Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: I was a suburban lacrosse mom. I was ready to detonate my life and have a Hollywood affair
With the wind whipping my hair in every direction, I blasted out of Los Angeles International Airport. On my way northward and speeding in my white Mustang convertible, I careened wildly through the city and then the canyons. My heart pounded; my thoughts raced. I could only think about Nick’s eyes, his lips, what he would smell like.
Other drivers glanced at my sleek rental car, their envy fueling my confidence. I had never had an affair before, and these fantasy wheels seemed like the perfect grace note for my Hollywood love story. Sunglasses on, I was on a mission to put a body to the voice.
Falling for this handsome, very recent widower was beyond reckless. I was a suburban lacrosse mom and I was jeopardizing my 20-year marriage, two children, two hypoallergenic dogs, meticulously designed houses, swimming pools, gardeners and gutters. My ticket out of suburbia came at a steep price, but I was on autopilot, spellbound and fueled by lust.
I didn’t know a lot about Nick, but what I knew ignited me. The fact that he was from L.A. didn’t hurt. Had he hailed from Chicago, I never would have responded to his initial tweet. Nick went to Princeton and graduated with all of the Ivy League haughtiness, if not the GPA or success, associated with such a diploma. A simple IMDb search would have highlighted a failed career and the worst New York Times movie review I had ever read. I regularly did more research on what type of mascara to buy than I did any online probing about this man for whom I was about to detonate my life.
My L.A. affair started in the bedroom of my Long Island house. I was one of a handful of patient zeros, the first cohort of Americans to test positive for the novel coronavirus in March 2020. I was well enough to recover at home and quickly became the only good news story in America. I invited the world to join me in my convalescence while news stations around the world carried footage of my self-documented isolation. Holed up, I started an organization in my bedroom, Survivor Corps. My goal was to inspire people previously infected with COVID-19 to donate plasma so their antibodies could be transferred to less fortunate patients fighting for their lives. My husband at the time was not patient with my new hobby of saving lives.
“A CNN Heroes profile by Sanjay Gupta is nice. Know what would also be nice? Cooking dinner for your kids,” he said to me in a sneer masquerading as a smile.
Nick’s first wife was one of my quarter million members (no, I didn’t know her). Suffering from a debilitating case of long COVID, she took her own life. Nick, grief-stricken, took to the airwaves to tell the world about the insidious long tail of COVID while anchors cried and women swooned. Within weeks, Nick and I were texting and talking for hours, and I booked a flight to California.
Having been married over 20 years, my dating skills were thin, the red flags inoperative. I had never heard the term “love bombing”; I was too busy experiencing it. As I drove, my mind swirled while my foot got heavier on the gas pedal. I looked down at the speedometer: 79 mph. I pushed the pedal to 85. Finally, I pulled into the Ventura motel where we had arranged to meet. Nick finally arrived in a decidedly unsexy Suburban and swaggered toward me; I lost my breath and teetered against the hot metal of my car.
“Hey, I’m Nick,” he said with a drawl as if he were John Wayne or an airline pilot. Maybe both.
He was shorter than the movie star I had imagined, but I was from the East Coast and was not yet in on the Hollywood secret that most movie stars are, in real life, shorter than everyone’s imagination. He was closer to my eye level but just as good-looking. He came straight for me and took me in his arms. We inhaled each other deeply. Nick smelled like Southern California, as promised. His aroma was earthy, sun-kissed, balanced with tennis and golf.
A year and a half after meeting, Nick and I exchanged vows in Marina del Rey, and I adopted his unpronounceable last name. The Nick I married, the one I fell for, vanished almost overnight. After Week 2, nothing I did was right, and his once-gentle nature fractured into an uncontrollable and constant rage. He constantly accused me of trying to control him. He also accused me of stealing keys to a car I didn’t drive and drafting words written in his handwriting.
“I told you I was feral,” he said, seething.
“No, you definitely did not,” I said, heaving while cowering from my Ivy League prince.
He made it crystal clear that apologies were not in his repertoire; my tears only fueled his emotional withdrawal.
