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The 25 worst losses in college football history, including Baylor’s 2024 entry at Colorado

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The 25 worst losses in college football history, including Baylor’s 2024 entry at Colorado

Baylor plays LSU on Tuesday night in the Texas Bowl, Dave Aranda’s team looking for its seventh straight win to finish the season in a matchup that sets the table for the Fiesta Bowl quarterfinal.

The Bears bumping right up against a College Football Playoff game is fitting because one might argue Baylor could be in it without the most brutal loss in school history — one of the wildest on record in a sport made for mind-melting defeats.

As we prepare to cross over into 2025, let’s celebrate the 25 worst losses of all time. “Worst” is mostly an evaluation of circumstances, with consequences factoring heavily. Your garden-variety Hail Mary isn’t enough. We’re talking plays that couldn’t possibly be duplicated, calls that can’t be explained, gigantic leads blown and/or great seasons squandered.

And yes, a lot of these games can be flipped around as all-time best wins. But today we celebrate the losers.

One game that didn’t qualify: The original “Fifth Down” game between Cornell and Dartmouth in 1940. Cornell scored a touchdown to win 7-3 on an extra down that shouldn’t have been permitted, circumstances similar to one of the games on the list that follows. But Cornell sent a telegram the next day to Dartmouth, officially forfeiting the game. Were it not for those swell Big Red chaps, the Big Green would be on this list.

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Auburn 17, Alabama 16 • Dec. 1, 1972

“Punt Bama Punt,” they like to call it, and a nickname like that gives a game a strong chance to end up on a list like this. Paul “Bear” Bryant’s team was 10-0 and ranked No. 2 coming into this Iron Bowl against Ralph Jordan’s 8-1, No. 9 Tigers, and the higher-ranked team controlled the game — seeking a win that would provide access to a national championship shot against Texas in the Cotton Bowl. Access was denied by Bill Newton, who inexplicably blocked two punts in the final 10 minutes, and David Langner, who returned them both for touchdowns. This has it all — unimaginable plays by a hated rival, costing a team its shot at glory.

Colorado 33, Missouri 31 • Oct. 6, 1990

Missouri appears twice on this list, with middling teams, but in both cases, their losses led to conference rivals winning shares of national championships. One was pure luck, but this one was made possible by some of the worst officiating malpractice on record. Colorado quarterback Charles Johnson spiked the ball twice in a sequence that ended with him scoring on the Buffs’ fifth play, which obviously never should have happened. An underrated aspect of this debacle: Replays cast serious doubt on whether he actually got into the end zone.

Texas A&M 36, Kansas State 33 (double OT) • Dec. 5, 1998 • Big 12 title game

This is an all-time bag fumble, not just for that Kansas State team but for a program that could have gained so much from being in the first BCS title game. No. 2 UCLA’s upset loss to Miami meant Bill Snyder’s Wildcats just needed to beat the Aggies as 17.5-point favorites. They just needed to preserve a 27-12 lead in the final nine minutes of the game. But Sirr Parker caught the tying touchdown and two-point conversion, then the winner in double-overtime, and Florida State leapfrogged Kansas State and UCLA to play (and lose to) Tennessee.

Michigan State 27, Michigan 23 • Oct. 17, 2015

There aren’t enough Hail Marys in the world to approximate the improbability of Michigan punting, up 23-21, from the Michigan State 47-yard-line with 10 seconds left and Blake O’Neill fumbling the snap; O’Neill trying to pick it up and spin rather than falling on it; O’Neill getting hit and letting it pop into the air; Michigan State’s Jalen Watts-Jackson grabbing it in full stride; and Watts-Jackson following a convoy of Spartans into the end zone as time expired and his hip was broken and dislocated.

This is how Jim Harbaugh’s first meeting with Mark Dantonio ended. It would deny Harbaugh’s first team a home shot at Ohio State for a spot in the Big Ten title game — it would be six years before he won the league. The hated Spartans ended up winning at Ohio State, winning the Big Ten and earning a spot in the College Football Playoff. Circumstances and consequences, maxed out.

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Tennessee 28, Arkansas 24 • Nov. 14, 1998

A lot of people forget that Houston Nutt’s Razorbacks were 8-0 and ranked No. 9 coming to Knoxville to play the No. 1 Vols. More people remember how they blew it. The Hogs had it at their 49 with 1:47 left, up 24-22, and Tennessee had one timeout left. Arkansas went play action. UT’s Billy Ratliff drove Arkansas guard Brandon Burlsworth back and Burlsworth stepped on quarterback Clint Stoerner’s foot. Stoerner could have secured the ball as he fell, but he left it on the grass. The Vols took that incredible gift all the way to the national championship. What if Arkansas hadn’t committed an all-time gaffe? Would the following week’s 22-21 upset loss at Mississippi State gone differently? Would the Hogs have ended up in the BCS title game? We’ll never know.

