The_Badwater over at Addicted to Quack was kind enough to answer all of my ridiculous questions on Oregon, the Pac-12, and his knowledge of Midwestern terms like “ope.” Thanks for your thoughts!

There’s something to this entire feature that feels like a blind date or an arranged marriage. Let’s get to know each other.

Pac-12 Culture

This isn’t really a question and more of a prompt for a ragepost: the Pac-12 and George Kliavkoff and realignment and USC/UCLA. What the hell happened? What other conference alternative would you have preferred for Oregon?

George Kliavkoff and USC/UCLA aren’t necessarily the villains in this sordid tale. The demise of the Pac-12 rests at the feet of former commissioner Larry Scott. Scott whiffed badly on two fronts: He did not bring in Oklahoma and Texas when that was an option, and completely screwed up on the structure and streaming of the Pac-12 Network. Your readers should answer a question in their heads: Have you ever seen a game on the Pac-12 Network? Did you even have access to the Pac-12 Network? (I’m obviously referring to before June 30th of this year). I would bet a lot of money – and win a lot of money – by saying your readers would overwhelmingly answer No and No. Scott was never able to get a contract with Direct TV, and that’s the most glaring faux pas of his inability to monetize Pac-12 sports. So while the rest of the country can’t and doesn’t see Pac-12 sports, Larry Scott is enabled by idiot Pac-12 presidents who just rubber stamp his idiocy while everyone watches the Pac-12 sink into the abyss.

To really get at the root of all this badness, read John Canzano’s coverage of all things Pac-12 and what went wrong. JC was really the first to dig into the things that were wrong and going wrong in the Pac-12, and readers of John Canzano are not at all surprised at what has transpired. Sad, yes. Surprised, no.

I do not have another conference alternative for Oregon. I think that landing in the B1G is a home run for the Ducks.

Was the B1G adding Oregon more or less absurd than adding Rutgers/Maryland in 2014?

Oh, less absurd by far. Love them or/and hate them, everyone knows who the Oregon Ducks are. There’s a tradeoff here – the B1G is not getting a huge TV market that Seattle and Los Angeles are providing; they are getting a college brand that everyone knows. Whether you like them or not, everyone knows the Ducks.

Explain the Oregon/Washington rivalry. How bitter is it? Is there a trophy? If not, show that you understand B1G culture by creating the dumbest trophy imaginable.

OMG, I’m laughing so hard at the dumbest trophy reference and I’m hoping for inspiration during this writing.

There is not a font size large enough for this declaration: OREGON HATES WASHINGTON. I would say that’s always been the case, but I have no basis to support that statement. It’s not just that the fanbase is condescending – they are, and so is USC – it’s that the Seattle media has always been condescending about the Oregon Ducks. Look, I lived with my parents for awhile in the Seattle area between 1990-1993. It was fantastic to be in the middle of the grunge universe while it was happening. But the Don James teams trampled on everything in their path, including Oregon, and even after he resigned in disgrace the fans and media have always acted like it’s their birthright to lord over the lowly Ducks. I was traveling on business to Seattle in 2007 and could only listen to Seattle radio while doing my thing, and meanwhile Dennis Dixon and Co. were killing the huskies 55-34. But you would never know it by listening to the husky radio broadcast or the insufferable Softy. WE HATE washington.

Meanwhile, while the huskies are basking in their self-inflicted birthright, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Autzen:

The huskies were ranked as high as ninth in 1994, but stumbled badly at the end of the season. Meanwhile, 1994 is the year that the Oregon Ducks began to become relevant in Pac-12 football, and eventually on the national stage. Still, the huskies are a sore spot. Rick Neuheisel and his team stomping on the O in Autzen after winning in 2002 helped to cement the hatred in this rivalry. Probably the only rivalry that exceeds this hate level is Ohio St./Michigan.

I can’t really think of a dumb trophy for this rivalry because a dumb trophy already exists for Oregon/Oregon State: The Platypus. It’s a real trophy and it’s dumb as hell.

What pejorative or insulting nicknames, phrases, or references do we need to know to immediately get under the skin of Washington fans?

0-12.

