Lifestyle
NBA Stars Like Jalen Brunson Enlist Social Media Surrogates to Expand Reach in China

Jalen Brunson first experienced the fervor of the N.B.A.’s biggest international market in 2018 when, as a rookie, he traveled with the Dallas Mavericks to China for a pair of preseason games. The trip itself was brief, but the reception that Mr. Brunson and his teammates received left a lasting impression.
“The fandom that basketball brought to that country, I thought it was really cool and interesting and something I wanted to be a part of,” Mr. Brunson said in a recent interview.
Now a star for the New York Knicks, Mr. Brunson, 28, took a crucial step toward that goal before the current N.B.A. season when his representatives at Creative Arts Agency enlisted a digital management company, East Goes Global, to create and run Chinese social media accounts for him. In the months since, Mr. Brunson has gained more than 400,000 followers across five of the country’s major apps: Bilibili, Douyin, RedNote, Weibo and WeChat.
Mr. Brunson is one of several N.B.A. players looking to establish an online presence in China, where millions of people follow the league closely. But given the language barrier and differing societal norms and trends — not to mention an insular Chinese internet where popular western platforms such as YouTube, Instagram and X are blocked and content is reviewed by the government — most have sought help from companies with specific expertise in navigating the digital landscape.
“I think it’s important to understand your audience, and I think a lot of smart people understand what they know and what they don’t know,” Mr. Brunson said. “It was key for me to let someone else do it, because they understand more than me. Even though I am the face of it, they really run it.”
Founded in 2018 by Andrew Spalter, a former music manager who lives in Austin, Texas, East Goes Global is not alone in providing such a service. Coral Lu, a former ESPN reporter, handles the Chinese social media accounts for Kawhi Leonard of the Los Angeles Clippers and Paul George of the Philadelphia 76ers. The IMG-owned company Mailman, based in Shanghai, manages 30 accounts for 14 active players.
“For the player, some people are really motivated by engaging with their global audience, and in cultures where basketball is huge,” said Matthew Spalter, the chief operating officer of East Goes Global, who is Andrew’s brother. “There’s also the business perspective: ‘During my basketball career, how can I scale my business? And, post-career, how can I make sure I’m not gone forever?’”
The player-led push is coming at an important time for relations between the N.B.A. and China. In October 2019, a year after Mr. Brunson’s trip, a pro-Hong Kong social media post from Daryl Morey, then the general manager of the Houston Rockets, led to China pulling N.B.A. games off national television and ending the N.B.A. China Games, which had been played annually since 2012.
The freeze from Mr. Morey’s post, however, has significantly thawed, and the league is planning to play two exhibition games next October in the Chinese territory of Macau. With help from groups like East Goes Global, some players will be ahead of others should the relationship between the league and China return to its previous heights.
The work of the groups typically begins by reaching out to the various platforms to verify the player’s accounts — and often, as with Mr. Brunson, creating them in the first place. But further measures can be required, as when the team at Mailman helped an N.B.A. All-Star client recover his page on Douyin, China’s equivalent of TikTok, after it had been taken over by a mysterious third party that was posting spam content.
Next comes the process of creating content for a Chinese audience. Success, according to the people involved, goes beyond simply using the native language in captions and adding trending background music.
“Mirroring the same content on your Chinese channels as your western ones really isn’t diving deeper into that Chinese culture,” said Michael Lin, a vice president of digital at Mailman who oversees its U.S. sports operation. “Athletes do a lot better when they’re creating personalized content that’s speaking to the Chinese fans.”
For Mr. Brunson, this has meant meeting periodically with East Goes Global staff members to film exclusive videos for his Chinese accounts, including a marathon two-hour session heading into last month’s Chinese New Year during which he sampled Chinese snacks and wrote his name in Chinese characters.
“I thought that was really cool,” he said.
There are numerous business possibilities for N.B.A. players in China. Some have gone on huge tours across the country. Others have signed endorsement deals with Chinese shoe companies. James Harden, a star for the Clippers, sold 10,000 bottles of wine in five seconds during a Douyin livestream.
But Mr. Lin has noticed a particular uptick in requests from players who cite another source of motivation: getting fan votes for the All-Star Game.
The ideal playbook, in that regard, was laid out last season, when Tyrese Haliburton of the Indiana Pacers rode a wave of Chinese social media support to lead Eastern Conference guards in fan voting, earning a surprising spot as a starter for the 2024 All-Star Game.
“I know people see a player in Indiana and don’t expect that,” Mr. Haliburton said at the media day for that game, “but the love I’ve received from my fans in China has been amazing.”
According to Matthew Spalter, Mr. Brunson’s team at C.A.A. similarly approached East Goes Global about executing a “massive All-Star push” for this year’s game. The results? Even though Mr. Brunson finished third among Eastern Conference guards on fan ballots, he was named a starter under the league’s weighted voting formula, which also incorporated votes from the news media and the players.
“I think it helped a lot, and I’m really appreciative of it,” Mr. Brunson said in February of the help from Chinese fans, adding that he planned to post a message of gratitude after the All-Star break.
Sure enough, a week or so later, a 44-second video was uploaded to Mr. Brunson’s account on Bilibili, China’s equivalent of YouTube. The video features behind-the-scenes footage from his trip to the game in San Francisco.
“Thanks to my friends at Bilibili for voting and supporting me,” the caption read — in Chinese characters, of course.

