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L.A. Affairs: We were ready for marriage. Then his ex had his baby. Who would he choose?

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L.A. Affairs: We were ready for marriage. Then his ex had his baby. Who would he choose?

The thought of the approaching holidays and having to attend the firm’s end-of-year party without a plus-one made me gasp. That’s why I turned my attention to my dating app. Thankfully a blue-highlighted super like from a tall, dark and handsome fellow woke me up more than my latte did.

He was 80 miles from L.A. Could that even work? As I inspected his shirtless photographs and travel stories on my phone, a message popped up in my inbox. A quick “How are you doing today?” from him progressed into all-day back-and-forth messaging that led to a “Text me on my cell instead.”

From good morning texts to exchanging a plethora of pictures for several days — finally! — the “Let’s meet and greet” offer arrived. He did all the right things: He picked me up from my house, opened the car door, walked on the outside on the sidewalk and held my hand. He knew what was expected of a gentleman, and that gave me hope.

What felt like an hourlong chat ended up being a 6½-hour extended date that took us well into closing time at Angel City Brewery.

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He paid the tab, held my hand to get up from the barstool and put his hand out to allow me to walk in front of him. Was he checking out the goods? I felt a warmth on my waist as he put his arm around me and walked beside me toward the car. The ride home was too short, and as I suspected, he walked me to my front door.

He smiled at me, pulled my hair behind my ear and reached for a soft kiss on the lips. That sweet and perfect kiss made my heart rise and my stomach fuzzy. I told him to be safe on the long way back to Camp Pendleton and I waved goodbye. Before I could reach my bedroom door, I heard the chime on my phone. It was him: “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I cannot wait to see you again.”

It was music to my ears.

After years of searching, could it be possible that I had finally found my soulmate?

After six months of dating with our weekend getaways and surprise flowers sent to the firm, I felt like I was on top of the world.

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There was never an awkward moment of silence, and we shared every dream, fear and personal thought. I met all his friends, even those close to his heart, from his first unit in Iraq. He met my son and daughter, and from that point forward, my daughter became his daughter. He taught her how to swim, how to play the guitar and how to karaoke. Good morning texts also included “Say hello to baby girl.” Music to my ears.

I will never forget our evening at Del Mar beach; our usual sunset run on the sand was epic. He stopped me and said, “You are the baddest single mom and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you as I have never loved anyone. And I am going to marry you one day, as long as you say yes.”

He wasn’t the get-on-one-knee guy, but I did not care. He was everything I’d ever dreamed of: my best friend, lover, fighter, giver. He was responsible, hard-working, funny and kind. I did not need anyone else. To me, he was the most attractive man in the world. We discussed where we would live after he retired from the military, our travel plans and the kind of home we would purchase together. Nothing was going to come between us.

For our six-month anniversary , I planned a romantic getaway by the beach. Bags were packed, and wine and a charcuterie board set the mood.

I was three glasses in, and he had barely sipped from his. He was reticent and serious, which was not like him. I wanted to improve his mood, so I asked him to dance. As we danced around the hotel suite, I stopped in the middle of the song and directed him toward the wet bar, which I had covered with the tickets to Hawaii for the following summer.

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His face went from serious to concerned as he began pacing around the room. His fists were closed. I did not know what was happening.

He grabbed my hand and directed me toward the foot of the bed. There was a long pause, and I could feel my heart rising. He began, “I did not know how I would tell you tonight, but here it goes. You deserve the truth. My ex-girlfriend dropped the bomb that she thinks her newborn baby is mine. I took a DNA test, and he is mine.

“I need to do the right thing and marry her,” he said. “I owe a duty to my country as an honorable man. It’s what the Marine Corps has taught me, and I also owe a duty to this little man who needs a full-time father, not a seasonal military father. I must do the right thing.”

I felt as if the blood rushed from my stomach to my face. Once again, I felt as if I was floating in thin air. I could not see anything but the tears in his eyes and I felt his palms sweat over the back of my hand.

At some point, I was able to make out images from the elaborate wallpaper of the hotel room. My stomach was filled with pain, my chest felt heavy, and my eyes did not blink until the warm tears filled my neck. His last words to me were: “I will let you stay in the room and give you some space. That is the least I can do.” As he shut the door behind him, I felt like my soul escaped my body. I didn’t see him again.

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The author is a paralegal in Los Angeles and works on everything from briefs to love essays. She is on Instagram: @karen_kss05

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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Mundane, magic, maybe both — a new book explores ‘The Writer’s Room’

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Mundane, magic, maybe both — a new book explores ‘The Writer’s Room’

There’s a three-story house in Baltimore that looks a bit imposing. You walk up the stone steps before even getting up to the porch, and then you enter the door and you’re greeted with a glass case of literary awards. It’s The Clifton House, formerly home of Lucille Clifton.

The National Book Award-winning poet lived there with her husband, Fred, starting in 1967 until the bank foreclosed on the house in 1980. Clifton’s daughter, Sidney Clifton, has since revived the house and turned it into a cultural hub, hosting artists, readings, workshops and more. But even during a February visit, in the mid-afternoon with no organized events on, the house feels full.

The corner of Lucille Clifton's bedroom, where she would wake up and write in the mornings

The corner of Lucille Clifton’s bedroom, where she would wake up and write in the mornings

Andrew Limbong/NPR


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Andrew Limbong/NPR

“There’s a presence here,” Clifton House Executive Director Joël Díaz told me. “There’s a presence here that sits at attention.”

