Connect with us

Movie Reviews

Stream It Or Skip It: ‘The Super Mario Bros. Movie’ on Netflix, a Perfectly Fine Family Movie Further Proving That IP is King

Published

on

Stream It Or Skip It: ‘The Super Mario Bros. Movie’ on Netflix, a Perfectly Fine Family Movie Further Proving That IP is King

It’s-a here: The Super Mario Bros. Movie is watchable at home (now streaming on Netflix, in addition to streaming on VOD services like Amazon Prime Video), officially and legally now, after it leaked on Twitter during the spring of 2023. Whoops? Either way, it didn’t eat too much into the film’s box office take, which currently stands at $1.3 billion-with-a-B internationally, a number that implies many things, including but not limited to, the following: 1. STUDIOS NEED TO RELEASE MORE FAMILY-ORIENTED FILMS THEATRICALLY, all caps necessary, because TSMBM’s popularity not only reflects the power of Mario IP, but a pent-up audience that didn’t have a reason to go to the movies for what felt like eons (the previous kid-friendly release was Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, which debuted more than four months prior). 2. Wow, 1993’s live-action Super Mario Bros. looks extra-terrible now. And 3. Nothing’s official yet, but in the wake of such major international success, I’d wager my life savings that Universal already has greenlit 2 Mario 2 Bros., King Boo: Electric Boogaloo, Donkey Kong Hits the Bong (with Seth Rogen reprising the voice role, and writing and directing of course), Yoshi’s Revenge, Princess Peach and the Legend of Curly’s Gold, The Mario Kart Movie, Mario Kart 2: Cruise Control, Mario Kart Meets Paul Blart, Mario Kart: Dark Land Drift, The Super Smash Bros. Movie, Super Smash Bros.: The Quest for Peace and The Amityville ? Block, just for starters. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, and stick to reviewing a completely unreviewable movie.   

The Gist: We get the ball rolling in another world or dimension or something, where we meet Bowser (Jack Black), a very large imperialist turtle who enslaves a race of small penguins and conquers/destroys their icy lands. And then he finds a ? box and smashes it and takes control of the super star inside of it, which is this movie’s MacGuffin. CUT TO: Modern-day Brooklyn, where plumber brothers Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) have just launched their own business with a TV commercial that makes the Ghostbusters’ ad look like La Dolce Vita. But it works, because they get their first call and rush out to fix the leak, their side-scrolling journey accompanied by Slayer guitarist Kerry King’s shredding guest solo on the Beastie Boys’ “No Sleep Till Brooklyn,” proof that what was edgy and cool several decades ago will eventually be tamed by the pop-cultural blandification machine and assimilated into the deathless nostalgia borg (and pad the musical artists’ bank accounts with “passive income”). Not only do our guys wrestle with persnickety pipes, but they have an encounter with an aggressive dog, a sequence that has nothing to do with anything whatsoever, but hey, at least we have something amusing to look at, with the bright colors and goofy characters and zany action, right? 

Then Mario and Luigi go home. They’re two adult men still living with their parents, and everyone doubts their ability to maintain reasonable self-employment. Here, we learn that Mario thinks mushrooms are yucky, and won’t eat them, which is what you call an inside joke. Suddenly, an opportunity for our boys to prove themselves pops up when a Brooklyn water main breaks and they rush off to help – but they end up being sucked into a magic pipe and deposited into a strange world chock-full of spinoff-able intellectual property. Luigi finds himself in the Dark Land, where Bowser’s minions scoop him up and imprison him. Mario drops into the Mushroom Kingdom, where he meets a little weird guy named Toad (Keegan-Michael Key), who takes him to his leader, Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), who’s shocked to see another human in… what exactly is this place called, anyway? Mario World? It can’t be, not yet, because I’ve just realized this movie is, insert deep sigh here, an Origin Story.

