News
Transitioning later in life can feel isolating. One social group wants to change that
(From left to right) Portrait of Nicole Brownstein, Bernie Wagenblast, and Patrick Buenaventura at Wagenblast’s home in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
hide caption
toggle caption
Gabby Jones for NPR
(From left to right) Portrait of Nicole Brownstein, Bernie Wagenblast, and Patrick Buenaventura at Wagenblast’s home in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
When Bernie Wagenblast went to her first PROUDLY Me! meeting, she had no plans to transition.
She was in her late 50s, working as a radio announcer and using what she calls her “guy voice.” Then, she found the New Jersey-based support group for trans and nonbinary people of all ages. “I started it with the hope that it would be enough,” says Wagenblast, “and I wouldn’t have to go any further.”
At the time, her biggest fear with fully, publicly coming out was losing her life partner.
It’s a big fear for many older trans people who aren’t out, says Leigh Mann, a gender-affirming voice therapist and the former co-facilitator of PROUDLY Me!. Mann says that when people weigh the risks of coming out, “there’s a calculus that happens – and it’s unique for every person.” Personal safety, for example, is part of everyone’s calculus. When you pair that with the jeopardy of losing your spouse, contact with your children, or even your job, “it just gets exponentially more complicated.”
A night she calls ‘her Cinderella Story’
Wagenblast’s personal calculus shifted the night of the PROUDLY Me! semi-formal annual award ceremony. “In years past, I had always gone in a jacket and tie, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that this time.” So she reached out to her older trans mentor, another PROUDLY Me! member.
Her mentor instructed her to stop by a Halloween store and buy a cheap wig and a pair of heels. “You come down to my house with the wig and the heels, I’ve got a dress for you, I’ll do your makeup, and you’ll go to this event as your true self.”
Nicole Brownstein adds a necklace to Bernie’s Wagenblast’s outfit.
Gabby Jones for NPR
hide caption
toggle caption
Gabby Jones for NPR
Nicole Brownstein adds a necklace to Bernie’s Wagenblast’s outfit.
Gabby Jones for NPR
Mentor Nicole Brownstein has done many of these makeovers for other trans women who’ve come to her in the same position. She’s helped all of them. “It’s like a big movie production,” says Brownstein. “I have them sit in a chair facing away from the mirror and then have them turn around.” In that moment when they first look at themselves, Brownstein sees the same expression that she saw in herself all those years ago: “to finally be able to see yourself as you’ve always envisioned yourself.”
That night, Wagenblast decided that she could and would socially transition. In the process, her greatest fear came true. Her marriage of 42 years came to an end.
“This person who was and is my best friend is no longer part of my daily life. That’s terribly difficult,” she says. “But friendships have become far more important in my life.”
Friendships like the one she has with Brownstein, who’s 77. Wagenblast and Brownstein belong to a close group of trans women who will regularly get together for dinner and drinks. “Just a group of girls going out to spend a nice evening together,” says Brownstein.
A chance for intergenerational friendships
While the PROUDLY Me! support group does have members of all ages, many love it specifically because of Wagenblast and Brownstein – and the others navigating this later in life.
This is especially true for Patrick Buenaventura. When they went to their first meeting, they lamented starting their journey at the age of 53. Until Brownstein shared that she began transitioning in her 60s – and then other members followed suit.
Portrait of Patrick Buenaventura wearing their award ceremony attire at Bernie’s house in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
hide caption
toggle caption
Gabby Jones for NPR
Portrait of Patrick Buenaventura wearing their award ceremony attire at Bernie’s house in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
That’s when it clicked for Buenaventura. “We all have our own journeys and we have our own timelines. This just happens to be mine – and I’m right on time. When I was supposed to transition is now.”
PROUDLY Me! also creates a space for younger and older trans people to come together in unexpected ways. Buenaventura remembers one college-aged person who came up to them and said that it was nice to see older trans folks, “because they couldn’t imagine their life when they were older.”
On the flipside, they’ve also learned from younger members to be less concerned with passing. “They’re like, ‘I will dress how I want. If I want to be a trans man or transmasculine, it doesn’t mean I have to wear a suit and tie. If I want to wear a skirt, I’ll wear a skirt.’ They’re defining themselves, and not letting the world tell them who to be or how to be.”
Without a community like PROUDLY Me!, it’s easier to feel isolated at any age. Kristi, who’s 65, requested anonymity since she’s not out as trans to friends and family.
She longs for closer connections to other trans women, but says she hesitates to join support groups since she hasn’t taken certain steps – like socially transitioning, starting hormone therapy or getting gender-affirming surgery. “I don’t present myself fully as a woman,” says Kristi. “And I don’t want people to say, ‘well, let’s ignore her. She’s not part of us, really.’ “
Currently, Kristi has no plans to socially transition. And she wishes there was a stronger community for people like her – people who don’t know when they’ll take those steps, or if they’ll ever take them. “Am I not going far enough? Am I not courageous enough to come out and be a woman?” Kristi routinely asks herself these questions. But then she’ll tell herself: “there are people who don’t feel compelled to do that. And that doesn’t make the journey any less real.”
(From left to right) Portrait of Patrick Buenaventura, Bernie Wagenblast, and Nicole Brownstein, wearing their award ceremony attire at Wagenblast’s house in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
hide caption
toggle caption
Gabby Jones for NPR
(From left to right) Portrait of Patrick Buenaventura, Bernie Wagenblast, and Nicole Brownstein, wearing their award ceremony attire at Wagenblast’s house in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
It’s been about a year since Bernie Wagenblast socially transitioned. And she’s still reveling in her new life. “To finally be living it for the first four or five months, it was like, ‘Pinch me. I’m afraid this is a dream, and that I’m going to wake up.’ “
Wagenblast is 67 now. Sometimes, she thinks about what it would’ve been like to come out earlier. To be a teenage girl, or a woman in her 20s.