Auburn 34, Alabama 28 • Nov. 30, 2013

Auburn got to this game at 10-1, ranked No. 4 on the strength of another candidate for this list — the 73-yard “immaculate deflection” to stun Georgia — but it took something more improbable to emerge as a national title contender. Nick Saban went for the win for No. 1, unbeaten Alabama with a 57-yard field goal try. It turned into a 109-yard Chris Davis return for the win, “The Kick Six.” Of course, if you want to talk repercussions, Saban and Alabama would be back again and again. A season that finished with a loss in the last BCS title game tied Auburn to Malzahn for another seven seasons, and he never lost fewer than four games again.

Nebraska 45, Missouri 38 (overtime) • Nov. 8, 1997

Show me more misery, Missouri! At least this loss to a hated conference rival that went on to win the whole thing was about bad luck, not incomprehensible human error. But what luck — Scott Frost’s pass bouncing off intended receiver Shevin Wiggins’ chest, hitting the foot of a Missouri player and bouncing up, then off Wiggins’ leg and finally into the hands of diving Cornhusker Matt Davison with the clock at zeroes. The “Flea Kicker” was not unlike Pee Wee Herman’s chain-reaction “breakfast machine” in action, and it cost the Tigers their first win over the Huskers in 20 years.

Michigan State 16, Ohio State 13 • Nov. 9, 1974

It was eventual Heisman winner Archie Griffin, Woody Hayes and No. 1 Ohio State as four-touchdown favorites at a 4-3-1 team. Michigan State fullback Levi Jackson sprinted 88 yards for the winning score and was greeted in the end zone by bell-bottomed student revelers. Then it got weird. Ohio State got to the Michigan State 1-yard line, hurried for a final play and landed on the fumbled ball in the end zone. One official signaled touchdown, another signaled time had expired, they all fled a field filling with fans, and it took 46 minutes for Big Ten commissioner Wayne Duke to tell Hayes he had officially lost. His vengeance included turning Michigan State in for NCAA violations, leading to probation that crippled the program until the late 1970s.

Cal 25, Stanford 20, Nov. 20 • 1982

“The Play,” a kickoff return for a touchdown as time expired featuring five laterals, the Stanford band on the field taking body shots and Joe Starkey’s exquisitely unhinged radio call, deserves that title and is perhaps the finest single summation of this sport. But being on the other side of that is bitter, especially considering a couple of those laterals were awfully close to forward passes and a knee sure looked like it might have been on the ground. It’s been analyzed countless times with varying conclusions. Stanford coach Paul Wiggin, fired a year later, said it crushed his program. Of course, had he not instructed quarterback John Elway to call timeout with eight seconds left before the would-be winning field goal to account for a possible miscue, there would have been no time for “The Play.”

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Miami 30, Duke 27 • Oct. 31, 2015

The winning play itself, a kickoff return consisting of eight laterals, lasting 49 seconds and winding all the way back to the Miami 3-yard line before heading back the other way, was even more breathtaking than Cal’s 1982 winner against Stanford. Problem was, officials threw a flag on an illegal block in the back. Bigger problem was, they overturned that upon review — even though the rulebook gave them no permission to review an illegal block in the back. Oh and by the way, the ACC said in a statement announcing the suspension of the entire crew (including the replay official), a runner’s knee was down and there was an additional penalty on Miami that should have been called. Shucks, sorry!

Mississippi State 21, Ole Miss 20 • Nov. 28, 2019

Rivalries abound on this list, which makes sense because nothing is worse than losing to a rival. Also, because rivalry games serve as crockpots for the absurd. Few can match the circumstances of this particular Egg Bowl, in which Ole Miss receiver Elijah Moore caught an apparent tying touchdown from Matt Corral with four seconds left and celebrated by impersonating a dog urinating in the end zone. The ensuing penalty led to a missed extra point. Firings ensued, The Athletic later writing a piece on how nearly 300 coaching careers were affected. Woof.

Colorado 38, Baylor 31 (overtime) • Sept. 22, 2024

Yes, the big play was technically a Hail Mary, but it was not the usual: drop back, set up, launch high, hope a receiver can high point or a tip lands fortuitously. This was Shedeur Sanders taking a snap from the Baylor 43, bailing left to escape an extra Baylor rusher, setting his feet for a fraction of a second and launching the dart of darts into the hands of LaJohntay Wester, who was way too available in the end zone. This came after Baylor led 24-10, squandered that, got the ball at the Colorado 26 with a 31-24 lead and 3:58 left, ran three times, missed a field goal, then let the Buffs escape from second-and-24 at their own 31 with 55 seconds left. It ended for Baylor at the goal line in overtime, Travis Hunter knocking the ball loose to erase a would-be tying touchdown.

Aranda later said his team was “cut wide open” by the loss, and it showed the next week as the Bears fell behind 28-7 to BYU at home. They stormed back and had a chance to win late but fell 34-28. What if Baylor does any one of several things to close out Colorado and isn’t battling the combo of Cougars/catastrophe hangover the next week? This turned into a team that was good enough to play for a Big 12 title.

