San Diego, CA
Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine
My algorithm is permanently stuck in the dating world. Ads, social posts, articles, events, press releases—everything that has to do with finding love has come across my screen in the last year. And if all my fervent article reading and constant chats with experts and everyday daters have taught me anything, it’s that the way we search for the one follows fads like anything else—and things are shifting. With only a few more months to go in 2024, here are some of the trends that the industry is projecting for singles in 2025:
Daters Are Going Sober to Find Love
In July, Newsweek covered the rise of sober dating among Gen Zers and Millennials during a time when people are ditching alcohol (though, still staying “California sober”) at higher rates than previous generations. Even those not cutting alcohol out completely are scaling back—according to a study by NC Solutions, 41 percent of people are minimizing their use and prioritizing mental health.
This trend of dry dating has led to the creation of new NA apps such as Drybaby, Loosid, and Club Pillar, which aim to bring like-minded singles together in one place. Apps like these make it easier for sober singles to organize meetups while avoiding awkward conversations about not drinking on first, second, or future dates. They’re also drawing singles together IRL: Drybaby, for example, has partnered with NYC- and LA-based companies like The Feels, which hosts “mindful” events, and Reading Rhythms, a group that throws reading parties.
In an interview with Dazed magazine, Catherine Gray, author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, argues that drinking on dates can leave people confused about their true feelings. “Frequently, on the 7 p.m. first drink we’ll think, ‘Meh,’” she told the outlet. “On the second drink, ‘meh’ is a little more mesmerizing. Rinse and repeat four times, and suddenly you’re heavy petting someone you wouldn’t even ordinarily lightly pet.”
When dating dry, there’s no alcohol-induced cloudiness about whether someone is actually a good potential match. And, at the very least—during a time when most of us are just trying to figure out how to pay rent each month—spending money on expensive drinks can wait for later dates, when you’re sure you have a crush. Keep an eye out for more of these NA apps and dating events in 2025.
The Apps Are Here to Stay, But Users Aren’t
While dating apps aren’t necessarily going anywhere, users are starting to rely on them less when it comes to finding a potential partner. I wrote about this return to meeting people in person a few weeks back. It makes sense—we’re all burnt out and in need of a new way to find love, a fact that seems especially true for the younger generations.
Recently, Time published a piece on the members of Gen Z choosing to dtich dating apps. Data from a 2023 Statista survey showed that, in the US, Gen Z makes up only 26 percent of dating app users, while Millennials come in at 61 percent. CNN reported that “singles mixers and other group dating parties have made a comeback since the Covid-19 pandemic ended as singles look to get off their screens and meet potential partners in person.”
According to data from Eventbrite, attendance at singles’ events increased 42 percent between 2022 and 2023. Those numbers are even higher when it comes to game- or sports-based dating meetups. So, if you’re looking to date in the next year, consider how to get out in your community and meet someone at the many dating events that have been popping up lately.
Singles Are Doing Away With “Types”
This one is an interesting one. Contra-dating is a concept that involves intentionally dating people you would normally not choose in order to broaden your options. Many of us tend to stick with what we know, and, in the dating world, that can lead to a cycle of bad relationships—or closing yourself off to a potential match just because they don’t fit what you’re used to.
I love the idea that people are opening up their dating pool by purposefully spending time with those who aren’t their type. And the idea isn’t at all foreign in popular culture—Love is Blind (despite its issues) takes this type of thinking to the most extreme level, and even rom-coms have used that formula for decades, pairing two individuals who are wildly different and letting viewers watch as they eventually fall in love.
Contra-dating pushes you to be more open-minded and prioritize your core values over more surface-level things like physical appearance. It seems obvious to date outside of your normal pool, but how many of us actually take the leap? We often eliminate people quickly when they don’t match our past experiences or typical crush.
This type of dating can also expose individuals to new hobbies, activities, or ways of thinking—so even if you don’t fall in love with someone new, they may introduce you to your new favorite thing.
Living in the Moment, No Matter the Outcome
In my own dating life, I’ve learned that putting too much pressure early on can lead to unnecessary arguments. On the other hand, future-faking—a tactic where someone makes false promises about commitment to keep someone invested in a relationship—can be harmful to those who are genuinely seeking a long-term partner.
