San Diego, CA
Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine
My algorithm is permanently stuck in the dating world. Ads, social posts, articles, events, press releases—everything that has to do with finding love has come across my screen in the last year. And if all my fervent article reading and constant chats with experts and everyday daters have taught me anything, it’s that the way we search for the one follows fads like anything else—and things are shifting. With only a few more months to go in 2024, here are some of the trends that the industry is projecting for singles in 2025:
Daters Are Going Sober to Find Love
In July, Newsweek covered the rise of sober dating among Gen Zers and Millennials during a time when people are ditching alcohol (though, still staying “California sober”) at higher rates than previous generations. Even those not cutting alcohol out completely are scaling back—according to a study by NC Solutions, 41 percent of people are minimizing their use and prioritizing mental health.
This trend of dry dating has led to the creation of new NA apps such as Drybaby, Loosid, and Club Pillar, which aim to bring like-minded singles together in one place. Apps like these make it easier for sober singles to organize meetups while avoiding awkward conversations about not drinking on first, second, or future dates. They’re also drawing singles together IRL: Drybaby, for example, has partnered with NYC- and LA-based companies like The Feels, which hosts “mindful” events, and Reading Rhythms, a group that throws reading parties.
In an interview with Dazed magazine, Catherine Gray, author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, argues that drinking on dates can leave people confused about their true feelings. “Frequently, on the 7 p.m. first drink we’ll think, ‘Meh,’” she told the outlet. “On the second drink, ‘meh’ is a little more mesmerizing. Rinse and repeat four times, and suddenly you’re heavy petting someone you wouldn’t even ordinarily lightly pet.”
When dating dry, there’s no alcohol-induced cloudiness about whether someone is actually a good potential match. And, at the very least—during a time when most of us are just trying to figure out how to pay rent each month—spending money on expensive drinks can wait for later dates, when you’re sure you have a crush. Keep an eye out for more of these NA apps and dating events in 2025.
The Apps Are Here to Stay, But Users Aren’t
While dating apps aren’t necessarily going anywhere, users are starting to rely on them less when it comes to finding a potential partner. I wrote about this return to meeting people in person a few weeks back. It makes sense—we’re all burnt out and in need of a new way to find love, a fact that seems especially true for the younger generations.
Recently, Time published a piece on the members of Gen Z choosing to dtich dating apps. Data from a 2023 Statista survey showed that, in the US, Gen Z makes up only 26 percent of dating app users, while Millennials come in at 61 percent. CNN reported that “singles mixers and other group dating parties have made a comeback since the Covid-19 pandemic ended as singles look to get off their screens and meet potential partners in person.”
According to data from Eventbrite, attendance at singles’ events increased 42 percent between 2022 and 2023. Those numbers are even higher when it comes to game- or sports-based dating meetups. So, if you’re looking to date in the next year, consider how to get out in your community and meet someone at the many dating events that have been popping up lately.
Singles Are Doing Away With “Types”
This one is an interesting one. Contra-dating is a concept that involves intentionally dating people you would normally not choose in order to broaden your options. Many of us tend to stick with what we know, and, in the dating world, that can lead to a cycle of bad relationships—or closing yourself off to a potential match just because they don’t fit what you’re used to.
I love the idea that people are opening up their dating pool by purposefully spending time with those who aren’t their type. And the idea isn’t at all foreign in popular culture—Love is Blind (despite its issues) takes this type of thinking to the most extreme level, and even rom-coms have used that formula for decades, pairing two individuals who are wildly different and letting viewers watch as they eventually fall in love.
Contra-dating pushes you to be more open-minded and prioritize your core values over more surface-level things like physical appearance. It seems obvious to date outside of your normal pool, but how many of us actually take the leap? We often eliminate people quickly when they don’t match our past experiences or typical crush.
This type of dating can also expose individuals to new hobbies, activities, or ways of thinking—so even if you don’t fall in love with someone new, they may introduce you to your new favorite thing.
Living in the Moment, No Matter the Outcome
In my own dating life, I’ve learned that putting too much pressure early on can lead to unnecessary arguments. On the other hand, future-faking—a tactic where someone makes false promises about commitment to keep someone invested in a relationship—can be harmful to those who are genuinely seeking a long-term partner.
“NATO” dating, or “not attached to the outcome,” is a term used to describe a form of dating that places an emphasis on living in the moment, day-by-day, with potential matches. In an interview with The Star, Paul C. Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert, said, “Instead of rushing into a ‘happily ever after,’ [users are] focusing on using the dating journey to accumulate a roster of new experiences and memories that enhance their personal stories.”
When it comes to dating apps, every day can mean a new match or potential meetup—which, on the surface, can sound exciting. However, the amount of matches that don’t turn into a full-blown relationship can make us feel like there’s something wrong with us, not the algorithm.
Taking the NATO route means that you’re no longer worried about whether your next date is the one. Instead, you can free up your mind to take something away from every interaction you have, whether good or bad. Releasing our concerns about what’s next can also leave us more at ease when dating, meaning we’ll be more ourselves during those uncomfortable first meetups.
