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Inside L.A.'s invite-only mom group that’s better than Google

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At first, Cathlene Pineda was reluctant to join the Atwater Village Moms’ Facebook group.

The jazz pianist and composer doesn’t particularly like Facebook, and she’s wary of online communities. But she acquiesced because, as she put it, “Some other moms were like, ‘You have to be part of this group.’”

After joining in 2021, she realized it had benefits. When she needed a trustworthy mechanic, the Atwater Moms told her who to call. When she was ready to sleep train her baby, they recommended books like “The Happy Sleeper” and “The No-Cry Sleep Solution.” When she went to Vegas, they told her to stay at the Cosmopolitan.

Then, a few months into her membership, she was diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer. She had a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old at home and couldn’t imagine how she would get through the long, involved treatment her doctors prescribed. Not sure what else to do, she turned to the Atwater Moms for help.

“I was expecting what I usually got, which is a few responses,” she said. Instead, more than 90 women commented on her post. They shared lists of specialists and free resources, including how to sign up for meal services and get a one-time cash grant. But for Pineda, their validation helped the most.

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“Some of the women who commented had gone through this when their kids were the same age as my children and they said, ‘You can do this,’” she said. “I didn’t even really need the advice. I just needed to feel real.”

Founded in 2011 as a way for new mothers in Atwater Village to meet each other, the Atwater Village Mom’s Group has evolved over time to become a crowdsourcing powerhouse with more than 6,000 members scattered across L.A. and around the world. One member in a recent post called it the best advice group on the Internet. Another described it in an interview as “Yelp times 100.”

“Obviously I still Google things, but before I do, I ask myself: ‘Can I ask Atwater Village Moms?’” said Swati Kapila, an actress and mother of a 2-year-old. “People jokingly call it Moogle all the time — Mom Google. It’s mama mutual aid.”

If you have questions about summer camps, the going rate for nannies, the best local preschools or where to go for date night — the Atwater Moms have answers. They’ve helped one another find gifts for their partners, swapped recommendations for the best birthday party parks and compared experiences with pediatricians, dentists and kid barbers. At the same time, they’ve supported each other through life’s biggest challenges, many of which extend far beyond birthing and caring for a child.

Daryl Dickerson, a mother of two who teaches gardening at a charter school, bought a car from a mom in the group. It was the first step in her divorce. When Sharon Sognalian’s apartment rental fell through, the legal staffer and mother of a 12-year-old moved into another member’s back house.

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Tanya Reyes, a mother of three who teaches at a school for pregnant and parenting teens in Echo Park, said members of Atwater Moms have donated strollers, car seats and used clothes to her students. Any time she posts her Amazon wishlist to the group, packages soon appear at the school.

“This community has allowed me to serve my community of students,” she said. “It’s moms supporting moms.”

“People jokingly call it Moogle all the time — Mom Google. It’s mama mutual aid.”

— Swati Kapila, Atwater Village Moms member

Reyes has received other types of support from the group as well. When she recently posted about the challenges of getting her “neurospicy” kid out of the house each morning, she got 87 responses. Like Pineda, she said her fellow moms’ solidarity was even more valuable than their advice. “It’s nice to know I’m not crazy, this is really happening.”

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Brandi Jordan, a parenting specialist who has worked as a doula for celebrities like Julia Stiles, Mandy Moore and Megan Fox, never expected this kind of communal support when she started Atwater Village Moms back in 2011, soon after Facebook first introduced its groups feature. At the time she was running a boutique called the Cradle Company that catered to Atwater’s moms and babies. Her oldest son, now 16, was just 3.

She and another mom, Leonora Pitts, started the group to connect with other women with babies in the area and to coordinate occasional meet-ups at the park. She’d heard of similar groups on the Westside but didn’t think they would be her vibe. “I’m not trying to figure out how to get my baby’s eyebrows waxed,” she said. “But good on you if that’s your thing.”

Initially Jordan and her co-founder aimed for 25 women to join Atwater Village Moms, but word spread and interest soared. Then they thought the group might top out at 200, but it quickly surpassed that number too. The criteria for joining then were the same as they are now: You must be a parent, identify as female or nonbinary and — though you’re not required to live in Atwater Village, or even L.A. — you must be invited by another member to join. (A discussion about whether men can join the group is ongoing, but for now they remain excluded.)

“This community has allowed me to serve my community of students. It’s moms supporting moms.”

— Tanya Reyes, Atwater Village Moms

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Jordan doesn’t have demographic data on the group, but she said that, historically, members tend to be white and affluent and live on the Eastside. But in recent years, there’s been a shift. “We’ve had more women of color joining,” said Jordan, who is Black. “As people have seen it is a safe space, they are sharing with more women of color.”

