Lifestyle
Fashion’s Historic Shake-Up
Pierpaolo Piccioli for
Balenciaga
Louise Trotter for
Bottega Veneta
Matthieu Blazy for
Chanel
Jonathan Anderson for
Dior
Duran Lantink for
Jean Paul Gaultier
Simone Bellotti for
Jil Sander
Jake Mccollough and Lazaro Hernandez for
Loewe
Glenn Martens for
Maison Margiela
Miguel Castro Freitas for
Mugler
This fall, a dozen of the biggest brands in fashion will have new talent at the helm. What makes them tick?
Welcome to the season of seismic fashion change. The tectonic plates of the industry are shifting, remaking the landscape in a way that hasn’t been seen since … well, ever. This year almost 20 fashion houses, including some of the most famous, influential names (Chanel, Dior, Gucci, Balenciaga), appointed new designers, meaning the clothes you see in stores or on the street, or when you’re immersed in the endless digital scroll, will soon be very different.
After all, each designer will be trying to make their mark, break through the noise and redefine the very idea of chic, not to mention the look of the decade. That’s the opportunity. Those are the stakes.
Yet for all the change taking place, the actual change makers seem, at least on the surface, very much the same.
Of the 13 designers whose work we will see this season, only one is a woman — Louise Trotter, at Bottega Veneta. A dozen are white men, and 10 are between the ages of 40 and 47. Ten are Europeans and three are Americans. Despite the clear need to bring imagination to the catwalk, there seems to be a general lack of imagination when it comes to deciding whom to hire.
To get below the very similar surface, we asked this season’s new guard a set of simple questions — not about their plans for their brands but about their taste: their personal likes and dislikes when it comes to the stuff that surrounds them and the choices they make.
Who are the men and woman who will shape how you dress for the foreseeable future? Read on.
Pierpaolo Piccioli for
Balenciaga
Mr. Piccioli, 57, comes to Balenciaga after 25 years at Valentino, 16 of them as creative director, where he was widely recognized for his bold use of color, his humanity (he regularly brought his entire couture atelier onto the runway for a bow) and his lack of grandiosity. (At Valentino he eschewed living in Rome to stay in the small seaside town where his family grew up.) Mr. Piccioli started his gig at Balenciaga by working alongside Demna, then its creative director, a rarity in fashion (two creative directors overlapping!) but one intended to create an easy transition for the team.
I feel best wearing: My uniform — black tee, black pants
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: I look at the way they wear the outfit.
I skimp on when buying: I never skimp.
I splurge on: I always splurge.
I am never caught wearing: Cowboy boots
Item I will never give up: My coral pendants on red silk ribbons.
Louise Trotter for
Bottega Veneta
Ms. Trotter, 55, is the first woman to lead Bottega Veneta, the Italian fashion house known for its intrecciato woven handbags, in more than 20 years — and only the second since the house was founded in 1966. A Brit and the mother of three, she was also the first woman to become creative director of Lacoste, which she ran for five years before taking over Carven, a label she put back on the fashion map. Now she is bringing her bent for minimalist luxury and dry wit to Milan.
I feel best wearing: Men’s wear
I splurge on: Vintage watches and jewelry
I am never caught wearing: You can hold me to never wearing paisley.
Item I will never let go of: My grandmother’s wedding ring
Favorite piece of art: It would have to be a portrait. A Lucian Freud, a Franz Gertsch, a Celia Paul.
Favorite cologne: My husband’s
Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla! I have a test in a gelateria. If they can master vanilla, they can do anything.
Favorite pen: I use pencils much more. My current pencil is a Black Wing 602 from Japan.
Mr. Rider, 44, didn’t have a traditional fashion education — he went to Brown University — but an early stint at Balenciaga under Nicolas Ghesquière followed by 10 years at Celine under Phoebe Philo and six years as creative director of Polo Ralph Lauren prepared him for his new post. He brought Celine back to the official runway after Hedi Slimane, his immediate predecessor, decided he would be beholden to no schedule but his own, and even brought Anna Wintour back to the front row, Mr. Slimane having banned her from the house. It’s the new open-door policy.
