Lifestyle
Why Rob Delaney loves failure: 'I smash it up into a powder and I snort it' : Wild Card with Rachel Martin
Rob Delaney on the red carpet for the UK sneak peek event for Deadpool & Wolverine in July.
Justin Tallis/Getty Images
hide caption
toggle caption
Justin Tallis/Getty Images

Rob Delaney on the red carpet for the UK sneak peek event for Deadpool & Wolverine in July.
Justin Tallis/Getty Images
A note from Wild Card host Rachel Martin: When I left news and started Wild Card, I thought back over the many years of interviews I had done, and I did a mental inventory of people I’d like to go back and talk to again through this game. It would have to be someone who is honest about their life and it helps if they don’t take themselves too seriously. And when I thought about who I’d want to hear answer these questions, I immediately thought of Rob Delaney.
Delaney is a comedian and an actor known for creating and co-starring in the award-winning series Catastrophe. And he’s currently in the summer blockbuster Deadpool & Wolverine. I first talked to Rob in 2022 right after his memoir came out. It’s called A Heart That Works, and here’s where I tell you that Rob has lived through the worst of things. The book is about the death of his two-year-old son from brain cancer.

But believe me when I say that I have never read a book that made me laugh as much as it made me cry. I’ve thought a lot about that conversation with Rob since then. I’m a parent, so it’s inevitable that a story would stay with me. But specifically, I feel grateful to him because he gave me this ridiculous image. When we talked about what happens after we die, he said, “I think we’re ingredients in the big stew and we’ll be mixed into dinner for some cosmic Godzilla. And he, in turn, will metabolize us and then belch us into his next incarnation.”
This is now what I teach my children about the afterlife. And I was hoping for some more weird metaphors to inform my parenting, which is why I wanted Delaney to play this game.
This Wild Card interview has been edited for length and clarity. Host Rachel Martin asks guests randomly-selected questions from a deck of cards. Tap play above to listen to the full podcast, or read an excerpt below.
Question 1: What’s a moment when a stranger made you feel loved?
Rob Delaney: Oh my gosh. I want to be honest with you now, but I have some memories that I’ve never told people before. Not ever. And it’s not that they’re so intense, but they’re just sort of these touchstone things that I can revisit when I’m sad or angry to think about people’s goodness.
One is so strange: It’s a snowy day. I’m in elementary school, maybe fourth grade. And I was in a hallway at my school, and an adult woman, who didn’t work at the school, I don’t know who she was, came in and, like, snow came in with her and was, you know, swirling around her. It was maybe the last day of school before Christmas. And I remember she looked at me and she just said, “I hope you have a merry Christmas.”

She made eye contact with me, and I’d never seen her before, and it just felt so nice to have an adult stranger look at me, a stranger boy, and just say something, nothing remarkable, but just a sweet thing. I think she might’ve been an angel.
Rachel Martin: Do you actually think that?
Delaney: Yeah. Because why does it stick with me for so many years? It’s one of those things where there was something deeper happening in that moment than just the words. I think she was a special, special person who visited me. I also feel nervous that I told you about it, because that’s one of my special memories. So please anyone listening, forget you heard this or, alternately, please treasure it like I do.
Question 2: What is a failure you still think about?
Delaney: The thing is, I love failure. I love it. I smash it up into a powder and I snort it. It’s so good.
Martin: [laughs]
Delaney: Catastrophe did well as a show, ran for four seasons, it won awards.
Martin: I loved it.
Delaney: Thank you. And then the pilot I made after that, every network was like, “Get out. This stinks.” And I was like, “Yes! You think that’s gonna stop me?” I know now that the staircase to success, the only thing you can build it out of is failures. So I’m glad that I still fail.
The trailer for season 1 of Catastrophe.
YouTube
Martin: How did you get so wise on that? Like, you couldn’t have come out of the womb that way.