Atwater Village Moms has gone through different phases over the years. In the early days, discussions centered around places to go with small kids and member meet-ups. As time went on, it grew into a general resource for any question about L.A. and beyond. The posts became more political after the 2016 election and again after what Jordan describes as “the George Floyd era,” when the moms in the group began more openly discussing race.

“It was difficult, but as a group we didn’t give up,” she said. “We have this idea that this place is not safe — it’s brave. We’re going to make mistakes, we’re going to get over it, we’re going to talk about it and we’re going to hear different sides. And we started making rules to support that.”

Before joining, the group members have to agree to a set of rules that includes respecting everyone’s privacy (no screenshotting posts), refraining from hate speech or bullying and abstaining from deleting a post because it’s drawing unwanted comments (this is grounds for removal).

“Anything that affects women and mothers, you can talk about in the group and we don’t limit that conversation,” Jordan said. “But we also tell people you have to understand that people are going to voice opposite opinions and you have to be OK with that.”

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Lauren Amaro, a professor of communication at Pepperdine University who has studied online mom groups (and who recently found a general practitioner on a moms Facebook group in Camarillo), said it’s rare for a group the size of Atwater Moms to be seen in such a positive light by its members. These communities can devolve into mom-shaming that is especially painful for new parents.

“The fact that women are willing to trust other women on the internet is both a beautiful and necessary thing and sometimes, depending on the topic and context, unwise,” she said. “There is a really wide range of how these mom groups function.”

Careful moderation, along with clear, consistent rules, can help groups like Atwater Moms thrive, she said.

Liza Sacilioc, a communications specialist who has been a member of the group for more than a decade, said Jordan is a skilled moderator. “Brandi does a really good job seeing people and setting the ground rules without it feeling like a slap on the hand,” she said. “We’re a very respectful group.”

“We have this idea that this place is not safe — it’s brave. We’re going to make mistakes, we’re going to get over it, we’re going to talk about it and we’re going to hear different sides.”

— Brandi Jordan, co-founder and moderator of Atwater Village Moms

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Three years after she joined Atwater Moms, Pineda is grateful for all she’s gained as a member. A self-described introvert, she said it wasn’t like her to post about her cancer diagnosis to a group of 6,000 people. But somehow, doing it on Atwater Village Moms felt safe.

“For me to share that, I had to feel that they would respond appropriately and helpfully, and in so many Facebook groups that’s not the case,” she said. “Looking back at some of those comments, they were like: ‘I have no advice, I’m just sending you love and holding you close in my heart.’ That’s it. Everyone was so respectful.”

And today, with her cancer in remission, she often finds herself responding to other women’s questions, whether they’re about cancer, child-rearing or just life in general.

“You want to help someone if you can,” she said. “It takes five minutes to say, ‘This worked for me, I don’t know if it will work for you.’ And also: You’re doing a great job.’”

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Street Style Look of the Week: Airy Beachy Clothes

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Street Style Look of the Week: Airy Beachy Clothes

“She’s like a female Willy Wonka,” Sakief Baron, 36, said about Kendra Austin, 32, after she explained that her personal style had a playful and cartoonish spirit.

Dressed in loose, oversize layers in blue and neutral shades, the couple were walking on the Upper East Side of Manhattan when I noticed them on a Saturday in April. There was a symmetry to their ensembles, so it wasn’t too surprising when she noted that he had influenced her fashion sense.

Before they met, she said, she was “less sure” about her wardrobe choices. “I also have lost 100 pounds in the time we’ve been together,” she added, which she said had helped her to recalibrate her relationship with clothes.

His style has been influenced by hip-hop culture, basketball players like Allen Iverson and his mother’s Finnish background. “I just take all these pieces and then it kind of comes together,” he said.

Both described themselves as multidisciplinary artists; he also has a job at a youth center, mentoring children. “I want to make sure that I look like someone they want to aspire to be every time they see me,” he said.

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What are Angelenos giving away in one Buy Nothing group? All this treasured stuff

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What are Angelenos giving away in one Buy Nothing group? All this treasured stuff

In my L.A. Buy Nothing group, I started noticing how some objects, given for free from neighbor to neighbor, carry emotional weight. An item was more than it appeared. It was a piece of personal history, perhaps one with generational memories.

From one person’s hands to another’s, objects find new life through the free gift economy on Facebook or the Buy Nothing app. Buy Nothing Project, a public benefit corporation, reports having 14 million members across more than 50 countries who give away 2.6 million items a month. There are more than 100 groups in Los Angeles alone.

Buy Nothing reduces waste by keeping items out of landfills. It also builds community. When our lives are increasingly online, Buy Nothing encourages us to get out of our cars and make connections with neighbors, even if the interaction is no more than a wave when picking something up left by a doorstep. Researchers have found that even small social interactions can foster a sense of belonging.