I kept faith by remembering our perfect first year together until Nick, almost three years later, let me in on the joke. He had been cheating on me since our first days together, using his dead wife’s cellphone as his burner. He was splitting his time pretending to grieve her, being secretly committed to me and dating anyone who worked it in a dress and heels. He went on dates with 10 different women within the first year.
Nick was living a double — make that triple — life.
Failing with the higher caliber dating apps, he met and had an affair with a South American woman he met via Tinder. He had sex with her in our bed — without a condom because he “trusted her” — in the middle of the afternoon. He manipulated this woman, telling her that he loved her, while they fantasized together about a shared future. She wanted to move to Los Angeles to live with him — ostensibly to live her own California dream, that of snagging a green card.
Our vows that we wrote and rewrote obsessively were meaningless. We had boastfully told our story to People magazine for its Real-Life Love series; his quotes were nothing but wildly creative fiction. Nick was as good a liar as an actor, and he was much better at both of those skills than he was at screenwriting.
My Hollywood ending was far from glamorous: me, catatonic on Nick’s couch, realizing I had given it all up for an honest-to-God psychopath. Within months of our wedding, I would end up in solitary confinement, based on Nick’s charges of domestic abuse, in the most frightening lockup in downtown L.A., while he hung up on my jailhouse pleas for help. A year after that, I would end up in inpatient trauma therapy while Nick apparently told people that I was a drug addict and mentally unstable. All the while, I kept wondering how far I needed to sacrifice myself, my pride and my dignity to prove loyalty to the same vows that, for him, were nothing more than script practice.
I should have listened to my mother: “Don’t get fooled by Los Angeles; nothing there is ever what it seems.”
The author is the founder of Survivor Corps. She splits her time between Los Angeles and Washington, D.C., and is co-authoring a memoir with her husband Nick Güthe. She is on X (formerly Twitter): @dianaberrent
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
Lifestyle
No matter what happens at the Oscars, Delroy Lindo embraces ‘the joy of this moment’
Delroy Lindo is nominated for an Oscar for best supporting actor for his role in Sinners.
Rebecca Cabage/Invision/AP
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Rebecca Cabage/Invision/AP
Over the course of his decades-long career on stage and in Hollywood, Sinners actor Delroy Lindo has experienced firsthand what he calls the “disappointments, the vicissitudes of the industry.”
On Feb. 22, at the BAFTA awards in London, Lindo and Sinners co-star Michael B. Jordan were the first presenters of the evening when a man with Tourette syndrome shouted a racial slur.
Initially, Lindo says, he questioned if he had heard correctly. Then, he says, he adjusted his glasses and read the teleprompter: “I processed in the way that I process, in a nanosecond. Mike did similarly, and we went on and did our jobs.”
Lindo describes the BAFTA incident as “something that started out negatively becoming a positive.” A week after the BAFTAs, he appeared with Sinners director Ryan Coogler at the NAACP awards.

“The fact that I could stand there in a room predominantly of our people … and feel safe, feel loved, feel supported,” he says. “I just wanted to officially, formally say thank you to our people and to all of the people who have supported us as a result of that event, that incident.”
Sinners is a haunting vampire thriller about twins (both played by Jordan) who open a juke joint in 1930s Mississippi. The film has been nominated for a record 16 Academy Awards, including best actor for Jordan and best supporting actor for Lindo, who plays a blues musician named Delta Slim.

This is Lindo’s first Oscar nomination; five years ago, many felt his performance in the Spike Lee film Da 5 Bloods deserved recognition from the Academy. When that didn’t happen, Lindo admits he was disappointed, but he had no choice but to move on.
“I have never taken my marbles and gone home,” he says. “And I want to claim that I will not do that now. I will continue working.”
Interview highlights
On his preparation to play Delta Slim

Various people have mentioned … [that] my presence reminds them of an uncle or their grandfather, somebody that they knew from their families, and that is a huge compliment, but more importantly than being a compliment, it’s an affirmation for the work. My preparation for this started with Ryan sending me two books, Blues People, by Amiri Baraka — who was [known as] LeRoi Jones when he wrote the book — and Deep Blues, by Robert Palmer.
