Sophia Bush finally feels like she can breathe after coming out as queer and opening up about her long-rumored relationship with soccer star Ashlyn Harris.

“When I take stock of the last few years, I can tell you that I have never operated out of more integrity in my life. I hope that’s clear enough for everyone speculating out there,” the “One Tree Hill” alum wrote Thursday in an essay for the April issue of Glamour.

The 41-year-old detailed how her one-year marriage to Grant Hughes felt phony and fell apart amid her grueling fertility issues. She also explained how her recovery from that relationship led her to Harris, who simultaneously had been going through her own divorce from former teammate Ali Krieger.

Bush wrote that after her storybook wedding — which she doesn’t regret — she found herself “in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process.” She kept all that private as she endured months of ultrasounds, hormone shots, blood draws that led to scar tissue in her veins and numerous egg retrievals, “while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.”

The “Work in Progress” and “Drama Queens” podcast host said she felt something in her “seismically shift” about six months into that journey and “knew deep down that I absolutely had made a mistake,” ultimately filing for divorce after about 13 months of marriage. Her separation from Hughes, an entrepreneur and real estate investor, saw Bush moving to London “to get out of our house” and doing a play to “jump-start the joy” she had been chasing. (She withdrew from “2:22 A Ghost Story” in July 2023 due to illness.)

The “Love, Victor” and “Chicago P.D.” actor moved back to her empty home in L.A. last summer and said that an ever-expanding group of women in her life started opening up about their own issues. That group included the “kind ear” of the U.S. Women’s National Team goalkeeper, whom she’d first met in 2019. She didn’t expect to find love there.

“I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option.”

It took other people in their “safe support bubble” to point out to Bush that she and Harris would finish each other’s sentences or be deeply affected by the same things, she wrote.

Reports about the couple’s romance surfaced in October, months after they each filed for divorce. The “One Tree Hill” alum and the U.S. Women’s National Team goalkeeper reportedly went out on their first dinner date a couple of weeks prior, People reported at the time, and TMZ asserted that they were “officially a thing.”

In her essay, Bush shed light on that purported first date, which she described as a 4½-hour meal that was “truly one of the most surreal experiences of my life thus far.”

“I do know that for a sparkly moment I felt like maybe the universe had been conspiring for me,” she wrote. But navigating the judgment she felt in the public eye was disheartening.

“The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women — my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!),” she wrote, noting that she didn’t leave her marriage because of some random rendezvous but rather after a year of “doing the most soul-crushing work of my life.”

Bush also fawned over her partner‘s integrity and love for her children.
As for her identity, the life-long LGBTQIA+ ally described feeling at home with the queer community.

“I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer,” she wrote. “I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”