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Embracing Living & Grieving – San Diego Jewish World

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Embracing Living & Grieving – San Diego Jewish World


By Shayna Kaufmann

Shayna Kaufmann

SAN DIEGO —  Living and grieving co-exist. I was reminded of this yet again, in a palpable way, while on a recent trip to Scotland. I was visiting my daughter, Maya, who is studying in Glasgow for the semester. It was the second morning of my trip. I awoke to a string of frantic WhatsApp texts, from friends in my women’s group, about Angela, one of our intimate group of 10. The most recent text, written hours before, said, “She’s gone.” It was followed by a slew of broken hearted emojis.

I could not breathe much less wrap my head around those shocking words. I just saw her in the hospital, only days before I left San Diego. We knew her cancer prognosis was serious but none of us thought that death was at her door. I looked at my daughter, asleep next to me in my hotel bed, took my phone into the bathroom to track what happened, and sobbed.

Exactly one week before, the night before her scheduled surgery, I went with several other women in our group to visit Angela in the hospital. She was dressed in regular clothes, walking around, and looking as alive and beautiful as always. We talked about the surgery and how we could support her in her recovery. The seven of us seemed more worried and tense than Angela.

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Then, we made a huddle with Angela, wrapped our arms around each other, and sang a melodic healing prayer. At one point, I glanced up at Angela, and saw her intently listening, with an angelic smile on her face. Though she knew (we did not) that her cancer had metastasized, there was not a hint of fear or sorrow on her face. She appeared to be fully taking in every second of her life. When the prayer was over, we stayed in our huddle and silently swayed. None of us wanted to let go.

When I read the shocking news, I briefly thought about returning home to go to her funeral. I was double crushed to miss it. But Maya, Tara (my oldest who was soon joining us), and I would have also been crushed if I left. My compromise, supported by my daughters, was to return to San Diego a few days early, in order to attend the last night of Shiva (a Jewish memorial gathering in the days following one’s burial.)

Despite Angela’s passing, my week in Scotland was wonderful. The varied scenery and topography were breathtaking. I treasured the time with my young adult daughters, perhaps even more than usual, as Angela’s death drilled into me the preciousness and unpredictability of time. We laughed, shared “adult” stories, ate, drank, had deep conversations, and gasped together as I nervously navigated roundabouts and single-lane, two-way roads, while driving on the left-hand side of the road. An unexpected highlight, was our giddy time eating and talking in the car, while waiting hours for help to change a pot-hole demolished tire. None of us got upset or complained. It was what it was.

And, I often cried when I thought about Angela. On one particular drive, in the awe-inspiring Isle of Sky, Maya, our navigator and DJ, played some soulful Celtic music. The combined sounds and sights unleashed a barrage of tears. My daughters were old enough to understand that I needed to cry, and held space for me to let them roll. As I cried, I breathed in the spacious air and looked at the billowy clouds in a rare sunny sky. I was living and grieving.

Grief is part of life. It is inevitable. If we are grieving, we are living, though it can be easy to get lost  in a cloud of detached grief. Amidst my sorrow over Angela, I felt even more grateful for my life, my fortunate opportunities, and my treasured time with Tara and Maya. Angela did the same in the waning days of her life. I watched her joking around with her kids in the hospital, all the while knowing her remaining time on earth would be brief.

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May you all remember to create space to live as you navigate life’s inevitable losses. There is room for both.

*
Dr. Shayna Kaufmann, a psychologist, received her mindfulness teacher training through Dharma Moon and Tibet House US. She leads meditation workshops and retreats and teaches mindfulness individually.



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San Diego, CA

Joan Endres – San Diego Union-Tribune

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Joan Endres – San Diego Union-Tribune



Joan Endres


OBITUARY

Born January 1939 in Cincinnati Ohio. Died February 14, 2026, in San Diego, California, with her sons at her side. Her beloved husband Dean passed away in 2010.

Joan was the only child of Thomas and Edna Palmer. In 1943, the family moved to San Diego, where Joan graduated from Helix High School in 1956.

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In 1957 Joan married Dean Endres of San Diego, where they raised two sons. Joan followed her two great passions outside the home, the Arts, and Gardening. Both activities being a way to bring beauty to others and to the community.

Joan received a degree in Environmental Design from San Diego State University, and afterwords worked at UCSD, for the Campus Architect.

As an artist, Joan worked in various media, especially ceramics. She was active in many cultural and arts organizations, eventually becoming President of the Combined Organization for the Visual Arts (COVA). Later she turned to gardening, with the Water Conservation Garden at Cuyamaca Community College and the Master Gardener Association of San Diego County.

Joan is survived by her son Jeff and wife Katrin, grandson Jackson, and son Todd Endres, all of La Mesa, and sisters Alice Buck of Phoenix, Elaine Kennedy of San Diego, Nancy and husband Don Jones of Vista, Eva Budzinski of Cloudcroft, New Mexico, and their children and grandchildren.

There will be a Celebration of Life for Joan in the near future. Those who wish to attend should contact celebratejoanuvart@gmail.com to receive details when they are confirmed. In lieu of flowers, the family respectfully suggests a donation to the Water Conservation Garden or the Diego Visual Arts Network (SDVAN).