Lindo, shown above in his role as Delta Slim, says director Ryan Coogler “created a sacred space for all of us” on the Sinners set.
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Warner Bros. Pictures
In reading those books and then referencing those books, continuing to reference those throughout production, I was given an entrée into the worlds, the lifestyles of these musicians. There’s a certain kind of itinerant quality that they moved around a lot. The constant for them is their music, so that there is this deep-seated connection to the music.
On being Oscar-nominated for the first time — and thinking about other Black actors, including Halle Berry and Lou Gossett Jr., who had trouble getting work after their wins
I will not view it as a curse, because I am claiming the victory in this process, no matter what happens. … In terms of this moment, I absolutely am claiming, as much as I can, the joy of this moment. I’m not saying I don’t have trepidation, I do. It’s the reason I was not listening to the broadcast this year when the nominations were announced. I did not want to set myself up. But I’m … attempting as much as I can to fortify myself and know in my heart that I will continue working as an actor. I absolutely will.
On being “othered” as a child because of his race
Because my mom was studying to be a nurse they would not allow her to have an infant child with her on campus, so as a result of that, I was sent to live with a white family in a white working class area of London. … I was loved, I was cared for, but as a result of living with this family in this all-white neighborhood, I went to an all-white elementary or primary school. And I was literally the only Black child in an all-white school.
So one afternoon, after school had ended, I was playing with one of my playmates … And at a certain point in our game, a car pulls up, and this kid that I was playing with goes over to the car and has a very short conversation with whomever was in the car, which I now know was his parent, his father. He comes back and he … says, “I can’t play with you.” And that was the end of the game.
On the experience of writing his forthcoming memoir
It’s been healing, actually. I’m not denying that it has opened me up. I’ve been compelled to scrutinize myself. I’m using that word very advisedly, “scrutinized.” It’s a scrutiny, it’s an examination of oneself. But in my case, because a very, very, very significant part of what I’m writing has to do with re-examining my relationship with my mom. And so my mom is a protagonist in my memoir. I’m told by my editor and by my publisher that one of the attractions to what I’m writing is that it is not a classic “celebrity memoir.” I am examining history. I’m examining culture. I’m looking at certain passages of history through the lens of the “Windrush” experience [of Caribbean immigrants who came to the UK after World War II].
On getting a masters degree to help him write his mother’s story
My mom deserved it. My mom is deserving. And not only is my mom deserving, by extension, all the people of the Windrush generation are deserving. Stories about Windrush are not part of the global cultural lexicon commensurate with its impact. The people of Windrush changed the definition of what it means to be British. There are all these Black and brown people, theretofore members of what used to be called the British Commonwealth. And they were invited by the British government to come to England, the United Kingdom, to help rebuild the United Kingdom in the aftermath of the destruction of World War II. My mom was part of that movement. They helped rebuild construction, construction industry, transportation industry, critically, the health industry, the NHS, the National Health Service. My mom is a nurse.
The reason that I went into NYU was because my original intention was to write a screenplay about my mom. I wanted to write a screenplay about my mom because I looked around and I thought: Where are the feature films that have as protagonist a Caribbean female, a Black female, where are they? … I wanted to address that, I wanted to correct that, what I see as being an imbalance.
Ann Marie Baldonado and Susan Nyakundi produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Beth Novey adapted it for the web.

Lifestyle
Britney Spears Open to Treatment Plan as Team Weighs Options
Britney Spears
Open to Treatment Plan After DUI Arrest, Source Says
Published
Britney Spears‘ team is hoping the judge mandates treatment for the pop star over jail time following her Wednesday DUI arrest … and Britney isn’t fighting them on that, TMZ has learned.
Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … Britney is willing to comply with a treatment and support plan.
We’re told her team is in the early stages of developing a plan and they’re exploring multiple options, including mental health services, detox, and dual-diagnosis programs.
