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Five Things I Think I Think About the Miami Dolphins – Week 15

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Five Things I Think I Think About the Miami Dolphins – Week 15


Monday Night’s Week 15 game was a make or break contest for the Dolphins.

As Enrique Martin so poignently asked: Do you really want it?

The Steelers said “Here we go! Ale ale ale!”

The Dolphins said: “No, no, no; no thank you, that’s okay!”

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Everything was aligned against the Fins

You know the drill: December game, away, in the cold, in prime time, the Dolphins’ playoff hopes (no matter how small) on the line.

If there’s ever been anything more sure than a Miami loss in those circumstances, I’ve never encountered it.

This time had the addition of a little Mike on Mike violence as Mike ‘Oh no, we should fire him because we only finish over .500 every year for our entire lifetimes, boo hoo’ Tomlin went against Mike ‘I will lose this and still be your coach for the next decade, just watch how bad this can get’ McDaniel battled it out from the sidelines.

People love to play up narratives in NFL games, probably because they run out of interesting things to say after roughly their third season of trying to come up with engaging commentary (which I would know nothing about since I am always innovative and delightful and all of my observations are fresh and new and SHUT UP JERK).

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That said, people play them up because they often prove true. NBC flashed the career records of Tua and Aaron Rodgers in games below 40 degrees and, while I can’t remember Rodgers’ because it had too many big numbers involved, Tua’s was 0-5.

Of course, if temperature alone is enough to ensure a loss for you as a professional athlete making more money than some small nations, I would be forced to consider that kind of pathetic.

There was no way that Tua and Company would so easily be defeated by something as innocuous as collective narratives spread by media talking heads with no meaningful perspectives to offer on game day.

Miami would obviously buck the trend.

The Fins would overcome the challenges.

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The Fins did not overcome the challenges

Miami didn’t buck the trend. They didn’t defeat the narrative(s). They got thumped and played exactly as poorly as every version of the team you’ve ever seen that has encountered the same situation.

Why huddle? Why drag ass like it’s the National Donkey Pulling Championship?

I’m back in Pennsylvania for the holidays and it’s always so eye opening talking to people who aren’t Dolphins fans when the Dolphins play, especially when it’s against a local team.

The response is never gloating (since it’s always during or after a loss). It’s never “Man, we destroyed you guys! We rule and you got dominated!”

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Instead, it’s almost always confusion: “Oh. Yikes. Are you guys, like, okay? What happened? Is that normal? That’s a full NFL team, right?”

What an embarassing conclusion to playoff eligibility.

Why are they passing? Not just early or late, like, at all?

Dear everyone involved in game planning and play calling: How dumb do you have to be?

Week 13 against the Saints, Miami rushed for 164 yards and won 21-17.

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Week 14 against the Jets, Miami rushed for 239 yards and won 34-10.

Week 15, they should have rushed for 300 yards and won 42-7.

Instead, they rushed for 63 yards (despite De’Von Achane averaging 5.0 YPC) and lost 15-28.

That’s dumb. You’re all being dumb.

Analysts can try to present evidence that Pittsburgh went all in to take away the run and make Tua beat them (as Troy Aikman contended during the broadcast), but at 5.0 YPC, it didn’t work. MM just freaked out and went away from what was the obvious solution in a northeast winter game and got jack slapped.

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Did you know Miami scored 27 points in the 3rd quarter?

That’s my last offensive fact. Read that word with whichever pronunciation you prefer.

The defense was jekyll and hyde

Early on, Miami’s defense was looking sharp. They were swarming to the ball, making solid tackles, and stifling the Steelers’ offense.

Then, after what I have to imagine was a literal funeral dirge at halftime, they came out and decided to be the worst version of themselves possible.

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Every non-Minkah safety was suddenly bad. The line could get no pressure against a 4th string LT playing his first snaps as an adult. There was an inexplicable taunting penalty that rivals the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.

And worst of all: no one could tackle anymore.

I have this pet theory that Madden (the video game franchise, not the jolly announcer who was afraid of airplanes) has been making NFL players worse for years due to the introduction of the Hit Stick.

A bunch of kids grew up playing Madden, flicking the hit stick, annihiliating their opponents, and receiving positive reinforcement all along the way. Then, those kids realize that they’re some of the world’s best athletes, weasel their way onto an NFL roster, and start trying to Hit Stick (TM) people in real life.

Turns out, you still have to wrap up and tackle the way you were taught in Pop Warner.

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Throwing shoulders to get a highlight on the long defunct Jacked Up segment of Sportscenter is a great way to not actually bring a guy to the ground and watch him run away from you for a score. See: DK Metcalf.

