Lifestyle
In defense of Disney adults
There are two words that will strike fear in a grown-up fan of a Disney theme park: Disney adult.
While some may wear the designation as a badge of honor, many associate it with a specific form of humiliation. For a Disney adult is typically seen as not an adult at all.
Their obsession, detractors argue, revolves around a capitalistic enterprise focused on childish happily-ever-after delusions. They are not living in reality, at least if the sneering definition on Urban Dictionary is to be believed; it argues that Disney adults are among “the most terrifyingly intense people you’ll ever encounter.”
What are the signifiers of a Disney adult? It varies, depending on how deep one goes. As a grown man in my mid-40s, I’ve been called a Disney adult. Perhaps it’s the Figment tattoo, or the plethora of monorail-inspired artwork in my home, items I justify as being a fan of art and design. Most likely it’s the fact that I go to the parks twice per month, often by myself, typically just to bask in the atmosphere.
But is there that big a difference between my love of Disney parks and that of live theater, museums or baseball? Culture, specifically online culture, often says yes, looking down upon those who spend their disposable income at a place devoted to fairy tales and people in costumes. Besides, Disneyland is crowded, expensive — so expensive some go into debt to experience it — and, worst of all, say deriders, fake.
If only all of that were true. Yes the parks can be prohibitively pricy, and they have found numerous ways to ruin the magic with nickel-and-diming. But is the Disney adult truly something to fear? Or are those who’ve held onto their love for Disney beyond childhood — specifically the die-hard fans who continue to pilgrimage to the parks — the sort of imaginative spirits from whom we could learn a thing or two?
To find out, I went to a number of people I consider experts in the Disney adult space — that is, designers, historians, writers, a psychologist and more. Disneyland is often said to be “fun” or “an escape,” but I wanted to dig deeper, to ask those who have thought critically about theme parks why these spaces matter, why millions are drawn to them and what, if any, emotional benefit they provide.
One word kept coming up: play. And with play comes not only silliness but vulnerability and community. Theme parks, everyone agreed, are facilitators of all of the above. And perhaps that’s why the phrase “Disney adult” causes such consternation. Belonging and frivolity are traits to crave, but increasingly they feel like luxuries.
Thoughts on Disney adults?
Are Disney adults to be envied or feared? Does a day at a theme park spark joy, or cause you stress? Leave a comment below with your take on the benefits — or lack thereof — of being a grown-up Disney fan.
Here’s my take: Humans survive on narrative, telling stories, often romanticized ones, to make sense of the world around us. Spaces that can create the illusion of separating us from our daily lives serve a crucial grown-up purpose: to envelope the guest and create a sense of wonder, grandeur and comfort. Imaginative design, be it Malibu’s Getty Villa or Sleeping Beauty Castle, are not just a balm but therapeutic, allowing us to embody idealized versions of ourselves. And after a week of juggling personal, professional and financial responsibilities, sometimes cavorting with singing pirates and dancing dolls simply takes the edge off.
But don’t just take my word for it. Here are multiple perspectives on the benefits of never graduating from a love of Disney parks.
The interviews have been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.
Bethanee Bemis
Bethanee Bemis.
(Photo illustration by Los Angeles Times; photograph by Sarah Treich.)
Museum specialist at the National Museum of American History and author of “Disney Theme Parks and America’s National Narratives”
One of the things that you see, if you’re looking at people going to the Disney parks over time — historically and today — is people saying they have a sense of safety. It’s physical. I’ve seen a lot of people who talk about having children with different abilities, and saying that at Disney they’re not afraid they’re going to run out into the street and be hit by a car. We also saw that during the pandemic. People returned to Disney before they returned to other spaces because they trusted Disney was going to keep them safe.
But it starts in the ’50s with Disneyland being a place of psychological safety, from the Cold War and the fraught political times. That continues today. There’s a sense that when you go to a Disney park, you put aside whatever you’re thinking of outside, and you just concentrate on the best of humanity. It’s physical and psychological safety, which people are seeking, whether they know that or not.
The Disney parks are very important. They are providing a narrative of what it means to be an American.
— Bethanee Bemis
I, as an adult, still suffer from anxiety. I remember growing up feeling a sense of calmness when I went to Disney because of its predictability and safety. I knew that when I was there I didn’t have to give in to that anxiety. I think that, in part, is what keeps drawing me back. But I saw that too in the research I did for my book. People go initially because they think they’re supposed to or their family went and they want to pass it down, but once they get that psychological release of feeling safe and feeling like they can be their most joyful self, that’s what people are chasing when they go back.