Lifestyle
‘Gentle Parenting’ Is Spoiling My Granddaughter. What Should I Do?

Kids need empathy alongside parental limits, and what you’re responding to with your stepdaughter is that this balance seems out of whack. By your account, your stepdaughter doesn’t allow for her daughter’s discomfort, which she needs to experience to develop resilience and a sense of competence in the world. Maybe this is because of the way that your stepdaughter was parented, and she’s either trying to emulate or move away from that.
Sometimes, too, single parents fear being the “bad guy” when they are navigating divorce or compensating for the pain from a divorce by “protecting” the child with extra tenderness. Or maybe your stepdaughter feels that adopting her own parenting style is one of the few ways she can maintain a sense of control while dealing with an uncooperative ex.
In families that have more adults in the house, kids benefit from seeing different ways of handling situations, and while you don’t live with your granddaughter, you are one of those adults in her life. You can adopt an aquarium approach, allowing her to express her emotions without your contempt (she’s not a “brat,” she’s struggling with emotional regulation) while also setting clear expectations and offering brief explanations for your decisions. (You can’t eat the cookies now because we’re about to have dinner, but you can have them after.) If your granddaughter pouts in response, you don’t need to react — you could redirect her by inviting her to play a game with you instead, and still be warm but nonreactive if she rejects this and continues pouting.
The more comfortable your granddaughter feels being with you, the more time you might get with her without her mother present. (As a single mom, your stepdaughter might enjoy the downtime!) You may be surprised by how a child can adapt to different expectations in different environments when those expectations are delivered with warmth and consistency.
You can also work on strengthening your relationship with your stepdaughter by not bringing up your differences. When she feels seen and valued by you, she may even become interested in the kind of parenting you’re modeling instead of what she likely perceives now as intrusive criticism. But even if she doesn’t adjust her tendency to over explain, her daughter’s witnessing of a friendly and noncombative relationship between you two will likely make this girl more inclined to trust you and be more receptive to your approach. And when you feel that surge of frustration from watching your stepdaughter parent, pause to ask yourself what beliefs or experiences might be informing your response. This self-awareness can help you engage more constructively with both your stepdaughter and granddaughter.
In the end, you can’t control how your stepdaughter raises her daughter, but you can control how you show up in the family dynamic. You might need to adjust your expectations and recognize that your influence will be greatest if you can position yourself as an ally, rather than as a critic.
Want to Ask the Therapist? If you have a question, email askthetherapist@nytimes.com. By submitting a query, you agree to our reader submission terms. This column is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
Lifestyle
Tom Cruise & Ana de Armas Fuel Dating Rumors, Another Outing in England

Tom Cruise & Ana de Armas
Keep Dating Rumors Swirling …
Laughing in London!!!
Published
Tom Cruise and Ana de Armas aren’t doing anything to nix the rumors they’re dating … ’cause they were spotted hanging out in London again, further fueling the speculation.
The two stars were photographed in England’s capital Friday night … dressed causally in jeans and sneakers after hopping out of a helicopter at London Heliport.
While they weren’t chatting on their walk, they both had huge smiles on their faces, clearly enjoying their time together.
No PDA here either … but, given the recent rumors about the two of them, this pic will certainly keep fans speculating.
ICYMI … Ana and Tom were spotted at the same heliport the night before these photos were shot — a month after they grabbed dinner together around Valentine’s Day.
The two picked up food from a restaurant — de Armas had two takeout bags in hand — said hello to some fans then hopped in the same taxi and took off together.
Of course, fans online immediately assumed this means they’re dating … though their relationship could be nothing more than friends and future collaborators. After all, they’re both huge movie stars in the action film world.
We’ve reached out to Ana and Tom’s teams … so far, no word back.
Lifestyle
A Love Worth an Early Retirement and a Cross-Country Move