I feel best wearing: Shorts
I am never caught wearing: Sunscreen
Item I will never give up: Dad’s ring
Favorite cologne: Don’t wear it
Favorite stationery: Don’t have any
Favorite ice cream flavor: Coffee
Favorite music for working out: Anything by Timbaland
Favorite flower for saying thank you: Wildflowers
Matthieu Blazy for
Chanel
Mr. Blazy, 41, snagged the most coveted job in fashion in December after a six-month search by Chanel. He will be only the fourth designer in Chanel’s history, tasked with transforming the brand for a new generation. Most recently he did exactly that for Bottega Veneta, with a fashion sleight of hand that made leather look like denim — and leather look like cotton, and leather look like flannel. Now, as he comes home to Paris, he is expected to work a similar alchemy on the pearls, camellias and CCs of the house that Coco built and Karl Lagerfeld redefined.
I feel best wearing: Nothing
I am never caught wearing: A printed T-shirt
Item I will never give up: The broken Bulova Accutron watch my father gave me
Favorite piece of art: “The Three Graces” by Lucas Cranach the Elder
Favorite cologne: Vetiver
Favorite ice cream flavor: Stracciatella
Favorite bed linen: Always white
Favorite music for working out: 1990s Euro dance
Jonathan Anderson for
Dior
Mr. Anderson, 40, made fashion history when he became the first Dior designer since Christian Dior himself to be in charge of both women’s and men’s wear for the house. (Moreover, Mr. Dior dabbled only in men’s pieces and never did a full collection, so in some ways Mr. Anderson is a pioneer.) An 11-year stint at Loewe, where he took the brand from largely irrelevant to one of the hottest names in fashion, with an estimated $2 billion in revenue, convinced LVMH, which owns Dior, that Mr. Anderson was the man to unite the two sides of the couture house. If that wasn’t a big enough gig, he’s still moonlighting as Luca Guadagnino’s costume designer.
I feel best wearing: Nothing
I skimp on when buying: Clothing
I splurge on: Art
I am never caught wearing: Florals
Item I will never let go of: A navy crew-neck sweater
Favorite piece of art: Paul Thek, “Untitled (Diver)”
Favorite cologne: Cheap body deodorant
Favorite stationery: Lined Paper
Favorite dinner party main course: Cottage pie
Favorite car: Land Rover Defender 90
Favorite music for working out: Mash-up of SoundCloud bad remixes
Eyebrows were raised when the mononymic Demna, 44, announced that after a decade, he was leaving Balenciaga, the fashion house he had taken from ivory tower elegance to pop culture phenomenon, to attempt a turnaround at Gucci. The Georgian-born designer, who will split his time between Los Angeles and Milan, now has to prove he can achieve the rare feat of reinventing himself and his (new) house, not merely repeat himself. Fans like Kim Kardashian, Nicole Kidman and Michelle Yeoh will be watching.
I feel best wearing: My own clothes.
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: Colors
I skimp on when buying: I don’t skimp on much.
Item I will never let go of: My wedding ring.
Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla
Favorite cologne: Gucci Envy
Favorite dinner party main course: No idea
Favorite cocktail to order at a bar: Manhattan
Favorite shampoo: Head & Shoulders
Favorite music for working out: I listen to political podcasts when I work out.
Duran Lantink for
Jean Paul Gaultier
Mr. Lantink, 38, founded his namesake label in 2019, a year after Janelle Monáe wore his “vagina” pants in her “Pynk” music video. The Dutch designer won the Andam Special Prize in 2023 and LVMH’s Karl Lagerfeld Special Jury Prize in 2024, but it was a stunt during his fall 2025 ready-to-wear show — putting a topless man in a prosthetic female torso and vice versa — that made him internet famous. He shares a glee in thumbing his nose at propriety with the Gaultier founder, not to mention a facility for using fabric to reshape the body.
