The wave of recent accusations about sexual abuse of North Texas children by people parents entrusted their kids to — including religious leaders, an assistant at a pediatric clinic and a private school caregiver — are deeply disturbing.

Among the stories is Dallas Morning News faith reporter Adrian Ashford’s profile and interview with Cindy Clemishire, who went public in June accusing evangelical celebrity Robert Morris of sexually abusing her for more than four years, beginning in 1982 when she was 12.

Morris, founder and longtime senior pastor of Gateway Church in Southlake, has made one public statement, admitting in a June Christian Post article to “inappropriate sexual behavior with a young lady.” He resigned from his megachurch four days after Clemishire’s accusations.

All these reports shake our faith and conversations turn to, “What’s gone wrong in institutions like churches and schools that allow such despicable realities to unfold?”

It’s a reasonable question, but it overlooks the bigger problem. Children are victimized by adults every day and in every community, this one included. A new case of child sexual abuse is documented every nine minutes, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network.

Every account of a scout leader, youth minister or Little League coach sexually abusing children should be a warning to parents to stay vigilant about the access other adults have to their kids. If someone seems more interested in your child than you are, that’s a red flag.

Research overwhelmingly points to sexual abuse taking place in the home with the likeliest predator being a family member or a known, trusted visitor.

These stories often aren’t reported to authorities, much less in the news.

Having written regularly about this topic for two decades, I know most parents are naïve. Too many people believe sexual violence inflicted by family members takes place in neighborhoods inhabited by “People Not Like Us.”

I grew up in an ordinary suburban family and know that’s not correct. About the time I started grade school, an adult family member began sexually abusing me. Years later, when I tried to tell my mother, she begged me not to mention it to anyone else.

For the next 20 years, I tried to fool myself into believing what had happened didn’t matter. Only after I drove my life into a ditch did I get professional help.

The awful reality is things haven’t improved much in the last half century. The Centers for Disease Control estimates at least one in four girls and one in 20 boys experiences sexual abuse before age 18.

How can each of us better protect all children in our communities? That question led me to reach out to four North Texas leaders in the fight against child sex abuse — each with a key role in bringing justice through the courts and healing to the victims.

These experts pointed out sexual abuse starts with unfettered access — most often in the home, where children are vulnerable captives. They said the solution starts with not looking the other way when something doesn’t seem quite right.

Amy Derrick, an assistant district attorney whose work includes prosecuting crimes against children, said it’s most important — whether you have kids or not — to be available if a young person needs help. “Let them know, if they come forward, they have a safe and trusting place to come to,” she said.

The work starts with your own children: Empower them to set boundaries and say no, monitor their activities and have open, factual conversations.

“That’s how you help your child navigate their world, including their online world, safely and responsibly,” Derrick said. In turn, your kids spread healthy messages to their friends.

The Dallas County DA’s office handled 734 child sexual abuse cases in 2022 and 595 in 2023. This year’s total stands at 515; Derrick said the majority of cases involve a family member.

In the 45 child abuse cases tried this year, 15 ended in sentences of life or 99 years, Derrick said, and most of the other defendants received prison time.

Leigha Simonton, U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of Texas, regularly urges community members to stay alert to warning signs of sexual abuse in children with whom they interact. Her office points to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network website for a list of potential indicators.

“Tragically, the perpetrator is often a parent or another family member,” Simonton said. “If a child cannot feel safe with family, who can they feel safe with?”

The U.S. Attorney’s Office does not disclose the relationship between victim and perpetrator if the information allows the child to be identified. “But I can tell you,” public affairs officer Erin Dooley said, “some of the most appalling cases our office prosecutes involve sexual abuse by a relative — including parents, grandparents or other close relatives.”

Among the cases Simonton’s office has prosecuted in recent months was a Dallas man who filmed himself sexually assaulting girls as young as 6. Gemond Copage Miller was sentenced in May to 60 years in federal prison.

Leslie Michael Alt of Forney, who filmed himself molesting a young child, was sentenced in July to 120 years in prison. “Seeing the images he had of my daughter as a toddler shattered me,” the mother testified at sentencing. “Unable to voice she was uncomfortable, unable to communicate to me, her mother, that any of this was happening to her.”

Kathleen LaValle, president and CEO of Dallas CASA, said sexual abuse conversations focus on perpetrators outside the family because for many people it’s too disturbing to accept the predator is a relative like a biological father, stepfather or uncle.

Dallas CASA, or Court Appointed Special Advocates, supports children who are removed from their homes, including in cases of incest or sexual abuse by a parent’s partner.

The first step toward restoring the innocence of childhood to a sexual abuse victim, LaValle said, is for the child to share the truth. “Unfortunately, most abuse incidents are never reported or go unreported well into adulthood,” she said.

It’s important for adults to follow their instincts. For example, LaValle said, pay attention if a child wants to avoid certain outings or overnight stays or exhibits unusual reluctance, anxiety or apprehension. Avoid the conspiratorial “don’t tell your mom” or “it will be our secret” for low-level offenses like a stop for ice cream before dinner.

The most effective message to share with children, LaValle said, is scary situations become less scary when we talk about them.

Tell your child, “You don’t have to struggle through a frightening situation on your own,” she said. “Come to us if you feel afraid or threatened or just can’t see a good way out.”

Madeline Reedy, chief program officer with the Dallas Children’s Advocacy Center, says we all have an obligation to understand what sexual abuse looks like and to report it quickly to authorities. Among the advocacy center’s many responsibilities is to work with victims in Dallas County criminal sexual abuse cases.

“You think it’s happening over in that neighborhood,” Reedy told me. “It’s really happening in our neighborhood.”

Reedy said the advocacy center’s average client is an 11-year-old girl sexually abused by someone she knows. Seventy percent of the 9,000 cases the advocacy center handled in 2023 involved sexual abuse.

Children rarely tell about the abuse right away, Reedy said. Seventy-three percent don’t tell for at least a year; 45% don’t tell for at least five years. Some never disclose.

That is why it is so critical for adults to recognize the signs and symptoms of abuse and report suspicions to the proper authorities. The Dallas Child Advocacy Center website includes information about spotting abuse as well as many educational opportunities, in both English and Spanish.

“You can be vigilant, without being a vigilante,” Reedy said. “Everyone has an obligation to help.”

If you suspect a child is being sexually abused, call the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services Hotline at 1-800-252-5400 or file an online report at txabusehotline.org