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A new kind of date makes personal to-do lists a reason to get together with friends
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. (AP) — Life tasks like paying bills, canceling subscriptions and answering overdue emails are becoming a reason to socialize for friends, couples, roommates and other people who get together for what’s known as “admin dates.”
The low-pressure gatherings taking place in coffee shops, accommodating bars and private homes are intended to turn tedious and procrastination-inducing adult responsibilities into productive time with a twist. Tackling a personal to-do list alongside others is a double-duty activity that combines the satisfaction of tending to necessary chores with the no less vital work of nurturing relationships.
“You can have both — getting things done and connecting with people,” Thema Bryant, a Pepperdine University psychology professor and past president of the American Psychological Association, said. “At the gym, if I’m taking a group exercise class, I’m less likely to stop in the middle of other people. … In the same way, admin dates can help with accountability, motivation and connection.”
Romantic or business partners looking to get on the same page, and club members or volunteers collaborating on a big project also may find admin dates helpful. Experts generally advise against meeting up in this way with regular work colleagues, especially supervisors, because it might add unnecessary pressure or create self-consciousness that’s counterproductive to confronting in-box gremlins.
Here’s why experts think admin dates have taken off on social media and elsewhere, and some suggestions to keep in mind when organizing one:
Why doing life together feels good
Spending time with friends and classmates at Northern Arizona University is part of the college experience for 21-year-old roommates Alexia Ruvalcaba, Sami Hawkins and Mandi Bluth, but they say their get-togethers often revolve around everyday responsibilities made more enjoyable with iced white mochas sprinkled with cinnamon.
“Being together helps us get things done,” said Ruvalcaba, a junior pursuing a degree in hotel and restaurant management. She says they look for places where other people are working. Usually that’s one of the more than dozen coffee shops in Flagstaff, Arizona.
“There’s not a single person here that doesn’t have a laptop,” Ruvalcaba said from a table inside Foxtail Coffee Co., a Flagstaff franchise of the Florida-based chain. “I don’t know them, I haven’t talked to them, but all the people here are working or studying.”
This article is part of AP’s Be Well coverage, focusing on wellness, fitness, diet and mental health. Read more Be Well.
Dealing with too many uncompleted tasks can feel overwhelming to some people, but whittling away at them in the company of trusted friends or even strangers engrossed in their own screens can clear some of the mental fog and foster a sense of community, said Bryant, the author of a book titled “Matters of the Heart: Healing Your Relationship with Yourself and Those You Love.”
One reason admin dates can help with productivity is because of modeling, a theory from behavioral psychology about learning by observing and imitating others, she said. Seeing other people check off items on their agendas can motivate us to do the same, Bryant said.
“In some ways, the reward is in community. That social support is a big protector of our mental health,” she said. “On the flip side, it can cultivate a sense of joy and connection. So it can be inherently rewarding to be in the company of people that we enjoy, even if we’re not doing a fun activity per se, but that presence in and of itself can be healing.”
What to think about before an admin date
Before taking on tasks as a group, discuss how often and for how long the participants want to meet, what level or kind of social interaction they want to have, and the kind of work they have languishing, experts advise. The latter will influence where an admin date takes place. Some people work best in relative quiet, and some tasks can get noisy or are location-dependent, like grocery shopping or home maintenance.
Creating an emotionally safe and mutually productive environment also will inform who is invited to the event — again, bosses typically are a poor choice — and may require establishing some guidelines. Admin dates “are intended to be helpful to everyone,” but self-motivated participants sometimes end up coaching others instead of focusing on their own to to-dos, Bryant noted.
Attending an admin date also may require some mental preparation for every person involved. Telling yourself you are disorganized or can’t manage to get anything done is a stress response that makes it harder to overcome overwhelm or break out of procrastination mode, said Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, a physician at Harvard Medical School who specializes in mental health.
Nerurkar, who is the author of “The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience,” said that for individuals with harsh inner critics, having a realistic list of tasks to complete during an admin date and the company of a group can turn down the volume on unhelpful thoughts and make the process more manageable.
The goal, she said, is creating mental space to focus and for the list to “empower you instead of overwhelm you.”
Prioritizing tasks also is important since the social aspect of admin dates can become an excuse to procrastinate. Experts also caution against comparing yourself to other admin date attendees, saying the point is to draw motivation from seeing friends work toward similar goals.
“This is not about a competition. This is very much a collaboration,” Nerurkar said.
Don’t forget to have fun
Food and beverages figure into most admin dates at some point, so deciding if they will be shared and if so, how the costs will be managed are other factors to consider. Organizers also should determine how participants feel about the consumption of beer, wine or cocktails during an event mixing personal business and pleasure.
Since admin dates are supposed to be communal, focusing only on tasks that require deep concentration or silence can undercut the social element that makes them appealing in the first place. Even if your to-do list is a mile long, remember to leave room for conversation, life updates and laughs.
