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Cothrum: Stop with the speakerphones in public

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Cothrum: Stop with the speakerphones in public


(Michael Hogue)

If you spend time with me, you’ll potentially hear me muse, “I feel a column coming on.” Often, it’s because some city staff member or elected official has said or done something I deem egregious.

Other times, it’s because I’m trying to write about what everyone is experiencing. I’m listening for it. Unfortunately, it’s becoming harder and harder to listen because too many people are using their speakerphones in public. It’s a menace. From where I sit, people are increasingly violating the earspace of others.

As Woodrow Call in Lonesome Dove maintained: “I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.”

It makes me want to take out my old referee whistle and blow it and cry, “Foul!”

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I recently was forced to hear a lengthy Facetime interaction — a woman being beseeched by her friend, who was in Portugal, to travel more. Ironically, we were in a crowded airport terminal.

Sadly, she and her cousins were only off to Cincinnati.

I’ve been logging these conversations for a few months now. At Tom Thumb, an offender needed to discuss swim lessons by speakerphone. Out for a walk, I saw a shirtless man riding a bike — poorly, I might add — holding a phone and barreling toward me. My pandemic skills kicked in and I safely distanced. I’ve gotten to hear a woman discussing her aging mother’s health. I was worried I was unwittingly committing some HIPAA offense.

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I can report that people also feel compelled, while eating tacos, to watch programming on speakerphone. This is wildly out of bounds. Everyone has to be entertained all the time. We are not at Idiocracy levels yet, are we?

Still others think they are starring in their own reality television show. Often on those programs the loathsome contestants talk into their phones so as not to spoil the shot. Perhaps people think this has a high cool factor and seek to emulate it.

Come on, people. How hard is it to hold the phone to your ear? Maybe I’m more sensitive because I sometimes read in public — and not what’s on my phone. You know, like books and stuff.

I can’t turn my hearing off, so I try to turn off my active listening. It’s getting increasingly difficult to do so because the disruption is blatant.

Sometimes the culprit isn’t thinking about it. That’s a sin of omission. In others, however, it’s one of commission. They know it’s loud and invasive — and they do not care.

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I politely tried telling the guy eating tacos that the volume was bothering me. He curtly let me know, “I don’t care.”

I’m not always one to let things go — even in my 50s. I asked if he was aware of something revolutionary called headphones. He flashed me the number one signal. I hope he isn’t a newspaper subscriber.

I imagine many of these scoundrels are unhappy, unrecognized or frustrated with life. Maybe they are intentionally oversharing their volume because they need to be noticed. I am reminded of the work of the late psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. His groundbreaking work on nonviolent communication surmised that people are only ever saying two things: please and thank you.

These societal offenders seek attention. I have started to give them some with a simple greeting or wishing them a good day. I’ve tried to ask what musician or television program they’re enjoying. Next time, I’ll ask the guy eating tacos if his lunch is good.

“I like to listen,” Ernest Hemingway remarked. “I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

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I’m trying to hear people and listen to ideas. But all the noise makes me want to give up, put on my headphones and ignore everyone.

We welcome your thoughts in a letter to the editor. See the guidelines and submit your letter here. If you have problems with the form, you can submit via email at letters@dallasnews.com



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Dallas, TX

Lainey Wilson Suiting Up for Dallas Cowboys Halftime Show on Thanksgiving

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Lainey Wilson Suiting Up for Dallas Cowboys Halftime Show on Thanksgiving


Lainey Wilson will perform at the halftime show of the Dallas Cowboys’ Thanksgiving Day game against the New York Giants on Nov. 28 at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

The game, which will air on Fox, will also serve as the official kick-off of the Salvation Army’s 134th Red Kettle Campaign. A Cowboy tradition for 28 years, the halftime show highlights the start of the Red Kettle holiday season, and since the launch of the Red Kettle Kickoff, the Salvation Army has raised more than $3 billion.

Lainey Wilson

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Wilson, who will be joined by an unnamed special guest, is expected to perform songs from her new album Whirlwind, which debuted at No. 8 on the Billboard 200 in August, as well as some seasonal favorites.


“It’s an honor to follow in the footsteps of legendary performers like my friend Dolly Parton, The Jonas Brothers, and Reba, of course, to kick off The Salvation Army’s iconic Red Kettle Campaign,” Wilson said in a statement. “Join me at the Red Kettle this Christmas season because we truly can do more good when we come together to serve those in need in our communities.” 