UNLV 27, Baylor 24 • Sept. 11, 1999

Strictly in terms of circumstances, this is Baylor’s worst loss. But since Kevin Steele’s team finished 1-10 and was blown out most weeks, this will have to settle for second. What a beauty, though. The Bears had the ball at the Rebels’ 8-yard line with 28 seconds left, up 24-21. Kneel and celebrate? Nah. Steele wanted another touchdown. One play, strip, fumble and 100-yard return later, Steele’s head coaching career was off to a foreboding start.

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Central Michigan 30, Oklahoma State 27 • Sept. 10, 2016

The Hail Mary that didn’t quite get there, and had to be finished by a lateral for a 51-yard touchdown on the final play of the game would have been enough to make this part of Oklahoma State’s unwanted lore. The fact that it never should have happened makes it much worse. The Mid-American Conference crew penalized Oklahoma State for intentional grounding on what should have been the final play, a throw away with four seconds left. The crew incorrectly ruled that game couldn’t end on that play. It should have. Resulting apologies were not well received.

Colorado State 48, Washington State 45 • Dec. 21, 2013 • New Mexico Bowl

The late, great Mike Leach coached Washington State in a 67-63 loss to UCLA in 2019 that featured the third-largest blown lead in FBS history — 32 points — and yet that one didn’t quite make the cut. He has two others that did, including this doozy in which the Cougars led 45-30 with less than three minutes to play. Colorado State scored. Wazzu lost a fumble, ruled down upon review. Wazzu lost another fumble and this one counted. Colorado State scored and tied it on a “Statue of Liberty” two-point play. Wazzu fumbled away the ensuing kickoff, setting up the winning field goal.

Cal 60, Washington State 59 • Oct. 4, 2014

This one has a claim as the wildest game on record, with the teams combining for 56 points in the third quarter and the quarterbacks — Cal’s Jared Goff and Wazzu’s Connor Halliday — playing catch with no resistance. Goff threw for 527 yards and five touchdowns. Halliday threw for an NCAA-record 734 yards and six scores. So it’s a tossup and someone had to lose, right? Not when you’re Washington State and you gave up kickoff returns for touchdowns of 100 and 98 yards to Trevor Davis. Not when you’re Washington State and you suffer the ultimate college kicker moment, a 19-yard Quentin Breshears miss for the win to lose.

Georgia Tech 23, Miami 20 • Oct. 7, 2023

Mario Cristobal may yet return the Hurricanes to the heights of two decades ago and earlier, but in the meantime, he really shouldn’t be able to live down this abject failure to do math. Especially since he lost in a similar way as Oregon’s coach five years earlier — running a play and fumbling the ball away when his team could have taken a knee to kill the clock. Call it Kevin Steele-itis. Georgia Tech managing to go 74 yards in 24 seconds for the win is the kind of math that makes you think football karma was involved.

Michigan State 41, Northwestern 38 • Oct. 21, 2006

Still the largest comeback in FBS history, it saw John L. Smith’s Spartans trailing 38-3, scoring a touchdown with 7:03 left in the third quarter and ripping off another 31 in a row to shock Pat Fitzgerald’s first Northwestern team. Two interceptions and a blocked punt for a touchdown aided the madness. The Wildcats finished 4-8. For Spartans fans, this was like NFL fans watching a team win to blow a higher draft pick — they wanted Smith fired as soon as possible. He got a one-week reprieve, but a blowout loss at Indiana a week later gave them their wish.

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Texas Tech 44, Minnesota 41 • Dec. 29, 2006 • Insight Bowl

Leach was on the right side of this one, but Minnesota’s Glen Mason decidedly was not: He was fired two days after his team blew a 31-point lead in the game’s final 20 minutes. And AD Joel Maturi made it clear the nature of the collapse — not the first in Mason’s tenure — factored into the decision. Mason’s decision to go for a fourth-and-7 rather than try a field goal, up 38-21 in the fourth quarter, factored significantly into the result.

Houston 35, Pittsburgh 34 • Jan. 2, 2015 • Armed Forces Bowl

Paul Chryst had moved on to Wisconsin, Pat Narduzzi was hired to be Pitt’s next coach and Joe Rudolph in the interim oversaw an astounding squandering of a game in hand. Pitt led 31-6 with less than 11 minutes to play and 34-13 with less than four minutes on the clock. Two recovered onside kicks and a flurry of plays at the expense of Pitt’s disappearing defense changed all that.

BYU 46, SMU 45 • Dec. 19, 1980 • Holiday Bowl

This was early branding for a bowl game that has delivered consistent bangers over the years, and it was an inexplicable collapse for Ron Meyer’s Mustangs, starring Eric Dickerson and Craig James. SMU dominated for about 58 minutes, then gave up 21 points in the final 2:33 to lose. That included a recovered onside kick and a Hail Mary on the final play, Jim McMahon to a leaping Clay Brown.

Maryland 42, Miami 40 • Nov. 10, 1984

Jimmy Johnson’s defending national champion Miami Hurricanes had a tough run of luck in 1984, and anyone who follows college football has seen countless replays of Doug Flutie’s Hail Mary to beat the Canes that season. But the previous loss was worse — the largest blown lead in FBS history at the time. Frank Reich came off the Maryland bench and pulled off the unthinkable, as he would do years later with the Buffalo Bills. It was 31-0 Miami at halftime, but he threw six touchdowns after the break and the Terps stopped a tying two-point conversion to hold on.

