Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Jan. 10, 2010.
Washington
Advice | Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend forecasts a breakup every time they fight
S.: I know your “if it helps” is about helping me answer your question. However, that talk of love and futures strikes me as being particularly unhelpful to you.
That’s because, when you and he gaze into each other’s eyes and see white picket fences, it’s natural for you to start mentally writing a fairy tale about the two of you. Then, when he says things like, “Maybe we shouldn’t be together,” you’re not thinking, “Hmm, maybe not.” Or, “Was this fight worth fighting?” Or, “Was I being fair, and was he?” Instead, your mind jumps right to that fairy tale — oh no! — and your primary focus becomes, “Save that picket fence!”
I feel no particular resentment toward the princess myths of my childhood, I swear, but “dreams” are vastly overrated. Ideas? Great. Plans? Necessary. Inspiration? Bring it on. Imagination? Sure, as long as you know you’re just making up stuff and reality will eventually have its say.
But dreams, I don’t know. They seem to get cultural carte blanche, when, in many cases, they’re just imaginings unmoored from reality. Exhibit A: the bridal-industrial complex.
You, S., are probably feeling insecure because you’re harboring dreams of where you want this relationship to go, when in fact there’s a whole lot of reality clearing its throat to be heard. You’re hoping. He’s doubting. You’re both fighting. His divorce is escalating.
Please just wipe out whatever you’ve imagined happening and force yourself to think clearly about what is happening.
Specifically: Do you get along, in most cases, without much effort? Do you like him as is? If you weren’t physically attracted to each other, would you choose each other as friends? Do you talk easily? Do you seek each other out equally? Can you hit your normal highs and lows without fear of scaring him off?
And no sanity list is complete without these: Are you strong enough to say out loud to him, “If you don’t think we should be together, then why don’t you break up with me?” Not soap-operatic, just matter-of-fact. And, if this relationship ends, can you envision yourself crying it out and then carrying on?
The first set of questions is about the way you get along with him. The second is about the way you get along with you. Unless you get yeses on both sides, the white picket fence is a trap.
Meanwhile, those raw feelings in his ongoing divorce are already telling you to slow down, calm down, pace yourself and think. Now I’m saying it, too.
4 things to know about the weather:
- Nice Mother’s Day morning
- Shower chance late Sunday
- Morning showers on Monday
- Temperature drop to start the new workweek
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms! Mother Nature will give us nice conditions for most of the day on Sunday. Expect sunshine and mild conditions for the first half of the day, then a chance of showers near dinner time.
Monday includes a chance of rain, mainly in the morning, then cooler air settles into the area. Highs go from near 80°on Sund ay to the mid 60s Monday.
Download the NBC Washington app on iOS and Android to check the weather radar on the go.
QuickCast
MOTHER’S DAY:
Mostly sunny
Showers late
Wind: W 5-10 mph
HIGH: Low 80s
MONDAY:
Shower chance early
Partly cloudy afternoon
Wind: W 5-10 mph
HIGH: Mid 60s
TUESDAY:
Sunny
Wind: N 5-10 mph
HIGH: Upper 60s
SUNRISE: 6:00 a.m. SUNSET: 8:09 p.m.
AVERAGE HIGH: 75° AVERAGE LOW: 56°
Stay with Storm Team4 for the latest forecast. Download the NBC Washington app on iOS and Android to get severe weather alerts on your phone.
An 18-year-old who was shot and wounded in Northwest D.C.’s Tenleytown neighborhood on Thursday afternoon has died, authorities say.
Brady Flowers Jr., of Southwest, was the victim, police said in an update Saturday.
Flowers was found shot in the 4500 block of Wisconsin Avenue NW, behind the CVS store. Jackson-Reed High School and American University are nearby.
Flowers was rushed to a hospital with life-threatening injuries and pronounced dead a day later, police said.
Police said 10-15 teens were seen running after the gunshots.
An investigation is underway. Anyone with potentially relevant information is asked to contact police.