“NATO” dating, or “not attached to the outcome,” is a term used to describe a form of dating that places an emphasis on living in the moment, day-by-day, with potential matches. In an interview with The Star, Paul C. Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert, said, “Instead of rushing into a ‘happily ever after,’ [users are] focusing on using the dating journey to accumulate a roster of new experiences and memories that enhance their personal stories.”
When it comes to dating apps, every day can mean a new match or potential meetup—which, on the surface, can sound exciting. However, the amount of matches that don’t turn into a full-blown relationship can make us feel like there’s something wrong with us, not the algorithm.
Taking the NATO route means that you’re no longer worried about whether your next date is the one. Instead, you can free up your mind to take something away from every interaction you have, whether good or bad. Releasing our concerns about what’s next can also leave us more at ease when dating, meaning we’ll be more ourselves during those uncomfortable first meetups.
According to Forbes, the benefits of NATO dating include pursuing mindful partnerships, prioritizing personal growth, embracing singlehood, seeking meaningful experiences, and assessing true compatibility. It makes sense. This approach to dating can help you let go of timelines and pre-existing expectations and allow you to get to know a person without all the pressure and anxiety of finding the love of your life.
What do you think? What other dating trends and predictions have you seen lately? Let me know. Email me at [email protected] and let me know which topics you’d like me to dig deeper into.
If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.
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San Diego, CA
Automated license plate readers and public surveillance cameras are coming to Imperial Beach
The city of Imperial Beach will soon install four Automated License Plate Readers and two additional “public safety cameras” in hopes of improving public safety.
On June 3, Imperial Beach city councilmembers voted to enter into an agreement with the San Diego Sheriff’s Office to place four license plate readers manufactured by surveillance giant Flock Safety at four proposed intersections, and they will also install two cameras in the city to monitor for criminal behavior.
The cameras, part of a two-month pilot program, seek to improve public safety in the South Bay coastal town.
The four proposed locations for the license plate cameras are Imperial Beach Boulevard and 13th Street, Palm Avenue and 13th Street, 13th Street and Elm and 9th Street and Elm Ave.
The proposed locations for the public cameras are on the median of Palm Avenue and 8th Street, Palm Avenue and Seacoast Drive and Imperial Beach Boulevard and Seacoast Drive.
For the license plate readers, city staff said they have proven their usefulness in cities and unincorporated areas throughout San Diego County for years.
“[License Plate Reader] technology has contributed to multiple arrests, including identifying suspects’ vehicles involved in retail thefts, gas station thefts, and vehicle burglaries. [License Plate Readers] have also assisted in identifying a suspect vehicle in an international hit-and-run homicide in Lemon Grove and a vehicle involved in a [pellet] gun case in Encinitas,” reads the city’s staff report to the city council.
City staff said the Sheriff’s Office recommends a total of eight license plate readers, but the city opted for four.
“This is a pilot program. We have to consider the trade-off of privacy for security,” said public speaker Vivian Dunbar. “People have been falsely arrested and falsely identified through the use of these cameras.”
Imperial Beach Mayor Pro-Tem Jack Fisher said that while he understands the privacy concerns, the benefits outweigh any negatives. “This is one of those programs where IB is not leading the charge. A few weeks back, everyone was aware of the tragedy that happened at the Islamic Center of San Diego and the license plate readers were key in tracking those individuals down. It’s good for us to do our part.”
Added Fisher, “The era of big brother has passed, if you have a cell phone, you know there is already tracking.”
The council unanimously voted in favor of the pilot program.
San Diego, CA
Padres designate Nick Castellanos for assignment
Utility man Samad Taylor was selected to the Major League roster from Triple-A El Paso in a corresponding move.
San Diego, CA
Morning Report: Runoffs Largely Set
Tuesday night was a tale of two parties. Two election night parties.
At Liberty Station’s Stone Brewing, a small coterie of Democratic elected officials and functionaries and a larger coterie of news media shuffled around trying to make sense of the lackluster returns trickling in.
Meanwhile, at downtown’s US Grant Hotel, a much more spirited collection of Republican operatives and supporters laughed and drank in a blindingly-lit convention room, backed by a pianist’s rendition of “Billie Jean.”
The takeaway seemed clear: this was a not-so-great night for San Diego’s Democratic in-group. Chula Vista’s Republican mayor had a huge lead over his Democratic opponent. A tax on second homes lagged behind in the vote count. And several Republicans seemed to make it out of crowded primary fields in local races.
Hell, even if it was only a just-OK night for Republicans – that still seemed worth celebrating to them.