In a video posted to her and the Cowboys’ social media sites, Wilson pretended to train to be an honorary Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Wearing Dallas Cowboys blue bellbottoms, she practiced a routine with the cheerleaders, breathlessly asking if she was the first person to attempt that in bell bottoms.

“Performers like Lainey Wilson represent the next generation of role models for so many,” added Charlotte Jones, chief brand officer and co-owner of the Dallas Cowboys and former national advisory board chairperson for The Salvation Army. “We are so thankful to have her energy and enthusiasm on our national stage this year to highlight the Red Kettle Kickoff and the importance of giving back to those who need it most.”

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Parton played the Thanksgiving halftime show last year. That game, which featured the Cowboys playing the Washington Commanders, drew 42 million viewers.  



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Cowboys’ Super Bowl window closing? This Dallas team is prompting flashbacks to 1985

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Cowboys’ Super Bowl window closing? This Dallas team is prompting flashbacks to 1985


One day after the current edition of the Dallas Cowboys nearly removed the 1985 squad from the team record book for biggest margin of defeat, it seems relevant to remember a few things about the season Dallas lost to the Super Bowl-shuffling Chicago Bears 44-0. The biggest, perhaps, is that team made the playoffs, anyway.

The ‘85 Cowboys not only got swamped by Chicago at Texas Stadium in November, they also lost at Cincinnati, 50-24. They closed the season with a 31-16 loss to the 49ers. The ‘85 team was capable of some really bad football (sound familiar?) and yet still slumped into the playoffs with a 10-6 record.

This was the first year I spent any time covering the team and some of us thought Tom Landry almost worthy of Coach of the Year recognition, given how he had taken a team so capable of being awful into the postseason. When the Rams eliminated Dallas 20-0 with Eric Dickerson rushing for a playoff record 248 yards (it still stands), we more or less gave up on that idea about Landry.

But it was the 20th consecutive winning season for Dallas. Tony Dorsett had rushed for 1,300 yards. Tony Hill was an 1,100-yard receiver. Even after the Rams loss, Cowboys GM Tex Schramm said, “I can’t wait to get back to being arrogant.” None of us knew that he never would, at least not for any Cowboys’ achievements.

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The ‘85 team marked the beginning of the dismal end. Dorsett would be relegated to a supporting role for Herschel Walker (a massive failure), Hill was about done, Danny White was closer than we knew and Dallas would have losing records the next three years. Bum Bright would sell the team in the ‘89 offseason, and, oh, does everyone know the rest of that story.

Tim Cowlishaw’s Cowboys-Lions report card: an appalling showcase of ineptitude

Fast forward to today. The Cowboys are 3-3, a game out of first in the NFC East. They keep telling themselves — head coach, quarterback and all the rest — that they are close, that there are lots of games left to play, that they need only to cut out the mistakes and get on the same page. Stare at the standings long enough and I understand how people convince themselves the Cowboys are still relevant in this chase.

They are not.

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When a team has absolutely no edge on its opponents at home, it’s a problem. Opposing teams suddenly love coming to AT&T Stadium. They know they will have plenty of fans. On Sunday, chants of “Jar-ed Goff” filled the stadium in the second half. Eagles fans will be here in abundance for the next home game Nov. 10 and, oh my, Houston comes in next on Nov. 18. The last time the Texans came to town with a good team in 2014, Tony Romo had to go to a silent count because of the noise.

You can think about the players Dallas should get back after the bye week — Daron Bland at corner, probably Micah Parsons on the edge, maybe Eric Kendricks at linebacker, certainly not DeMarcus Lawrence — and figure the defense will tighten up a bit. Is that going to be enough? This is a defense that ranks 24th in the league overall and 25th against the run. They’re 21st in takeaways (28th in turnover margin) and Dan Quinn isn’t coming through that door. Only the Rams and Carolina have a worse point differential than the Cowboys in the entire NFC.

Is that the look of a playoff-bound team?

Does Dak Prescott really have what it takes to elevate a mediocre team into something more? He’s got the worst passer rating of his career right now (85.5), and I realize passer rating does not tell the entire story. At least that’s what you say when Gardner Minshew and Andy Dalton have better numbers than Dak.

Modern Cowboys fans do not boo the way they once booed Don Meredith in the Cotton Bowl. They are too busy looking up to see if they made it on the big screen which overrides all else at AT&T Stadium. But there was a reasonable amount of booing an offense Sunday that managed only two field-goal drives on its own (KaVontae Turpin did ALL the work on the other one), and it seemed like more than a little was directed toward CeeDee Lamb when he appeared to disengage from Dak. He even walked off the field after a third- down misfire once, not paying enough attention to notice that the Cowboys were going for it on fourth down (and failing).