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San Diego State moves back into NCAA Tournament field in latest ESPN Bracketology

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San Diego State moves back into NCAA Tournament field in latest ESPN Bracketology


The San Diego State Aztecs’ have moved off the bubble and back into the NCAA Tournament’s Field of 64 in the latest ESPN’s Bracketology projections.

The Aztecs must feel like a yo-yo, but now it’s in a good way. Bracket expert Joe Lunardi moved them from the bottom of the First Four Out — No. 72 — to holding the Mountain West’s automatic bid after an 89-72 home romp Wednesday night over Utah State, which had held the auto-bid in bracketology for a few weeks now. 

Lunardi now has the Aztecs as the No. 11 seed in the West Region, with a projected first-round date against former MW rival BYU in Portland. 

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Lunardi wrote that SDSU’s auto-bid “shifts the entire bubble.”

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Wednesday night’s victory not only pulled the Aztecs (19-8, 13-4) into a tie with Utah State (23-5, 13-4) atop the MW standings, but it was just their second Quad 1 victory in six such opportunities. 

SDSU’s next two games are both Quad 1 chances, at New Mexico on Saturday and then at Boise State on Tuesday night. 

The win lifted the Aztecs only one spot in the NCAA NET Rankings, to No. 43.  Those rankings are used by the NCAA Tournament Selection Committee as the primary sorting tool for selection and seeding for March Madness.

SDSU’s resume for earning an at-large berth has been on shaky ground all season, and was seriously damaged last week when the Aztecs lost at home to Grand Canyon and were then routed at Colorado State, both Quad 2 games.

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SDSU’s best bet to assure a trip to March Madness for the sixth straight season is to win the MW tournament in Las Vegas and claim the automatic bid. That requires winning three games in as many days, and perhaps a third showdown against the Aggies, who beat the Aztecs 71-66 in Logan on Jan. 31.

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Lunardi now has Utah State projected as an at-large team, but still with the No. 7 seed in the East, facing No. 10 Texas A&M in a first-round game in St. Louis. 

New Mexico (21-7, 12-5), lurking just a game behind SDSU and USU, has dropped from the Last Four In at No. 68 to the First Four Out at No. 70. 

The Aztecs were the unanimous preseason pick to win the MW regular-season title in their final season in the league before moving into the Pac-12 along with Utah State, Boise State, Fresno State and Colorado State. 

Saturday’s game at New Mexico is set to tip off at 11 a.m. PT and will air on CBS.

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Oregon State Dismantles San Diego 83-49

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Oregon State Dismantles San Diego 83-49


The top teams in the West Coast Conference are jockeying for position in the standings as the regular season draws to a close, and the Oregon State women took care of business Thursday night, blowing out the San Diego Toreros 83-49 to move to 21-9 on the season, and 13-4 in conference play.


Oregon State’s Tiara Bolden Grabs WCC Honor After 44 Points Over Two Games

The Toreros have been a basement dweller in the conference for the last few seasons, so this result isn’t surprising, though it’s magnitude is a bit eye-raising. The Beavers wasted no time putting San Diego into a hole, opening the first quarter on an 8-0 run that Tiara Bolden and Kennedie Shuler getting involved early. Oregon State held a 14 point, 26-12 lead after one.

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The second quarter wasn’t as lopsided, but San Diego wasn’t able to make much headway into the Beaver lead. Six points from Olivia Owens kept San Diego within shooting distance, but defensive pressure from Kennedie Shuler and strong rebounding from Lizzy Williamson kept the Toreros under control. Oregon State ended the first half up by 13, 40-27.

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Oregon State Dominates Cougars in 79-51 Blowout

Oregon State tightened their grip in the third. While Olivia Owens and Kylie Ray managed to give the Toreros some hope early in the quarter, Oregon State went on a run late in the period to get their lead to 21 at the highest. San Diego finally snapped the Beaver hot streak, but a three from Kennedie Shuler ended the quarter in a 61-43, 18 point Beaver lead.

The bottom seemed to fall out of San Diego in the fourth, with the Toreros only putting six points on the board. Tiara Bolden and Kennedie Shuler kept the points flowing for the Beavers, while Lizzy Willilamson continued to dominate the boards. A layup with an and one from Elisa Mehyar were the last Beaver points of the game, giving Oregon State a 34 point, 83-49 win.


Oregon State Takes Down Portland 64-54 in Season Saving Game

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It was a good night for several Beavers, with Kennedie Shuler once again leading the team in scoring. She finished the night with 22 points, four rebounds, three assists, two blocks and two steals. She can do just about everything on the court.

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Tiara Bolden continued her hot streak with a 17 point night, along with four rebounds and four assists. Jenna Villa added 14 points, one rebound and one assist. Lizzy Williamson added another double double to her resume, with 10 points and 12 rebounds.


Oregon State’s Winning Streak Ends With 55-51 Loss to LMU

There’s one last item on the agenda for Oregon State, a season-closing meeting with the Loyola Marymount Lions Saturday at Gill Coliseum. The Lions handed Oregon State their first WCC loss of the season back in January, so getting some revenge before the conference tournament would be a good statement from the team. Tip off is set for 1 PM PT.



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