Penn State 15, Kansas 14 • Jan. 1, 1969 • Orange Bowl

Joe Paterno went for the two-point conversion and the win with 15 seconds left to deliver his first undefeated season, but the co-Big Eight champion Jayhawks got the stop to finish 10-1 … wait, check the flag. Kansas, 12 men on the field. The Kansas fans who rushed the field headed back to the stands. And of course, the Nittany Lions converted on their second chance. Kansas coach Pepper Rodgers got star John Riggins back the next season, but his team went from 9-2 to 1-9.

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TCU 47, Oregon 41 (triple overtime) • Jan. 2, 2016 • Alamo Bowl

It was 31-0 Oregon at halftime. It was 31-31 at the end of regulation after Gary Patterson’s Horned Frogs scored points on all six of their second-half possessions. The Ducks had a reason for their offensive disappearance — quarterback Vernon Adams Jr.’s finger injury — but the defense vacated as well. Mark Helfrich responded by demoting defensive coordinator Don Pellum to linebackers coach. The 4-8 season that followed cost Helfrich his job, just two years after his team lost in the national title game.

Miami 13, Holy Cross 6 • Jan. 1, 1946 • Orange Bowl

The only bowl game in Holy Cross history — a program that dropped from what is now called FBS to FCS in 1981 — was right there for the taking. The 8-1 Crusaders were driving on the 8-1-1 Hurricanes, and coach John “Ox” DaGrosa called for a pass in the waning seconds from the Miami 26. It bounced off receiver Al Conway and into the hands of Miami’s Al Hudson, who took it back 89 yards for the win as time expired.

(Photo of Dave Aranda:  Andrew Wevers / Getty Images)

Culture

Celine Haidar, the Lebanon player struck by shrapnel, has loved ones ‘waiting for her to come back to life’

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Celine Haidar, the Lebanon player struck by shrapnel, has loved ones ‘waiting for her to come back to life’

Celine Haidar dances on the upper deck of a crimson open-top bus. Around the 19-year-old midfielder, team-mates sing. A flag bearing the Beirut Football Academy (BFA) crest sways to an undirected melody of car horns, drums and mini trumpets.

It is August 10, 2024. Celine’s BFA team are celebrating their first Lebanese Women’s Football League title, achieved in a flawless, unbeaten season which reached its climax earlier that day.

But there are other noises too — the hum of Israeli fighter jets crawling above and the echo of bombs — while around the bus piles of concrete and twisted metal poke upwards into the sky.

Here, in Lebanon’s capital, life has been delineated by similar sounds and sights of conflict for decades. But they have been ever-present since Hezbollah, the Iran-backed Shiite militia based across southern Lebanon, began attacking Israel in solidarity with its ally Hamas — the Palestinian militant group in Gaza that led the October 7, 2023 attack on Israel.

But on August 10, Celine and her team-mates choose to make their own noise. In the car behind them, Celine’s father, Abbas, honks the horn with unbridled pride, prompting the cars behind to follow suit.

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“We had been running from the bombing, the war,” Abbas tells The Athletic from Beirut via video call, with the help of a translator. “But they had a final to play. I told Celine I wanted to be there, despite the sirens, because they chose to play despite the sirens. They won, and we marched in Beirut, with joy and horns and pride.”

In a city accustomed to the wail of air raid sirens, it was a rare moment of rhapsody. Four months later, it would become an emotional buoy from which to cling.

Across October and November 2024, Israel ramped up its pursuit of Hezbollah agents. Civilians, including Celine and her family, evacuated Beirut’s suburbs and sought refuge in Baakline, a village in the Chouf Mountains outside the capital. On November 15, during a lull in the shelling, Celine returned to Beirut to train and work. The following day, Israel issued an evacuation order. While mounting her motorcycle preparing to leave, Celine was struck on the right side of her head by a piece of shrapnel.

Footage of the incident was shared on social media. In it, Celine can be seen wearing white trousers, white trainers and a light green jacket. She lies on a floor of amber tiles, surrounded by still-settling rubble. There is blood on her face. Her long light brown hair spools into a swelling red puddle around her. A man’s desperate screams fill the space.

After two months, Celine underwent throat surgery on December 20 and, finally, is out of a coma. But she cannot move or speak and she rarely registers sounds around her.

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News of the incident travelled around the globe, igniting outrage and sorrow. Celine, a burgeoning star with Lebanon’s national team, became a symbol of the war’s destruction.

For her parents, Abbas and Saana, there is only anguish. They know they are not unique in this setting. More than 3,700 have been killed and 16,000 injured in Lebanon since 2023, according to the Lebanese health ministry, which does not differentiate between combatants and civilians. The conflict is the country’s deadliest in three decades. According to New York Times reporting, it has displaced more than one million people, crippled the economy and left schools, farms, businesses and hospitals in ruins. In Israel, dozens living in frontline communities in the north near the Lebanese border have been killed, with more than 60,000 civilians uprooted. A 60-day ceasefire, agreed in late November, is into its final 30 days.