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Washington
Governor Moore Continues “Delivering for Maryland” Tour in Washington County, Highlighting Transportation Infrastructure, Economic Development, and Early Childhood Education
Updated:
ANNAPOLIS, MD — Governor Wes Moore today continued his statewide “Delivering for Maryland” tour with a series of engagements in Washington County, highlighting vital investments in local transportation infrastructure, manufacturing job growth, and early childhood education. The governor emphasized state contributions to modernize the Hagerstown Regional Airport, toured the state-of-the-art Hitachi Rail facility, and celebrated the opening of a new child care center in the South End of Hagerstown funded by the administration’s historic ENOUGH Initiative.
“From investing $1.5 million to update Hagerstown Regional Airport’s aging control tower to supporting 1,300 jobs at Hitachi Rail, the Moore-Miller administration is delivering for Hagerstown, Washington County, and Western Maryland,” said Gov. Moore. “Through our administration’s ENOUGH Initiative partnerships and investments, we’ve tripled child care capacity in the South End of Hagerstown — because no parents should be forced to pick between staying in the workforce or securing quality care for their kids.”
The governor began the day at the Hagerstown Regional Airport, touring the Air Traffic Control Tower and airport grounds. During the visit, Governor Moore highlighted the State’s $1.5 million Fiscal Year 2027 investment to complete the design for a critical replacement of the airport’s aging air traffic control facility. As a primary airport in the Maryland Aviation System Plan, the Hagerstown Regional Airport is a vital economic engine for Washington County, supporting more than 1,800 jobs and generating over $140 million in local business revenue.
Following the airport tour, Governor Moore visited the Hitachi Rail STS facility alongside Congresswoman April McClain Delaney, Senator Mike McKay, Senator Paul Corderman and state transportation leaders. The governor toured the factory floor and rode a test train to observe the manufacturing process. Opened in September 2025 with the support of a $1.6 million state conditional loan, the 307,000-square-foot, carbon-neutral facility is a $100 million capital investment by Hitachi. The factory supports 1,300 jobs — including 460 newly created jobs — and is actively manufacturing railcars for both the Maryland Transit Administration and the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority.
“Hitachi Rail has built a cutting-edge model for advanced manufacturing here in Western Maryland which is focused on delivering clean, safe, efficient regional transportation across our state and the rest of the country,” said Congresswoman April McClain Delaney. “This facility is powered by Maryland’s second-to-none workforce and world-class innovation environment. I’m proud to work with Governor Moore and our public, private, and philanthropic partners to drive global investment that supports jobs and economic growth along our I-270 Tech Corridor.”
Governor Moore concluded the day at the Children’s Learning and Empowerment Center in the South End of Hagerstown, where he met with parents, children, and community leaders. During the visit, the Governor highlighted the administration’s ENOUGH Initiative, which provided critical support for the center’s opening. The new facility is a major win for the community, tripling local childcare capacity with 24 new slots and generating six new early childhood education jobs.
The Children’s Learning and Empowerment Center’s opening was accelerated by a $100,000 investment from San Mar Family & Community Services, the ENOUGH grantee in Hagerstown. ENOUGH grant funding was also supplemented by a $100,000 philanthropic contribution from the Bainum Family Foundation — a member of the ENOUGH Alliance — to complete necessary facility upgrades. The center’s completion underscores the strength of the ENOUGH Initiative’s public-private partnerships to deliver on community priorities and work towards ending child poverty.
Governor Moore’s visit to Washington County follows the third stop of his “Delivering for Maryland” tour in Montgomery County, where he marked a historic milestone by installing the final segment of rail for the Purple Line. This installation completes the 16.2-mile light rail corridor connecting Bethesda and New Carrollton, with passenger service expected to begin in late 2027. The governor also visited Max’s Best Ice Cream in Bethesda, a local business dedicated to creating meaningful employment opportunities for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities through the Best Buddies Jobs program.
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