I digress. Mario wants to find Luigi, which dovetails with Peach’s desire to vanquish Bowser before he lays waste to the peaceful and benign Mushroom Kingdom. But first, she has to train Mario in the art of platform gaming, which involves leaping on little blocks and ducking under things that wallop you and busting ? blocks that give you extra powers, and all that. She zooms through the training course – in heels, even! – lickety-split, while Mario trial-and-errors his way through it, failing and starting over and failing and starting over and failing and starting over like he’s in a… a… what do you call it… time loop? Is that right? Maybe not. Anyway, before they face Bowser, Peach determines that they need to get help from the Kongs, a conglomeration of apes who include Cranky (Fred Armisen), Donkey (Seth Rogen) and Diddy, although the latter only makes a brief cameo and is probably being saved for the sequel. And then comes the Super Smash Bros. part, and then the Mario Kart part, and then the big boss battle, which occurs during Bowser’s attempt to force Peach into marrying him. Meanwhile, where the hell is Yoshi? I could answer that but, you know, NO SPOILERS.

Super Mario Bros. poster
Photo: Nintendo

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Is it sacrilege to say Wreck-It Ralph? Kind of. It’s definitely sacrilege to say Wreck-It Ralph is the better movie, but the truth cares not for context. 

Performance Worth Watching Hearing: Let’s just say Jack Black is the only feasible casting choice when the character is a version of Bowser who likes to sit at the piano and channel his inner Elton (or Kate Bush?).  

Advertisement

Memorable Dialogue: Praising the Mario Bros.’ TV ad, Luigi makes a probably unintentional thou-dost-protest-too-much meta-joke about the movie itself: “That is not a commercial. That. Is. Cinema!”

Sex and Skin: None.

Our Take: Allow me to push past the Mario Movie’s obvious crowd-pleasing nature and cheery escapism for some typical film-critic pedantry: This thing feels like it was written by a calculator. It’s less a screenplay and more of a loose outline, a list of inter-franchise references strung together by the flimsiest of plots and hits-of-the-’80s needle drops: There’s a nod to an old TV cartoon, there’s a recognizable character making a cameo, there’s ‘Holding Out for a Hero,’ there’s some action inspired by one of the video games, and hey is that Seth Rogen’s voice I hear? It dashes along lickety-split and only slows down for a brief intermission in which Black-as-Bowser-but-mostly-as-Black croons a torch song for Princess Peach, which is one of the movie’s rare moments of inspired comedy. It’s all so transparently mechanical in its structure. And that’s the issue with longstanding franchises-slash-intellectual property – it once was the product of inspiration, now it’s just a product. 

But it’s easy to be of two minds about the movie, because it’s lively, expertly animated, energetic, lightly amusing and modestly ambitious. If there’s anything resembling a message here, maybe it’s the portrait of Mario as a man of perseverance (although you’ve already learned that lesson if you’ve been tempted to wing your $80 joy-con through the window after being killed by Bouldergeist for the 116th time in a row.) Nobody’s trying to change the world here, or invoke the tragedy of the human condition. It’s not Pixar, it’s the company behind Minions delivering a bullseye for eight-year-olds who will giggle and whoop for 92 minutes, then go home, snug their plush Shy Guy in the crick of their arm, pick up the Nintendo controller and launch a campaign to spend $60 of their parents’ money for a new game. It’s perfectly fine with adhering to the relentless-joke-factory-with-celeb-voices formula, and executing it for maximum appeal. As for the “controversy” over Pratt voicing Mario – did you really want to hear an obnoxious faux-Italian stereotype voice IT’S-A-ME!-ing in your face for 92 minutes? That was the smartest calculation of all.

Advertisement

Our Call: STREAM IT. The Super Mario Bros. Movie is entirely acceptable family entertainment. It also leaves plenty of room for improvement when the inevitable sequels, spinoffs and series are launched in a quest for the next billion dollars.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. 

Continue Reading
Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Movie Reviews

‘Minecraft’ Movie Reviews Are In, And A Billion Dollar Haul Is Nigh

Published

on

‘Minecraft’ Movie Reviews Are In, And A Billion Dollar Haul Is Nigh

I’m not sure I’ve seen worse trailers than the spots that have aired for A Minecraft Movie, the live-action hybrid of the famed video game starring Jack Black and Jason Momoa. Now, reviews are in for what looked like a likely disaster of a movie and they are…honestly, better than expected.

