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Seth Meyers roasts corporate speak, Dreamforce at San Francisco event

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Seth Meyers roasts corporate speak, Dreamforce at San Francisco event


Seth Meyers performs at Salesforce’s Dreamforce conference on Sept. 14, 2023 in downtown San Francisco.

Stephen Council/SFGATE

Seth Meyers closed out 2023’s Dreamforce conference in San Francisco with a biting put-down of the corporatized affair.

The comedian and late-night talk show host delivered a 40-minute comedy set in SoMa’s Moscone West conference hall, pacing on a blue Dreamforce logo in the middle of hundreds of attendees. He poked fun at vaccine holdouts and wedding tropes, plus waxed about parenthood in New York City and his relationship with sports.

But it was his eviscerating commentary on corporate speak and the Dreamforce conference that got the biggest laughs from the lanyard-wearing crowd.

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“What a crazy room this is,” he said, looking around at the cartoon scenery projected across every wall and the campground-style chairs ringing the stage. “This is like a 5-year-old had a birthday party and said they wanted the theme to be ‘forest.’”

Then, he corrected himself: “A 5-year-old billionaire.”

The crowd roared its approval. Then, Meyers pitched up his voice: “I want there to be a waterfall, daddy!” (Outside on the conference grounds, SFGATE spotted at least two.)

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For years, Salesforce has decorated Dreamforce with National Park-esque trappings, which this year included a venue called the “Dreamforest.” The moniker did not escape Meyers’ aim: “You also know you’re doing well when you can have a thing at your conference called the Dreamforest, and people will still come to your conference.”

Meyers went on to pick apart corporate language, which was extremely prevalent in Dreamforce’s schedules and Salesforce’s product descriptions. First, he noted that the prisoner who had actually broken out of a Pennsylvania jail might take offense to the constant use of the phrase “breakout session,” quipping: “He had to crab-walk up two walls … you just have badges.”

Then, he made fun of the recurrent use of the words “roadmaps” and “trailblazers” in the conference program, before turning to the intensely active verbs.

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“You are achieving, you are amplifying, you are accelerating,” he started. “‘Architect?’ I saw ‘architect’ used as a verb. I don’t even think architects use ‘architect’ as a verb. If you were at a party and you said, ‘What do you do?’ and someone said, ‘I architect,’ you would think, ‘No you don’t!’”

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“We’re gonna empower. We’re gonna experience. We’re gonna explore,” Meyers continued. “How do we know we’re gonna explore? The f–king roadmaps.”

Like comedian Sheng Wang and actress Kristen Bell, who introduced Wang to start the show, Meyers let one fly at the host company’s corporate vagueness. He said that even after all his research, he still had “no f–king idea” what Salesforce does. Again, the crowd roared.

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“All I know,” he said, “is that I’m walking around a carpeted pond, at what is likely the beginning of a pagan ritual, and it will end with you setting me on fire while you join hands and dance around me in a circle.”

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Hear of anything happening at Salesforce or another tech company? Contact tech reporter Stephen Council securely at stephen.council@sfgate.com or on Signal at 628-204-5452.



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San Francisco, CA

San Francisco police respond to stabbing along Pride parade route; 1 injured

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San Francisco police respond to stabbing along Pride parade route; 1 injured


PIX Now morning edition 6-30-24

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PIX Now morning edition 6-30-24

10:39

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San Francisco police said a man was stabbed on the 500 block of Market Street around 11:20 a.m. 

According to police, officers saw the stabbing and gave first aid to the victim. 

Officers detained a possible suspect. No information about the suspect was released by police. 

Anyone with information is asked to call police at 415-575-4444.

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SOURCE SPORTS: Latin Baseball Legend, San Francisco Giants Hall of Famer Orlando Cepeda Dies at 86 – The Source

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SOURCE SPORTS: Latin Baseball Legend, San Francisco Giants Hall of Famer Orlando Cepeda Dies at 86 – The Source


Orlando Cepeda, the San Francisco Giants first baseman nicknamed “The Baby Bull,” died Friday in his home. He was 86.

“MLB mourns the passing of Hall of Famer Orlando Cepeda at the age of 86,” Major League Baseball tweeted. “Known as ‘Cha-Cha’ and ‘The Baby Bull,’ Cepeda slugged 379 home runs, batted .297, and made 11 All-Star teams over 17 seasons. He was unanimously selected as the NL Rookie of the Year in 1958 with the Giants. He was also a unanimous selection for the the NL MVP Award in 1967 when he helped lead the Cardinals to the World Series championship.”

Cepeda was the son of Puerto Rican baseball player Perucho Cepeda, who was not allowed to play in the major leagues because he was Black. Cepeda’s own career began after Pedro Zorilla convinced his family to send him to the United States to try out for the then-New York Giants. He passed the team’s tryout but was sent to the Salem Rebels.

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The San Francisco Giants brought Cepeda onboard in 1958, and he closed out his first season as the National League Rookie of the Year. After spending a few more seasons with the Giants, Cepeda was traded to the St. Louis Cardinals in 1966. Though he was named the National League Comeback Player of the Year after his first season, his performance suffered throughout the following two seasons and he was traded to the Atlanta Braves in 1969.

Cepeda retired from baseball in 1974. He was arrested at San Juan International Airport for drug possession the following year after he attempted to pick up two boxes containing marijuana that had been flown in from Colombia. Cepeda served 9 months of a 5 year sentence, but was never able to fully shed his criminal conviction.

Cepeda was inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame in 1999.

The baseball great was born in Ponce, Puerto Rico, on Sept. 17, 1937. Despite his father’s success in baseball, the family grew up “very poor,” he said in an interview. “My father [legendary player Pedro Cepeda]… was a great baseball player. In those days, a black player didn’t have a chance to play in the big leagues,” Cepeda explained. “So my dad used to go to Cuba, used to go to Dominican Republic, Venezuela… I think he went to Mexico one year.”

Cepeda’s survivors include his wife Nydia and 5 sons, Hector, Orlando Jr., Carl, Malcolm and Ali.

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San Francisco, CA

4th of July parade held at San Francisco's Great Highway for 1st time in decades

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4th of July parade held at San Francisco's Great Highway for 1st time in decades


SAN FRANCISCO (KGO) — A revived San Francisco tradition.

People in the Sunset District marched down the Great Highway on Saturday for the inaugural “Oceanside Fourth of July Parade.”

It’s been decades since the city had a July 4th parade.

Two bands, 25 dancers as well as several parents and kids took part.

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Inside effort to bring Fourth of July parade back to San Francisco for first time in decades

Supervisor Joel Engardio organized the event because he says it is time the City had its own Fourth of July parade.

“An event like this tells the world, we are not a doom loop. It tells the world that we have a lot of joy, and we are creating more of it. And, we are imaginative or innovative, and we are going to create our best San Francisco,” Engardio said.

Organizers had the parade on June 29 to make sure people who already made holiday plans could attend.

The supervisor says the plan is to have this on July 4th, next year.

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