Boston, MA
My wife isn't interested in sex after menopause
My wife isn’t interested in sex after menopause
Hey everybody, can you take this survey? Some questions might not apply to you – or maybe they all will. We’re trying to get a sense of things over here at LL – to bring you the most happiness, etc.
My wife and I were married almost 30 years ago. We’re both in our mid-to-late 50s. We have two children and a relationship that I believe is stronger than most.
Now the hard part.
My wife is post-menopausal and has zero interest in intimacy. Planning date nights, romantic dinners, sharing in household chores, and putting my recreational activities second to her needs … all of that did nothing. I’m not a 10 in the looks department, so I work hard to overcompensate. I try to talk to my wife about this and get the same tired “it’s not you, it’s me.”
Lately the thought of a sexual relationship with someone else seems almost justified. I know it’s wrong and would devastate my wife and children. I love my wife very much and do not want to hurt her. She does not see this an issue.
I acknowledge how this reads – that it’s all about me. My wife is so far unwilling to discuss the matter.
Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings. I welcome any and all advice and feedback.
– The Issue
A bit of validation: it doesn’t sound like you’re only thinking about yourself. You’re worried about everyone. Missing physical intimacy doesn’t make you a selfish, terrible husband.
The issue here seems to be that your wife is unwilling to discuss the matter. Would she be open to speaking to a doctor about how menopause has affected her marriage? Would she talk to a therapist about how a partnership can adapt to a shift in physical needs?
I’m not saying there’s a magic fix for this, but the fact that she won’t address it … it’s troubling.
Make that the big request. Ask her if she’ll join you in therapy. If she won’t, go by yourself and maybe she’ll come along at some point. With guidance in real time, the path might become clear.
Also know that a physical relationship with someone else might not have to be a cheat. Couples have open arrangements. There are ways to do this with everyone’s consent. (The kids and their feelings don’t have to be part of it.)
But before you get to that step, tell her you need help. Explain that she can support you by showing up.
– Meredith
Readers? How do you talk about this? People who’ve lost (or found) their drive, any advice about what to say? How to approach? How you handled this?
I’d love to read your question. Send your own letter by using the anonymous form or email [email protected]. Let’s start a new season with a fresh look on everything.
Boston, MA
Arvidsson Posts Hat Trick In Boston’s 6-3 Win Over Dallas | Boston Bruins
BOSTON –– Viktor Arvidsson’s oldest daughter, Navy, turned five on Tuesday.
The dad, and Boston Bruins forward, celebrated the occasion by posting his fifth career hat trick that night at TD Garden in a 6-3 win over the Dallas Stars.
“That was pretty cool, I got a hat trick on her birthday,” Arvidsson said. “She’ll be happy, for sure.”
Arvidsson’s three goals earned the Bruins their fourth consecutive win against top-ranked opponents and extended his point streak to four games; he has nine points (five goals, four assists) through that stretch.
“I think we have fun together, and we put a lot of emphasis on being hard on each other, really pushing each other,” Arvidsson said. “I think in that regard, we’re really happy where we are.”
The Bruins got out to a 2-0 lead by the end of the first period. Marat Khusnutdinov opened the scoring with his 15th goal of the season. David Pastrnak got the puck down low and chipped it up to Henri Jokiharju, who blasted a shot from the point. Khusnutdinov was there to knock in the rebound at 9:58.
Arvidsson doubled the advantage just as the B’s power play expired. Pavel Zacha threw the puck on net, Pastrnak collected the redirection and pushed it towards the crease where Arvidsson battled for positioning and tapped it in at 18:51 to make it 2-0. Zacha’s helper on the play extended his point streak to five games; he has five goals and four assists in that time.
“It always seems like we play better when we’re playing against better teams. For us, the playoffs already started a long time ago,” head coach Marco Sturm said. “I think that’s a good thing about our team right now – we want to get challenged right now.”
Dallas got on the board in the middle frame with a wrist shot from Jamie Benn at 4:49. Matt Duchene found the 2-2 equalizer at 16:53.
Boston, MA
Need to Know: Bruins vs. Stars | Boston Bruins
BOSTON –– The push continues for the Boston Bruins.
The B’s will host the Dallas Stars on Tuesday at TD Garden for a 7 p.m. puck drop in the teams’ second and final meeting this regular season.
“We’re playing against a really good hockey team. I feel like it feels a little bit the same when we played Minnesota the other night – on paper, a very good team. Obviously, on points and standings, too. Just very high-end talent throughout the lineup,” head coach Marco Sturm said. “It will be a handful, and we have to make sure we’re ready to go. Hopefully, we learned from big, emotional games in the past.”
Boston is coming off a 4-3 shootout win against the Columbus Blue Jackets on Sunday; the group collected all four points available on its back–to–back weekend. Tanner Jeannot and Mark Kastelic’s fights in Columbus sparked the comeback for the Bruins.