There are very few shared social institutions anymore in the U.S. We don’t belong to a dominant church. We very clearly don’t belong to one political ideology. But I’ve seen studies that say something like 83% to 90% will go to a Disney park at some point in their lifetime, whether they loved it, hated it or are a Disney adult. I think that’s one of the only shared experiences that as a country we still have. In that sense, I think the Disney parks are very important. They are providing a narrative of what it means to be an American. And one of the reasons we keep going back is because it represents the best. If we were functioning at peak humanity, how would we act to each other? If America were functioning at peak optimal performance, could we be as magical as this place?
Fri Forjindam
Fri Forjindam.
(Photo illustration by Los Angeles Times; photograph by Nahla Sophie)
Chief development officer at Mycotoo, a Pasadena-based experiential design firm with an emphasis on theme parks
We were born with the language to play and be curious before we even understood letters and alphabets. Curiosity, cause and effect, and gaming have always been in our DNA as a species, and that’s across all cultures. Over time, parameters, ideology and all these things erode the ability to be curious — or the right to be curious. Then it goes from a right to a privilege, where it’s just about whether you can afford to do it, or if you’re in a space that’s welcom[ing] to that mind-set.
I’m talking about what it means to play and see the world from a different lens — ultimately, that’s what play is, to be able to pretend. All of those things are about changing the lens, and as we age and get older the opportunities to enact that lens get smaller and more limited. So now it becomes a privilege thing, as to whether you can afford it. And I don’t just mean money. Also, time. There’s a cultural affordance. It is a privilege to be able to play.
You can be more vulnerable and you can open up more and have more meaningful connections. I think that’s what theme parks, at a high level, offer.
— Fri Forjindam
You’re commenting on people looking at you with a sense of judgment but also a sense of envy: “How come you can and I can’t? What is it that you do that allows you to do it?” I either wish I could, or I hate that, because it means you’re not a serious person. It changes from person to person and by gender and by ethnic group, but it changes from a right to a privilege and I think that’s unfortunate.
Even as adults, we’re constantly searching for where we fit and how we can affect people on a micro or macro level. That’s all play, because it’s testing and reacting. If that’s done in an environment that feels safe and judgment-free, you can be more vulnerable and you can open up more and have more meaningful connections. I think that’s what theme parks, at a high level, offer. Once you get deeper, there’s different expressions of that because it’s escapism. But that’s really what it offers. It’s an opportunity to find your tribe and your community.
My experience with Super Nintendo World is different from that of my 14-year-old and 11-year-old, and that’s OK. There was still a sense of possibility through these cute little characters that you were able to embody — these other worlds, these adventures, these challenges and these fantastical scenarios. That never ages. And the minute it does, we are no longer creative. As humanity, when we stop being curious about problem solving and being creative in how we look at things differently, we slowly atrophy.
Mikhael Tara Garver
Mikhael Tara Garver.
(Photo illustration by Los Angeles Times; photograph by J Bascom)
Co-founder of Culture House Immersive, the experiential entertainment arm of L.A.-based production company Culture House. Garver previously worked with Walt Disney Imagineering and immersive theater production “Sleep No More.”
I think that there are very few places that we go to that the entire intent is joy. As an adult, I actually think practicing figuring out how to go to a place like that, and how to do that with people I love, is really important. Am I here to say that all the challenges that exist in theme parks — lines, all that stuff — support that? No. But ultimately, why we are going is that it’s built as a place for wonder, joy and play.
I think sports is the other place where that happens for people. But why do we judge if the way you connect to the world is through story, joy and play versus if you connect through the story of fandom, joy and play? That’s kind of how sports identifies itself. I believe they’re interconnected. And I’m a sports fan. I’m wearing my Notre Dame shirt right now. But it’s a misconception.
We crave fandom and we find it in music, but we don’t call people a Beyoncé adult.
— Mikhael Tara Garver
The first time I worked at a theme park was the [Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser]. I’ve worked in massive immersive themed work, and I came to theme parks in my 40s as a creator. And the way I approach anything I’ve done, I’m super curious. So the Disney adult phenomena, I became obsessed with understanding. And truly, it’s the same thing as people who are intense about a sports team. It’s the same thing.
