Boston, MA
My wife isn't interested in sex after menopause
My wife isn’t interested in sex after menopause
Hey everybody, can you take this survey? Some questions might not apply to you – or maybe they all will. We’re trying to get a sense of things over here at LL – to bring you the most happiness, etc.
My wife and I were married almost 30 years ago. We’re both in our mid-to-late 50s. We have two children and a relationship that I believe is stronger than most.
Now the hard part.
My wife is post-menopausal and has zero interest in intimacy. Planning date nights, romantic dinners, sharing in household chores, and putting my recreational activities second to her needs … all of that did nothing. I’m not a 10 in the looks department, so I work hard to overcompensate. I try to talk to my wife about this and get the same tired “it’s not you, it’s me.”
Lately the thought of a sexual relationship with someone else seems almost justified. I know it’s wrong and would devastate my wife and children. I love my wife very much and do not want to hurt her. She does not see this an issue.
I acknowledge how this reads – that it’s all about me. My wife is so far unwilling to discuss the matter.
Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings. I welcome any and all advice and feedback.
– The Issue
A bit of validation: it doesn’t sound like you’re only thinking about yourself. You’re worried about everyone. Missing physical intimacy doesn’t make you a selfish, terrible husband.
The issue here seems to be that your wife is unwilling to discuss the matter. Would she be open to speaking to a doctor about how menopause has affected her marriage? Would she talk to a therapist about how a partnership can adapt to a shift in physical needs?
I’m not saying there’s a magic fix for this, but the fact that she won’t address it … it’s troubling.
Make that the big request. Ask her if she’ll join you in therapy. If she won’t, go by yourself and maybe she’ll come along at some point. With guidance in real time, the path might become clear.
Also know that a physical relationship with someone else might not have to be a cheat. Couples have open arrangements. There are ways to do this with everyone’s consent. (The kids and their feelings don’t have to be part of it.)
But before you get to that step, tell her you need help. Explain that she can support you by showing up.
– Meredith
Readers? How do you talk about this? People who’ve lost (or found) their drive, any advice about what to say? How to approach? How you handled this?
I’d love to read your question. Send your own letter by using the anonymous form or email [email protected]. Let’s start a new season with a fresh look on everything.
Boston, MA
What are those giant pink inflatable sculptures in downtown Boston?
BOSTON – It’s a peculiar sight in downtown Boston: Giant pink people peering into restaurant windows and hanging out in alleyways.
These sculptures that are making their debut in the United States are called “Monsieur Rose” or “Mr. Pink” in English. It’s a new art installation designed to catch your attention and lift your spirits.
“These characters transform the streets into playful places and our daily travels into delightful, colorful journeys,” a website for the exhibit says.
“Cute-ism” art
Their collective name in French roughly translates to “cute-ism” from artist Philippe Katerine. The inflatable sculptures are part of this year’s Winteractive art walk.
Winteractive is the same event that brought floating clown heads to the city last year. The Downtown Boston Alliance says the reaction encouraged them to up the ante this year.
Changing people’s days
Michael Nichols with the Downtown Boston Alliance says the organization is exploring “different ways of using our downtown to have fun.”
“It is the darkest, drabbest time of year in Boston. It’s gray … just cold and bitter,” he said. “And pops of pink color, bubblegum pink dotting the downtown in now six different locations is changing people’s day.”
Mr. Pink is only the beginning of the experience – new installations will be added to the collection every day for the next week. On Thursday morning there was another eye-catching sight: A display that appeared to show a satellite or small spacecraft that had crashed onto the hood of a car.
Boston, MA
ICE blasts Boston: Feds say BPD refused 198 immigration detainer requests for ‘egregious crime’ in 2024, not 15
Federal authorities said the Boston Police Department refused to act on 198 immigration detainer requests last year, far exceeding the 15 reported by BPD’s commissioner, while blasting the city for jeopardizing “public safety and national security.”
Boston, MA
Egg prices have doubled amid shortage, Boston diner owner says
BOSTON – South Street Diner is an institution in the city. They see Bostonians coming at all hours of the night. The line out the door comes for the breakfast, particularly the eggs. Only these days, a shortage in the country is making eggs harder to stomach for the only restaurant in the city licensed to serve 24 hours.
“Just about six weeks ago, middle of November, we started getting phone calls from US Foods,” said Solomon Sidell, owner of South Street Diner. “Our pricing has not changed at all. We have ingested the pricing to be able to make sure we can serve the customer at this time.”
Impact of bird flu
The price of an egg has doubled for Sidell and his team now that the shortage has impacted their supplier. Chickens became impacted by an avian flu. Roughly 40% of the country’s hens are raised in cage-free facilities, and 60% of the bird flu cases were found in such type farms. In addition to the price hike, Sidell also has to order two weeks ahead just to make sure they keep coming.
“We have about just under a pallet of eggs about 150 dozen left,” said Sidell. “We buy those Friday morning, Saturday morning, and then by Monday morning they are gone, so we have to start the process again.”
On a given weekend, they can go through 400 dozen eggs. Their busiest night of the year is New Year’s Eve through New Year’s Day.
“To have the highest prices for eggs for the year on your busiest day of the year is a punch in the gut,” said Sidell. “I would prefer not to raise pricing in inflation time.”
He expects the shortage to end in mid-February. Right now, they have no plans to adjust their pricing, but if the shortage continues past February, he says they will have to re-evaluate.
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