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Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine

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Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine


My algorithm is permanently stuck in the dating world. Ads, social posts, articles, events, press releases—everything that has to do with finding love has come across my screen in the last year. And if all my fervent article reading and constant chats with experts and everyday daters have taught me anything, it’s that the way we search for the one follows fads like anything else—and things are shifting. With only a few more months to go in 2024, here are some of the trends that the industry is projecting for singles in 2025:

Daters Are Going Sober to Find Love

In July, Newsweek covered the rise of sober dating among Gen Zers and Millennials during a time when people are ditching alcohol (though, still staying “California sober”) at higher rates than previous generations. Even those not cutting alcohol out completely are scaling back—according to a study by NC Solutions, 41 percent of people are minimizing their use and prioritizing mental health.

This trend of dry dating has led to the creation of new NA apps such as Drybaby, Loosid, and Club Pillar, which aim to bring like-minded singles together in one place. Apps like these make it easier for sober singles to organize meetups while avoiding awkward conversations about not drinking on first, second, or future dates. They’re also drawing singles together IRL: Drybaby, for example, has partnered with NYC- and LA-based companies like The Feels, which hosts “mindful” events, and Reading Rhythms, a group that throws reading parties.

In an interview with Dazed magazine, Catherine Gray, author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, argues that drinking on dates can leave people confused about their true feelings. “Frequently, on the 7 p.m. first drink we’ll think, ‘Meh,’” she told the outlet. “On the second drink, ‘meh’ is a little more mesmerizing. Rinse and repeat four times, and suddenly you’re heavy petting someone you wouldn’t even ordinarily lightly pet.” 

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When dating dry, there’s no alcohol-induced cloudiness about whether someone is actually a good potential match. And, at the very least—during a time when most of us are just trying to figure out how to pay rent each month—spending money on expensive drinks can wait for later dates, when you’re sure you have a crush. Keep an eye out for more of these NA apps and dating events in 2025. 

The Apps Are Here to Stay, But Users Aren’t

While dating apps aren’t necessarily going anywhere, users are starting to rely on them less when it comes to finding a potential partner. I wrote about this return to meeting people in person a few weeks back. It makes sense—we’re all burnt out and in need of a new way to find love, a fact that seems especially true for the younger generations. 

Recently, Time published a piece on the members of Gen Z choosing to dtich dating apps. Data from a 2023 Statista survey showed that, in the US, Gen Z makes up only 26 percent of dating app users, while Millennials come in at 61 percent. CNN reported that “singles mixers and other group dating parties have made a comeback since the Covid-19 pandemic ended as singles look to get off their screens and meet potential partners in person.” 

According to data from Eventbrite, attendance at singles’ events increased 42 percent between 2022 and 2023.  Those numbers are even higher when it comes to game- or sports-based dating meetups. So, if you’re looking to date in the next year, consider how to get out in your community and meet someone at the many dating events that have been popping up lately.

Singles Are Doing Away With “Types”

This one is an interesting one. Contra-dating is a concept that involves intentionally dating people you would normally not choose in order to broaden your options. Many of us tend to stick with what we know, and, in the dating world, that can lead to a cycle of bad relationships—or closing yourself off to a potential match just because they don’t fit what you’re used to.

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I love the idea that people are opening up their dating pool by purposefully spending time with those who aren’t their type. And the idea isn’t at all foreign in popular culture—Love is Blind (despite its issues) takes this type of thinking to the most extreme level, and even rom-coms have used that formula for decades, pairing two individuals who are wildly different and letting viewers watch as they eventually fall in love. 

Contra-dating pushes you to be more open-minded and prioritize your core values over more surface-level things like physical appearance. It seems obvious to date outside of your normal pool, but how many of us actually take the leap? We often eliminate people quickly when they don’t match our past experiences or typical crush. 

This type of dating can also expose individuals to new hobbies, activities, or ways of thinking—so even if you don’t fall in love with someone new, they may introduce you to your new favorite thing.

Living in the Moment, No Matter the Outcome

In my own dating life, I’ve learned that putting too much pressure early on can lead to unnecessary arguments. On the other hand, future-faking—a tactic where someone makes false promises about commitment to keep someone invested in a relationship—can be harmful to those who are genuinely seeking a long-term partner.

“NATO” dating, or “not attached to the outcome,” is a term used to describe a form of dating that places an emphasis on living in the moment, day-by-day, with potential matches. In an interview with The Star, Paul C. Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert, said, “Instead of rushing into a ‘happily ever after,’ [users are] focusing on using the dating journey to accumulate a roster of new experiences and memories that enhance their personal stories.” 

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When it comes to dating apps, every day can mean a new match or potential meetup—which, on the surface, can sound exciting. However, the amount of matches that don’t turn into a full-blown relationship can make us feel like there’s something wrong with us, not the algorithm.

Taking the NATO route means that you’re no longer worried about whether your next date is the one. Instead, you can free up your mind to take something away from every interaction you have, whether good or bad. Releasing our concerns about what’s next can also leave us more at ease when dating, meaning we’ll be more ourselves during those uncomfortable first meetups. 

According to Forbes, the benefits of NATO dating include pursuing mindful partnerships, prioritizing personal growth, embracing singlehood, seeking meaningful experiences, and assessing true compatibility. It makes sense. This approach to dating can help you let go of timelines and pre-existing expectations and allow you to get to know a person without all the pressure and anxiety of finding the love of your life.

What do you think? What other dating trends and predictions have you seen lately? Let me know. Email me at [email protected] and let me know which topics you’d like me to dig deeper into.


If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.

