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French Girl (2024) – Movie Review

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French Girl (2024) – Movie Review

French Girl, 2024.

Written and Directed by James A. Woods and Nicholas Wright.
Starring Zach Braff, Evelyne Brochu, Vanessa Hudgens, Antoine Olivier Pilon, Charlotte Aubin, Luc Picard, Alex Woods, Catherine De Sève, Isabelle Vincent, Muriel Dutil, Luc-Martial Dagenais, and Melia Charlotte Cressaty.

SYNOPSIS:

Follows Gordon Kinski, a high school teacher from Brooklyn, who goes with his girlfriend and chef Sophie Tremblay to her hometown of Quebec City where she is testing for the Michelin 3-star restaurant of super-chef Ruby Collins.

The timing and specificity required to make jokes land, especially slapstick humor, aren’t easy, as French Girl newcomer writing/directing team James A. Woods and Nicholas Wright have discovered here. One can see the potential in giving the tried-and-true meet-the-parents narrative a cultural kick by bringing a Brooklyn resident to Québec city and using French differences as a source for comedy, but the script somewhat stops doing that and instead relies on cheap gags that would be shocking and funny if there was more skill leading up to the punchline.

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Unfortunately, listening to Zach Braff’s Shakespeare-loving middle school English teacher, Gordon Kinski, recite the insanity around him is usually funnier than what happens (he comments on getting roped into an underground mixed martial arts family fight club, a funny line referring to a letdown sequence.) The ensemble has the delivery down, but the slapstick shenanigans feel forced. They sometimes get crude and forget that a joke is funnier if the characters are treated like actual people and not just punching bags. 

Some of the material here also feels dated, following around a well-meaning Gordon who genuinely wants to make a positive impression on his chef girlfriend Sophie Tremblay’s (Evelyne Brochu) family – he does not, unknowingly consuming a Quaalude on the plane mistakenly given to him over medication to calm anxiety by his kooky novelist father who desperately wants his son to bring him back an immigration passport; it’s a hilarious small turn from William Fichtner – but spend most of the film nervously jealous that the wealthy reality TV woman letting Sophie try out for an executive position at her new restaurant, Ruby (Vanessa Hudgens), is also her former lover.

As nothing goes right throughout this quasi-vacation, Gordon increasingly becomes concerned that the more adventurous, ambitious, and exciting Ruby is scheming to steal Sophie back from his uneventful but loving self. The Frenchness in this film seems to have started and stopped with a few jokes about sexual freeness and a lesbian former flame.

Later on, there is a segment involving duck hunting, painting the Canadian-French as gun-crazy as Americans, so perhaps the point is also suggesting that the cultures are also similar in many ways. Aside from a brilliant joke that sees Gordon showing Sophie’s brother Jean-Claude Van Damme movies to help him learn English to pass an exam to become a cop, there isn’t too much humor that feels inspired by French culture.

The jokes tend to end up fairly broad and unamusing. Gordon has to help butcher a baby lamb in preparation for dinner, and the crazy old dementia-ridden matriarch gets confused and steals the wedding ring he plans to propose to Sophie with, meaning that he spends a good portion of the movie creeping the family out when searching for isolated moments to be with her and pull the ring off her finger, and he doesn’t know how to drive a stick shift. Even worse, French Girls vindicates his childish whining and concerns over his girlfriend spending time with another woman. Some jokes are frustratingly obvious (you know what will happen as soon as Gordon picks up a gun, based on a mildly funny running gag prior.)

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Again, Zach Braff is doing his best to sell everything that happens as wild, out-of-control shenanigans that need to be seen to be believed, but the seeing part leaves something funny to be desired. French Girl simply isn’t fresh, funny, or French enough to escape the outdated trappings of the meet-the-parents formula.

Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★

Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=embed/playlist

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Movie Reviews

1985 Movie Reviews – Bad Medicine, King Solomon’s Mines, and One Magic Christmas | The Nerdy

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1985 Movie Reviews – Bad Medicine, King Solomon’s Mines, and One Magic Christmas | The Nerdy
by Sean P. Aune | November 22, 2025November 22, 2025 10:30 am EST

Welcome to an exciting year-long project here at The Nerdy. 1985 was an exciting year for films giving us a lot of films that would go on to be beloved favorites and cult classics. It was also the start to a major shift in cultural and societal norms, and some of those still reverberate to this day.

We’re going to pick and choose which movies we hit, but right now the list stands at nearly four dozen.

Yes, we’re insane, but 1985 was that great of a year for film.

The articles will come out – in most cases – on the same day the films hit theaters in 1985 so that it is their true 40th anniversary. All films are also watched again for the purposes of these reviews and are not being done from memory. In some cases, it truly will be the first time we’ve seen them.

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This time around, it’s Nov. 22, 1985, and we’re off to see Bad Medicine, King Solomon’s Mines, and One Magic Christmas.

Bad Medicine

Steve Guttenberg really was having a moment in the 1980s. Sadly, this film was part of that moment.

Jeffrey Marx (Guttenberg), comes from a medical family, but he has been able to get into a medical school due to low scores. His father finally sets up to go to a school in Central America. Once there he makes a few new friends, and eventually discovers not only does he actually like medicine, but he’s good at it.

This film had a few ingredients to be fun, but it lost it’s way with too many sub-plots. We didn’t need the owner of the school (Alan Arkin) lusting after Liz (Julie Hagerty). It added absolutely nothing to the overall story, and only served to slow the pace of the film down in several spots.

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There may have been a decent film hiding in here, just no one knew how to get to the meat of it, apparently.