Normally we now get long stretches of days, even weeks of fingernail-biting anticipation as the county so slowly tallies the rest of the votes. But there doesn’t appear to be many close races to watch this time around. There are a couple. We start at the top:
It’s Becerra vs. Hilton
As of 11 p.m., with more than 50 percent of votes counted, it appeared that a Republican and Democrat — rather than two Democrats — would make it through to the general election. Steve Hilton and Xavier Becerra led the race, with billionaire Tom Steyer on the outside looking in. The New York Times has a nice tracker here.
Empty Homes Tax Goes Down

Measure A presented a simple choice. What do voters in the city of San Diego have more disdain for – people with enough money to own a second home they leave empty, or new taxes? Turns out, it’s additional taxes. For now, at least.
Championed by Councilmember Sean Elo-Rivera, Measure A would have placed a tax on homes left vacant for more than half of the year. It was pitched as a way to both raise badly needed revenue for the city and, potentially, make available badly-needed housing.
As of Tuesday evening, the measure’s prospects looked grim, with about 58 percent of voters casting a ‘No’ vote. It will become the second citywide tax increase rejected by voters in as many years. Despite the poor showing, intern Naomi Granata found the pitch resonated with some voters in North Park.
San Diego County Assessor-Recorder-Clerk Jordan Marks was one of a number of local electeds who came out in opposition of the tax. He said the city’s housing problems couldn’t be solved by what he called “bad taxes.”
“This result reflects that Sean Elo-Rivera and the City Council have lost the trust of the public and that voters are reading the fine print,” Marks said.
Elo-Rivera said it wasn’t looking good, but he was hopeful the picture would improve. Ultimately, he thought the money spent opposing the tax — and the distorted message he felt it sent — was too big to overcome.
“There was an enormous amount of money spent, and not just money spent, but money spent to trick voters into thinking that something was going to impact them that wasn’t,” Elo-Rivera said.
No Ammar
Republican County Supervisor Jim Desmond led the way in the 48th Congressional District on Tuesday night.
What we were waiting for is the candidate who would go with him to the runoff. It will attract a ton of national attention and money. It was one of the seats made more competitive by Democrats in the special redistricting vote last year.
San Diego City Councilmember Marni von Wilpert and Ammar Campa-Najjar, squared off for a chance to wrest the seat out of longtime Republican control. With 53 percent reporting, von Wilpert held a commanding lead over Campa-Najjar. The councilmember will advance to face Desmond in November.
On the ground in the district, reporter Tigist Layne found that the national politics that led to the redistricting fight were also front and center on voters’ minds as they headed into vote.
Bailey vs. Crosby in Coastal Council District
Former Coronado Mayor Richard Bailey and Deputy City Attorney Nicole Crosby will advance to the November election in District 2 of the San Diego City Council.
Bailey, a Republican-turned-Independent, seemed destined to finish in the top two after he attracted significant attention on social media. The race for the second spot was more uncertain. Josh Coyne, like Crosby, attracted significant Democratic support. And Mandy Havlik — a more development-resistant candidate — also had strong grassroots support in Point Loma.
Our new intern Fiona Bork talked to voters in District 2, which covers the city’s southern coastline, who said that affordability was the most important issue. Exactly how that explained their electoral choices differed by a lot. One voter said Coyne’s market-driven approach to building more housing appealed to him. Another liked Havlik’s approach to limiting vacation rentals. A third voted for Bailey because she wanted less development and more public transit. It seems unlikely that Bailey, who is fiscally conservative, would support massively expanding public transit options. Read the full story here.
City Council District 4: The race for southeastern San Diego’s council district featured three candidates: incumbent Henry Foster, Martha Abraham and Johnny Lee Dang.
Abraham was highly critical of Foster in her campaign and that seemed to resonate well with voters. At the latest count, she led Foster by several hundred votes.
Foster has many supporters in the district, but the city’s handling of catastrophic flooding in January 2024 — among other issues — has led to massive distrust of City Hall.
Council District 6: Incumbent Kent Lee had one prominent opponent, Mark Powell, who is a former member of the County Board of Education. They will both make the runoff but Lee got 55 percent of the vote in early counting.

City Council District 8: San Ysidro School Board Member Antonio Martinez and current District 8 chief of staff, Gerardo Ramirez, lead in this race — which was crowded with Democrats. Venus Molina, who serves as the chief of staff to Councilmember Jennifer Campbell, trailed closely behind in third place. This is one of the races close enough to change as the registrar continues counting votes. Molina’s count improved slightly as the night went on.
