Seattle, WA

A New York State of Mind

Published

2 years ago

May 14, 2024

I love the Northwest, but there’s no place like New York City. Recently, I was there for some meetings. As I walked from one neighborhood to another, taking in the intellectual stimulation and people-watching, I understood the importance of adopting a New York State of Mind, at least occasionally. Let me explain.

To begin, all the senses are aroused. Most storefronts confront you with intriguing possibilities. Along my walk to lunch, I passed a children’s bookstore and got lost browsing in it for a while. I noticed the clothing stores — none of them franchises. I didn’t dare go in any, but admired the pricey outfi ts. Every half hour or so, I would pass a small museum. My favorite was the photography museum, where I couldn’t resist buying a poster.

Second, there’s the architecture: a mix of buildings, each one interesting to scan from bottom to top. Some have helicopter pads. The 18th-century buildings have exquisite and ornate detail. Skyscrapers boldly change shape halfway up. I imagined the penthouses at the top, a place only true titans of business can afford.

Third, infectious enthusiasm is evident on every street. High volumes of people walk together energetically, sharing snippets of conversation. Their confidence shows in the way they cross the street. Not one person waits for a “walk” signal. This is a town of extreme chutzpah, where the walkers own the streets.

Fourth, the people themselves are fabulous entertainment. Every race, ethnicity, age, class, and fashion — not to mention the full spectrum of mental health — is represented. My favorite was the stereotypical East Side matron, pushing a dual carriage with trickedout 3-year-old twins. Both had designer haircuts and elegantly tailored suits, ties, and Brooks Brothers shirts. You don’t see this in Seattle.

Fifth, the intensity of places to eat: bagel shops, fruit and vegetable markets, and streets filled with sidewalk tables. Italian, Greek, Japanese, Armenian, French — restaurants not too much bigger than their doorways, each with their own boosters in the neighborhood. The only thing that stopped me from multiple drop-ins was the fact I was heading to a business lunch.

So why am I sharing this with you? Because you should go. As one of the few great cities in the world, New York is reasonably accessible to us. The experience wakes us up. It broadens our perspective and creates ideas. Yes, there are a lot of problems like potholes, poverty, and politics. But New York will make you feel as though you’ve plugged into a socket and new energy is coursing through you. Your mind will go into hyper-speed. You’ll feel expansive, creative, and grateful for the new experiences. All this, just by walking across town.

Q: I love my husband. He is a good man, and we have an OK sex life. So that’s the problem — it’s just an OK sex life. My husband will not do anything fancy, and by that, I mean oral sex. He just doesn’t like it and won’t do it. But I miss it. I was married before him and that was a great part of our sex life, and it made it easier for me to have an orgasm. How do I get him to get over his distaste for something I like so much?

A: My first question to you: Did he ever do oral sex? With anyone else or early in the relationship? If he did, there might be a hygiene issue. Even married people sometimes don’t give each other accurate information on why they do or don’t like a specifi c sexual act. Perhaps you have a bacterial infection or do not get nicely washed up before sex — it could make a difference. So that’s at least worth looking into, even if it could be an awkward discussion.

If that’s not the issue, and if he has never liked oral sex or practiced it with you (or practiced it infrequently), you have then acquiesced to the lack of oral sex in the relationship. Making it a big deal now might genuinely upset him. Thus, you have two choices: Live without something you really miss (because you have already done so for quite awhile) or get the two of you to sexual therapy, specifi cally one that has getaway weeks or weekends where you can get support to reinvent your sex life.

These getaway therapies really can change habits. It’s hard to change them otherwise. But there are some great therapists who do them, and if you write to the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, they can tell you who is licensed in your area and what avenues of research could help you find the therapeutic situation. Of course, this requires that you and your husband would be enthusiastic about this kind of experience, and you could afford it, so there are a lot of “ifs.” But if oral sex is very important to you, then it’s at least worth considering some therapeutic intervention, which would require meaningful discussion and some guided experimentation.

Q: I need some help. My husband is very impulsive, and I don’t know what to do about it. He thinks I am a grouch and overly cautious, but he has gotten us into financial trouble. Examples: He bought a huge TV without us discussing it. We already had a big TV. He bought round-trip nonrefundable tickets for a trip that I cannot go on because of a business function. He bought our children an iguana that neither of them wanted. What to do?

A: Impulsiveness can be a very hard habit to break. Some literature suggests it can have a genetic component. That said, it can be very dangerous both financially and physically, so while I am going to give you some advice, I think you might want to think about some therapy — perhaps starting as couples therapy (because he thinks it’s your problem and you need a third party to convince him that he has an issue that is not just a result of a difference in your temperaments).