For as well as Anthony Weaver’s defense has shown it’s able to play, this display should warrant a back-to-the-basics reassessment of what it means to tackle the ball carrier instead of trying to get on an imaginary highlight reel.

And speaking of things that make my hair turn gray and knees start to feel the oncoming rains as I shake my fist at clouds:

Tush pushing is a nightmare

Sure, it has a rhyming name. That’s where its cuteness ends.

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As a regular ol’ fan, I’m so bored of this.

4th and 1: here comes the butt brigade.

Make a rule change and get this mess out of here. It’s boring to watch, it’s repetitive, and the Dolphins don’t even use it because they’re too stupid to take advantage of the most obvious freebee on Earth.

Put Julian Hill under center and get a free 1st down.

Until the league fixes it: Be part of the problem, guys.

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Then at least the boredom I feel would be overcome by the brief excitement of the Dolphins being successful.

Until the next snap, anyway.

Weekly Overreaction: Tua should be done

“For how long? For the rest of this year? For next year? For his career?”

I don’t know, pretend bro. But at least for a while.

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I’ve been a Tua Middler (like Bette Midler, but not at all the same) since he’s arrived: I think at his peak, he can be elite at the things he does best (a la 2023) and at his worst, he’s a borderline joke (like this week).

But this whole season, it seems like he’s taken such a massive step back that I think it’s in the Fins’ best interest to see what they have elsewhere.

I realize that his contract saddles them with him for next year unless they take a huge salary cap penalty, but it’s pretty clear to me that he’s suffered some long term effects from his previous injuries that have limited him. He’s comically immobile in and around the pocket, his arm strength has lessened, and (unrelated to the injury angle) his ability to read the defense and fire off a quick, accurate pass has nearly disappeared.

Until garbage time, he looked completely incapable against Pittsburgh. For a guy getting a boatload of cash in a do-or-die game: that’s pitiful.

Now, he wasn’t alone. By the 3rd quarter, no one was holding up their end of the bargain. But he’s included in that ‘no one’ and he’s getting paid the most and has the highest expectations among them to not be hot garbage.

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Ewers probably isn’t either, but at least he’s as yet unquantified.

Tua, it pains me to say, can’t be it anymore.

It seems like the Dolphins better get drafting.

And at least they have one thing going for them: their offseason starts today.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Do we really need to watch three more of these? What if we all just agreed to meet on Sundays and do puzzles and fist fight? Sling mud in the comments below.

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North Miami Beach 6-year-old who was allegedly severely abused dies: Family

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North Miami Beach 6-year-old who was allegedly severely abused dies: Family


A 6-year-old boy with autism who police said was severely abused by his mother’s boyfriend in North Miami Beach has died after spending weeks in the hospital, family members said.

The boy, Mason, had been hospitalized in critical condition last month, but his grandmother told NBC6 on Friday that he’d been taken off a ventilator and passed away.

Police had responded to a home in the 1400 block of Northeast 179th Street for a report of a child in cardiac arrest.

In body camera footage released by police, Mason was seen wrapped in a blanket and had no detectable pulse.

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North Miami Beach Police, Family Photo

North Miami Beach Police, Family Photo

Mason

Mason was given CPR until Miami-Dade Fire Rescue crews arrived and regained a pulse, and he was taken to Jackson North Hospital in critical condition.

Doctors reported internal bleeding in the brain, lacerations to the liver and kidney, a broken arm, and bruises covering his entire body.

His mother’s boyfriend, 34-year-old Daniel Eduardo Romero, was accused of severely abusing the boy, and was later arrested on charges including aggravated child abuse causing great bodily harm involving torture, child neglect causing great bodily harm, and tampering with a victim.

According to an arrest report, Romero gave conflicting stories about how Mason was injured, first claiming he was teaching the boy how to ride a bicycle when he fell, then changing his story and claiming they were using a wagon.

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Romero said the boy didn’t appear to be seriously injured and medical care was not sought but he woke up lethargic the next day and progressively weakened and when he became unresponsive they called 911, the report said.

Daniel Eduardo Romero

Miami-Dade Corrections

Miami-Dade Corrections

Daniel Eduardo Romero

The boy’s mother, 32-year-old Cynthia Hernandez, was later arrested on charges including child neglect, failure to report child neglect and providing a false statement to law enforcement, officials said.

Police had previously said Hernandez was cooperating with the investigation and told officers Romero would become frustrated with Mason because of his neurodevelopmental condition. Records also show Romero has two prior convictions for domestic violence.

In the arrest report, Hernandez told detectives that Romero had a short temper and anger problems.