It has problems, like fandom around a sports team, but it has beauty and belonging. Yet we don’t say the Dodgers adult. We say the Disney adult. We crave fandom and we find it in music, but we don’t call people a Beyoncé adult. But it’s just narrative. Disney is about living in narrative play worlds. It’s narrative play. Sports is sports play. Music is music play. We dance together.
Margaret Kerrison
Margaret Kerrison.
(Photo illustration by Los Angeles Times; photograph by Foster Kerrison)
Former theme park designer with Walt Disney Imagineering, helping to lead the creation of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, and author of two books, including “Reimagined Worlds: Narrative Placemaking for People, Play, and Purpose”
If people take a stance against Disney, it’s against mega-corporations or mass consumption. But there’s so many of us who understand it’s more than that. It’s about stories and characters and all the things that give us hope, optimism and fun. Is that so wrong to want that?
I had to coach my husband when I first started working for Imagineering. My husband is a hiker, a birder, a nature person. People were asking me, “So you’re going to be designing theme parks?” And my husband was like, “Yes, that’s right, but I’d rather be going to a national park.” On the drive home I had a serious conversation. “You can’t say stuff like that. You have to be supportive of what I do.” And now, he’s asking to go to Disney theme parks more than I suggest.
It’s about stories and characters and all the things that give us hope, optimism and fun. Is that so wrong to want that?
— Margaret Kerrison
I think a lot of designers need to be reminded that places that are open to the public are our gathering places. We’re lacking in them. I write in my book about how we’re losing our “third place.” We do everything from home. We go to the gym at home — yoga online — and we can get everything delivered. No matter where you come from, you can step into a place like a Disney theme park and feel like you’re coming home. It’s a place of collective memory. For me and you talking about Disneyland, we’ve never been there together, but we can talk about it like it is our home because we have shared memories.
A lot of the time people are like, “It’s all just made up. It’s fictional. They’re fabricating.”
Everything — any place you go to — is fabricated, unless you go into nature, but even that is by nature’s design. If your feelings are real, if you feel happy and joy and connected, who’s to say whether it’s “real” or not? Do I feel safe and secure? Do I feel like I belong? And is there an invitation to play? For those who say, “Yes, I want to do this. Let’s play,” then those are the ones who benefit the most. Theme parks are meant to be social and meant to promote connection, with the people you’re with or with strangers. It’s the chance to connect with something bigger than yourself. It’s a shared identity, and that’s what makes community.
In the example of my husband, a lot of it is the fear of the unknown — the fear of not knowing how I’m supposed to act or if other people will look at me funny as a grown adult being silly and having fun. But at Disneyland, you see people of all ages dancing in the queue and laughing. In this place, you have permission to be as playful as you want. This is a land of play.
Drea Letamendi
Drea Letamendi.
(Photo illustration by Los Angeles Times; photograph by Idriss Njike)
Psychologist, mental health strategist at UCLA and co-host of the podcast “The Arkham Sessions: Psychology of Batman & More”
I go to the theme parks relentlessly, without guilt, and continue to buy the passes that I know they’re overcharging me [for]. It is an enjoyment that I cannot and will not give up. I know a lot of people like me who don’t have children but continue to enjoy the Disney theme parks. The first element I think of is play. Everybody can benefit from play. A lot of therapists will agree that adults need play on a consistent basis. More and more, adults are not necessarily discouraged, but not encouraged, to introduce play into their everyday lives. We have a lot of responsibilities — our finances, our relationships and our work relationships. We have very few cues in our lives to participate in play. The Disney parks, without question, give us nonstop cues.
It’s about sparking youthfulness. I don’t mean age by that. I mean a sense of creativity.
— Drea Letamendi
Why is play important? Play relieves stress. Some people will say Disney planning can be stressful, but for the most part this is the kind of play that reduces stress, and therefore release these wonderful chemicals called endorphins. These are the feel-good chemicals we need to help manage our anxiety, our mood disorders, our feelings of self-doubt and the everyday stress that a lot of us carry. Secondly, play can help improve our brain functions — it’s just a sense of executive functioning. How are we interacting socially? How are we planning our day?
