San Diego, CA
Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine
My algorithm is permanently stuck in the dating world. Ads, social posts, articles, events, press releases—everything that has to do with finding love has come across my screen in the last year. And if all my fervent article reading and constant chats with experts and everyday daters have taught me anything, it’s that the way we search for the one follows fads like anything else—and things are shifting. With only a few more months to go in 2024, here are some of the trends that the industry is projecting for singles in 2025:
Daters Are Going Sober to Find Love
In July, Newsweek covered the rise of sober dating among Gen Zers and Millennials during a time when people are ditching alcohol (though, still staying “California sober”) at higher rates than previous generations. Even those not cutting alcohol out completely are scaling back—according to a study by NC Solutions, 41 percent of people are minimizing their use and prioritizing mental health.
This trend of dry dating has led to the creation of new NA apps such as Drybaby, Loosid, and Club Pillar, which aim to bring like-minded singles together in one place. Apps like these make it easier for sober singles to organize meetups while avoiding awkward conversations about not drinking on first, second, or future dates. They’re also drawing singles together IRL: Drybaby, for example, has partnered with NYC- and LA-based companies like The Feels, which hosts “mindful” events, and Reading Rhythms, a group that throws reading parties.
In an interview with Dazed magazine, Catherine Gray, author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, argues that drinking on dates can leave people confused about their true feelings. “Frequently, on the 7 p.m. first drink we’ll think, ‘Meh,’” she told the outlet. “On the second drink, ‘meh’ is a little more mesmerizing. Rinse and repeat four times, and suddenly you’re heavy petting someone you wouldn’t even ordinarily lightly pet.”
When dating dry, there’s no alcohol-induced cloudiness about whether someone is actually a good potential match. And, at the very least—during a time when most of us are just trying to figure out how to pay rent each month—spending money on expensive drinks can wait for later dates, when you’re sure you have a crush. Keep an eye out for more of these NA apps and dating events in 2025.
The Apps Are Here to Stay, But Users Aren’t
While dating apps aren’t necessarily going anywhere, users are starting to rely on them less when it comes to finding a potential partner. I wrote about this return to meeting people in person a few weeks back. It makes sense—we’re all burnt out and in need of a new way to find love, a fact that seems especially true for the younger generations.
Recently, Time published a piece on the members of Gen Z choosing to dtich dating apps. Data from a 2023 Statista survey showed that, in the US, Gen Z makes up only 26 percent of dating app users, while Millennials come in at 61 percent. CNN reported that “singles mixers and other group dating parties have made a comeback since the Covid-19 pandemic ended as singles look to get off their screens and meet potential partners in person.”
According to data from Eventbrite, attendance at singles’ events increased 42 percent between 2022 and 2023. Those numbers are even higher when it comes to game- or sports-based dating meetups. So, if you’re looking to date in the next year, consider how to get out in your community and meet someone at the many dating events that have been popping up lately.
Singles Are Doing Away With “Types”
This one is an interesting one. Contra-dating is a concept that involves intentionally dating people you would normally not choose in order to broaden your options. Many of us tend to stick with what we know, and, in the dating world, that can lead to a cycle of bad relationships—or closing yourself off to a potential match just because they don’t fit what you’re used to.
I love the idea that people are opening up their dating pool by purposefully spending time with those who aren’t their type. And the idea isn’t at all foreign in popular culture—Love is Blind (despite its issues) takes this type of thinking to the most extreme level, and even rom-coms have used that formula for decades, pairing two individuals who are wildly different and letting viewers watch as they eventually fall in love.
Contra-dating pushes you to be more open-minded and prioritize your core values over more surface-level things like physical appearance. It seems obvious to date outside of your normal pool, but how many of us actually take the leap? We often eliminate people quickly when they don’t match our past experiences or typical crush.
This type of dating can also expose individuals to new hobbies, activities, or ways of thinking—so even if you don’t fall in love with someone new, they may introduce you to your new favorite thing.
Living in the Moment, No Matter the Outcome
In my own dating life, I’ve learned that putting too much pressure early on can lead to unnecessary arguments. On the other hand, future-faking—a tactic where someone makes false promises about commitment to keep someone invested in a relationship—can be harmful to those who are genuinely seeking a long-term partner.
“NATO” dating, or “not attached to the outcome,” is a term used to describe a form of dating that places an emphasis on living in the moment, day-by-day, with potential matches. In an interview with The Star, Paul C. Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert, said, “Instead of rushing into a ‘happily ever after,’ [users are] focusing on using the dating journey to accumulate a roster of new experiences and memories that enhance their personal stories.”
When it comes to dating apps, every day can mean a new match or potential meetup—which, on the surface, can sound exciting. However, the amount of matches that don’t turn into a full-blown relationship can make us feel like there’s something wrong with us, not the algorithm.