It’s unclear whether she would do inpatient or outpatient treatment, and it’s also unclear whether she would enter treatment before her May 4 court date.
Broadcastify.com
We broke the story … Britney was pulled over by California Highway Patrol officers around 9:30 PM Wednesday in Westlake Village, CA, not far from her home. She was later taken to a hospital — not for any injuries, because we’re told she didn’t sustain any — but to draw her blood to determine her blood alcohol content.
According to CHP, she was arrested for “driving under the influence of a combination of drugs and alcohol.”
Sources familiar with the investigation told us an unknown substance was found in Britney’s car, which was sent to be tested.
Britney’s manager, Cade Hudson, previously told TMZ … “This was an unfortunate and inexcusable incident. Britney will take the right steps, comply with the law, and we hope this marks the start of long-overdue change in her life. She needs help and support during this difficult time. Her boys will be spending time with her, and her loved ones are putting a plan in place to set her up for success and well-being.”
Lifestyle
If you loved ‘Sinners,’ here’s what to watch next
Michael B. Jordan plays twin brothers Smoke and Stack in Sinners.
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Warner Bros. Pictures
Ryan Coogler’s supernatural horror stars Michael B. Jordan playing twin brothers who open a 1930s juke joint in Mississippi. Opening night does not go as planned when vampires appear outside. “In a straightforward metaphor for all the ways Black culture has been co-opted by whiteness, the raucous pleasures and sonic beauty of the juke joint attract the interest of a trio of demons … they wish to literally leech off of the talents and energy of Black folks,” writes critic Aisha Harris. The film made history with a record 16 Academy Award nominations.


We asked our NPR audience: What movie would you recommend to someone who loved Sinners? Here’s what you told us:
Near Dark (1987)
Directed by Kathryn Bigelow; starring Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen
If you want another cool vampire movie with Western kind of vibes, check out Kathryn Bigelow’s Near Dark — super underseen and kind of hard to find, but really gritty and sexy and another very different take on what you might think is a genre that had been wrung dry. – Maggie Grossman, Chicago, Ill.
30 Days of Night (2007)
Directed by David Slade; starring Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston
It follows a group of people in a small Alaskan town as they struggle to survive an invasion of vampires who have taken advantage of the month-long absence of the sun. Both this and Sinners revolve around a vampire takeover and the people’s fight to outlast the “night.” – Nathan Strzelewicz, DeWitt, Mich.
The Wailing (2016)
Directed by Na Hong-jin; starring Kwak Do-won, Hwang Jung-min, Chun Woo-hee, Jun Kunimura
In this South Korean supernatural horror film, a mysterious illness causes people in a quiet rural village to become violent and murderous. A local police officer investigates while trying to save his daughter, who begins showing the same disturbing symptoms. The film blends folk horror, religion, and psychological dread, exploring themes of faith, evil, and moral weakness. Like Sinners, it centers on a supernatural force corrupting a close-knit community, builds slow-burning tension, and examines spiritual conflict and human frailty. – Amy Merke, Bronx, N.Y.
Fréwaka (2024)
Directed by Aislinn Clarke; starring Bríd Ní Neachtain, Clare Monnelly, Aleksandra Bystrzhitskaya
In this Irish folk horror film, a home care worker, Shoo, is assigned to stay with an elderly woman who’s convinced she’s under siege by malevolent fairies. Like Sinners, Fréwaka blends folk traditions and social commentary with horror. The social failures Shoo copes with (untreated mental health issues, religious abuse) are just as frightening as the supernatural forces. – Kerrin Smith, Baltimore, Md.
And a bonus pick from our critic:
Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (2020)
Directed by George C. Wolfe; starring Viola Davis, Chadwick Boseman, Glynn Turman
This is an adaptation of August Wilson’s play about a legendary blues singer (Viola Davis) muscling through a recording session with white producers who want to control her music. Chadwick Boseman’s blistering in his final role. – Bob Mondello, NPR movie critic
Carly Rubin and Ivy Buck contributed to this project. It was edited by Clare Lombardo.
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