Delaney: No, God no. I mean, I think the death of our son Henry has got to be a big part of that. Like, “Oh, the big network didn’t want my show? So what.” You know what I mean? I’m not really phased by certain things that I used to be. And also, if you’re going to be an artist of any value, you really have to guard and cultivate your humility. And nothing contributes to that like a solid failure. So, yeah, now I think, “Oh cool, the next thing I do will be better.”
Question 3: Is there anything in your life that has felt predestined?
Delaney: I don’t feel it’s predestined, but I do feel very lucky that I am doing, for a career, what I wanted to do as a child. I feel very, very lucky. For example, the premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine was at Lincoln Center. To get there, I had to walk by Juilliard, which I auditioned for in 1995. I did my Twelfth Night monologue and I didn’t make it past the first round.
Now I walked by there and waved at the window as I walked into the Deadpool & Wolverine premiere, you know? And so that was an interesting through line. Thank you, Julliard, for not accepting me.
A drone and fireworks display is seen for “Marvel Studios: The Ultimate Deadpool & Wolverine Celebration Of Life” during 2024 Comic-Con in July.
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
hide caption
toggle caption
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Martin: So I’m going to lead us back to this question, because, if you don’t feel like anything is predestined, is that a concept that even resonates with you? The idea of fate, of a pattern of things happening in the way they were supposed to happen.
Delaney: I mean, I’m imagining sort of like a laser, or perhaps a thin, long, but not disgusting tentacle coming out of my forehead and going miles into the future, right? The utility of the tentacle is that it can wrap around something way ahead of you and then reel back in and pull you towards it.
Or perhaps if it’s a laser, it has a tractor beam element, except you’re getting pulled forward. So I do think it is useful to cast your mind and your heart forward towards things, because that works. I don’t know why. But that has real value.
Martin: But it feels more like chance?
Delaney: You know what it’s like? It’s like curling. You can throw the stone, and God knows where it’s gonna go. But you can gently influence it by running after it in your bowling shoes and polishing the ice with your broom in front of it.
Lifestyle
N.F.L. Style Will Never Beat N.B.A. Style
You want to see some real fashion ingenuity? Watch the N.F.L. draft.
I’m not saying it’s all good, but where else are you going to see someone in a double-breasted suit made by a company better known for making yoga pants? Or an Abercrombie & Fitch suit jacket so short that it exposes the belt loops on the pants beneath?
On the whole, the style on display at the N.F.L. draft last night was very overeager senior formal: a lot of suits in colors beyond basic blue. The quarterback Ty Simpson wore a custom suit by the athleisure label Alo, which, I have to say, looked better than I would have envisioned had you said the words “Alo Yoga suit” to me.
I thought it might have been from Suitsupply, but the conspicuous “Alo” pin on his right lapel put that idea to rest. Simpson, smartly, unfastened that beacon before appearing onstage as the 13th pick to the Los Angeles Rams. He had, perhaps, satisfied his contractual obligations by that point.
Earlier in the evening, as the wide receiver Carnell Tate threw up his arms in exaltation after being picked fourth by the Tennessee Titans, his cropped Abercrombie & Fitch jacket revealed a swatch of rib cage. He looked like a mâitre d’ who had just hit the Mega Millions.
During the N.B.A.’s extended fashion awakening, its draft has become a sandbox for luxury brands to cozy up to would-be endorsers. The Frenchman Victor Wembanyama broke a kind of cashmere ceiling when he wore Louis Vuitton to go first overall in the 2023 N.B.A. draft.
The N.F.L. draft has none of that. The brands you see are often not brands at all, but custom tailors that reach the league’s neophytes through a whisper network among players. The draft is also a platform to raise the curtain on longer-term brand deals that better suit these rookies. We may, for instance, never see Simpson in a suit again. Nearly every photo from his time at Alabama shows him in a T-shirt or hoodie. It makes sense for him to sign with Alo.
Football is the most mainstream of American cultural entities. And it’s one that still hasn’t, in spite of the league’s best efforts, taken off overseas. Few players, save some quarterbacks and a tight end who happens to be engaged to a pop star, feel bigger than the game itself. If you’re a new-to-the-league linebacker, you’ll most likely never harness the star power to grab the attention of Armani, but you might have just the right pull for Abercrombie.