According to Forbes, the benefits of NATO dating include pursuing mindful partnerships, prioritizing personal growth, embracing singlehood, seeking meaningful experiences, and assessing true compatibility. It makes sense. This approach to dating can help you let go of timelines and pre-existing expectations and allow you to get to know a person without all the pressure and anxiety of finding the love of your life.
What do you think? What other dating trends and predictions have you seen lately? Let me know. Email me at [email protected] and let me know which topics you’d like me to dig deeper into.
If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.
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San Diego, CA
Got a medical question? This East County library has answers.
Everyone has medical questions at one time or another, and it’s tempting to search the internet for answers instead of making a doctor’s appointment.
But that doesn’t always lead to the best information, said Holland Kessinger, head librarian at the Health and Wellness Library in La Mesa.
“Anybody can put anything out on the internet,” she cautioned. “We want people to really develop their health literacy and discern what quality and authoritative, reliable health information looks like, and Google is not always it.”
Kessinger said good advice can be found online, and staff at the library can help lead people to reliable sources such as MedLine Plus. For people who want hands-on material, the library has a collection of almost 5,000 items, including books on specific diseases, cookbooks in a nutrition section and children’s material with a play area.
There’s also a DVD section of health-related movies and TV shows plus stations where people can check their blood pressure for free and small offices for patrons to research in private.
“We’re often stressed and emotional when we receive information about our health,” Kessinger said. “And so giving people quality information is really, really key to helping them stay healthy and get help.”
The library is at 9001 Wakarusa St., La Mesa, and was opened in 2002 by the Grossmont Healthcare District, which still runs it.
The district includes Alpine, El Cajon, Harbinson-Crest, Jamul, La Mesa, Laguna-Pine Valley, Lakeside, Lemon Grove, Mountain Empire, Santee, and Spring Valley. District residents can get a library card and check out material, while the library itself is open to anyone for on-site research.
Residents in the district also get priority to participate in programs such as fitness classes and Wellness Wednesday talks, and Kessinger said the library had just over 9,000 visitors in 2023 and about 3,100 in the last quarter.
For district residents who can’t make it to the brick and mortar building, a mobile version will be coming to them sometime in the spring.
Grossmont Healthcare District CEO Christian Wallis, who has referred to the library as the best-kept secret in the county, said a van is being retrofitted and will bring library material to different areas of the district when it is up and running.
“Our library is a unique community resource and one of only a few consumer health libraries in the country,” he said. “The number of users from the immediate surrounding area has grown over the years. The Board of Directors’ intention in developing the mobile outreach library is to ensure everyone in East County has access to high quality, reliable health information.”
Kessinger said the library is not unlike any public library, although this one has just one section.
“It’s consumer health written for the average person,” she said. “Not for a medical professional, not doctors, not nurses, but for the average consumer. So there are very, very few public libraries that focus just on consumer health.”
The library, the only one of its kind in the county, includes an art gallery that is changed quarterly and currently features work created by participants in Family Health Center’s PACE (Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly) program. In January, the gallery will feature work created by the San Diego River Artists Alliance.
One section is for health careers and used by many students in Grossmont Union School District’s Health Pathways program. Students and other visitors can find books on dental schools, medical emergency dispatching and how to become a nurse or a certified nursing assistant, among other subjects.
The library also has sections on men’s and women’s health, a display a vintage medical equipment and plastic models of human organs.
Originally Published:
San Diego, CA
San Diegans rush to grocery stores for last-minute Christmas, Hanukkah essentials
In the final hours before Christmas and Hanukkah, San Diegans flocked to grocery stores across the region to pick up their final – and some forgotten – items ahead of their holiday feasts.
“We’re getting some rye bread, some turkey, some tongue, which is a Jewish deli specialty. It may turn some folks off, but it’s delicious,” Zach Bunshaft said.
Bunshaft was part of a group of 16 relatives gathering Tuesday at D.Z. Akin’s deli in La Mesa for their annual Hanukkah celebration.
“Family,” he and his mother, Lori, said in unison, when asked about their favorite part of the holidays.
“And food — memories of good food,” she added. “The latkes, fried foods, brisket, getting together with family.”
At El Indio Mexican Restaurant, that same love of food and family meant the line for tamales and masa stretched out the door.
“It’s been fun,” El Indio manager Ed Sanchez said. “Seeing the people happy, getting here with their families, and I know they’re getting together tonight, so yeah, that’s the happiest thing for us.”
Sanchez said the restaurant — which has been open since 1940 — has sold more than 25,000 tamales in December alone and sold at least 5,000 pounds of masa on Tuesday for families to gather and make tamales themselves on Christmas Eve.
“I remember making them with my great-grandmother, my grandmother, my mom, my whole extended family, and now we make it with our nieces and nephews and just, it’s a really nice tradition,” Diana Cantu said.
San Diego, CA
Photos: Arc of San Diego's 2024 Winter Wonderland Fashion Show
By Jackie Bryant
Jackie is San Diego Magazine’s and Studios’ content strategist. Prior to that, she was its managing editor. Before her SDM career, she was a long-time freelance journalist covering cannabis, food/restaurants, travel, labor, wine, spirits, arts & culture, design, and other topics. Her work has been selected twice for Best American Travel Writing, and she has won a variety of national and local awards for her writing and reporting.
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