How does the UW/Oregon rivalry compare to the Oregon/Oregon State rivalry? How are they different? Which fans are worse?

The two really don’t compare. UW/Oregon have dominated one another at different points in the past 40 years and that’s the only game we consider a rivalry game. Oregon State…not so much. Oregon State is Little Brother to us, and it’s not up to the level of UW/UO. In fact, there are plenty of fans (myself included) that root for the Beavers unless they are playing us. (That’s especially true for fans from 35 years ago to date. Older fans and alumni think of UO/ORst more in terms of being “the” rivalry – but even they save plenty of hate for the huskies). UW fans have always been and always will be worse, for the aforementioned reasons.

Which B1G stadium do you most want to see a game at?

I personally would love to see a game in Happy Valley. I think Penn State fans are awesome and would love to experience that atmosphere.

Duck Culture and Bee One Gee Culture

Would you mind defining the Midwestern term “ope” for us? And if you were leaving a social event, how many times and locations would you need to say goodbye at in order to politely exit the scene?

This is where I have to preface by saying I’m totally a westerner. I’ve lived in only Washington, Oregon, and California, and always within an hour’s drive from the Pacific Ocean. Everyone is an Easterner to me. Colorado is in the west, you say? Denver is 19.5 hours of driving east; so, they be easterners. The Midwest? No, that’s the Mideast to me. Eastern seaboard? You mean the Far East?

If we’re talking the west coast, however, I’ve been everywhere from Blaine to San Ysidro and all points in between. Other than Miami and the Keys, the farthest east I’ve been is Columbia, Missouri. I don’t go east very often.

This admission of half-jests means that I had not a clue what “ope” means. Still don’t, really, just because it doesn’t have a synonymic word or use out here in the West. I only know that because of my good friend Google – I mean, I literally have never heard it used in conversation. That’s one of those curious cultural differences between different places in the country. Exiting a social event is another example. I’ll say bye to the people I know and I’m outta there. My wife is a different story. She is half Apache and came to Oregon From North Carolina by way of Texas and Louisiana, and she has to talk to EVERYONE. She has to say goodbye to EVERYONE. I don’t have that kind of words reservoir. I’m tapped out after 1000 or so words and I’m done. It’s a product of who we are and where we’ve lived, I guess.

That’s not to say I won’t talk with strangers; it’s just that there has to be a catalyst or a reason for me to start talking with you. I was at the Denver Airport on a layover and told the wife over the phone that I had extended conversations with three different strangers, and she’s always surprised when I do that, because like a true westerner I generally keep to myself. She was all “Wow”, and I said “Yeah, well now I’m out of words and exhausted. Don’t talk to me for a week.”

Our campuses are adjacent to lakes and cornfields and situated in cities big and small and beautiful and also West Lafayette. What’s the Oregon campus like?

The Oregon campus is something of a reflection of Eugene. Eugene is surrounded by hills and mountain foothills on the west, south, and east sides, with the Willamette Valley stretching 100 miles north to Portland. The campus is a one hour drive to the ocean on one side and an hour drive into the Cascades to the nearest ski resort. The UO campus is sprinkled with buildings old and new, and littered with tall douglas fir and redwoods.

Eugene is at the convergence of two rivers: the McKenzie and the Willamette, but it’s the Willamette that runs through campus and past Autzen Stadium. It’s not uncommon to see turkey vultures, bald eagles, or osprey from the upper areas of the stadium.

Head north of Eugene and you’ll immediately hit farmland and there are some good roadside stands and farmers markets.

The cities of Eugene and Springfield are on opposite sides of the Willamette River, and the population total is maybe 260,000 together. That makes the nearest larger city north at about 2 hours (Portland) and south is about 6 hours (Redding, CA). Oh, that’s another quirk about living in Eugene, and the rest of Oregon – Oregon is a much larger and more open state than you might realize, and we describe distance in terms of hours, not miles. Bend is about 2.5 hours east. Medford is about 2 hours and 15 minutes south. And in between is a lot of open country.

A last word about Eugene is that it’s probably the biggest small town that I’ve ever lived and worked in. Anyone that has lived here for a long enough stretch (I’ve lived here for over 30 years) knows someone who knows someone who knows me. It’s that kind of town.