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Despite misfires vs. Lions, Cowboys’ CeeDee Lamb says he and Dak Prescott will ‘be fine’

It’s hard to connect what we just watched with getting to the playoffs. Dallas’ next two games are at San Francisco and Atlanta. If you give the Cowboys a split (overly generous), they are 4-4. Then the Eagles and Texans come where Dallas hasn’t competed all year — at home. Give them another generous split and they are 5-5 on the road to Washington to face the best offense in the division.

Unlike the ‘85 squad, I’m not sure this one has the stomach for surviving bad losses and securing enough wins to reach the playoffs. But the closing of a window? The beginning of the end? Given the roster mismanagement, the lack of focus of key players and a coaching staff hanging by the thread of last-year contracts, you can begin to see all of what we missed back in ‘85.

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Find more Cowboys coverage from The Dallas Morning News here.



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Texas teen's abduction at Dallas Mavericks NBA game shows nothing is off limits: expert

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Texas teen's abduction at Dallas Mavericks NBA game shows nothing is off limits: expert


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The heart-wrenching ordeal of Natalee Cramer, a Texas 15-year-old abducted from a Dallas Mavericks game and rescued from sex traffickers in Oklahoma 10 days later, is a reminder that “trafficking can happen to anyone anywhere,” an expert told Fox News Digital.

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“A trafficking victim can look like anyone, and a trafficker can look like anyone – people too often think ‘It doesn’t happen to me, it doesn’t happen in my country, it doesn’t happen to my community – it doesn’t happen to people here,’” said Stefany Ovalles, an attorney with the Center for Safety and Change who has legally represented dozens of sex trafficking victims. “To rely on that as a blanket statement is being too naive about what human trafficking looks like.”

Every two minutes worldwide, a child is sold into sexual slavery. Of the 4.8 million total victims of sex trafficking, 300,000 are American children, according to the Safe House Project nonprofit. 

It is estimated that sex trafficking generates more than $150 billion in profits for traffickers and their facilitators, according to the U.S. Department of State.

TEXAS TEEN ABDUCTED FROM DALLAS MAVERICKS NBA GAME SHARES WHAT LURED HER FROM DAD

Natalee Cramer and her abductor, Emanuel Cartagena, were seen walking together at the American Airlines Center on April 8, 2022. (Dallas Police Department)

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Natalee Cramer, now 18, was just 15 years old when she and her father attended a Mavericks game at American Airlines Center in Dallas on April 8, 2022. 

Cramer, who is now sober and pursuing a GED, said she was dependent on marijuana and alcohol to cope with her anxiety at the time, and when the game started, she began to feel anxious, she told WFAA.

Cramer told her father she was going to the bathroom, but she left her phone at her seat and did not return. On the arena’s concourse, Cramer made eye contact with her alleged abductor, 33-year-old Emanuel Cartagena. 

Cramer said she walked with Cartagena back to his car, where he said he had marijuana for them to smoke. A second person met them in the parking garage, and the three drove to a house in North Texas. 

“He didn’t tell me there was anyone else there with him,” Cramer said. “It was just him. He told me we would walk back to his car that was parked in the parking lot… in the garage… and that’s when the second guy came. They told me the weed was just in the car.

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TEXAS GIRL TRAFFICKED FROM DALLAS MAVERICKS GAME HELD AT HOTEL BY MEN WITH ‘AK-47 STYLE’ RIFLE: LAWSUIT

Headshots of 8 individuals connected to sex trafficking a 15-year-old girl.

The Oklahoma City Police Department has arrested Saniya Alexander, Melissa Wheeler, Chevaun Gibson, Kenneth Nelson, Sarah Hayes, Karen Gonzales, Thalia Gibson and Steven Hill in connection to the trafficking case of a 15-year-old girl from a Dallas Mavericks game. (Oklahoma City Detention Center)

“They did give me weed,” she told WFAA. “But there was more that they had in mind.”

Ovalles told Fox News Digital that the way Cramer fell into the hands of her captors underscores the importance of having difficult conversations with your children that could save their lives. 

“I learned in a couple of articles that the point of no return for [Cramer] was when she was being raped as opposed to any other sort of step before that,” Ovalles said. “It made me sort of wonder if a conversation happened about this being a potential danger, could she have known to trust her gut at the point of ‘Let me not follow this man to the parking lot’ or ‘There is another man here now that we’ve gotten to this parking lot.’ It’s why it’s so imperative to raise awareness that this is out there with hopes that it leads to more prevention.”