“We’ve spent all our lives holding our children, hiding them from war, protecting them,” says Abbas, who has witnessed conflict throughout his life in Lebanon.

“We paid a big war tax, a blood tax for our daughters. So, what do we do? What did we do wrong? We only live to raise our children, to make their dreams come true. Celine was beginning her life, building step by step with football. This injury cut off her journey. I hope this experience is passed on.”


Celine Haidar was at the start of what she hoped would be a long and successful career (Samer Barbary/Beirut Football Academy)

For those who know Celine, two things repeatedly come to mind: her irrepressible smile and her incorrigible fight.

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“When we think of Celine, the first thing that comes to mind is the life she brought,” says Saana. “Her spirit, her humour, her toughness, her stubbornness. We miss how she fills the house.”

The youngest of three children, Celine followed a direction only she knew, wearing the clothes and pursuing the hobbies she wanted. While devoutly religious, her zeal for life sometimes grated against Lebanon’s historic conservatism, particularly as she pursued football, a traditionally male enterprise (the nation has only one women’s league, with teams regularly folding).

Yet neither Abbas nor Saana felt they should, or could, stand in her way.

“Celine is Celine, she wants her life as she wants it,” says Abbas. “She can take what she wants and do what she wants. Yes, I give her this opportunity, as I don’t see a difference between girls and boys, but she does not need to take it from me. She did what she wanted with the strength of her personality.”

What Celine wanted most was football. She idolises Cristiano Ronaldo, whose Manchester United shirt remains draped over a chair in her bedroom. Days were spent on fields, honing her trade with the local boys. Her visions were grand: make the Lebanese national team, perhaps move to the United States, eventually open an academy.

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At 17, shortly after helping Lebanon’s Under-18s to glory in the West Asian Cup — just the second time in the team’s history they achieved the feat — Celine was offered to BFA after her previous side, SC Safa, was dismantled. Head coach Samer Barbary initially declined the opportunity. He had midfielders, good ones. And a reputation preceded Celine.

“I’m a very strict coach. I’d heard she was stubborn,” Barbary says, talking via video call in December. “I didn’t think we’d get along.”

Celine, predictably, disagreed.

“She texted me,” Barbary says, a smile sneaking across his face. “‘Coach, I hear you don’t want me but I want to play so you’ll have to take me’. I said, ‘Fine, training is at 6:45 tonight.’ And we began this beautiful journey together.”

In her first two seasons with BFA, Celine helped the club win the under-19 title and a first senior league championship in the 2023-24 season, making 33 top-flight appearances in total.

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Celine Haidar (on a team-mate’s shoulders, centre left) celebrates winning the under-19 title in 2023 (Samer Barbary/Beirut Football Academy)

The increasing consistency of her performances, married with her vision and insatiable aggression, earned her a new reputation as one of Lebanon’s best central midfielders, a “prodigy” according to Barbary. Despite her age, she was a pillar of BFA, wearing the captain’s armband for part of the title-winning campaign.

“They called her ‘Little Captain’, because she was smaller than all of them (about 5ft 5ins, 165cm) but she could lead,” Saana says, lifting her chin high as tears prickle her eyes.

Four times Celine was called into the senior Lebanon national team. With a fair wind, her course was unstoppable: a senior cap, a move abroad, maybe a major tournament.

The day Barbary speaks with The Athletic in late November, Celine should be attending the second day of a coaching course. For Barbary, it is another reminder of how abruptly life has been altered.

“She just needed to keep going,” Barbary says, an ache creeping into his voice. “We were planning on doing this. She was always smiling, always laughing. I just hope she gets that smile back. And she will be my captain again. We are waiting for her to come back to life, for her to be normal or to live a normal life as much as she can. Because they killed her dream.”

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Abbas and Saana never feared their daughter’s spirit might cause her problems. “The only thing we were afraid of for her was war,” Abbas says.

Conflict was never far away in Lebanon, but in October 2023 their fears grew. Barbary rattles off a list of moments that will not leave him. A day in September when players and coaches hit the floor as Israel continued its two-week offensive targeting Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah, the former leader of Lebanon’s militant Shia Islamist movement (Israel later confirmed his assassination). A day in November when an under-8s and under-12s session was interrupted by bombs.

“The kids began laughing,” Barbary says. “They had become used to the sound. We don’t want kids to get used to the sound.”

The Lebanese Football Association (LFA) postponed all football matches in its affiliated tournaments in late September. But Celine refused to allow the war to disrupt her trajectory. Between evacuation notices, she left the mountains to train in what was considered a safe corner of the capital. Sirens signalled her return to life in the mountains. This was life’s cycle.

But on November 16, the cycle did not repeat. Instead, sirens wailed and Celine’s parents did not hear from her. Saana called Abbas, who was at work, and told him to find her.

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“They were 500 metres away from each other (when the bombs began),” says Saana. A friend called, choking out the message that Celine was hurt. Saana asked where Celine was, her way of attempting to ask the question burning in her throat: how hurt?

