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Film Review: The Baltimorons – SLUG Magazine

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Film Review: The Baltimorons – SLUG Magazine

Film

The Baltimorons
Director: Jay Duplass
Duplass Brothers Productions
In Theaters: 9.12.2025

I’m the kind of guy who starts getting the Christmas decorations primed and ready in late October, but even I must admit that September is jumping the gun to start ringing in the holiday movie season. However, for that reason, it’s a good thing that The Baltimorons isn’t necessarily selling itself as a holiday film, and it’s more a festival film than a festive one. Nevertheless, this indie comedy romance has the makings of a minor new Christmas classic.

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On Christmas Eve, Cliff Cashin (Michael Strassner, Young Rock), a once-suicidal recovering alcoholic and former improv comic, is headed to dinner with the family of his fiancée, Brittany (Olilvia Luccardi, Money Monster, Orange is the New Black), when he chips a tooth. In a desperate search for a dentist who is willing to work on Christmas Eve, Cliff finds Dr. Didi Daw (Liz Larsen, Madoff, Mr. Robot), a brassy, no-nonsense woman in her early 60s whose own holiday has been upended by her ex-husband’s remarriage. What should have been a quick fix unravels into a night of comic misadventures: a towed car, a run-in with Cliff’s old comedy circle and an uncomfortable detour to Didi’s family gathering. Along the way, Cliff’s quick wit and raw honesty clash with, and eventually soften, Didi’s guarded exterior. As the two navigate Baltimore’s chaos together, these two lonely misfits find themselves finding an unexpected and welcome gift they didn’t even know they needed: a kindred spirit.

The Baltimorons, which takes its title from an improv sketch that Cliff used to perform back in his heyday, is a quirky two-hander character comedy and May-December romance that plays a bit like a mashup between Planes, Trains and Automobiles and Before Sunset. It’s neither as broadly laugh-out-loud funny as the former or as traditionally romantic as the latter (Strassner and Larsen aren’t exactly Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy circa 1995), but it’s the simplicity and real-world, blue collar reliability of it all that makes it so infectiously charming. The screenplay by Strassner and director Jay Duplass (Jeff, Who Lives At Home) is well-structured, lively and sensitive and it puts the character into situations that make for a memorable whirlwind night without feeling contrived or ridiculous. 

The centerpiece of the evening comes when the emerging duo decide to stop at an improv performance that Cliff’s friend is involved in. When Cliff gets pulled on stage, it’s the first time he has tried to perform improv in front of an audience since the event that caused him to attempt suicide. Now, it’s a longstanding pet peeve of mine that when it comes to movies about standup comedians, the routines we witness are rarely actually funny, and it would be easy enough to make that complaint here, especially if you’ve never done improv before. While we don’t get nearly as strong a sense of whether or not Cliff is particularly funny on stage as we do off, that’s not the point of the scene. It’s about returning to the scene of a traumatic event, and saying, “Yes, and” to life with a scene partner who is willing to stick it out even if they bomb. 

The Baltimorons is an actor’s movie all the way, and it’s the unconventionally captivating presence of the leads that makes it special. Strassner brings a great deal of heart and vulnerability to Cliff, but it’s Larsen who had me repeatedly checking IMDb, certain that I must have heard of her before, because she most certainly had to be a recognized star at some point (she wasn’t). While it’s hard to say whether the vehicle she’s been given will lead to that stardom at this point in her life and career, it gives her one film where she gets to be a leading lady with whom I couldn’t help but fall in love. 

The Baltimorons is a pleasant and likeable little film that provides a refreshing alternative to a lot of the dark and heavy fare that tends to hit theaters in the fall. It’s definitely too early for Christmas, but it’s a nice and hopeful gift nonetheless. —Patrick Gibbs

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Read more film reviews by Patrick Gibbs:
Film Review: Spinal Tap II: The End Continues 
Film Review: Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: ‘The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants’ – Catholic Review

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Movie Review: ‘The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants’ – Catholic Review

NEW YORK (OSV News) – Cartoon characters can devolve into dullards over time. But some are more enduringly appealing than others, as the adventure “The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants” (Paramount) proves.

Yellow, absorbent and porous on the outside, unflaggingly upbeat SpongeBob (voice of Tom Kenny) is childlike and anxious to please within. He also displays the kind of eagerness for grown-up experiences that is often found in real-life youngsters but that gets him into trouble in this fourth big-screen outing for his character.