I feel best wearing: White
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: Shoes
I skimp on when buying: Clothes
I splurge on: Books
I am never caught wearing: Latex
Item I will never give up: A 1990s White & Lethal trash shirt by Walter Van Beirendonck that I have since the age of 12
Favorite piece of art: “Fountain” by Marcel Duchamp
Favorite cologne: Brutus by Orto Parisi
Favorite car: Bike
Favorite music for working out: I play tennis, so no music
Simone Bellotti for
Jil Sander
No one ever thought the Swiss label Bally would be a must-see of Milan Fashion Week, but that’s what happened after Mr. Bellotti, 47, took over in 2022 after 16 years behind the scenes at Gucci. At Bally, his penchant for accessorizing rigorous tailoring with strawberries and cowbells demanded that everyone look twice and should serve him well at Jil Sander, where he takes over from Luke and Lucie Meier.
I feel best wearing: Denim and a blue wool sweater
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: The face and shoes
I am never caught wearing: Skinny pants
Favorite piece of art: “Study after Velázquez’s Portrait of Pope Innocent X” by Francis Bacon
Favorite pen: An old Parker Ciselè in silver from my father
Flowers for saying thank you: For everything, buttercups
Favorite music for working out: Always music, but not for workout
Jack Mccollough and Lazaro Hernandez for
Loewe
Mr. McCollough and Mr. Hernandez, both 47, became the latest Americans in Paris when they were handed the reins of Loewe earlier this year. As part of the deal, they stepped down from Proenza Schouler, the New York label they founded in 2002 (just after graduating from Parsons School of Design) and upped stakes for France, the better to concentrate on Loewe, where they are following in the (large) footsteps of Jonathan Anderson.
I feel best wearing: J: My old clothes. L: New clothes.
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: J/L: Shoes.
I am never caught wearing: J: Jewelry. L: Flip-flops.
Item I will never give up: L: A small gold chain my mother gave me as a kid that I never take off. J: Our farmhouse in Massachusetts.
Favorite cocktail to order at a bar: J/L: Martini.
Favorite pen: J/L: Pentel mechanical pencil 0.5.
Favorite car: J: Vintage Land Rover Defender. L: Vintage Toyota Land Cruiser.
Glenn Martens for
Maison Margiela
Like Martin Margiela, Glenn Martens, 42, is Belgian. Like Martin Margiela, he went to the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Antwerp. (Mr. Martens graduated first in his class.) Like Mr. Margiela, he has a propensity for experimentalism and challenging classical ideas of beauty. Moreover, he is not just taking over the house that Mr. Margiela built, he is following in the footsteps of John Galliano, the most recent creative director, and doing double duty at Diesel, which he also designs.
I feel best wearing: Black T-shirt and black denim
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: Shoes
I skimp on when buying: I buy my deodorant at the supermarket.
I splurge on: Food and drink
I am never caught wearing: Socklets
Item I will never give up: My jewelry: a ring that was my mothers that she wore her whole life, even when she gave birth to my brother and me; another ring that was my dad’s engagement ring, which he received from my mother; and necklaces and trinkets from friends and past lovers. I never take any of them off.
Favorite shampoo: Whatever stops balding
Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookie Dough
Miguel Castro Freitas for
Mugler
Mr. Castro Freitas, 45, was catapulted from unknown to must-know overnight when he was chosen to succeed Casey Cadwallader at Mugler, the house that big shoulders, bigger spectacles and a perfume called Angel built. Still, the Portuguese designer and Central Saint Martins grad has Dior (under John Galliano), Saint Laurent and Dries Van Noten on his résumé.
I feel best wearing: Shorts
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: Shoes
I am never caught wearing: Red
Item I will never let go of: A black T-shirt
Favorite dinner party main course: Roasted chicken and fingerling potatoes, with lots of garlic, onions and herbs.
