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‘My Heart Was in My Throat, and the Tears Were Flowing’

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‘My Heart Was in My Throat, and the Tears Were Flowing’

Dear Diary:

I was in the audience for a performance of Rebecca Frecknall’s production of “A Streetcar Named Desire” at the Brooklyn Academy of Music.

In the play’s final minutes, my heart was in my throat, and tears were flowing. In my clouded peripheral vision, I noticed a young woman next to me. Her shoulders were shaking softly as she wept. After the house lights came up and the ovation died down, I turn to her.

“Could I give you a tissue?” I asked.

“Yes, actually,” she said. “That’s very kind.”

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I handed her a tissue.

“The kindness of strangers?” I said sheepishly, unable to help myself.

She took the tissue and blew her nose.

“Too soon,” she said.

— Deborah M. Brissman

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Dear Diary:

In 1954, when I was 11, I traveled from Washington, D.C., to New York City to visit my camp friend, Judy, for a week.

Thrillingly, my parents let me travel alone on the train. It was part of a planned “historical adventure.” Another part involved returning alone by airplane.

Judy’s widowed father met me at Grand Central. I waited for him near the lost-and-found window. I remember looking up at the sky mural on the ceiling and feeling at home in the universe.

Judy lived in a huge, old-fashioned apartment across from Central Park, with maybe 12-foot ceilings and tall windows hung with dark red velvet curtains. She had cats and an older brother who played the violin.

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Her father seemed old to me. He also seemed confident, which is probably why my parents trusted him to host me.

He took us to museums and the public library and let us explore on our own via the subway. The family had gotten tickets to “Peter Pan” on Broadway, with Mary Martin as Peter.

On the day of the show, a big storm with high winds materialized. I was afraid we would miss the show, but Judy’s father was undeterred.

We walked and then ran together to the theater in the rain, without umbrellas. As we did, gusting winds shattered a window above us, and glass showered down onto our heads like diamonds.

The play was magical, and the characters flew on wires. The next day I flew home on American Airlines. It was a very bumpy ride.

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— Ruth Henderson


Dear Diary:

My first day as an intern at the Guggenheim Museum was my third day in New York City. Fresh off a plane from Scotland, I had rented a room at the 92nd Street Y because I didn’t know a soul in town.

My internship supervisor took me to lunch to celebrate my first day, and while we were in line getting our food we met a tall, shy man, a former intern. When I sat down at a table, the former intern did too.

My supervisor got up and went to another table to talk to some colleagues. The former intern, Austin, and I struck up a conversation. Eventually, we became part of a gang of friends that summer.

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After the internship ended, I was hired full time, and a year later Austin became my roommate. Two years after that, he asked me out on a date, and three years later, we were married.

The group of friends I met that first summer came to our wedding and have remained our New York family ever since. These friendships are now two decades strong. I think of them every time I am in the Guggenheim’s rotunda.

— Michelle Millar Fisher


Dear Diary:

Earphones in and sunglasses on, I was power-walking home through Central Park.

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Suddenly, I noticed an older couple waving at me. It turned out that they were lost. They unfolded a paper map and asked for help finding Naumburg Bandshell.

I squinted at the map, nodded as if I understood it, then pulled out my phone to check Google Maps. As luck would have it, we were heading the same way, so we decided to walk together.

They were off to hear an orchestral ensemble, and their faces lit up when I mentioned that I played the viola in a graduate medical student orchestra.

When we got to the band shell, they surprised me with an extra ticket and insisted I join them. At intermission, we discovered that we lived just a few blocks apart on the Upper West Side. We shared a taxi home, and over an impromptu dinner, a friendship took shape.

A year and a half later, we still gather for dinner, a reminder that some of the sweetest connections are the ones that come unexpectedly.

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— Mollie Hobensack


Dear Diary:

I went to a new bagel store in Brooklyn Heights with my son.

When it was my turn to order, I asked for a cinnamon raisin bagel with whitefish salad and a slice of red onion.

The man behind the counter looked up at me.

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“I’m sorry,” he said. “I can’t do that.”

— Richie Powers

Read all recent entries and our submissions guidelines. Reach us via email diary@nytimes.com or follow @NYTMetro on Twitter.