No, the Minecraft movie did not reach “fresh” among critics, but it does have a 53% score, a coinflip over which critics liked it and which did not. The trailer told me it didn’t look like a movie that would grab above a 20%, but there is reportedly chemistry between Black and Momoa, a great Jennifer Coolidge subplot, and there are enough fun integrations with the game to be enjoyable, bad greenscreens or otherwise.

Why do I believe that Minecraft is headed toward a billion dollar haul at the box office despite middling reviews? Two main reasons:

  • This is Minecraft, we’re talking about, the literal best-selling game in the history of time, moving an estimated 300 million units since its debut in 2011, becoming a childhood staple of million of kids across the world as they’ve grown up, and it remains hugely popular to this day. And Minecraft fans are not picking apart the quality of greenscreens in a trailer. They see their beloved world, they see Jack Black being silly, they see Jason Momoa in a funny outfit and that’s enough. Reportedly, estimates have opening weekend at $135 million to $150 million globally on a $150 million budget.
  • Second, this is almost exactly what happened with The Super Mario Bros. Movie. The animated feature that had a close to identical 59% critic scores, but a stellar 95% audience score among fans who were always going to love the (admittedly somewhat average) movie no matter what. Super Mario Bros. went on to earn $1.3 billion globally. While Mario is a massive video game icon, do not underestimate how iconic Minecraft itself is among a certain generation (or two). I doubt that Minecraft will top Mario Bros., but can it hit a billion dollars? My guess is yes.

There are just some things that movie critics and snobbier viewers don’t “get,” and much of the time, that has been video game adaptations that are beloved by either core gamers or young audiences that are allowed to be just “okay”.” I’m also reminded of the $291 million that Five Nights at Freddy’s earned on an impossibly small budget. This happens more often than you think, and I think we are definitely on the way to this happening with Minecraft, and of course, that will mean sequels are in tow.

Follow me on Twitter, YouTube, Bluesky and Instagram.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Movie Reviews

A Minecraft Movie (2025) – Movie Review

Published

on

A Minecraft Movie (2025) – Movie Review

A Minecraft Movie, 2025.

Directed by Jared Hess.
Starring Jason Momoa, Jack Black, Danielle Brooks, Emma Myers, Sebastian Hansen, Jennifer Coolidge, Rachel House, Matt Berry, Kate McKinnon, Jemaine Clement, Valkyrae, Jared Hess, and Jens Bergensten.

SYNOPSIS:

Four misfits are suddenly pulled through a mysterious portal into a bizarre, cubic wonderland that thrives on imagination. To get back home, they’ll have to master this world while embarking on a quest with an unexpected, expert crafter.

Advertisement

Sometime after siblings Henry (Sebastian Hansen) and Natalie (Emma Myers) inadvertently discover the Overworld, where everything from buildings to environments to animals to food to other random objects are block-shaped, the former uses his child genius creativity to instantly start building elaborate constructions, as one does in the mostly plotless, sandbox video game Minecraft, but his sister struggles. She criticizes him for being a regular screwup in the real world (a heat-of-the-moment outburst she immediately regrets) while proclaiming that none of this makes any sense. Her character practically feels like a vessel for those of us coming into director Jared Hess’ A Minecraft Movie with minimal exposure.

However, despite never having played the game, I know one thing through cultural osmosis: it is intended to encourage and foster creativity in children and teenagers, which Jared Hess understands. That’s not to say the movie is any good, but “getting it” is a rarity regarding video game adaptations. It’s wonderful that this is an adaptation in conversation with not only why the games are popular, but that parents (in the case of this film, a slightly older sister looking after her younger brother while still grieving the loss of their mother) wrongfully assume that it’s a waste of time and rotting their brains, failing to realize that the game is entirely built on imagination and whatever the player wants it to be.