The last thing I’ll say about play: It accelerates and stimulates social interaction. Even if you’re an adult who goes on your own, being connected to other people who enjoy the same things that we enjoy can be incredibly therapeutic. It’s validating. It’s very affirming. We get the sense that our enjoyment of that very thing is shared. There’s a community aspect to it, and you don’t even have to know the people around you for that community benefit to happen. Fundamentally, I really want to underscore the importance of the Disney parks. It’s about sparking youthfulness. I don’t mean age by that. I mean a sense of creativity and getting permission to be free-flowing and fluid in those thoughts.
There’s nothing necessarily wrong with someone who positions themselves or talks about themselves as a Disney adult. The stigma around the term Disney adult is that it might be associated with fandoms or lifestyles that some people are trying to stay away from. As a Disney adult, that seems wild to me. Someone would stay away from a person who loves creativity and fictional characters and immersing themselves in imaginative worlds? I think some people feel deterred by that. At the end of the day, anything that provides positive well-being that doesn’t harm other people should be well accepted.
Robyn Muir
Robyn Muir.
(Photo illustration by Los Angeles Times; photograph by Robyn Muir)
University lecturer, author of “The Disney Princess Phenomenon: A Feminist Analysis” and founder of the scholarly community the Disney, Culture and Society Research Network
Life is really hard, right? Life as an adult is really hard. I think for a long time as a child you are desperate to grow up, and then when you grow up, you think, “Oh God, what have I done that for?” I don’t want to speak for all adults, but there is a notion of, “Here I am, I’ve grown up and now I have all this responsibility. I’ve got to pay bills and I just want to go back to having fun with my friends every so often.”
Disneyland and Walt Disney World, and even the films themselves, they were designed not just for children. They were very aware they wanted to expand that target market. Unfortunately, over the years, what seems to have happened is that Disney and Disney films have become associated with childhood. That’s not how we should think about things. It’s a place for people of all ages. That’s why you’ve got dark rides, where you can go on a nice little boat ride, and you’ve got huge thrill rides like Space Mountain. They want to offer a space for everyone, and that will of course have benefits with profits.
I’ve read Plato and Aristotle, but I know I’m going to have a better time at a Disney theme park, to be honest with you.
— Robyn Muir
I’ve done research with people where they’ve explained that they might not want to admit that they’re Disney adults. They don’t want judgment because it’s seen as a children’s thing. It’s seen as childish if you’re engaging with it. I don’t think that’s the case. You can be a responsible adult and be very serious while allowing yourself to play and have fun and engage in something that brings you joy. For example, sports fans. It’s the same thing, just in a different setting. Sports fans buy the merchandise. They buy tickets to games. But yet that is not deemed childish. So I think there’s a real issue around how society sees Disney. Is there’s a “sports adult”? Is there a “video game adult”? They’re the same fan practices.
I’m a feminist media scholar, so I’m often looking at media that women are engaging with, and you often see how anything to do with women’s media — a “chick flick” or a rom-com — can’t be taken seriously. And anything associated with children’s media is all kind of suctioned into this idea of being lowbrow. I don’t think that’s a way to categorize media. To go and see the theater one day, and then go to a Disney park, one is highbrow and one is lowbrow and that’s elitist. I’ve read Plato and Aristotle, but I know I’m going to have a better time at a Disney theme park, to be honest with you. I don’t live near a Disney park. If I were able to go to Disneyland every two weeks? What a dream that would be.
Paul Scheer
Paul Scheer.
(Photo illustration by Los Angeles Times; photograph by Luke Dellorso)
Actor, comedian, podcaster and author of “Joyful Recollections of Trauma,” which documents his formative memories of Disney theme parks
While I like the movies a lot, I don’t have a slavish devotion to them. I love these movies, but I’m a Disney parks adult. I love the parks.
There are days that I’ve gone to Disneyland, and I’ve sat on Main Street, on a bench or off in a little corner, and I just watch people. I watch people enjoying ice cream at 10 a.m. I watch families go by. You can see community. For most people who don’t live in L.A. or near a park, it’s expensive. It’s expensive even if you live in L.A. So it’s an important day. I grew up with this idea that if you go to church, you put on your nice clothes. Disney is like, “We’re going to have a good day.” Everyone brings their A-game.
I think it actually recharges your mind. You’re seeing an alternate world where people are happy, things are fun and everything is delicious. You can go and escape into this other alternate reality, which is jumping on a ride. I love Haunted Mansion. I love Pirates of the Caribbean. But I will say, [Star Wars:] Galaxy’s Edge is, in the grand scheme of what Disney does, one of the most amazing things. You’re transported into a different world. How did they do that? I’ve never felt like that. I walk into Galaxy’s Edge, and I’m like, “Am I at Disney anymore?”
