Navarro is community opinion editor at The San Diego Union-Tribune. She is a transfronteriza who lives on both sides of the border.
San Diego, CA
Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine
My algorithm is permanently stuck in the dating world. Ads, social posts, articles, events, press releases—everything that has to do with finding love has come across my screen in the last year. And if all my fervent article reading and constant chats with experts and everyday daters have taught me anything, it’s that the way we search for the one follows fads like anything else—and things are shifting. With only a few more months to go in 2024, here are some of the trends that the industry is projecting for singles in 2025:
Daters Are Going Sober to Find Love
In July, Newsweek covered the rise of sober dating among Gen Zers and Millennials during a time when people are ditching alcohol (though, still staying “California sober”) at higher rates than previous generations. Even those not cutting alcohol out completely are scaling back—according to a study by NC Solutions, 41 percent of people are minimizing their use and prioritizing mental health.
This trend of dry dating has led to the creation of new NA apps such as Drybaby, Loosid, and Club Pillar, which aim to bring like-minded singles together in one place. Apps like these make it easier for sober singles to organize meetups while avoiding awkward conversations about not drinking on first, second, or future dates. They’re also drawing singles together IRL: Drybaby, for example, has partnered with NYC- and LA-based companies like The Feels, which hosts “mindful” events, and Reading Rhythms, a group that throws reading parties.
In an interview with Dazed magazine, Catherine Gray, author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, argues that drinking on dates can leave people confused about their true feelings. “Frequently, on the 7 p.m. first drink we’ll think, ‘Meh,’” she told the outlet. “On the second drink, ‘meh’ is a little more mesmerizing. Rinse and repeat four times, and suddenly you’re heavy petting someone you wouldn’t even ordinarily lightly pet.”
When dating dry, there’s no alcohol-induced cloudiness about whether someone is actually a good potential match. And, at the very least—during a time when most of us are just trying to figure out how to pay rent each month—spending money on expensive drinks can wait for later dates, when you’re sure you have a crush. Keep an eye out for more of these NA apps and dating events in 2025.
The Apps Are Here to Stay, But Users Aren’t
While dating apps aren’t necessarily going anywhere, users are starting to rely on them less when it comes to finding a potential partner. I wrote about this return to meeting people in person a few weeks back. It makes sense—we’re all burnt out and in need of a new way to find love, a fact that seems especially true for the younger generations.
Recently, Time published a piece on the members of Gen Z choosing to dtich dating apps. Data from a 2023 Statista survey showed that, in the US, Gen Z makes up only 26 percent of dating app users, while Millennials come in at 61 percent. CNN reported that “singles mixers and other group dating parties have made a comeback since the Covid-19 pandemic ended as singles look to get off their screens and meet potential partners in person.”
According to data from Eventbrite, attendance at singles’ events increased 42 percent between 2022 and 2023. Those numbers are even higher when it comes to game- or sports-based dating meetups. So, if you’re looking to date in the next year, consider how to get out in your community and meet someone at the many dating events that have been popping up lately.
Singles Are Doing Away With “Types”
This one is an interesting one. Contra-dating is a concept that involves intentionally dating people you would normally not choose in order to broaden your options. Many of us tend to stick with what we know, and, in the dating world, that can lead to a cycle of bad relationships—or closing yourself off to a potential match just because they don’t fit what you’re used to.
I love the idea that people are opening up their dating pool by purposefully spending time with those who aren’t their type. And the idea isn’t at all foreign in popular culture—Love is Blind (despite its issues) takes this type of thinking to the most extreme level, and even rom-coms have used that formula for decades, pairing two individuals who are wildly different and letting viewers watch as they eventually fall in love.
Contra-dating pushes you to be more open-minded and prioritize your core values over more surface-level things like physical appearance. It seems obvious to date outside of your normal pool, but how many of us actually take the leap? We often eliminate people quickly when they don’t match our past experiences or typical crush.
This type of dating can also expose individuals to new hobbies, activities, or ways of thinking—so even if you don’t fall in love with someone new, they may introduce you to your new favorite thing.
Living in the Moment, No Matter the Outcome
In my own dating life, I’ve learned that putting too much pressure early on can lead to unnecessary arguments. On the other hand, future-faking—a tactic where someone makes false promises about commitment to keep someone invested in a relationship—can be harmful to those who are genuinely seeking a long-term partner.