The punishment of removing or deleting a child’s Minecraft world is admittedly an over-the-top punishment that not only refuses to engage with the game itself but also with what they are getting from the world-building experience. It’s an instant, permanent removal of something unique, most likely impossible to duplicate. Hence, the shattering feeling of losing an entire world. Sure, it’s digital, but was lovingly put together by a human.

Jared Hess unfortunately doesn’t necessarily get to do much with this, as one imagines a gun held to he and his overcrowded screenwriting team’s (Chris Bowman, Hubbel Palmer, Neil Widener, Gavin James, and Chris Galletta) heads forcing them to shove Easter eggs and references down viewers’ throats in every single CGI, green-screened to hell and back image. This is mainly done through Jack Black portraying Steve, the default avatar from the game’s original launch (in games like these, players are encouraged to customize and project their personality onto the character), which obnoxiously amounts to that star playing himself, shouting out locations, objects, and enemy types with the demented energy of someone who just got done chugging five Red Bulls and is yelling all of this into your ear at 7 AM on a Monday when your alarm for work has gone off.

Perhaps that sounds like a hypercritical complaint after acknowledging an individual’s identity is meant to be grafted onto the avatar, but Jack Black is insufferable here. This is an embarrassing use of star power, serving as nothing more than a means to get a cheap pop out of the fans, which is especially fitting terminology since there is a scene that takes place in a wrestling ring. Everyone else will likely sit there dumbfounded. Surprisingly, they won’t necessarily be confused (most items, gear, and tools are self-explanatory), but speechless at the excessive depths of fan service. At the same time, a couple of interesting characters and ideas are ignored.

Advertisement

Other characters include Jason Momoa’s real-world faded superstar legendary arcade gamer Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison, a cocky dimwit facing foreclosure on his gaming store. Through some chance interactions with Henry, he also ends up in the Overworld, hoping to find some treasures to solve his financial woes. Initially, it’s also amusing that the character is a skilled cooperative gamer who routinely messes up inside a fantasy world while failing to work together. However, like most aspects of A Minecraft Movie, this aspect is worn down and tiring.

Similarly, this is an action-packed adventure with a number of explosions on par with a Michael Bay film, except they rarely look visually exciting here since the bright nature of the world and commercial-like photography causes every image to appear fake with washed-out colors. There is strong attention to detail regarding the aesthetics and designs, but this is otherwise a hideous film; one can’t help but wonder what could have been done using more practical effects. There is no wonderment or movie magic here, with no suspension of disbelief that everyone didn’t spend several hours a day in front of a green screen. Once in a while, there is a moderately entertaining sequence, such as a chase in a minecart that runs off a special type of energy, but it’s often weightless and doesn’t pop.

Rounding out the set of main characters is Dawn, a real estate agent, settling Henry and Natalie into their new home. Struggling to pay the bills, she works numerous jobs, including one working with animals, which is handy when finding herself in the Overworld. She is also a consistently funny presence and the only one not overdoing their role into flat-out annoyance.

Together, they must search for a magical object to reopen a portal that will take them home, while aiding Steve in a war against the Nether world’s evil pig race, led by their leader, Malgosha (a voiceover performance by Rachel House). Speaking of Steve, his basic origins as a real-world person and years in the Overworld could have been an entire movie alone. Thankfully, it isn’t, because Jack Black is already irritating enough here. Still, it goes to show the lengths to which A Minecraft Movie goes in cramming in as much as possible, with zero consideration as to what it serves in the context of a narrative. 

Unsurprisingly, A Minecraft Movie‘s most inspired moments involve creativity, mainly through using materials to craft wacky weapons such as a tater tot gun or bucket nunchucks. Despite Jared Hess (and maybe one of the five screenwriters) showing a fundamental understanding of the game, it’s a shame the film is predominantly concerned with fan service and abrasively loud energy from its stars that comes across as desperately begging viewers to care. It mostly chooses laziness over imagination, directly insulting everything Minecraft stands for.