When you are in your lowest moment or you’re with your friends, it can take you to another place — a place outside of the world you’re in.
— Paul Scheer
But in general, it’s a place that is safe, that is magical, and when you are in your lowest moment or you’re with your friends, it can take you to another place — a place outside of the world you’re in. There’s a reason I don’t like Six Flags as much. It’s an amusement park. A theme park, to me, you walk through the gates and you’re transported into a land of safety and comfort. I grew up in a household where I had an abusive stepfather, and one of the reasons I loved Disney with my dad was because it was truly an escape and a place I didn’t have to worry about anything else.
As an adult, I love bringing my kids there. They can run around and they’re not going to get hurt. There’s this safety of someone looking after you. A theme park, in the grand scheme of things, is a loving hug from a parent. It’s going to tell you a story, it’s going to feed you good food and it’s going to keep you safe, as long as you buckle your safety belt and pull down on the handlebars. It’s the personification of a hug from Nana.
Justin Sonfield
Justin Sonfield.
(Photo illustration by Los Angeles Times; photograph by Ethan Barber)
CEO of home furnishing company Jonathan Adler and “commanding officer” of the 501st Legion, a “Star Wars” costuming community
I am bullied consistently by [company founder] Jonathan Adler about why I go to Walt Disney World all the time. There’s definitely a thing. “You’re a Disney what?” “Oh, we’re Disney adults.” “So that means you never grew up?” No, that means we go back and enjoy these things as adults. It’s a mind-resetting wonderful thing. I would say most people around us don’t get it. But then we started meeting other Disney adults, and here we are going back more and more, but people don’t get it. And I understand why. On the outside looking in, Disney is a very expensive time.
And there is a perception that it is meant for kids, and if you are that much into Disney you are maybe missing some grown-up gene. I personally don’t believe any of that. Disney people and Disney adults are some of the best people we know, and I think the reason is because they have, in their minds, been able to let go of some of the grind. They can focus on some of the things that made them happy throughout their lives.
Disney people and Disney adults are some of the best people we know, and I think the reason is because they have, in their minds, been able to let go of some of the grind.
— Justin Sonfield
I’m one of those adults who never gave up play. I always thought that play was essential in my adult life. And there’s science to it. When you go to a corporate retreat, for example, and then all of a sudden you do the “trust game.” You’re going to work together as a team and problem solve. You will find that almost every single time everyone has a good time. It’s very hard to not find out more about co-workers and find out more about yourself in those type of situations. So when you have a theme park, and you’re giving yourself license to relax and play, there’s no question that it’s a positive effect.
How many times have you gone to Disney and seen a family having a day from hell? At the end of the day, they’re yelling at the kids and this and that. With Disney adults, there’s none of that. It’s just positive vibes. So it’s one hell of a reset. I have no idea why people would be against it other than the cost-prohibitive nature to it. There could be the connotation that you’re a little less mature, but honestly? I think it’s the exact opposite. It’s people that are truly in touch with who they are and just love it for what it is.
Lifestyle
N.F.L. Style Will Never Beat N.B.A. Style
You want to see some real fashion ingenuity? Watch the N.F.L. draft.
I’m not saying it’s all good, but where else are you going to see someone in a double-breasted suit made by a company better known for making yoga pants? Or an Abercrombie & Fitch suit jacket so short that it exposes the belt loops on the pants beneath?
On the whole, the style on display at the N.F.L. draft last night was very overeager senior formal: a lot of suits in colors beyond basic blue. The quarterback Ty Simpson wore a custom suit by the athleisure label Alo, which, I have to say, looked better than I would have envisioned had you said the words “Alo Yoga suit” to me.
I thought it might have been from Suitsupply, but the conspicuous “Alo” pin on his right lapel put that idea to rest. Simpson, smartly, unfastened that beacon before appearing onstage as the 13th pick to the Los Angeles Rams. He had, perhaps, satisfied his contractual obligations by that point.
Earlier in the evening, as the wide receiver Carnell Tate threw up his arms in exaltation after being picked fourth by the Tennessee Titans, his cropped Abercrombie & Fitch jacket revealed a swatch of rib cage. He looked like a mâitre d’ who had just hit the Mega Millions.