To preserve the enjoyment factor, experts encourage admin daters to celebrate themselves and each other. Updated a resume? Put money into savings? Take a break and acknowledge the completion or grab a sweet treat from the coffee shop. Doing so, experts say, increases motivation and confidence.
Bluth says her college friend group used to write each person’s tasks on a whiteboard and congratulate each other whenever something got crossed off.
Sometimes the students get off track having too much fun, but “by the end of the day, what we need to do gets done,” Hawkins said.
Getting home, and turning back the clock, has long been at the root of Christopher Nolan’s films. The astronauts of “Interstellar” painstakingly lose 23 years in space travel, almost the same length of time Odysseus is away from home in “The Odyssey”: a decade fighting the Trojan War, a decade trying to return to Ithaca.
So, to a remarkable degree, Nolan’s “The Odyssey” — faithful as it is to Homer’s epic poem — feels, down to its nonlinear DNA, like a Nolan movie. The authorship of the epic poem, dated to the 7th or 8th century BC, is complex. But no one could question the maker of this “Odyssey,” an earthy, existential epic that ravishingly melds the storytelling of antiquity with contemporary IMAX-sized bravado.
As a story about a man whose cunning offends the gods, “The Odyssey” feels very much like a companion piece, if not a downright sequel, to “Oppenheimer.” Odysseus (Matt Damon, in the role of his life) is increasingly racked with guilt for the violence and death he’s wrought after his ingenuity led to the sacking of Troy.
This image released by Universal Pictures shows Matt Damon, as Odysseus, in a scene from “The Odyssey.” (Melinda Sue Gordon/Universal Pictures via AP)
The arrival of any new Nolan spectacle inevitably leads to its own kind of assault, and avalanches of “masterpiece” proclamations. (I’m notinnocent.) But while “The Odyssey,” Nolan’s first film shot entirely with IMAX cameras, doesn’t skimp on grandiosity, it works surprisingly well as a simpler, human-sized tale.
The journey — you may have heard, it’s about the journey — is sometimes a little clunky, and the sheer Nolan-ness of the production, not to mention the historic nature of the tale, inevitably saps it of some freshness. You could make a credible case that Nolan has already made a movie about a guy trying to reach his family through strata of mind-warping illusion, and it’s called “Inception.” Such is the trouble with urtexts.
But “The Odyssey” is rarely not transfixing, and it’s a ripping adventure story, besides. At the least, it’s the definitive big-screen adaptation of one of literature’s oldest tales — a not-too-shabby accomplishment for a filmmaker of restless ambition.
It’s not until Book 5 that Odysseus enters Homer’s poem, and Nolan, who also wrote the screenplay, likewise begins in Ithaca. There, Odysseus’ home is overrun by feasting suitors in pursuit of his wife, Penelope (Anne Hathaway). Foremost among them is Antinous, who’s played with sleazy perfection by Robert Pattinson. For an actor often (pleasingly) at odds with the movies around him, Pattinson has never slid more seamlessly into a part.
Telemachus (Tom Holland, also well-cast), the youthful son of Penelope and Odysseus, resolves to go in search of his father. Meanwhile, we catch up with Odysseus, weathered and white-bearded, following the fall of Troy. His forced conscription, by Agamemnon, is shown in flashbacks. Agamemnon is depicted with an imposing Darth Vader-like presence and played by Benny Safdie, but the real star is his hulking, mohawked helmet.
This image released by Universal Pictures shows, from left, Anne Hathaway as Penelope, and Tom Holland as Telemachus, in a scene from “The Odyssey.” (Melinda Sue Gordon/Universal Pictures via AP)
Such vivid details abound in Nolan’s richly textured film. The simple rocking of Odysseus’ longship, off the Mediterranean coast, is glorious. Some of Nolan’s and cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema’s most impressive work has come when they’re faced with the elements (as in “Dunkirk” ). And “The Odyssey” is flooded with stormy seas and enchanted isles. If anything, the movie could have gone further; I was promised rosy-fingered dawns.
The first line of Homer’s poem, as translated by Emily Wilson (the version Nolan leaned on), refers to Odysseus as “a complicated man.” James Joyce, whose “Ulysses” was based on “The Odyssey,” once noted that while Hamlet is merely a son, Ulysses, or Odysseus, is a father, a husband, a lover and a warrior. In short, he’s an Everyman, albeit an especially smart one. And Damon, the most amiable of Everymen, proves especially attuned to the multifaceted nature of the archetypal hero.