“We’re playing really good teams every single night,” Jeannot said. “It’s a really good build-up to the intensity of what’s to come, and we’re just going to continue to learn and grow from it, just like we’ve been doing all year. To have a come-from-behind win like that, it’s only going to help us.”
The Stars, who sit second in the NHL and the Central Division with 100 points, have clinched a playoff berth. The Bruins are in the first wild-card spot in the Eastern Conference with 92 points.
“I think every game right now – it’s felt like playoffs for the last month or so. You can just definitely feel the urgency with every game. It’s no different tonight,” Kastelic said. “I think it’s great for everybody to get a taste of that, myself included. It’s really fun hockey to be part of this time of the year. With eight games to go, to be in the position we are, it’s some of the most fun I’ve had playing hockey in a long time. Hopefully there’s more to come, and tonight’s just another step.”
Henri Jokiharju will remain in the lineup for the Bruins in place of Mason Lohrei, who is working through a day-to-day upper-body injury, Sturm said. Jokiharju will skate on the second pair with Hampus Lindholm. The defenseman has 11 assists through 38 games this season while averaging 17:51 of ice time per night.
Boston, MA
Red Sox offseason pitching additions clobbered by Astros in 2026 debuts
Beyond Garrett Crochet and Roman Anthony on Opening Day, and Wilyer Abreu, in general, not much is going right for the Boston Red Sox in the first games of the 2026 season.
After dropping the last two games of their opening series in Cincinnati, the underwhelming road trip moved on to Houston, where two Red Sox offseason pitching additions were hit hard in their team debuts and Boston lost its most lopsided game yet to the Astros, 8-1, on Monday night.
Left-hander Ranger Suárez lasted 4 1/3 innings and allowed four earned runs on seven hits, one walk and three strikeouts. He gave up home runs to Yordan Alvarez and Brice Matthews.
“There was some good,” manager Alex Cora told reporters of Suárez, “and there were some things that we’ve got to work (on).”
Suarez, whose five-year, $130 million contract is the fourth-richest for a pitcher in franchise history, is coming off a peculiar spring training in which he missed a significant portion of camp due to the World Baseball Classic, but ultimately only pitched once in Team Venezuela’s championship run. He told reporters health wasn’t a factor in Monday’s performance.
“Obviously it wasn’t the result that we all wanted, but physically I felt good,” Suárez said via team translator.
Johan Oviedo, acquired from the Pittsburgh Pirates in December, relieved Suárez but the Astros kept scoring. Yainer Diaz plated Houston’s fifth run with a sacrifice fly in the sixth. Jose Altuve took Oviedo deep on the first pitch of the bottom of the seventh, and Christian Walker’s double high off the wall made it 7-1, before Altuve homered off Oviedo again in the eighth.
“The little man (Altuve) got him,” Cora said. “That’s what he does.”
While the Astros blasted Suárez and Oviedo, Lance McCullers Jr. made mincemeat of the Boston bats. Over seven practically-perfect innings, he yielded just one earned run on four hits, one walk and nine strikeouts.
McCullers retired the first seven Red Sox batters before allowing a baserunner. He faced the minimum three batters per inning until one out in the seventh, because the first two Boston batters to reach – Carlos Narváez and Wilyer Abreu on one-out singles in the third and fifth innings, respectively – immediately became part of inning-ending double plays.
“He was really good,” Cora said of McCullers. “We didn’t put pressure on him early on. … And then when we had him on the ropes, he went to his breaking ball.”
Anthony’s fourth-inning flyout was Boston’s only hard-hit ball with a positive launch angle until the top of the seventh, when the Red Sox briefly broke through and ensured they would at least avoid being shut out.
With one out in the seventh, Trevor Story lined a ball to left and dove into second with a swim move that flipped him over and sent Altuve rolling away from the bag. On his back with his right hand on the base and his legs in the air, Story, who was initially called out, immediately began gesturing emphatically with his left hand. Upon review, the veteran shortstop was safe at second with a double.
Jarren Duran joined Story on the bases with a walk, and though Willson Contreras’ force-out sent Story back to the dugout, Abreu’s ground-rule double brought Duran home to score. Pinch-hitting for Caleb Durbin, who is now 0 for 14 to begin his Red Sox career, Masataka Yoshida forced McCullers to throw eight pitches before he struck out to end the inning.
Marcelo Mayer led off the eighth with a walk against Astros reliever Ryan Weiss, but the Red Sox rally bid ended there. Weiss retired the next six Boston batters.
The Red Sox tallied just four hits, two walks and struck out 12 times. Four games into the MLB season they’ve struck out 41 times, ninth-most in the majors, and scored 11 runs, tied for fourth-fewest.
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