King Solomon’s Mines

Kids love Indiana Jones, so lets make our own!

Jesse Huston (Sharon Stone) wants to find her father, and hires Allan Quatermain (Richard Chamberlain) to help her. Her father had been looking for the fabled King Solomon’s Mines, so naturally they end up on the path to looking for them as well, running into every obstacle imaginable along the way.

Lets make no mistake, this is not a good movie. It is an out-and-out ripoff of everything that made Indiana Jones cool and successful. But despite it not being good, Chamberlain is so blasted charming as Quatermain that it’s hard not to root for the film a bit.

What kept tearing me out of the film was the stunts. Realistically, you know Indiana Jones should be dead about 20 times a movie, but the stunts were so good that you could believe he survived it. And it’s just not the same here. The scene where Quatermain gets dragged behind the train hitting all of the boards of the track was just too far to even be believable for a moment, and that really pulled me out of the film.

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I give them points for trying, but they just never quite make it over the line.


One Magic Christmas

Hey kids! Christmas is coming! Who’s ready to get depressed?

Christmas angel Gideon (Harry Dean Stanton) gets assigned to help Ginnie Grainger (Mary Steenburgen) find the Christmas spirit… and so what if she watches her husband get killed along the way and she believes at one point both her kids are dead the same day?

Merry Christmas, everyone!

The film is unflinchingly sad for the majority of its runtime, making it difficult to fathom how it was made. In the end, Ginnie does get her Christmas spirit as Santa rewinds time so that her husband never dies. Of course, he doesn’t remove her memory of watching him get shot and him dying in front of her, but, you know, it was the 80s, who cared about trauma?

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Just a bleak film that is baffling how it got made.

1985 Movie Reviews will return on Nov. 29, 2025, with Rocky IV and Santa Claus: The Movie.


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Movie Reviews

Sisu: Road to Revenge

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Sisu: Road to Revenge

The lethal and tenacious Aatami Korpi returns in this sequel to 2022’s Sisu. Like its predecessor, Sisu: Road to Revenge offers up nonstop, gory hyper-violence as the old soldier shoots and stabs his way through the Soviet Union’s Red Army to avenge his family’s murder. Paired with all the bloodshed is a handful of f-words and some drinking, as well.

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: “Sisu: Road to Revenge” takes a Wrong Turn or Three

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Movie Review: “Sisu: Road to Revenge” takes a Wrong Turn or Three

I am an audience of one at a late afternoon “preview” matinee of “Sisu 2,” aka “Sisu: Road to Revenge,” the sequel to the savage sleeper hit by Finnish carnage Jalmari Helander.

Do the locals know something I don’t? Or are the good folks in “The Last Capital of the Confederacy” showing their red ball cap displeasure at a movie about mowing down Russians by staying home?

I’m guessing it’s the fact that Screen Gems’ marketing didn’t spend enough to move the needle even a centimeter that dampened enthusiasm, as nobody knows about it.

That’s no big deal, because this sequel is inferior in pretty much every way to the original “Sisu,” which came out of nowhere back in 2023 and which takes its title from a Finnish word that more of less means unfettered rage. It’s not on a par with Helander’s “Rare Exports” Santa-horror splatter film either. He’s due for a misstep. Here it is.

“Road to Revenge” brings back our non-speaking, unstoppable and unkillable Finnish commando Korpi (Jorma Tommila), this time out to haul the pieces to his house across the Russian border after the end of World War II.

When your anti-hero is “unstoppable” and “unkillable,” that lowers the stakes. A lot.

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Throw in feeble pacing and thus no urgency to its story of driving, shooting, stabbing and missle-launching his way through legions of belligerant Russians, fresh from their triumph in “The Great Patriotic War,” and you’ve got a thriller whose only creative bits are random moments of Russian-mutilating and murdering.

Remember, the vodka/borscht-folk and their dictator sided with the Nazis at the beginning of WWII, only to F-around and find out you can never trust a Nazi. And the Russians further earned their history’s bad-guys status by invading Finland at the start of the war, and paying dearly for their miscalculation, at least for a time.

The Soviet Russians annexed Finnish territory at war’s end, and that’s where Korpi lived. So he’s got his passport and his battered, oversized military truck and he’s aiming to move the logs of his old homestead, where his family was slaughtered, to a new location across the new border.

Ivan doesn’t want him to get away with it.

The stages of his quest are broken into superfluous “chapters” like “Old Enemies,” “Motor Mayhem:” and “Incoming.” The dialogue, almost all of it by a Russian tormentor (Stephen Lang) who commanded the troops who failed to finish off the Finn in the first film, is every bit as pointless.

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“Unleash Hell,” like they haven’t already. “Keep your eyes open,” the most worthless command cliche of them all. And “Look at me,” served up as if he isn’t looking at you.

Duels against armored commandos on motorcycles (!?), airborne fighter bombers and the like ensue. Our hero takes another licking and keeps on ticking. The Russians? Let the body count commence, Comrades!

I laughed at a few of the more audacious butcherings, but that was early on. The narrative settles into a slog in the middle acts and no pull-out-the-stops train ride finale could drag it out of the mud.

Rating: R, graphic violence, pretty much start to finish, profanity

Cast: Jorma Tommila, Richard Brake and Stephen Lang.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Jalmari Helander. A Screen Gems release.

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Running time: 1:29

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About Roger Moore

Movie Critic, formerly with McClatchy-Tribune News Service, Orlando Sentinel, published in Spin Magazine, The World and now published here, Orlando Magazine, Autoweek Magazine

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