Basically, most very impulsive people are nervous and have recurring anxiety. Buying something expensive or jumping at some chance that might not really be the right opportunity (either at that time, or ever) is soothing to them. It gives a sense of power and, oddly enough, control. Once it rewards a pleasure center in the brain (the same immediate way chocolate or a sexual climax can do), the impulsive moment tugs at the person because they yearn for repeating that “high.”

There is major reluctance to change because the thrill is so rewarding. Even if there is buyer’s remorse or some other negative consequence (like your reactions, for example), the impulsive person doesn’t want to forgo that excitement and momentary rewards.

You can talk about it with him and see if there is some middle ground. For example, when he gets excited about buying something or going somewhere, agree to meet and talk about it, promise to not always be a “downer,” and see if there’s a way to accommodate his desires. He might be willing to do that, and that could help a lot. Or agree that impulse purchases have an expenditure lid, and that you both agree to stick to that limit.

Start there, but if there is no way he can modify his impulsive pattern, then some couples counseling, and ultimately, some individual counseling for him, really needs to happen if anything is to change.

Source link

Seattle, WA

Las Vegas and Seattle are the front-runners if NBA expansion to 32 teams happens

Published

7 hours ago

December 17, 2025

Press Room

Las Vegas and Seattle are the front-runners if NBA expansion to 32 teams happens

LAS VEGAS (AP) — The NBA plans to make a decision regarding domestic expansion in the coming year, Commissioner Adam Silver said Tuesday, offering the most definitive timeline since the league began exploring the possibility of moving from 30 to 32 teams.

And if there are favorites, as has long been expected, Las Vegas and Seattle are at the top of the list.

“Not a secret, we’re looking at this market in Las Vegas. We are looking at Seattle,” Silver said before the NBA Cup final between San Antonio and New York. “We’ve looked at other markets as well. I’d say I want to be sensitive there about this notion that we’re somehow teasing these markets, because I know we’ve been talking about it for a while.”

Expansion has been a topic for years in the NBA, and it’s no secret that Seattle — which had a team until the SuperSonics were moved to Oklahoma City in 2008 — and Las Vegas have long been clamoring for franchises.

“I think Seattle and Las Vegas are two incredible cities,” Silver said. “Obviously we had a team in Seattle that had great success. We have a WNBA team here in Las Vegas in the Aces. … I don’t have any doubt that Las Vegas, despite all of the other major league teams that are here now, the other entertainment properties, that this city could support an NBA team.

“I think now we’re in the process of working with our teams and gauging the level of interest and having a better understanding of what the economics would be on the ground for those particular teams and what a pro forma would look like for them, and then sometime in 2026 we’ll make a determination.”

Cup future

Silver revealed on Amazon Prime Video’s pregame show for the NBA Cup final that the title game of the tournament may move away from Las Vegas.

Among the sites under consideration: “Some storied college arenas,” Silver said. “We’re looking at other ways we can do this.”

Semifinal games in the Cup will be played at No. 1 seed home sites starting next season, so the concept of a final four in Las Vegas was going to change in 2026 anyway.

Cup viewership increases

Going to a streaming service hasn’t prevented fans from watching the NBA Cup.

Saturday night’s semifinals on Prime Video — in its first season as a league broadcast partner — averaged 1.67 million viewers, a 14% increase over last season’s semifinals.

And Saturday’s doubleheader — San Antonio vs. Oklahoma City and New York vs. Toronto — saw a 126% year-over-year increase in social media views, the league said, with more than 400 million views across all platforms.

NBA Europe plans

Silver hinted that there might be some news next month on the plans for the NBA’s project with FIBA to start a league in Europe.

That makes sense, with the league set to play regular-season games in Berlin and London next month when Orlando and Memphis go over for a pair of matchups.

“I would say we’re casting a very, very wide net right now and essentially saying to anyone who’s interested, come see our bankers, explain to us why you’re interested, how you view the opportunity, what resources you would put behind opening a team, and then we’re taking all that information back,” Silver said. “And then I think sometime in late January, or in January, we’ll be in a position to have more serious conversations with those interested parties.”

Silver said he got the news on Chris Paul being sent home by the Los Angeles Clippers the same way basically everyone else did: He checked his phone in the middle of the night.

“I will say I was dismayed just for everyone involved,” Silver said. “As you know, I’m particularly close to Chris because he was president of the Players Association many years. … I would love to see him finish off the season on another team. He’s already announced this is his last season, so I’d love to see him finish strong.”

Silver said it’s not his role “to cross-examine the participants” and added that he hasn’t talked to Clippers owner Steve Ballmer about what happened.

“It’s an unfortunate situation that it ended the way it did,” Silver said. “So, I’m focused, and I hope Chris is now, on the future.”