Our South County reporter, Jim Hinch, spoke with voters outside the Otay Mesa/Nestor Branch Library. One voter told Hinch she voted for Molina because she liked that she is local and a single mother. Read the full story here.
Election Watch Party Bonus: Ramirez’ supporters and family gathered at the Landing Strip, a bar and restaurant at Brown Field Municipal Airport, to watch results roll in. They broke out into applause when results showed him coming in second.
“For some of the folks it might seem like ‘hey man’ you’re second place, but we’re in there. This is a huge, wonderful sign,” said Ramirez.
DeMaio’s Gonna Gloat

Two local elections were something of a proxy battle between two warring factions of the Republican Party. Assemblymember Carl DeMaio’s team won, again. Every time local Republican leaders unite to oppose him or the people he supports, DeMaio wins. This time it was about two races: the one to replace County Supervisor Jim Desmond and the one to replace State Sen. Brian Jones.
In the county supervisor race: San Marcos Mayor Rebecca Jones left no doubt she would make it to the runoff. The only remaining question is who will face her — Vista Mayor John Franklin or Kyle Krahel, the former chair of the Democratic Party. After the first votes were counted, Krahel held a slight advantage with 20 percent of the vote compared to Franklin’s 19 percent. DeMaio went all in for Jones and she led the field with more than 41 percent of the vote.
In the state Senate race: As expected, former San Diego City Attorney Mara Elliott made the runoff for the state Senate District 40 seat. She got nearly 45 percent of the votes counted so far. The real question was who would go with her. That Republican battle between Kristie Bruce-Lane and San Marcos City Councilmember Ed Musgrove seems to have also gone DeMaio’s way with Bruce-Lane holding a 4.7-percentage-point advantage over Musgrove.
That’s not enough of a gap to call the race but it’s significant.
Teachers Union Pushed Barrera to Runoff in Statewide Race
The race for State Superintendent of Public Instruction became something of a flex test for the state’s largest teachers union. Could the California Teachers Association almost singlehandedly lift a relatively unknown San Diego board member over a bevvy of better financed, higher profile candidates? Yup. Easily.
Fueled by nearly $5 million in spending from the state’s largest teachers union, longtime San Diego Unified Trustee and labor-darling Richard Barrera sailed to a convincing second place finish in the race for state supe. In his nearly two decades as the power behind the throne of the second largest district in the state, Barrera has engineered a progressive labor friendly transformation that the union hopes can be taken statewide.
He will now face off against Republican Chino Valley Trustee Sonja Shaw in November.
Brews and News + Your Chance to Win Padres Tickets
Meet our team and get an election debrief at our Brews & News Live Podcast at Soda Bar on Thursday, June 11. We will be joined by San Diego City Councilmember Sean Elo-Rivera. Get your tickets here and you’ll be automatically entered to win two tickets to a Padres game. Winners will be announced at the event.
Obligatory note: No purchase or payment of any kind is necessary to enter or win the Brews and News Live Podcast Giveaway. A ticket purchase or donation will not increase chances of winning. All applicable federal, state, local and municipal laws, rules, and regulations apply. Void where prohibited by law.
In Other News
- Opinion: A retired lifeguard finds irony in SDG&E’s stance on residents putting solar panels on their balconies. The company once argued against rooftop solar because it was unfair to renters, but now, he writes, “a low-cost system allows most of those same people access to solar, but SDG&E seeks to deny them as well.” (ICYMI: Our MacKenzie Elmer wrote that plugging in such a device could put her at risk of getting her power cut.)
- San Diego County officials warned South Bay residents to limit their exposure to the outdoors after a broken pipe spilled millions of gallons of sewage into the Tijuana River. (Union-Tribune)
- NBC 7 reports that a judge ruled that the city of San Diego illegally collected parking ticket late fees for three years.
- About that cross-border tunnel: The U.S. Attorney’s office says a recently discovered, massive tunnel stretching from Tijuana to Otay Mesa leads to a fake store in the southern San Diego neighborhood. Four people have been charged in connection with drug trafficking linked to the tunnel.
The Morning Report was written by Jakob McWhinney, Mariana Martínez Barba and Will Huntsberry. It was edited by Will Huntsberry, Andrea Sanchez-Villafaña and Scott Lewis.
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