The N.F.L. draft is therefore one of the few red carpets where the brands worn by the athletes may also be worn by those watching at home. How many people watching the Oscars will ever own clothes from Louis Vuitton or Chanel? People may comment online about Lady Gaga wearing Matières Fécales to the Grammys, but how many of those fans and viewers could afford to buy clothes from it?
The Japanese designers changing fashion
Yesterday, I published a deep dive into how a newish crop of Japanese designers are soaking up all the attention in men’s fashion right now. This was a piece I was writing in my head long before I sat down and finally started typing. I remember sitting at a fashion show in Paris over a year ago — I believe it was Dior — and being asked by my seatmate if I’d made it over to a showroom in the Marais to check out A.Presse. That Tokyo-based brand is now part of a vanguard of Japanese labels that, on many days, seems to be all anyone in fashion wants to talk about. I spent months talking with designers, store owners and big-time shoppers to make sense of why these brands have kicked up so much buzz and, more than that, what makes their clothes so great. You can read the story here.
Other things worth knowing about:
Lifestyle
How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Tig Notaro
Thirty years ago, comedian and actor Tig Notaro didn’t have a clear direction in life, so she followed some childhood friends who wanted to get into entertainment to Los Angeles. Secretly wanting to do stand-up, Notaro decided to try her luck at various outlets in town, which became the start of her successful career.
“I stayed on my friends’ couch near the Hollywood Improv on Melrose, and a couple months later, got my own studio apartment in the Miracle Mile area,” Notaro says. “I love all the options for everything in L.A. — the entertainment, the restaurants. I like to stay active. So many people love the hiking options in Los Angeles, and I’m one of them.”
In Sunday Funday, L.A. people give us a play-by-play of their ideal Sunday around town. Find ideas and inspiration on where to go, what to eat and how to enjoy life on the weekends.
Notaro appears in Season 3 of Apple TV’s “The Morning Show” and is a series regular on Paramount+’s “Star Trek: Starfleet Academy,” as she was on “Star Trek: Discovery.” She’s also a touring stand-up comic and hosts “Handsome,” a comedy podcast, with Fortune Feimster and Mae Martin. The trio will be taping a live show May 4 at the Wiltern with the cast of Netflix’s “The Hunting Wives.” The live shows include interviews, but also “incorporate some ridiculous things,” she says. For example, upon hearing that some of the hosts always wanted to learn to tap dance, Notaro “hired a tap instructor to come to our live show in Austin and teach us how to tap dance in front of the audience.”
Notaro lives near Hollywood with her wife, actor Stephanie Allynne, their 9-year-old fraternal twin boys, Max and Finn, and three cats, Fluff, Linus and Skip. When she’s not touring, her ideal Sundays include sampling vegan restaurants, wandering through bookstores or museums, and doing something physically active with the family.
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for length and clarity.
6 a.m.: Up with the kids
Because we have active children, we still wake up at 6 a.m. or 6:30 a.m. on Sunday, but there’s not as much of a rush to get going. Stephanie and I will often have coffee and chat in the living room together. I love that part of the day. Stephanie may cook breakfast, but Max and Finn are pretty self-sufficient and can make certain little meals for themselves. Max is really starting to take an interest in cooking, so he’d make breakfast for himself. Our family is vegan, but he eats eggs, so he makes himself an egg sandwich with avocado a lot of times.
9 a.m.: Daily morning walk
After breakfast, we usually have a morning walk around our neighborhood. That’s a daily thing I like to do, regardless of what’s going on. Now that I’m not touring as much, tennis is back on the schedule. So I’d go to Plummer Park in West Hollywood and play for a while, then join the family for lunch.
11:30 a.m.: Hike with a side of chickpea sandwich
I love Trails, a cafe in Griffith Park, where you can eat outdoors. It serves simple food, and has good vegan options. I usually get their chickpea salad sandwich. The food there is great. Afterward, we’d visit Griffith Observatory, where there’s lots to see. There are lots of great trails in the park, so we’d go for an hour hike before leaving.