“That question, you don’t even dare to ask,” Saana says. Tears stain her cheeks.

Saana was told Celine sustained a head injury and was going to Saint George Hospital in Hadath. Saana could not leave Baakline until the shelling stopped. When she finally arrived, she barged into the emergency room where her daughter lay in an induced coma.

“I saw the doctor cutting her hair off,” Saana says. “I saw her face. It was all blood. She had a gash in her head. They were cutting into it, to save her.”

Bombs continued to fall, eventually striking the hospital. Celine was moved to Saint George Hospital University Medical Center in Achrafieh following a conversation between the president of the BFA and the Lebanese health minister. Another surgery was required to stabilise her condition, before breathing tubes and prayers were assembled around her.

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“I pray I was the one injured,” Abbas says. “I pray for the pain to return to me instead.”

Barbary, who travels daily to Celine’s bedside, took her BFA team-mates to visit her the following Monday. In the hospital lobby, he held a meeting.

“I told them it’s a situation we cannot erase, so we have to continue fighting,” Barbary says. “Because she doesn’t want anyone to stop. When she comes back, when she wakes up, if she can play, she wants to come back to the team playing. Every day we are training and playing for Celine. This is our objective now. We’ll be waiting for her.”

That week at BFA’s training ground, a poster of Celine was erected above the pitches, a reminder of their mission.


The Celine banner is prominent as the players train (Samer Barbary/Beirut Football Academy)

Days are divided into a rota, Abbas, Saana and her elder sister Carole taking shifts to ensure Celine is never alone (Celine’s elder brother works in Africa). Coaches and friends flitter in and out. They check her temperature. They hold her hand. They speak to her about life, about football, about anything.

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“I dedicate my life to Celine,” says Abbas, who no longer goes to work. “All day, I am next to her at the hospital. All my effort in my life is for her, so that she recovers.”

In the scant hours he and Saana are home, sleep does not come.

On occasion, one of Celine’s eyes will open. Her hand will move. But progress is staggered. Complications with the sodium in her blood led to early issues. Sustenance arrived via a feeding tube. One month after the injury, the oxygen machine was removed. Days later, Celine was forced to undergo an emergency tracheostomy, a surgical procedure that creates an opening in the neck to aid breathing.

The refrain is the same among friends and families: Celine is a fighter. But a full recovery requires medical procedures unavailable in Lebanon’s limited healthcare system, leaving her family at the mercy of charity.

“We are hoping someone can read this and help us,” Saana says. “Because we need, God willing, help.”

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Celine’s story, with the graphic video of her injury and its dissemination on social media, grabbed global headlines.

Lili Iskandar, a Lebanon national team-mate who plays for Saudi Arabian side Al-Ittihad, suggests the reason this particular story gained such attention is Celine’s ubiquity: a young person with a life ahead of her.

“When I heard what happened, I thought, I can be her. Anyone can be her,” says Iskandar. “My sister (who lives in Lebanon) sends me texts, saying, ‘I don’t want to die. I’m so scared.’ People ask me in Saudi, why don’t my family join me? The intention is nice, but why is the question always about us leaving our home? Why is the question not about the war leaving us?”

The news of the 60-day ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah, agreed 10 days after Celine’s injury, is welcomed, particularly as Lebanon continues to grapple with a prolonged economic crisis exacerbated by war, political stagnation and the Covid-19 pandemic. But the truce is fragile.

Celine’s family recognise the temptation for some to paint their daughter as a symbol. But they want her to be recognised as Celine: their headstrong little girl who loves football, who “rose from nothing” to wear the Lebanese crest, who loves Ronaldo and Real Madrid, who travels to Egyptian beaches to feel the ocean run between her toes, whose grey long-haired cat still saunters into her room searching for her. She is their youngest child who moved them to a new home to keep them safe during the war, despite the job of protector technically belonging to them.

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In this light, they say, Celine’s story cannot be written as a condition of war but a tragedy of it.

“I want to send a message to all the people who love peace and sports,” says Abbas. “Wars are pure losses for all parties. I hope there won’t be wars. Celine had big ambition. This ambition was killed. But let’s use this moment to give the message that it doesn’t matter your religion, your ethnicity. We’re all human beings. We deserve to have our dreams.”

(Photos: Samer Barbary/Beirut Football Academy; design: Eamonn Dalton)

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Culture

Could Monkeys Really Type All of Shakespeare?

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Could Monkeys Really Type All of Shakespeare?

Science doesn’t usually tolerate frivolity, but the infinite monkey theorem enjoys an exception. The question it poses is thoroughly outlandish: Could an infinite number of monkeys, each given an infinite amount of time to peck away at a typewriter (stocked with an infinite supply of paper, presumably) eventually produce, by pure chance, the complete works of William Shakespeare?

The problem was first described in a 1913 paper by the French mathematician Émile Borel, a pioneer of probability theory. As modernity opened new scientific fronts, approaches to the theorem also evolved. Today, the problem pulls in computer science and astrophysics, among other disciplines.