“NATO” dating, or “not attached to the outcome,” is a term used to describe a form of dating that places an emphasis on living in the moment, day-by-day, with potential matches. In an interview with The Star, Paul C. Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert, said, “Instead of rushing into a ‘happily ever after,’ [users are] focusing on using the dating journey to accumulate a roster of new experiences and memories that enhance their personal stories.”
When it comes to dating apps, every day can mean a new match or potential meetup—which, on the surface, can sound exciting. However, the amount of matches that don’t turn into a full-blown relationship can make us feel like there’s something wrong with us, not the algorithm.
Taking the NATO route means that you’re no longer worried about whether your next date is the one. Instead, you can free up your mind to take something away from every interaction you have, whether good or bad. Releasing our concerns about what’s next can also leave us more at ease when dating, meaning we’ll be more ourselves during those uncomfortable first meetups.
According to Forbes, the benefits of NATO dating include pursuing mindful partnerships, prioritizing personal growth, embracing singlehood, seeking meaningful experiences, and assessing true compatibility. It makes sense. This approach to dating can help you let go of timelines and pre-existing expectations and allow you to get to know a person without all the pressure and anxiety of finding the love of your life.
What do you think? What other dating trends and predictions have you seen lately? Let me know. Email me at [email protected] and let me know which topics you’d like me to dig deeper into.
If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.
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San Diego, CA
Opinion: Mexican is not a nationality, it’s a state of mind
When Costa Rican-born ranchera singer Chavela Vargas rose to international fame in the past century, she was asked in an interview if she was Mexican and she said yes. Immediately, reporters asked her how come she was Mexican if she was born in Costa Rica and her answer immortalized her. In a more folkloric way, she said that Mexicans are born wherever they want.
When someone asks me “Where are you from?” I tend to give a longer explanation than most people. I usually say, “I was born in San Diego, and raised in Tijuana,” because I have always felt like I am from both sides of the border, and because just like Chavela, I feel Mexican even if I wasn’t born there.
I am American because my parents decided to have my birth on the northern side of the border. According to them, the day after I was born, I was brought to Tijuana. (When recalling that story, my father remarks that no child seat was required to leave the hospital back then.)
And my case is not unique. In Tijuana and in other parts of the world, some families decide to pay to have birth deliveries in the United States. Just like Baja California Gov. Marina del Pilar Ávila, who lives in Mexicali and decided to have her youngest child born in Imperial Valley in 2022.
During my school years, when Tijuana was a smaller city, I had classmates, friends and later in life even colleagues who were born on the northern side of the border. Some, like me, have decided to use their American nationality to work and others don’t.
These are not “anchor babies,” so please don’t even start arguing that. These are middle or high-income tourists who pay for a birth delivery service in a foreign country, and as long as they pay the hospital bill, there’s nothing illegal about it.
While American, being raised on Mexican soil had a powerful effect on me. During my younger years, I went to school in Mexican classrooms, traveled around many Mexican cities and fell in love with the culture of my parents and ancestors. Back then, I was convinced that I was Mexican, because my skin gets goosebumps while listening to the “Mexican National Anthem” the same way that it does with “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
When I became the mother of an American boy in 2012, I made a big effort to raise him bilingual and I even moved back to Tijuana to enroll him in a Mexican school for four years. I feel proud when I see that he is fluent in English and Spanish, and ashamed when he tells me of the racial slurs he has been called by those who believe he is not American enough. Last year, he visited Mexico City for the first time and he quickly learned that just standing in front of the Zócalo in Plaza de la Constitución is one of the proudest moments for any Mexican.
Since he was a little boy, our favorite Mexican celebration is on Nov. 2 for Day of the Dead, and on Sept. 16, we have our second favorite Mexican celebration, Independence Day.
I usually watch the TV transmission from Mexico City and directly from the Zócalo plaza. We see when the president recreates “el grito,” or the shouting, that was the call that triggered Mexicans to start their independence fight against Spain’s crown in 1810 and then he rings the bell, just like the priest Miguel Hidalgo, the father of Mexican independence, did it in his church.
And without food our Mexican celebration wouldn’t be complete. That’s why I learned to make pozole, a classic Mexican dish, that transports me back home.
While neither my son nor I were born in Mexico, we know our Mexican heritage is there, in my food and in our souls. We both know we are connected with our roots because like Chavela makes clear, being Mexican is more than a nationality, it is also an attitude, a state of mind and a way of life.