Favorite music for working out: Disco or house music
Favorite flowers for saying thank you: A combination of different seasonal flowers, specially if chosen from Debeaulieu, my favorite flower boutique in Paris.
Favorite joke: Current politics
The first Versace creative director who is not actually a Versace, Mr. Vitale, 41, comes to the fashion house after 15 years at Miu Miu, most recently as design director under Miuccia Prada during its period of explosive growth. His experience working with Mrs. P should stand him in good stead at Versace, since the Prada Group acquired the brand with the Medusa logo earlier this year.
I feel best wearing: It’s not that I feel best wearing them, but it takes only one garment to feel dressed, like a pair of socks or maybe a few rings and an earring.
I skimp on: Most things
I splurge on: Gestures. The memory of the response outlasts any object. Admittedly, I spend most money on flowers, especially strong smelling ones like lily of the valley or helichrysum italicum.
I am never caught wearing: A watch
Favorite cologne: I don’t really wear it. I prefer to scent the things around me — bedsheets, underwear, napkins — so I end up creating a kind of personal fragrance from the mix of everything in my space.
Favorite piece of art: A statue at Museo Archeologico Nazionale di Napoli, the Farnese Hercules, which I’m reluctant to even think of as art. The beauty is that it’s just there, like a God among men. It’s Hercules but a little relaxed with a quiet melancholy about him.
Favorite pen: Black Papermate Flair, medium, for both sketching and writing.
Favorite cocktail to order at a bar: I used to work at a bar in Brera called Jamaica — no frills, just a good old-fashioned bar, so I appreciate the simplicity of a vodka soda. Whichever vodka, whichever soda water, it’s impossible to mess up.
Favorite flowers for saying thank you: In the last few weeks I’ve been sending chamomile flowers. There’s nothing grand about chamomile, so it feels like a very honest gesture — quite naked and vulnerable, actually, but that makes it an earnest way to say “Sincerely, thank you.”
Lifestyle
Baz Luhrmann will make you fall in love with Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley in Las Vegas in Aug. 1970.
NEON
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“You are my favorite customer,” Baz Luhrmann tells me on a recent Zoom call from the sunny Chateau Marmont in Hollywood. The director is on a worldwide blitz to promote his new film, EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert — which opens wide this week — and he says this, not to flatter me, but because I’ve just called his film a miracle.
See, I’ve never cared a lick about Elvis Presley, who would have turned 91 in January, had he not died in 1977 at the age of 42. Never had an inkling to listen to his music, never seen any of his films, never been interested in researching his life or work. For this millennial, Presley was a fossilized, mummified relic from prehistory — like a woolly mammoth stuck in the La Brea Tar Pits — and I was mostly indifferent about seeing 1970s concert footage when I sat down for an early IMAX screening of EPiC.
By the end of its rollicking, exhilarating 90 minutes, I turned to my wife and said, “I think I’m in love with Elvis Presley.”
“I’m not trying to sell Elvis,” Luhrmann clarifies. “But I do think that the most gratifying thing is when someone like you has the experience you’ve had.”
Elvis made much more of an imprint on a young Luhrmann; he watched the King’s movies while growing up in New South Wales, Australia in the 1960s, and he stepped to 1972’s “Burning Love” as a young ballroom dancer. But then, like so many others, he left Elvis behind. As a teenager, “I was more Bowie and, you know, new wave and Elton and all those kinds of musical icons,” he says. “I became a big opera buff.”
Luhrmann only returned to the King when he decided to make a movie that would take a sweeping look at America in the 1950s, ’60s, and ’70s — which became his 2022 dramatized feature, Elvis, starring Austin Butler. That film, told in the bedazzled, kaleidoscopic style that Luhrmann is famous for, cast Presley as a tragic figure; it was framed and narrated by Presley’s notorious manager, Colonel Tom Parker, portrayed by a conniving and heavily made-up Tom Hanks. The dark clouds of business exploitation, the perils of fame, and an early demise hang over the singer’s heady rise and fall.
