San Diego, CA
Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine
My algorithm is permanently stuck in the dating world. Ads, social posts, articles, events, press releases—everything that has to do with finding love has come across my screen in the last year. And if all my fervent article reading and constant chats with experts and everyday daters have taught me anything, it’s that the way we search for the one follows fads like anything else—and things are shifting. With only a few more months to go in 2024, here are some of the trends that the industry is projecting for singles in 2025:
Daters Are Going Sober to Find Love
In July, Newsweek covered the rise of sober dating among Gen Zers and Millennials during a time when people are ditching alcohol (though, still staying “California sober”) at higher rates than previous generations. Even those not cutting alcohol out completely are scaling back—according to a study by NC Solutions, 41 percent of people are minimizing their use and prioritizing mental health.
This trend of dry dating has led to the creation of new NA apps such as Drybaby, Loosid, and Club Pillar, which aim to bring like-minded singles together in one place. Apps like these make it easier for sober singles to organize meetups while avoiding awkward conversations about not drinking on first, second, or future dates. They’re also drawing singles together IRL: Drybaby, for example, has partnered with NYC- and LA-based companies like The Feels, which hosts “mindful” events, and Reading Rhythms, a group that throws reading parties.
In an interview with Dazed magazine, Catherine Gray, author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, argues that drinking on dates can leave people confused about their true feelings. “Frequently, on the 7 p.m. first drink we’ll think, ‘Meh,’” she told the outlet. “On the second drink, ‘meh’ is a little more mesmerizing. Rinse and repeat four times, and suddenly you’re heavy petting someone you wouldn’t even ordinarily lightly pet.”
When dating dry, there’s no alcohol-induced cloudiness about whether someone is actually a good potential match. And, at the very least—during a time when most of us are just trying to figure out how to pay rent each month—spending money on expensive drinks can wait for later dates, when you’re sure you have a crush. Keep an eye out for more of these NA apps and dating events in 2025.
The Apps Are Here to Stay, But Users Aren’t
While dating apps aren’t necessarily going anywhere, users are starting to rely on them less when it comes to finding a potential partner. I wrote about this return to meeting people in person a few weeks back. It makes sense—we’re all burnt out and in need of a new way to find love, a fact that seems especially true for the younger generations.
Recently, Time published a piece on the members of Gen Z choosing to dtich dating apps. Data from a 2023 Statista survey showed that, in the US, Gen Z makes up only 26 percent of dating app users, while Millennials come in at 61 percent. CNN reported that “singles mixers and other group dating parties have made a comeback since the Covid-19 pandemic ended as singles look to get off their screens and meet potential partners in person.”
According to data from Eventbrite, attendance at singles’ events increased 42 percent between 2022 and 2023. Those numbers are even higher when it comes to game- or sports-based dating meetups. So, if you’re looking to date in the next year, consider how to get out in your community and meet someone at the many dating events that have been popping up lately.
Singles Are Doing Away With “Types”
This one is an interesting one. Contra-dating is a concept that involves intentionally dating people you would normally not choose in order to broaden your options. Many of us tend to stick with what we know, and, in the dating world, that can lead to a cycle of bad relationships—or closing yourself off to a potential match just because they don’t fit what you’re used to.
I love the idea that people are opening up their dating pool by purposefully spending time with those who aren’t their type. And the idea isn’t at all foreign in popular culture—Love is Blind (despite its issues) takes this type of thinking to the most extreme level, and even rom-coms have used that formula for decades, pairing two individuals who are wildly different and letting viewers watch as they eventually fall in love.
Contra-dating pushes you to be more open-minded and prioritize your core values over more surface-level things like physical appearance. It seems obvious to date outside of your normal pool, but how many of us actually take the leap? We often eliminate people quickly when they don’t match our past experiences or typical crush.
This type of dating can also expose individuals to new hobbies, activities, or ways of thinking—so even if you don’t fall in love with someone new, they may introduce you to your new favorite thing.