Taking the NATO route means that you’re no longer worried about whether your next date is the one. Instead, you can free up your mind to take something away from every interaction you have, whether good or bad. Releasing our concerns about what’s next can also leave us more at ease when dating, meaning we’ll be more ourselves during those uncomfortable first meetups.
According to Forbes, the benefits of NATO dating include pursuing mindful partnerships, prioritizing personal growth, embracing singlehood, seeking meaningful experiences, and assessing true compatibility. It makes sense. This approach to dating can help you let go of timelines and pre-existing expectations and allow you to get to know a person without all the pressure and anxiety of finding the love of your life.
What do you think? What other dating trends and predictions have you seen lately? Let me know. Email me at [email protected] and let me know which topics you’d like me to dig deeper into.
If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.
Unhinged Newsletter Sign-Up
By clicking Subscribe you’re confirming that you agree with our Terms and Conditions
San Diego, CA
Indigenous leaders from around the world gather in San Diego County to shape the future of sustainability
Members of the Kumeyaay Nation met with Indigenous leaders from around the world this week to discuss Indigenous ecological knowledge and envision how cities can incorporate it into their sustainability plans.
Held in celebration of Indigenous Heritage Week and Native American Heritage Month, the Sustainable Design Forum provided a space for Indigenous people to exchange their expertise on global issues such as wildlife conservation, climate change, deforestation and reef preservation.
The weeklong event featured panel discussions with leaders as well as cultural activities across the city, including a tule boat launch, art displays and a showcase of Indigenous films.
It was organized by San Diego Sister Cities and UC San Diego Global Initiatives and co-hosted by the Kumeyaay and Maasai people, an Indigenous group from Kenya.
The event highlighted the commonalities between Indigenous people across the globe — from the Tembé people of Alto Rio Guamá, Brazil, Ryukyuan people from Okinawa, Japan, to the Noongar and Nhanda Yamaji people from Perth, Australia — in their struggle to preserve their land and ways of life.
“The land that we come from is on both sides of the border: Half is on this side, another half is in Baja California, Mexico,” said Stan Rodriguez, president of the Kumeyaay Community College, to a group during the forum on Thursday.
After having suffered against centuries of colonization, “it’s important for us to keep our identity of who we are as Native people,” he added. “And that struggle is worldwide.”
Other local tribal members were also a part of the forum, including Stephen Cope, the chair of the San Pasqual Band of Mission Indians, and artist Johnny Bear Contreras, who moderated the panel discussion and recently created a living land acknowledgement sculpture installation at San Diego State University.
Several of the international leaders were welcomed to San Diego on Monday at the San Pasqual Reservation Cultural Center in Valley Center, including Walter McGuire, of the Noongar people from Australia, who performed an Aboriginal song using boomerangs as musical instruments.
“This has been a dream to bring us all together,” said Jessica Censotti, the executive director of San Diego Sister Cities, during the welcome ceremony.
Sister Cities International was founded in 1956 by President Eisenhower to establish connections based on “citizen diplomacy” — where residents could collaborate on economic, cultural, educational and community development without the influence of governments.
San Diego’s chapter was created more than 60 years ago and has 24 partnerships in 23 countries. But the Sustainable Design Forum, which has been in the works for nearly two years, is the first Indigenous gathering.
“We didn’t want just city-to-city, government-to-government,” Censotti said. “It was important … to bring Indigenous leaders together to create unity.”
Nashipae Nkadori, a member of the Maasai people of Kenya, said on Thursday evening before the panel discussion that she was most looking forward to sharing how her community is working to improve access to water. Currently, people must often walk 10 miles in the heat for water.
Other Maasai representatives were set to discuss wildlife conservation and how Kenyans can coexist with wild animals outside of designated parks.
“I’m looking to learn from the people who are not from Kenya,” she said, as well as encourage other communities to “join our efforts in some of the work we’ve been doing.”
Nkadori described the Maasai as “the face of Kenya” and noted that the tribe has worked to maintain its cultural traditions and lifestyles amid modernization across the country. But they have been forced to change in some ways.
The Masaai are considered pastoral, living semi-nomadically as they move with their livestock. But over recent years, climate change has led to severe famine and droughts, as well as economic shifts, and families can’t afford to raise as many animals as in the past.
Thousands of miles away in Japan, the Ryukyuan peoples have faced their own challenges.
Gabriel Sink traveled from the island of Okinawa with his sister and Kinjo Koji, a marine researcher who has played a key role in coral transplantation. Coral bleaching, caused by rising sea levels, has devastated large swaths of Okinawa’s reefs.
Sink, 22, said he’s glad to be able to help share Koji’s work on the global stage, especially since Okinawa is a small island and many of its inhabitants, especially those who are older, aren’t tech-savvy.
He’s also grateful to connect with other Indigenous communities that have faced years of oppression yet keep fighting for their languages and cultures.
“It’s so cool that everyone can meet up here,” Sink said. “I feel less alone.”