What sort of tailgating scene is there at Autzen Stadium? What sort of day-of things do fans do that are unique to Oregon?

The tailgating scene isn’t quite what it was 20 or 30 years ago, simply because what was formerly a lot of parking has been eaten up by sports fields and facilities. Tailgating will be spread out into nearby areas and parking lots as well as the reserved parking at the stadium. Most fans will not drive to Autzen, but will instead shuttle from a half dozen or so parking areas in Eugene and Springfield. That’s really the way to go and everyone knows it. Trying to drive near Autzen is a nightmare, and Eugene really has their shuttle system down. I was at the Rose Bowl in 2010, and trying to find a place to park was horrible. Pasadena does not have it together.

I’m a poor resource for tailgating info and what fans do, because I haven’t tailgated in over 20 years. And these days I cover the home games from the press box in Autzen so I’m very much removed from the fan environment, much more so than when I was a season ticket holder.

Why did Oregon ever go away from the Webfoots nickname?

In a sense, they haven’t, because the “Ducks” word came about as a shortened word for the Webfoots. This was probably inspired by two things: Having a live duck as a mascot in the 1920s and 1930s, and because the shortened word meant that you could use larger typeface in your newspaper headlines. Then, in the late 40’s Oregon co-opted the likeness of Donald Duck with a handshake agreement from Walt Disney, and Oregon edged ever closer to being the Ducks.

I think it would be hilarious to have a live duck in a pond by the endzone, but it’s probably for the better because I’d spend too much time watching Puddles.

What’s the deal with the Duck? Why doesn’t he have a name? Also, why doesn’t he have pants?

The live Duck that we used to have 90 years ago did have a name, Puddles. You can’t really put a name on what is Donald Duck; he’s Donald, right? Except that Oregon has rights to the image, not the name. Naming the Oregon mascot is too problematical, because everyone knows that he’s Donald Duck. He is therefore the Oregon Duck. And I’ve never understood why Donald Duck does not have pants…if I went down that rabbit hole I probably would not be able to escape. Just look away, nothing to see here, folks…

I will say that it shouldn’t be a mystery why the Oregon Duck is the mascot that’s the most recognized in college sports. It’s iconic in a way that the mascots for Colorado, USC, Florida State, and others are, but even more so. I mean, everyone knows who Donald Duck is. A five year old child has no idea what the other sports mascots are, but they know Donald Duck when they see him. You see this especially at basketball games – everyone, regardless of age and even fans from other teams – everyone gravitates to the Oregon Duck and wants to interact with him and take pictures.

My second favorite mascot is the Stanford Tree, and it’s for much the same reason: everyone knows what a tree is. There’s a lot of mascots that I can’t figure out, it’s like what the hell are you? WHAT ARE YOU??

2023 Redux

Last year was a damn good run for Oregon football, between beating the snot out of Colorado to a near-Heisman year for Bo Nix. What was your favorite play/moment/game of last year’s season? What was your favorite Oregon football season/player before 2023?

Without a doubt, the Colorado game was my favorite, especially in the context of the Cinematic Recap:

You could pick any number of plays from that game. Autzen was on fire, and the Buffaloes never recovered from that beatdown.

Bo Nix is my favorite Duck to date, dude is a class act and shows what it means to be a Duck. It’s too difficult for me to pick a single favorite season, because I have different favorites for different reasons. Favorite players is kind of the same for me, but I’m going to single out LaMichael James. He was always a stud on the field, but did a lot of community and social work that most fans would not know about because he didn’t advertise, he just went out and did it. James owns a Killer Burger restaurant in Eugene. It’s at the Oakway Center on Coburg Road, and is within walking distance of Autzen.

Oregon has had a rotating cast of coaches since Chip Kelly left in the mid-2010s. Taggart lasted a season, Helfrich had his moments, and Cristobal bounced for Miami. What’s the fanbase vibe on Dan Lanning? From an outsider, he seems like his players would run through brick walls for him, but he’s also a little unhinged?