Hernandez’s attorney criticized her arrest, saying she was also a victim of domestic violence at the hands of Romero.

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Her mother also said Hernandez was a domestic violence victim.

Romero pleaded not guilty and is being held without bond while he awaits trial. It’s unknown whether he’ll face new charges following Mason’s death.



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The Prime Cleaner Opens New South Miami Location, Expanding Premium Cleaning Services Across Miami-Dade County

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The Prime Cleaner Opens New South Miami Location, Expanding Premium Cleaning Services Across Miami-Dade County


Miami’s most trusted family-owned cleaning service opens a new South Miami location at 2000 S. Dixie Hwy. Serving Brickell, Coral Gables, Coconut Grove, Pinecrest, and surrounding areas.

MIAMI, FL – The Prime Cleaner, one of Miami’s fastest-growing residential cleaning services, officially announces the opening of its new South Miami office located at 2000 South Dixie Highway, Suite 100B-A, Miami, FL 33133. The expansion marks a major milestone for the family-owned business, which has completed over 9,000 cleanings and earned 500+ five-star reviews since its founding in 2021.

The new South Miami location positions The Prime Cleaner to deliver faster response times and same-day availability to homeowners and property managers across South Miami, Coral Gables, Brickell, Coconut Grove, Pinecrest, Key Biscayne, Kendall, Palmetto Bay, Miami Beach, Edgewater, Midtown Miami, the Miami Design District, and Aventura.

A Family Business Built on Trust

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Founded by Jay and his mother Ana, The Prime Cleaner was built on a straightforward belief — that every Miami homeowner deserves a cleaning team they can genuinely trust. From day one, the business has operated with background-checked professionals, non-toxic products safe for families and pets, and a consistent crew model that ensures clients see familiar faces on every visit.

“Opening our South Miami office is something we’ve been working toward for a long time. South Miami and the surrounding neighborhoods have been part of our story since the beginning. Having a physical presence here lets us serve our clients faster, respond same-day, and continue building the kind of relationships this community deserves.”— Jay McGough, Co-Founder, The Prime Cleaner

Comprehensive Cleaning Services for Miami’s Finest Homes

From the South Miami office, The Prime Cleaner offers its full suite of professional cleaning services:

  • Deep Cleaning — Top-to-bottom resets for homes that need a thorough refresh
  • Standard Recurring Cleaning — Weekly, biweekly, and monthly housekeeping plans
  • Move In / Move Out Cleaning — Built to landlord and property standards
  • Post-Construction Cleaning — Dust, debris, and construction residue removal
  • Event Cleaning — Pre and post-event cleanup for homes and venues
  • Exterior Window Cleaning — Streak-free results for interior and exterior glass
  • Tile & Grout Restoration — Deep cleaning that restores original color and shine
  • Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning — Stain removal and odor elimination safe for pets and kids
  • Post-Fumigation Cleaning — Full sanitization after pest control treatments
  • Airbnb & Short-Term Rental Cleaning — Turnover cleaning to maintain five-star ratings

Every service is backed by The Prime Cleaner’s 100% satisfaction guarantee — if a client isn’t satisfied, the team returns and corrects it at no additional charge.

Rapid Growth Driven by Five-Star Service

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Since launching in 2021, The Prime Cleaner has become one of Miami’s most reviewed and most trusted residential cleaning services. With over 9,000 cleanings completed and more than 500 five-star Google reviews, the company continues to grow month over month — driven entirely by client referrals, repeat bookings, and a reputation built one home at a time.

The South Miami expansion is part of a broader growth strategy that includes new neighborhood service pages, an expanded team of background-checked cleaning professionals, and an ongoing commitment to raising the standard of residential cleaning across Miami-Dade County.

About The Prime Cleaner

The Prime Cleaner is a family-owned residential cleaning service based in Miami, Florida. Founded in 2021 by Jayger and Ana, the company specializes in deep cleaning, recurring housekeeping, move in/out cleaning, post-construction cleanup, and specialty cleaning services across Miami-Dade County. Licensed, insured, and BBB accredited, The Prime Cleaner serves homeowners, landlords, Airbnb hosts, and property managers across South Miami, Coral Gables, Brickell, Coconut Grove, Pinecrest, Key Biscayne, Kendall, Miami Beach, Edgewater, Midtown Miami, the Miami Design District, Aventura, and surrounding neighborhoods.