Initially, his yearning for maturity takes a relatively harmless form. Having learned that he is now exactly 36 clams tall, the requisite height to ride the immense roller coaster at Captain Booty Beard’s Fun Park, he determines to do so.

Predictably, perhaps, he finds the ride too scary for him. This prompts Mr. Krabs (voice of Clancy Brown), the owner of the Krusty Krab — the fast-food restaurant where SpongeBob works as a cook — to inform his chef that he is still an immature bubble-blowing boy who needs to be tested as a swashbuckling adventurer.

The opportunity for such a trial soon arises with the appearance of the ghostly green Flying Dutchman (voice of Mark Hamill), a pirate whose elaborately spooky lair, the Underworld, is adjacent to SpongeBob’s friendly neighborhood, Bikini Bottom. Subject to a curse, the Dutchman longs to lift it and return to human status.

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To do so, he needs to find someone both innocent and gullible to whom he can transfer the spell. SpongeBob, of course, fits the bill.

So the buccaneer lures SpongeBob, accompanied by his naive starfish pal Patrick (voice of Bill Fagerbakke), into a series of challenges designed to prove that the lad has what it takes. Mr. Krabs, the restaurateur’s ill-tempered other employee, Squidward (voice of Rodger Bumpass), and SpongeBob’s pet snail, Gary, all follow in pursuit.

Along the way, SpongeBob and Patrick’s ingenuity and love of carefree play usually succeed in thwarting the Dutchman’s plans.

As with most episodes of the TV series, which premiered on Nickelodeon in 1999, there are sight gags intended either for adults or savvy older children. This time out, though, director Derek Drymon and screenwriters Pam Brady and Matt Lieberman produce mostly misfires.

These include an elaborate gag about Davy Jones’ legendary locker — which, after much buildup, turns out to be an ordinary gym locker. Additionally, in moments of high stress, SpongeBob expels what he calls “my lucky brick.” As euphemistic poop gags go, it’s more peculiar than naughty.

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True to form, SpongeBob emerges from his latest escapades smarter, wiser, pleased with his newly acquired skills and with increased loyalty to his friends. So, although the script’s humor may often fall short, the franchise’s beguiling charm remains.

The film contains characters in cartoonish peril and occasional scatological humor. The OSV News classification is A-I – general patronage. The Motion Picture Association rating is PG — parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.

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The Housemaid

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The Housemaid

Too good to be true? Yep, that’s just what Millie’s new job as a housemaid is—and everyone in the audience knows it. What they might not expect, though, is the amount of nudity, profanity and blood The Housemaid comes with. And this content can’t be scrubbed away.

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Movie Review – Avatar: Fire and Ash (2025)

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Movie Review – Avatar: Fire and Ash (2025)

Avatar: Fire and Ash, 2025.

Directed by James Cameron.
Starring Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Oona Chaplin, Kate Winslet, Cliff Curtis, Joel David Moore, CCH Pounder, Edie Falco, Brendan Cowell, Jemaine Clement, Giovanni Ribisi, David Thewlis, Britain Dalton, Jack Champion, Trinity Jo-Li Bliss, Jamie Flatters, Bailey Bass, Filip Geljo, Duane Evans Jr., Matt Gerald, Dileep Rao, Daniel Lough, Kevin Dorman, Keston John, Alicia Vela-Bailey, and Johnny Alexander.

SYNOPSIS:

Jake and Neytiri’s family grapples with grief after Neteyam’s death, encountering a new, aggressive Na’vi tribe, the Ash People, who are led by the fiery Varang, as the conflict on Pandora escalates and a new moral focus emerges.

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At one point during one of the seemingly endless circular encounters in Avatar: Fire and Ash, (especially if director James Cameron sticks to his plans of making five films in this franchise) former soldier turned blue family man (or family Na’vi?) and protector Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) tells his still-in-pursuit-commander-nemesis-transferred-to-a-Na’vi-body Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang) that the world of Pandora runs deeper than he or anyone imagines, and to open his eyes. It’s part of a plot point in which Jake encourages the villainous Quaritch to change his ways.

