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The worst video game ever made is back. But why?

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The worst video game ever made is back. But why?

From the arcades to the handhelds, mobile phones to home consoles, absolutely nothing could prepare the video game world for the unrivaled experience that is 1993’s “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” — a critically maligned game which, after a quiet rerelease last spring, is now getting a special edition rerelease on the long-defunct ’90s video game system Panasonic 3DO.

For the uninitiated, “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” was released as an “interactive romantic comedy” game meant for adults where, in a series of images with PowerPoint pacing, the player has to make “Choose Your Own Adventure”-style choices to help John, a struggling plumber on a bike, successfully woo Jane, a woman he meets in a parking lot as she’s en route to a job interview. What follows is a tale of corruption, Los Angeles action, narrator murder and a happily ever after — with plenty of raunchy ’90s shock humor along the way.

Released independently for the Windows PC and Panasonic’s aforementioned, relatively short-lived 3DO home console at a time before there were industry-wide ratings on games, this adults-only experience may have buried seeds in the minds of ’90s video game magazine readers, who perhaps encountered the scathing reviews in the July 1994 issue of PC Gamer (which gave the game a 3 out of 100 score and called it “the nadir of entertainment”), or who were vaguely intrigued by the title being the only video game for sale in the back-of-the-magazine catalogs with an “18+ only” warning.

While this style/genre of video game was known and embraced in Japan at this time as “visual novels,” the Americans behind “Plumbers” were unaware, and came to the same format through parallel thought. According to the Good Bad Flicks documentary on the game, which is included with the game’s new “Definitive Edition” release, “Plumbers” is the brainchild of Michael Anderson, who in the ’70s and ’80s was a pioneer in early forms of the internet and digital mapping. After he sold his digital mapping company in the ’80s, the lucrative buyout gave Anderson the time and money to — as he put it —“get into trouble.” This was a time where there was interest in “interactive movies,” and given the thrills he found at previous bleeding edges of technology, he explored what it would take to give a cost-effective romantic comedy audience-dictated movie experience a go.

Since full-motion video games weren’t quite at the crisp visual quality for home consoles with modern CD-ROM limitations, Anderson approached making the game as a frame-by-frame experiment. He’d approach potential actors in person, including Jeanne Basone — a face familiar to wrestling fans as “Hollywood” from the original “GLOW: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.”

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Basone told The Times that filming was “like shooting a movie you shoot out of sequence, so honestly, if you’ve ever been on a set you understand, you just need to trust your producer and director and that’s just what we did. Plus we had a whole lotta fun shooting it and being on location.” While the guerrilla-style filmmaking around Los Angeles landmarks may have not quite translated the on-set fun to players in 1994, it does look like they were having a blast at time time, perhaps giving the game a bit more charm 30 years later.

That charm is something the Limited Run Games team behind “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition” hoped to maximize while fashioning the game’s resurrection. LRG co-founder and CEO Josh Fairhurst went through the effort to not only track down the “Plumbers” rights holder, but purchase the IP to help make it happen.

“As one of the worst games of all time, we wanted to explore what led to its existence and why it is important,” Fairhurst told The Times, adding “I always value being as authentic as possible to the original experience. With ‘Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition,’ we did our best to not mess with the core game. It’s supposed to be bad, so we didn’t want to try and make it good. I felt like that would miss the point. Instead, we faithfully cleaned up and restored the game’s images, did our best to repair the audio without overriding the tinny low-budget charm, and surrounded the game with documentary footage, commentary, and extra features that do their best to contextualize it.”

The restorers of “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” had a philosophy: “It’s supposed to be bad, so we didn’t want to try and make it good.”

(Courtesy of Limited Run Games)

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One of the new “Definitive Edition” producer/developers Joe Modzeleski felt a full range of emotions in the early stages of development. He told The Times, “It was funny … but it wasn’t long after that, the thoughts started to be, ‘Oh, this is going to be difficult’ because there is nothing compelling to sell here and we have to make a profit.”