¡Viva México!
San Diego, CA
Trump campaigns in Western states as Harris focuses on critical Pennsylvania
By MICHELLE L. PRICE and COLLEEN LONG
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Former President Donald Trump will campaign Friday in Western states as his opponent, Vice President Kamala Harris keeps her focus on one of the biggest battleground prizes in the East, Pennsylvania.
Trump is scheduled to hold what’s being billed as a news conference in the morning at his Los Angeles-area golf club before heading to Northern California for a fundraiser, followed by a rally in Las Vegas, the largest city in swing state Nevada.
Harris, meanwhile, heads to Johnstown and Wilkes-Barre on Friday as she tries to capitalize on her momentum after Tuesday night’s debate. It’s her second day of back-to-back rallies after holding two events in North Carolina, another swing state, on Thursday.
While speaking in Charlotte, Harris took a victory lap for her debate performance in which she needled Trump and kept him on the defensive. Recounting one moment while campaigning in North Carolina, she mocked Trump for saying he had “concepts of a plan” for replacing the Affordable Care Act.
“Concepts. Concepts. No actual plan. Concepts,” she said as the crowd roared with laughter.
Her campaign said she raised $47 million from 600,000 donors in the 24 hours after her debate with Trump.
Harris said the candidates “owe it to voters to have another debate.” But Trump said he won’t agree to face off with her again.
Trump’s morning event will mark the second Friday in a row that the Republican has scheduled a news conference, though at his last appearance in New York, the former president didn’t take any questions. Instead, the Republican for nearly an hour railed against women who have accused him of sexual misconduct over the years, resurrecting the allegations in the public eye days before his debate with Harris.
It’s unclear whether Trump plans to speak about any subject in particular at Friday’s news conference, but his campaign has added more to his schedule since early August as he tries to contrast himself with Harris. She has not held a news conference since becoming a presidential candidate and the Democrat has only sat for one in-depth interview.
Her campaign has said she will start doing more interviews with local media outlets concentrated in battleground states.
After appearing at his golf club in upscale Rancho Palos Verdes, Trump will head to a fundraiser in the afternoon in the Bay Area town of Woodside that is being hosted by billionaire software developer Tom Siebel and his wife, Stacey Siebel. Tom Siebel is the second cousin once removed of Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the wife of California Gov. Gavin Newsom, a Democrat and surrogate for Harris.
Attendees will pay at least $3,300 per person or raise $10,000 for the campaign, according to an invitation. Top-tier donors will get a photo, reception and roundtable, paying $500,000 for a couple to be on the host committee or $150,000 per person to be a co-host.
It’s Trump’s second fundraising stop in California in as many days as he tries to make up fundraising ground against Harris.
Even before she raked in cash after the debate, the vice president reported raising $361 million in August from nearly 3 million donors, her first full month as a candidate after replacing President Joe Biden. Trump brought in $130 million over the same period. Harris’ campaign reported that it started September with $109 million more on hand than Trump’s did.
On Friday night, he heads to Las Vegas, where he’ll have a rally in the city’s downtown area. Trump was in the city last month for a brief stop to promote his proposal to end federal taxes on workers’ tips, something that’s expected to especially resonate in the tourist city, where much of the service-based economy includes workers who rely on tips. He announced a new proposal Thursday to end taxes on overtime pay.
The swing state is one that Trump narrowly lost in 2016 and 2020 and is among about half a dozen that both campaigns are heavily focused on.
The Republican presidential ticket has visited Clark County, Nevada, four times since June. Trump has held campaign events in Las Vegas three times, while his running mate, Sen. JD Vance, held a rally in suburban Henderson in July.
The Democratic ticket also has visited four times, although two of those campaign events were by President Joe Biden before he dropped out of the race. Harris and her running mate, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, had a joint rally in Las Vegas last month, and Walz visited the city again Tuesday.
___
Long reported from Washington. Associated Press writers Michael R. Blood in Los Angeles, Chris Megerian in Washington and Tom Verdin in Sacramento contributed to this report.
Originally Published:
San Diego, CA
San Diego County Supervisors vote to continue emergency on border pollution
The county Board of Supervisors has voted unanimously to continue a local emergency declaration due to U.S.-Mexico transboundary pollution, but not without first hearing from South Bay residents who pressed for more action.