Illustrations by Agnes Lee

Do you have a tale of a memorable experience that occurred during a childhood trip to New York City? Please submit it below or share it in the comments. While you’re there, join the conversation.

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Video: Protesters Arrested After Trying to Block a Possible ICE Raid

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Video: Protesters Arrested After Trying to Block a Possible ICE Raid

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Protesters Arrested After Trying to Block a Possible ICE Raid

Nearly 200 protesters tried to block federal agents from leaving a parking garage in Lower Manhattan on Saturday. The confrontation appeared to prevent a possible ICE raid nearby, and led to violent clashes between the police and protesters.

[chanting] “ICE out of New York.”

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Nearly 200 protesters tried to block federal agents from leaving a parking garage in Lower Manhattan on Saturday. The confrontation appeared to prevent a possible ICE raid nearby, and led to violent clashes between the police and protesters.

By Jorge Mitssunaga

November 30, 2025

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Video: New York City’s Next Super Storm

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Video: New York City’s Next Super Storm

new video loaded: New York City’s Next Super Storm

What’s a worst-case scenario for hurricane flooding in New York City? Our reporter Hilary Howard, who covers the environment in the region, explores how bad it could get as climate change powers increasingly extreme rainfall and devastating storm surges.

By Hilary Howard, Gabriel Blanco, Stephanie Swart and K.K. Rebecca Lai

November 26, 2025

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New York’s BQE Is Falling Apart. The City Can’t Agree on How to Fix It.

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New York’s BQE Is Falling Apart. The City Can’t Agree on How to Fix It.

The triple cantilever runs along the edge of Brooklyn Heights, a wealthy and politically connected neighborhood. It stands as a symbol of resistance to Robert Moses, the power broker who rammed highways through communities.

When Mr. Moses tried that approach here in the 1940s, Brooklyn Heights residents pushed back, and Mr. Moses rerouted the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway around them.

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At the top sits the Brooklyn Heights Promenade, a cherished landmark with skyline views where generations of New Yorkers have come for their first date.

Below, two levels of traffic jut out like drawers pulled from a dresser. The highway is the main artery between Brooklyn and Queens, and it is part of Interstate 278, the only road that connects New York’s five boroughs.

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The cantilever, which opened in 1954, was designed to be used for 50 years. The risks only go up as it continues to deteriorate year after year, even as its life span has been extended with interim measures. While city officials and transportation engineers say imminent collapse is not a threat, other catastrophes could still strike, like concrete falling off and hitting vehicles.

Since 2018, two New York City mayors — Bill de Blasio and Eric Adams — have announced that they would fix this vital artery. But both administrations were unprepared for the ferocious community opposition to their ideas on how to proceed. Both struggled to build any consensus at all as local residents countered with their own ideas. The endless back and forth led to more delays and inertia.

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Traffic on the triple cantilever passes through Brooklyn Heights.

Erin Schaff/The New York Times

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The standoff over the B.Q.E. has become, more broadly, a symbol of the power that local communities wield over critical infrastructure projects around the nation.

Though community opposition is hardly new, it is thriving today as residents have become more nimble and sophisticated at influencing projects, or halting them entirely. They strategize about just who to target with their ads and protests, assemble technical experts and consultants to argue on their behalf, and extend their reach with email blasts, online petitions and social media.

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In Los Angeles, a plan to widen the 710 Freeway, one of the nation’s busiest freight corridors, was canceled in 2022 amid community opposition. A major street improvement project in Detroit was paused last summer, in part over the public’s concerns about its design, while state officials took another approach. And a Buffalo project championed by New York Gov. Kathy Hochul to reconnect communities divided by a highway stalled recently after a state court ruled in favor of critics.

This community pushback is often characterized as NIMBYism — the “not in my backyard” impediment to change — but the reality is more nuanced. Many Brooklyn residents say they are not against improving the B.Q.E., and, in fact, are fighting for a better future with less traffic and more space for people.

But now, time is running out for the triple cantilever.

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A highway in decay

The cantilever structure anchors a 1.5-mile stretch from Atlantic Avenue to Sands Street that is owned by the city. The rest of the 16-mile highway belongs to the state.

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Source: OpenStreetMaps.