Compared to Limited Run Games’ previous remastered ’90s video game cult classics like the controversial “Night Trap” and “Corpse Killer,” this wasn’t a game that could be sold on gameplay. Fellow producer/developer Audi Sorlie also told The Times there was a real ground-up challenge in bringing back “Plumbers” with its proper elements as well. “Nothing really survived of this stuff. It was a weird throwaway project in the ’90s. No one is going to keep any of that. This is a problem throughout the entire video game industry, most of the stuff that was done prior to 2005 didn’t get archived so it’s hard for any project to nail down this stuff. And for ‘Plumbers’ even more so as this was this small project in California.”

Sorlie had to work on the game’s extensive trained AI upscaling, an undertaking that involved taking the game’s 890 images, all 640 x 480 indexed at 256 colors, and bring them to 4K quality — of which the reading and rebuilding combined took a year of compositing and by-hand touch-ups.

So, why put all this effort into something seemingly every video game player would consider objectively bad? Perhaps it’s the fan base, of whom the vast majority likely hasn’t pushed a single button on a “Plumbers” menu before this year. Yes, there’s a “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties” following, largely thanks to the second life the game has had as an internet meme. In the summer of 2009, longtime YouTube personality James Rolfe dedicated an episode of his series “Angry Video Game Nerd” to “Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties,” giving perhaps the first widespread video capture of its gameplay and trademark sleazy absurdity to the world.

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Instantly becoming one of his most popular episodes, today his 2011 upload has over 9 million views and has spawned numerous other reviews and revisitations across all corners of the so-bad-it’s-good video game fandom. A factory-sealed copy of the original 3DO game sold on eBay last year for $600. The one known existing copy of the PC version was tracked down at Ball State University in 2017, and its subsequent software upload to the internet is considered a triumph of lost media discovery.

Whether you consider the prospective players “fans” or just curious, there’s a proven legacy of “Plumbers” whose presence, whether as an intriguing of-its-time experiment or just the absolute worst of the worst, can have a strong argument for preservation.

Fairhurst describes the need for it as, “We frequently get remasters and rereleases of the best games of all time, but rarely does anyone spend their time and resources on the worst. As odd as this seems to say, I think the worst games of all time are just as historically significant as the best. We should be researching these and examining why they were bad, what made them exist, and how they were received culturally,” adding “I think people will always remember ‘Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties’ and want to experience it in the same way film enthusiasts still view and discuss ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space.’ Bad games draw our curiosity and I think there’s something to that. It’s been an honor to get to bring this game back, and I hope that people enjoy getting to experience it.”

A plumber squares off with a man in a tie.

The CEO of Limited Run Games, which is behind the rerelease, says, “I think the worst games of all time are just as historically significant as the best.”

(Courtesy of Limited Run Games)

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This new experience is giving “Plumbers” its biggest public boost ever. To promote the game’s release, Basone appeared at Boston gaming convention PAX East to meet the legions of old and new “Plumbers” fans. Basone told The Times, “I couldn’t wait to dive back in and make something that was being updated for what I thought was lost long ago, and will be on all game platforms today. I am proud of everybody who worked on it in 1993, and so happy Limited Run Games decided to release this updated version.” Given that LRG now owns the Plumbers IP, the question of a possible sequel seems more possible now than ever. However, when asked, Modzeleski laughed and said “Well, yeah, but don’t encourage that!” with Sorlie adding “Have you played this game?”

Movie Reviews

MOVIE REVIEWS: “Mercy,” “Return to Silent Hill,” “Sentimental Value” & “In Cold Light” – Valdosta Daily Times

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MOVIE REVIEWS: “Mercy,” “Return to Silent Hill,” “Sentimental Value” & “In Cold Light” – Valdosta Daily Times

“Mercy”

(Thriller/Crime: 1 hour, 39 minutes)

Starring: Chris Pratt, Rebecca Ferguson, Kali Reis

Director: Timur Bekmambetov

Rated: PG-13 (Violence, bloody images, strong language, drug content and teen smoking)

Movie Review:

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“Mercy” is a science fiction movie based on one of the more common themes of moviedom lately, artificial intelligence (AI). This crime thriller cleverly creates an intriguing story using technology and the justice system, yet it fails to be consistently interesting and intelligent throughout. The conclusion is less significant than the initial setup, as the concluding scenes become typical action sequences.