Still, Buy Nothing has its challenges. For years, some have complained that the groups shouldn’t be limited to neighborhoods, but rather have more open borders. Last year, many longtime members complained about the project enforcing its trademark, leading Facebook to shut down unregistered groups even if they were serving people under economic strain. Critics saw the tattling as a shift from mutual aid toward control and branding. For its part, Buy Nothing says its decisions are based on building community, trust and safety.

Despite those disagreements, Buy Nothing offers a platform for special connections. As much as there are jokes about people offering half-eaten cake, many have passed along treasured items. Buy Nothing items may feel too valuable for the trash or too personal for Goodwill. The interaction between giver and receiver becomes just as meaningful as the object itself.

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I set out to document these quiet exchanges in my Buy Nothing group, drawn to the question of why people choose to pass their belongings from one neighbor to another.

Tiny builders, big exchange

Lidia Butcher gives a toolbox and worktable her two sons used to Chelsea Ward for her 17-month-old son.

“We’ve had the toolbox and worktable for the last 10 years, it’s been very special. When I told my youngest son we were going to give it away, he was a little sad. He said he was still playing with it, but then I explained that it’s been sitting untouched for a year and that if we gave it to someone else, maybe someone else would be happy about it. So he felt joy about giving it to another child who would want to play with it. I have this little emotional feeling letting it go, but at the same time, it’s a good feeling. Like a new beginning.”

— Lidia Butcher, 35, joined the group several years ago when someone told her a person in the group once asked for a cup of sugar.

“We’re getting a worktable. Benji is now old enough to be interested in playing with tools. I’m going to move my drafting table out of his room. His bedroom is my office. So that will go into storage or the Buy Nothing group and the worktable will go in its place. We live in an apartment, and as he’s growing, his needs change but our space doesn’t. Buy Nothing is really helpful to be able to cycle out of stuff.”

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— Chelsea Ward, 38, has found the Buy Nothing group extremely helpful since becoming a mom.

Something borrowed

Abby Rodriguez lends Sophie Janinet a veil for her wedding.

“Sophie had asked for a wedding veil on our Buy Nothing group and I’m lending it to her because I wanted it to have a second life. I hate the idea that precious things just sit there and never get touched. My wedding day was one of the best days of my life. At one point the power went out and now we have this amazing picture with my husband and I and everyone using their phone to light up the dance floor.”

— Abby Rodriguez, 40, discovered Buy Nothing when she moved to her northeast L.A. neighborhood in 2020.

“I moved to Los Angeles from France four years ago. The day I joined Buy Nothing was the first time I felt connected to the community. It played a huge role in my adapting to life here. I’m receiving a veil because I want my wedding to look and feel like my values. I thrifted my dress, I chose a local seamstress to alter the dress but when I tried it on, I felt something was missing. I wanted a veil but I didn’t want to buy new because I didn’t want to add anything to the landfill. So I posted a request for the veil on Buy Nothing.”

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— Sophie Janinet, 37, is recreating the low-waste, slower-paced values she once lived by in France through her local Buy Nothing community.

1

2 Two women sit on steps with a fake owl.

1. Abby Rodriguez, left, holds her wedding veil that she is lending Sophie Janinet, right, for her upcoming wedding. 2. Michele Sawers, left stands with Beth Penn, right, while giving her a decorative owl.

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A pigeon-spooking owl gets a second life

Michele Sawers gives Beth Penn a decorative owl.

“Coming from a place of luck, now I have plenty to give. The owl has been with me for 26 years. I bought the owl soon after I bought this house. The owl was purchased because I had a pigeon problem, they would camp out under my eves and I would have bird poop everywhere. The owl must have worked because they’re gone and they haven’t come back.”

— Michele Sawers, 58, uses Buy Nothing regularly to connect with her community and support her low-consumption values.

“There are things I don’t want to own. So borrowing those things on Buy Nothing is really nice. There is a person who I borrowed their cooler twice and their ladder twice so I feel like they are my neighbor even though they are not [right next door]. We get these birds that poop on the deck and the recommendation online was to get a fake owl. When it was posted on Buy Nothing, I thought, ‘I have to have that owl!’ It’s going to have a good home with me on the deck with some cats, a dog and some kids.”

— Beth Penn, 47, once helped build her local Buy Nothing group and now experiences it from the other side, as a member.

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Stuffed toys find a new purpose

Two women stand in front of a green plant holding stuffed dolls and a bag of ball pit balls.

Magaly Leyva, left, stands with Tatiana Lonny, right, with the stuffed toys and play balls she is gifting her.

(Dania Maxwell/For The Times)

Magaly Leyva gives stuffed toys and plastic play balls to Tatiana Lonny.

“My mother-in-law gave the dolls and plastic play balls to my daughter, but she has so much. My daughter is not going to play with them with the same intent that another kid would, because she’s really little. I’d rather another kid use these things.”