San Diego, CA
Little league raises funds for 4 kids whose parents were killed in Little Italy shooting
San Diego’s American Little League is raising money for the four kids whose parents were shot and killed in an ambush in Little Italy last week.
One of the children plays on the White Sox baseball team. The boys’ coach and members of the league organized a fundraiser Friday night at Memorial Community Park in Logan Heights.
A few Mexican comfort food favorites add a little comfort to the lives of the four children who have survived their parent’s deaths.
“You don’t expect these things to happen,” Coach Johnny Banuelos said.
Banuelos coaches the White Sox little league baseball team. He had to adjust his own emotional compass.
One of his players, 12-year-old Nathan, is the son of Jose Medina and Rachael Martinez. The couple was shot and killed while waiting in their car downtown for a court hearing.
“I hope he is able to move on in life and realize there is still good out there,“ Coach Banuelos said.
Coach Banuelos struggled with what to say but did not struggle with what to do. He organized a team of league volunteers and parents to sell food and raffle tickets. The proceeds will go to Nathan and his three siblings.
“My heart drops for them. I don’t know from here or another day. Maybe, I won’t be here. I would want somebody to reach out to my family as well,“ Estrella Flores said.
Flores’ daughter plays on the White Sox. She also runs the league concessions.
“These kids right now they have this hope that, they have all this love coming out from outside, not just their home,“ Flores.
The fundraiser is being held next to the White Sox home field. The night before the shooting the team had a scrimmage. The coach says Nathan had his first big hit and his parents got to see it.
The idea that their parents will miss the rest of their children’s accomplishments is unsettling to those supporting these fundraising efforts.
Daniel Paz is a classmate.
“It is really difficult to go through, especially at a young age. I really feel bad for him but I hope he is doing good,“ Paz said.
Dina Chan and Fiancée Matthew Rosenberg are friends of another player on the team.
“We didn’t believe what we were hearing on the news. I think it was like a shock factor,“ Chan said.
“It’s the holidays. These kids are now without their parents at the best time of the year. Now it’s the worst time of the year for them,“ Rosenberg said.
More than 200 people donated food, time, or money to make this a success. There was no goal set and no expectations to meet. Only the hope that some day these four orphaned children find peace in their lives.
“There is a God even though it might feel like, Where is God in this situation? We have to keep pushing forward,” Banuelos said.
The kids’ classmates from Logan Memorial Educational Campus also participated and donated to the fundraiser.
San Diego, CA
San Diego Unified School District receives report card from CA state
SAN DIEGO (KGTV) — The state of California recently released data showing how well schools around the San Diego area are doing, including San Diego Unified, the largest district in San Diego County.
“San Diego Unified continues to make progress in some areas,” San Diego Unified School Board President Shana Hazan said. “Progress is really significant.”
That’s the takeaway, as Hazan explained, the district’s latest report card from the state.
A positive: the district saw a 3% improvement in their college and career readiness numbers.
Currently, the district is almost 63%, while other comparable-sized districts like Los Angeles Unified sit at 45%.
“It’s not just about how kids are doing- sitting in the classrooms here,” Hazan said. “But how are they doing when they leave our system? Are our kids set up for success for the long term?”
An area the district needs to continue to improve in is absenteeism. Last school year, 21% of students struggled with attendance.
While that number has declined from the year before, it’s still a problem the district needs to tackle.
This year, they’ve tried different incentives for students, such as partnering up with the San Diego Padres to reward the school with the best attendance.
ABC 10News was there when Padres Superstar Manny Machado surprised Paradise Hills Elementary School students.
Another area the district is paying close attention to is graduation rates. They saw a slight decrease compared to the year before. The district connects that to changes to the state’s graduation waivers.
During the pandemic, the requirements to qualify for a waiver were loosened. Now, the restrictions are back.
So, now the question is, what happens next?
“As to how it relates to what’s happening in the classroom, our teachers receive information; they can see how they’re doing,” Hazan said. “Principals can see at the site level how students are doing, [they] use that data to really improve instruction based on the area of growth in their schools.”
-
Business7 days ago
Column: Molly White's message for journalists going freelance — be ready for the pitfalls
-
Science4 days ago
Trump nominates Dr. Oz to head Medicare and Medicaid and help take on 'illness industrial complex'
-
Politics6 days ago
Trump taps FCC member Brendan Carr to lead agency: 'Warrior for Free Speech'
-
Technology5 days ago
Inside Elon Musk’s messy breakup with OpenAI
-
Lifestyle6 days ago
Some in the U.S. farm industry are alarmed by Trump's embrace of RFK Jr. and tariffs
-
World6 days ago
Protesters in Slovakia rally against Robert Fico’s populist government
-
Movie Reviews1 week ago
'Heretic' Review – A Rube Goldberg Machine Dripping With Theological Boredom
-
News5 days ago
They disagree about a lot, but these singers figure out how to stay in harmony