Detective Chris Raven (Pratt) of the LA Police Department is a huge supporter of the city’s new judicial courtroom. Crimes are now judged by an AI program (Ferguson) in the Mercy Court. The court is run by an artificial program that makes decisions based on all of the evidence before it without any prejudice. Detective Raven is all for this system until he is convicted of killing his wife. Now he must use all of the data, including the AI‘s ability to tap into everyone’s electronic devices, security cameras, and even into government files, within reason, to prove he did not murder his wife.

Mercy is an interesting movie. It entertains throughout, even when the story gets sloppy and characters’ actions are irrational. This mainly occurs during the final scenes. The movie tries too hard to insert unneeded narrative twists. This is disappointing because the story is interesting. What makes it fascinating is that it happens in real time. This is the most brilliant facet.

All the other theatrics are unnecessary. Director Timur Bekmambetov (“Profile,” 2018; “Wanted,” 2008) and “Mercy’s” producers should have just kept the ending simple, no plot twists or superfluous action sequences.
Grade: C (This flick needs some mercy. Let the trial begin.)

“Return to Silent Hill”

(Horror: 1 hour, 46 minutes)

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Starring: Jeremy Irvine, Hannah Emily Anderson and Robert Strange

Director: Christophe Gans

Rated: R (Bloody violent content, strong language and brief drug use.)

Movie Review:

“Return to Silent Hill” is about one man’s quest to return to the love of his life. The problem is she has moved on to the afterlife. Meanwhile, audiences lose part of their life watching this movie, which is unlike any of the two prequels in this series. This one is a psychological horror that bores.

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Artist James Sunderland (Irvine) decides to return to Silent Hill, a place where many people died during a devastating illness that nearly enveloped the entirety of the city’s population. What is left there is a horror show of freakish creatures, all with violent intent. Still, Sunderland searches for the love of his life, Mary Crane (Anderson).

Think of this movie as a slow suicide, where a guy goes back to retrieve his dead girlfriend. To do so, he must travel to the modern land of the dead that Silent Hill has become. This one is a type of swan song by the main character, and the movie becomes less scary while lackluster romantic notions wander aimlessly.

Grade: D (Do not return to see this.)

“Sentimental Value”

(Drama: 2 hours, 13 minutes)

Starring: Renate Reinsve, Stellan Skarsgård, Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas and Elle Fanning

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Director: Joachim Trier

Rated: R (Language, sexual reference, nudity and thematic elements)

Movie Review:

“Sentimental Value” is a Norwegian film that won the Grand Prix in France’s Cannes Film Festival and was nominated for nine Academy Awards, including Best Motion Picture. It is a solid drama filled with symbolism and family connections. It is brilliant performances by a talented cast under the direction of Joachim Trier (“The Worst Person in the World,” 2021).

This screenplay is about Gustav Borg (Skarsgård). He is a father, grandfather and a famed film director. He stayed away from his two daughters, actress Nora Borgwhile (Reinsve) and historian Agnes Borg Pettersen (Lilleaas), while he was creating works as a filmmaker. The director comes back into the lives of his daughters after the death of their mother. Their reunion leads to a rediscovery of their bond at their family home in Oslo.

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Stellan Skarsgård is always a solid actor. He takes his roles and makes them tangible characters that seem like you know them, even when they’re speaking a foreign language. That is the quality of his act and why he gets nominated for multiple awards each season.

“Sentimental Value” is a valuable movie filled with enriching sentiment. It is an enjoyable film for those who value a good drama. The acting and original writing alone make the movie worth it. “Sentimental Value” starts in a very simple way, but everything in between, even when low-key, remains potent. Joachim Trier and writer Eskil Vogt have worked together on multiple projects such as “The Worst Person in the World” (2021). Their pairing is once again worthy.

Grade: A- (Any motive valuable movie.)

“In Cold Light ”

(Crime: 1 hour , 36 minutes)

Starring: Maika Monroe, Allan Hawco and Troy Kotsur

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Director: Maxime Giroux

Rated: R (Violence, bloody images, strong language and drug material)

Movie Review:

“In Cold Light” sticks to a very straightforward story, primarily taking place over a short period. The problem is the story leaves one in the cold. Audiences have to guess what is being communicated because this movie uses American Sign Language (ASL) without subtitles. For those moviegoers who do not know ASL, they are left deciphering characters’ actions and facial expressions during some pivotal scenes.