We meet him first as a soldier, leading a small group of ships away from Agamemnon’s fleet, setting a southerly course with his second-in-command Eurylochus (an excellent Himesh Patel). Their route takes them on a series of episodic quests: a cave encounter with Polyphemus, the Cyclops; a pine forest attack by the man-eating giants, the Laestrygonians; a meal with the witch Circe (Samantha Morton); and Odysseus’ seven-year interlude with the sea nymph Calypso (a beguilingly sincere Charlize Theron).
This image released by Universal Pictures shows a scene from “The Odyssey.” (Melinda Sue Gordon/Universal Pictures via AP)
You could argue that the movie can feel like a series of sketched-together set pieces, but what set pieces! That includes the tale of the Trojan horse, a fleeting mention in the poem but here a centerpiece. You can tell that Nolan, who nearly made “Troy” more than two decades ago, has had the sequence — beginning with the Trojan horse sunk in the sand and leading to the burning of Troy — on his mind for years.
Each stop on Odysseus’ journey gives Nolan a mythic playground to explore imagery that verges on the stuff of horror. I was most intoxicated by “The Odyssey” in its most surreal moments: the sight of a giant hand emerging out of the shadows, the meeting with the “shades” of Odysseus’ dead army, risen from the black soil of Hades.
“A time of apparent magic” is how the movie is introduced. Nolan has wisely opted to keep the gods sidelined. Their powers are real, but with the exception of Zendaya’s Athena, who appears like a confidant to Odysseus, the gods, themselves, remain off-screen.
That choice draws Nolan’s “Odyssey,” and its themes of sacrifice, fidelity and honor, closer to reality. And it makes Nolan’s decision to cast his film widely all the more essential. This is a story, passed down for centuries by singers and storytellers, that belongs to all of humankind. Casting the movie with a wide spectrum of actors, including Lupita Nyong’o as Helen of Troy, is not only fair game for a purely mythic tale but it gives the movie a present-day vitality. Seeing actors like Elliot Page (indelible as a fallen soldier), John Leguizamo (as the loyal servant Eumaeus) and Damon in this ancient context is a very big reason to see “The Odyssey,” and why Homer’s told and retold tale is worth revisiting, at all. If today has no role, what’s the point? They didn’t have cameras in 700 B.C., either.
This image released by Universal Pictures shows a scene from “The Odyssey.” (Melinda Sue Gordon/Universal Pictures via AP)
Nolan’s “Odyssey” is nearly three hours long but never slow going. And it’s the friction between past and present that propels the movie as much as Odysseus’ wayward path. Gender roles are examined even while traditional masculinity is upheld. The ending of the poem, a tricky thing since it features mass murder, is given a more palatable action-movie melee. But the essence of “The Odyssey” is here, and Odysseus’ quest to live down his mistakes and uphold his convictions feels vibrant again. Nolan, you might say, is at home.
“The Odyssey,” a Universal Pictures release in theaters Thursday, is rated R by the Motion Picture Association for violence and some language. Running time: 172 minutes. Three and a half stars out of four.
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American mother Jamey Carney was remembered at her funeral as a devoted parent who had built a happy life in Ireland before her life was violently cut short.
Carney, 43, a New York native who moved to Ireland in 2021 with her teenage daughter, was violently beaten and suffocated in her home in Killarney, County Kerry, last week. A Jordanian failed asylum seeker who was living in Ireland and was romantically involved with Carney was arrested in relation to the case in his home country after fleeing Ireland via Istanbul after her death, according to Irish media.
Mourners gathered at St. Mary’s Cathedral in Killarney to pay their final respects during a service celebrating Carney’s life. The service was livestreamed, allowing friends and family around the world to join in mourning before a private cremation.
AMERICAN MOTHER MURDERED IN IRISH TOURIST TOWN AS INTERNATIONAL MANHUNT TARGETS ALLEGED ASYLUM SEEKER
The remains of Jamey Carney are carried from St Mary’s Cathedral, Killarney by her mother Kathleen (left), sister Devon (blue hair) and relatives in Killarney, Kerry, Ireland, Wednesday, July 15, 2026. The 43 year-old New York native was found dead in her home on July 7. (Michael Mac Sweeney/Provision for Fox News Digital))
“Today we don’t dwell on Jamey’s death, but we dwell on her life,” Fr. Kieran O’Brien told mourners.
During the service, O’Brien reflected on Carney’s life growing up in New York alongside her sister, Devon, before recalling her “big decision” to move to Killarney—a choice he described as “the best decision of her life.”
He said she and her daughter, Michaela, had found a place they proudly called home, with Michaela settling into school and becoming actively involved in Irish sports.
The priest described Carney as a woman whose “joy radiated” from her, saying she had built a close circle of friends after moving to Killarney and found happiness in simple things. He recalled her love of country music, travel, shopping, going to concerts and spending time with friends.
“She was happy in life and she was happy with life because life was good to her,” he said.
“But her real love in life was you, Michaela,” he added, addressing Carney’s daughter.