During the N.B.A.’s extended fashion awakening, its draft has become a sandbox for luxury brands to cozy up to would-be endorsers. The Frenchman Victor Wembanyama broke a kind of cashmere ceiling when he wore Louis Vuitton to go first overall in the 2023 N.B.A. draft.
The N.F.L. draft has none of that. The brands you see are often not brands at all, but custom tailors that reach the league’s neophytes through a whisper network among players. The draft is also a platform to raise the curtain on longer-term brand deals that better suit these rookies. We may, for instance, never see Simpson in a suit again. Nearly every photo from his time at Alabama shows him in a T-shirt or hoodie. It makes sense for him to sign with Alo.
Football is the most mainstream of American cultural entities. And it’s one that still hasn’t, in spite of the league’s best efforts, taken off overseas. Few players, save some quarterbacks and a tight end who happens to be engaged to a pop star, feel bigger than the game itself. If you’re a new-to-the-league linebacker, you’ll most likely never harness the star power to grab the attention of Armani, but you might have just the right pull for Abercrombie.
The N.F.L. draft is therefore one of the few red carpets where the brands worn by the athletes may also be worn by those watching at home. How many people watching the Oscars will ever own clothes from Louis Vuitton or Chanel? People may comment online about Lady Gaga wearing Matières Fécales to the Grammys, but how many of those fans and viewers could afford to buy clothes from it?
The Japanese designers changing fashion
Yesterday, I published a deep dive into how a newish crop of Japanese designers are soaking up all the attention in men’s fashion right now. This was a piece I was writing in my head long before I sat down and finally started typing. I remember sitting at a fashion show in Paris over a year ago — I believe it was Dior — and being asked by my seatmate if I’d made it over to a showroom in the Marais to check out A.Presse. That Tokyo-based brand is now part of a vanguard of Japanese labels that, on many days, seems to be all anyone in fashion wants to talk about. I spent months talking with designers, store owners and big-time shoppers to make sense of why these brands have kicked up so much buzz and, more than that, what makes their clothes so great. You can read the story here.
Other things worth knowing about:
Lifestyle
How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Tig Notaro
Thirty years ago, comedian and actor Tig Notaro didn’t have a clear direction in life, so she followed some childhood friends who wanted to get into entertainment to Los Angeles. Secretly wanting to do stand-up, Notaro decided to try her luck at various outlets in town, which became the start of her successful career.
“I stayed on my friends’ couch near the Hollywood Improv on Melrose, and a couple months later, got my own studio apartment in the Miracle Mile area,” Notaro says. “I love all the options for everything in L.A. — the entertainment, the restaurants. I like to stay active. So many people love the hiking options in Los Angeles, and I’m one of them.”
In Sunday Funday, L.A. people give us a play-by-play of their ideal Sunday around town. Find ideas and inspiration on where to go, what to eat and how to enjoy life on the weekends.
Notaro appears in Season 3 of Apple TV’s “The Morning Show” and is a series regular on Paramount+’s “Star Trek: Starfleet Academy,” as she was on “Star Trek: Discovery.” She’s also a touring stand-up comic and hosts “Handsome,” a comedy podcast, with Fortune Feimster and Mae Martin. The trio will be taping a live show May 4 at the Wiltern with the cast of Netflix’s “The Hunting Wives.” The live shows include interviews, but also “incorporate some ridiculous things,” she says. For example, upon hearing that some of the hosts always wanted to learn to tap dance, Notaro “hired a tap instructor to come to our live show in Austin and teach us how to tap dance in front of the audience.”
Notaro lives near Hollywood with her wife, actor Stephanie Allynne, their 9-year-old fraternal twin boys, Max and Finn, and three cats, Fluff, Linus and Skip. When she’s not touring, her ideal Sundays include sampling vegan restaurants, wandering through bookstores or museums, and doing something physically active with the family.
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for length and clarity.
6 a.m.: Up with the kids
Because we have active children, we still wake up at 6 a.m. or 6:30 a.m. on Sunday, but there’s not as much of a rush to get going. Stephanie and I will often have coffee and chat in the living room together. I love that part of the day. Stephanie may cook breakfast, but Max and Finn are pretty self-sufficient and can make certain little meals for themselves. Max is really starting to take an interest in cooking, so he’d make breakfast for himself. Our family is vegan, but he eats eggs, so he makes himself an egg sandwich with avocado a lot of times.