Ava Bly (Monroe) attempts to start a legit life after prison. Her life changes when Ava’s twin, Tom Bly (Jesse Irving) is murdered while seated next to her. As her brother’s killers pursue her, Ava must evade law enforcement, which contains some crooked cops led by Bob Whyte (Hawco).

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For a brief moment, this movie hits its exceptional moment when Oscar-recipient Helen Hunt enters the picture as a motherly Claire, a crime boss who seems more like a social worker/psychologist. Her long scene is wasted as it arrives too late.

French Canadian director Maxime Giroux’s style has potential in his first English-language film, but it does not fit a wayward narrative. A rarity, this crime drama has characters commit many dumb actions at once.

Moreover, Giroux (“Félix et Meira,” 2014) and writer Patrick Whistler forget to let their audiences in on their story. They allow much to get lost in translation, especially during heated conversations between Monroe’s Ava and her father, Will Bly, played by Academy Award-winning actor Troy Kotsur (“CODA,” 2021).

Grade: C- (Just cold and dark.)

More movie reviews online at www.valdostadailytimes.com.

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Paramount-Warner Bros. deal stirs fears about what it means for CNN

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Paramount-Warner Bros. deal stirs fears about what it means for CNN

As the media industry took stock of Paramount Skydance’s startling acquisition of Warner Bros. Discovery, one question lingered on the minds of many in the news business and beyond: What will this mean for CNN?

The iconic 24-hour cable news network is among the various Warner Bros. assets that would be scooped up by Paramount in a deal announced Thursday that could transform the media landscape.

Paramount has undergone a swift transformation under Chief Executive David Ellison following his family’s acquisition of the company last summer. These changes reached CBS News almost immediately with the appointment of Bari Weiss, the controversial Free Press co-founder, as its new editor in chief.

Bari Weiss moderated a town hall with Erika Kirk, widow of slain conservative activist Charlie Kirk.

(CBS via Getty Images)

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Weiss’ tenure so far has been rocky.

Her decision to pull a “60 Minutes” story about conditions inside an El Salvador prison that housed undocumented Venezuelan migrants from the U.S. received widespread criticism and accusations of political motivation. The network said the story was held for more reporting, and the segment eventually aired.

There was more upheaval last week at the news magazine, when “60 Minutes” correspondent and CNN news anchor Anderson Cooper announced that he’d be leaving to spend more time with his family.

And earlier this year, a veteran producer at “CBS Evening News With Tony Dokoupil” was fired after he expressed disagreement about the editorial direction of the newscast.

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Now, the concern is that similar changes could be in store for CNN, which has long been a target of President Trump’s ire. He has personally called for the ouster of hosts at the network who have questioned his policies.

CNN Worldwide Chief Executive Mark Thompson tried to quell some of those fears, particularly inside his own newsroom.

In an internal memo dated Thursday and obtained by The Times, Thompson urged employees not to “jump to conclusions about the future” and try to concentrate on their work.

“We’re still near the start of what is already an incredibly newsy year at home and abroad,” he wrote in the note. “Let’s continue to focus on delivering the best possible journalism to the millions of people who rely on us all around the world.”

Chairman and CEO of CNN Worldwide Mark Thompson and media editor for Semafor, Maxwell Tani, speak onstage.

Chairman and CEO of CNN Worldwide Mark Thompson and media editor for Semafor, Maxwell Tani, speak onstage.

(Shannon Finney / Getty Images for Semafor)

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CNN declined to comment beyond Thompson’s memo.

Ellison has said his vision for a news business is one that is ideologically down the middle.

“We want to build a scaled news service that is basically, fundamentally in the trust business, that is in the truth business, and that speaks to the 70% of Americans that are in the middle,” he said during a Dec. 8 interview on CNBC, shortly after Warner said it had chosen Netflix as the winning bidder for its studios, HBO and HBO Max. “And we believe that by doing so that is for us, kind of doing well, while doing good.”

Ellison demurred when asked whether Trump would embrace him as CNN’s owner, given the president’s past criticisms of the network.

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“We’ve had great conversations with the president about this, but … I don’t want to speak for him in any way, shape or form,” he said.

First Amendment scholars have raised concerns about press freedom and free speech rights under the Trump administration, particularly after last month’s arrest of former CNN journalist Don Lemon and the Federal Communications Commission’s pressure on late-night hosts like Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert.