“We thank God for Jamey’s life, remembering at all times her joy, and the ray of sunshine that she brought to all of your lives,” he added.
Jamey Carney’s sister Devon, is consoled at the funeral for the 43 year-old at St Mary’s Cathedral, Killarney, Kerry, Ireland, Wednesday, July 15, 2026. The New York native was found dead in her home on July 7. (Michael Mac Sweeney/Provision for Fox News Digital)
Family members carried a series of personal items to the altar celebrating Carney’s life, including photographs of her daughter, Michaela, and her dog, Penny. A cowboy hat symbolizing her love of country music, the passports she and Michaela used to start their new life together in Ireland and an angel statue were also brought forward.
A framed photograph of Carney rested atop her coffin, which was positioned before the altar and draped in a white pall.
As Carney’s coffin departed St. Mary’s Cathedral following the funeral mass, young members of Dr. Crokes GAA Club formed a guard of honor outside the church. Carney’s grieving sister, Devon, wearing a Kerry GAA jersey and clutching a sunflower, was distraught as family members gathered around the hearse.
The service centered on celebrating Carney’s life, her family and the community she built in Ireland rather than the disturbing circumstances surrounding her death and subsequent murder investigation.
Detectives believe Carney was killed around 11 p.m. Monday, roughly 14 hours before her 13-year-old daughter discovered her body at about 1:30 p.m. Tuesday. By then, the man had traveled roughly 200 miles by bus to Dublin Airport and boarded a flight to Istanbul, according to the Irish Independent.
Irish police have yet to publicly identify the person they want to question in the investigation or release his name, photograph or any physical description.
Irish police confirmed to Fox News Digital they were aware “of the arrest of a male in Jordan by the Jordanian authorities,” but did not identify the man or confirm he was the person of interest in the investigation. Police also confirmed they “have not made any request to the Jordanian authorities for the arrest of any person at this time.”
WATCH: Person of interest detained in murder of US mom in Ireland
MIGRANT WHO FLED IRELAND AFTER AMERICAN MOTHER’S MURDER IS ARRESTED IN JORDAN
Irish media have widely identified the man as the person of interest in the investigation, though Irish police have not publicly confirmed his identity.
Ireland does not have an extradition treaty with Jordan, where the man is being detained, according to the Irish Independent.
Fox News Digital asked Irish police and Ireland’s Department of Justice to confirm reports that the man had previously been refused asylum while appealing that decision. Neither agency confirmed the reports.
The man had been living in state-run accommodation for asylum seekers in Killarney before spending increasing amounts of time at Carney’s home after they became romantically involved, according to the Irish Mirror.
American citizen Jamey Carney, left, was found dead at her home in Killarney, County Kerry, last week. Irish police have launched a murder investigation into her death. (Jamey Carney/Facebook | iStock)
He first arrived in the United Kingdom before traveling through Northern Ireland and eventually settling in County Kerry, according to the Irish Mirror.
His social media accounts contain posts from the United Kingdom and Turkey in recent years.
Meanwhile, the FBI told Fox News Digital it stands ready to assist Irish authorities if requested.
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“Through our Legal Attaché in London, we have strong, established relationships and stand ready to assist in any way that the Irish government may request,” the FBI said in a statement.
The State Department told Fox News Digital it is providing consular assistance to the family.
Published on
Russia is planning attacks on critical infrastructure in the Baltic states or Poland, Lithuanian and Latvian presidents warned on Wednesday, citing intelligence reports.
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“We are talking about energy and transport infrastructur, facilities where damage could… disrupt the functioning of the entire energy system,” Lithuanian President Gitanas Nauseda said at a joint press conference in Vilnius with his Latvian counterpart, Edgars Rinkevics.
“This planning is taking place at the highest level, effectively in Moscow,” he added.
Rinkevics warned that Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania and Poland, all EU and NATO members, must be prepared for provocative actions by Russia as it seeks to “test” the alliance’s mutual defence pact amid its war in Ukraine.
“Even without a total Ukrainian victory, Russia may indirectly test Article 5 and response mechanisms at the alliance and European Union levels,” he said.
In late June, Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk told a press conference “various types of escalation can be expected in the coming weeks and months”, calling the situation “very unstable”.
Baltic and Polish officials have already linked Russia to several incidents including arson, cyberattacks and diversions on railway lines.
The Lithuanian president said his country had strengthened protection of its transport and energy infrastructure in response to the threats.
Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov disputed the claims.
“This is just another fresh batch of scare stories designed to keep the brainwashing going and prepare the population for further militarisation,” he said.
Located along the Baltic Sea and bordering Russia and its close ally, Belarus, Lithuania has been a key ally to Ukraine since the beginning of the full-scale invasion in 2022.
Lithuania is NATO’s highest security spender in relative terms, allocating 5.33%of its GDP to defence.
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