More fascinatingly, it comes across as a plea of trust from James Cameron (once again writing the screenplay alongside Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver) that there is still much untapped lore and stories to tell in this world. If this repetitive The Way of Water retread is anything to go by, more isn’t justified. Even taken as a spectacle, the unmatched and undeniably stunning visuals (not to mention the most expressive motion capture ever put to screen, movie or video game), that aspect is less impactful, being only two years removed from the last installment rather than a decade, which is not to be confused with less impressive. Fortunately for the film and its gargantuan 3+ hour running time, James Cameron still has enough razzle-dazzle to scoot by here on unparalleled marvel alone, even if the narrative and character expansions are bare-bones.

That’s also what makes it disappointing that this third entry, while introducing a new group dubbed the Ash People led by the strikingly conceptualized Varang (Oona Chaplin) – no one creates scenery-chewing, magnetic, and badass-looking villains quite like James Cameron – and their plight with feeling left behind, rebelling against Pandora religion, Avatar: Fire and Ash is stuck in a cycle of Jake endangering his family (and, by extension, everyone around them) with Quaritch hunting him down for vengeance but this time more fixated on his human son living among them, Spider (Jack Champion) who undergoes a physical transformation that makes him a valuable experiment and, for better or worse, the most important living being in this world. Even the corrupt and greedy marine biologists are back hunting the same godlike sea creatures, leading to what essentially feels like a restaging, if slightly different, riff on the climactic action beat that culminated in last time around.

Worse, whereas The Way of Water had a tighter, more graceful flow from storytelling to spectacle, with sequences extended and drawn out in rapturously entertaining ways, the pacing here is clunkier and frustrating, as every time these characters collide and fight, the story resets and doesn’t necessarily progress. For as much exciting action as there is here, the film also frustratingly starts and stops too much. The last thing I ever expected to type about Avatar: Fire and Ash is that, for all the entrancing technical wizardry on display, fantastical world immersion, and imaginative character designs (complete with occasional macho and corny dialogue that fits, namely since the presentation is in a high frame rate consistently playing like the world’s most expensive gaming cut scene), is often dull.

Yes, everything here, from a special-effects standpoint, is painstakingly crafted, with compelling characters that James Cameron clearly loves (something that shows and allows us to take the story seriously). Staggeringly epic action sequences are worth singling out as in a tier of its own (it’s also a modern movie free from the generally garish and washed-out look of others in this generation), but it’s all in service of a film that is not aware of its strengths, but instead committed to not going anywhere. There are a couple of important details here that one could tell someone before they watch the inevitable Avatar 4, and they will be caught up without needing to watch this. If Avatar: The Way of Water was filler (something I wholeheartedly disagree with), then Avatar: Fire and Ash is nothing. And that’s something that hurts to say.

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Without spoiling too much, the single best scene in the entire film has nothing to do with epic-scale warring, but a smoldering courting from Quaritch for Varang and her army of Ash People to join forces with his group. In a film that’s over three hours, it would also have been welcome to focus more on the Ash People, their past, and their current inner workings alongside their perception of Pandora. It’s not a shock that James Cameron can invest viewers into a villain without doing so, but the alternative of watching Jake grapple with militarizing the Na’vi and insisting everyone learn how to use “sky people” firearms while coming to terms with whether or not he can actually protect his family isn’t as engaging; the latter half comes across as déjà vu.

The presence of Spider amplifies the target on everyone’s backs, with Jake convinced the boy needs to return to his world. His significant other Neytiri (Zoe Saldaña), with rage building inside her stemming from the family losing a child in the climax of the previous film, encourages a more aggressive approach and is ready to kill Spider if him being a part of the family threatens their remaining children (with one of them once again a 14-year-old motion captured by Sigourney Weaver, which is not as effective a voice performance this time as there are scenes of loud agony and pain where she sounds her age). The children also get to continue their plot arcs, with similarly slim narrative progression.

Not without glimpses of movie-magic charm and emotional moments would one dare say James Cameron is losing his touch. However, Avatar: Fire and Ash is all the proof anyone needs to question whether five of these are required, as it’s beginning to look more and more as if the world and characters aren’t as rich as the filmmaker believes they are. It’s another action-packed technical marvel with sincere, endearing characters, but the cycling nature of those elements is starting to wear thin and yield diminishing returns.

Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★ ★ ★

Robert Kojder

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