It was a divisive movie. Some praised Butler’s transformative performance and the director’s ravishing style; others experienced it as a nauseating 2.5-hour trailer. Reviewing it for Fresh Air, Justin Chang said that “Luhrmann’s flair for spectacle tends to overwhelm his basic story sense,” and found the framing device around Col. Parker (and Hanks’ “uncharacteristically grating” acting) to be a fatal flaw.
Personally, I thought it was the greatest thing Luhrmann had ever made, a perfect match between subject and filmmaker. It reminded me of Oliver Stone’s breathless, Shakespearean tragedy about Richard Nixon (1995’s Nixon), itself an underrated masterpiece. Yet somehow, even for me, it failed to light a fire of interest in Presley himself — and by design, I now realize after seeing EPiC, it omitted at least one major aspect of Elvis’ appeal: the man was charmingly, endearingly funny.
As seen in Luhrmann’s new documentary, on stage, in the midst of a serious song, Elvis will pull a face, or ad lib a line about his suit being too tight to get on his knees, or sing for a while with a bra (which has been flung from the audience) draped over his head. He’s constantly laughing and ribbing and keeping his musicians, and himself, entertained. If Elvis was a tragedy, EPiC is a romantic comedy — and Presley’s seduction of us, the audience, is utterly irresistible.
Unearthing old concert footage
It was in the process of making Elvis that Luhrmann discovered dozens of long-rumored concert footage tapes in a Kansas salt mine, where Warner Bros. stores some of their film archives. Working with Peter Jackson’s team at the post-production facility Park Road Post, who did the miraculous restoration of Beatles rehearsal footage for Jackson’s 2021 Disney+ series, Get Back, they burnished 50-plus hours of 55-year-old celluloid into an eye-popping sheen with enough visual fidelity to fill an IMAX screen. In doing so, they resurrected a woolly mammoth. The film — which is a creative amalgamation of takes from rehearsals and concerts that span from 1970 to 1972 — places the viewer so close to the action that we can viscerally feel the thumping of the bass and almost sense that we’ll get flecked with the sweat dripping off Presley’s face.
This footage was originally shot for the 1970 concert film Elvis: That’s The Way It Is, and its 1972 sequel, Elvis on Tour, which explains why these concerts were shot like a Hollywood feature: wide shots on anamorphic 35mm and with giant, ultra-bright Klieg lights — which, Luhrmann explains, “are really disturbing. So [Elvis] was very apologetic to the audience, because the audience felt a bit more self conscious than they would have been at a normal show. They were actually making a movie, they weren’t just shooting a concert.”
Luhrmann chose to leave in many shots where camera operators can be seen running around with their 16mm cameras for close-ups, “like they’re in the Vietnam War trying to get the best angles,” because we live in an era where we’re used to seeing cameras everywhere and Luhrmann felt none of the original directors’ concern about breaking the illusion. Those extreme close-ups, which were achieved by operators doing math and manually pulling focus, allow us to see even the pores on Presley’s skin — now projected onto a screen the size of two buildings.
The sweat that comes out of those pores is practically a character in the film. Luhrmann marvels at how much Presley gave in every single rehearsal and every single concert performance. Beyond the fact that “he must have superhuman strength,” Luhrmann says, “He becomes the music. He doesn’t mark stuff. He just becomes the music, and then no one knows what he’s going to do. The band do not know what he’s going to do, so they have to keep their eyes on him all the time. They don’t know how many rounds he’s going to do in ‘Suspicious Minds.’ You know, he conducts them with his entire being — and that’s what makes him unique.”
Elvis Presley in Las Vegas in Aug. 1970.