— Magaly Leyva, 35, joined Buy Nothing nearly four years ago to find clothes for her nephew.

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“I’m taking these new items to a township called Langa in South Africa. I know the kids there will be so happy. They have so little there. I’m doing this all by myself, I’m just collecting a GoFundMe for the suitcase fee at the airport.”

— Tatiana Lonny, 51, began using Buy Nothing in hopes of finding resources to support the animals she rescues.

A second helping

Laura Cherkas gives Aurora Sanchez a cast iron pan.

“Buy Nothing gives me the freedom to let go of things because I know that they will stay in the community and the neighborhood. I’m giving a couple of cast iron items that my husband and I got when we were on a cast iron kick, probably during COVID. We determined that we don’t actually use these particular pans and they were just making our drawers heavy. So we decided to let someone else get some use out of them.

“I hate throwing things away. I want to see things have another life. Sometimes I take things to a donation center, but I like the personal connection with Buy Nothing and that you know that there is someone who definitely wants your item.”

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— Laura Cherkas, 40, has built connections with other moms through Buy Nothing and values it as a way to cycle toys in and out for her child.

Two women stand by a gate at night holding cast iron pans.

Laura Cherkas, left, holds the pan she is gifting Aurora Sanchez, right, through Buy Nothing.

(Dania Maxwell/For The Times)

“I wanted a cast iron pan because I cook a lot of grilled meat. I’m excited to try this style of cooking out and it will help me when I cook for only one or two people. I got lucky because I was chosen to receive it.”

— Aurora Sanchez, 54, has spent the past two years engaging with Buy Nothing, finding in it a sense of neighborly support that makes her feel valued while strengthening her connection to the community.

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Next player up

A man poses next to a basketball hoop in front of his garage.

Joe Zeni, 70, is using his local Buy Nothing group on Facebook to give away a basketball hoop he used with his son when he was little.

(Dania Maxwell/For The Times)

Joe Zeni first offered a basketball hoop on Buy Nothing in 2023, where it remains unclaimed.

“I’m giving away a Huffy basketball freestanding hoop because it’s just taking up space. We used to play horse and shoot baskets together. My son is now 35, he doesn’t live here anymore.”

— Joe Zeni, 70, uses Buy Nothing often to give items away, believing many of the things he no longer needs still have purpose.

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Armani Goes Back to the Archive

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Armani Goes Back to the Archive

In the year since his death, there has been no hard pivot at Armani. The shadow of the founder has stayed in place over the Milan HQ, where the brand seems happy to leave it. Armani is not just plumbing the past for continued inspiration, it’s reselling it.

Today, Giorgio Armani is announcing Archivio, a grouping of 13 men’s and women’s looks, plucked from the brand’s back catalog and remade for today. (And, yes, at today’s prices.) There’s a jacket in pinstriped alpaca of 1979 vintage; a buttery one-and-a-half breasted jacket with a maitre d’s flair that first appeared in 1987; and an unstructured silk-linen suit that will activate ’90s flashbacks for die-hard Armani clients and those who want to capture that era’s nostalgia. The advertising campaign was shot and styled by Eli Russell Linnetz, who has his own label, ERL, but always seems to be the first call brands make when they want sultry photos with the aura of Details magazine circa 1995. (He did a similar thing for Guess recently.)

Linnetz’s images are a reminder of how Armani’s work still reverberates decades later.

Archivio is also a canny recognition of what shoppers crave now. On the resale market, Armani wares are as coveted as can be. Every week it seems as if I get an email from Ndwc0, a British vintage store, announcing a new drop of meaty-shouldered ’90s Armani power suits. They sell for less than $500. At Sorbara’s in Brooklyn, you can buy a tan Giorgio Armani vest for $225.

That vintage-mad audience is in Armani’s sights: To introduce the collection, it’s staging an installation, opening today, at Giorgio Armani’s Milan boutique. It will feature the hosts of “Throwing Fits,” a New York-based podcast whose hosts wear vintage Armani button-ups and shout out stores like Sorbara’s.

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It’s prudent, if a bit disconnected. Part of the charm of old Armani is that it can be found on the cheap. I’m wearing a pair of vintage Giorgio Armani corduroys as I write this. I bought them for $76 on eBay. Archivio is reverent, but its prices, which range from $1,025 to $12,000, may scare off shoppers willing to do the searching themselves.

If you ask me, the next frontier of this archive fixation is that a brand — and a big one — will release a mountain of genuine vintage pieces. J. Crew and Banana Republic have tried this at a small scale, but a luxury house like Armani hasn’t gone there. Yet. Eventually, Armani (or a brand like it) is going to grab hold of the market that exists around its brand, but through which it gets no cut.


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