9 a.m.: Daily morning walk
After breakfast, we usually have a morning walk around our neighborhood. That’s a daily thing I like to do, regardless of what’s going on. Now that I’m not touring as much, tennis is back on the schedule. So I’d go to Plummer Park in West Hollywood and play for a while, then join the family for lunch.
11:30 a.m.: Hike with a side of chickpea sandwich
I love Trails, a cafe in Griffith Park, where you can eat outdoors. It serves simple food, and has good vegan options. I usually get their chickpea salad sandwich. The food there is great. Afterward, we’d visit Griffith Observatory, where there’s lots to see. There are lots of great trails in the park, so we’d go for an hour hike before leaving.
3 p.m.: Browse the shelves for rock biographies
Bookstores are fun, so we’d head downtown for the Last Bookstore, which is in a historic building with lots of vintage books. I really love all things plant-based, and I’m a very big music fanatic. So I love to look for vegan books, nutrition books, rock biographies and autobiographies. It’s just fun to browse around the stacks.
If we didn’t go to the bookstore, we’d probably go to LACMA. Our sons are huge fans of art and want to go for each new exhibit. They love Hockney, Basquiat and Picasso, to name a few.
4 p.m.: Cuddle with cuties at a cat cafe
We’d then make a quick stop at [Crumbs & Whiskers], a kitten and cat cafe on Melrose for coffee, snacks and to pet the cats. It’s best to make reservations in advance. There’s cats all around the place that need to be adopted. You can visit and pet them, or find a new roommate. I’d love to take some home, but we already have three.
5:30 p.m. Italian or sushi, but make it vegan
We’re an early dinner family. One restaurant we like is Pura Vita in West Hollywood. It’s the greatest vegan Italian food, and for non-vegans, nobody ever knows the difference. It’s the first 100% plant-based Italian restaurant in the United States. They make an incredible kale salad and I love the San Gennaro pizza. It’s got cashew mozzarella, tomato sauce, Italian sausage crumble and more.
Then there’s Planta in Marina del Rey. It’s right on the harbor and you can sit outside and look at the boats coming in and out. They have sushi, salads and other plant-based entrees. They’ve got a really great spicy tuna roll that’s made out of watermelon. They are magicians.
Or there’s Crossroads Kitchen in West Hollywood. They play the best classic rock, and the atmosphere is upscale, fine dining. The appetizers that we always get are called Moroccan Cigars, which are vegan meat substitutes fried in a rolled batter. I really like the grilled lion’s mane steak, their mushroom steak with truffle potatoes, or the scallopini Milanese, that has a chicken or tofu option. I get the chicken with arugula on top. I always love to have a decaf espresso with dessert, which is either a brownie sundae or banana pudding.
7:30 p.m.: Comfort watch or word games
After dinner, the kids often like to watch an episode of “Friends,” a show that all ages enjoy, sports or “The Simpsons.” Or we’d play a game where each of us will add a word to a sentence and create a weird or funny long sentence until one of our sons says period. Then they’ll try and remember the whole sentence and repeat it back.
9:30 p.m.: Bubble bath then bed
The boys usually go to bed at 8:30 p.m. and bedtime for us is 9:30 p.m. Stephanie and I would read or chat. I like to take a bubble bath, if people must know. The best Sundays for me mean finding a good balance of relaxing and being active. I feel very lucky that my family and I can do those things together.
Lifestyle
It Started with a Midnight Swim and a Kiss Under the Stars
When Marian Sherry Lurio and Jonathan Buffington Nguyen met at a mutual friend’s wedding at Higgins Lake, Mich., in July 2022, both felt an immediate chemistry. As the evening progressed, they sat on the shore of the lake in Adirondack chairs under the stars, where they had their first kiss before joining others for a midnight plunge.
The two learned that the following weekend Ms. Lurio planned to attend a wedding in Philadelphia, where Mr. Nguyen lives, and before they had even exchanged numbers, they already had a first date on the books.
“I have a vivid memory of after we first met,” Mr. Nguyen said, “just feeling like I really better not screw this up.”