Living in the Moment, No Matter the Outcome
In my own dating life, I’ve learned that putting too much pressure early on can lead to unnecessary arguments. On the other hand, future-faking—a tactic where someone makes false promises about commitment to keep someone invested in a relationship—can be harmful to those who are genuinely seeking a long-term partner.
“NATO” dating, or “not attached to the outcome,” is a term used to describe a form of dating that places an emphasis on living in the moment, day-by-day, with potential matches. In an interview with The Star, Paul C. Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert, said, “Instead of rushing into a ‘happily ever after,’ [users are] focusing on using the dating journey to accumulate a roster of new experiences and memories that enhance their personal stories.”
When it comes to dating apps, every day can mean a new match or potential meetup—which, on the surface, can sound exciting. However, the amount of matches that don’t turn into a full-blown relationship can make us feel like there’s something wrong with us, not the algorithm.
Taking the NATO route means that you’re no longer worried about whether your next date is the one. Instead, you can free up your mind to take something away from every interaction you have, whether good or bad. Releasing our concerns about what’s next can also leave us more at ease when dating, meaning we’ll be more ourselves during those uncomfortable first meetups.
According to Forbes, the benefits of NATO dating include pursuing mindful partnerships, prioritizing personal growth, embracing singlehood, seeking meaningful experiences, and assessing true compatibility. It makes sense. This approach to dating can help you let go of timelines and pre-existing expectations and allow you to get to know a person without all the pressure and anxiety of finding the love of your life.
What do you think? What other dating trends and predictions have you seen lately? Let me know. Email me at [email protected] and let me know which topics you’d like me to dig deeper into.
If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.
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San Diego, CA
New chief named to lead Border Patrol in San Diego
The U.S. Border Patrol’s San Diego sector has a new chief patrol agent, a 25-year veteran who got his start in Imperial Beach, the agency announced Monday.
Justin De La Torre, a San Diego native, replaced acting Chief Patrol Agent Jeffrey Stalnaker in the top job. Stalnaker will remain on as deputy chief patrol agent.
“The men and women of San Diego sector have profoundly shaped my leadership by exemplifying our motto of ‘honor first’ in every aspect of their service,” De La Torre said in a statement. “Their dedication to the common good of the American people, both here in San Diego and across the nation, has strengthened my commitment to our mission.”
After beginning his career at the Imperial Beach station, he then went on to serve in various assignments in San Diego, including in the all-terrain vehicle unit, the alien smuggler identification and deterrence program, the public affairs office, the air mobile unit and the tactical unit, officials said.
De La Torre has also worked at Border Patrol headquarters in Washington, D.C., and was previously the chief agent in the Yuma sector, officials said.
As the top executive in the region, De La Torre will command around 2,000 Border Patrol agents along the 60 linear miles of border with Mexico, as well as the entire coast of California.
San Diego, CA
18-Year-Old Wanted For Shooting Rifle In San Diego County Arrested In Oklahoma
POWAY, CA — An 18-year-old wanted for various weapons violations in San Diego County was arrested Saturday in Oklahoma, authorities said.
Cameron Johnson fired a rifle in an open field Tuesday near Hidden Valley Drive and Birch Lane in Poway, according to the San Diego County Sheriff’s Office. Johnson, who was dressed in military-style fatigues, was in possession of a rifle that did not have a serial number when he was contacted by deputies.
“At this point, Johnson ran from deputies into an area with dense vegetation,” sheriff’s Lt. Colin Hebeler said. “Despite an hours-long search involving deputies, sheriff’s ASTREA (helicopter) and sheriff’s K-9s, Johnson was not located.”
Deputies found firearm parts without serial numbers and body armor when they served a search warrant at Johnson’s home, Hebeler said.
Johnson was wanted on suspicion of negligent discharge of a firearm, possession of an un-serialized assault rifle and violation of a gun violence restraining order, Hebeler said. The San Diego Superior Court issued a warrant for his arrest Thursday.