The board first approved an emergency proclamation in June 2023 in response pollution and sewage flowing across the U.S.-Mexico border.
“We’re doing everything possible as a public health care agency to protect the wellness and safety of our residents,” board Chairwoman Nora Vargas said during the board’s meeting Wednesday.
Dr. Ankita Kadakia, interim county public health officer, said her office has asked the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the state Department of Public Health to investigate the impacts of cross-border pollution. Kadakia said the county immediately deployed its hazardous response team in response to reports hydrogen cyanide in the air.
Kadakia said she couldn’t emphasize enough how concerned both the county and state are about the quality of life for South County residents.
“No one should be living in those conditions,” Kadakia said.
The board’s vote followed a Tuesday news conference in which Vargas said the air quality in the area does not pose a public health threat, despite foul odors from the Tijuana River Valley and elevated levels of gases.
“I want to reassure everyone that this is not an imminent threat, and it’s safe to be outside and attend school,” Vargas said. “Our county experts are actively gathering public health data and conducting research to provide the most accurate information.
“It’s unacceptable that South County residents have to worry about whether it’s safe to go outside,” she added. “I’m fighting every day to address the root of this issue, but for now, you can trust the data — we’ve got your back.”
During a public comment period Wednesday, supervisors heard from South County residents, some of whom said environmental conditions had caused them and family members to become ill.
Bethany Case, who lives in Imperial Beach, said she and her husband have discussed moving. Case said she often suffers headaches and gastrointestinal problems, with no known cause.
She said Vargas’ news conference Tuesday disgusted residents, and was in opposition to detailed studies by other institutions.
“We’re drowning, and you’re worried about your career, and I can’t wrap my head around that,” Case told her.
One man, who lives in Imperial Beach, said the county has not demonstrated that the air is safe to breathe for children, the elderly, or immunocompromised people.
“First, we are told not to go into the water, then we are told not breathe, and then yesterday, we’re told to breathe,” he said.
Another Imperial Beach resident, who said he has brain cancer, said the air quality is harming his children.
“I’m a worried dad, you guys,” the man said. “I don’t what to do, except to advocate.”
The man suggested the Federal Emergency Management Association also get involved.
“You can’t just test once, and say it’s OK,” he added.
Sarah Davidson, an official with the Surfrider Foundation, said there are dangerous levels of hydrogen sulfide in the air.
“This is the single-most public health and environmental justice emergency in the county right now,” said Davidson, who added an urgent response from the county is needed. “We implore all of you on the board and all of us in this room to find the courage to ask ourselves what more we can do, and then to do it.”
Vargas said that had the county not declared an emergency last year, no funding would be available to tackle pollution problems in the border region. She added the issue probably wouldn’t have happened if the affected area were north of Interstate 8, saying the South Bay community doesn’t have all the resources it should.
Vargas said the county wants to work with UC San Diego and San Diego State University on pollution research, and that’s why she and Vice Chair Terra Lawson-Remer established a committee to share information.
Vargas added that the county is trying to find more money for air filters, and she’ll keep fighting for other resources.
“You can keep coming up here and telling me I’m not doing enough,” she told audience members. “I get it.”
Lawson-Remer thanked people for showing up and speaking out.
“You’re right to be mad,” she said. “I’m mad, and we just have to keep fighting.”
A key to improving environmental conditions is to fix the Punta Bandera wastewater treatment plant, located in Tijuana, said Lawson-Remer, who added she was recently in Washington, D.C., to ask for more resources. Lawson- Remer said she’s happy there has been progress on the Mexican side in terms of fixing the wastewater plant, and hopes it can operational by December or January.
Supervisor Jim Desmond said while he appreciates the local task force, it’s the county’s congressional delegation that needs to push for federal help “and give us the funding so we can open our beaches up.”
It’s a travesty that some beach areas have been closed for over three years, Desmond added.
On Monday, San Diego’s congressional contingent reiterated their call for a declaration of a state of emergency after high levels of hydrogen sulfide and hydrogen cyanide —which can have a rotten egg smell — were reported by researchers in the watershed.
In response, the San Diego County Hazardous Incident Response Team and researchers from San Diego State University tested the gas levels on Monday, after which they determined “the data does not indicate any immediate public safety concerns,” according to Vargas’ statement.
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