In 1979, The New York Times reported on a Yale professor who, using a computer program to try to prove this “venerable hypothesis,” managed to produce “startlingly intelligible, if not quite Shakespearean” strings of text. In 2003, British scientists put a computer into a monkey cage at the Paignton Zoo. The outcome was “five pages of text, primarily filled with the letter S,” according to news reports. In 2011, Jesse Anderson, an American programmer, ran a computer simulation with much better results, albeit under conditions that — like the Yale professor’s — mitigated chance.

A new paper by Stephen Woodcock, a mathematician at the University of Technology Sydney, suggests that those efforts may have been for naught: It concludes that there is simply not enough time until the universe expires for a defined number of hypothetical primates to produce a faithful reproduction of “Curious George,” let alone “King Lear.” Don’t worry, scientists believe that we still have googol years — 10¹⁰⁰, or 1 followed by 100 zeros — until the lights go out. But when the end does come, the typing monkeys will have made no more progress than their counterparts at the Paignton Zoo, according to Dr. Woodcock.

“It’s not happening,” Dr. Woodcock said in an interview. The odds of a monkey typing out the first word of Hamlet’s famous “To be or not to be” soliloquy on a 30-key keyboard was 1 in 900, he said. Not bad, one could argue — but every new letter offers 29 fresh opportunities for error. The chances of a monkey spelling out “banana” are “approximately 1 in 22 billion,” Dr. Woodcock said.

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The idea for the paper came to Dr. Woodcock during a lunchtime discussion with Jay Falletta, a water-usage researcher at the University of Technology Sydney. The two were working on a project about washing machines, which strain Australia’s extremely limited water resources. They were “a little bit bored” by the task, Dr. Woodcock acknowledged. (Mr. Falletta is a co-author on the new paper.)

If resources for washing clothes are limited, why shouldn’t typing monkeys be similarly constrained? By neglecting to impose a time or monkey limit on the experiment, the infinite monkey theorem essentially contains its own cheat code. Dr. Woodcock, on the other hand, opted for a semblance of reality — or as much reality as a scenario featuring monkeys trying to write in iambic pentameter would allow — in order to say something about the interplay of order and chaos in the real world.

Even if the life span of the universe were extended billions of times, the monkeys would still not accomplish the task, the researchers concluded. Their paper calls the infinite monkey theorem “misleading” in its fundamental assumptions. It is a fitting conclusion, perhaps, for a moment when human ingenuity seems to be crashing hard against natural constraints.

Low as the chances are of a monkey spelling out “banana,” they are still “an order of magnitude which is in the realm of our universe,” Dr. Woodcock said. Not so with longer material such as the children’s classic “Curious George” by Margret Rey and H.A. Rey, which contains about 1,800 words. The chances of a monkey replicating that book are 1 in 10¹⁵⁰⁰⁰ (a 1 followed by 15,000 zeros). And, at nearly 836,000 words, the collected plays of Shakespeare are about 464 times longer than “Curious George.”

“If we replaced every atom in the universe with a universe the size of ours, it would still be orders of magnitude away from making the monkey typing likely to succeed,” Dr. Woodcock said.

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Like other monkey theorem enthusiasts, Dr. Woodcock mentioned a famous episode of “The Simpsons,” in which the crusty plutocrat C. Montgomery Burns tries the experiment, only to fly into a fury when a monkey mistypes the opening sentence of Charles Dickens’s “A Tale of Two Cities.” In reality, the monkey’s achievement (“It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times”) would have been a stunning triumph over randomness.

Outside cartoons, such successes are unlikely. First, there is cosmic death to consider. Many physicists believe that in 10¹⁰⁰ years — a much larger number than it might seem in type — entropy will have caused all the heat in the universe to dissipate. Far away as that moment may be, experts do think it is coming.

Then there’s the availability of monkeys. Of the more than 250 possible species, Dr. Woodcock selected chimpanzees, our closest genomic kin, to mimic the Bard. He enlisted 200,000 — the entire population of chimps currently on Earth — until the end of time. (Optimistically, he did not to plan for the species’ dwindling or extinction. Nor did he consider constraints like the availability of paper or electricity; the study does not specify which platform the monkeys might use.)

Monkeys intent on recreating Shakespeare would also need editors, with a strict reinforcement training regimen that allowed for learning — and a lot of it, since Dr. Woodcock set each monkey’s life span at 30 years. “If it’s cumulative, obviously, you can get somewhere,” said Richard Dawkins, the evolutionary biologist, who discusses the typing monkeys in “The Blind Watchmaker,” his 1986 book about evolution. Unless the typing were “iterative,” though, Dr. Dawkins said in an interview, progress would be impossible.

The new paper has been mocked online because the authors purportedly fail to grapple with infinity. Even the paper’s title, “A numerical evaluation of the Finite Monkeys Theorem,” seems to be a mathematical bait-and-switch. Isn’t infinity a basic condition of the infinite monkey theorem?