Dr. Raymond Joseph Parungao and Andrew Chih-Hao Chen were attracted to each other the instant their eyes locked.
It was Feb. 28, 2010, and they were at the gay bar the Abbey in West Hollywood, Calif.
“The music was loud, but it faded away as I stared at Andrew,” Dr. Parungao said.
“I saw Ray, and time just stopped,” Mr. Chen said. “I was like, ‘Who is this?’ I had to find out more.”
The two, who were there with mutual friends, got drinks, headed to a quiet corner and started talking. They parted ways around midnight and made plans for a date three days later, again at the Abbey.
Dr. Parungao, 55, was the first to arrive. “My heart was beating fast as I waited for Andrew,” he said. “I hadn’t stopped thinking about him since we met.”
That evening made it clear that their mutual desire was intense and authentic. They chatted for hours about their families, upbringings and shared love of travel. “We talked about everything and nothing and could have chatted for days,” said Mr. Chen, 37. “By the end of the night, we were talking about vacationing together and even starting a family.”
The following month, they exchanged rings as a symbol of their commitment, and eight months after meeting, Mr. Chen moved into Dr. Parungao’s West Hollywood condominium.
At the time, Mr. Chen was working as a branch manager for a bank in Los Angeles, but had dreams of being a hairstylist. In September 2013 he did some work at New York Fashion Week, “and after that experience, what New York offered me professionally was calling me,” Mr. Chen said. “I decided to move.”
Dr. Parungao was working as a pediatric intensive care doctor at Kaiser Permanente in Los Angeles and his contract made relocating a challenge. The two split amicably, and in October 2013, Mr. Chen left for Manhattan. “I wanted Andrew to be free to follow his passion and didn’t want him to feel the burden of a long-distance relationship,” Dr. Parungao said.
They remained close and continued to chat daily. In June 2016, they rekindled their romance when Dr. Parungao visited Mr. Chen and the two attended the Pride parade. “We were dancing to Kylie Minogue who was performing ‘All the Lovers’ at the concert on the pier, and all I could do was stare at Ray,” Mr. Chen said. “We kissed and knew that there was no being apart.”
They decided to try bicoastal dating, with each taking turns flying to see the other two to three weekends a month. Marriage was in the cards. “We had talked about it early on in our relationship but never discussed how or when,” Dr. Parungao said.
They became engaged in September 2016 while on a trip to Iceland with Mr. Chen’s mother, Patty Chen, to celebrate her 60th birthday.
The trio took an evening bus tour through the countryside near Reykjavik to see the northern lights. When they stopped alongside a field, Dr. Parungao asked Mr. Chen, with Ms. Chen looking on, if he would marry him. “We did a three-way hug and cried underneath the lights,” Mr. Chen said.
[Click here to binge read this week’s featured couples.]
Dr. Parungao, who grew up in Conyers, Ga., has a bachelor’s degree in the history of science from Johns Hopkins University and a master’s degree in public health from George Washington University. He holds a medical degree from Howard University.
Mr. Chen is from Diamond Bar, Calif., and works as a freelance hairstylist at the Stephen Knoll salon in New York. He has a bachelor’s degree in business management from Pepperdine University and studied hairdressing at Santa Monica College. He is now in his final year in a graduate program in environmental science at The New School.
After their engagement, they continued their bicoastal lives, except during Covid, when Mr. Chen was without a job and moved to Los Angeles for two years.
But by 2024, after they returned to their bicoastal relationship, living apart was wearing on both. “I took Kaiser’s early retirement package and moved to New York in February to be with Andrew full time,” Dr. Parungao said.
They now reside in Long Island City, Queens, and are in the process of having a child through a surrogate. “It’s such a sense of relief,” Mr. Chen said. “We can go on spontaneous walks together or grab lunch without everything being preplanned.”
On Feb. 28, 15 years after first meeting, Mr. Chen and Dr. Parungao were married by Yanfang Chen, an officiant at the Manhattan City Clerk’s office, with their parents as witnesses.
After the ceremony, they did a photo shoot at City Hall Park and took a Zumba dance class. That evening, the couple celebrated with 70 family members and friends at the Chinese restaurant Shan in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn.
“We danced, we cried, we cheered, we toasted,” Mr. Chen said.
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