3 p.m.: Browse the shelves for rock biographies
Bookstores are fun, so we’d head downtown for the Last Bookstore, which is in a historic building with lots of vintage books. I really love all things plant-based, and I’m a very big music fanatic. So I love to look for vegan books, nutrition books, rock biographies and autobiographies. It’s just fun to browse around the stacks.
If we didn’t go to the bookstore, we’d probably go to LACMA. Our sons are huge fans of art and want to go for each new exhibit. They love Hockney, Basquiat and Picasso, to name a few.
4 p.m.: Cuddle with cuties at a cat cafe
We’d then make a quick stop at [Crumbs & Whiskers], a kitten and cat cafe on Melrose for coffee, snacks and to pet the cats. It’s best to make reservations in advance. There’s cats all around the place that need to be adopted. You can visit and pet them, or find a new roommate. I’d love to take some home, but we already have three.
5:30 p.m. Italian or sushi, but make it vegan
We’re an early dinner family. One restaurant we like is Pura Vita in West Hollywood. It’s the greatest vegan Italian food, and for non-vegans, nobody ever knows the difference. It’s the first 100% plant-based Italian restaurant in the United States. They make an incredible kale salad and I love the San Gennaro pizza. It’s got cashew mozzarella, tomato sauce, Italian sausage crumble and more.
Then there’s Planta in Marina del Rey. It’s right on the harbor and you can sit outside and look at the boats coming in and out. They have sushi, salads and other plant-based entrees. They’ve got a really great spicy tuna roll that’s made out of watermelon. They are magicians.
Or there’s Crossroads Kitchen in West Hollywood. They play the best classic rock, and the atmosphere is upscale, fine dining. The appetizers that we always get are called Moroccan Cigars, which are vegan meat substitutes fried in a rolled batter. I really like the grilled lion’s mane steak, their mushroom steak with truffle potatoes, or the scallopini Milanese, that has a chicken or tofu option. I get the chicken with arugula on top. I always love to have a decaf espresso with dessert, which is either a brownie sundae or banana pudding.
7:30 p.m.: Comfort watch or word games
After dinner, the kids often like to watch an episode of “Friends,” a show that all ages enjoy, sports or “The Simpsons.” Or we’d play a game where each of us will add a word to a sentence and create a weird or funny long sentence until one of our sons says period. Then they’ll try and remember the whole sentence and repeat it back.
9:30 p.m.: Bubble bath then bed
The boys usually go to bed at 8:30 p.m. and bedtime for us is 9:30 p.m. Stephanie and I would read or chat. I like to take a bubble bath, if people must know. The best Sundays for me mean finding a good balance of relaxing and being active. I feel very lucky that my family and I can do those things together.
Lifestyle
It Started with a Midnight Swim and a Kiss Under the Stars
When Marian Sherry Lurio and Jonathan Buffington Nguyen met at a mutual friend’s wedding at Higgins Lake, Mich., in July 2022, both felt an immediate chemistry. As the evening progressed, they sat on the shore of the lake in Adirondack chairs under the stars, where they had their first kiss before joining others for a midnight plunge.
The two learned that the following weekend Ms. Lurio planned to attend a wedding in Philadelphia, where Mr. Nguyen lives, and before they had even exchanged numbers, they already had a first date on the books.
“I have a vivid memory of after we first met,” Mr. Nguyen said, “just feeling like I really better not screw this up.”
Before long, they were commuting between Philadelphia and New York City, where Ms. Lurio lives, spending weekends and the odd remote work days in one another’s apartments in Philadelphia and Manhattan. Within the first six months of dating, Mr. Nguyen joined Ms. Lurio’s family for Thanksgiving in Villanova, Pa., and, the following month, she met his family in Beavercreek, Ohio, at a surprise birthday party for Mr. Nguyen’s mother.
Ms. Lurio, 32, who grew up in Merion Station outside Philadelphia, works in investor relations administration at Flexpoint Ford, a private equity firm. She graduated from Dartmouth College with a bachelor’s degree in history and psychology.