Johnson was located and arrested Saturday in Oklahoma City. He is expected to be booked into Oklahoma County Jail and returned to San Diego, Hebeler said. He is expected to face charges of illegal possession of an assault weapon and six counts of illegally possessing a firearm, ammunition, gun parts and magazines in violation of a gun violence restraining order.
San Diego, CA
Aztecs alone atop the Mountain West after beating Boise State
Chapter 10 in the San Diego State football team’s climb to the top of the Mountain West standings will be titled “Redemption in the Rain.”
SDSU defensive coordinator Rob Aurich offered the hopeful suggestion during warmups before the Aztecs played Boise State in a first-place showdown on a crisp, wet Saturday night at Snapdragon Stadium.
After a lopsided loss to Hawaii last week amid a steady rain in Honolulu, Aurich was eager to see his defense respond against the Broncos on a rare rain day in San Diego.
Boise State’s strong running game got its yards (164 of them), but the SDSU defense stood firm when it mattered most in the Aztecs’ 17-7 win before an announced crowd of 29,201 (15,804 turnstile), which weathered a night of intermittent rain that didn’t dampen the spirits of those in attendance.
SDSU took a 14-10 halftime lead and all but decided the matter on Gabe Plascencia’s 47-yard field goal with 10:51 remaining in the game.
While the Broncos put up some rushing yards, they paled in comparison to the 277 yards piled up by SDSU. Running backs Lucky Sutton (25 carries, 150 yards), who went over 1,000 yards for the season, and Christian Washington (9 carries, 98 yards) did most of the damage.
Those who braved the elements watched the Aztecs take control of the conference. SDSU (8-2, 5-1 MW) assumed a one-game lead in the Mountain West with two games remaining in the regular season. Boise State (6-4, 4-2) fell into a five-way tie for second place with Fresno State, Hawaii, New Mexico and UNLV.
The Aztecs close out the season with a home game Saturday night against San Jose State and a road game the day after Thanksgiving against New Mexico.
Boise State and SDSU have two of the better running teams around, and this contest set up as a ground-and-pound game even before weather put a premium on ball handling. For one thing, Boise State wanted to take the pressure off quarterback Max Cutforth (12-for-18, 108 yards), who was making his first start in place of the injured starter Maddux Madsen. Cutforth had fewer than 40 yards passing before a last-ditch drive that ended with Colton Boomer’s missed 41-yard field goal.
SDSU opened the scoring with a six-play, 80-yard scoring drive. Washington rushed five times for 79 of the yards, most of them coming on 41- and 26-yard runs that advanced the ball to Boise’s 1-yard line. SDSU quarterback Jayden Denegal (6-for-10, 17 yards) took it from there, pushing across the goal line for the final yard and a 7-0 lead with 13:15 remaining in the second quarter.
Boise State responded with a 14-play, 75-yard drive that included 13 rushes. interrupted only by a 6-yard pass by Cutforth. Broncos running backs Dylan Riley (21 carries, 79 yards) and Sire Gaines (13 carries, 78 yards) took turns moving the ball down the field before Riley evened the score on a 9-yard touchdown run with 5:29 remaining in the half.
Then it was SDSU’s turn again, and the Aztecs assembled an 11-play, 71-yard drive with running back Lucky Sutton handling the workload. Sutton rushed seven times, collecting 50 yards. Denegal attempted to pass twice, losing two yards on one attempt while the other was incomplete, before scoring on a 8-yard draw up the middle with 1:10 remaining in the half.
SDSU wide receiver Jordan Napier was the target on the sidline incompletion. He was injured on the play with 4:14 remaining in the half, heading to the treatment tent with a lower left leg injury. Napier did not return. No immediate update was available on his condition.
Linebackers Owen Chambliss and Mister Williams led the Aztecs with eight tackles apiece. The defense was boosted by cornerback Chris Johnson, who returned to the lineup after missing last week with a lower leg injury.
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