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It’s not the only thing. The revivified concerts in EPiC are a potent argument that Elvis wasn’t just a superior live performer to the Beatles (who supplanted him as the kings of pop culture in the 1960s), but possibly the greatest live performer of all time. His sensual, magmatic charisma on stage, the way he conducts the large band and choir, the control he has over that godlike gospel voice, and the sorcerer’s power he has to hold an entire audience in the palm of his hands (and often to kiss many of its women on the lips) all come across with stunning, electrifying urgency.
Shaking off the rust and building a “dreamscape”
The fact that, on top of it all, he is effortlessly funny and goofy is, in Luhrmann’s mind, essential to the magic of Elvis. While researching for Elvis, he came to appreciate how insecure Presley was as a kid — growing up as the only white boy in a poor Black neighborhood, and seeing his father thrown into jail for passing a bad check. “Inside, he felt very less-than,” says Luhrmann, “but he grows up into a physical Greek god. I mean, we’ve forgotten how beautiful he was. You see it in the movie; he is a beautiful looking human being. And then he moves. And he doesn’t learn dance steps — he just manifests that movement. And then he’s got the voice of Orpheus, and he can take a song like ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ and make it into a gospel power ballad.
“So he’s like a spiritual being. And I think he’s imposing. So the goofiness, the humor is about disarming people, making them get past the image — like he says — and see the man. That’s my own theory.”
Elvis has often been second-classed in the annals of American music because he didn’t write his own songs, but Luhrmann insists that interpretation is its own invaluable art form. “Orpheus interpreted the music as well,” the director says.
In this way — as in their shared maximalist, cape-and-rhinestones style — Luhrmann and Elvis are a match made in Graceland. Whether he’s remixing Shakespeare as a ’90s punk music video in Romeo + Juliet or adding hip-hop beats to The Great Gatsby, Luhrmann is an artist who loves to take what was vibrantly, shockingly new in another century and make it so again.
Elvis Presley in Las Vegas in Aug. 1970.
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Luhrmann says he likes to take classic work and “shake off the rust and go, Well, when it was written, it wasn’t classical. When it was created, it was pop, it was modern, it was in the moment. That’s what I try and do.”
To that end, he conceived EPiC as “an imagined concert,” liberally building sequences from various nights, sometimes inserting rehearsal takes into a stage performance (ecstatically so in the song “Polk Salad Annie”), and adding new musical layers to some of the songs. Working with his music producer, Jamieson Shaw, he backed the King’s vocals on “Oh Happy Day” with a new recording of a Black gospel choir in Nashville. “So that’s an imaginative leap,” says Luhrmann. “It’s kind of a dreamscape.”
On some tracks, like “Burning Love,” new string arrangements give the live performances extra verve and cinematic depth. Luhrmann and his music team also radically remixed multiple Elvis songs into a new number, “A Change of Reality,” which has the King repeatedly asking “Do you miss me?” over a buzzing bass line and a syncopated beat.
I didn’t miss Elvis before I saw EPiC — but after seeing the film twice now, I truly do.
Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: Sick of swiping, I tried speed dating. The results surprised me
“You kinda have this Wednesday Addams vibe going on.”
I shrieked.
I was wearing my best armor: a black dress that accentuated my curves, a striped bolero to cover the arms I’ve resented for years and black platform sandals displaying ruby toes. My dark hair was in wild, voluminous curls and my sultry makeup was finished with an inviting Chanel rouge lip.
I would’ve preferred the gentleman at the speed dating event had likened my efforts to, at least, Morticia, a grown woman. But in this crowd of men and women ages ranging from roughly 21 to 40, I suppose my baby face gave me away.
My mind flitted back to a conversation I had with my physical therapist about modern love: Dating in L.A. has become monotonous.
The apps were oversaturated and underwhelming. And it seemed more difficult than ever to naturally meet someone in person.
She told me about her recent endeavor in speed dating: events sponsoring timed one-on-one “dates” with multiple candidates. I applauded her bravery, but the conversation had mostly slipped my mind.
Two years later, I had reached my boiling point with Jesse, a guy I met online (naturally) a few months prior who was good on paper but bad in practice.