But mostly, she’s just glad to be out now.
new video loaded: F.A.A. Ignored Safety Concerns Prior to Collision Over Potomac, N.T.S.B. Says
transcript
transcript
F.A.A. Ignored Safety Concerns Prior to Collision Over Potomac, N.T.S.B. Says
The National Transportation Safety Board said that a “multitude of errors” led to the collision between a military helicopter and a commercial jet, killing 67 people last January.
-
“I imagine there will be some difficult moments today for all of us as we try to provide answers to how a multitude of errors led to this tragedy.” “We have an entire tower who took it upon themselves to try to raise concerns over and over and over and over again, only to get squashed by management and everybody above them within F.A.A. Were they set up for failure?” “They were not adequately prepared to do the jobs they were assigned to do.”
By Meg Felling
January 27, 2026
President Trump speaks as U.S. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth looks on during a meeting of his Cabinet at the White House in December 2025.
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
hide caption
toggle caption
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
Relatives of two Trinidadian men killed in an airstrike last October are suing the U.S. government for wrongful death and for carrying out extrajudicial killings.
The case, filed in Massachusetts, is the first lawsuit over the strikes to land in a U.S. federal court since the Trump administration launched a campaign to target vessels off the coast of Venezuela. The American government has carried out three dozen such strikes since September, killing more than 100 people.
Among them are Chad Joseph, 26, and Rishi Samaroo, 41, who relatives say died in what President Trump described as “a lethal kinetic strike” on Oct. 14, 2025. The president posted a short video that day on social media that shows a missile targeting a ship, which erupts in flame.
“This is killing for sport, it’s killing for theater and it’s utterly lawless,” said Baher Azmy, legal director of the Center for Constitutional Rights. “We need a court of law to rein in this administration and provide some accountability to the families.”
The White House and Pentagon justify the strikes as part of a broader push to stop the flow of illegal drugs into the U.S. The Pentagon declined to comment on the lawsuit, saying it doesn’t comment on ongoing litigation.
But the new lawsuit described Joseph and Samaroo as fishermen doing farm work in Venezuela, with no ties to the drug trade. Court papers said they were headed home to family members when the strike occurred and now are presumed dead.
Neither man “presented a concrete, specific, and imminent threat of death or serious physical injury to the United States or anyone at all, and means other than lethal force could have reasonably been employed to neutralize any lesser threat,” according to the lawsuit.
Lenore Burnley, the mother of Chad Joseph, and Sallycar Korasingh, the sister of Rishi Samaroo, are the plaintiffs in the case.
Their court papers allege violations of the Death on the High Seas Act, a 1920 law that makes the U.S. government liable if its agents engage in negligence that results in wrongful death more than 3 miles off American shores. A second claim alleges violations of the Alien Tort Statute, which allows foreign citizens to sue over human rights violations such as deaths that occurred outside an armed conflict, with no judicial process.
The American Civil Liberties Union, the Center for Constitutional Rights, and Jonathan Hafetz at Seton Hall University School of Law are representing the plaintiffs.
“In seeking justice for the senseless killing of their loved ones, our clients are bravely demanding accountability for their devastating losses and standing up against the administration’s assault on the rule of law,” said Brett Max Kaufman, senior counsel at the ACLU.
U.S. lawmakers have raised questions about the legal basis for the strikes for months but the administration has persisted.
—NPR’s Quil Lawrence contributed to this report.
new video loaded: New Video Analysis Reveals Flawed and Fatal Decisions in Shooting of Pretti
By Devon Lum, Haley Willis, Alexander Cardia, Dmitriy Khavin and Ainara Tiefenthäler
January 26, 2026
W.Va. Senator calls for CPS reform after death of 11-year-old girl from Taylor County
Sage-grouse local working groups swiftly disbanded by Game and Fish
Crypto Crime Wave Fueled by Chinese-Language Money Laundering | PYMNTS.com
Global brand in an EFL world – Wrexham’s finances explained as club eye Premier League
Fitness expert shares low-effort movement routines for days you’re too tired to exercise: ‘Even a few minutes of…’
Florida High School Football Rankings: Top 25 teams – Oct. 21
Cleary's 21 help Le Moyne down Central Connecticut State 69-64 in OT
How old is Bo Nix? What to know about Oregon quarterback ahead of 2024 NFL Draft
99th annual Pony Swim held in Virginia
Indiana Members Credit Union announced as new anchor tenant at Bottleworks District
Video: F.A.A. Ignored Safety Concerns Prior to Collision Over Potomac, N.T.S.B. Says
Democrats demand Kristi Noem be fired or warn impeachment will follow
EU Commissioner Virkkunen urges US to respect EU digital rules
Families of killed men file first U.S. federal lawsuit over drug boat strikes
Video: New Video Analysis Reveals Flawed and Fatal Decisions in Shooting of Pretti
-
Sports1 week agoMiami’s Carson Beck turns heads with stunning admission about attending classes as college athlete
-
Illinois5 days agoIllinois school closings tomorrow: How to check if your school is closed due to extreme cold
-
Pittsburg, PA1 week agoSean McDermott Should Be Steelers Next Head Coach
-
Lifestyle1 week agoNick Fuentes & Andrew Tate Party to Kanye’s Banned ‘Heil Hitler’
-
Pennsylvania1 day agoRare ‘avalanche’ blocks Pennsylvania road during major snowstorm
-
Sports1 week agoMiami star throws punch at Indiana player after national championship loss
-
Cleveland, OH1 week agoNortheast Ohio cities dealing with rock salt shortage during peak of winter season
-
Science1 week ago‘It is scary’: Oak-killing beetle reaches Ventura County, significantly expanding range