New South Miami Office

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2000 South Dixie Highway, Suite 100B-A | Miami, FL 33133 | (786) 420-4273 | www.theprimecleaner.com/location/south-miami

Media Contact
Company Name: The Prime Cleaner
Contact Person: Jay Tomasino
Email: Send Email
Phone: (305) 575 – 2776
Address:2701 Biscayne Blvd
City: Miami
State: FL
Country: United States
Website: www.theprimecleaner.com

 

Press Release Distributed by ABNewswire.com

To view the original version on ABNewswire visit: The Prime Cleaner Opens New South Miami Location, Expanding Premium Cleaning Services Across Miami-Dade County

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Inside Miami’s billionaire bunker, a manmade island for the .01% where billionaires like Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg shell out for total privacy | Fortune

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Inside Miami’s billionaire bunker, a manmade island for the .01% where billionaires like Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg shell out for total privacy | Fortune


In a city known for flash and nine-figure price tags, Miami’s most coveted waterfront neighborhood features addresses that start at $60 million—and a near guarantee that you’ll never be able to visit. 

Indian Creek Island, also known as Billionaire Bunker, is a 300-acre, manmade strip of land in Biscayne Bay just north of Miami Beach that has attracted the ultra-rich in droves. Its monied residents include NFL quarterback Tom Brady, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, and President Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka Trump.

The main island contains a mere 40 lots of purely waterfront property, adding another layer of exclusivity on top of the inflated cost to entry. The island’s interior is dominated by the Indian Creek Country Club and its private 18-hole golf course. Those looking to rub shoulders on the links will have to reportedly pay a $500,000 initiation fee and go through a lengthy admissions process.

Though properties could be had for less, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg became the latest billionaire to reportedly snatch up a newly completed mansion at an estimated price tag of between $150 million and $200 million earlier this month. And of the ultra-wealthy who can afford to shell out millions for a home, many often tear down the existing structure to build a new one, said Michael Martirena, cofounder of the Ivan and Mike Team at real estate brokerage Compass.

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The Price of Exclusivity

With only 84 residents as of 2020, Indian Creek Island is one of the most exclusive enclaves in America, and a big reason why is the privacy and security that it affords its ultra-wealthy residents.

Indian Creek is an independent municipality with its own government and a police force that patrols the island 24/7 not only by land but also by sea. A single guarded bridge connects it to the mainland, and any visitors must show their ID and may even undergo vehicle inspection, said Martirena, who has toured properties there with clients.

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“It’s a bubble, and no one can get on and off, unless you have a reason,” said Martirena, who specializes in ultra-luxury real estate

Unlike nearby South Beach celebrity enclaves such as Palm, Star, and Hibiscus Islands—where boat tours regularly pass by waterfront mansions—Indian Creek’s marine patrols keep onlookers away, Martirena told Fortune.

Because of the island’s location and strategic landscaping, very few homes in the surrounding areas, like the Bay Harbor Islands or Surfside, have a clear view of Indian Creek Island. This makes it very private, said Martirena, and very desirable. 

“It’s the place to be,” said Martirena. “People of that caliber feel safe and not bothered.”

And yet, wealth alone doesn’t guarantee access. All the listings are done “off market,” said Martirena, meaning a buyer’s agent will have to deal directly with a property owner’s representatives, and contact them multiple times if they are not quite ready to sell.

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“It’s a small community, and just to keep the chatter at a low level, they do it all internally and very private,” he said.

In an already exclusive community, the western side offers an even more seclusive experience because the lots border the intracoastal waterway separating the island from the mainland, Mick Duchon, a Miami Beach–based real estate agent with the Corcoran Group, previously told Fortune. On this side of the island, home to two of the five richest people in the world, Zuckerberg and Bezos, the lots measure about 80,000 square feet, compared to 50,000 square feet which is the norm on the island, Duchon said.

Since announcing his move from Seattle to Florida in 2023, Bezos snapped up three properties on the island for more than $230 million combined. He’s turning two western lots into a compound while he lives in a Mediterranean-style house on the third lot on the other side of the island.

The billionaire migration to Indian Creek reflects a broader influx in South Florida luxury real estate, which Martirena described as “COVID 2.0.” Thanks in part to Florida’s lack of a state income tax, interest from high end buyers is exploding even as activity at the lower end of the housing market slows. 

Another factor is the proposed 5% billionaire wealth tax, which is gathering steam in California. Google co-founder Larry Page has reportedly begun shifting assets, including his family office, out of California. The billionaire recently paid $173 million for two waterfront mansions in Miami’s Coconut Grove neighborhood. 

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Martirena said his own business has picked up over the last couple of weeks, with three recent inquiries that he attributed directly to the potential wealth tax.

“They’re kind of pre-planning ahead of time. They don’t want to move here,” he said. “They want to stay in the state of California, because they love where they’re at, and they never thought of moving. But they work very hard for their money, and they said they like their pocketbook much more.”



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