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It shouldn’t be, Dr. Woodcock seems to be saying. “The study we did was wholly a finite calculation on a finite problem,” he wrote in an email. “The main point made was just how constrained our universe’s resources are. Mathematicians can enjoy the luxury of infinity as a concept, but if we are to draw meaning from infinite-limit results, we need to know if they have any relevance in our finite universe.”

This conclusion circles back to the French mathematician Borel, who took an unlikely turn into politics, eventually fighting against the Nazis as part of the French Resistance. It was during the war that he introduced an elegant and intuitive law that now bears his name, and which states: “Events with a sufficiently small probability never occur.” That is where Dr. Woodcock lands, too. (Mathematicians who believe the infinite monkey theorem holds true cite two related, minor theorems known as the Borel-Cantelli lemmas, developed in the prewar years.)

The new paper offers a subtle comment on the seemingly unbridled optimism of some proponents of artificial intelligence. Dr. Woodcock and Mr. Falletta note, without truly elaborating, that the monkey problem could be “very pertinent” to today’s debates about artificial intelligence.

For starters, just as the typing monkeys will never write “Twelfth Night” without superhuman editors looking over their shoulders, so increasingly powerful artificial intelligences will require increasingly intensive human input and oversight. “If you live in the real world, you have to do real-world limitation,” said Mr. Anderson, who conducted the 2011 monkey experiment.

There is no free lunch, so to speak, said Eric Werner, a research scientist who runs the Oxford Advanced Research Foundation and has studied various forms of complexity. In a 1994 paper about ants, Dr. Werner laid out a guiding principle that, in his view, applies equally well to typing monkeys and today’s language-learning models: “Complex structures can only be generated by more complex structures.” Lacking constant curation, the result will be a procession of incoherent letters or what has come to be known as “A.I. slop.”

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A monkey will never understand Hamlet’s angst or Falstaff’s bawdy humor. But the limits of A.I. cognition are less clear. “The big question in the industry is when or if A.I. will understand what it is writing,” Mr. Anderson said. “Once that happens, will A.I. be able to surpass Shakespeare in artistic merit and create something as unique as Shakespeare created?”

And when that day comes, “Do we become the monkeys to the A.I.?”

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Anthony Richardson details back injury struggles: ‘I couldn’t even stand up’

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Anthony Richardson details back injury struggles: ‘I couldn’t even stand up’

Indianapolis Colts quarterback Anthony Richardson revealed Wednesday that he’s been dealing with a lower back issue that “might be chronic.”

The second-year pro was ruled out for last week’s game against the New York Giants due to back and foot injuries, though it’s his back that’s the main problem. Richardson recently underwent an MRI that he said revealed a “disc thing,” and his status for the Colts’ regular-season finale against the Jaguars remains in question.

Colts coach Shane Steichen initially said last week that Richardson was “really sore” before adding after the Giants loss that Richardson was dealing with back spasms. Richardson provided even more detail Wednesday, when he was an estimated “DNP” on the injury report on a day where the Colts didn’t officially practice but held a walkthrough.

“Last week was tough. I couldn’t even stand up on Tuesday, could barely even walk, crawling around the house,” Richardson said. “But I’m here. I’m standing now. If I can do everything in my power to get on the field, I’mma do so. That was my mindset last week as well, but I could barely move.”

Asked if he’s ever dealt with back spasms before, Richardson said “he’s been dealing with stuff like this since eighth grade, but it’s never been this severe.” Richardson said his back issues stem from a “disc thing” that he’s had for a while and it got “triggered” last week.

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Richardson said he thought his back pain stemmed from frequently working out and running around, but now that he’s been made aware it’s a disc problem, he’s hopeful that he’ll be able to treat and manage it.

“It might be chronic, but there’s plenty of ways to prevent it (from) going on in the future,” Richardson said. “Now that I know what it is, I can find certain ways to stay out of certain positions and just make sure I’m healthy, 100 percent.”

Richardson added that he doesn’t believe he’ll need surgery.

“They say it’s not that severe,” Richardson said. “But God willing, I hope it never gets that severe or to that point. I just hope I can just keep playing throughout the rest of my career with no problems.”

Richardson is arguably the most athletic QB in NFL Scouting Combine history, which is a big reason the Colts selected him with the No. 4 pick in 2023 despite just 13 starts at Florida. However, Richardson has missed three games this season and 16 games through his first two NFL seasons due to shoulder, back and oblique injuries, as well as a concussion.

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The 22-year-old was also benched for two games this season because he wasn’t focused enough during his preparation, according to Steichen. Richardson has gone 3-2 as the starter since returning to the starting lineup, and he’s 6-5 this season. He’s thrown eight touchdowns against 12 interceptions, and his 47.7 completion percentage ranks last in the NFL. Richardson has also scored six rushing touchdowns.

Richardson said he’s aware of the critics, many of whom have labeled him injury-prone, and that they have a right to their opinion since he’s missed a significant amount of games. He added that all he can do is work hard and try his best to be available in the future.

“Hopefully, next year — or this week coming up if I’m able to go – hopefully, I don’t miss any games and I can just stay healthy and just play,” Richardson said.

Required reading

(Photo: Luke Hales / Getty Images)

 

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