Mr. Nguyen, also 32, was born in Knoxville, Tenn., and raised in Beavercreek, Ohio, from the age of 7. He graduated from Haverford College with a bachelor’s degree in political science and is now a director at Doyle Real Estate Advisors in Philadelphia.
Their long-distance relationship continued for the next few years. There were dates in Manhattan, vacations and beach trips to the Jersey Shore. They attended sporting events and discovered their shared appreciation of the 2003 film, “Love Actually.”
One evening, Mr. Nguyen recalled looking around Ms. Lurio’s small New York studio — strewed with clothes and the takeout meal they had ordered — and feeling “so comfortable and safe.” “I knew that this was something different than just sort of a fling,” he said.
It was an open question when they would move in together. In 2024, Ms. Lurio began the process of moving into Mr. Nguyen’s home in Philadelphia — even bringing her cat, Scott — but her plans changed midway when an opportunity arose to expand her role with her current employer.
Mr. Nguyen was on board with her decision. “It almost feels like stolen valor to call it ‘long distance,’ because it’s so easy from Philadelphia to New York,” Mr. Nguyen said. “The joke is, it’s easier to get to Philly from New York than to get to some parts of Brooklyn from Manhattan, right?”
In January 2025, Mr. Nguyen visited Ms. Lurio in New York with more up his sleeve than spending the weekend. Together they had discussed marriage and bespoke rings, but when Mr. Nguyen left Ms. Lurio and an unfinished cheese plate at the bar of the Chelsea Hotel that Friday evening, she had no idea what was coming next.
“I remember texting Jonathan,” Ms. Lurio said, bewildered: “‘You didn’t go toward the bathroom!’” When a Lobby Bar server came and asked her to come outside, Ms. Lurio still didn’t realize what was happening until she was standing in the hallway, where Mr. Nguyen stood recreating a key moment from the film “Love Actually,” in which one character silently professes his love for another in writing by flashing a series of cue cards. There, in the storied Chelsea Hotel hallway still festooned with Christmas decorations, Mr. Nguyen shared his last card that said, “Will you marry me?”
They wed on April 11 in front of 200 guests at the Pump House, a covered space on the banks of Philadelphia’s Schuylkill River. Mr. Nguyen’s sister, the Rev. Elizabeth Nguyen, who is ordained through the Unitarian Universalist Association, officiated.
Although formal attire was suggested, Ms. Lurio said that the ceremony was “pretty casual.” She and Jonathan got ready together, and their families served as their wedding parties.
“I said I wanted a five-minute wedding,” Ms. Lurio recalled, though the ceremony ended up lasting a little longer than that. During the ceremony, Ms. Nguyen read a homily and jokingly added that guests should not ask the bride and groom about their living arrangements, which will remain separate for the foreseeable future.
While watching Ms. Lurio walk down the aisle, flanked by her parents, Mr. Nguyen said he remembered feeling at once grounded in the moment and also a sense of dazed joy: “Like, is this real? I felt very lucky in that moment — and also just excited for the party to start!”
-
Denver, CO4 minutes agoDenver Broncos’ Day 3 pivotal to expanding title window after only 1 draft pick so far
-
Seattle, WA10 minutes ago
Neal selected by Seattle in 3rd round of NFL Draft
-
San Diego, CA16 minutes agoEarly morning beach volleyball sessions face city tickets in South Mission Beach
-
Milwaukee, WI22 minutes agoWave rallies against Sockers to pull within 1 win of MASL championship
-
Atlanta, GA28 minutes ago‘Tears of joy’ in Atlanta after Falcons bring Terrell brothers together in secondary
-
Minneapolis, MN34 minutes agoMinneapolis police audit: Officers feared entering shooter’s home after Moturi attack
-
Indianapolis, IN40 minutes agoRetro Indy: Indianapolis lawyer’s campaign against ‘Bob & Tom’
-
Pittsburg, PA46 minutes agoOff-site parking remains a critical part of Pittsburgh International Airport’s operations