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Sometimes, rooms where famous writers worked can be places of ineffable magic. Other times, they can just be rooms.

The Writer’s Room: The Hidden Worlds That Shape the Books We Love

Princeton University Press

Katie da Cunha Lewin is the author of the new book, The Writer’s Room: The Hidden Worlds That Shape the Books We Love, which explores the appeal of these rooms. Lewin is a big Virginia Woolf fan, and the very first place Lewin visited working on the book was Monk’s House — Woolf’s summer home in Sussex, England. On the way there, there were dreams of seeing Woolf’s desk, of retracing Woolf’s steps and imagining what her creative process would feel like. It turned out to be a bit of a disappointment for Lewin — everything interesting was behind glass, she said. Still, in the book Lewin writes about how she took a picture of the room and saved it on her phone, going back to check it and re-check it, “in the hope it would allow me some of its magic.”

Let’s be real, writing is a little boring. Unlike a band on fire in the recording studio, or a painter possessed in their studio, the visual image of a writer sitting at a desk click-clacking away at a keyboard or scribbling on a piece of paper isn’t particularly exciting. And yet, the myth of the writer’s room continues to enrapture us. You can head to Massachusetts to see where Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women. Or go down to Florida to visit the home of Zora Neale Hurston. Or book a stay at the Scott & Zelda Fitzgerald Museum in Alabama, where the famous couple lived for a time. But what, exactly, is the draw?

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Lewin said in an interview that whenever she was at a book event or an author reading, an audience question about the writer’s writing space came up. And yes, some of this is basic fan-driven curiosity. But also “it started to occur to me that it was a central mystery about writing, as if writing is a magic thing that just happens rather than actually labor,” she said.

In a lot of ways, the book is a debunking of the myths we’re presented about writers in their rooms. She writes about the types of writers who couldn’t lock themselves in an office for hours on end, and instead had to find moments in-between to work on their art. She covers the writers who make a big show of their rooms, as a way to seem more writerly. She writes about writers who have had their homes and rooms preserved, versus the ones whose rooms have been lost to time and new real estate developments. The central argument of the book is that there is no magic formula to writing — that there is no daily to-do list to follow, no just-right office chair to buy in order to become a writer. You just have to write.

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Bruce Johnston Retiring From The Beach Boys After 61 Years

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Bruce Johnston Retiring From The Beach Boys After 61 Years

Bruce Johnston
I’m Riding My Last Wave With The Beach Boys

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On the brink of death, a woman is saved by a stranger and his family

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On the brink of death, a woman is saved by a stranger and his family

In 1982, Jean Muenchrath was injured in a mountaineering accident and on the brink of death when a stranger and his family went out of their way to save her life.

Jean Muenchrath


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Jean Muenchrath

In early May 1982, Jean Muenchrath and her boyfriend set out on a mountaineering trip in the Sierra Nevada, a mountain range in California. They had done many backcountry trips in the area before, so the terrain was somewhat familiar to both of them. But after they reached one of the summits, a violent storm swept in. It began to snow heavily, and soon the pair was engulfed in a blizzard, with thunder and lightning reverberating around them.

“Getting struck and killed by lightning was a real possibility since we were the highest thing around for miles and lightning was striking all around us,” Muenchrath said.

To reach safer ground, they decided to abandon their plan of taking a trail back. Instead, using their ice axes, they climbed down the face of the mountain through steep and icy snow chutes.

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They were both skilled at this type of descent, but at one particularly difficult part of the route, Muenchrath slipped and tumbled over 100 feet down the rocky mountain face. She barely survived the fall and suffered life-threatening injuries.

This was before cellular or satellite phones, so calling for help wasn’t an option. The couple was forced to hike through deep snow back to the trailhead. Once they arrived, Muenchrath collapsed in the parking lot. It had been five days since she’d fallen.

 ”My clothes were bloody. I had multiple fractures in my spine and pelvis, a head injury and gangrene from a deep wound,” Muenchrath said.

Not long after they reached the trailhead parking lot, a car pulled in. A man was driving, with his wife in the passenger seat and their baby in the back. As soon as the man saw Muenchrath’s condition, he ran over to help.

 ”He gently stroked my head, and he held my face [and] reassured me by saying something like, ‘You’re going to be OK now. I’ll be right back to get you,’” Muenchrath remembered.

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For the first time in days, her panic began to lift.

“My unsung hero gave me hope that I’d reach a hospital and I’d survive. He took away my fears.”

Within a few minutes, the man had unpacked his car. His wife agreed to stay back in the parking lot with their baby in order to make room for Muenchrath, her boyfriend and their backpacks.

The man drove them to a nearby town so that the couple could get medical treatment.

“I remember looking into the eyes of my unsung hero as he carried me into the emergency room in Lone Pine, California. I was so weak, I couldn’t find the words to express the gratitude I felt in my heart.”

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The gratitude she felt that day only grew. Now, nearly 45 years later, she still thinks about the man and his family.

 ”He gave me the gift of allowing me to live my life and my dreams,” Muenchrath said.

At some point along the way, the man gave Muenchrath his contact information. But in the chaos of the day, she lost it and has never been able to find him.

 ”If I knew where my unsung hero was today, I would fly across the country to meet him again. I’d hug him, buy him a meal and tell him how much he continues to mean to me by saving my life. Wherever you are, I say thank you from the depths of my being.”

My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.

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