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The New York Times

Even before the latest effort, state transportation officials had sought to rehabilitate the cantilever section in 2006. They dropped the project in 2011, citing fiscal concerns and other priorities. That left the problem to the city.

The triple cantilever was increasingly flagged for potential safety hazards, said Bojidar Yanev, a former city transportation official who oversaw inspections from 1989 to 2018. “The structure was unraveling,” he said.

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Since at least 1996, the city has fastened metal mesh sheets to the underside of the roadway, particularly below joints, as a stop-gap measure to hold crumbling concrete in place and prevent accidents.

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Photo by Helmuth Rosales/The New York Times

The growing areas protected by the mesh sheets became the most visible sign of the triple cantilever’s decay. It was not easy to inspect the internal structure, which was enclosed in concrete like a catacomb, Dr. Yanev said.

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Inspectors cut openings into the walls of the cantilever in 2016, finding that water and road salt had penetrated the structure at the joints. This caused the steel rebars in the concrete to corrode and expand, forcing chunks of concrete to fall off. Without major structural intervention, this degradation progressively weakens the triple cantilever’s strength.

In September, Times reporters captured video of the undersides of the triple cantilever to understand the structure’s current state.

Analysis of the footage revealed hundreds of steel mesh sheets placed along the structure’s undersides, including at the cantilever’s deteriorated joints, to hold the concrete in place.

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Note: Locations of steel mesh sheets are based on videos captured in September by The Times of the triple cantilever’s undersides.

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The New York Times

City officials say the triple cantilever is safe until at least 2029, with current protective measures. They closely monitor the structure and have taken steps to stabilize it, including making repairs and installing sensors to ticket overweight trucks. After that time, the city may have to further restrict traffic to reduce weight on the cantilever.

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First wave of ideas

Mayor de Blasio’s administration presented two options in 2018 to rebuild the cantilever, touching off the fiercest battle over the B.Q.E. since it was built.

Polly Trottenberg, then the city transportation commissioner, told residents in Brooklyn at the time that “none of the options are going to be very lovable, and that’s the challenge we face.”

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One option would rebuild the highway lane by lane and reroute traffic around the construction. The more controversial proposal, favored by the city, would erect a temporary six-lane highway over the promenade while the lower decks were rebuilt.

Both options would mean losing access to the promenade for years, but the temporary highway would also bring traffic, noise and pollution right to the doors of Brooklyn Heights.

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Furious residents rallied to save the promenade. They raised tens of thousands of dollars to fund their campaign, hired public relations and lobbying consultants, and started a petition that garnered more than 70,000 signatures.

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Of course, the promenade itself was born from an earlier fight with Mr. Moses. In 1942, the Brooklyn Eagle newspaper learned that a new highway could cut through the neighborhood and warned: “Plan for Express Highway Through Heights Is Shocking.”

Residents demanded that it be pushed toward the industrial waterfront and suggested building a “double-decker highway” to take up a smaller footprint, and a roof to cover the noise and fumes — which became the promenade.

Mr. Moses later wrote that “the two shelves of the cantilevers carrying commercial traffic and the overhanging cantilever roof for the promenade and park were designed for the greatest benefit to the Heights.”

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A view of the promenade then and now.

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The New York Times archives (left); Bedel Saget/The New York Times

This time, many Brooklyn residents, as well as architects and urban planners, looked to places like San Francisco, Seattle and Rochester, N.Y., that have torn down or repurposed highways to reconnect neighbors and create more housing, parks and transit.

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Two alternatives to the city’s ideas illustrate how Brooklyn residents see this as an opportunity to make radical changes that would benefit their neighborhoods and the city.

Mark R. Baker, a lawyer, businessman and parks activist, proposed in 2019 to move all the traffic to street level and enclose it in a ventilated tunnel. The cantilever would become a three-level park, called the “Tri-Line,” similar to Manhattan’s High Line.

“We had to protect the promenade, which is one of the most spectacular open spaces in New York City or the world, really,” Mr. Baker said.

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Roy Sloane, a graphic artist and advertising executive, advocated for his earlier idea from 2010 for a tunnel, which would help divert traffic away from the cantilever section.