Silver says WNBA talks are progressing

Silver said he and NBA deputy commissioner Mark Tatum are available to help the WNBA and its players strike a new labor deal, if needed.

Silver said he’s “optimistic” a deal will get done.

“I’m tracking things very closely,” Silver said. “We’re integrated at the league office. I talk to the people who are at the negotiating table on a daily basis. As I’ve said before, we, the NBA-WNBA collective, acknowledged that our players deserve to be paid significantly more than they have so far based on the increased success of the league. It’s just a question now of finding a meeting of the minds in terms of what is a fair deal. It’s going to require compromise on both sides.”

___

AP NBA: https://apnews.com/NBA

Source link

Seattle, WA

Why Seattle Seahawks continue to impress Mark Schlereth

Published

19 hours ago

December 16, 2025

Press Room

Why Seattle Seahawks continue to impress Mark Schlereth

The Seattle Seahawks keep winning football games, but recently the offense has been showing signs of regression after a strong start to the season.

How injury to Rams star could impact clash with Seattle Seahawks

Seattle’s offensive woes were magnified in its 18-16 win over the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday. The unit had another slow first half, producing just 80 yards, and didn’t reach the end zone the entire game. The running game also produced just 50 yards on 22 carries. However, the Seahawks able to put together six drives that ended in field goals to squeak by a team they were heavily favored against.

Over its past five games, four of which were wins, the Seahawks have only one first-half touchdown. All four of those wins have come against teams starting unproven rookies or past-their-prime veterans, including a 44-year-old Philip Rivers who was playing in his first game since retiring after the 2020 season. The one loss came against Matthew Stafford and the Rams, who the Seahawks face in a pivotal NFC West showdown on Thursday.

Have Seattle’s recent problems on offense, particularly the slow starts in the first half, become a big concern moving forward? FOX color analyst and former NFL offensive lineman Mark Schlereth doesn’t seem to think so. Schlereth explained why the bottom line with the Seahawks team is that it keeps finding ways to win football games during his weekly conversation with Seattle Sports’ Wyman and Bob on Monday.

“Everybody game plans you, everybody’s got really good players. It’s hard to consistently win,” Schlereth said. “I think there’s a lot to be said for finding ways to win.”

Similar to when the Seahawks beat a Vikings squad led by undrafted rookie quarterback Max Brosmer in Week 13 after a slow start on offense, Schlereth saw the victory over the Colts as the Seahawks adapting to an opponent with a good defense but a quarterback who likely wasn’t going to be able to beat them without mistakes on Seattle’s end. And to the Seahawks’ credit, they didn’t have any turnovers against Indianapolis, which entered the game tied for the eighth-most takeaways in the league.

“I talked about the way the Indianapolis approached this game (with) the quick (passing) game, getting rid of it, screens, all those different things. Sometimes when the coaching staff puts a game plan together, it’s not necessarily about scoring 50. It’s about, how do we win this game?” Schlereth said. “And sometimes the best way to win a game is to say, ‘Hey man, we just can’t let our quarterback get hit, or we just can’t take a risk with the football,’ whatever that happens to be that week, and every week it changes.

“Sometimes you’re right, sometimes you lack some efficiency. But the bottom line to me is every week you find ways to win, that to me is the sign of a really good football team, and it’s done in a bunch of different fashions. So I just tip my cap.”

Schlereth added that one aspect that gives him confidence in Seattle’s offense to come through when needed is the connection between quarterback Sam Darnold and league-leading receiver Jaxon Smith-Njigba.

“I will say this, the connection between Sam Darnold and (Jaxon) Smith-Njigba is special,” he said. “When they’ve got to have a big-time play, when they’ve got to have yardage, they seem to be able to find those yards, those big-time plays. That part to me is special.”

Hear the full conversation at this link or in the audio player near the top of this story. Tune in to Wyman and Bob weekdays from 2-7 p.m. or find the podcast on the Seattle Sports app.

Seattle Seahawks coverage

• Macdonald explains strategy behind game-winning decision vs Colts
• Seattle Seahawks’ win over Colts was ugly, which is why it was great
• Has a problem emerged for the Seattle Seahawks’ offense?
• Where the 11-3 Seattle Seahawks stand in NFC playoff picture
• Stacy Rost: Where Seattle Seahawks’ offense is trending in wrong direction

Follow @ZacHereth

Source link

Seattle, WA

WEST SEATTLE CRIME WATCH: Gunfire at Westcrest Park

Published

1 day ago

December 16, 2025

Press Room

WEST SEATTLE CRIME WATCH: Gunfire at Westcrest Park

1994
December 15, 2025 (10:43 pm)

Would be interesting to know how many casings the police department finds weekly, monthly, and yearly…. gunfire is either being reported more often and checked upon by the police, or increasing in frequency.

Source link