Before long, they were commuting between Philadelphia and New York City, where Ms. Lurio lives, spending weekends and the odd remote work days in one another’s apartments in Philadelphia and Manhattan. Within the first six months of dating, Mr. Nguyen joined Ms. Lurio’s family for Thanksgiving in Villanova, Pa., and, the following month, she met his family in Beavercreek, Ohio, at a surprise birthday party for Mr. Nguyen’s mother.
Ms. Lurio, 32, who grew up in Merion Station outside Philadelphia, works in investor relations administration at Flexpoint Ford, a private equity firm. She graduated from Dartmouth College with a bachelor’s degree in history and psychology.
Mr. Nguyen, also 32, was born in Knoxville, Tenn., and raised in Beavercreek, Ohio, from the age of 7. He graduated from Haverford College with a bachelor’s degree in political science and is now a director at Doyle Real Estate Advisors in Philadelphia.
Their long-distance relationship continued for the next few years. There were dates in Manhattan, vacations and beach trips to the Jersey Shore. They attended sporting events and discovered their shared appreciation of the 2003 film, “Love Actually.”
One evening, Mr. Nguyen recalled looking around Ms. Lurio’s small New York studio — strewed with clothes and the takeout meal they had ordered — and feeling “so comfortable and safe.” “I knew that this was something different than just sort of a fling,” he said.
It was an open question when they would move in together. In 2024, Ms. Lurio began the process of moving into Mr. Nguyen’s home in Philadelphia — even bringing her cat, Scott — but her plans changed midway when an opportunity arose to expand her role with her current employer.
Mr. Nguyen was on board with her decision. “It almost feels like stolen valor to call it ‘long distance,’ because it’s so easy from Philadelphia to New York,” Mr. Nguyen said. “The joke is, it’s easier to get to Philly from New York than to get to some parts of Brooklyn from Manhattan, right?”
In January 2025, Mr. Nguyen visited Ms. Lurio in New York with more up his sleeve than spending the weekend. Together they had discussed marriage and bespoke rings, but when Mr. Nguyen left Ms. Lurio and an unfinished cheese plate at the bar of the Chelsea Hotel that Friday evening, she had no idea what was coming next.
“I remember texting Jonathan,” Ms. Lurio said, bewildered: “‘You didn’t go toward the bathroom!’” When a Lobby Bar server came and asked her to come outside, Ms. Lurio still didn’t realize what was happening until she was standing in the hallway, where Mr. Nguyen stood recreating a key moment from the film “Love Actually,” in which one character silently professes his love for another in writing by flashing a series of cue cards. There, in the storied Chelsea Hotel hallway still festooned with Christmas decorations, Mr. Nguyen shared his last card that said, “Will you marry me?”
They wed on April 11 in front of 200 guests at the Pump House, a covered space on the banks of Philadelphia’s Schuylkill River. Mr. Nguyen’s sister, the Rev. Elizabeth Nguyen, who is ordained through the Unitarian Universalist Association, officiated.
Although formal attire was suggested, Ms. Lurio said that the ceremony was “pretty casual.” She and Jonathan got ready together, and their families served as their wedding parties.
“I said I wanted a five-minute wedding,” Ms. Lurio recalled, though the ceremony ended up lasting a little longer than that. During the ceremony, Ms. Nguyen read a homily and jokingly added that guests should not ask the bride and groom about their living arrangements, which will remain separate for the foreseeable future.
While watching Ms. Lurio walk down the aisle, flanked by her parents, Mr. Nguyen said he remembered feeling at once grounded in the moment and also a sense of dazed joy: “Like, is this real? I felt very lucky in that moment — and also just excited for the party to start!”
-
Movie Reviews10 minutes ago‘Deep Water’ Review: Renny Harlin’s Double-Dip Disaster Movie — Plane Crash + Shark Thriller — Has His Signature Schlock Touch
-
World22 minutes agoKenyan Court Strikes Down Ruling Protecting Right to Abortion
-
News28 minutes agoRubio’s Absence From Iran Talks Highlights Stay-at-Home Role
-
Politics34 minutes agoKushner and Witkoff Traveling to Pakistan to Resume Iran Talks
-
Business40 minutes agoThe ‘Lasting Damage’ of Pirro’s Investigation of the Federal Reserve and Powell
-
Science46 minutes agoVideo: Scientists Solve ‘Golden Orb’ Mystery
-
Culture1 hour agoBooks Our Editors Loved This Week
-
Lifestyle1 hour agoN.F.L. Style Will Never Beat N.B.A. Style