Knowing my best friend was in a similar situationship, I found myself suggesting a curious social alternative.
Much of my knowledge of speed dating came from cinema. It usually involved a down-on-her-luck hopeless romantic or a mature workaholic attempting to be more spontaneous in her dating life, sitting across from a montage of caricatures: the socially-challenged geek stumbling through his special interests; the arrogant businessman diverting most of his attention to his Blackberry; the pseudo-suave ladies’ man whose every word comes across rehearsed and saccharine.
Nevertheless, I was desperate for a good distraction. So we purchased tickets to an event for straight singles happening a few hours later.
Walking into Oldfield’s Liquor Room, I noticed that it looked like a normal bar, all dark wood and dim lighting. Except its patrons flanked the perimeter of the space, speaking in hushed tones, sizing up the opposite sex.
Suddenly in need of some liquid courage, we rushed back to the car to indulge in the shooters we bought on our way to the venue — three for $6. I had already surrendered $30 for my ticket and I was not paying for Los Angeles-priced cocktails. Ten minutes later, we were ready to mingle.
The bar’s back patio was decked out with tea lights and potted palm plants. House-pop music put me in a groove as I perused the picnic tables covered with conversation starters like “What’s your favorite sexual position?” Half-amused and half-horrified, I decided to use my own material.
We found our seats as the host began introductions. Each date would last two minutes — a chime would alert the men when it was time to move clockwise to the next seat. I exchanged hopeful glances with the women around me.
The bell rang, and I felt my buzz subside in spades as my first date sat down. This was really happening.
Soft brown eyes greeted me. He was polite and responsive, giving adequate answers to my questions but rarely returning the inquiry. I sensed he was looking through me and not at me, as if he had decided I wasn’t his type and was biding his time until the bell rang. I didn’t take it personally.
Bachelor No. 2 stood well over six feet with caramel-brown hair and emerald eyes. He oozed confidence and warmth when he spoke about how healing from an accident a few years prior inspired him to become a physical therapist.
I tried not to focus on how his story was nearly word-perfect to the one I heard him give the woman before me. He offered to show me a large surgery scar, rolling up his right sleeve to reveal the pale pink flesh — and a well-trained bicep. Despite his obvious good looks and small-town charm, something suspicious gnawed at me. I would later learn he had left the same effect on most of the women.
My nose received Bachelor No. 3 before my eyes. His spiced cologne quickly engulfing my senses. He had a larger-than-life presence, seeming to be a character himself, so I asked for his favorite current watch.
“I love ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty,’” he actually said.
“Really?”
“Oh yeah, it’s my favorite. Oh, and ‘Wednesday.’ You kinda have this Wednesday Addams vibe going on.”
I was completely thrown to hear this 40-something man’s favorite programs centered around teenage girls, and by his standards, I resembled one of them. Where was the host with the damn bell?
Although a few conversations clearly left impressions, most of the dates morphed into remnants of information like fintech, middle sibling, allergic to cats, etc. Perhaps two minutes was too short to spark genuine chemistry.
After a quick lap around the post-date mingling, we practically raced to the car. A millisecond after the doors closed, my friend said, “I think I’m going to call him.” I knew she wasn’t referring to any of the men we met tonight. The last few hours were all in vain. “And you should call Jesse.”
I scoffed at her audacity.
When I arrived home and called him, it only rang once.
The following three hours of witty banter and cheeky innuendos were bliss until the call ended on a low note, and I remembered why I tried speed dating in the first place.
Jesse and I had great chemistry but were ultimately incompatible. He preferred living life within his comfort zone while I craved adventure and variety. He couldn’t see past right now, and I was too busy planning the future to live in the moment.
Still, in a three-hour call, long before the topic of commitment soured things, we laughed at the mundanity of our day, traded wildest dreams for embarrassing anecdotes, and voiced amorous intentions that would make Aphrodite’s cheeks heat.