Advertisement

Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★

Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association, Critics Choice Association, and Online Film Critics Society. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews and follow my BlueSky or Letterboxd 

 

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Movie Reviews

‘Locked’ movie review: Anthony Hopkins traps Bill Skarsgård in claustrophobic thriller

Published

on

‘Locked’ movie review: Anthony Hopkins traps Bill Skarsgård in claustrophobic thriller

NOW STREAMING ON:

A down-on-his-luck father finds himself trapped in a state-of-the-art car in Locked, a (mostly) riveting thriller opening in local cinemas this weekend that was introduced by star Bill Skarsgård and Czech producer Petr Jákl at its European premiere in Prague last weekend. This high-concept, white-knuckle thriller benefits greatly from two powerhouse performances and inventive filmmaking from director David Yarovesky (Brightburn), which help keep things interesting through an underwhelming climax.

Locked stars Skarsgård as Eddie Barrish, a pitiful courier stuck between a rock and a hard place: his van is in the shop and he’s short of the repair cost to get it out, meaning he can’t make money or even pick up his young daughter Sarah (Ashley Cartwright) from school. With his last few bucks, he buys some scratch-offs at a convenience store as one last gut-shot hope.

Eddie’s down, but he’s not quite out: from his tatted neck and bright hoodie, we infer he’s something of a hustler even before he touts his street smarts and confirms a criminal record. Walking around dystopian-modern city streets, he tests car door handles for any that might have accidentally been left open, and thinks he’s scored big when he gets inside a luxury SUV.

But Eddie couldn’t be more wrong. Not only is there nothing inside the car, which was built for the film and modeled after the Land Rover Defender—Eddie can’t get out. The doors are locked and the frame impenetrable and soundproof, the windows fully tinted, and a voice coming from the in-vehicle entertainment display informs Eddie that he’s trapped.

Advertisement

That man behind the voice is William (Anthony Hopkins), who tells Eddie that his car has been broken into multiple times, and the police have failed him. So he’s built this SUV as a trap to teach the next thief a lesson—one that gets increasingly dangerous as Eddie runs low on food and water, and William tortures him with electric shocks and extreme climate control settings.

Locked establishes its nifty premise within the first fifteen minutes of screentime, and culminates with a masterfully-executed sequence: as Eddie crawls through the SUV and slowly comes to the realization that he’s trapped, Michael Dallatorre’s camera impossibly swirls around Skarsgård in a single unbroken take through the tight, enclosed space. Director Yarovesky pays homage to David Fincher here, who did this kind of thing in Panic Room, while playing off his lead character’s growing anxiety.

The early scenes in Locked also do a great job of establishing the urban jungle that Eddie lives in, set against a backdrop of graffiti and concrete (the location is not specified, but Locked was shot on the streets of Vancouver). There’s some genuine affection for Eddie’s street culture that recalls 80s classics like They Live; it nicely contrasts later scenes of street life viewed from William’s point of view, vagrants and junkies glimpsed from behind the tinted glass of a luxury SUV.

Locked does such a nice job of building tension early on—and Skarsgård and Hopkins create such compelling characters—that we can look past an uneventful screenplay, adapted by Michael Arlen Ross from the 2011 Argentinean film 4 x 4, written by Mariano Cohn and Gastón Duprat. Still, it would have been nice to learn more about William’s ultimate plan, or see Eddie employ more of those street smarts.

The film really only lets us down during the finale, which operates on the level of a much more traditional thriller than the battle of wits and wills that has preceded it. The screenplay wants us to be rooting for Eddie and against his captor, but it doesn’t take into account the utterly compelling and largely sympathetic performance from Hopkins, which cries out for a more nuanced conclusion.

Advertisement

Still, Locked is a thoroughly captivating ride for most of the ride, fueled by strong performances, stylish direction, and a gripping premise. While the finale may not fully capitalize on the psychological cat-and-mouse game that came before it, this an entirely engaging thriller that delivers enough claustrophobic tension to keep audiences hooked from start to finish.

Continue Reading

Trending