All Oregon fans love Dan Lanning, because he’s a Duck. He’s all-in, and we know it. For the Oregon fans this is a very relaxing breeze. Rich Brooks and Mike Belotti were Ducks, they had the loyalty, if you will, that made them Ducks. Loyalty to the school, loyalty to the fans. Chip Kelly may have had a great run at Oregon, but he was never a Duck. He was kind of snarky and sarcastic, and it was no surprise when he moved on. Helfrich wanted to be a Duck, but he crashed the Ferrari. It’s too bad, because Helfrich bleeds green and yellow. He just isn’t head coach material. Taggart and Cristobal were not Ducks. They bounced when it was convenient. Oregon fans got used to coaches being loyal to the team, school, and players, and it’s not realistic to expect that from coaches and the coaching carousel that happens these days.

Dan Lanning: HOLD MY BEER

Lanning is the coach that Oregon has always wanted and the person/coach that Oregon holds in high esteem. Stories abound about his interacting with people and fans when he’s out and about in Oregon. He’s a winner and has demonstrated – and will continue to demonstrate – his loyalty to the University of Oregon. I can’t fault the chirpers for chirping when a big time head coach position opens up (like Alabama, but it won’t ever be limited to just them), because coaches bolt. All coaches except Dan Lanning, that is. Using “I’m not leaving” and “The grass is damn green in Eugene” is a brilliant recruiting tool, but it’s rooted in Lanning’s sincerity. The Ducks are going to be a problem for other B1G teams for the foreseeable future.

2024 Schedule

Do you anticipate schedule time zone shenanigans when football starts, like having to play in Maryland at 11 am local or something like that?

Not really. I don’t think we’ll see west coast teams playing quite that early. Even if a game starts at 12:30, it will be far more preferable to having a west coast game that starts at 10:30 pm ET and having no one watch it.

How do you think the schedule worked out? Getting Ohio State at home should be a massive title implications game and at the Big House should be interesting if Michigan can reload. Otherwise, Michigan State/Illinois/Maryland/Wisconsin isn’t a bad draw.

We’re excited at all these matchups, not just this season but in seasons to come. It’s not just the quality of programs, it’s in playing programs that we know nothing about, like Illinois. I’m looking forward to all these games against teams we haven’t seen much of, and now that’s changed. It’s a brave new world.

Who in the B1G could you see a legitimate rivalry with (beyond the former P4 folks)? Which school did you totally forget existed in the conference?

I watch only college football, and don’t really follow the pros at all, so I and the rest of the staff at ATQ know of the teams. It will probably be different for average fans that don’t follow eastern team much, if at all. That’s all going to change.

As for a new rivalry, that’s an organic thing that will have to play out. Circumstances create rivalries and so we’ll see how this goes. But maybe Penn State? We played them in the ‘95 Rose Bowl, so it’s not like the seeds of a potential rivalry don’t exist.

Non-Football

For basketball, what is the level of fan interest? Is Dana Altman on the hot seat? Are the memories of the Final Four run in 2017 still fresh, or has too much time passed?

First off, Dana Altman’s seat isn’t even remotely warm. He’s not a future HOF coach for nothing, and the Ducks have been dealing with very significant injury issues the past two seasons. The memories of all things pre-pandemic are faded; the landscape is much changed from the effects of the transfer portal and NIL. Fan interest can be wishy-washy at times, but that’s to be expected when the team has problems being competitive due to injury. The team will have a very different look this year and we’ll see what happens.

Which non-football sport is Oregon sneaky-good at? (No, don’t mention track and field).

Volleyball. Head coach Matt Ulmer has put together an excellent program that shows progress every year. The Ducks may not be on the level of Nebraska and Wisconsin, but they are close. I’m very much looking forward to the coming volleyball season.

Ok, sure. Hit us with some Swoosh-sponsored track and field stats.

I’ll hit you with a name: Jaida Ross

https://x.com/GoDucks/status/1807230899748282400

Ross is an Oregon star in the women’s shot put who is from Medford, OR (which I established is about 2 hours and 15 minutes south). She placed third in the Olympic Trials held in Eugene, and will be representing the USA in the upcoming Paris games.

Man, this was a lot of words. I’m exhausted. Don’t talk to me for a week.