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The “Cross Downtown Brooklyn Tunnel” — which would become the new alignment for Interstate 278 — would alleviate the traffic and pollution that spills off the B.Q.E. onto streets in the area. The triple cantilever could then be rehabilitated for cars and light trucks going between neighborhoods, and, with less traffic, nearby sections of the highway could also be turned into boulevards.

“Through traffic is the issue for the residential neighborhoods that are parallel to the B.Q.E.,” Mr. Sloane said.

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Other notable concepts included one by Bjarke Ingels Group to transform the triple cantilever into “BQ-Park,” a grander version of Mr. Baker’s Tri-Line. The City Council, working with Arup, an engineering firm, floated an idea to demolish the triple cantilever and replace it with a three-mile bypass tunnel.

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After hearing from residents, Scott Stringer, then the city comptroller in 2019, jumped in with a proposal to limit the cantilever to trucks, while adding bus and bike lanes and a park.

City officials promised to consider all these ideas. Mr. de Blasio, a former Brooklyn councilman with deep ties to the borough, convened a panel of experts to study the B.Q.E.

The panel reported in January 2020 that the cantilever was in worse shape than believed and called for safety measures, including removing two of the six traffic lanes to reduce vehicle weight.

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The steel and concrete triple cantilever has deteriorated over the years, and various ideas to renovate or overhaul it have failed to gain traction.

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Haiyun Jiang/The New York Times

Carlo A. Scissura, who led the panel, said the city was not ready to choose among the various concepts without more comprehensive engineering studies. “It would have just been like, ‘Oh, this looks beautiful, let’s just do it,’ ” he said.

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When the coronavirus gripped New York in March 2020, resources shifted to the health crisis, and the momentum to fix the B.Q.E. was lost.

Shortly before leaving office, Mr. de Blasio said the city would postpone a permanent solution and instead spend more than $500 million to shore up the B.Q.E. for 20 years.

Second wave of ideas

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After Mr. Adams became mayor in 2022, he decided the B.Q.E. could no longer wait. He hoped to tap into federal infrastructure funds unlocked by the Biden administration and start construction within five years.

Mr. Adams had opposed the city’s temporary highway idea in 2019 as Brooklyn borough president. And his new administration presented three new concepts — “The Stoop,” “The Terraces” and “The Lookout” — that shifted the focus to open space.

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The Stoop grew out of community interest in BQ-Park, the idea proposed by Bjarke Ingels Group in 2019. City officials hired the firm to help pressure test BQ-Park, only to find that it could not be built because of infrastructure constraints. The Stoop was developed as an alternative concept, but was later shelved amid criticism from residents about the design.

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Vishaan Chakrabarti, an architect and urbanist, said that many of the visions for the B.Q.E. did not fully consider engineering and cost constraints. “Communities get enamoured with ideas that aren’t viable, and then they start thinking worse of the ideas that are viable,” he said.

City officials said the B.Q.E. was an important economic artery, and that without it, trucks would jam nearby streets. They tried to strike a balance between a safe, modern highway and quality-of-life concerns, they said.

Since 2022, they have held 30 public meetings about the B.Q.E. In response to feedback, they committed to a plan that would not impact the promenade or Brooklyn Bridge Park, or require taking private property. They helped secure a $5.6 million federal grant to improve neighborhoods along the state-owned sections.

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Still, many Brooklyn residents complained about a lack of transparency. They said many of their questions were not fully answered and their suggestions went nowhere.

As public discussion evolved over the years, three broad groups of stakeholders emerged: neighbors, dreamers and pragmatists.

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The neighbors saw an opportunity to improve public transit and to reduce the impact of traffic on their health, safety and climate. The dreamers went further and envisioned tearing down the highway for more housing, businesses and parks, and shifting to more sustainable ways to move people and freight. The pragmatists focused on maintaining a vital traffic corridor that would still be needed in the future and fixing a cantilever that had become a safety hazard as soon as possible.

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Three broad groups of stakeholders of the B.Q.E. project are neighbors, dreamers and pragmatists — each with its own vision for the future of the expressway.

Bedel Saget / The New York Times

A leading voice of the neighbors was Lara Birnback, the executive director of the Brooklyn Heights Association, who said the city should develop “a more holistic, forward-thinking solution.” The association, which is part of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway-Environmental Justice Coalition, has called for a corridorwide plan.

