Denver, CO
Ask Amy: Volunteer feels cornered by unwanted friend
Dear Amy: I am a 45-year-old married woman with three children.
I volunteer for a nonprofit organization and through this work I met a nice older woman (58) in this group. “Carol” was very nice, but over the past two years, she’s become very attached to me. This makes me uncomfortable.
She messages me over Facebook every morning and every night, and texts me multiple times a day.
Carol stops by unannounced and is very much in my space. She is very touchy.
She says I’m her best friend and that she loves me, but I don’t even think of her that way at all.
She sends extravagant gifts to me and my family frequently.
I’m trying to be nice; I don’t want to hurt her. But other than the nonprofit, we have nothing in common.
I kind of feel uncomfortable around her. She gets angry when I don’t respond to her and messages my children, telling them I’m “shutting her out.”
That’s crossing the line. I just don’t know what to do.
I just wish I had never met her.
Help!
— Concerned
Dear Concerned: This is concerning. You don’t say how old your children are or how well they know “Carol,” but she should not be sending messages to them at all — and certainly not as a way to get to you.
You need to convey to her that it is necessary for you to have stronger boundaries with her and that she needs to respect them. Tell her, “I’ve enjoyed working with you, but I am not going to move forward in friendship outside of our work together. I’m feeling crowded. I don’t feel comfortable with you stopping by the house or sending gifts to us. My spouse and I don’t want adults to contact our children without our permission. I’m asking you to respect these boundaries.”
I suggest seeing if she can respect your wishes before blocking her contact across platforms.
You should speak with your supervisor to let them know that you’re trying to handle this situation. You might ask not to have your hours overlap with Carol’s.
Save and print out any unwanted contact from Carol, and if she escalates, you may also have to escalate your response by considering a no-contact order.
Dear Amy: I am wondering if I should intervene for a friend and neighbor who appears to be being taken advantage of by her daughter and granddaughter.
“Edna” and “Max” retired eight years ago. (Edna is the neighborhood piano teacher. Many children and adults have benefited from her lessons.)
Shortly after Max passed away seven years ago, Edna’s divorced, unemployed daughter, “Lara,” moved in with her. Now, Lara’s unemployed daughter (Edna’s granddaughter) has moved in bringing her four young children with her.
The last time I saw Edna, she was crying and said that her daughter and granddaughter are sponging off of her, spending her Social Security, and because the unruly children are allowed to scream, fight, and wail incessantly, she’s had to give up her piano clients.
She said her daughter has talked her into a reverse mortgage so she and her granddaughter can have access to more of her money.
She says she is a prisoner in her room. I provided my advice — kick them all out!
Last week, I knocked on her door and her daughter turned me away, saying Edna has dementia symptoms and cannot talk to neighbors or go outside the house.
I don’t buy it. I am worried about Edna but do not want to be a busybody.
Your advice?
— Worried
Dear Worried: You should intervene, and do so quickly. “Just kick them out” is not practical advice when the abuse has progressed to this extent. “Edna” is trapped.
You should do a search for “Adult Protective Services” in your county and report this abuse immediately.
I would also call the police and request a “wellness check” on this very vulnerable elder.
This is not being a busybody. This is being a good friend.
Dear Amy: I’m responding to “Dissed Sib,” who felt it was unfair that certain family members received more financial help from their mother than others had. This happened in my family, and my mom’s response was: “Fair does not always mean equal.”
— Always Miss My Mom
Dear Always: I’ve heard from many readers who report similar pearls of wisdom delivered by parents during their childhoods.
Teaching this to children while they’re growing up will prevent resentment later.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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DENVER (KDVR) — With the mild winter and warm start to spring, beekeepers are seeing swarms earlier in the year and expect the season to be longer than usual.
Gregg McMahan is a dispatcher for the Colorado Swarm Hotline. It’s usually his job to send a beekeeper to collect a swarm when someone calls, but on Sunday afternoon, he decided to handle one himself.
“Nice little swarm,” McMahan said. “It’s tricky, though, because it’s hanging on a fence.”
A warm winter and spring mean swarm season has begun four weeks early.
“Never seen it like this ever,” McMahan said.
This call is to a house on Denver’s east side. When McMahan arrived, he saw a swarm had taken up residence on the fence.
“Absolutely typical, it is on the small side,” McMahan said.
He got to work, first luring them into a box when he spotted a good sign.
“See all these girls, they got their butts up, they’re fanning their wings. That’s telling us the queens in here,” McMahan said.
With the queen in hand, the rest began to follow her into the box.
McMahan said two years ago, he had 400 calls like this. Last year, only 100, the Swarm Hotline was as unpredictable as the weather, which has caused bee activity earlier in the year than ever.
“It makes it hard on the bees, you know? Two days ago, I’m collecting swarms in the snow,” McMahan said.
Rescuing them is integral to Colorado’s ecosystem. McMahan hopes people give a beekeeper a call instead of spraying them or harming them in any other way.
“They do a phenomenal amount of pollination within this state. Not only our native flowers but all the other flowers that people bring in,” McMahan said.
Slowly but surely, the swarm left the fence and moved into the box. McMahan loaded them into his truck to deliver them to their new home.
“Westminster to the Stanley Lake Wildlife Refuge, so these girls will have lakefront property tonight,” he said.
As he wrapped up, McMahan’s phone was buzzing more than the bees. Just another call to start a swarm season, he thinks, could be a long one.
“This year I’m already 20 swarms deep, so I’m expecting way more than 100 this year,” McMahan said.
To have a bee swarm removed for free from your property anywhere statewide, the Swarm Hotline number is 1-844-SPY-BEES.
For the first time in the team’s history, Altitude Sports is broadcasting Denver Nuggets home games in Spanish. Kroenke Sports and Entertainment announced it has contracted a team to broadcast its games in Spanish for the playoffs.
“I think that is what the public wanted,” said Ivan De La Garza, producer for the broadcast team.
A team of three people, two commentators and a producer, sit in a press box at the top of Ball Arena. Their commentary is then synced with the traditional Altitude broadcast video and shared on the Altitude Plus application.
“With the Nuggets winning in the last five years, there is a tremendous amount of following from Latino people trying to listen to and watch the games in Spanish,” said Andres Casas, color commentator for the broadcast.
Casas said he strives to bring the same energy fans get during soccer broadcasts into the basketball broadcasts.
“That excitement that gets you. We want people to feel they are at the game,” Casas said.
“It has been so amazing to be a part of the Spanish broadcast for the Nuggets. I have been a fan of the Nuggets for my whole life,” said Jena Garcia, play-by-play commentator.
Garcia said it has been a dream come true to help bring this broadcast to her community.
“I’ve always desired to hear a Spanish broadcast, just as a fan. To be a part of it is just incredible,” Garcia said.
Those working in the broadcast said they are honored to help expand the reach of the Nuggets and sports in accessing diverse communities.
“We love sports. We are passionate, we are loud. We like to get together and enjoy sports,” De La Garza said.
“The Nuggets have a huge following, especially on the Spanish side. So, it is great for them to be able to listen to what is going on, game by game, especially into the playoffs,” Casas said.
“It is just another step of access that they are getting to be a fan of basketball,” Garcia said.
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