Author’s note: This is the seventeenth installment of my weekly column, Barely Relevant.

Well, it’s over. And, for what it’s worth, the Seattle Seahawks had a pretty darn good year. Pretty darn good is a tough phrase to unpack, though, mostly because it doesn’t mean anything. How can something be pretty good? Something is either good or it isn’t. In that respect, anything under good is bad. Thus, pretty good = bad. Thus, the Seattle Seahawks’ 2024 season.

Yes, we’re guaranteed to finish with a winning record. No, we didn’t make the playoffs. Yes, we have a brand-new coaching staff. No, our preseason free-agent additions didn’t pan out like we had hoped they would. Yes, some people blame our quarterback. No, some other people don’t think it’s our quarterback. Yes, our offensive line was again one of the worst in the NFL. No, we didn’t run the ball like we’d wanted. Yes, we should keep DK Metcalf. No, we should not keep DK Metcalf.

The wild mood swings involved in being a Seahawks fan have a juxtaposing pendulum effect that bounces like a migraine between my two temples. What are the answers? Who the hell knows? Certainly not John Schneider. And certainly not me. All he can do is attempt to juggle Geno and DK contracts while continuing to try to bring in quality free agents, and all I can do is hang out on my couch and go “yes!” and “damn!” which are words that have zero currency or worth.

Because no matter what anyone (us included) says over the next nine months, nothing else matters except how the Seahawks play – on the field during the regular season – next year. Oh, we’ll speculate wildly. And we’ll throw numbers around and feign confidence about new free agent this and new draft pick that, but it doesn’t matter a hell of beans because it’s just mind football.

This, right now, is as far as you’ll be from a game that matters all year.

For some reason, though, it doesn’t feel all that bad. Am I alone here? I don’t know about you, but my expectations weren’t that high. And I kind of like mind football. Of course, it sucks we missed the playoffs – and it CERTAINLY sucks the way we missed the playoffs (f-ing helmet bounce [I’m deflecting blame here]), but, hell, our defense looks promising. Our new head coach seems to know what he’s doing, our running backs look like ballers (if we can find an offensive coordinator who knows how to utilize them), and our second-year wide receiver is ready for lift-off.

If we can manage to figure out our quarterback situation and pick up some offensive linemen, Seattle could be poised to make things interesting. For some reason, I’m already ready to talk all about it. And the draft! There’s no mourning period here. Let’s hurry up and end this season and get into it.

Of course, in the grand scheme of things, nothing is going to matter until we start playing games that count again. But who wants to wait nine months to play football? Not me. That’s why every sportswriter you know is going to begin playing mind football right now.

Join us.