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“Our perspective at this point is, let’s not spend billions and billions of dollars cementing the status quo, no pun intended, by shoring up the cantilever for 100 years,” Ms. Birnback said.

In the dreamer camp was the Institute for Public Architecture, which highlighted the harmful legacy of the B.Q.E. through community meetings, an oral history project and a documentary by Adam Paul Susaneck, an urban planner. The dreamers asked: What would a future without the B.Q.E. look like?

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Antonio Reynoso, the Brooklyn borough president, said he saw a future with more freight moving on the waterways and less reliance on polluting highways like the B.Q.E. He told city transportation officials that he would like them to explore the option of tearing down the cantilever. But he said that option was never presented in community meetings.

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Aerial photo by Vincent Alban / The New York Times

Pragmatists like Samuel I. Schwartz, a former chief engineer for the city Transportation Department who established a transportation research program at Hunter College, urged city officials to immediately fix the cantilever and leave amenities like parks to be added later. He pointed to the Williamsburg Bridge as a cautionary lesson. In April 1988, it was shut down for more than a month after decades of neglect, causing widespread chaos.

“There should be urgency,” he said, “because something is going to happen if nothing is done.”

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Third wave of ideas

Many New York projects have run into opposition, like the $10 billion plan to replace the Port Authority Bus Terminal that was substantially revised last year with community input. “Community opposition is a way of life,” Mr. Schwartz said. “It doesn’t mean we stop.”

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But the B.Q.E. has often seemed adrift, without a strong champion at the helm to build consensus. Communities have a right to speak out, and “the job of government is to hear the voices and then whittle it down into something that works,” Mr. Stringer said.

Brooklyn Councilman Lincoln Restler said the Adams administration has seemed more interested in checking a box than really collaborating with the community. Any plan for the B.Q.E., he added, faces multiple layers of government review and approvals and will require community support to move forward. “We’ve got a long way to go,” he said.

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Cars in a traffic jam near the north end of the triple cantilever during rush hour in September.

Haiyun Jiang/The New York Times

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In 2024, the Adams administration presented another concept for the B.Q.E. — the city’s third attempt — this time emphasizing an engineering solution: a two-level, stacked highway that would be supported on both sides.

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Marc Wouters, an architect and urban planner, countered with yet another idea. In 2019, he had partnered with the Brooklyn Heights Association on a plan to protect the promenade. Since then, he has spent thousands of hours working on his own to take field measurements, build 3-D models and test engineering scenarios.

The result is the “Streamline” plan, which would be quicker to build, cost less than other options, and have minimal impact on the promenade and surrounding area, Mr. Wouters said. It would move all traffic to an expanded bottom deck and repurpose the upper deck for bike lanes and a park.

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“I’m hoping that it advances because it does seem to check a lot of boxes off for the community,” he said.

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Last month, Mayor Adams urged Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy to start the environmental review process for the B.Q.E., which would consider a range of plans and allow construction to begin in 2029. “After a fix for the B.Q.E. languished for decades, the Adams administration advanced this project further than ever before to build a safe, resilient highway,” said Anna Correa, a spokeswoman for Mr. Adams, this week.

But a new mayor, Zohran Mamdani, will take over in January and may have his own ideas. Mr. Mamdani knows that protecting the safety and stability of the B.Q.E. is “an urgent priority for the city,” said his spokeswoman, Dora Pekec. “After years of patchwork fixes that have only offered temporary fixes, the Mamdani administration will work to deliver a permanent solution for the city-owned sections of the B.Q.E. that both meets community needs and preserves this essential transportation corridor,” she said.

That will not be a quick or easy process. Big hurdles remain, including how to pay for the project. It was passed over for federal funding in 2024 and could cost up to $5 billion, depending on the plan chosen.

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“I think the B.Q.E. has just bedeviled and frustrated everybody who’s ever driven on it, looked at it, and worked on it — it’s like a curse,” Ms. Birnback said.

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An aerial view of the triple cantilever.

Bedel Saget/The New York Times

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Note: The ideas illustrated in the story are schematic interpretations by The New York Times, based on the original proposals.

Video at the top of this article by Todd Heisler. Additional work by Nico Chilla.

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