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Four suspects jailed in beating death of 59-year-old man in Linda Vista

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Four suspects jailed in beating death of 59-year-old man in Linda Vista


A San Diego Police cruiser. Photo by Chris Stone

Four suspects were behind bars Friday for allegedly beating a man to death two months ago during a fight at Linda Vista Park.

Arrested Wednesday on suspicion of murder in connection with the violent death of 59-year-old Ruben Rimorin were Juan Garcia Alavez, 21, Juan Manuel Lopez, 26, Brian Reyes, 20, and Franklin Joseph Tuell, 21, according to the San Diego Police Department.

Rimorin was found gravely injured about 3:45 a.m. Oct. 18 on a sidewalk in the 6800 block of Osler Street, just west of the park, SDPD Lt. Chris Tivanian said. Paramedics tried in vain to revive the victim before pronouncing him dead at the scene.

It remains unclear what sparked the deadly fight.

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The suspects were being held at San Diego Central Jail without bail pending arraignment, scheduled for Friday afternoon.

–City News Service




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Coastal Commission ruling opens door to development of National City waterfront

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Coastal Commission ruling opens door to development of National City waterfront


National City’s Pepper Park can soon expand in size by nearly 50%, thanks to a ruling this week by the California Coastal Commission to approve the National City Balanced Plan.

The approval of the plan at the CCC’s Wednesday meeting, developed by the Port of San Diego, means that not only will the popular park have the ability to increase in size, big changes are coming for commercial, recreation and maritime uses on the National City bayfront.

“We are grateful to the California Coastal Commission for its support of the National City Balanced Plan,” said Danielle Moore, chair of the Board of Port Commissioners. “The progress we have made has been anchored in tireless collaboration with the community, business leaders and, of course, the city of National City. It’s about bringing more recreational opportunities to the bayfront while also streamlining and strengthening maritime operations, and we are eager to bring these projects to life.”

Other components of the balanced plan include:

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  • Realigning Marina Way to serve as the buffer area between commercial recreation and maritime uses
  • The closure of Tidelands Avenue between Bay Marina Drive and West 32nd Street, and West 28th Street between Tidelands Avenue and Quay Avenue, around six acres, to increase terminal efficiency by eliminating redundancies
  • The development of a recreational vehicle park, tent sites, cabins and the “ultimate development of up to two hotels with up to 365 rooms, as well as dry boat storage,” a port statement read
  • A connector rail project to connect the existing rail and loop track located on the National City Marine Terminal to additional rail car storage spots at the existing Burlington Northern Santa Fe National City Yard east of the National Distribution Center

The Board of Port Commissioners must accept the CCC’s certification, then the port and city can begin the process of completing the above projects.

“I am proud of the work we have done to help create a lasting legacy for National City, the Port of San Diego, and the entire region,” said Port Commissioner GilAnthony Ungab. “Nearly a decade in the making, this plan balances the interests of the community and many other stakeholders, addresses public access, maritime, and recreation uses, and expands waterfront access in my community.”

The National City Bayfront is 273 acres of waterfront land and 167 acres of water, and includes the National City Marine Terminal, Pepper Park, Pier 32 Marina, the Aquatic Center and pieces of public art.



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Gloria announces effort to add more townhomes, cottages to San Diego neighborhoods

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Gloria announces effort to add more townhomes, cottages to San Diego neighborhoods


Mayor Todd Gloria announced an initiative Wednesday intended to expand housing options in neighborhoods by integrating small-scale residences such as townhomes, rowhomes and cottages into an area’s existing character.

The Neighborhood Homes for All of Us initiative is also intended to support community land trusts — nonprofit organizations that acquire land to create permanent affordable housing.

“Since Day 1 of my administration, I have been focused on building more homes that San Diegans can actually afford — and getting them built faster,” Gloria said at a news conference Wednesday. “‘Neighborhood Homes for All of Us’ is the latest piece of that puzzle. This innovative program will break down the barriers that have gotten in the way of building the type of housing that I believe is ideal for young families and first-time homebuyers for whom the dream of homeownership has long felt out of reach.”

Around 80% of land zoned for housing in the city is restricted to single-family homes, which continue to increase in price, Gloria said. And a significant portion of new housing being built consists of apartment buildings with primarily studio and one-bedroom units, leaving working-class families fewer and fewer options for homes.

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Neighborhood Homes for All of Us is intended to increase the housing supply and allow community land trusts to keep housing affordable in disadvantaged communities for low- to middle-income families.

“San Diego is an incredible place to raise a family, and more families need the opportunity to do that in San Diego’s existing, highly desirable single-family neighborhoods where their kids can learn and play in a great community,” City Planning Director Heidi Vonblum said. “But today, that comes at a price that is out of reach for too many. Integrating more options for families requires careful and thoughtful planning, with input from existing and future community members across the city, to ensure these new home opportunities for San Diego’s families are built in ways that best enhance and benefit San Diego’s amazing neighborhoods.”

The initiative will roll out in two phases. In the first phase, beginning this week and continuing through next summer, San Diegans can help determine what the neighborhoods can look like. The public will be able to see renderings showing small-scale neighborhood homes within San Diego’s existing communities, along with new regulations that “provide a clear pathway for building these homes,” according to a statement from Gloria’s office.

Phase 1 will also include an open house and ways for the community to provide feedback and concerns.

Phase 2, scheduled for the second half of 2026, will be for city staff to develop regulations allowing for the building of more neighborhood homes in a way informed by the public feedback.

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The initiative is partly funded through a Regional Early Action Planning grant from the San Diego Association of Governments.



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