In some ways, Ovalles said, Cramer’s case is abnormal – “abduction in this way isn’t as common, [although] it does exist.”

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TEXAS GIRL, 15, TRAFFICKED FROM MAVERICKS GAME IN DALLAS; 8 ARRESTED IN OKLAHOMA: POLICE

A negative review for the ESA - Oklahoma City Airport Hotel describes prostitution taking place inside the establishment.

A negative review for the ESA – Oklahoma City Airport Hotel describes prostitution taking place inside the establishment. (Dallas County lawsuit)

Most victims are coerced into sex trafficking by someone that they already know, Ovalles said, like a romantic partner or family member. 

“But everything that happened [to Cramer] after [she was abducted] is pretty much in line with what we see in other trafficking cases,” Ovalles said, referring to the physical violence that she endured. 

The way that Cramer was inducted into sex trafficking falls under the umbrella of “guerrilla pimping”: when a trafficker suddenly, violently forces a victim into sex work. 

Ovalles said it’s more common for a romantic partner to gradually ease the victim into sex work, a method called “Lover Boy Pimping.” 

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“It starts off with an older guy pretending to be in a relationship with you and at some point he switches it up and says ‘I have this debt I need to pay off,’ or ‘I could really use your help, and you’re doing this for me because you love me,’” Ovalles explained. “That’s how they get into this situation – they end up staying there due to coercion.”

TEXAS GIRL TRAFFICKED FROM DALLAS MAVERICKS GAME LISTED AS A ‘RUNAWAY’ BEFORE NUDE PHOTOS SURFACED

Front facade of the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas.

Oklahoma City authorities have arrested and charged eight individuals after a 15-year-old Texas girl was allegedly trafficked from a Dallas Mavericks game at the American Airlines Center on April 8. (Getty Images )

Cramer was rescued after her family hired a private investigator in Houston who specializes in abduction cases. Within minutes, he was able to find photos of Cramer posted in an online sex ad and trace her location to Oklahoma City. 

Although it may seem brazen for a trafficker to post photos of an abducted girl online, Ovalles said it’s not uncommon, and that “there are a significant number of networks where Johns can have a safe space to look at online ads for children.”

The U.S. Senate and House passed the FOSTA and SESTA bills in 2018, which clarified existing sex trafficking laws and shut down sites like Backpage and the personals section of Craigslist, which were used to advertise sex work and commonly used by traffickers. 

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Now, such advertisements and photos are relegated to the corners of the dark web – but still accessible for those who are looking hard enough.

“They’ll find a way. They’ll say ‘This website is shut down? We’ll just recalibrate and go elsewhere,’” Ovalles said. “Traffickers are very, very savvy – it’s a multibillion-dollar industry for a reason.”

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American Airlines Center

A view of the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Dec. 17, 2020. (Jerome Miron-Imagn Images)

Not just abducted children are featured in these ads – Ovalles said a growing number of children are coerced into sharing intimate photos through “sextortion.”

“A child could be thrust into a sex trafficking scheme without ever leaving their home,” she said. “A predator befriends them over social media, catfishes them, gets them to send sexually explicit material and uses that batch to get more sexually explicit material by saying ‘I’ll expose this, I’ll send it to all of your friends and family members.’”

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Eight people – Saniya Alexander, Melissa Wheeler, Chevaun Gibson, Kenneth Nelson, Sarah Hayes, Karen Gonzales, Thalia Gibson and Steven Hill – were arrested after  Cartagena, the man who allegedly initially led Cramer back to his car before she was trafficked, was arrested by U.S. Marshals in January 2023 and charged with sexual assault of a child, according to WFAA. But a Dallas County grand jury decided there was not enough evidence to prosecute him.

Ovalles said she isn’t surprised that the man wasn’t charged – “while we have made strides in the area of human trafficking and getting more convictions, the conviction rate is so low compared to how many victims there are that it works to dissuade victims from coming forward and preventing this.”

Cramer’s parents have filed a lawsuit against the Oklahoma City Airport Hotel and other parties, claiming that they failed to acknowledge obvious signs that their daughter was being held against her will and trafficked. 

But Ovalles said the family is unlikely to win in court. 

“I can’t speak to what the case precedent looks like in Oklahoma for this, but it would be really difficult to hold the hotel liable when the trafficker himself isn’t even being persecuted for doing the trafficking,” she said. “It’s difficult to have the hotel assume liability. You’d have to show that they were so aware that this was happening and that she was underage. There would have to be so many precedents.”

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