Press freedom groups have long asked questions in other countries about how authoritarian regimes use their power and “oligarchical alliances to belittle, silence, and punish independent journalistic voices, or to steer media ownership toward … a preferred version of the truth,” said RonNell Andersen Jones, a 1st Amendment scholar and distinguished professor in the college of law at the University of Utah, in an email.

“We see them asking at least some of these questions about the U.S. today,” she wrote.

Apprehension about the merger also extends beyond its implications for CNN and the media business.

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Lawmakers such as Rep. Laura Friedman (D-Glendale), Sen. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) and Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) have raised concerns about how the consolidation of two major Hollywood studios could affect industry jobs and film and television production — which has significantly slowed since the pandemic, the dual writers’ and actors’ strikes in 2023 and corporate cutbacks in spending.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) called the deal an “antitrust disaster” that she feared could raise prices and limit choices for consumers.

“With the cloud of corruption looming over Trump’s Department of Justice, it’ll be up to the American people to speak up and state attorneys general to enforce the law,” she said in a statement.

Already, California Atty. Gen. Rob Bonta has said the merger isn’t a “done deal,” adding that he is in communication with other states attorneys general about the issue.

“As the epicenter of the entertainment industry, California has a special interest in protecting competition,” he posted Friday on X.

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The deal is subject to approval by the U.S. Justice Department. Bonta and other state attorneys general are expected to file a legal challenge to the mega-merger on antitrust grounds.

Ellison addressed some of these concerns in a statement Friday.

“By bringing together these world-class studios, our complementary streaming platforms, and the extraordinary talent behind them, we will create even greater value for audiences, partners and shareholders,” he said. “We couldn’t be more excited for what’s ahead.”

Times staff writer Meg James contributed to this report.

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Movie Review: ‘Goat’ – Catholic Review

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Movie Review: ‘Goat’ – Catholic Review

NEW YORK (OSV News) – “Goat” (Sony) is an animated underdog sports comedy populated by anthropomorphized animals. While mostly inoffensive, and thus suitable for a wide audience — including teens and older kids — the film is also easily forgotten.

The amiable proceedings center on teen goat Will Harris (voice of Caleb McLaughlin). As opening scenes show, it has been Will’s dream since childhood to play for his hometown team, the Vineland Thorns.

The inhabitants of Vineland and the other areas of the movie’s world, however, are divided into so-called bigs and smalls, with professional competition dominated, unsurprisingly, by the former. Though Will stoutly maintains that he’s a medium, those around him regard him as too slight and diminutive to go up against the towering bigs.

Despite this prejudice, a video showing Will more or less holding his own against a famous and arrogant big, Andalusian horse Mane Attraction (voice of Aaron Pierre), goes viral and inspires the Thorns’ devious owner, warthog Flo Everson (voiced by Jenifer Lewis), to give the lad a shot. Though Will is understandably thrilled, his path forward proves challenging.

Will has idolized the Thorns’ sole outstanding player, black panther Jett Fillmore (voice of Gabrielle Union), since he was a youngster. But Jett, it turns out, is not only frustrated by her situation as a star among misfits but scornful of Will’s ambitions and resolute in helping to deprive her new teammate of playing time.

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Given such divisions, the Thorns’ fortunes seem destined to continue their long decline.

“Roarball,” the invented game featured in director Tyree Dillihay’s film, is essentially co-ed basketball by another name. As produced by, among others, NBA champion Stephen Curry, the movie — adapted from an idea in Chris Tougas’ book “Funky Dunks” — is an unabashed celebration of hoop culture both on and off the court.

Viewers’ enthusiasm may vary, accordingly, depending on the degree to which they’re invested in the real-life sport.

Moviegoers of every stripe will appreciate the fact that the script, penned by Aaron Buchsbaum and Teddy Riley, shows the negative effects of self-centeredness as well as the value of teamwork and fan support. Plot developments also showcase forgiveness and reconciliation.

Will’s story is, nonetheless, thoroughly formulaic and most of the screenplay’s jokes feel strained and laborious. Still, while hardly qualifying as the Greatest of All Time, “Goat” does provide passable entertainment with little besides a few potty gags to concern parents.

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The film contains brief scatological humor and at least one vaguely crass term. The OSV News classification is A-II — adults and adolescents. The Motion Picture Association rating is PG — parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.

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