Toni Raines. Altadena Talks Foundation received a $100,00 grant from FireAid, yet the report said Altadena Talks’ work on a local news podcast, among other efforts, “remains unclear” as it relates to fire relief.
The report’s claims that “instead of helping fire victims, donations made to FireAid helped to fund causes and projects completely unrelated to fire recovery, including voter participation for Native Americans, illegal aliens, podcast shows, and fungus planting” sound incendiary. Yet the evidence it cites generally shows a range of established local nonprofits addressing community-specific concerns in a fast-moving disaster, with some small amounts of money possibly going toward salaries or overhead, or groups whose missions the committee viewed skeptically.
FireAid still plans to distribute an additional round of $25 million in grants this year.
Movie Reviews
Movie Review: A Home Invasion turns into a “Relentless” Grudge Match
I’d call the title “Relentless” truth in advertising, althought “Pitiless,” “Endless” and “Senseless” work just as well.
This new thriller from the sarcastically surnamed writer-director Tom Botchii (real name Tom Botchii Skowronski of “Artik” fame) begins in uninteresting mystery, strains to become a revenge thriller “about something” and never gets out of its own way.
So bloody that everything else — logic, reason, rationale and “Who do we root for?” quandary is throughly botched — its 93 minutes pass by like bleeding out from screwdriver puncture wounds — excruciatingly.
But hey, they shot it in Lewiston, Idaho, so good on them for not filming overfilmed Greater LA, even if the locations are as generically North American as one could imagine.

Career bit player and Lewiston native Jeffrey Decker stars as a homeless man we meet in his car, bearded, shivering and listening over and over again to a voice mail from his significant other.
He has no enthusiasm for the sign-spinning work he does to feed himself and gas up his ’80s Chevy. But if woman, man or child among us ever relishes anything as much as this character loves his cigarettes — long, theatrical, stair-at-the-stars drags of ecstacy — we can count ourselves blessed.
There’s this Asian techie (Shuhei Kinoshita) pounding away at his laptop, doing something we assume is sketchy just by the “ACCESS DENIED” screens he keeps bumping into and the frantic calls he takes suggesting urgency of some sort or other.
That man-bunned stranger, seen in smoky silhoutte through the opaque window on his door, ringing the bell of his designer McMansion makes him wary. And not just because the guy’s smoking and seems to be making up his “How we can help cut your energy bill” pitch on the fly.
Next thing our techie knows, shotgun blasts are knocking out the lock (Not the, uh GLASS) and a crazed, dirty beardo homeless guy has stormed in, firing away at him as he flees and cries “STOP! Why are you doing this?”
Jun, as the credits name him, fights for his PC and his life. He wins one and loses the other. But tracking his laptop and homeless thug “Teddy” with his phone turns out to be a mistake.
He’s caught, beaten and bloodied some more. And that’s how Jun learns the beef this crazed, wronged man has with him — identity theft, financial fraud, etc.
Threats and torture over access to that laptop ensue, along with one man listing the wrongs he’s been done as he puts his hostage through all this.
Wait’ll you get a load of what the writer-director thinks is the card our hostage would play.
The dialogue isn’t much, and the logic — fleeing a fight you’ve just won with a killer rather than finishing him off or calling the cops, etc. — doesn’t stand up to any scrutiny.
The set-piece fights, which involve Kinoshita screaming and charging his tormentor and the tormentor played by Decker stalking him with wounded, bloody-minded resolve are visceral enough to come off. Decker and Kinoshita are better than the screenplay.
A throw-down at a gas-station climaxes with a brutal brawl on the hood of a bystander’s car going through an automatic car wash. Amusingly, the car-wash owners feel the need to do an Idaho do-si-do video (“Roggers (sic) Car Wash”) that plays in front of the car being washed and behind all the mayhem the antagonists and the bystander/car owner go through. Not bad.
The rest? Not good.
Perhaps the good folks at Rogers Motors and Car Wash read the script and opted to get their name misspelled. Smart move.

Rating: R, graphic violence, smoking, profanity
Cast: Jeffrey Decker, Shuhei Kinoshita
Credits:Scripted and directed by Tom Botchii.. A Saban Entertainment release.
Running time: 1:34
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