Why couldn’t I have had a conversation like that with someone at the event?
It’s possible I was hoping to find the perfect replica of my relationship with Jesse. But when I had the opportunity to meet someone new, I reserved my humor and my empathy.
Also, despite knowing Jesse and I weren’t a good match, I thought we had a “chance connection” that I needed to protect. In reality, if I had shown up to speed dating as my complete self, that would have been more than enough to stir sparks with a new flame.
It would be several more weeks before I was ready to release my attachment to Jesse. But when I did, I had a better appreciation for myself and my capacity for love.
The author is a multidisciplinary writer and mother based in Encino.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
Editor’s note: On April 3, L.A. Affairs Live, our new storytelling competition show, will feature real dating stories from people living in the Greater Los Angeles area. Tickets for our first event will be on sale starting Tuesday.
Lifestyle
In reversal, Warner Bros. jilts Netflix for Paramount
Warner Bros. Discovery said Thursday that it prefers the latest offer from rival Hollywood studio Paramount over a bid it accepted from Netflix.
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The Warner Bros. Discovery board announced late Thursday afternoon that Paramount’s sweetened bid to buy the entire company is “superior” to an $83 billion deal it had struck with Netflix for the purchase of its streaming services, studios, and intellectual property.
Netflix says it is pulling out of the contest rather than try to top Paramount’s offer.
“We’ve always been disciplined, and at the price required to match Paramount Skydance’s latest offer, the deal is no longer financially attractive, so we are declining to match the Paramount Skydance bid,” the streaming giant said in a statement.
Warner had rejected so many offers from Paramount that it seemed as though it would be a fruitless endeavor. Speaking on the red carpet for the BAFTA film awards last weekend, Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos dared Paramount to stop making its case publicly and start ponying up cash.
‘If you wanna try and outbid our deal … just make a better deal. Just put a better deal on the table,” Sarandos told the trade publication Deadline Hollywood.
Netflix promised that Warner Bros. would operate as an independent studio and keep showing its movies in theaters.
But the political realities, combined with Paramount’s owners’ relentless drive to expand their entertainment holdings, seem to have prevailed.
Paramount previously bid for all of Warner — including its cable channels such as CNN, TBS, and Discovery — in a deal valued at $108 billion. Earlier this week, Paramount unveiled a fresh proposal increasing its bid by a dollar a share.
On Thursday, hours before the Warner announcement, Sarandos headed to the White House to meet Trump administration officials to make his case for the deal.

The meetings, leaked Wednesday to political and entertainment media outlets, were confirmed by a White House official who spoke on condition he not be named, as he was not authorized to speak about them publicly.
President Trump was not among those who met with Sarandos, the official said.
While Netflix’s courtship of Warner stirred antitrust concerns, the Paramount deal is likely to face a significant antitrust review from the U.S. Justice Department, given the combination of major entertainment assets. Paramount owns CBS and the streamer Paramount Plus, in addition to Comedy Central, Nickelodeon and other cable channels.
The offer from Paramount CEO David Ellison relies on the fortune of his father, Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison. And David Ellison has argued to shareholders that his company would have a smoother path to regulatory approval.
Not unnoticed: the Ellisons’ warm ties to Trump world.

Larry Ellison is a financial backer of the president.
David Ellison was photographed offering a MAGA-friendly thumbs-up before the State of the Union address with one of the president’s key Congressional allies: U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, a Republican.
Trump has praised changes to CBS News made under David Ellison’s pick for editor in chief, Bari Weiss.
The chair of the Federal Communications Commission, Brendan Carr, told Semafor Wednesday that he was pleased by the news division’s direction under Weiss. She has criticized much of the mainstream media as being too reflexively liberal and anti-Trump.

“I think they’re doing a great job,” Carr said at a Semafor conference on trust and the media Wednesday. As Semafor noted, Carr previously lauded CBS by saying it “agreed to return to more fact-based, unbiased reporting.”
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