This is part of a series of forward-looking predictions for 2025. Read more.
When I was asked to write about my predictions for 2025, a number of important topics ran through my head. The post-election political landscape. The increasing presence of artificial intelligence in our lives and what it means for the future of work. The health of the Great Salt Lake, Bear Lake, the Colorado River or any number of important waterways in Utah and the West. But setting out to answer those questions would leave another, more important question unanswered.
So I will answer that question: Yes, they will make more trashy reality TV shows about Utah in 2025.
How could they not? Hulu’s “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” is one of 2024′s most talked-about shows. Meanwhile, Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” is as popular as ever, and its spinoff “The Trial of Jen Shah” had great ratings on C-SPAN. It’s clear from these shows that America wants to know more about Utah. Or at least the fabulously wealthy, mostly white, occasionally religious women of Utah.
This isn’t going to change in 2025. In fact, I predict there will only be more interest in the Beehive State. And rather than being an annoyance, this will actually be a great opportunity to showcase what life is like for Utahns who exist outside of the realms of dramatic cocktail parties, lavish getaways, soft-swinging affairs and high-profile financial crimes. We’ll all get our shot at reality fame next year.
The networks will be strategic about it, of course. They’ll ease people into it with the tried and true “wives” theme. “Keeping Up With Utah Jazz Wives” will premiere first. Imagine the drama of watching Jazz couples shop for houses in 29 different cities during the trade deadline or trying to find an outfit that matches those highlighter-yellow jerseys. A show like this would also offer a refreshing twist on the genre, since the average NBA player is about 100x more dramatic than any housewife.
After that, we’ll slowly move away from the upper class. It’s time for “The Real Ski Bum Condo-Wives of Salt Lake City.” This is drama. This is intrigue. If you thought the showdowns on “RHOSLC” were intense, wait until you see how Aspen from Cottonwood Heights reacts when her husband, River, buys a third pair of powder skis with the rent check. Throwing a glass of wine in someone’s face is interesting; throwing a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon in their face is cinema.
At this point, America will have full-blown Utah fever. It’s time to let the men shine. “The Secret Lives of Mormon Husbands” is Hulu’s next smash hit. The male version will be a bit different, though. Unlike “Mormon Wives” and “RHOSLC,” which follow the women throughout their daily lives, “Husbands” will be a “Hard Knocks”-style sports documentary following a full season of church ball.
No one will be able to resist the highs and lows of recreational basketball in suburban Utah. It’ll blow “Hard Knocks” out of the water. Sure, when a passionate, hard-working kid from a D2 school narrowly misses out on his NFL dreams, that’s sad. But when Jeff from Layton tells his wife and kids that he missed the game-tying free throw in overtime? Devastating.
This show will also help America move away from its mystical fascination with Mormons. For whatever reason, it seems the viewing public thinks LDS members live very different lives than their own, whether they be devoted members or “Bad Mormons,” like “RHOSLC’s” Heather Gay. But if viewers want a glimpse at some Utahns who truly live unique lives, they’ll go crazy for “The Real Desert Kangaroo Rats of Moab.”
The catty critters didn’t come here to make friends; they came here to strut their stuff, speak their minds and survive on a diet of grass seeds and mesquite beans in desert scrub, open grasslands and creosote flats. Sir David Attenborough will narrate and say things like, “Here in the desert, water is scarce. But there’s plenty of tea and — like the temperatures — it’s piping hot.”
We haven’t even touched on dating shows, and Utah is the perfect venue for some of America’s biggest love-centric trash TV. Have the producers of “The Golden Bachelor” even heard of Park City? These are the fittest 70-somethings in the world, people. Forget pickleball; this will be the first season with an ultramarathon group date.
Netflix’s “Love Is Blind,” the show where contestants fall in love through a wall and get married six weeks later, should also take a visit here. Fans of the show deserve to see a family that’s almost entirely unfazed by the idea of getting married that fast.
It’s going to be a big year for Utah, and I think there will be room for everyone to cash in. And if you think that you, yes you, aren’t interesting enough for your own show, just remember the golden rule of reality TV: No idea is too stupid.
(Photo courtesy of Brian Higgins) Brian Higgins
Brian Higgins is a writer and comedian in Salt Lake City.
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