Washington

Advice | Carolyn Hax: Fiancé secretly tracks ‘gold digger’s’ contribution to shared home

Published

2 years ago

July 27, 2024

Advice | Carolyn Hax: Fiancé secretly tracks ‘gold digger’s’ contribution to shared home

Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: My fiancé and I bought a house late last year, with help from his parents. Though we both make good salaries, he comes from a rich family, and I was raised by a single mom. His parents insisted on giving us the money for our down payment and closing costs, and my mom gave us a dishwasher, which was very generous of all of them and also appreciated.

We have been working like mad on fixing the house up to get it ready for our wedding. Neither of us is very experienced with DIY, so it’s been a difficult, stressful process and caused some tension between us. We were discussing what kind of flooring to get for the front hall, and I wanted the more expensive but easier-to-work-with stuff. We got into a fight that escalated to the point of him accusing me of being a gold digger who was after his money. I was in shock and asked him why he would think that, and he said, “Because you told me about how you grew up poor,” and he’s had the thought in the back of his head since we bought the house. He told me he has a spreadsheet where he keeps track of how much he’s spent on me versus how much I’ve spent on him and he has spent thousands more on me, not even counting the money his parents gave us.

I told him that didn’t sound right since we split all costs 50/50, and he admitted it included my engagement ring. It is a family heirloom his great-aunt gave him, but he was counting the value of it.

Later he apologized, but I’m still hurt and angry. I feel paranoid that maybe his family said something. I’m really sad that all this time I’ve been loving him and thinking he was wonderful, and he’s been thinking this way about me and even documenting it so he could throw it in my face.

He’s said the spreadsheet is just an “anxiety thing” and he loves me and wants us to work on fixing things. I think I do, too, but then I think of what he said and I get overwhelmed. How can I get over this?

“Gold Digger”: Whoo. I don’t know. I don’t know that I could.

He not only has kept the thought in the back of his mind for months? years? that you have poor values and ulterior motives and can’t be trusted, but kept records in the event he needs to prove it.

I wish I had a more hopeful answer for you. But he either lashed out impulsively and didn’t mean it, or accidentally told the truth — those are the only two choices — and the first is a stretch when there’s a spreadsheet as evidence of the second.

Plus, the first is so vicious in its own right.

He says he loves you, okay. But trusts? Respects? Believes in?

Does he feel lucky every day to be the person you chose?

Best case, “just an ‘anxiety thing,’” still casts you as a threat to be controlled. So the “work on fixing things” doesn’t sound like DIY, but instead couples counseling at the least.

The family paranoia, by the way, is wasted stress — each of you stands on your own authority in choosing your partner, 100 percent, or you’re not ready to be anyone’s partner. If he’s that susceptible to their influence, then the problem is still between the two of you, so that’s where your attention belongs.

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Washington

Tulip Day Washington draws buzz as sign-up site goes down

Published

13 hours ago

March 2, 2026

Press Room

WASHINGTON – Coming up this month, spring’s most colorful new event: Tulip Day Washington.

What we know:

On March 15, 2026, Tulip Day Washington will transform DC’s National Mall into a vibrant tulip-picking garden beautiful views of U.S. Capitol

This one-day event will take place from 11:15 AM – 4:15 PM, offering a floral showcase of approximately 150,000 tulips; visitors are invited to pick their choice of 10 tulips for free upon arrival.

Dig deeper:

The registration site for Tulip Day is currently down, showing users “This site is currently unavailable. If you’re the owner of this website, please contact your hosting provider to get this resolved.”

Users on social media say the event may be sold out.

Check tulipday.eu for updates.

The backstory:

The event is organized by the Embassy of the Netherlands and Royal Anthos, a Dutch trade association, in honor of America’s 250th birthday. The display of tulips will be in the shape of the number 250.

The bulbs come from the Netherlands, but are being grown in Virginia and New Jersey.

These won’t be the first tulips on the National Mall, however. The Floral Library, also known as the Tulip Library, features 93 beds of flowers near the Tidal Basin. The Floral Library was established in 1969, and is maintained by the National Park Services. These flowers, though, are to be enjoyed only – not to be picked.

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Washington

PHOTOS: Long Beach State Dirtbags vs. Washington State, Baseball

Published

1 day ago

March 2, 2026

Press Room

PHOTOS: Long Beach State Dirtbags vs. Washington State, Baseball

The562’s coverage of Dirtbags Baseball for the 2026 season is sponsored by P2S, Inc. Visit p2sinc.com to learn more.

Long Beach State dropped a 9-7 decision against Washington State on Sunday afternoon, closing out a busy weekend on Bohl Diamond at Blair Field.

The visiting Cougars took the lead for good in the eighth inning when Long Beach Poly grad Ryan Skjonsby delivered a game-winning two-run single with two outs and the bases loaded. Skjonsby was 2-for-4 with a walk, a run scored and three RBIs for Washington State in their road victory.

For the Dirtbags, catcher Damon Valdez scored twice and had a key two-run single in the sixth to help lead a Long Beach comeback. Trevor Goldenetz had a pair of hits at the top of the order, including an RBI triple. Camden Gasser walked twice and singled, improving his on-base percentage to .574 on the season.

Long Beach State (4-7) will be back in action at home on Tuesday with an exhibition match against Waseda University from Japan. The Dirtbags will then visit San Diego State on Wednesday and open Big West play at UC Santa Barbara this weekend.

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Washington

Week Ahead in Washington: March 1

Published

2 days ago

March 1, 2026

Press Room

WASHINGTON (Gray DC) – Operation “Epic Fury” — the weekend military operations carried out by the U.S. and Israel against targets in Iran — tops the agenda for Congress as lawmakers return to Washington.

Sunday, President Donald Trump said the new leadership in Iran wants to talk to the Trump Administration.

Democrats in both chambers called for Congress to return as soon as possible for classified briefings on Iran, followed by a move to vote on the War Powers Act. The Constitution gives Congress the power to declare war on another country.

Congress’ return to Washington was originally delayed due to the start of the 2026 midterm elections cycle.

Tuesday, voters in Arkansas, North Carolina and Texas head to the polls for primary elections.

North Carolina and Texas are drawing significant attention, as both states are facing congressional redistricting and competitive primary races for Senate seats.

In Texas, incumbent Sen. John Cornyn (R) is facing primary challenges from state Attorney General Ken Paxton and Rep. Wesley Hunt. On the Democratic side, Rep. Jasmine Crockett is facing state Rep. James Talarico.

In North Carolina, candidates are vying to replacing retiring Sen. Thom Tillis (R) . They include former Governor Roy Cooper (D) and former Republican National Committee Chair Michael Whatley.

Also this week, the Rev. Jesse Jackson is laid to rest. He will be honored Wednesday in Washington before a final memorial service Saturday. Jackson died Feb. 17.

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